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VOTE #71

CO MP LI M ENTARY

NOVEMBER 2015, VOL. 13 ISSUE 10

SEE PAGE 24

IF YOU HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHO TOMMY MARTINEZ WOULD ENDORSE IN THE ELECTION FOR HIS REPLACEMENT:

WONDER NO MORE! TOMMY MARTINEZ ENDORSES

THE TRUTH!

Fellow Citizens of Ascension Parish, In these last days of my career in public office, there have been numerous falsehoods, half truths and outright lies told by a candidate about my record as Ascension Parish President. I have chosen not to endorse any candidate for Parish President because setting the record straight is far more important to me.

INSTEAD OF A CANDIDATE, I HAVE CHOSEN TO ENDORSE THE TRUTH!

*One candidate for Parish President's "Plan" calls for secondary access from Edenborne to relieve traffic on St. Landry and Hwy. 30

TRUTH: DONE

Construction

scheduled to begin 1st quarter 2016

*His "Plan" calls for a plan and protocol for turning on drainage pumps

TRUTH: DONE

Been in place

*This candidate's "Plan" calls for comprehensive evaluation of Animal Shelter, training and certification, and increase pet adoptions

TRUTH: DONE

with CARA to take it over. Also, this candidate's "Plan" calls for a cooperative

endeavor agreement with LSU Vet.

Signed agreement

TRUTH: DONE

years/c'mon man!

Been in place for

*The candidate's "Plan" calls for economic development

TRUTH: DONE

DONE

DONE!

Ascension Parish leads the state in economic investment and growth;

Ascension Economic Development Corp. and the Ascension Tourist Commission (and others) are continuing a tremendous economic momentum. Let's not lose this energy and momentum!

*This candidate claims parish workers haven't gotten a raise in 10 years.

TRUTH: Minimum pay scale for parish workers raised above minimum wage ($10.00 an hour now) and raises given every year FOR LAST 10 YEARS. If you're going to tell a lie, you should tell one that can't be proven, Mr. Candidate!

*This candidate's "Plan" says do more on recreation.

TRUTH: WE ARE

always more can be done, but my Administration has built 2 waterparks at Oak Grove and 1 in Donaldsonville, built new park at Hillaryville, new lights being installed throughout parish in parks, 7 new soccer fields being built, built and maintain a park for OUR VETERANS, purchased Lamar Dixon and Donaldsonville Fair Grounds and provided maintenance employees for all our parish parks.

DONE

*This candidate claims "transparency" is needed

TRUTH: DONE

TRANSPARENCY

HAS ALWAYS BEEN CLEAR

documents are public record financial transactions including contracts and budget are given to Council and/or committee and all are open to public. All contracts over $50,000 are bid out even though not required by law

all parish

*This candidate claims he will "end wasteful spending"

TRUTH: CHECK YOUR FACTS

BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH Ascension Parish Financial Office earned the prestigious FINANCIAL STATEMENT AWARD the past 5 years and the ANNU- AL BUDGET AWARD the past 4 years these awards granted by GFOA

PLUS

BEST FINANCIAL SHAPE IT HAS EVER BEEN ACCORDING TO PARISH AUDITORS!!!!

ASCENSION PARISH IS IN THE

*This candidate WANTS TO RAID OUR PARISH SURPLUS

TRUTH: NO WAY!!!! The parish "rainy day fund" must stay in place. Obviously, this candidate does no know what a hurricane can do to a parish. Check out Livingston Parish!

*This candidate wants to build a levee around Astroland and Pelican

TRUTH: DONE

Waiting on the

permit to build a ring levee around

this area

*Claims we need to work with neighboring parishes to insure flood waters are not pushed on them

TRUTH: DONE

Already have a

task force in place to do just this. Why didn't the candidate even ask? Roads: The candidate questioned where the $12.5 million went and states that overlay projects are only done in election year.

FACT: Road projects have been ongo- ing my last 7.5 years in office. More money has been spent on road projects, road improvements, and turn lanes during my last two terms ($87.8 million) than in the history

of the parish.

Check the history and check the FACTS! There are numerous other falsehoods, half truths and lies this candidate continues to say to our people. Frankly, so many I can't address them all. Perhaps it's due to lack of experience- not knowing what you are talking about-

or perhaps it's just politics. Either way,

I want to set the record straight.

During my career, I've spent countless hours and days working to improve our parish. It has been an honor! I can't thank you enough for the opportunity to make a difference.

This is my last few days in public office.

I will never serve again. I am both sad and honored The Biblical admonition, if I can be

allowed to paraphrase, sums it up best:

I have run my race, fought the good fight, and did my best.

It has been my honor to have served you and my responsibility to leave you with the truth.

you and my responsibility to leave you with the truth. Thank you, Tommy Martinez Ascension Parish

Thank you,

Tommy Martinez

Ascension Parish President

Paid for by Tommy Martinez Campaign

Publisher / Editor Mike Strong Sales Manager Dottie Godberry Staff Photographer Jimmy Dunkley

Contributing Writers Bill Delaune Linda Melancon Calvin Bessonett

Bully

Goosie Guice Orhan McMillan Kellie Seymour Tanya Stilley Roland Doucet Jimmy Dunkley

For Advertising Information Please call:

225-622-1324

E-Mail Comments to Stronggraphics1@cox.net www.ascensionmagazine.net

Note: Features in this publication labeled “advertorial” are paid for editorials. All Rights Reserved. Opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher, editor or staff of Ascension Magazine

of the publisher, editor or staff of Ascension Magazine 18386 Little Prairie Rd. Prairieville, LA 70769

18386 Little Prairie Rd. Prairieville, LA 70769

Magazine 18386 Little Prairie Rd. Prairieville, LA 70769 Table of Contents COMMUNITY SUPPORT 4 MIREWORKS 10

Table of Contents

COMMUNITY SUPPORT

4

MIREWORKS

10

SWEET EYES W/ TANYA

12

KENNY MATASSA

24

JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE

29

BILL DELAUNE

30

THOUGHTS FROM BULLY

34

EA STA RYDER CUP GOLF

35

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THANK YOU Ascension Parish for all your work on the 2015 Shout Out Committee. We faced many obstacles this year, and many even doubted we could pull it off, but each and every one of you worked tirelessly over the past couple months to ensure the success of the 2015 Shout Out Event.

With this year’s totals, of $16,000.00 per school, that now puts the committee at $112,000.00 – PER SCHOOL over the last eight years. We are definitely blessed to continue to live in a community where we can all come together to work for the betterment of both schools and all the students that

attend both East Ascension and St. Amant High Schools. Each and every one of you

attend both East Ascension and St. Amant High Schools.

Each and every one of you are to be commended for what you have accomplished on this committee. Without the support from the Shout Out Committee, there are many things that would not be afforded to our students at both of these schools.

The amount of money given

there are many things that would not be afforded to our students at both of these
there are many things that would not be afforded to our students at both of these

5

there are many things that would not be afforded to our students at both of these
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It is such a great feeling to know that there are so many that support the efforts being made for

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these two Ascension Parish schools. Again, a sincere thank you for your time, dedication, and
these two Ascension Parish schools. Again, a sincere thank you for your time, dedication, and
these two Ascension Parish schools. Again, a sincere thank you for your time, dedication, and

these two Ascension Parish schools.

Again, a sincere thank you for your time, dedication, and commitment that you all have given for the benefit of these schools.

2015 Competition saw the Gators win the Freshman Game, the JV Game, the Golf Tournament, the Shout Out Event and the collection of the can goods event. East Ascension won the comple- tion of games that took place that week with both student bodies and the Varsity Friday Football Game on

won the comple- tion of games that took place that week with both student bodies and
won the comple- tion of games that took place that week with both student bodies and
won the comple- tion of games that took place that week with both student bodies and
won the comple- tion of games that took place that week with both student bodies and
won the comple- tion of games that took place that week with both student bodies and

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Burnside. “Two Communities Becoming One In Supporting Our Youth” The Solid Choice in Ascension Parish

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“Two Communities Becoming One In Supporting Our Youth”

“Two Communities Becoming One In Supporting Our Youth” The Solid Choice in Ascension Parish Baton Rouge
“Two Communities Becoming One In Supporting Our Youth” The Solid Choice in Ascension Parish Baton Rouge
“Two Communities Becoming One In Supporting Our Youth” The Solid Choice in Ascension Parish Baton Rouge
“Two Communities Becoming One In Supporting Our Youth” The Solid Choice in Ascension Parish Baton Rouge
“Two Communities Becoming One In Supporting Our Youth” The Solid Choice in Ascension Parish Baton Rouge
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10

Create a Wardrobe of Gold Jewelry with Layne Gautreau It takes time and thought to

Create a Wardrobe of Gold Jewelry

with Layne Gautreau

It takes time and thought to assemble a jewelry wardrobe that is just right for you. First take stock of your features and decide

right for you. First take stock of your features and decide what to play up and

what to play up and what to minimize. Analyze your facial shape, body shape and size, coloring, and the type of clothes you wear. Decide what your needs are and in what order of importance, then accumulate those items through the years.

