Original Writing: Saturday, 2/20/2010 1st, 9 Chicchan, Serpent Edited and learned from: 3/18/2010, 1:00 pm, 9 Chuen, Monkey Note

1: any Mayan day number, such as the two days, above, numbered “9,” only comes around once every 13 days. Interesting, that this journal so strongly partakes of the 9 energy) Note 2: See the separate, previous journal, Oneness Experienced. It formed the basis for this journal. The blue text represents the new illumination that arose, resulting in Oneness Re-experienced

ONENESS RE-EXPERIENCED — ILLUMINATION ARISES* ♥ Have fun with this ♥ ☼ ♥ It is quite playful ♥
Wow! What a difference a day makes.Oh heck, I know that, in a great sense, time

is not, anymore. A ‘day’ begins to lose its meaning rather quickly, in the midst of all this change. Still, it is rather amazing.
So, yesterday, and again this morning, to some extent, I was feeling heavy and pain filled to a great extent. For about a week this has been present, somewhat in the background —i .e., I could remain reasonably functional in its midst — but the last few days, especially, I have seemingly gone back to the old ‘disabled’ status,

needing much rest, being filled with such pain.
Anyway, I explored some of this in a private journal last night, seeking understanding. Not that any came... but I explored. The physical stuff was bad enough, but that I can take. I think I’ve demonstrated in this life that, my priorities being such that the physical dimension is almost inconsequential to them, physical challenges can

be borne.
What really initiated the journal, though, was more on the spiritual

side, the energetic side. You see, for this same time, roughly, I’ve felt somewhat isolated, intuition-wise, from those Light Beings who I’ve grown so used to having close with me, always. Now THAT has been bothersome.
I was waiting, over this period, sort of in patience, to see what would transpire. Would they reappear, or would the isolation feeling continue? So, last night the waiting ended, and I reached out. In one

of the most unusual journaling experiences of my life, I did not seem to make contact. Nothing. That has never happened before, and it felt quite strange. While feeling more grounded than ever — a good thing, mind you — yet I seemed unable to connect with my Higher Self or with the Light Beings. This was so strange.
Now this is not exactly

correct. Words never are, even under the best of circumstances. They don’t ever deserve blind belief. Anyway, I called upon a particular group of beings, a High Council, and at first it seemed they did answer, telling me they were with me, in our usual way. (I am clairsentient.)
Then I might have gone wrong; I don’t know. I asked

them to prove themselves, to show me, somehow, that they were of the Light; that they were who they said they were. That’s where my sensing failed me, I guess. I seemed to sense a little something, but not being able to

perceive it clearly enough, well; nothing. Just nothing.
So, under those circumstances — which, note, I set up for myself (and, indeed, set myself up ;) — I was, of course, unable to continue with any conversation. I mean, how could I communicate with beings


could not clearly establish were who they said they were? It left me in a quandary. Yep, I’d set myself up.
I do believe that valor

is the better part of wisdom. Now, wait a minute. That’s ridiculous! What a huge ‘typo!’ It is discretion that is considered the better part of wisdom, and well do I know that saying.*
Yet Source penned in the word ‘valor’ instead. How intriguing. That’s perhaps the biggest ‘typo’, yet, as the words just keep coming, not letting me stop and correct. Hmmm. (Everything has meaning, you know.

There are no such things as ‘typos,’ generally, just as there are no accidents, no luck, no coincidences...)
So, where was I? There I was, sitting there, having worked myself right out

of communicating with whomever had responded to me; so there I sat. I felt as if surrounded in cotton wool, insulated and isolated from communing with all beings of Light. I felt abandoned. I sat in silence, alone, and trust me, that is NOT my usual case. If anything, I am connected and in communion, pretty much 24/7, so this was odd.
It’s funny, but I

felt for myself as that journal continued. As the observing self, the witness, just watching, I felt the pain of that, for I did not know why I was being isolated, either at that time or during the previous week or so. I did not know whether I’d perhaps ‘done something wrong,’ if there is such a thing, or if it can be done unintentionally... or what? Was I being tested, for instance? I just didn’t know. When one can’t do anything, it is often best to just let go, to let be; to accept. This is wise. I accepted my state.
So, there I sat. I had reached out, but gotten no answers. I felt lost. So I surrendered.

