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6/2/2015

BodyLanguageSecretsofIncrediblySuccessfulPeople

JeffHaden
Ghostwriter,Speaker,Inc.MagazineContributing
Editor
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BodyLanguageSecretsofIncredibly
SuccessfulPeople
Jun2,2015

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Youcontrolyourbody,butyourbodyalsocontrolsyou.Simplegestures,simple
postureseachmakesadramaticimpactonhowyouthink,feel,andperform.
Butthatdoesn'tmeanyouhavetobeanathleteoryogiorcontortionisttotake
advantageofthat.Youcanstillbeyou.
Onlynowyoucanbeabetteryou.
Hereare10coolways:
1.LieDown,BeMoreCreative
AccordingtoAustraliaNationalUniversityprofessorDr.DarrenLipnicki,lyingdown
canleadtocreativebreakthroughs.
"Itmightbethatwehaveourmostcreativethoughtswhileflatonourback,"hesays.
Onereasonmightbethatmoreofthechemicalnoradrenalineisreleasedwhile
we'restanding,andnoradrenalinecouldinhibitourabilitytothinkcreatively.
Nowyouhaveagreatexcusetolaybackandthink.

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2.CrossYourArms,BeMoreDetermined
Oddlyenough,crossingyourarmswillmakeyoustickwithan"unsolvable"problem
alotlongerandwillmakeyouperformbetteronsolvableproblems.
That'sdefinitelycool,becausepersistenceisatraitmostsuccessfulentrepreneurs
needinabundance.
Wheneveryoufeelstuck,tryfoldingyourarmsagainstyourtorso.Andthenkeep
pushingahead!
3.StandLikeSuperman,GainConfidence
AccordingtoHarvardprofessorAmyCuddy,twominutesofpowerposingstanding
tall,holdingyourarmsoutortowardsthesky,orstandinglikeSupermanwithyour
handsonyourhipswilldramaticallyincreaseyourlevelofconfidence.
Trythisonebeforeyoustepintoasituationwhereyouknowyou'llfeelnervous,
insecure,orintimidated.(Justmakesurenooneiswatching.)
Idoitforafewminutesbeforeeveryspeakinggigbecauseitdefinitelyworks.
4.TenseYourMuscles,GainWillpower
Youknowhowyouinstinctivelytenseupbeforeyouhaveblooddrawn?That'syour
body'swayoftryingtominimizepain.
Flexingyourmusclesalsohelpsyoustaymorefocusedwhenyouhearnegative
information.Flexingcanevenincreaseyourabilitytoresisteatingtemptingfood.
(Soundslikeweshouldbeflexingallday.)
5.Smile,ReduceStress
Frowning,grimacing,andothernegativefacialexpressionssignalyourbrainthat
whateveryouaredoingisdifficult.Soyourbodyrespondsbyreleasingcortisol,
whichraisesyourstresslevels.
Stressbegetsmorestress...begetsmorestress...andinnotime,you'reahotmess.
Here'sthecure:Makeyourselfsmile.You'llfeellessstressevenifnothingelse
aboutthesituationchanges.
Andthere'sabonus:Whenyousmile,otherpeoplefeellessstress,too.Which,of
course,willreduceyourstresslevels.Sokilltwostresseswithonesmile.
(Bytheway,smilingalsomakesworkingouteasier.Sayyou'redoingrepswitha
heavyweightnaturallyyou'llgrimace.Butifyouforceyourselftosmile,you'lloften
findyoucandooneortwomorereps.Tryitbutbepreparedforwhenothergym
ratslookatyouoddly.)
6.BowSlightly,PutYourselfatEase
Home

Profile

Connections

Jobs

Interests

BusinessServices

Tiltingyourheadforwardslightlywhenyoumeetsomeoneshowsdeferenceand

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BodyLanguageSecretsof

IncrediblySuccessful
Advanced
People
JeffHaden

Thenexttimeyoumeetsomeone,tiltyourheadforwardslightly,smile,makeeye
contact,andshowyouarehonoredbytheintroduction.
13