The finest gold jewelry is made of 18 karat or 14 karat gold, and a wide choice of beautiful finishes is available for you to choose from.

Earrings - These are the most noticed piece of personal jewelry. The size and shape of an earring depends on your face and earlobe. When buying earrings, always shake your head to see if they fit properly. And try both earrings on, since no two ears are alike. Start with a pair of plain gold earrings for daily wear and add others later.

Rings - Engagement and wedding rings are generally the first rings worn by women. But it’s always nice to have a fashionable gold ring set with diamonds or colored gems to wear for daytime or evening wear.

Bracelets - The classic gold bangle should be your first choice. It’s a wearable, versatile style that shows quiet good taste and can be com- bined with bangle styles in various widths or bangles set with colored faceted gems.

Birthstones

November - Topaz & Citrine In ancient times, Topaz in its purest, colorless state was sometimes mistaken for diamond. Today iconic for its yellow and golden colors having an unmistak- able color characteristic in Imperial Topaz of a deep yellow almost orange, tinged with gold.

Topaz of a deep yellow almost orange, tinged with gold. Citrine is the alternate November birthstone.

Citrine is the alternate November birthstone. The description of citrine is contained in its name from the French word, citron, meaning lemon. Citrines actually cover a wider range of yellows than do most lemons, including rich orangey yellows. Citrines are greatly esteemed for their warm, earthy color and vivacious sparkle.

Jewelry Doctor

Gold Jewelry - How to Keep Gold Jewelry Shiny Bright

Gold is one of the noble metals, and high karat gold (14K and

18K) usually needs little care since

it resists both oxidation and

corrosion. But some gold jewelry with a lower number of karats can discolor because of the higher per-

centage of base metals in the alloy.

A bath of warm soapy water will

easily remove any discoloration.

of warm soapy water will easily remove any discoloration. Alcohol dissolves tough dirt, such as coatings

Alcohol dissolves tough dirt, such

as coatings of makeup or grease,

which can be brushed away with a soft toothbrush or eyebrow brush. Do not use ammonia, which turns solder joints dark or toothpaste or any other abrasive because it will scratch jewelry metals.

Give jewelry a final warm water rinse and polish with a jewelers polishing cloth. Don’t forget to rinse over a basin or bowl, never over an open sink, where jewelry can go down the drain!

cloth. Don’t forget to rinse over a basin or bowl, never over an open sink, where

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Happy Thanksgiving Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! It’s that time of year where pumpkin spice is plentiful,

Happy

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! It’s that time of year where pumpkin

spice is plentiful, stores are stocking Christmas décor and you’re jotting your to do list for the next two months. This time of year can get super hectic, so I’ve got some reminders to keep the peace this Thanksgiving.

got some reminders to keep the peace this Thanksgiving. Minimal Menu I’m as guilty as anyone.

Minimal Menu

I’m as guilty as anyone. I love cooking and sometimes my Thanksgiving menu can get out of control. “Just one more side dish won’t be a big deal to cook.” I‘ve told myself in years past, but then all those casseroles add up. I’ve found myself on Thanksgiving morning feeling overwhelmed about all the things I needed to get done.

So, keep it simple. Don’t be afraid to pick up your favorite sides from local restaurants or grocery stores. (I have a friend that lives for Picadilly’s carrot soufflé!) Just stick with a main dish and a couple of EASY side dishes. Paula Deen’s corn casserole is one of my favorites. (Recipe included) The recipe is very easy and super delicious.

Also, if you have company coming to enjoy the feast, ask everyone to bring a dish, drinks, or even napkins or supplies needed for the day.

Simple Schedule

I am the child of a broken home, so I always had many stops during the holidays. Now, I really enjoy staying home and asking family and friends stop by for a visit or to eat. If you do travel, keep it to two stops max. There’s nothing worse than spending most of your holiday on the road!

Give Thanks

Most importantly, be sure to pause and be thankful for all that you have. Show those in your life how much they mean to you. If you can’t be with them, then reach out and let them know they are loved.

Corn Casserole Courtesy of Food Network and Paula Deen

Serves 6 to 8

Ingredients:

1 – 15 oz whole kernel corn

1 - 14 oz cream corn

1 - Package Jiffy corn muffin mix

1 cup sour cream ½ stick melted butter 1 to 1 ½ cups shredded cheddar

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl, mix 2 types of corn, sour cream, and melted butter. Pour into 9 x 13 greased casserole dish. Bake for 45 minutes or until golden brown. Enjoy!

cream, and melted butter. Pour into 9 x 13 greased casserole dish. Bake for 45 minutes

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Non-Invasive Skin Care & Laser Treatments: We have thorough, advanced treatments that are intended to actively correct and reduce the appearance of fine lines and brown spots, treat acne and sculpt the body. Our trained medical staff can perform injections such as Botox or fillers, laser tattoo removal, chemical peels, laser hair removal, and more. These procedures are more aggressive than the treatments generally provided by traditional spas. In addition, they require licensure, certification, and specialized training.

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Jambalaya Festival Association Christmas Parade Quickly Approaches December 13th at 2pm The 2015 JFA Christmas
Jambalaya
Festival Association
Christmas Parade Quickly
Approaches
December 13th at 2pm
The 2015 JFA Christmas Parade with the theme,
“A Cajun Christmas”, will take place Sunday,
December 13th at 2pm. The parade will take
place along Burnside Avenue in Gonzales.
JFA President, Wally Taillon, along with Parade
Committee Members are excited to announce the
Grand Marshal for the 2015 Christmas Parade will
be City of Gonzales Mayor, Barney Arceneaux.
The Christmas Parade Committee would like to
stress the final date to turn in applications will on
December 1st, 2015. Any late applications will
require the addition of a late fee.
Parade celebrations will showcase a wide variety of
decorated floats featuring several Parish and City
dignitaries, Christmas music, local elementary and
high school bands, dance teams, and the 2015
Jambalaya Queens.
If you’d like to be a part of this growing parade
tradition, downloadable forms are now available
on the Jambalaya Festival Website,
www.jambalayafestival.org.
Please visit the website for more information and
direct any questions to
jamfestassociation@gmail.com.

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Place Big Orders in Advance. We Deliver 10 plates or more. We accept cash donations.
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in Advance.
We Deliver 10 plates
or more.
We accept
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Tax deductible.
Tax I.D. #46-4088054
HHeellpp UUss FFeeeedd tthhee NNeeeeddyy
During the Holidays
• Proceeds go to area food banks and needy families.
• We will accept cash donations to a charity of the giver's choice and distribute the money as requested.
• Write a check to a family or charity of your choice and we will deliver the donation on your behalf.
December 5th, 2015
Jambalaya and white beans
will be served for
$10 a plate from 11am till.
Come out and support a very worthy cause!
Location - Gonzales Country Club
Address - 12042 West Main Street
Gonzales, LA 70737
I need your help. We Feed the Needy for
Christmas each year. I need each of my
friends and supporters to ask 1 new
person or business to help the cause.
Thomas “BAMA” Aldridge
TO HELP NEEDY FAMILIES CONTACT: BAMA 241-0804
• RANDALL 270-4443 • WAYNE 715-3771

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Helping People Get Home Safe Uber. The app that has taken the world by storm

Helping People Get Home Safe

Uber. The app that has taken the world by storm has found its way into music, movies, and newsbroadcasts. What is Uber? Uber is the ride sharing app that allows people to order a "personal driver" within minutes. You simply open the app, request a ride where you are located, and confirm. That's it, and within minutes a driver will pull up and pick you up. Before you confirm your request, you can estimate what your fare will be and users will discover that rates

are often cheaper than a taxi. Local users can choose between UberX, UberXL, and Uber SELECT. Uber X is a four door car that can seat up to four passengers. Uber XL can seat up to 7 passengers, and Uber Select are luxury vehicles. Uber is available all over the world. Baton Rouge and New Orleans are no exception to this availability, but what you may not have realized is that Uber is available in Ascension Parish. Opening the app you will often find drivers available and

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residents of Prairieville can often get an UberX. Many more users can find vehicles available simply by switching to Uber XL or SELECT as the Uber app will increase the radius for these vehicles. Popular on LSU campus and local bars, Uber is seen as a greater alternative to driving home and much cheaper than the consequences after having a night on the town. However, to the airport, work, the dentist, or to simply to go out and enjoy a drink with their meal are some of the many reasons why people use Uber.

