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This is well illustrated in the 'you-I' and the 'i-it' attitude discussed in the book.

The 'you-I' attitude


involves active listening, listening with empathy and great communication and is the cornerstone of
any effective relationship in the workplace.
On the other hand 'I-it' relationship indicates a detachment, yet according to the author it has its
own place in the workplace.
Where can 'I-it' relationship are used effectively in the workplace? Discuss

I-it Attitude
Whenever we take an 'objective' attitude toward a person, whenever we view him as part of the
world and caught in its causal chain, we are in an 'I-It' relationship, even though the object happens
to be a person. The 'I-It' relationship is characterized by the fact that it is not a genuine relationship
because it does not take place between the I and the It.
I-It relationship is maintained with only part of ourselves in it. There is always a part of us that
remains outside the relationship and views it from some vantage point.
In the I-It situation the part of the self that remains outside the relationship cannot be injured by the
other party because he cannot reach it.
In an I-It relationship we interact with people in their social roles. Our conversations are superficial
and impersonal. This is the way we normally communicate with salespeople, servers in restaurants,
and clerical staff. Students on large campuses may also feel they are treated as its, and not as
persons. Most of our relationships start at the I-it level, and develop from there. Closer
relationships must move to the second level, I-You.
I-You Attitude
I-You communication accounts for most of our interactions. In this type of communication, people
interact with one another as more than objects. For example, you may start talking to one of your
classmates by saying something like "Boy that was a tough exam, eh?" The other person might
respond with, "You can say that again, I studied all night and I still think I failed." And the
conversation goes on from there. In this interaction, you and the student treat each other as more
than "its." Interaction is still guided by your social role as student. Teachers and students often talk
personally, yet stay within their social roles and keep their private selves hidden. We communicate
with less depth with most people in our social circles than with those we love most. Casual friends,
work associates, and interactions with distant family members typically involve I-You communication

When we are in I-It mode we treat other people as means to an end. In the I-You mode,
our relationship with them becomes an end in itself.
The I-It attitude underlies an individualist, me-first mode, one which sees others in terms of
what you can do for me. Such a perspective starkly limits empathy to instrumentality,
attuning only enough to understand how to get what one wants.
The I-You relationship is total involvement of self and other in intimacy, sharing, empathy,
caring, openness, and trust.

The I-It relationship consists of self-viewing other in abstract terms, resulting in possession,
exploitation, and distrust.