THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT Smolder is sitting in front of the TV and Alan is sitting on the corner of the desk nearest to the TV. The TV is on and their watching a movie. CHARACTER IN MOVIE (V. O.) (on the TV) They may have the bowling alleys and the fancy cars but we'll always have our freedom. Now let's fight and take back everything the Tomato Republic took from us! Smolder looks over at Alan. SMOLDER You actually greenlighted this movie? ALAN I sure did. SMOLDER I seriously wanna throw my shoes at you right now... ALAN You'd be justified in doing that. The SOUND of someone running up the stairs. BUTTE, age 30, bursts into the room. He has long messy hair and he's wearing a leather jacket. He also has numerous scratches on his face and hands. Smolder jumps up out of his chair to face Butte. BUTTE You've gotta help me! SMOLDER Who's me? BUTTE Me is me. SMOLDER

Me is who? Butte closes the door and rushes to the window. He looks outside for a moment. BUTTE Good. I don't think they followed me. SMOLDER Me being you? BUTTE Ahh... yeah. SMOLDER Well then, how can we help you? Smolder pulls a chair over to Butte and Butte sits down on it. BUTTE Somebody told me you deal with unusual situations. SMOLDER We've dealt with thee occasional zombie tomato. Smolder sits on the edge of the desk. ALAN What's troubling you? SMOLDER Hold on. Before we get to that, how bout you tell us a little bit about yourself. BUTTE My name is Butte Facade. I've been doing some concerts here in Oregon-SMOLDER Concerts? Are you some kind of music person?

BUTTE Yeah. SMOLDER Hmm... BUTTE Anyways, I was doing a concert here in Portland a couple nights ago. (stands up) After the first song a flock of seagulls attacked me while I was on stage. SMOLDER I hate that band! Butte acts out with his hands how the birds attacked him. BUTTE It wasn't long before other birds started attacking. Butte's hand movements get more aggressive. SMOLDER (quietly) Oh. BUTTE Thankfully I made it to my car... Butte jumps on the couch and holds up a pillow as if it was a steering wheel. He pretends to drive a car. BUTTE ...and I was able to lose the birds. I drove back ta my motel afterwards. ALAN Hey, that rhymes! Butte jumps off of the couch, runs over to the door, opens it, walks outside, and closes the door. BUTTE

(entering the room) I went into my motel room and laid down. Butte rushes over to the couch and lays down on it. ALAN (quietly to Smolder) Hmm, so the "car" is now the "bed". BUTTE An hour later I started hearing weird sounds coming from outside. The sounds grew louder and louder until it became unbearable. Butte slowly gets up and creeps over to the window. BUTTE (pulling back the curtains) I pulled back the curtains a little and looked out the window. ALAN (worried) What'd you see? Butte QUICKLY shuts the curtains and turns to face Smolder and Alan. BUTTE There were birds everywhere! ALAN That's creepy. Butte causally walks over to the chair he'd been sitting in before and sits down, BUTTE I know, right? SMOLDER So you think the birds are out to get you. (pauses) If I was a normal person I'd call

you a liar or I'd say you were crazy, or maybe I'd combined them together. ALAN So you'd call him a criar? SMOLDER Exactly... but that'd just be confusing. BUTTE I'm telling you the truth. SMOLDER The truth is like a babysitter. When you're not around it's probably watching TV. ALAN Can you prove you're actually a music artist person? Butte looks at his watch. BUTTE Do you guys have a radio? Smolder walks over to the desk, opens a drawer, and pulls out a radio. SMOLDER Is this a radio? Butte grabs the radio, turns it on, and turns the volume up really loud. RADIO DJ (V. O.) (filtered) ...listening to Hot Richard's Crazy Music Hour. Next up we've got a Canadian... (coughs twice) ...artist named Butte Facade. Here's his latest single, "Hot Wet Garbage"... The radio emits the SOUND of a hotel room getting trashed.

Alan starts screaming. Smolder quickly shoves Alan into the open desk drawer and closes it. Smolder covers his ears. SMOLDER (yelling) That's horrible! Turn it off! BUTTE (yelling) What? SMOLDER (yelling) I said-BUTTE (shakes his head) I can't hear you! The radio SUDDENLY flies out of Butte's hands and hits the wall. The radio goes silent. BUTTE What the hell! In the distance the SOUND of thousands of birds. Butte gets a terrified look on his face. BUTTE Can you hear that? Smolder shakes his head as he pulls Alan out of the desk. Smolder cradles Alan in his arms. BUTTE It's them! It's the Birds! They've found me! Butte runs over to the window and closes the curtains. The SOUND of thousands of birds grows louder. SMOLDER I can hear them now.