Uber drivers gravitate to where they are most needed, so as more people in Ascension use Uber, the more Uber drivers will become available in Ascension. The greatest availability in Ascension are usually Sunday nights as many people take an Uber down Airline hwy and into Gonzales for a night out, while LSU home games attract the Uber drivers to campus and make evening availability limited in Ascension. However, the more Uber is utilized in Ascension, the more available Uber becomes.

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Developing Your Strategy: Overall Formula by Orhan Mc Millan dezinsINTERACTIVE
Developing
Your Strategy:
Overall Formula
by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE

Developing your business strategy… it’s probably a concept that makes your head spin. Maybe you have recently come to conclusion that your business idea is all over the place.Well, do not be afraid.

In this first installment of “DevelopingYour Strategy,” we will discuss the importance of overall strategy development for your business.

Now, the first thing you have to understand is that a good business strategy is hard to develop.

Oftentimes, strategy efforts are rushed and that makes strategies flawed from the beginning. Therefore, we have formulated several steps you can follow to execute a solidified business strategy.

Elevator Pitch

What’s an elevator pitch you ask? Simply stated, it is a concise description of your business. It’s the short speech you or your employees can give to promote your company quickly.This should be updated as often as annually.

Mission Statement

Each company should have a mission statement…and believe it or not, yours is no different. For many internal decisions, your mission statement will help employees make choices in-line with helping the company reach its mission.

SWOT

In addition, you should also include a SWOT analysis in your strategic plan.These are the

strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of your business. A SWOT will help you discover your own strengths you must develop to improve your company. Completing this analysis will also help you best achieve your growth goals.

Goals

This is a critical component of your strategy development. Defining and achieving goals are what makes companies successful.

First, determine your 5-year or long-term goals. Next, identify what you want to achieve within the next year.

Work backwards again two or three more times to figure out what you want to do in the next quarter and the next month.

Key Performance Indicators Key Performance Indicators are also known as KPIs.These are metrics companies use to measure how it is performing.

At dezinsINTERACTIVE, we measure our success on a monthly basis. For example, we determine how many websites we launched and how many design comps were approved. Other KPIs may be website visitors, contracts signed or total sales.

ResearchYour

Industry

You also need to do some research about your industry. Make sure your market size is growing.This may identify new growth opportunities as well.

AnalyzeYour

Competition

Find out who your competitors are.Take time to list their strengths and weaknesses. Use these lists to determine where you stand above and find ways to gain more advantages.

Marketing Plan

Now, how are you going to promote your business?You need a marketing plan! This plan should include how you wili get prospective customers and keep them coming back.

Team

Once your plan is defined, you need individuals to help you carry out your strategy. In the team section, you should list current employees.You should also identify the types of people you should hire to achieve your goals.

Operations Plan

This portion of your strategy plan will help bring your goals and opportunities to fruition. It is where you organize individual projects and how they will be completed.A Gantt chart may be helpful in doing this section.

Executive Summary

Finally, your executive summary should be done last.This portion summarizes the other sections of your strategic plan.

It is important, because it will help employees, investors and advisors understand and utilize your plan.

We hope these steps will help you begin to develop your business strategy. Stay tuned for next month’s strategy series article.

steps will help you begin to develop your business strategy. Stay tuned for next month’s strategy

19

Diet and Oral health.

By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD

Your body is like a complex machine. The foods you choose as fuel and how often you “fill up” affect your general health and that of your teeth and gums. Many dentists are concerned that their patients are consuming record numbers of sugar-filled sodas, sweetened fruit drinks, and non-nutritious snacks that affect their teeth. These items generally have little if any nutritional value and over time they can take a toll on teeth. Eating patterns and food choices among children and teens are important factors that affect how quickly youngsters may develop tooth decay. When bacteria (plaque) come into contact with sugar in the mouth, acid is produced, which attacks the teeth for 20 minutes or more. This can eventually result in tooth decay. Not sure you're getting the nutrients, vita- mins and minerals needed by your body (and your teeth and gums)? Check out the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Web site. The USDA oversees the nutritional health of the nation. The agency's dietary recommendations are designed to pro- mote optimal health and to prevent obesi- ty-related diseases including cardiovascular disease, Type 2 diabetes and cancers. The government's recommendations recognize that people have different dietary needs at various stages of life. They offer guidance for children and adults based on their levels of physical activity. Your physician or a registered dietician can also provide suggestions for your daily food intake. Foods that contain sugars of any kind can contribute to tooth decay. Almost all foods, including milk or vegetables, have some type of sugar. However, they should- n't be removed from our diets because many of them contain important nutri- ents. And they add pleasure to eating. To help control the amount of sugar you con- sume, read food labels and choose foods and beverages that are low in added sug- ars. Added sugars often are present in soft

drinks, candy, cookies and pastries. If your diet lacks certain nutrients, it may be more difficult for tissues in your mouth to resist infection. This may contribute to periodontal (gum) disease, a major cause of tooth loss in adults. Although poor nutrition does not cause periodontal dis- ease directly, many researchers believe that the disease progresses faster and could be more severe in people with nutrient-poor diets

What can you do?

• Maintain a healthy diet.

• Make sure water is readily available.

• Limit the number of between-meal

Some foods that you would least expect contain sugars. Some examples are fruits, milk, bread, cereals and even vegetables. The key to choosing foods wisely is not to avoid these foods, but to think before you eat. Not only what you eat but when you eat makes a big difference in your dental health. Eat a balanced diet and limit between-meal snacks. If you are on a special diet, keep your physician's advice in mind when choosing foods. For good dental health, keep these tips in mind when choosing your meals and snacks.

What are tips for better dental health?

snacks. When you must snack, choose nutritious foods that are low in sugar.

1.

To get a balanced diet, eat a variety of

Brush thoroughly twice a day with a flu-

foods. Choose foods from each of the five

breads, cereals and other grain products

oride toothpaste that has the American Dental Association's Seal of Acceptance.

major food groups:

Floss or use another kind of interdental

fruits

cleaner daily to remove plaque (a thin film

vegetables

of bacteria) from under the gums and

meat, poultry and fish

between teeth.

milk, cheese and yogurt

Schedule regular dental visits for check-

every item you eat and drink, including

Keep a food diary for a week. Record

2.

ups and cleanings.

Limit the number of snacks that you

eat. Each time you eat food that contains

sugars, the teeth are attacked by acids for 20 minutes or more.

hard candies or chewing gum that con-

3.

If you do snack, choose nutritious

tains sugar. Compare the diary to the food Pyramid recommendations.

foods, such as cheese, raw vegetables, plain yogurt, or a piece of fruit.

How does the food you eat cause tooth decay?

When you eat, food passes through your mouth. Here it meets the germs, or bacte- ria, that live in your mouth. You may have heard your dentist talk about plaque. Plaque is a sticky film of bacteria. These bacteria love sugars found in many foods. When you don't clean your teeth after eating, plaque bacteria use the sugar to produce acids that can destroy the hard surface of the tooth, called enam- el. After a while, tooth decay occurs. The more often you eat and the longer foods are in your mouth, the more damage occurs.

How do I choose foods wisely?

4. Foods that are eaten as part of a meal

cause less harm. More saliva is released during a meal, which helps wash foods from the mouth and helps lessen the effects of acids.

5. Brush twice a day with a fluoride tooth-

paste that has the American Dental Association Seal of Acceptance.

6. Clean between your teeth daily with

floss or interdental cleaners.

7. Visit your dentist regularly. Your dentist

can help prevent problems from occurring and catch those that do occur while they are easy to treat.

What's the concern with selling soft drinks in schools via pouring rights arrangements?

To the best of the Association's knowl- edge, pouring rights contracts inevitably

include the promotion of sugar containing products as well as other non-nutritious soft drink products. In addition to a sin- gular brand endorsement, it has been widely reported that these arrangements oblige schools to allow pervasive market- ing to children and include minimum sales incentives that can influence children's consumption patterns.

