COMPLIMENTARY

NOVEMBER 2015, VOL. 13 ISSUE 10

VOTE #71

SEE PAGE 24

IF YOU HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHO TOMMY MARTINEZ WOULD
ENDORSE IN THE ELECTION FOR HIS REPLACEMENT: ...
WONDER NO MORE! TOMMY MARTINEZ ENDORSES

THE TRUTH!

Fellow Citizens of Ascension Parish,
In these last days of my career in public
office, there have been numerous
falsehoods, half truths and outright lies
told by a candidate about my record as
Ascension Parish President. I have
chosen not to endorse any candidate
for Parish President because setting
the record straight is far more
important to me.

Ascension Economic Development Corp.
and the Ascension Tourist Commission
(and others) are continuing a
tremendous economic momentum.
Let's not lose this energy and
momentum!

INSTEAD OF A
CANDIDATE, I HAVE
CHOSEN TO ENDORSE
THE TRUTH!

parish workers raised above minimum
wage ($10.00 an hour now) and raises
given every year FOR LAST 10 YEARS.
If you're going to tell a lie, you should
tell one that can't be proven,
Mr. Candidate!

*One candidate for Parish President's
"Plan" calls for secondary access from
Edenborne to relieve traffic on
St. Landry and Hwy. 30

*This candidate claims parish workers
haven't gotten a raise in 10 years.

TRUTH: Minimum pay scale for

*This candidate's "Plan" says do more
on recreation.

TRUTH: DONE ... Construction

TRUTH: WE ARE ... DONE ...

scheduled to begin 1st quarter 2016

always more can be done, but my
Administration has built 2 waterparks at
Oak Grove and 1 in Donaldsonville, built
new park at Hillaryville, new lights being
installed throughout parish in parks,
7 new soccer fields being built, built and
maintain a park for OUR VETERANS,
purchased Lamar Dixon and
Donaldsonville Fair Grounds and
provided maintenance employees for all
our parish parks.

*His "Plan" calls for a plan and protocol
for turning on drainage pumps

TRUTH: DONE ... Been in place
*This candidate's "Plan" calls for
comprehensive evaluation of Animal
Shelter, training and certification, and
increase pet adoptions

TRUTH: DONE ... Signed agreement

*This candidate claims "transparency"
is needed ...

with CARA to take it over. Also, this
candidate's "Plan" calls for a cooperative
TRUTH: DONE ... TRANSPARENCY
endeavor agreement with LSU Vet.
HAS ALWAYS BEEN CLEAR ... all parish
School. ...
documents are public record ...
TRUTH: DONE ... Been in place for financial transactions including contracts
years/c'mon man!
and budget are given to Council and/or
committee and all are open to
*The candidate's "Plan" calls for
public. All contracts over $50,000 are
economic development
bid out even though not required by law
...
TRUTH: DONE ... DONE ... DONE!
Ascension Parish leads the state in
economic investment and growth;

*This candidate claims he will "end
wasteful spending"...

TRUTH: CHECK YOUR FACTS
BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH ...
Ascension Parish Financial Office earned
the prestigious FINANCIAL STATEMENT
AWARD the past 5 years and the ANNUAL BUDGET AWARD the past 4 years ...
these awards granted by GFOA ...
PLUS ... ASCENSION PARISH IS IN THE
BEST FINANCIAL SHAPE IT HAS EVER
BEEN ACCORDING TO PARISH
AUDITORS!!!!
*This candidate WANTS TO RAID OUR
PARISH SURPLUS...

TRUTH: NO WAY!!!! The parish
"rainy day fund" must stay in place.
Obviously, this candidate does no know
what a hurricane can do to a parish.
Check out Livingston Parish!
*This candidate wants to build a levee
around Astroland and Pelican Point. ...

TRUTH: DONE ... Waiting on the
permit to build a ring levee around
this area ...

of the parish.
Check the history and check the FACTS!
There are numerous other falsehoods,
half truths and lies this candidate
continues to say to our people. Frankly,
so many I can't address them all.
Perhaps it's due to lack of experiencenot knowing what you are talking aboutor perhaps it's just politics. Either way,
I want to set the record straight.
During my career, I've spent countless
hours and days working to improve our
parish. It has been an honor! I can't
thank you enough for the opportunity
to make a difference.
This is my last few days in public office.
I will never serve again. I am both sad
and honored ...
The Biblical admonition, if I can be
allowed to paraphrase, sums it up best:
I have run my race, fought the good
fight, and did my best.
It has been my honor to have served
you and my responsibility to leave you
with the truth.

*Claims we need to work with
neighboring parishes to insure flood
waters are not pushed on them ...

TRUTH: DONE ... Already have a
task force in place to do just this.
Why didn't the candidate even ask?
Roads: The candidate questioned where
the $12.5 million went and states that
overlay projects are only done in
election year.

FACT: Road projects have been ongoing my last 7.5 years in office. More
money has been spent on road projects,
road improvements, and turn lanes
during my last two terms
($87.8 million) than in the history

Thank you,

Tommy Martinez
Ascension Parish President

Paid for by Tommy Martinez Campaign

Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong

Table of Contents

Sales Manager

COMMUNITY SUPPORT............4

Dottie Godberry

MIREWORKS ............................10

Staff Photographer

SWEET EYES W/ TANYA.... ....12

Jimmy Dunkley

FOR MORE INFORMATION

KENNY MATASSA .................................24

225.622.3262
www.riverparishfoods.com

Contributing Writers
Bill Delaune

JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE........ 29
BILL DELAUNE........................ 30

Linda Melancon
THOUGHTS FROM BULLY.....34

Calvin Bessonett

Bully

EA STA RYDER CUP GOLF.....35

Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Roland Doucet
Jimmy Dunkley

For Advertising
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225-622-1324

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THANK YOU Ascension Parish for all your work on the 2015 Shout Out Committee. We faced many
obstacles this year, and many even doubted we could pull it off, but each and
every one of you worked tirelessly over the past couple months
to ensure the success of the 2015 Shout Out Event.
With this year’s totals, of $16,000.00 per school,
that now puts the committee at $112,000.00 –
PER SCHOOL over the last eight years.
We are definitely blessed to continue to live
in a community where we can all come
together to work for the betterment of
both schools and all the students that

attend both East Ascension and
St. Amant High Schools.
Each and every one of you are
to be commended for what you
have accomplished on this
committee. Without the support
from the Shout Out
Committee, there are many
things that would not be
afforded to our students at
both of these schools.
The amount of money given

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over the past eight years
not only reflects the hard
work that each and every
one of you have done, but
also indicated the support
that our schools are getting
from our communities.
This event cannot happen
without all our area
Sponsorships.
It is such a great feeling to
know that there are so
many that support the
efforts being made for

"Flu Vaccines
are in!

Caring for
Ascension Parish for
Over 40 Years

The CDC
recommends
an annual
flu vaccine
for everyone!

6

these two Ascension Parish schools.
Again, a sincere thank you for your
time, dedication, and commitment that
you all have given for the benefit of
these schools.
2015 Competition saw the Gators win
the Freshman Game, the JV Game, the
Golf Tournament, the Shout Out Event
and the collection of the can goods
event. East Ascension won the completion of games that took place that week
with both student bodies and the
Varsity Friday Football Game on

7

Burnside.

“Two Communities
Becoming One In
Supporting Our
Youth”

The Solid Choice in
Ascension Parish

8

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Catering Coordinator:

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10

what to play up and what to
minimize. Analyze your facial
shape, body shape and size,
coloring, and the type of clothes
you wear. Decide what your needs
are and in what order of
importance, then accumulate those
items through the years.
The finest gold jewelry is made of
18 karat or 14 karat gold, and a
wide choice of beautiful finishes is
available for you to choose from.

Create a Wardrobe
of Gold Jewelry
with Layne Gautreau
It takes time and thought to
assemble a jewelry wardrobe that
is just right for you. First take
stock of your features and decide

Earrings - These are the most
noticed piece of personal jewelry.
The size and shape of an earring
depends on your face and earlobe.
When buying earrings, always
shake your head to see if they fit
properly. And try both earrings on,
since no two ears are alike. Start
with a pair of plain gold earrings
for daily wear and add others later.