The SOUND of thousands of birds grows even louder. Butte presses himself up against the wall and slowly moves around the room. Smolder crouches down behind the desk. SUDDENLY the lights go out. Butte crouches down and crawls over to the desk. He sits next to Smolder. CUT TO: INT. THE ENGELSIKARIOS CORPORATION OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT

Jeff and Drake burst through the door into an open office area. The lights are off and they both have flash lights. Jeff is wearing a ski mask and Drake is wearing a Frankenstein mask. JEFF How'd you find that Halloween mask again? DRAKE Two words. Dumpster diving. They open a file cabinet and start looking through it. JEFF These people deal in some weird stuff. Drake pulls out a file. DRAKE Look at this one. It's labeled Project Wendigo. Drake opens up the file, screams, and drops it on the floor. Jeff picks it up. DRAKE Don't look inside it! Jeff closes file and puts it back in the cabinet. JEFF Dude, you scream like a girl. DRAKE

A big manly girl. JEFF No. Just a regular girl. They start looking through the files again. Drake notices a file near the back of the cabinet. DRAKE Oh! Look at that one. It's got Scullery's name of it. CUT TO: INT. CHURCH - NIGHT

SANCTUARY Smolder and Butte are sitting in one of the pews. Alan is sitting on Smolder's lap. BUTTE I'd really like to know where those birds went. SMOLDER The important thing is they left. ALAN Why are we at a church Smolder? SMOLDER I'm thinking Butte's possessed and where do you go to something exorcized? ALAN I see. BUTTE I honestly don't feel like I'm possessed. SMOLDER That's what it wants you to think. A door near the front of the sanctuary opens and out walks SEZBAK. He's dressed in formal attire. Sezbak notices Smolder and Butte. Smolder waves

to Sezbak and he walks over to them. SEZBAK Can I help you? SMOLDER You sure can. We're interested in an exorcism. SEZBAK (slightly shocked) An exorcism? Smolder nods his head. SEZBAK Do you folks know where you are? SMOLDER We're either in a church or... a poorly designed movie theater. SEZBAK This is a church but it's a certain kind of church. SMOLDER Is it the kind that turns into a robot when aliens invade? SEZBAK No! This is a Unitarian church. SMOLDER Okay... what's that mean? SEZBAK It can mean a lot of things but we don't do exorcisms. BUTTE (to Smolder) What're we suppose to do now? SEZBAK I'm gonna pry. Why do you need

an exorcism? SMOLDER My friend here keeps getting attacked by birds and I think it's because he's possessed. SEZBAK Birds... I think I may be able to help you. BUTTE That's great. SEZBAK Follow me. Sezbak walks back over to the door he came out of earlier and they follow him. He grabs the doorknob. SEZBAK You can't tell anybody about what you see and hear in this room, okay? SMOLDER Oh yeah sure. Sezbak opens the door and they walk into THE BACK ROOM The room is dark and black fabric hangs down from the ceiling. There is an old-timey framed picture of a man connect to a shrine covered in candles. At the top of the shrine is a wooden board with the words WALT DISNEY painted in red on it. Bizarre sculptures sit on pedestals scattered around the room. A desk covered in weird objects sits in the middle of the room. Sezbak sits at the desk. SEZBAK (to himself) Attacked by birds... hmm... Sezbak rearranges the objects on the desk. SEZBAK Aha! I see it.

Sezbak reaches under the desk and pulls out a spray bottle. SEZBAK (to Butte) Come closer. Butte stands in front of the desk. SEZBAK The Lord of Animation blesses you through me... ba ba boo! Sezbak sprays Butte with the spray bottle. SEZBAK There. You're cured. BUTTE Really? SEZBAK Really really! Sezbak stands up. SEZBAK Okay, goodbye. Sezbak starts pushing them out of the room and into the SANCTUARY Sezbak starts to close the door. SMOLDER So that's what you Unitarians believe in? Voodooish crazy crap. SEZBAK Well it changes every week. One time we read the future by reading mousepads. SMOLDER

But that doesn't make-Sezbak slams the door shut. ALAN Do you feel any different Butte? BUTTE I feel slightly wet. SMOLDER Let's go see if it worked. They walk to the door leading outside. SMOLDER (to Butte) After you. Butte opens the door and walks outside. Smolder grabs the door and holds it open. BUTTE (O. S.) So far so-The SOUND of thousands of birds attacking Butte. Butte starts SCREAMING. Smolder and Alan start SCREAMING. ALAN Close the door! Smolder closes the door. Butte STOPS screaming. The SOUND of thousands of birds flying away. Smolder opens the door. ALAN I'm glad we didn't get to know him very well. CUT TO:



Jeff and Drake are sitting at a desk looking through the contents of the file labeled SCULLERY The contents of the file are scattered all over the desk. . JEFF Look at all this stuff. They've got phone records, surveillance photos, and what looks like a page from her middle school diary. DRAKE What's it say? JEFF I can't make out her handwriting. Drake picks up one of the pieces of paper. DRAKE This looks like some sort of contract... and Scullery signed it. Jeff grabs the piece of paper out of Drake's hands. JEFF This is a photocopy. DRAKE I wonder where the original is. Jeff gets a concerned look on his face. DRAKE What's wrong Jeff? JEFF This is dated the same day Scullery disappeared. CUT TO BLACK: THE END