10:02 am, Saturday, 2/20/2010, 9 Chicchan, Serpent

Vlogged here on YouTube Wow! What a difference a day makes.Oh heck, I know that, in a great sense, time is not, anymore. A ‘Day’ begins to lose its meaning rather quickly, in the midst of all this change. Still, it is rather amazing. So, yesterday, and again this morning, to some extent, I was feeling heavy and pain filled to a great extent. For about a week this has been present, somewhat in the background --i.e., I could remain reasonable functional in its midst--but the last few days, especially, I have seemingly gone back to the old ‘Disabled’ status, needing to rest a lot, being filled with such pain. Anyway, I explored some of this in a private journal last night, seeking understanding. Not that any came, but I explored. The physical stuff was bad enough, but that I can take. I think I’ve demonstrated in this life that, my priorities being such that the physical dimension is almost inconsequential to them, physical challenges can be borne. What really initiated the journal, though, was more on the spiritual side, the energetic side. You see, for this same time, roughly, I’ve felt somewhat isolated, intuition-wise, from those Light Beings who I’ve grown so used to having close with me, always. Now THAT has been bothersome. I was waiting, sort of in patience, to see what would transpire; would they reappear, or would the isolation feeling continue? So, last night the waiting ended, and I reached out. In one of the most unusual journaling experiences of my life, I did not seem to make contact. Nothing. That has never happened before, and it felt quite strange. While feeling more grounded than ever--which is a good thing, mind you--yet I seemed unable to connect with my Higher Self or with the Light Beings. Now this is not exactly correct. Words never are, even under the best of circumstances. They don’t ever deserve blind belief. Anyway, I called upon a particular group of beings, a High Council, and at first it seemed they did answer, telling me they were with me. Then I might have gone wrong; I don’t know. I asked them to prove themselves, to show me, somehow, that they were of the Light; that they were who they said they were. That’s where my sensing failed me, I guess. I seemed to sense a little something, but in not being able to perceive it clearly enough, well; nothing. Just nothing. Well, under those circumstances--which, note, I set up for myself--I was, of course, unable to continue with any conversation. I mean, how could I communicate with beings I could not clearly establish were who they said they were? It left me in a quandary. I do believe that valor is the better part of wisdom. Now, wait a minute. That’s ridiculous! What a huge ‘Typo!’ It is discretion that is considered the better part of wisdom, and well do I

know that saying. Yet Source penned in the word ‘Valor’ instead. How intriguing. That’s perhaps the biggest ‘Typo’, yet, as the words just kept coming, not letting me stop and correct. Hmmm. (Everything has meaning, you know. There are no such things as ‘Typos,’ generally, just as there are no accidents, no luck, no coincidences...) So, where was I? There I was, sitting there, having worked myself right out of communicating with whomever had responded to me, so there I sat. I felt as if surrounded in cotton wool, insulated and isolated from communing with all beings of Light. I sat in silence, alone, and trust me, that is NOT my usual case. If anything, I am connected and in communion, pretty much 24/7, so this was odd. It’s funny, but I felt for myself as that journal continued. I felt the pain of that, for I did not know why I was being isolated, either at that time or during the previous week or so. I did not know whether I’d perhaps ‘Done something wrong,’ if there is such a thing, or if it can be done unintentionally, or what. Was I being tested, for instance? I just didn’t know. So there I sat. I had reached out, but gotten no answers. I felt lost. So I surrendered. When one can’t do anything, it is often best to just let go, to let be; to accept. I accepted my state. Then, along came a very funny thing. Now, it did not feel at all funny at the time--nor was it-but I found myself in prayer. Before you either gasp or laugh at that, let me explain. It’s not that I never pray. It’s something quite different from that. Please be in heart to hear this, and I will try to explain. It is that I am always ‘In prayer,’ if you will. I am always so connected, so centered, so aware of the Light, of Source, that I am as if in constant communion with that. Thus, where is the need to pray, to reach out to anything in prayer? Do you see? Though I did not then realize that, this has been my state for some time. I just hadn’t taken the time, or focused the awareness sufficiently on self to note this state. I was simply in it. Okay, moving on. What occurred, then, felt at first so odd, so unusual to me. I found myself reaching out to Prime Creator, to Highest Source, in prayer. In the midst of my surrender to the cotton-wool state, I just settled down deeper into heart and connected, reconnected with the heart of that. (God or Source is within us all, you know...no matter how ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ you’ve been.) So, I found myself ‘Praying.’ It felt strange, but right, too. God never fails, you know. God always, always is there, always, always answers, no matter what else may seem to be the case. It’s just the fact. Okay, so I’m there, praying. What else is happening? While I don’t seem to directly hear any answers to my prayer, I’m not looking for them, at this point. I’m just loving, just connecting, just flowing, with all my might, along that line of connection to Source. Though not getting any direct answers, the way I’m accustomed to receive them, the connection is made, and the deep, joyful tears begin to flow. I am not loved; I am Love, itself, flowing. Words are not needed.

This went along for a time, then something kind of amusing happened. Having accepted the cotton-wool state, and accepted the lack of understanding about it, the not-knowingness, I really let go. Be in heart, here, okay? I decided, and let Source know, that, if I got bored with being Theresa, I would just go be the crystal, for a while. There is a background to that that is not available, here, in this writing, which I will encapsulate, thus: I am the crystal. The mind has no understanding of this at all, so don’t ask; I truly do’t know. What I DO know is that it is deeply true: I literally am the crystal. We share beingness. So, not being the body or the mind, it just seemed easy at the time to turn to other aspects of my beingness, and go be the crystal, go share love there, for a time. As I flowed out into this, I fell in love, all over again, with the Earth, reaching into the waters of the oceans and seas, the mountains, the valleys, the trees, and all life. Then, continuing, I realized I could simply reach out and go be the Earth for a time. If the Earth, then of course, also, the sun. (The sun and I have shared many a loving adventure and experience, together. I am perfectly content to go be with, be in, even to BE the sun.) You see the drift. I am not limited to body beingness. Thus, if there is any limitation or condition of the body beingness, that does not limit me in any way. It is just that. It is not me. May you be blessed by this deep sharing. Love Is. I Am. You Are. All are One. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10:56 AM, 2/20 2nd 11:23 am, 2/20 3rd 7:31 pm, 2/20 4th -



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