Bin Laden Captured Alive!

Live Wire News 4-1-10 by Dick Edgemont

Osama Bin Laden the "Evil Mastermind of Terror" and "General Bogeyman and Tormentor of the World" was finally captured today when one of his favorite "Harem Slave Girls" who goes by the nickname "Jezebel" alerted authorities to his famous "Den of Iniquity," which was basically an amazing "High-Tech 13 Story Building" buried deep beneath the Gobi Desert in China. Jezebel who was just plain tired of being treated as a mere "Sex Slave," escaped in a Berka gown that she handmade out of old black satin bed sheets from the harem. She somehow narrowly escaped Osama's total domination by posing as one of the "Water Jug Girls" when they left the cave complex to fetch a pail of water. Another major motivation for Jezebel's escape was the reward money. "Yeah sure, the reward money was a big factor. Duh!" Jezebel said, "Now I can invest the million dollar reward in my very own brothel." Speaking of Osama's sexual escapades, she said, "Oh yes, he was quite the "Stud Muffin" to put it bluntly. He kept all the girls of the harem very satisfied. But I came to realize that there was more to life than just "Raw Sex." "Raw Sex" that is without the proper "Fair Exchange" of financial appreciation of course." When I asked her if he had any time to plan major terrorist acts when he was so preoccupied with sex, she said, "Are you kidding me? The guy had a "One Track Mind" 24/7. All he did all day and all night was screw legions of women, that's all he did! This whole notion of him year after year creating these "Scary Threatening Videos" was all just media hype for political gains. Those tapes are totally fake, the man had no time for such nonsense when he was the "World's Number One Sex Machine!" I then challenged her to spill the beans by asking, "So, do you think he has any vital information we can torture out of him in terms of any future plans to destroy "Western Civilization?" She angrily responded, "I'm telling ya, he's a total "Sex Zombie," where the "Ultimate Orgasm" has been his "Major Plan" for years now! The only recommendation I can maybe give you to get him to talk about anything beyond the weather is for you to tickle him with fluffy feathers. Yes! He has a major "Tickle Fetish." Although, I'm sure that the most "Vital Information" you'll ever get out of him is his various unique sexual positions, for he's come up with many new ones to speak of that goes way beyond the ancient Karma Sutra." I had to ask her if she knew for sure that she was actually having sex with the "Real Bin

Laden" after all these years of her slavery. She responded by saying, "How am I to know for sure? Come on, this guy is like one of the "Smartest Evil Masterminds" that the world has ever known! Hello! Don't you think that he had various doubles walking around as fake targets? I know, I know, lots of people including some important folks in the CIA believe that he's been dead ever since the Battle of Tora Tora in 2001. Well, all I can tell you is that the man who made love to me over the limits of my mathematical abilities to count was very much alive when the lights were turned down low." I couldn't help but affront her with the burning unanswered question of if she thought "Binny" as she loved to call him was the "Mastermind & Inspiration" behind the 9/11 attacks on America, she quickly responded, "Are you freaking kidding me, "9/11 Was an Inside Job!" The CIA/Mossad set him up as a "Pasty" for that operation. He shared all this with me in our many "Pillow Talk Confessions." And he really hated being turned into a "Pasty" for those creeps! For your information, he used to work for the CIA as a "Freedom Fighter" against the Soviet Union in Afghanistan. And as you might know, once you work for the CIA, you never retire from working with them. In fact, Poppy Bush was having a private meeting with Binny's brother the day of the attacks! They're the same people who killed JFK! Remember JFK also wanted to have Israel monitored for their nuclear weapon ambitions, nuclear secrets they stole from America! Just one of the many reasons that they murdered him. Look! I'm not the most educated girl on the block, but come on, just look at the evidence of facts regarding 9/11 vs. the "Blind Patriotic Propaganda" that most "Dumb-downed Brainwashed Americans" have suckedup to like babes to their mama's tits from their "Traitorous US Government/Media!" Get a clue Mister! If you insist on believing their "Imperialist New World Order Lies," go ahead and do so at your own peril!" My final cutting-edge question to her was this, "If Binny didn't do 9/11, then just why are you turning him in?" She quite frankly replied, "Why? Because I lost my virginity to this man who "Promised Me the Moon." And to think that I thought that we were in love and he wanted to help me raise my babies vs. having multiple abortions. Jeez! The whole damn harem thing came later for crying out loud! This "Lowlife Scumbag Icon" burnt our love to ashes and now he owes me big time!" And on that bittersweet note....she briskly got into her new limousine and sped-off to Calcutta.....
by Richard Alan Krieger Copyright 2010