Rings - Engagement and wedding
rings are generally the first rings
worn by women. But it’s always
nice to have a fashionable gold
ring set with diamonds or colored
gems to wear for daytime or
evening wear.

Bracelets - The classic gold bangle
should be your first choice. It’s a
wearable, versatile style that shows
quiet good taste and can be combined with bangle styles in various
widths or bangles set with colored
faceted gems.

11

Birthstones

November - Topaz & Citrine
In ancient times, Topaz in its
purest, colorless state was
sometimes mistaken for diamond.
Today iconic for its yellow and
golden colors having an unmistakable color characteristic in Imperial
Topaz of a deep yellow almost
orange, tinged with gold.

Citrine is the alternate November
birthstone. The description of
citrine is contained in its name
from the French word, citron,
meaning lemon. Citrines actually
cover a wider range of yellows
than do most lemons, including
rich orangey yellows. Citrines are
greatly esteemed for their warm,
earthy color and vivacious sparkle.

Jewelry Doctor

Gold Jewelry - How to Keep
Gold Jewelry Shiny Bright
Gold is one of the noble metals,
and high karat gold (14K and

18K) usually needs little care since
it resists both oxidation and
corrosion. But some gold jewelry
with a lower number of karats can
discolor because of the higher percentage of base metals in the alloy.
A bath of warm soapy water will
easily remove any discoloration.

Alcohol dissolves tough dirt, such
as coatings of makeup or grease,
which can be brushed away with a
soft toothbrush or eyebrow brush.
Do not use ammonia, which turns
solder joints dark or toothpaste or
any other abrasive because it will
scratch jewelry metals.
Give jewelry a final warm water
rinse and polish with a jewelers
polishing cloth. Don’t forget to
rinse over a basin or bowl, never
over an open sink, where jewelry
can go down the drain!

Also, if you have company coming
to enjoy the feast, ask everyone to
bring a dish, drinks, or even
napkins or supplies needed for
the day.

Simple Schedule
I am the child of a broken home,
so I always had many stops during
the holidays. Now, I really enjoy
staying home and asking family
and friends stop by for a visit or to
eat. If you do travel, keep it to
two stops max. There’s
nothing worse than spending
most of your holiday on the road!

Give Thanks
Most importantly, be sure to pause
and be thankful for all that you
have. Show those in your life how
much they mean to you. If you
can’t be with them, then reach out
and let them know they are loved.

Happy
Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! It’s
that time of year where pumpkin

spice is plentiful, stores are
stocking Christmas décor and
you’re jotting your to do list for
the next two months. This time
of year can get super hectic, so
I’ve got some reminders to keep
the peace this Thanksgiving.

Minimal Menu
I’m as guilty as anyone. I love
cooking and sometimes my
Thanksgiving menu can get out of
control. “Just one more side dish
won’t be a big deal to cook.” I‘ve
told myself in years past, but then
all those casseroles add up. I’ve
found myself on Thanksgiving
morning feeling overwhelmed
about all the things I needed to
get done.
So, keep it simple. Don’t be afraid
to pick up your favorite sides from
local restaurants or grocery stores.
(I have a friend that lives for
Picadilly’s carrot soufflé!) Just
stick with a main dish and a
couple of EASY side dishes. Paula
Deen’s corn casserole is one of my
favorites. (Recipe included)
The recipe is very easy and
super delicious.

12

Corn Casserole
Courtesy of Food
Network and Paula
Deen
Serves 6 to 8
Ingredients:
1 – 15 oz whole kernel corn
1 - 14 oz cream corn
1 - Package Jiffy corn muffin mix
1 cup sour cream
½ stick melted butter
1 to 1 ½ cups shredded cheddar
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In
large bowl, mix 2 types of corn,
sour cream, and melted butter.
Pour into 9 x 13 greased casserole
dish. Bake for 45 minutes or until
golden brown. Enjoy!

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Jambalaya
Festival Association
Christmas Parade Quickly
Approaches
The 2015 JFA Christmas Parade with the theme,
“A Cajun Christmas”, will take place Sunday,
December 13th at 2pm. The parade will take
place along Burnside Avenue in Gonzales.

December 13th at 2pm

Parade celebrations will showcase a wide variety of
decorated floats featuring several Parish and City
dignitaries, Christmas music, local elementary and
high school bands, dance teams, and the 2015
Jambalaya Queens.

JFA President, Wally Taillon, along with Parade
Committee Members are excited to announce the
Grand Marshal for the 2015 Christmas Parade will
be City of Gonzales Mayor, Barney Arceneaux.

If you’d like to be a part of this growing parade
tradition, downloadable forms are now available
on the Jambalaya Festival Website,
www.jambalayafestival.org.

15

The Christmas Parade Committee would like to
stress the final date to turn in applications will on
December 1st, 2015. Any late applications will
require the addition of a late fee.

Please visit the website for more information and
direct any questions to
jamfestassociation@gmail.com.

Place Big Orders
in Advance.
We Deliver 10 plates
or more.

We accept
cash donations.
Tax deductible.
Tax I.D. #46-4088054

Help Us Feed the Needy

During the Holidays
• Proceeds go to area food banks and needy families.
• We will accept cash donations to a charity of the giver's choice and distribute the money as requested.
• Write a check to a family or charity of your choice and we will deliver the donation on your behalf.

December 5th, 2015
Jambalaya and white beans
will be served for
$10 a plate from 11am till.

Come out and support a very worthy cause!
Location - Gonzales Country Club
Address - 12042 West Main Street
Gonzales, LA 70737
I need your help. We Feed the Needy for
Christmas each year. I need each of my
friends and supporters to ask 1 new
person or business to help the cause.
Thomas “BAMA” Aldridge
TO HELP NEEDY FAMILIES CONTACT: BAMA 241-0804
• RANDALL 270-4443 • WAYNE 715-3771

16

17

Helping People Get Home Safe
Uber. The app that has taken
the world by storm has found
its way into music, movies, and
newsbroadcasts.
What is Uber? Uber is the
ride sharing app that allows
people to order a "personal
driver" within minutes. You
simply open the app, request a
ride where you are located, and
confirm. That's it, and within
minutes a driver will pull up
and pick you up. Before you
confirm your request, you can
estimate what your fare will be
and users will discover that rates

are often cheaper than a taxi.
Local users can choose between
UberX, UberXL, and Uber
SELECT. Uber X is a four door
car that can seat up to four
passengers. Uber XL can seat
up to 7 passengers, and Uber
Select are luxury vehicles.
Uber is available all over the
world. Baton Rouge and New
Orleans are no exception to this
availability, but what you may
not have realized is that Uber is
available in Ascension Parish.
Opening the app you will often
find drivers available and

residents of Prairieville can
often get an UberX. Many
more users can find vehicles
available simply by switching to
Uber XL or SELECT as the
Uber app will increase the
radius for these vehicles.
Popular on LSU campus and
local bars, Uber is seen as a
greater alternative to driving
home and much cheaper than
the consequences after having a
night on the town. However, to
the airport, work, the dentist,
or to simply to go out and
enjoy a drink with their meal
are some of the many reasons
why people use Uber.

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at the
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Uber drivers gravitate to
where they are most needed, so
as more people in Ascension use
Uber, the more Uber drivers
will become available in
Ascension. The greatest
availability in Ascension are
usually Sunday nights as many
people take an Uber down
Airline hwy and into Gonzales
for a night out, while LSU
home games attract the Uber
drivers to campus and make
evening availability limited in
Ascension. However, the more
Uber is utilized in Ascension,
the more available Uber
becomes.

18

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Shuffleboard Table • Golden Tee

Marketing Plan

Developing
Your Strategy:
Overall Formula

Now, how are you going to
promote your business? You
need a marketing plan! This plan
should include how you wili get
prospective customers and
keep them coming back.

by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE

Developing your business
strategy… it’s probably a concept
that makes your head spin.
Maybe you have recently come
to conclusion that your business
idea is all over the place. Well,
do not be afraid.
In this first installment of
“Developing Your Strategy,” we
will discuss the importance of
overall strategy development
for your business.
Now, the first thing you have
to understand is that a good
business strategy is hard to
develop.

Oftentimes, strategy efforts are
rushed and that makes strategies
flawed from the beginning.
Therefore, we have formulated
several steps you can follow to
execute a solidified business
strategy.