Now, of course, I see that I had, indeed, gotten answers. Not being sufficiently alert, or centered...or maybe having been both of these, and just intentionally outplaying this charade, this drama, for whatever delight Source might get (and give) in it...there I sat. The emotions were very real, and deep, nonetheless.
Then, along came a very funny thing. Now, it did not

feel at all funny at the time — nor was it — but I found myself in prayer. Before you either gasp or laugh, let me explain. It’s not that I never pray. It’s something quite different from that. Please be in heart to hear this, and I will try to explain.
It is that I am always

‘in prayer,’ if you will. I am always so connected, so centered, so aware of the Light, of Source, that I am as if in constant communion with that. Thus, where is the need to pray, to reach out to anything in prayer? Do you see?
Though I did not then realize that, previously, this had been my state for some time. I just hadn’t taken the time, or focused the awareness sufficiently (on self) to note this state. I was simply in it, living it.

Okay, moving on. What occurred, next, felt at first so odd, so unusual to me. I found myself reaching

out to Prime Creator, to Highest Source, in prayer. In the midst of my surrender to the cottonwool state, I just settled down deeper into heart and connected, reconnected with the heart of that. (God or Source is within us all, you know...no matter how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ you’ve been...no matter, no matter, no matter!
So, I found myself ‘praying.’ It felt strange, but right, too. God never fails, you know. God always, always is there, always, always answers, no matter what else may seem to be the case. It’s just the fact. Knowing this,

on a deep, heart level, as I do, made my current quandary seem all the stranger; i.e., that God wouldn’t answer. :-) (This ‘silent’ situation, by the way, has continued pretty much to the present.)
Okay, so I’m there, praying. What else is happening? While I don’t seem to directly hear any answers to my prayer, I’m not looking for them, at this point. I’m just loving, just connecting, just flowing,

with all my might, along that line of connection to Source.
Though not getting any direct answers, the way I’m accustomed to receive them, the connection is

made, and the deep, joyful tears begin to flow. I am not loved; I am Love, itself, flowing. Words are not needed in these precious moments...
This went along for a time, then something

kind of amusing happened. Having accepted the cotton-wool state, and accepted the lack of understanding about it, the not-knowingness, I really let go. Be in heart, here, okay? I decided, and let Source know, it that, if I got bored with being Theresa, I would just go be the crystal, for a while. How funny! And I meant it, quite literally, too. I kid you not. (Read some more journals ;-)
There is a background

to that that is not available, here, in this writing, which I will encapsulate, thus: I am the crystal. The mind has no understanding of this at all, so don’t ask; I truly don’t know. What I DO know is that it is deeply true: I literally am the crystal. We share being-ness. So, not being the body nor the mind, it just seemed easy at the time to turn to other aspects of my beingness, and go be the crystal; to go share love there, for a time.
As I flowed out into this, making a fact of it, I fell

in love, all over again, with the Earth, reaching into the waters of the oceans and seas, becoming the mountains, the valleys, the trees, and all life. What a blissful journey!
Then, continuing, I realized I could simply reach out and go

be the Earth for a time. And, if the Earth, then why not the sun! (The sun and I have shared many a loving adventure and experience, together. I am perfectly content to go be with, be in, even to BE the sun.)
You see the drift. I am not limited to body being-ness. Thus, if there is any limitation or condition of the body beingness, that does not limit me in any way. It is just that. It is not me.

May you be blessed by this deep sharing. Love Is. I Am. You Are. All are One.

* Ah, what fools do we make of ourselves when we think that we know something! The saying, of course, is “Discretion is the better part of valor.” How I got this so twisted up, who

knows... ;-)
Yet, wait; I see it, now. Of course

I know the quote...but Source writes these journals; I just flow with them. Thus, look at the situation I was describing. I had challenged those Light Beings I was accustomed to commune with. In a fit of compunction, after having read or heard something of the many shady characters, ETs who try to disguise themselves as real beings of Light, I had challenged my Light friends. I had set myself up.
They, for whatever reason, did not manage to make me realize it was really them. Light beings are never