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Wealllikepeoplewholikeus,soifIshowyouI'mgenuinelyhappytomeetyou,
you'llinstantlystarttolikeme.Andyouwillshowyoulikeme...andthatwillhelp
calmmynervesandhelpmebemyself.
7.MimicOthers,UnderstandTheirEmotions
Soundsstrange,butresearchshowsthatimitatingotherpeople'snonverbal
expressionscanhelpyouunderstandtheemotionstheyareexperiencing.
Sinceweallexpressouremotionsnonverbally,copyingthoseexpressionsaffects
ourownemotionsduetoan"afferentfeedbackmechanism."
Inshort:Mimicmyexpressionsandyou'llbetterunderstandhowIfeelwhichmeans
youcanbetterhelpmeworkthroughthosefeelings.Plus,mimickingfacial
expressions(somethingweoftendowithoutthinking)makestheotherpersonfeel
theinteractionwasmorepositive.
8.StandatanAngle,ReduceConflict
Whentensionsarehigh,standingfacetofaceautomaticallyfeelsconfrontational.
Whenwhatyouhavetosaymaymakeanotherpersonfeelchallenged,shiftyour
feetslightlytostandorsitatanangle.Andifyou'reconfronted,don'tbackaway.
Justshifttothatslightangle.You'llimplicitlyreduceanyperceivedconfrontationand
maymakeanuncomfortableconversationfeellessadversarial.
9.UseYourHands,ImproveRetention
Researchshowsrequiringchildrentospeakwhiletheyarelearninghasnoeffecton
enhancinglearningbutrequiringthemtogesturehelpsthemretaintheknowledge
theygain.
Ifitworksforkids,itwillworkforus,too.Accordingtooneresearcher,"Gesturing
canthusplayacausalroleinlearning,perhapsbygivinglearnersanalternative,
embodiedwayofrepresentingnewideas."
Soundsgoodtome.
10.ChewGum,BeMoreAlertandinaBetterMood
OK,sochompingonawadofgummaynotlookparticularlyprofessional.Still,a
numberofstudiesshowchewinggumcanmakeyoumorealert.
Andimproveyourreactiontimes.
Andimproveselectiveandsustainedattention.
Andimproveyourdisposition.

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BodyLanguageSecretsofIncrediblySuccessfulPeople

Here'sathought:Thenexttimeyouneedtosolveadifficultproblem,liedown,cross
yourarms,andpopinastickofgum.Maybe,justmaybe,that'sthewinning
combinationyouneedtoachieveyournextbreakthrough.
IalsowriteforInc.com:
8ToxicEmployeesThatCanRuinGreatCompanies
TheOnlyWaytoGetReally,ReallyRich
5WaystoPerfectYourLinkedInProfile
8BehaviorsofPhenomenallySuccessfulPeople
Checkoutmybookofpersonaland
professionaladvice,TransForm:
DramaticallyImproveYourCareer,
Business,Relationships,andLifeOne
SimpleStepAtaTime.(PDFversion
here,Kindleversionhere,Nookversion
here.)
Ifafter10minutesyoudon'tfindatleast5
thingsyoucandotomakeyourlifebetterI'll
refundyourmoney.
Thatwayyouhavenothingtolose...and
everythingtogain.

interpersonalcommunication

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performanceimprovement

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JeffHaden
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DeneAllredEVPOfficeTenantRep/Brokerage
"DeneofRealEstate"Bulldoginsolvingclientconcerns&experiencedinfindingyou
theperfectopportunity.
Thiscreatesa"fascinatingrhythm"The"DeneofRealEstate"
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JeffHaden
Ghostwriter,Speaker,Inc.MagazineContributing
Editor
Follow

TheUndercoverInterviewCanBe
theBestInterview
Jun1,2015

162,636

1,068

204

Interviewscanprovidegreatinsight.Butdoyouknowwhatapotentialnewhire
isreallythinking?
Sometimesyoudon't.That'swhytheundercoverinterviewcanbeagreattool.
Here'showitworks.Mostinterviewsincludesomeformoftour,evenifthetouris
justaquickstrollaroundtheofficearea.Handlethattourcorrectlyandyoumight
learnalotmorethanyoueverimaginedaboutacandidate'smotivations,interests,
andfitforyourbusiness.
Forexample,yearsagoIwasinchargeofmanufacturing.Mybosshadjustfinished
interviewingacandidateforamanagementpositionandwasabouttoshowhim
aroundtheplantwhensomecrisis(therealwaysseemedtobeacrisis)cameup.
Ihappenedtobeinthehall.Mybosssawmeandsaid,"Jeff,canyoushowTom
(nothisrealname)around?He'sinterviewingfortheopeningwehaveincustomer
service.Great!Thanks!"
Andoffhestrodetoslayanotherdragon.
ByaccidentIslippedunderTom's"howimportantisthispersoninthe
organization?"radar,adevicemanyjobcandidatesemploy.Hedidn'tknowmyrole.
Mybossdidn'tintroducemebytitle,andIdidn'tintroducemyselfthatwayeither
becauseIwasn'tintotitles.
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BodyLanguageSecretsofIncrediblySuccessfulPeople