Elevator Pitch

What’s an elevator pitch you ask?
Simply stated, it is a concise
description of your business. It’s
the short speech you or your
employees can give to promote
your company quickly. This should
be updated as often as annually.

Team

strengths, weaknesses,
opportunities and threats of your
business. A SWOT will help you
discover your own strengths you
must develop to improve your
company. Completing this analysis
will also help you best achieve
your growth goals.

Goals

This is a critical component of
your strategy development.
Defining and achieving goals
are what makes companies
successful.

First, determine your 5-year or
long-term goals. Next, identify
what you want to achieve within
the next year.

Work backwards again two or
three more times to figure out
what you want to do in the next
quarter and the next month.
Key Performance Indicators
Key Performance Indicators are
also known as KPIs. These are
metrics companies use to
measure how it is performing.

Once your plan is defined, you
need individuals to help you
carry out your strategy. In the
team section, you should list
current employees. You should
also identify the types of people
you should hire to achieve
your goals.
At dezinsINTERACTIVE, we
measure our success on a
monthly basis. For example, we
determine how many websites
we launched and how many
design comps were approved.
Other KPIs may be website
visitors, contracts signed or
total sales.

Research Your
Industry

You also need to do some
research about your industry.
Make sure your market size is
growing. This may identify new
growth opportunities as well.

Analyze Your
Competition

Find out who your competitors
are. Take time to list their
strengths and weaknesses. Use
these lists to determine where
you stand above and find ways to
gain more advantages.

Mission Statement

Each company should have a
mission statement…and believe
it or not, yours is no different.
For many internal decisions, your
mission statement will help
employees make choices in-line
with helping the company reach
its mission.

SWOT

In addition, you should also
include a SWOT analysis in your
strategic plan. These are the

19

Operations Plan

This portion of your strategy
plan will help bring your goals
and opportunities to fruition. It is
where you organize individual
projects and how they will be
completed. A Gantt chart may be
helpful in doing this section.

Executive Summary

Finally, your executive summary
should be done last. This portion
summarizes the other sections of
your strategic plan.
It is important, because it will
help employees, investors and
advisors understand and utilize
your plan.
We hope these steps will help
you begin to develop your
business strategy. Stay tuned
for next month’s strategy
series article.

Diet and
Oral health.
By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD
Your body is like a complex machine.
The foods you choose as fuel and how
often you “fill up” affect your general
health and that of your teeth and gums.
Many dentists are concerned that their
patients are consuming record numbers of
sugar-filled sodas, sweetened fruit drinks,
and non-nutritious snacks that affect their
teeth. These items generally have little if
any nutritional value and over time they
can take a toll on teeth.
Eating patterns and food choices among
children and teens are important factors
that affect how quickly youngsters may
develop tooth decay. When bacteria
(plaque) come into contact with sugar in
the mouth, acid is produced, which attacks
the teeth for 20 minutes or more. This
can eventually result in tooth decay.
Not sure you're getting the nutrients, vitamins and minerals needed by your body
(and your teeth and gums)? Check out the
U.S. Department of Agriculture's Web
site. The USDA oversees the nutritional
health of the nation. The agency's dietary
recommendations are designed to promote optimal health and to prevent obesity-related diseases including cardiovascular
disease, Type 2 diabetes and cancers.
The government's recommendations
recognize that people have different
dietary needs at various stages of life. They
offer guidance for children and adults
based on their levels of physical activity.
Your physician or a registered dietician can
also provide suggestions for your daily
food intake.
Foods that contain sugars of any kind
can contribute to tooth decay. Almost all
foods, including milk or vegetables, have
some type of sugar. However, they shouldn't be removed from our diets because
many of them contain important nutrients. And they add pleasure to eating. To
help control the amount of sugar you consume, read food labels and choose foods
and beverages that are low in added sugars. Added sugars often are present in soft

drinks, candy, cookies and pastries.
If your diet lacks certain nutrients, it may
be more difficult for tissues in your mouth
to resist infection. This may contribute to
periodontal (gum) disease, a major cause
of tooth loss in adults. Although poor
nutrition does not cause periodontal disease directly, many researchers believe that
the disease progresses faster and could be
more severe in people with nutrient-poor
diets

What can you do?
• Maintain a healthy diet.
• Make sure water is readily available.
• Limit the number of between-meal
snacks. When you must snack, choose
nutritious foods that are low in sugar.
• Brush thoroughly twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste that has the American
Dental Association's Seal of Acceptance.
• Floss or use another kind of interdental
cleaner daily to remove plaque (a thin film
of bacteria) from under the gums and
between teeth.
• Schedule regular dental visits for checkups and cleanings.
• Keep a food diary for a week. Record
every item you eat and drink, including
hard candies or chewing gum that contains sugar. Compare the diary to the food
Pyramid recommendations.

How does the food you eat
cause tooth decay?
When you eat, food passes through your
mouth. Here it meets the germs, or bacteria, that live in your mouth. You may have
heard your dentist talk about plaque.
Plaque is a sticky film of bacteria.
These bacteria love sugars found in
many foods. When you don't clean your
teeth after eating, plaque bacteria use the
sugar to produce acids that can destroy
the hard surface of the tooth, called enamel. After a while, tooth decay occurs. The
more often you eat and the longer foods
are in your mouth, the more damage
occurs.

How do I choose
foods wisely?

Some foods that you would least expect
contain sugars. Some examples are fruits,
milk, bread, cereals and even vegetables.
The key to choosing foods wisely is not
to avoid these foods, but to think before
you eat. Not only what you eat but when
you eat makes a big difference in your
dental health. Eat a balanced diet and
limit between-meal snacks. If you are on a
special diet, keep your physician's advice in
mind when choosing foods. For good
dental health, keep these tips in mind
when choosing your meals and snacks.

What are tips for better
dental health?
1. To get a balanced diet, eat a variety of
foods. Choose foods from each of the five
major food groups:
• breads, cereals and other grain products
• fruits
• vegetables
• meat, poultry and fish
• milk, cheese and yogurt
2. Limit the number of snacks that you
eat. Each time you eat food that contains
sugars, the teeth are attacked by acids for
20 minutes or more.
3. If you do snack, choose nutritious
foods, such as cheese, raw vegetables, plain
yogurt, or a piece of fruit.
4. Foods that are eaten as part of a meal
cause less harm. More saliva is released
during a meal, which helps wash foods
from the mouth and helps lessen the
effects of acids.
5. Brush twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste that has the American Dental
Association Seal of Acceptance.
6. Clean between your teeth daily with
floss or interdental cleaners.
7. Visit your dentist regularly. Your dentist
can help prevent problems from occurring
and catch those that do occur while they
are easy to treat.

What's the concern with
selling soft drinks in
schools via pouring rights
arrangements?

include the promotion of sugar containing
products as well as other non-nutritious
soft drink products. In addition to a singular brand endorsement, it has been
widely reported that these arrangements
oblige schools to allow pervasive marketing to children and include minimum sales
incentives that can influence children's
consumption patterns.

Why is this coming
up now?
Dentists are aware of reports that since
1998 over 300 school districts in 32 states
have entered into pouring rights contracts,
some contracts lasting 10 years - longer
than the term of most school board members. The Association has for many years
opposed targeting children in the promotion and advertisement of foods low in
nutritional value and high in cariogenic
carbohydrates. Also, the Association
encourages its state and local dental societies to work with school officials to
ensure that school food services, including
vending services and school stores, provide
nutritious food selections.

What can kids drink?
Choose beverages that hydrate and contribute to good nutrition. Drinking 8-12
cups of water a day is important and consuming optimally fluoridated water can
help prevent tooth decay. A resource list
of nutritious foods and beverages that
could be sold in schools was developed by
the California Center for Public Health
Advocacy and may be found by clicking
here. The California Center for Public
Health Advocacy resource list recommends beverages that may be sold in
schools including, beverages that contain
at least 50% fruit juice with no added
sweeteners, water, low fat milk and non-fat
milk. This resource list was used to develop part of the 2001 California law, which
establishes nutritional requirements for
foods and beverages sold and served to
children during breaks and through vending machines.