Why is this coming up now?

Dentists are aware of reports that since 1998 over 300 school districts in 32 states have entered into pouring rights contracts, some contracts lasting 10 years - longer than the term of most school board mem- bers. The Association has for many years opposed targeting children in the promo- tion and advertisement of foods low in nutritional value and high in cariogenic carbohydrates. Also, the Association encourages its state and local dental soci- eties to work with school officials to ensure that school food services, including vending services and school stores, provide nutritious food selections.

What can kids drink?

Choose beverages that hydrate and con- tribute to good nutrition. Drinking 8-12 cups of water a day is important and con- suming optimally fluoridated water can help prevent tooth decay. A resource list of nutritious foods and beverages that could be sold in schools was developed by the California Center for Public Health Advocacy and may be found by clicking here. The California Center for Public Health Advocacy resource list recom- mends beverages that may be sold in schools including, beverages that contain at least 50% fruit juice with no added sweeteners, water, low fat milk and non-fat milk. This resource list was used to devel- op part of the 2001 California law, which establishes nutritional requirements for foods and beverages sold and served to children during breaks and through vend- ing machines.

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20

With Many Thanks to the Dutchtown and Geismar Community for allowing us to be Your
With Many Thanks to the Dutchtown and Geismar
Community for allowing us to be Your Community
Physical Therapy Provider for over 8 years.
AND OUR COMMITMENT TO THE
DUTCHTOWN COMMUNITY REMAINS
THE SAME
• Provide a combination of quality, convenience and experience for
physical therapy services.
• Trusted provider for physical therapy services by physicians and
patients for over eight years.
• Dedicated staff that patients can rely on to be there, every visit,
every step of the way.
• Accepting most insurances for patients.
• Giving back to the community through academic and sports
sponsorships for area schools.
• Continuing to provide the community with the highest level of care
in a state of the art facility.
WE LOOK FORWARD TO CONTINUING TO GROW WITH
THE DUTCHTOWN COMMUNITY IN THE COMING YEAR
IN A NEW FACILITY ON HIGHWAY 73.
Watch for more details about the
Grand Opening in December issue
of Ascension Magazine.
NEW FACILITY COMING JANUARY 2016
Thank You Dutchtown
Stephen Jackson, PT, DPT
Your Community Physical Therapy Provider
36501 Mission Street, Suite A Prairieville, Louisiana 70769
225.744-3631 • Fax 225.744.3647

21

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS Taking Care to Care Pablo Casals, a world renown cellist, once said, “I

Taking Care to Care

Pablo Casals, a world renown cellist, once said, “I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.” As an Elder Law attorney, I often write or speak about subjects that include the word ‘care’ – such as long-term care planning, Medicare, family caregivers, and care planning for special needs children. One of the most rewarding things I do is assisting families in securing needed care for their loved ones. It’s always heartbreaking, though, to see friends and family members feel helpless when loved ones are taken advantage of by those purporting to care for them. That’s why, in honor of

By Linda Melancon

November being National Alzheimer’s Disease Month, National Family Caregivers Month, National Home Care and Hospice Month, and National Long-Term Care Awareness Month, I want to share two often-overlooked resources available to those who are seeking the best quality of care for their loved ones. Have you ever heard of an ombudsman? If your answer is no, you’re not alone. Even many who have heard of them don’t fully understand their role. I recently met with a network of professional elder care providers from across the greater Baton Rouge area to hear from a local ombudsman. The room was packed as we gathered to listen to her speak about her role. Some of the attending professionals were hearing this information for the first time even though they work with the elderly every day. ‘Ombudsman’ is a Swedish word that means “citizen representative.” According to the Louisiana Governor’s Office of Elderly Affairs (GOEA), ombudsmen work with residents, their families, community organizations, and other interested parties to address concerns that affect the lives of residents at long-term care facilities. Through the GOEA,

Louisiana has a state ombudsman, regional ombudsmen, and at least one ombudsman in each parish who is responsible for visiting long-term care facilities. Louisiana law forbids any caregiver at any facility to interfere with an ombudsman’s free access to speak with patients or protect their confidentiality. While ombudsmen do not directly prosecute or solve cases of abuse or neglect, they provide a voice for patients and make sure their concerns – ranging from missing laundry to physical harm or asset exploitation – are addressed. Ombudsmen are trained to recognize and speak on behalf of resident’s rights, which are often overlooked or violated by residents’ own family members or employed caregivers. You can call toll free at 1-866-632-0922, locally at 225-342-7100, or visit www.goea.louisiana.gov to learn more about the ombudsman program and how you can help identify and respond to elder abuse. Individuals should also be aware that a recent Louisiana law now allows family members or other interested parties to bring a civil lawsuit against any agent under a Power of Attorney (POA) who may be exploiting a person’s assets rather than utilizing those assets for the person’s needs. While prior law already directed a mandatary (the agent named in an individual’s POA) to provide any information or an account of actions as

requested by the principal (the individual who named the mandatary to act on his or her behalf), it didn’t provide for circumstances in which the principal could not request an accounting because they were mentally or physically unable to do so. Act 356 of the 2014 Louisiana Legislature makes provisions for this while also protecting against frivolous lawsuits. Furthermore, concerned third parties now have another course of action beyond simply notifying Elderly Protective Services when they suspect cases of exploitation - petitioning the court under Act 356 to keep a mandatary from further expending any of the principal’s assets until an investigation is complete. I am grateful to work alongside numerous professionals in my area who are passionate about providing quality of care to their clients. As I regularly recom- mend, individuals planning for long-term care should consult with qualified elder law and healthcare professionals to ensure that their best interests are fully and legally provided for. Ombudsmen and Act 356 are two additional resources available to assist in the care of those we hold dear.

Mrs. Melancon has engaged in the practice of law in Louisiana for the past 17 years. The pri- mary focus of her practice is estate planning, special needs planning, elder law and probate. She is also accredited by the VA to give advice regarding veterans’ benefits. For more infor- mation, please contact her at 225-744-0027. You may also visit her website at www.LegacyCenterLa.com

For more infor- mation, please contact her at 225-744-0027. You may also visit her website at

22

Community Halloween Night Celebration At St. Amant Volunteer Fire Department

Night Celebration At St. Amant Volunteer Fire Department St. Amant – It was all smiles for

St. Amant – It was all smiles for the St. Amant community children, at the “Safe Halloween” gathering at the St. Amant Volunteer Fire Department, stated Chief Officer James E. LeBlanc.

Fire Department, stated Chief Officer James E. LeBlanc. Night around 5:30 PM. Over 200 children attended

Night around 5:30 PM. Over 200 children attended the Annual Event. The St. Amant Community children received fire prevention hand outs, hot dogs, hamburgers, and bags of candy. The Annual Event

hot dogs, hamburgers, and bags of candy. The Annual Event which ran from 6PM to 8PM

which ran from 6PM to 8PM provided a safe Halloween experience for our area chil- dren, stated LeBlanc.

Children were playing games, taking fire truck tours and filling their bags with candy. The St. Amant Volunteer Firefighters reminded the children to stay alert when walking, reminded them to watch for vehicles and to wear light colored, flame retardant cos- tumes.

www.stamantfire.com

Like us on face book:

St. Amant Volunteer Fire Department

According to St. Amant Fire Department Ladies Auxiliary President Sherri Jenkins, St. Amant families started gather- ing at the fire station Friday

families started gather- ing at the fire station Friday 23 For more than 19 years, we

23

For more than 19 years, we have developed, owned and managed senior housing communities throughout
For more than 19 years, we have developed, owned and
managed senior housing communities throughout
Louisiana and Georgia that provide alternative living
arrangements for seniors combining wellness, independence
and personal care in a warm dignified setting with over
100 years of personal and professional experience.
“COME JOIN OUR AZALEA FAMILY AND LET
US BE YOUR NEW HOME AWAY FROM HOME!”
2305 S. Purpera Avenue, Gonzales, LA 70737 • 225.644.1028
CLEARLY THE LEADER IN LIFE EXPERIENCE! • 44 years married to Selma Guillot Matassa, Board

CLEARLY THE LEADER IN LIFE EXPERIENCE!