WhenTomaskedIsaid,"Iworkinmanufacturing,"becausethat'swhatIalways
said.
AndTomcouldn'ttellwhatmyrolewasbymyclothing.Eventhoughalltheother
managersdressed"professionally,"Ihadshiftedmypersonaldresscodetojeans
andpoloshirts:Ispent90%ofmytimeonthefloor,likedtogetinvolved,likedtoget
dirty...okay,whoamIkidding.Ihatedkhakisandhadfoundbusinessreasonsnot
towearthemplus,whenyououtperformyouaren'talwaysrequiredtoconform.
SoTomassumedIwasjustashopfloorguy.Withinminuteshesaidthingsand
askedquestionshewouldneverhavehadifheknewmyroleinthecompany.
Ilearned:
Hewasaskedtoresignfromtwopreviousjobsbutitdefinitelywasn'thisfault.
Hisbossescreatedconflictbyconstantlyholdinghimback.
Hefeltfocusingonproductivitybothprofessionallyandpersonallystifled
creativity."I'manideasguy,"hesaid."I'mnothandson."
Hewantedtoknowiftherewerepoliciesagainstdatingemployees,especially
thosethatmightreporttohim.
Heaskedhowoftenhewouldhavetointeractwithmybosssincehealready
couldtellmybosswasajerk.
MybosswasleaningtowardshiringTomuntilItoldhimaboutourtour."Wow.Ihad
noclue.Hewasgreatinmyinterviews,"hesaid."Howdidyougetallthatoutof
him?"
"Ididn't,"Ireplied."Hejusttoldme."
Here'swhytheundercovertourworks:
SomecandidatesputonagreatshowfortheCEO...buttheydon'ttrynearly
ashardiftheythinkapersonisbeneaththem.Thinkofitastheservertest:If
youwantinsightintohowapersontreatspeople,takethemtolunch.Howthey
interacttheserverisamuchbetterindicationoftheirinterpersonalskillsthan
howtheyinteractwithyou.
Somecandidateswanttoknowthe"insidescoop"aboutthecompany(which
isfairenoughsinceinterviewsareatwowayprocess).Theywilloftenaskthe
undercovertourguidequestionstheywillneveraskyou,andthatgivesyou
betterinsightintotheirperspectivesandagendas.
Someotherwisegreatcandidatessimplydon'tperformwellininterviews.A
tourconductedbysomeoneotherthanyougivesthosepeoplethechanceto
relaxandshowtheirtrue(andoftenpositive)colors.
Nexttimeyouhaveanopenposition,giveitatry.Choosesomeoneinyour
organizationwhoseopinionyoutrust.Don'tintroducethembytitle,andtellthemto
berelativelyvagueabouttheirroleintheorganizationifasked.
Whenyoufinishyourformalinterview,justsaytothecandidate,"(Jeff)isgoingto
showyouaroundsoyoucanseewhatwedo.Takeallthetimeyouneed,andI'll
seeyouwhenyou'redone."
Sneaky?Notreally.Themoreyouknowaboutthecandidatesthebetterhiring
decisionyoucanmake.Plusyougetasecondopinionaboutacandidatefroma
personyoutrust.
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BodyLanguageSecretsofIncrediblySuccessfulPeople