To the best of the Association's knowledge, pouring rights contracts inevitably

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20

Ascension
PREMIER DENTAL

Calvin G. Bessonet, DDS, FAGD

225.673.6910 • www. AscensionDentist.com

With Many Thanks to the Dutchtown and Geismar
Community for allowing us to be Your Community
Physical Therapy Provider for over 8 years.
AND OUR COMMITMENT TO THE
DUTCHTOWN COMMUNITY REMAINS
THE SAME...
• Provide a combination of quality, convenience and experience for
physical therapy services.
• Trusted provider for physical therapy services by physicians and
patients for over eight years.
• Dedicated staff that patients can rely on to be there, every visit,
every step of the way.
• Accepting most insurances for patients.
• Giving back to the community through academic and sports
sponsorships for area schools.
• Continuing to provide the community with the highest level of care
in a state of the art facility.

WE LOOK FORWARD TO CONTINUING TO GROW WITH
THE DUTCHTOWN COMMUNITY IN THE COMING YEAR
IN A NEW FACILITY ON HIGHWAY 73.
Watch for more details about the
Grand Opening in December issue
of Ascension Magazine.
NEW FACILITY COMING JANUARY 2016

Thank You Dutchtown

Stephen Jackson, PT, DPT

Your Community Physical Therapy Provider

36501 Mission Street, Suite A Prairieville, Louisiana 70769

225.744-3631 • Fax 225.744.3647
21

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS
By Linda Melancon

Taking Care
to Care
Pablo Casals, a world renown
cellist, once said, “I feel the
capacity to care is the thing
which gives life its deepest
significance.” As an Elder Law
attorney, I often write or speak
about subjects that include the
word ‘care’ – such as long-term
care planning, Medicare, family
caregivers, and care planning for
special needs children. One of the
most rewarding things I do is
assisting families in securing
needed care for their loved ones.
It’s always heartbreaking,
though, to see friends and family
members feel helpless when loved
ones are taken advantage of by
those purporting to care for
them. That’s why, in honor of

November being National
Alzheimer’s Disease Month,
National Family Caregivers
Month, National Home Care and
Hospice Month, and National
Long-Term Care Awareness
Month, I want to share two
often-overlooked resources
available to those who are
seeking the best quality of care
for their loved ones.
Have you ever heard of an
ombudsman? If your answer is
no, you’re not alone. Even many
who have heard of them don’t
fully understand their role. I
recently met with a network of
professional elder care providers
from across the greater Baton
Rouge area to hear from a local
ombudsman. The room was
packed as we gathered to listen
to her speak about her role.
Some of the attending
professionals were hearing this
information for the first time
even though they work with the
elderly every day.
‘Ombudsman’ is a Swedish
word that means “citizen
representative.” According to the
Louisiana Governor’s Office of
Elderly Affairs (GOEA),
ombudsmen work with residents,
their families, community
organizations, and other
interested parties to address
concerns that affect the lives of
residents at long-term care
facilities. Through the GOEA,

Louisiana has a state
ombudsman, regional
ombudsmen, and at least one
ombudsman in each parish who is
responsible for visiting long-term
care facilities.
Louisiana law forbids any
caregiver at any facility to
interfere with an ombudsman’s
free access to speak with patients
or protect their confidentiality.
While ombudsmen do not
directly prosecute or solve cases
of abuse or neglect, they provide
a voice for patients and make
sure their concerns – ranging
from missing laundry to physical
harm or asset exploitation – are
addressed. Ombudsmen are
trained to recognize and speak on
behalf of resident’s rights, which
are often overlooked or violated
by residents’ own family
members or employed caregivers.
You can call toll free at
1-866-632-0922, locally at
225-342-7100, or visit
www.goea.louisiana.gov to learn
more about the ombudsman
program and how you can help
identify and respond to elder
abuse.
Individuals should also be
aware that a recent Louisiana law
now allows family members or
other interested parties to bring a
civil lawsuit against any agent
under a Power of Attorney
(POA) who may be exploiting a
person’s assets rather than
utilizing those assets for the
person’s needs. While prior law
already directed a mandatary (the
agent named in an individual’s
POA) to provide any information
or an account of actions as

22

requested by the principal (the
individual who named the
mandatary to act on his or her
behalf), it didn’t provide for
circumstances in which the
principal could not request an
accounting because they were
mentally or physically unable to
do so. Act 356 of the 2014
Louisiana Legislature makes
provisions for this while also
protecting against frivolous
lawsuits. Furthermore, concerned
third parties now have another
course of action beyond simply
notifying Elderly Protective
Services when they suspect cases
of exploitation - petitioning the
court under Act 356 to keep a
mandatary from further
expending any of the principal’s
assets until an investigation is
complete.
I am grateful to work alongside
numerous professionals in my
area who are passionate about
providing quality of care to their
clients. As I regularly recommend, individuals planning for
long-term care should consult
with qualified elder law and
healthcare professionals to ensure
that their best interests are fully
and legally provided for.
Ombudsmen and Act 356 are
two additional resources available
to assist in the care of those we
hold dear.
Mrs. Melancon has engaged in the practice of
law in Louisiana for the past 17 years. The primary focus of her practice is estate planning,
special needs planning, elder law and probate.
She is also accredited by the VA to give advice
regarding veterans’ benefits. For more information, please contact her at 225-744-0027.
You may also visit her website at
www.LegacyCenterLa.com

Community
Halloween Night
Celebration At
St. Amant
Volunteer Fire
Department

For more than 19 years, we have developed, owned and
managed senior housing communities throughout
Louisiana and Georgia that provide alternative living
arrangements for seniors combining wellness, independence
and personal care in a warm dignified setting with over
100 years of personal and professional experience.

“COME JOIN OUR AZALEA FAMILY AND LET
Night around 5:30 PM. Over
200 children attended the
Annual Event. The St. Amant
Community children received
fire prevention hand outs, hot
dogs, hamburgers, and bags
of candy. The Annual Event

St. Amant – It was all smiles
for the St. Amant community
children, at the “Safe
Halloween” gathering at the
St. Amant Volunteer Fire
Department, stated Chief
Officer James E. LeBlanc.

According to St. Amant Fire
Department Ladies Auxiliary
President Sherri Jenkins, St.
Amant families started gathering at the fire station Friday

2305 S. Purpera Avenue, Gonzales, LA 70737 • 225.644.1028

US BE YOUR NEW HOME AWAY FROM HOME!”

which ran from 6PM to 8PM
provided a safe Halloween
experience for our area children, stated LeBlanc.

Children were playing games,
taking fire truck tours
and filling their bags
with candy. The St.
Amant Volunteer
Firefighters reminded
the children to stay
alert when walking,
reminded them to
watch for vehicles and
to wear light colored,
flame retardant costumes.
www.stamantfire.com

Like us on face book:
St. Amant Volunteer
Fire Department
23

CLEARLY THE
LEADER IN LIFE
EXPERIENCE!
• 44 years married to Selma Guillot Matassa,
3 children and 8 grandchildren
• Member of Ministries, St. Theresa Catholic
Church and Past President of St. Theresa School

Board
• Member of Founding Committee that started
St. John’s Elementary School
• Member and past president, St. Joseph’s
Society
• Member of Knights of Columbus (4th
Degree) and Mayor’s Prayer Breakfast

CLEARLY THE PREPARED
CANDIDATE FOR THE
BIG JOB OF PARISH
PRESIDENT
• 20 years experience in private
business...clearly, the leader in business
experience
• 19 years on Gonzales City Council...
• 22 years, Director of Gonzales Health
Department and Supervisor of Utilities,
Parish of Ascension

CLEARLY THE
PERFORMANCE
CANDIDATE FOR THE
TOUGH JOB OF
PARISH PRESIDENT

• Helped CUT property TAXES...the other
candidate has never cut taxes!
• Helped INCREASE fire rating and CUT fire
insurance costs...Kenny is the only candidate
who has accomplished this.
• Helped improve streets and roads in Gonzales
(Kenny’s ready to do the same for our parish.)
• Helping to lead innovative effort to 4 LANE
HIGHWAY ON HWY. 941 (LOOSEMORE ROAD)
TO INTERSTATE...(Kenny is innovative in his
approach to our traffic problems.)