pushy, by the way. So there I sat, neatly self-tied in a bow. Comical, now that I look back on it! Especially, now that, on re-reading, I see them clearly signaling me, via the words that came through (and the oddness of the double misquote, or ‘typo’), that it’s them. Do you see it?
Look again. “Valor (i.e., courage) is the better part of wisdom.” (Of course the real saying is “Discretion is the better part of valor.”) So I misquoted...but look at those words. In other words, my Light friends are

saying, “Come on, be brave; it is us. You would be wise to trust us.”
Do you see it? Here sits the real fool, for I

didn’t. And they haven’t spoken to me, again, to this day (3/18/2010). Oh, did I mention that Spirit isn’t pushy?? This also shows the power of will and of intent; mine.
How funny! I asked them to show themselves, and they did.

Obviously, though, an old misconception got in the way. I guess I expected some visual (clairvoyant) or audible (clairaudient) sign of their presence? Note, also, the confounding element of fear. Though it is subtle, it is present in the challenging of old friends.
Then, look at the next line, the further misquote: “It is discretion that is considered the better part of wisdom, and well do I know that saying.” Just look at that! Look at mind making a further fool of itself. Oh, the joke is

too funny, too, for mind is being used (by Higher Self), in its own arrogance of supposedly ‘knowing,’ to point out its own foolishness! Oh, what a hoot!
Do you see it? Obviously, I misquoted the same saying, twice. But beyond that, discretion is a mind

thing. It is discretion, too, that is making a fool of the mind, here. OMG. It is a foolish ‘discretion’ that cut off my Light friends. Do you see how delightful is the play of what I call God’s sense of humor? How wide ranging it can be? I’m telling you, God is a hoot! And so subtle, and loving, and just purely delightful. No kiddin. It’s EVERYwhere. Oh, how delightfully many ways we can screw up! “Delightfully?!” I ‘hear’ someone ‘say.’ Sure! You bet!! Far rather do I prefer to screw up, than to just sail on in ignorance. When I “screw-up,” I am far more likely to receive correction, to later gain understanding. Do you see?

Besides, “I” didn’t screw-up. That was, rather, just the mind

that goofed. It made a mental mistake. That is nothing...for the mind couldn’t produce a real Truth if you paid it. Not possible.
So, let’s look,yet again, and what do we see? The mind was used by Higher Self, to make a fool of itself, for good reason. To alert me. To communicate with me. To show me it was, indeed, quite likely

it was my Light Being friends who had spoken. To tell me it was my fear and rudeness that cut them off. Finally, to encourage me to reopen communications. Please see this; it’s really cool, and it’s there to be seen. (Heart is good at seeing these things, so drop down ;)
I am also and ever amazed, too, by the vast variety of ways Higher Self communicates. I look back with pity, now, on the me that was; the one with four college degrees, so very convinced that mind was

the way to God, to Source.
Ha! I would have gone to the grave (in an inaccurate manner of speaking, that is ;), waiting to make that particular connection (to God). Heck, no doubt I went to many graves awaiting that! :-D, and rofl,


(rolling on floor, laughing.)
Yes, thus my fond fetish to observe supposed

typos; there is no such thing. Everything, literally EVERYthing, is Source talking. We, my friends, are just blind, dumb, and deaf...until we awaken, of course. That’s when we get to discover the good news: we were NEVER, no never alone--no, not for an instant. Ain’t happenin. Nope. Nada. None of that. He he, and ho ho ho. God, ain’t life grand?!
Oh, and PS. Believe it or not, a little thought will confess that we were intended to be blind, dumb, and stupid, too. Ponder that! ;-)

* You may want to read the original, called Oneness Experienced, first. Then this one will become clear. The blue text is what was added to that one to create this one, which amounts to another complete journal, on its own.


10:56 AM, 2/20 2nd 11:23 am, 2/20 3rd -


7:31 pm, 2/20 4th -



For Scribd: pain disabled Light Beings spiritual humor joke foolish misquote wisdom valor discretion pushy screw-up mind communicate proof silence laughing Love wisdom For YouTube: journal spirituality time dissolving pain disabled understanding challenges energy intuition isolated "Light Beings" "Higher Self" words belief "Sirian High Council" Sirius challenged communicate wisdom valor prayer discretion Source God Spirit typo sensing nothing proof alone "Prime Creator" beingness Earth crystal "be the crystal"

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