• 44 years married to Selma Guillot Matassa,

Board

• Member of Founding Committee that started St. John’s Elementary School

• Member and past president, St. Joseph’s Society

• Member of Knights of Columbus (4th

Degree) and Mayor’s Prayer Breakfast

CLEARLY THE PREPARED CANDIDATE FOR THE BIG JOB OF PARISH PRESIDENT

• 20 years experience in private

3 children and 8 grandchildren

business

clearly,

the leader in business

Member of Ministries, St. Theresa Catholic

experience

Church and Past President of St. Theresa School

experience Church and Past President of St. Theresa School • 19 years on Gonzales City Council

• 19 years on Gonzales City Council

• 22 years, Director of Gonzales Health

Department and Supervisor of Utilities,

Parish of Ascension

CLEARLY THE PERFORMANCE CANDIDATE FOR THE TOUGH JOB OF PARISH PRESIDENT

• Helped CUT property TAXES

candidate has never cut taxes!

• Helped INCREASE fire rating and CUT fire

insurance costs

who has accomplished this.

• Helped improve streets and roads in Gonzales

(Kenny’s ready to do the same for our parish.)

• Helping to lead innovative effort to 4 LANE HIGHWAY ON HWY. 941 (LOOSEMORE ROAD)

TO INTERSTATE

approach to our traffic problems.)

the other

Kenny

is the only candidate

(Kenny

is innovative in his

Kenny is the only candidate (Kenny is innovative in his KENNY MATASSA HAS A REALISTIC PLAN,

KENNY MATASSA HAS A REALISTIC PLAN, NOT A POLITICAL PROMISE!

• ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT AND JOBS

Kenny will increase our efforts even more, including investment in Donaldsonville to grow the economy there too. Kenny has been part of

the efforts that have made Ascension Parish the leading economic investment center in all of Louisiana.

• NO NEW TAXES, MORE NEW JOBS. Kenny’s

economic development efforts will lead to new taxpayers, NOT NEW AND HIGHER TAXES.

• WORKING HARD TO IMPROVE TRAFFIC

PROBLEMS. Kenny knows this is the HIGHEST

PRIORITY of Ascension Parish Government. No politics, no empty promises, but hard work, sound planning,

PRIORITY of Ascension Parish Government. No politics, no empty promises, but hard work, sound planning, and innovation.

Kenny is the ONLY candidate in this general election who will win new federal funding through the SAFE ROADS TO SCHOOLS federal grant.

Kenny is the ONLY candidate who has been working with state and federal officials on t raffic projects and improvements.

RECREATION FOR OUR CHILDREN.

Kenny has been deeply involved in the building of numerous soccer fields, improved lighting at parks, water parks, and numerous other

improved lighting at parks, water parks, and numerous other VOTE #71 recreational improvements. As a father,
VOTE #71
VOTE #71

recreational improvements. As a father, Kenny will not stop until our children have recreational opportunities.

TIGHTEN UP BUDGET AND KEEP PARISH GOVERNMENT TRANSPARENT.

Ascension Parish has a “rainy day” surplus of

$25 million dollars

ONLY CANDIDATE COMMITTED TO PROTECTING THIS RAINY DAY FUND.

KENNY

IS THE

PROMOTE OUR TRADITIONAL VALUES.

As his life has shown, Kenny is Pro God, Pro Life, Pro Second Amendment, pro business and pro family.

JOIN THE KENNY MATASSA CAMPAIGN

kennymatassa.com • 644-VOTE (8683)

APSO Motors Division Places in Annual Competition APSO Motors Division placed in two categories this
APSO Motors Division Places in Annual Competition APSO Motors Division placed in two categories this

APSO Motors Division Places in Annual Competition

APSO Motors Division placed in two categories this past week in the Gulf Coast Police Motorcycle Skills com- petition held at Lamar Dixon Expo Center in Gonzales. Ascension Parish Sheriff’s Office Motorcycle Division placed fourth place in the overall team category and fifth place in the team slow ride. The 17th annual Gulf Coast Police Motorcycle Skills competition hosted by ten area agencies welcomed 28 different law enforcement agencies from across the world and 158 riders. Some riders traveled from Canada, Colorado, Virginia, and California to participate.

Two Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officers, Ben Lecuyer and Steph Ouellet, were able to participate this year, using two of the APSO bikes to compete. This competition started as a charity event held in Galveston, Texas in the mid-1990’s. In 1997 the competition came to Baton Rouge because of Chief Jeff LeDuff asked if Baton Rouge could host the event, and then the competition moved to Ascension Parish. The competition is not just held for first place bragging rights, but all proceeds from the event are donated to chari- ty. The proceeds support the

the event are donated to chari- ty. The proceeds support the 26 Dream Day Foundation and

26

Dream Day Foundation and St. Jude Hospital. The funds help local cancer patients in their

travel expenses and so patients can have the family support that is so desperately

help local cancer patients in their travel expenses and so patients can have the family support
help local cancer patients in their travel expenses and so patients can have the family support

needed during such stressful times. Hosting Agencies for the competition yearly are:

Ascension Parish Sheriff’s Office, Baton Rouge Police Department, Livingston Parish Sheriff’s Office, West Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office, Louisiana State University Police Department, Louisiana State Police, Gonzales Police Department, Iberville Parish Sheriff’s Office, Denham Springs Police Department, and East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office.

Department, and East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office. Ssgt. Shane Cannon, Lt. Darryl Smith, Lt. Col.

Ssgt. Shane Cannon, Lt. Darryl Smith, Lt. Col. Bobby Webre, Captain Joey Mayeaux, Ssgt. Jared Mullins, DFC Jeremy Watson, Sgt. Micah Berteau, Deputy Wesley Beck, Deputy Justin Lanoux, DFC Kelly Brown, DFC Steven Coriell, and Major Ward Webb.

DFC Kelly Brown, DFC Steven Coriell, and Major Ward Webb. The competition is a weeklong event

The competition is a weeklong event with much practice, events, and networking with other agencies. On Thursday night, the APSO hosted a banquet for riders held at Houmas House Plantation and also hosted riders for the banquet Saturday night that ended the competition. For more information on the competition please visit http://www.gulfcoastmcrodeo. com.

that ended the competition. For more information on the competition please visit http://www.gulfcoastmcrodeo. com. 27

27

28

28

Life and Death Her first sight of this world was a lush green forest, another

Life and Death

Her first sight of this world was a lush green forest, another small spotted creature lying next to her and her big proud mama standing over her. Baby girl, baby boy and mama deer enjoyed the warmth of summer and an abun- dance of food for the next few months. As the days began to get shorter, the food supply began to change to a vari- ety of nuts that fell from the massive trees of the forest. As the temperature began to get cooler, their bodies began to consume more of these nutrients to keep them warm. For most of the fall, life had been fairly peaceful with the exception of a group of wild dogs that would chase them around at times. Mama deer always seemed to figure out a way to outsmart the pesky crea- tures, but now they were beginning to have run ins with this two legged crea- ture that always seemed to have an interest in them. The small family hated the smell of this new nuisance and would avoid them every time their odor was detected. The aggravation of these creatures eventually made the family move to a more secluded thick area deep in the forest where they were surrounded by water. They would spend most of the daylight hours in that location and would only venture out in the darkness of night. One night the family came upon an area with yellow food scattered about the forest floor. The cold of winter had set in and this easy food source became a blessing to the group. For some time they would only venture to the sight in the darkness. Winter coldness began to tighten its grip and the need to keep warm became a necessity. On a cold January evening mama deer led her family to the sight before darkness had set in. She never heard the loud noise that put her to sleep for eternity, but baby girl and baby boy did and they bolted away to their safe haven deep in the forest. They returned to the spot several times in search of her but never saw her again. They continued to visit the food site, only at night, until one day it vanished. When spring arrived food became easy to find and baby girl and baby boy lived happily together through the warmth of the summer. Mama deer had taught them well on how to escape the pesky dog creatures and the smell of the two legged nuisance had disap-

peared from the woods for months. Fall came peacefully and leaves began to fall. During this period, the brother and sister decided to go sepa- rate ways. Baby girl joined a group of other females and baby boy ventured off on his own. The smell of the two legged creatures soon returned and the group of females always seemed to avoid them. The days grew shorter and the weather got colder as time passed. On a cold December night, baby boy approached the group of females and began to chase baby girl around. This continued on for several days. She had lost connection with the other females in her group. Every effort was given to avoid him, but he would not give up. She soon accepted his demand and a new seed of life had been planted. Winter turned to spring. Spring turned to summer and some seven months later baby girl gave birth to a beautiful spotted doe fawn. And so life goes on

In a way it's sad, I must admit. Life itself can be sad at times. Every crea- ture that lives will eventually die. That fact you can take to the bank. There's no escaping it. There's nothing wrong with the taking of an animal's life for food consumption. Every steak, pork chop, chicken, shellfish etc that you purchase from the store was a living creature at one time. Our civilization would not have survived to this point, and from this point forward without the use of living creatures. In reality it's a matter of life and death

Till Next Time,

Take Only What You Need,

James "Goosie" Guice

Ascension Outdoors Air Times

THE PELICAN - CHANNEL 113 SAT. - 9:00 - A.M. SUN. - 7:30 - P.M. MON. - 9:00 - P.M.