KENNY MATASSA HAS A
REALISTIC PLAN, NOT A
POLITICAL PROMISE!
• ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT AND JOBS...
Kenny will increase our efforts even more,
including investment in Donaldsonville to grow
the economy there too. Kenny has been part of
the efforts that have made Ascension Parish the
leading economic investment center in all of
Louisiana.
• NO NEW TAXES, MORE NEW JOBS. Kenny’s
economic development efforts will lead to new
taxpayers, NOT NEW AND HIGHER TAXES.
• WORKING HARD TO IMPROVE TRAFFIC
PROBLEMS. Kenny knows this is the HIGHEST

PRIORITY of Ascension Parish Government. No
politics, no empty promises, but hard work,
sound planning, and innovation.
Kenny is the ONLY candidate in this general
election who will win new federal funding
through the SAFE ROADS TO SCHOOLS
federal grant.
Kenny is the ONLY candidate who has been
working with state and federal officials on t
raffic projects and improvements.

RECREATION FOR OUR
CHILDREN.

Kenny has been deeply involved in the building
of numerous soccer fields, improved lighting at
parks, water parks, and numerous other

recreational improvements. As a father,
Kenny will not stop until our children have
recreational opportunities.

TIGHTEN UP BUDGET
AND KEEP PARISH
GOVERNMENT
TRANSPARENT.

Ascension Parish has a “rainy day” surplus of
$25 million dollars....KENNY IS THE
ONLY CANDIDATE COMMITTED TO
PROTECTING THIS RAINY DAY FUND.

VOTE #71

PROMOTE OUR
TRADITIONAL VALUES.

As his life has shown, Kenny is Pro God, Pro
Life, Pro Second Amendment, pro business
and pro family.

JOIN THE KENNY
MATASSA CAMPAIGN

kennymatassa.com • 644-VOTE (8683)

APSO Motors Division Places in Annual Competition

APSO Motors Division
placed in two categories this
past week in the Gulf Coast
Police Motorcycle Skills competition held at Lamar Dixon
Expo Center in Gonzales.
Ascension Parish Sheriff’s
Office Motorcycle Division
placed fourth place in the
overall team category and fifth
place in the team slow ride.
The 17th annual Gulf Coast
Police Motorcycle Skills
competition hosted by ten area
agencies welcomed 28
different law enforcement
agencies from across the world
and 158 riders. Some riders
traveled from Canada,
Colorado, Virginia, and
California to participate.

Two Royal Canadian Mounted
Police Officers, Ben Lecuyer
and Steph Ouellet, were able
to participate this year, using
two of the APSO bikes to
compete.
This competition started as a
charity event held in
Galveston, Texas in the
mid-1990’s. In 1997 the
competition came to Baton
Rouge because of Chief Jeff
LeDuff asked if Baton Rouge
could host the event, and then
the competition moved to
Ascension Parish.
The competition is not just
held for first place bragging
rights, but all proceeds from
the event are donated to charity. The proceeds support the

26

Dream Day Foundation and St.
Jude Hospital. The funds help
local cancer patients in their

travel expenses and so
patients can have the family
support that is so desperately

needed during such stressful
times.
Hosting Agencies for the
competition yearly are:
Ascension Parish Sheriff’s
Office, Baton Rouge Police
Department, Livingston Parish
Sheriff’s Office, West Baton
Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office,
Louisiana State University
Police Department, Louisiana
State Police, Gonzales Police
Department, Iberville Parish
Sheriff’s Office, Denham
Springs Police Department,
and East Baton Rouge Parish
Sheriff’s Office.

Ssgt. Shane Cannon, Lt. Darryl Smith, Lt. Col. Bobby Webre, Captain Joey Mayeaux, Ssgt. Jared Mullins, DFC Jeremy Watson,
Sgt. Micah Berteau, Deputy Wesley Beck, Deputy Justin Lanoux, DFC Kelly Brown, DFC Steven Coriell, and Major Ward Webb.

The competition is a
weeklong event with much
practice, events, and
networking with other
agencies. On Thursday night,
the APSO hosted a banquet
for riders held at Houmas
House Plantation and also
hosted riders for the banquet
Saturday night that ended the
competition.
For more information on the
competition please visit
http://www.gulfcoastmcrodeo.
com.

27

28

Life and Death
Her first sight of this world was a
lush green forest, another small spotted
creature lying next to her and her big
proud mama standing over her. Baby
girl, baby boy and mama deer enjoyed
the warmth of summer and an abundance of food for the next few months.
As the days began to get shorter, the
food supply began to change to a variety of nuts that fell from the massive
trees of the forest. As the temperature
began to get cooler, their bodies began
to consume more of these nutrients to
keep them warm. For most of the fall,
life had been fairly peaceful with the
exception of a group of wild dogs that
would chase them around at times.
Mama deer always seemed to figure
out a way to outsmart the pesky creatures, but now they were beginning to
have run ins with this two legged creature that always seemed to have an
interest in them. The small family
hated the smell of this new nuisance
and would avoid them every time their
odor was detected. The aggravation of
these creatures eventually made the
family move to a more secluded thick
area deep in the forest where they were
surrounded by water. They would
spend most of the daylight hours in
that location and would only venture
out in the darkness of night.
One night the family came upon an
area with yellow food scattered about
the forest floor. The cold of winter had
set in and this easy food source became
a blessing to the group. For some time
they would only venture to the sight in
the darkness. Winter coldness began to
tighten its grip and the need to keep
warm became a necessity. On a cold
January evening mama deer led her
family to the sight before darkness had
set in. She never heard the loud noise
that put her to sleep for eternity, but
baby girl and baby boy did and they
bolted away to their safe haven deep in
the forest. They returned to the spot
several times in search of her but never
saw her again. They continued to visit
the food site, only at night, until one
day it vanished.
When spring arrived food became
easy to find and baby girl and baby boy
lived happily together through the
warmth of the summer. Mama deer
had taught them well on how to escape
the pesky dog creatures and the smell
of the two legged nuisance had disap-

peared from the woods for months.
Fall came peacefully and leaves
began to fall. During this period, the
brother and sister decided to go separate ways. Baby girl joined a group of
other females and baby boy ventured
off on his own. The smell of the two
legged creatures soon returned and the
group of females always seemed to
avoid them. The days grew shorter and
the weather got colder as time passed.
On a cold December night, baby boy
approached the group of females and
began to chase baby girl around. This
continued on for several days. She had
lost connection with the other females
in her group. Every effort was given to
avoid him, but he would not give up.
She soon accepted his demand and a
new seed of life had been planted.
Winter turned to spring. Spring turned
to summer and some seven months
later baby girl gave birth to a beautiful
spotted doe fawn. And so life goes
on...
In a way it's sad, I must admit. Life
itself can be sad at times. Every creature that lives will eventually die. That
fact you can take to the bank. There's
no escaping it. There's nothing wrong
with the taking of an animal's life for
food consumption. Every steak, pork
chop, chicken, shellfish etc that you
purchase from the store was a living
creature at one time. Our civilization
would not have survived to this point,
and from this point forward without
the use of living creatures. In reality it's
a matter of life and death......

Deer & Hog
Processing
Deboning • Ground Meat
• Fresh Sausage
• Smoked Sausage
• Green Onion Sausage
• Italian Sausage
• Cajun Sausage
• Breakfast Sausage
• Jalapeno & Cheese
available
• Vacuum Packed

Custom Cuts
Available with
Deboning

Tee Wayne's
Cajun Cooking
still offers
full-time,
full-service
catering.

Fried Turkeys
Taking Orders
for Thanksgiving

For all your catering needs
call 225.806.FOOD

Come See Us at
Tee Wayne's Cajun Cooking
Now a Restaurant, too!!