Theundercovertourisjustanotherwaytogivepotentialnewhiresachanceto
showtheyareagreatfitforthepositionandyourbusiness.Mostwillshine.Some
willnot.
Eitherway,yougettomakeabetterhiringdecision.
Andisn'tthattheultimategoalofeverygoodhiringprocess?
IalsowriteforInc.com:
8ToxicEmployeesThatCanRuinGreatCompanies
5QuestionsGreatJobCandidatesAsk
5WaystoPerfectYourLinkedInProfile
ThreeInterviewQuestionsThatRevealEverything
8BehaviorsofPhenomenallySuccessfulPeople
Checkoutmybookofpersonaland
professionaladvice,TransForm:
DramaticallyImproveYourCareer,
Business,Relationships,andLifeOne
SimpleStepAtaTime.(PDFversion
here,Kindleversionhere,Nookversion
here.)
Ifafter10minutesyoudon'tfindatleast5
thingsyoucandotomakeyourlifebetterI'll
refundyourmoney.
Thatwayyouhavenothingtolose...and
everythingtogain.

management

interviewskills

leadership

Writtenby

JeffHaden
237posts
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BodyLanguageSecretsofIncrediblySuccessfulPeople

BriandeHaaff
CEO,Aha!#1productroadmapsoftware
Follow

WhyCruelLeadersGetAlltheLove
Jun1,2015

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Yearsago,Iworkedalongsideamanwhowasarealtyrant.He
wouldbarkordersathisdirectreports,andtheywouldpractically
jumpoutoftheirshoestodoasheasked.Thecruelerhebehaved,
themoretheyseemedtofollowhimaroundwithpuppydogeyes.It
almostseemedliketheylovedhim.

Ifeltsorryforthemandangryatthesametime.Ididnotunderstandwhy
theywouldnotstanduptotheirawfulboss.

WasImissingsomethingthere?IhavebeentheCEOofthreecompanies,including
nowatAha!(whichisproductroadmapsoftware)andIhavenotforgottenhim.
Ioftenwonderwhatinspirespeopletofollowleaderslikethatboss,despiteallthe
mistreatment.Aretheyincrediblycharismatic?Isthereasoftersidethatonlysome
peoplecansee?
Notusually.Herearetherealreasonsthatacruelleaderseemstogetallthelove:
Fear
Byallappearances,thedepartmentseemstoberunningsmoothly.Everyone
appearstobegettingalongjustfineanddoingtheirwork,butitisjustacover.His
employeesareafraidtochallengehim,andsotheykeeptheirtruefeelingsto
themselves.Thisfearcausesthemtokeeptheirheadsdownandnotmakeany
waves.
Nocomplaints
Nooneiscomplaining,soeverythingappearstobeokay.However,theabsenceof
friendlygossipindicatesthatsomethingisamiss.Coworkersarenotconfidingin
eachotherbecausetheyknowhewillsomehowfindout,andthenwhat?Thisfear
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ofunknownconsequencesforcesemployeestokeeptheabusivebehaviorto
themselves.
Workhappens
Hisdepartmentworksandjustgetsbybecausetheyhavelearnedthatbadthings
happenwhentheymissthemark.Theyareafraidtofailknowingfromexperience
thattheywillbesingledoutandshamedforfallingshortoftheirgoals.
Therespectthatcruelleadersseemtoearnisonlyanillusion.

Cruelleadersdonotreallygetallthelove.Itonlyappearsthatway.Under
thesurface,theyaredespisedbyeveryone.

Cruelleadersinspirehatred,notlove,preciselybecausetheyarecompletely
focusedonthemselvesanduseotherstogetwhattheywant.Theytakewhatcould
beagreatopportunitytoinspireotherstobegreat,andtheysquanderitbybeing
ruthless.
Haveyouknownacruelleader?
Also,ifyouwouldliketoreadmyfuturepostsonleadershipthenpleaseclick
'Follow'atthetopofthisarticleandfeelfreetoconnectviaTwitter
__________________________________________________________________
ABOUTBRIANANDAHA!
Brianseeksbusinessandwildernessadventure.Hehas
beenthefounderorearlyemployeeofsixcloudbased
softwarecompaniesandistheCEOofAha!theworld's
#1productroadmapsoftware.Hislasttwocompanies
wereacquiredbyArubaNetworks[ARUN]andCitrix
[CTXS].
SignupforafreetrialofAha!andseewhy10,000+users
ontheworld'sleadingproductandengineeringteamstrust
Aha!tobuildbrilliantproductstrategyandvisualroadmaps.
Wearerapidlygrowingandhiring.ProductMarketingManager.Product
ManagementDirector.RailsDevelopers.CustomerSuccess.Joinawinningteam
workfromanywhereintheUSandbehappy.

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