EATEL - CHANNEL 4 SAT. - 6:30 A.M. & 1:30 P.M. SUN. - 1:30 P.M. WED. - 10:00 P.M. FRI. - 8 - P.M.

IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN ADVERTIZING PLEASE CALL

225-485-7997

29

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Deboning
Taking Orders
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Fried Turkeys
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call 225.806.FOOD
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225.644.3065 (fax)
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Friday & Saturday:
11am-8pm

“If I Were King of the World”

If you were expecting to see my new Thanksgiving song to rival all those Christmas Classics-well, Jimmy Fallon has already stolen my idea. To the tune of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball”-here is the Turkey Day Anthem-“You made me cook a Butterball, And then a green bean casserole, And all you did was watch football…” You see, there are more important things on my agenda right now. I have an election to run. While others may be content to confine themselves to running for such meaningless offices as Parish President or Governor of Louisiana, I intend to go for the whole enchilada (an ethnic attempt to get the Latino vote) and go whole hog or nothing (gives a folksy, down-home appearance) to win the only office that interests me-King of the World. But as former governor John McKeithen used to say in his North Louisiana drawl, “I’m gonna need a little hep.” First of all, we’ll need a musical anthem that the entire world can identify with. Remember when the Beatles did the first world- wide broadcast via satellite in 1968? In what can only be described as a stroke of genius, John Lennon chose “All You Need Is Love” as the one tune to perform. The song’s message came through loud and clear in any language. But since that one’s already been done, my regime’s theme song will be “Joy to the World”- not the Christmas carol but the one made popular by Three Dog Night in the late ‘60’s. Not only does the song-written by Hoyt Axton who went on to play Billy’s dad in “Gremlins”-promote hope and happiness, it also supplies us with a mascot for the campaign. Everybody loves the hero of the song’s first verse Jeremiah the Bullfrog (appeal to animal lovers) who enjoyed a taste of wine every now and then. And the repetitious chorus would have the entire world singing along from Lower Slobbovia to Rooster Poo, Arkansas. I’m sure Three Dog Night would not be opposed to a revival of their classic although I prefer a local version by Nancy Marchand of Duplesssis. Once our world-wide anthem is in place, I will then start to appoint my cabinet members. These will be extremely important because even when I am King of the World, I intend to be like Moses (biblical reference to appeal to religious groups) and lean on my staff. So for my first

by Bill Delaune

appointee, I address a world-wide problem on everyone’s mind right now…

Depression Despot- Tony Soprano.

With a little help from this famous Jersey mobster, we should have the economy up and running again in no time. Sure his popular series’ closing left a lot to be desired. But you should see Tony and his boys in action when the closing involves debts to be collected. Can you picture some fat cat CEO from AIG or Enron sitting on his yacht in the Cayman Islands

Middle Eastern Mediator- Dr. Phil.

Oprah’s favorite problem-solver would have no shortage of busi- ness in his first assignment in Iraq. But I am confident that in just a matter of days, the good doctor would have the Shiites singing, “Keep on the Sunni side…” the Sunnis reading Mother Goose poetry to little children about “kurds and whey” and the Kurds playing “Wheel of Fortune” while trying to buy a vowel from the Shiites. Later, Dr. Phil will try to teach the Iraqis some old Jewish songs

Dr. Phil will try to teach the Iraqis some old Jewish songs when suddenly there’s a

when suddenly there’s a knock at the door? Enter Tony, Paulie, Guido and few other members of the family wielding Louisville Slugger baseball bats-the old models made of ash not maple. “We’re here to make you an offer you can’t refuse,” begins Tony. “We are of the opinion that youse should return the 90 million dollar settlement you received to the taxpayers and nobody will get hurt. Otherwise, Paulie and Guido and I are going to take a little batting practice on strategic parts of your body sorta like some of my Vegas crew did to Joe Pesci in “Casino”.” A few more stops like that and we’ll be able to bail out not only the USA but also several European countries and the city of Katmandu.

like “Jew Believe in Magic” and will say clever quotes like, “There has never been a good war or a bad piece.” If his methods work, then we’ve cooled off one of our hot spots in the planet. And if the natives get upset and behead him, we have a martyr for our cause. Dr. Phil would have wanted it that way.

Award-Winning Director of Immigration-Clint Eastwood.

A firm proponent of Teddy Roosevelt’s “Speak softly and carry a big stick” policy, Eastwood’s “big stick” was often a .44 magnum-“the most powerful handgun known to man”. His relationship with the Mexican community dates back to the days of the “Fistful of Dollars” trilogy where he helped solve a

30

feud between two families south of the Border by killing every single person in both families. “There are the Rojos on one side and the Baxters on the other side and me in the middle,” pointed out the astute

compromiser. In the sequel “A Few Dollars More”, Eastwood again showed his tact and diplomacy by infiltrat- ing a Mexican gang, gaining their trust and then killing every single member for the reward money. The third installment-“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” saw Clint team up with a Mexican named Tuco for a very profitable partnership. Eastwood rewards Tuco at the end by leaving him balanced precariously on a cross in

a graveyard with a noose around

his neck. If this isn’t the guy to work out better relations between us and our Mexican neighbors, I want you to tell me who is.

Religious Riter-John Prine.

Separation of church and state in my new world order? Never. I intend to have a religious gumbo that includes everything from Haitian voodoo to Willie Nelson reincarnation. However, I do thing we may need to combine some of the world’s many religions into just a few in order to get along and avoid those nasty little wars about whose God is better. Call it a mass merger if you will.

And once again using music as the universal language, I will call upon my singer/songwriter buddy from Chicago to help soothe any hurt feelings that may occur. John Prine’s philosophical tune “Pretty Good” contains a verse about religion that will become the cornerstone of my administration. In the key of D,

it goes something like this…

“I heard Allah and Buddha were singing at the Savior’s feast, And up in the sky an Arabian Rabbi fed Quaker Oats to a priest, Pretty good, not bad, they can’t complain. Cause actually all them gods are just about the same.” Prine will be assisted in his duties by Nashville’s Larry Gatlin who once offended Christians and Jews alike with his wino’s lament in “Midnight Choir”… “Will there be Mogen David in heaven-Dear Lord we’d all like to know, Will there be Mogen David in heaven, Sweet Jesus? If they don’t, who the hell wants to go?” Inspirational is not a strong enough word for those lyrics.

Gender General-Richard “Kinky” Friedman.

If you think I’m overloading this cabinet with musicians, you’re probably right. But remember, this gentleman received almost 13 per cent of the vote in a gubernatorial race in the great state of Texas so he is well qualified to repair the “gender benders” that are taking place all over our globe. Sure he was voted Male Chauvinist Pig of 1978 for his stirring ballad about women’s rights-“Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed”, but Kinky has grown a lot more sensitive to the issues since then. Witness his answer to the abortion issue during his Texas campaign. “I’m not pro-life and I’m not pro-choice, I’m pro-football” And his touching takes on gay rights. “I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.” Kinky’s first assignment will be to establish a women’s beach volleyball league in Iran.

Ruler of Race Relations- Morgan Freeman.

This one was a no-brainer. Freeman has shown the ability to lead an all-black unit in the Civil

War (“Glory”), to deal with a cranky old white woman in the Deep South (“Driving Miss Daisy”) and to straighten out a tumultuous world as God (“Bruce Almighty”). And with that great baritone voice of his, Freeman is a natural to do all of our propaganda-oops- public service announcements that will air all over the globe. Freeman has also shown the ability to work closely with Immigration Director Eastwood (“Million Dollar Baby”) and will not throw in the towel when the real fighting begins.

Other key appointments will include…

United Nations Secretary General-Nick Saban.

If St. Nick can rebuild a downtrodden Alabama team in a few short seasons, think what he can do for the U.N.-an organiza- tion in total disarray. And as far as the “moody” label unfairly bestowed on Coach Saban, I beg to differ. Moody people are happy some of the time.