Till Next Time,
Take Only What You Need,
James "Goosie" Guice

Ascension Outdoors Air Times
THE PELICAN - CHANNEL 113
SAT. - 9:00 - A.M.
SUN. - 7:30 - P.M.
MON. - 9:00 - P.M.
EATEL - CHANNEL 4
SAT. - 6:30 A.M. & 1:30 P.M.
SUN. - 1:30 P.M.
WED. - 10:00 P.M.
FRI. - 8 - P.M.
IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN
ADVERTIZING PLEASE CALL
225-485-7997

29

39087 Hwy. 621, Gonzales,
La. 225.644.FOOD
225.644.3065 (fax)
Monday & Tuesday:
11am-2pm
Wednesday, Thursday,
Friday & Saturday:
11am-8pm

Tee Wayne

Tyler

“If I Were King of the World”
by Bill Delaune

If you were expecting to see my
new Thanksgiving song to rival all
those Christmas Classics-well,
Jimmy Fallon has already stolen
my idea. To the tune of Miley
Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball”-here is
the Turkey Day Anthem-“You
made me cook a Butterball, And
then a green bean casserole, And
all you did was watch football…”
You see, there are more
important things on my agenda
right now. I have an election
to run.
While others may be content to
confine themselves to running for
such meaningless offices as Parish
President or Governor of
Louisiana, I intend to go for the
whole enchilada (an ethnic
attempt to get the Latino vote)
and go whole hog or nothing
(gives a folksy, down-home
appearance) to win the only
office that interests me-King of
the World.
But as former governor John
McKeithen used to say in his
North Louisiana drawl, “I’m
gonna need a little hep.”
First of all, we’ll need a musical
anthem that the entire world can
identify with. Remember when
the Beatles did the first worldwide broadcast via satellite in
1968? In what can only be
described as a stroke of genius,
John Lennon chose “All You Need
Is Love” as the one tune to
perform. The song’s message
came through loud and clear in
any language.
But since that one’s already
been done, my regime’s theme
song will be “Joy to the World”not the Christmas carol but the
one made popular by Three Dog
Night in the late ‘60’s. Not only
does the song-written by Hoyt
Axton who went on to play Billy’s
dad in “Gremlins”-promote hope
and happiness, it also supplies us
with a mascot for the campaign.
Everybody loves the hero of the
song’s first verse Jeremiah the
Bullfrog (appeal to animal lovers)
who enjoyed a taste of wine
every now and then. And the
repetitious chorus would have the
entire world singing along from
Lower Slobbovia to Rooster Poo,
Arkansas.
I’m sure Three Dog Night
would not be opposed to a revival
of their classic although I prefer a
local version by Nancy Marchand
of Duplesssis.
Once our world-wide anthem is
in place, I will then start to
appoint my cabinet members.
These will be extremely important
because even when I am King of
the World, I intend to be like
Moses (biblical reference to appeal
to religious groups) and lean on
my staff. So for my first

appointee, I address a world-wide
problem on everyone’s mind
right now…
Depression DespotTony Soprano.
With a little help from this famous
Jersey mobster, we should have
the economy up and running
again in no time.
Sure his popular series’ closing
left a lot to be desired. But you
should see Tony and his boys in
action when the closing involves
debts to be collected.
Can you picture some fat cat
CEO from AIG or Enron sitting
on his yacht in the Cayman Islands

Middle Eastern MediatorDr. Phil.
Oprah’s favorite problem-solver
would have no shortage of business in his first assignment
in Iraq.
But I am confident that in just a
matter of days, the good doctor
would have the Shiites singing,
“Keep on the Sunni side…” the
Sunnis reading Mother Goose
poetry to little children about
“kurds and whey” and the Kurds
playing “Wheel of Fortune”
while trying to buy a vowel from
the Shiites.
Later, Dr. Phil will try to teach
the Iraqis some old Jewish songs

feud between two families south of
the Border by killing every single
person in both families.
“There are the Rojos on one
side and the Baxters on the other
side and me in the middle,”
pointed out the astute
compromiser.
In the sequel “A Few Dollars
More”, Eastwood again showed
his tact and diplomacy by infiltrating a Mexican gang, gaining their
trust and then killing every single
member for the reward money.
The third installment-“The
Good, the Bad and the Ugly” saw
Clint team up with a Mexican
named Tuco for a very profitable
partnership. Eastwood rewards
Tuco at the end by leaving him
balanced precariously on a cross in
a graveyard with a noose around
his neck.
If this isn’t the guy to work out
better relations between us and
our Mexican neighbors, I want
you to tell me who is.
Religious Riter-John Prine.

when suddenly there’s a knock at
the door? Enter Tony, Paulie,
Guido and few other members of
the family wielding Louisville
Slugger baseball bats-the old
models made of ash not maple.
“We’re here to make you an
offer you can’t refuse,” begins
Tony. “We are of the opinion that
youse should return the 90 million
dollar settlement you received to
the taxpayers and nobody will get
hurt. Otherwise, Paulie and
Guido and I are going to take a
little batting practice on strategic
parts of your body sorta like some
of my Vegas crew did to Joe Pesci
in “Casino”.”
A few more stops like that and
we’ll be able to bail out not only
the USA but also several European
countries and the city of
Katmandu.

like “Jew Believe in Magic” and
will say clever quotes like, “There
has never been a good war or a
bad piece.” If his methods work,
then we’ve cooled off one of our
hot spots in the planet. And if the
natives get upset and behead him,
we have a martyr for our cause.
Dr. Phil would have wanted it
that way.
Award-Winning Director of
Immigration-Clint Eastwood.
A firm proponent of Teddy
Roosevelt’s “Speak softly and carry
a big stick” policy, Eastwood’s
“big stick” was often a .44
magnum-“the most powerful
handgun known to man”.
His relationship with the
Mexican community dates back to
the days of the “Fistful of Dollars”
trilogy where he helped solve a

30

Separation of church and state
in my new world order? Never. I
intend to have a religious gumbo
that includes everything from
Haitian voodoo to Willie Nelson
reincarnation.
However, I do thing we may
need to combine some of the
world’s many religions into just a
few in order to get along and
avoid those nasty little wars about
whose God is better. Call it a
mass merger if you will.
And once again using music as
the universal language, I will call
upon my singer/songwriter buddy
from Chicago to help soothe any
hurt feelings that may occur.
John Prine’s philosophical tune
“Pretty Good” contains a verse
about religion that will become
the cornerstone of my
administration. In the key of D,
it goes something like this…
“I heard Allah and Buddha were
singing at the Savior’s feast,
And up in the sky an Arabian
Rabbi fed Quaker Oats to a priest,
Pretty good, not bad, they can’t
complain.
Cause actually all them gods are
just about the same.”
Prine will be assisted in his
duties by Nashville’s Larry Gatlin
who once offended Christians and
Jews alike with his wino’s lament
in “Midnight Choir”…
“Will there be Mogen David in
heaven-Dear Lord we’d all like to
know,
Will there be Mogen David in
heaven, Sweet Jesus?
If they don’t, who the hell
wants to go?”
Inspirational is not a strong
enough word for those lyrics.

Gender General-Richard
“Kinky” Friedman.
If you think I’m overloading this
cabinet with musicians, you’re
probably right. But remember,
this gentleman received almost
13 per cent of the vote in a
gubernatorial race in the great
state of Texas so he is well
qualified to repair the “gender
benders” that are taking place all
over our globe.
Sure he was voted Male
Chauvinist Pig of 1978 for his
stirring ballad about women’s
rights-“Get Your Biscuits in the
Oven and Your Buns in the Bed”,
but Kinky has grown a lot more
sensitive to the issues since then.
Witness his answer to the
abortion issue during his Texas
campaign.
“I’m not pro-life and I’m not
pro-choice, I’m pro-football”
And his touching takes on
gay rights.
“I support gay marriage. I
believe they have a right to be as
miserable as the rest of us.”
Kinky’s first assignment will be
to establish a women’s beach
volleyball league in Iran.
Ruler of Race RelationsMorgan Freeman.
This one was a no-brainer.
Freeman has shown the ability to
lead an all-black unit in the Civil

