Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Written by
Tom Bailey
tmbailey@gmail.com
2.
MR. HALEY (CONT'D)
And this coyote starts flapping his
lips about how he has brought to
town a truly miraculous beast,
possessing a most amazing -- albeit
somewhat nauseating -- talent. And
thats when this coyote kicks the
fucking donkey right in the
stomach, hard as he can. And guess
what happens?
MARTIN
... I dont know... The donkey
shits out the cash -MR. HALEY
The donkey shits out the cash!
Exactly fucking right, Beauregard!
You have heard this one before!
This outburst causes Martin to JOLT upright in his chair.
MR. HALEY (CONTD)
So this coyote, he gets the
merchant to buy that good-fornothing donkey for quite a hefty
sum, on account of this donkey
having demonstrated such a
miraculous talent. And you know how
that works out for the merchant,
dont you, son?
MARTIN
Probably not so well -MR. HALEY
You ever met an Indian?
No, sir.
MARTIN
MR. HALEY
Havent ya? Well they sure know how
to spin a yarn, Ill tell you that.
Martin nods. Haley stands, rounds the desk toward Martin.
MR. HALEY (CONTD)
Now why do you suppose I related
that particular tale to you,
Beauregard?
MARTIN
... To teach me a lesson --
3.
MR. HALEY
Its an allegory, thats right. And
in this allegory, who do you
suppose is the wealthy merchant?
MARTIN
Mr. Haley, I -MR. HALEY
Me. Ha! Thats right. Me. And who
do you suppose is represented by
the greedy little fucking coyote?
MARTIN
Please, sir, you should -MR. HALEY
You! And your real estate
associates, all fuckin scum -Martin SLAMS the briefcase on the desk next to Haley.
MARTIN
You need to open this. Sir.
Haley looks at the briefcase, then back to Martin, smiling.
MR. HALEY
I need to, huh? Yeah? Well. You
give me one goddamn reason, son.
One tiny little microscopic reason
I should not grab you by the scruff
and eject you through that window.
MARTIN
You ever hear the one about the
merchant and secretary?
Haley stops, now slightly confused. Martin slides the
briefcase over to him. He opens it. A look of shock.
MARTIN (CONTD)
You see, there was this happily
married merchant -MR. HALEY
What do you want?
MARTIN
... What every wolf wants.
Haley browses a set of photos. Martin flashes a toothy grin.
FADE OUT.