Transportation Tsars- Batman, Spiderman and Ironman.

Hey, these guys never seem to have any trouble making their way

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through traffic. Let’s get everyone

a Batmobile (Isn’t Morgan Freeman head of Bruce Wayne Enterprises? See how nicely this is all coming together.) Or some of Spidey’s ultra-strong webbing or maybe a couple of Ironman’s rockets and we’ll all soar above the traffic snarls below. And, by the way, where are all those jet packs we were promised we would all be using in the 21st century.

Weather Wizard-Jim Cantore.

One of my first actions as King of the World will be to change hurricane season from its current June through November status to

a one month period in December. Next our designated hurricane halter Jim Cantore, who always seems to know exactly where the storm is going to hit, will be sent out to issue an out-of-season ticket to any hurricane that tries to enter the coast during the old six-month period. Violators will be sent back to Africa to do time-out in the Sahara Desert where they can dump all the rain they want to. Unfortunately, the rare storms that do come in December will have to be allowed to enter the mainland. The advantages will be that generators will not be needed to run air conditioners in the winter, families will probably all be piled in one house for Christmas

anyway and Santa Claus can use the wind at his back to expedite the delivery of gifts.

Now I know what you’re thinking. With all these duties being designated, what am I-as King of the World- going to have left to do? The answer comes in the final verse of our national anthem… “If I were the King of the World, tell you what I’d do, Throw away the cars and the laws and the wars, and make sweet love to you. Joy to the world, all the boys and girls…”

Epilog-

Despite this poor attempt at satire, there is an important election scheduled for the second to last Saturday in November. Whether you vote for the experience of Kenny Matassa or the fresh face and approach of Clint Cointment-whether you prefer the West Point discipline of John Bel Edwards or the “Best Friend of the working girls” candidate David Vitter-go out and vote. Thirty-eight per cent ain’t gonna cut it this time.

H e y Dr. Rob? Is there a age limit for hunting dogs? AASSCCEENNSSIIOONN PPAARRIISSHH
H e y Dr. Rob?
Is there a age
limit for hunting
dogs?
AASSCCEENNSSIIOONN PPAARRIISSHH
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222255 774444 44990055

31

“Two Communities Becoming One For Our Youth”

“Two Communities Becoming One For Our Youth” WE COME TO YOU! Spotless Auto Mobile Detailing is
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32

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ThoughtsfromBully
ThoughtsfromBully
ThoughtsfromBully Bizarre Hunting Products Years ago I had a hunting Buddy put doe urine in an

Bizarre

Hunting

Products

Years ago I had a hunting Buddy put doe urine in an Afrin spray bottle. He misted it in the woods while hunting. One morning he had that Afrin bottle on the dash board of his truck. A fellow hunter walked by the truck saw it. He had

truck. A fellow hunter walked by the truck saw it. He had sinus conges- tion and

sinus conges- tion and reached and grabbed the spray bottle for relief. After the first squirt the only relief he had was of his lunch. As I looked through some hunting prod- ucts I came across a product that I could easily see as an accident waiting to happen. This product bottles doe estrous urine in a hot sauce looking bottle. Imagine putting that on your turnip greens thinking its vinegar or spicy oil. It’s spicy alright but a little tangy. Here is a product that is supposed to be humorous in an attempt to get men to clean and wash up more often. Comes in a variety of manly

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BEFORE
AFTER
Prairieville, La 70769 • 225.715.4594
BEFORE AFTER Prairieville, La 70769 • 225.715.4594 scents including beer, bacon, baseball glove and more. Made

scents including beer, bacon, baseball glove and more. Made in USA. Also available in Football, Christmas Pine Tree, Cedar Log Cabin, Popcorn, Bonfire, Cash, Coffee, Democrat, Fresh Cut Grass, Republican, Top Soil, Cinnamon Whiskey. What? I have a few questions about some of these scents. At the camp I generally smell like bacon as I like to cook breakfast. I smell like the bonfire from the night before. There are some times when there are whiskey smells floating around the camp and I’m sure some spilled on me. The smell I’ve never had is the smell of cash. What the hell does that smell like, Donald Trump. The two scents that really got

me were of a Democrat or a Republican. What does a Republican smell like. Wall Street? What does a Democrat smell like? The working class? Don’t get me started. I think if there was a hypocritical smell it would pertain to both. The last product is a Scent Crusher Ozone On The Go. You plug it into your cigarette

Crusher Ozone On The Go. You plug it into your cigarette lighter and let the ozone

lighter and let the ozone scrubber neutralizes the air in the truck keeping your scents from your cloths to help hide you in the woods. I think this product works best on the way home. It can help me rid my vehicle from the bacon, beer hand smell or the doe scent on my boot. Or heaven forbid a democrat rubbed up against me. Maybe the scrubber will help us all smell independent.

6 2 2 . 5 0 8 5 44253 Hwy. 42 ( 1 m i
6 2 2 . 5 0 8 5
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( 1
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Useless Random Facts with Kellie • At Lincoln University in Oxford, Pennsylvania, students with a

Useless Random Facts

with Kellie

At Lincoln University in Oxford, Pennsylvania, students

with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 30 or higher are required to take a physical education class before they are allowed to graduate.

100,000,000,000 tons of dynamite would have to be

detonated every second to match the energy produced by the sun.

Giraffes sleep only 1.9 hours a day in five- to 10-minute

sessions. Koalas, however, are the longest-sleeping mammals, sleeping up to 22 hours a day.

Most sharks are born alive (viviparous). There are two ways

a pup can grow inside the mother. In some sharks, the

embryos feed on the yolk attached to their bellies. Other species have an umbilical cord that connects to a mother’s blood supply. A mother shark can give birth to up to 48 pups in one litter. The pups are usually born tail first and might rest beside their mother for a while before swimming away to fend for themselves.

According to one study, a first-time drunk-driving offender has already driven drunk more than 80 times

before being arrested.

-Canada is known as the home of large animals like the

moose and grizzly bear, but it is also home to about 55,000 species of insects and about 11,000 species of mites and spiders.

-Tortoises in the Mojave Desert store up to 1/3 of their

body weight in urine. When they need water, the water in their urine flows back into their bodies while the waste remains and expels.

-Prolonged lack of sleep can cause irregular jumping

heartbeats called premature ventricular contractions (PVCs).

-In 2009, consumers spent on average $740 on

Christmas presents.

The sense of smell connects to the part of the brain that

also controls emotions and memories. This is why smells often evoke strong memories.

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Monday Night

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Tuesday

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Closed Thanksgiving Day
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35

The 2015 Spartan / Gator Ryder Cup took place at pelican Point Country Club. The tournament kicked off at Noon. The day was full of some outstanding friendship, friendly rivalry and outstanding community support.

This year’s turn out was outstanding playing in the golf tournament from the East Ascension & St. Amant communities.

As I looked around a saw all the STA players and their youth it looked like the

PGA Tour. I then looked at the EA players and it looked like the Seniors

PGA Tour. I then looked at the EA players and it looked like the Seniors tour. It looks like youth over came the Senior’s this 2015 Spartan/Gator Ryder Cup

Tournament. East Ascension Spartans lost to the Gators by 1 point, 73.5 - 72.5. I’ve taken a good long look at that point and have heard many

taken a good long look at that point and have heard many Breakfast Breakfast Lunch Lunch
taken a good long look at that point and have heard many Breakfast Breakfast Lunch Lunch
taken a good long look at that point and have heard many Breakfast Breakfast Lunch Lunch
Breakfast Breakfast Lunch Lunch & & Dinner Dinner Starting to take orders for Holiday Feast
Breakfast Breakfast
Lunch Lunch & & Dinner Dinner
Starting to take orders for
Holiday Feast
• Fried and
Smoked Turkeys
• Spiral Honey
Hams
• Briskets &
Pork Roasts
FRANK II
FRANK III

37

stories about how even things were. One gator made a double eagle which made a
stories about how even things were. One gator made a double eagle which made a
stories about how even things were. One gator made a double eagle which made a

stories about how even things were. One gator made a double eagle which made a extra point. I heard also after identifying his golf ball a Gator player went to order a drink at a booth and returned to find his ball missing. Therefore they had to play his partners ball and they lost the hole.I myself missed a putt from 20ft that stopped 1/8 inch short dead center of the hole. With all that said it was a great competition however I must point out one former EA player

dead center of the hole. With all that said it was a great competition however I
dead center of the hole. With all that said it was a great competition however I
dead center of the hole. With all that said it was a great competition however I

38

went over this year to the black and gold or I may say the ‘dark

went over this year to the black and gold or I may say the ‘dark side’. David Amedee could have made the difference for the Spartans but no, he wanted to be a Sith Lord instead of a Jet I Knight. Save me Obewon, save me.