War (“Glory”), to deal with a
cranky old white woman in the
Deep South (“Driving Miss
Daisy”) and to straighten out a
tumultuous world as God (“Bruce
Almighty”).
And with that great baritone
voice of his, Freeman is a natural
to do all of our propaganda-oopspublic service announcements that
will air all over the globe.
Freeman has also shown the
ability to work closely with
Immigration Director Eastwood
(“Million Dollar Baby”) and will
not throw in the towel when the
real fighting begins.
Other key appointments will
include…
United Nations Secretary
General-Nick Saban.
If St. Nick can rebuild a
downtrodden Alabama team in a
few short seasons, think what he
can do for the U.N.-an organization in total disarray.
And as far as the “moody”
label unfairly bestowed on Coach
Saban, I beg to differ. Moody
people are happy some of
the time.
Transportation Tsars- Batman,
Spiderman and Ironman.
Hey, these guys never seem to
have any trouble making their way

through traffic. Let’s get everyone
a Batmobile (Isn’t Morgan
Freeman head of Bruce Wayne
Enterprises? See how nicely this is
all coming together.) Or some of
Spidey’s ultra-strong webbing or
maybe a couple of Ironman’s
rockets and we’ll all soar above
the traffic snarls below.
And, by the way, where are all
those jet packs we were promised
we would all be using in the
21st century.
Weather Wizard-Jim Cantore.
One of my first actions as King
of the World will be to change
hurricane season from its current
June through November status to
a one month period in December.
Next our designated hurricane
halter Jim Cantore, who always
seems to know exactly where the
storm is going to hit, will be sent
out to issue an out-of-season ticket
to any hurricane that tries to enter
the coast during the old six-month
period. Violators will be sent back
to Africa to do time-out in the
Sahara Desert where they can
dump all the rain they want to.
Unfortunately, the rare storms
that do come in December will
have to be allowed to enter the
mainland. The advantages will be
that generators will not be needed
to run air conditioners in the
winter, families will probably all be
piled in one house for Christmas

anyway and Santa Claus can use
the wind at his back to expedite
the delivery of gifts.
Now I know what you’re
thinking. With all these duties
being designated, what am I-as
King of the World- going to
have left to do?
The answer comes in the final
verse of our national anthem…
“If I were the King of the
World, tell you what I’d do,
Throw away the cars and the
laws and the wars, and make
sweet love to you.
Joy to the world, all the boys
and girls…”
EpilogDespite this poor attempt at
satire, there is an important
election scheduled for the second
to last Saturday in November.
Whether you vote for the
experience of Kenny Matassa or
the fresh face and approach of
Clint Cointment-whether you
prefer the West Point discipline of
John Bel Edwards or the “Best
Friend of the working girls”
candidate David Vitter-go out
and vote. Thirty-eight per cent
ain’t gonna cut it this time.

Hey Dr. Rob?
Is there a age
limit for hunting
dogs?

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$25 off Initial Pest Control
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A N I M A L H O S P I TA L
225-644-7466 Ascension • 225-924-7096 Baton Rouge
Website www.BeebesPest.com

225.7 44.4905
31

“Two Communities Becoming One
For Our Youth”

WE COME TO YOU!

WE ARE THE SEAFOOD SPECIALIST

Spotless Auto Mobile Detailing is a self contained
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Ask for Sally’s stuff crabs.
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Make an appointment by
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32

Doug & Sally

33

me were of a Democrat or a
Republican. What does a
Republican smell like. Wall
Street? What does a Democrat
smell like? The working class?
Don’t get me started. I think if
there was a hypocritical smell it
would pertain to both.
The last product is a Scent
Crusher Ozone On The Go.
You plug it into your cigarette

Thoughts from Bully

Bizarre
Hunting
Products
Years ago I had a hunting
Buddy put doe urine in an Afrin
spray bottle. He misted it in the
woods while hunting. One
morning he had that Afrin
bottle on the dash board of his
truck. A fellow hunter walked
by the truck saw it. He had

sinus congestion and
reached and
grabbed the
spray bottle for
relief. After the
first squirt the
only relief he
had was of his
lunch.
As I looked
through some
hunting products I came across a product
that I could easily see as an
accident waiting to happen.
This product bottles doe
estrous urine in a hot sauce
looking bottle. Imagine putting
that on your turnip greens
thinking its vinegar or spicy oil.
It’s spicy alright but a little
tangy.
Here is a product that is
supposed to be humorous in an
attempt to get men to clean
and wash up more often.
Comes in a variety of manly

scents including beer, bacon,
baseball glove and more. Made
in USA. Also available in
Football, Christmas Pine Tree,
Cedar Log Cabin, Popcorn,
Bonfire, Cash, Coffee,
Democrat, Fresh Cut Grass,
Republican, Top Soil,
Cinnamon Whiskey.
What? I have a few questions
about some of these scents.
At the camp I generally smell
like bacon as I like to cook
breakfast. I smell like the
bonfire from the night before.
There are some times when
there are whiskey smells floating
around the camp and I’m sure
some spilled on me. The smell
I’ve never had is the smell of
cash. What the hell does that
smell like, Donald Trump.
The two scents that really got

lighter and let the ozone
scrubber neutralizes the air in
the truck keeping your scents
from your cloths to help hide
you in the woods. I think this
product works best on the way
home. It can help me rid my
vehicle from the bacon, beer
hand smell or the doe scent on
my boot. Or heaven forbid a
democrat rubbed up against
me. Maybe the scrubber will
help us all smell independent.

LLC

PROFESSIONAL • RELIABLE • EXPERIENCED

It’s time to clean the rough and
tangled summertime beds and
prepare them for the fall season.

My company is large enough
to do the job right.
It’s also small enough to
treat you right!

Ryan "Shake" Schexnayder

BEFORE

AFTER
Prairieville, La 70769 • 225.715.4594

622.5085
34

44253 Hwy. 42 ( 1 m i l e f r o m P o r t V i n c e n t )

FREE WIFI

11/20 .. SLEDGE HAMMER

Wednesday 11/25 Pre-Thanksgiving Jam
Terry Acosta, Allison Collins and Rusty Yates

Useless Random Facts

with Kellie

Monday Night

DJ MUSIC & KARAOKE

At Lincoln University in Oxford, Pennsylvania, students
with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 30 or higher are
required to take a physical education class before they
are allowed to graduate.

100,000,000,000 tons of dynamite would have to be
detonated every second to match the energy produced
by the sun.

Giraffes sleep only 1.9 hours a day in five- to 10-minute
sessions. Koalas, however, are the longest-sleeping
mammals, sleeping up to 22 hours a day.

Most sharks are born alive (viviparous). There are two ways
a pup can grow inside the mother. In some sharks, the
embryos feed on the yolk attached to their bellies. Other
species have an umbilical cord that connects to a mother’s
blood supply. A mother shark can give birth to up to 48
pups in one litter. The pups are usually born tail first and
might rest beside their mother for a while before swimming
away to fend for themselves.

According to one study, a first-time drunk-driving
offender has already driven drunk more than 80 times
before being arrested.

-Canada is known as the home of large animals like the
moose and grizzly bear, but it is also home to about
55,000 species of insects and about 11,000 species
of mites and spiders.

-Tortoises in the Mojave Desert store up to 1/3 of their
body weight in urine. When they need water, the water in
their urine flows back into their bodies while the waste
remains and expels.

-Prolonged lack of sleep can cause irregular jumping
heartbeats called premature ventricular contractions (PVCs).

-In 2009, consumers spent on average $740 on
Christmas presents.

The sense of smell connects to the part of the brain that
also controls emotions and memories. This is why smells
often evoke strong memories.

$4 Naked Ladies
$2.50 Blue Moon Drafts

Tuesday

Closed Thanksgiving Day

Wednesday

"Thirsty Thursday"

DJ MUSIC/KARAOKE

DJ MUSIC / KARAOKE
$5 Double Wells! 2 for 1 Bomb Shots Sp ecial $5 Bombs Coors Draft Combos

Your Choice • Beer, Wine, Cocktails!!!

$3 from 8-11pm!!!

KARAOKE & DJ MUSIC

Friday

11/20 .. SLEDGE HAMMER
11/27 ... MOJEAUX
12/4 .. WEREWOLF

12/11 .. SOFA KINGS
12/18 .. CHRIS LEBLANC
12/25 .. CLOSED

Saturday

11/21. LSU GAME

Foret Tradition
11/28 LSU Game
Side Effects

12/5 Joel Cooper LSU/GA
12/12. AM/FM
12/19. Nashville South

Every Sunday

SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHT 2 FOR 1
DJ MUSIC & KARAOKE ... $2.75 Domestics!!

Come Enjoy Golden Tee and Ms. Packman
MEGATOUCH, AND POOL TABLES.
E V E R Y D AY A T H A P P Y H O U R ,
T R Y Y O U R L U C K A T R O L L - A - D AY !

“ L I K E ” U S O N FA C E B O O K

Visit our website:www.parkplaceofgonzales.com

1711 S. BURNSIDE • GONZALES • 644-8901
35

"BEST HAPPY HOUR IN THE AREA!
$2.75 DOMESTIC LONGNECKS!"

