Improving Your Emotional Intelligence ppt

Starting point for changing how you view emotions

Emotions and how you respond to them are learned
You control how you feel and respond
Recognizing your own emotions
Appraise yourself
Monitor your emotional states frequently
Enlist the help of others
Appraise yourself
I am happy when
I am sad when
I am fearful when
I get frustrated by
I am angered by
I am excited when
I hate it when
I hate it when
I am lonely when
Analyze internal feelings
Which emotions are easier for me to
express? Which are more difficult?
Why?
What do my body language say about my emotional state
Do my reactions and behavior usually reflect how I really feel?
Did I overlook or ignore cues about appropriate ways to behave/
How might outcomes and relationships have been different had I reacted differently?
Monitor your emotional states frequently
What you are feeling and why you are feeling it?
The connection between what you are feeling and what you say or do
How what you are feeling affects your relationships with others
Enlist the help of others
How do they view you as an emotional person?
How do they view your reactions and interactions with others in emotional situations?
How does your self-appraisal compare with those offered by others?
What are others suggestions for how you can become a more intelligent person?
Recognizing the emotions of others
Appraise others emotions
Learn about emotions
Monitor those around you frequently
Appraise others emotions
Which emotions in others am I able to accurately identify? On which do I need to work?
What distinguishes those situations in which I am accurate in identifying emotions and those which I
am not?
Am I more likely to attend to facial expressions, voice or body language?
Do I assume that others words are accurate reflections of their feelings and look no further for
explanations for their behavior?
How do I react to others in emotional situations?
Learn about emotions
Facial expressions
Eye contact or the lack of it
Tone of voice
Body posture
Difficulty staying in control
Physiological state
Being especially argumentative or quiet

Appearing disinterested or distracted

Emotion

Mouth

Eyes and
eyebrows

Voice and speech

Head and body

HAPPINESS

Smile:
Corners turned
up, possibly
exposing teeth

Crinkled skin at
outside corners
of eyes(crows
feet)

Talk fast, loudly;

laugh

Possibly jumping or dancing about; clapping; le

back;arms open

SADNESS

Pouting or
frowning;lips
and jaw lowered

Crying;droo
ping eyelids;
Raised inner
ends of eyebrows

Talk slightly slower;

lower intensity
possible
slurring;audi
ble sighs

Slumped shoulders;flaccid muscles;hanging

head;remaining motionless or passive

ANGER

Frown;tense jaw
and mouth

Staring:
contracted brows

Talk slightly faster

and very much
higher;abrupt and
tense
articulation;interrupt
others

Head jerks;possible aggressive gestures;flared

nostrils;red or flushed face;body held erect

FEAR

Tense
mouth;trembling
lips;chattering
teeth

Eyes wide
open;fast
blinking;crying

Talk much faster

and very much
higher;tense or
irregular voice or
breathing;possible sreaming

Withdrawal or freeze reaction;squirming;sweaty

palms;rigid muscles

Emotion

Mouth

Eyes and eyebrows

Voice and speech

Head and body

SURPRIS
E

Mouth open; corners turned

slightly up

Eyes wide
open;eyebrows
raised and apart

Stunned silence or talk

loudly, excitedly

May cover mouth with hands or f

DISGUST

Curled upper lip;

Tongue possibly visible

Lowered inner
corners of the
eyebrows

Talk much slower and

lower;grubled chest
tone;guttural sounds

Head moves backward or side to

side;wrinkled nose

Monitor those around you frequently

What others are feeling and why.
The connection between what they are feeling and what they say or do.
How what they are feeling affects your relationships with them.

Understanding emotions
Self appraisal
Perspective taking
Self appraisal
Why am I feeling this way? What information or experiences have influenced how I feel?
How do I typically react when faced with an emotional situation, and why?
Given the variety of ways in which I might react in a particular emotional situation, why do I react as I
do?
What have been the personal and professional consequences of not understanding emotions(mine and
those of others)?

Perspective taking(pretend that you are not you by selecting another person who has a different view and answer
the following question in the manner that selected person would answer about himself)
What information or experiences have influenced my perspective and emotions?
How does my thinking and feeling affect my behavior?
How do I typically react when faced with an emotional situation, and why?
How do I want others to respond when I am in an emotional situation?
Regulating and controlling emotion
Regulating your own emotion
Regulating emotions in others
Regulating your own emotion
Delay responding
Use cognitive reappraisal
Shift attention
Express anger appropriately
Delay responding
Changing the subject
Requesting a time out
Just saying nothing
Cognitive reappraisal
Redefining a situation to produce a more desirable emotional state
Could the situation have been perceived in a different way?
Are there alternative explanations for why the individuals involved behaved as they did?
Would you have become angry if youd interpreted the situation differently?
Most importantly, were your original perceptions accurate?
>Shift attention
Changing the focus of your attention so that instead of concentrating on the distressing problems, you focus
your attention on something less arousing
>Express anger appropriately
Controlling your anger in the heat of the moment takes place on two fronts:
1. Internal
2. External
Internal
Remind yourself that angry is not the image you want to present
Repeat to yourself: I am in control and the anger I feel will pass
Reframe You make me angry to I will deal with my anger constructively.
Externally
You want to present the image that you are composed and in control of yourself, your thoughts and
your actions
I am angry because

 Express anger as disappointments at the persons actions

Balanced any expressed anger with care, concern and appreciation
Dont yell
Regulating emotions in others
Active listening
Reach out
Use humor
Using emotions effectively
Express hidden emotions
Confront conflict constructively
TO SUM UP
Once you have decided to change and improve your EQ, the hard work begins!
> Establish goals
> Commit to change
> Keep reassessing yourself