Many thanks go out to the EA Captain Bret Hughes and the Gator Captain Camille Trabeau for all their outstanding and dedicated work.

Thanks again Veron Foods for the po-boys before the tournament.

Special thanks again go to Mr. Loyson Porta for taking care of all the books.

Most of all, thanks to the dedicated 2015 Committee members who spent all day at Pelican Point for another successful tournament.

all day at Pelican Point for another successful tournament. 30 Years of Top Notch Services Braud
30 Years of Top Notch Services Braud Company Welding & Industrial Supplies has been providing
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We have a well stocked walk-in sales counter
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225.673.3370 • Toll Free 888.269.4315 • www.braudco.com

39

I promise I didn’t know that golf ball belonged to a Gator? 24 Hr. Emergency
I promise I didn’t know that golf ball belonged to a Gator?
I promise
I didn’t know
that golf ball
belonged to a
Gator?
I didn’t know that golf ball belonged to a Gator? 24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service BIGGEAUX’STIRESNOWOPEN
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40

SHOUT OUT FOR THE SPARTANS

SHOUT OUT FOR THE SPARTANS The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros and their
The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros and their Five locations is a
The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros
and their Five locations is a solid community.
These Kids Rock!
1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

41

SHOUT OUT FOR THE SCHOOLS

SHOUT OUT FOR THE SCHOOLS The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros and their
The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros and their Five locations is a
The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros
and their Five locations is a solid community.
These Kids Rock!
1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

42

SHOUT OUT FOR THE GATORS

SHOUT OUT FOR THE GATORS The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros and their
The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros and their Five locations is a
The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros
and their Five locations is a solid community.
These Kids Rock!
1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

43

Cooking Gourmet at Home

with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS

Cooking Gourmet at Home with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS CAJUNCRABFINGERS Executive Chef Ben Jarreau Prep Time:

CAJUNCRABFINGERS

Executive Chef Ben Jarreau
Executive Chef
Ben Jarreau

Prep Time:

10 Minutes Cook Time:

2.5 Minutes

Ingredients:

• 8 oz crab fingers

• 1 lb whole unsalted butter

• 2 tsp table salt

• 1 tsp cayenne pepper

• ¼ tsp black pepper

• 1 ½ tsp minced garlic

• 1 tsp chopped parsley

• 2 tsp liquid or powdered crab boil

Method:

First cut the butter into small cubes and put in the microwave for 1 minute to soften or let stand at room temperature until soft. In a food processor or mixer add the softened butter and

all other seasonings. Mix together until all the seasonings are incorporated throughout the butter. In a sauté pan add about

4 oz of the compound butter and bring it up to a simmer.

Then add your crab fingers. Let the crab fingers heat for about

1 ½ to 2 minutes gently moving them around in the pan.

Finish with a little more compound butter if desired and enjoy! The remaining butter can be rolled in plastic wrap and stored in the freezer for later use. This butter works great with shrimp and crawfish as well.

in plastic wrap and stored in the freezer for later use. This butter works great with

45

TThhiissMMoonntthhaattMMoorraann’’ssMMaarriinnaaiinnPPoorrttFFoouurrcchhoonn Moran's Marina • 27900 Hwy 1 •
TThhiissMMoonntthhaattMMoorraann’’ssMMaarriinnaaiinnPPoorrttFFoouurrcchhoonn
Moran's Marina • 27900 Hwy 1 • Golden Meadow, LA 70357
(985) 396-2728 • cmoransmarina@gmail.com
Motel 985-396-3900 • Bar 985-396-2713 • Port Fourchon Marina 985-396-2792
Convenient Store/Deli 985-396-2727 • Restaurant 985-396-2729 • Office 985-396-2728
We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon
• Office 985-396-2728 We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon MOTEL ROOMS • DAILY WET SLIPS
• Office 985-396-2728 We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon MOTEL ROOMS • DAILY WET SLIPS
• Office 985-396-2728 We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon MOTEL ROOMS • DAILY WET SLIPS
• Office 985-396-2728 We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon MOTEL ROOMS • DAILY WET SLIPS
• Office 985-396-2728 We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon MOTEL ROOMS • DAILY WET SLIPS
• Office 985-396-2728 We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon MOTEL ROOMS • DAILY WET SLIPS

MOTEL ROOMS •

DAILY WET SLIPS • MONTHLY WET SLIPS • HOUSE BOATS • BOAT SLIPS (dry)

TRAILER CAMPS • RV PARKS • BOAT STORAGE (wet)

Inshore Trips Consist of leaving out at 6 am and fishing for specks and reds,

Inshore Trips

Consist of leaving out at 6 am and fishing for specks and reds, occasionally drum and sheephead as well, arriving back at the dock for 3pm. Trips consist of live bait and artificial techniques Live bait, ice, tackle, included. If you have a favorite rod by all means bring it. Food and drinks available upon request.

C o l d e r months we usually fish Leeville and Golden Meadow marshes. W a r m e r months we typically fish Barataria and Timbalier bays, beaches, and the western barrier islands.

Offshore Trips

Consist of leaving out at 6 am and arriving back at the dock between 4-6pm. These trips are the most commonly booked trips, we generally target bottom species, live bait mangrove fish , and troll the rip when in season. Fish you can expect to catch on these trips include snapper, grouper, amberjack, wahoo, blackfin tuna, lemon fish, dolphin.

On these trips we generally travel up to 60 miles out.

ForMoreInformationortoBookaCharterCallToday(985)396-2728

ForMoreInformationortoBookaCharterCallToday(985)396-2728 Captain Chris Moran Hi, I'm Captain Chris Moran and I
Captain Chris Moran Hi, I'm Captain Chris Moran and I have fished the offshore and

Captain Chris Moran

Hi, I'm Captain Chris Moran and I have fished the offshore and inshore waters of Louisiana my entire life. I truly enjoy charter fishing to the point that I don't know who is having more fun, the clients or me. No saltwater species is safe from Cajun Made Charters, whether it be Tuna, Marlin, Wahoo, Dorado, Shark, Cobia, Tarpon, Amberjack, Mangrove, Red Snapper, Trigger Fish, Grouper, Trout, Redfish or King Mackerel. Trips consist of Inshore, Live/Artificial Trout and Redfishing, Shallow and Deep Water Bottom Fishing, Blue Water, Kite Fishing, Overnight Tuna and Swordfish, Offshore Fly Fishing, and Big Game Trolling.

Bottom Fishing, Blue Water, Kite Fishing, Overnight Tuna and Swordfish, Offshore Fly Fishing, and Big Game

46

The Inn at Houmas House Plantation and Gardens "The Great River Roads" newest and most
The Inn at Houmas House Plantation and Gardens "The Great River Roads" newest and most
The Inn at Houmas House Plantation and Gardens "The Great River Roads" newest and most
The Inn at Houmas House Plantation and Gardens "The Great River Roads" newest and most
The Inn at Houmas House Plantation and Gardens "The Great River Roads" newest and most
The Inn at Houmas House Plantation and Gardens "The Great River Roads" newest and most

The Inn at Houmas House Plantation and Gardens

"The Great River Roads" newest and most elegant bed and breakfast. Our cottages are nestled along an alley of ancient oak trees, where you will have full access to our world famous gardens to watch the sunset or relax in a cozy spot and enjoy the gentle breeze from the Mississippi River. The cottages depict historic structures that once graced Uncle Sam Plantation, which was located downriver from Houmas House. Each room is complete with a single king or queen size bed or double queen beds, marble bathrooms, and a porch to enjoy the view.

Luxurious and romantic, each room is decorated with old world furnishings allowing you to experience the lavish lifestyle of the wealthy Sugar Barons of the early 1800's. With all the amenities world class travelers expect today. Breakfast and a tour of the mansion are included. Check In: 4pm Check Out: 11am.

Book Now Online www.houmashouse.com or call (225) 473-9380.

Book Now Online www.houmashouse.com or call (225) 473-9380. 40136 Hwy 942, River Road, Darrow, LA 70725

40136 Hwy 942, River Road, Darrow, LA 70725 225.473.9380 • kk@houmashouse.com