The 2015 Spartan / Gator Ryder Cup
took place at pelican Point Country Club.
The tournament kicked off at Noon. The
day was full of some outstanding friendship,
friendly rivalry and outstanding
community support.
This year’s turn out was outstanding
playing in the golf tournament from the
East Ascension & St. Amant communities.
As I looked around a saw all the STA
players and their youth it looked like the

PGA Tour. I then looked at the
EA players and it looked like the
Seniors tour. It looks like youth
over came the Senior’s this 2015
Spartan/Gator Ryder Cup

Tournament. East Ascension
Spartans lost to the Gators by 1
point, 73.5 - 72.5.
I’ve taken a good long look at
that point and have heard many

Breakfast
Lunch & Dinner

Holiday Feast
Starting to take orders for

• Fried and
Smoked Turkeys
• Spiral Honey
Hams
• Briskets &
Pork Roasts

FRANK II

37

FRANK III

stories about how even things
were. One gator made a double
eagle which made a extra point. I
heard also after identifying his
golf ball a Gator player went to
order a drink at a booth and
returned to find his ball missing.
Therefore they had to play his
partners ball and they lost the
hole.I myself missed a putt from
20ft that stopped 1/8 inch short
dead center of the hole.
With all that said it was a great
competition however I must
point out one former EA player

38

went over this year to the black
and gold or I may say the ‘dark
side’. David Amedee could have
made the difference for the
Spartans but no, he wanted to
be a Sith Lord instead of a
Jet I Knight. Save me Obewon,
save me.
Many thanks go out to the EA
Captain Bret Hughes and the
Gator Captain Camille Trabeau
for all their outstanding and
dedicated work.

Thanks again Veron Foods for
the po-boys before the
tournament.
Special thanks again go to
Mr. Loyson Porta for taking
care of all the books.
Most of all, thanks to the
dedicated 2015 Committee
members who spent all day at
Pelican Point for another
successful tournament.

30 Years of Top Notch Services

Braud Company Welding & Industrial Supplies
has been providing material to industries for over
thirty years. Our emphasis is on service.
We take pride in same day delivery and
customer service is always our number one
priority and we deliver ontime, everytime.
We have a well stocked walk-in sales counter
where you can purchase any quantity of an item.

Abrasives
Adhesives, Sealants & Tapes
Chemicals, Lubricants & Paints
Display Units
Electrical & Lighting
Electrical Tools
Fasteners, Clamps & Straps
Hand Tools
Oilfield
HVAC
Janitorial Equipment

Marking Tools
Material Handling
Measuring & Leveling Tools
MRO Supplies
Plumbing Equipment
Pneumatics
Pumps
Power Tools
Safety & Security
Welding Supplies

225.673.3370 • Toll Free 888.269.4315 • www.braudco.com
39

I promise
I didn’t know
that golf ball
belonged to a
Gator?

BIGGEAUX’S
TIRES
NOW
OPEN
1 3 0 5 3 H W Y. 4 3 1 • S T. A M A N T

24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service

• All tires from ATV to Commercial Machinery
• All brands to fit autos, trucks and
18 wheelers, including tractor/
construction equipment tires

• Emergency road service
assistance-Commercial Only
• Locally owned and operated since 2004
• New used and retreads
• Great prices!

State-of-the-Art
Equipment

Locally Owned & Operated by
Oscar and Linda Mire and sons
Call for Appointment • 225.644.8473
40

SHOUT OUT FOR THE SPARTANS

The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros
and their Five locations is a solid community.

These Kids Rock!

1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

41

SHOUT OUT FOR THE SCHOOLS

The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros
and their Five locations is a solid community.

These Kids Rock!

1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

42

SHOUT OUT FOR THE GATORS

The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros
and their Five locations is a solid community.

These Kids Rock!

1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

43

Cooking
Gourmet at Home
with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS

Ingredients:







8 oz crab fingers
1 lb whole unsalted butter
2 tsp table salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
¼ tsp black pepper
1 ½ tsp minced garlic
1 tsp chopped parsley
2 tsp liquid or powdered crab boil

Method:
First cut the butter into small cubes and put in the microwave
for 1 minute to soften or let stand at room temperature until
soft. In a food processor or mixer add the softened butter and
all other seasonings. Mix together until all the seasonings are
incorporated throughout the butter. In a sauté pan add about
4 oz of the compound butter and bring it up to a simmer.
Then add your crab fingers. Let the crab fingers heat for about
1 ½ to 2 minutes gently moving them around in the pan.
Finish with a little more compound butter if desired and enjoy!
The remaining butter can be rolled in plastic wrap and stored
in the freezer for later use. This butter works great with shrimp
and crawfish as well.

CAJUN CRAB FINGERS
Executive Chef
Ben Jarreau

Prep Time:
10 Minutes
Cook Time:
2.5 Minutes

45

This Month at Moran’s Marina in Port Fourchon
Moran's Marina • 27900 Hwy 1 • Golden Meadow, LA 70357
(985) 396-2728 • cmoransmarina@gmail.com

We Are Hooking Them Up in Fourchon
Motel 985-396-3900 • Bar 985-396-2713 • Port Fourchon Marina 985-396-2792
Convenient Store/Deli 985-396-2727 • Restaurant 985-396-2729 • Office 985-396-2728

Captain Chris Moran

MOTEL ROOMS • TRAILER CAMPS • RV PARKS • BOAT STORAGE (wet)
DAILY WET SLIPS • MONTHLY WET SLIPS • HOUSE BOATS • BOAT SLIPS (dry)
Inshore Trips

Consist of leaving out at 6 am and fishing for specks and reds, occasionally drum and sheephead as well, arriving back at
the dock for 3pm. Trips consist of live bait and artificial techniques Live bait, ice, tackle, included. If you have a favorite
rod by all means bring it. Food and drinks available upon request.
Colder months we usually fish Leeville and Golden Meadow marshes.
Warmer months we typically fish Barataria and Timbalier bays, beaches, and the western barrier islands.

Offshore Trips

Consist of leaving out at 6 am and arriving back at the dock between 4-6pm. These trips are the most commonly booked
trips, we generally target bottom species, live bait mangrove fish , and troll the rip when in season. Fish you can expect
to catch on these trips include snapper, grouper, amberjack, wahoo, blackfin tuna, lemon fish, dolphin.

For More Information or to Book a Charter Call Today (985) 396-2728

On these trips we generally travel up to 60 miles out.

46

Hi, I'm Captain Chris Moran and I have fished
the offshore and inshore waters of Louisiana
my entire life. I truly enjoy charter fishing to
the point that I don't know who is having
more fun, the clients or me. No saltwater
species is safe from Cajun Made Charters,
whether it be Tuna, Marlin, Wahoo, Dorado,
Shark, Cobia, Tarpon, Amberjack, Mangrove,
Red Snapper, Trigger Fish, Grouper, Trout,
Redfish or King Mackerel. Trips consist of
Inshore, Live/Artificial Trout and Redfishing,
Shallow and Deep Water Bottom Fishing,
Blue Water, Kite Fishing, Overnight Tuna and
Swordfish, Offshore Fly Fishing, and Big
Game Trolling.

The Inn at Houmas House
Plantation and Gardens

"The Great River Roads" newest and most elegant
bed and breakfast.
Our cottages are nestled along an alley of ancient oak trees, where you
will have full access to our world famous gardens to watch the sunset or
relax in a cozy spot and enjoy the gentle breeze from the Mississippi River.
The cottages depict historic structures that once graced Uncle Sam Plantation,
which was located downriver from Houmas House. Each room is complete
with a single king or queen size bed or double queen beds,
marble bathrooms, and a porch to enjoy the view.
Luxurious and romantic, each room is decorated with old world furnishings
allowing you to experience the lavish lifestyle of the wealthy Sugar Barons of
the early 1800's. With all the amenities world class travelers expect today.
Breakfast and a tour of the mansion are included.
Check In: 4pm Check Out: 11am.

Book Now Online www.houmashouse.com
or call (225) 473-9380.

40136 Hwy 942, River Road, Darrow, LA 70725
225.473.9380 • kk@houmashouse.com