Plea for Love By: Cyrill Tan

Alone in the darkness of my room, I ask for your comfort. I feed on nothing but nightmares day and night, asleep or wide awake. I can t recall the reason why I have to be in such despair at this moment. What wrong have I done? Infidelity was something my soul could not bear. To betray your trust would be an act of suicide for me. What wrong have I done? I beg you please don t let go of me. Don t let me believe that you have been an illusion from the very start. Stop me from thinking that you re like a falling star whose beauty mesmerizes my well-being for a lasting second but in a twinkling of an eye vanishes into darkness, into oblivion. You told me a time too many that you love me dearly. Are these just empty words then? How can you say the complete opposite to me now after saying these words over and over before? Is this foolishness? Have I been lured into a fatal trap? Again, I ask you, what wrong have I done? I gave you everything my life could afford. I valued you more than anything and anyone in this world. Please don t tell me that I did not do my part well, because every time you ask something of me, I give you a hundredfold of what you ask for because I thought it was what you deserve. You struck me with a dagger, leaving a mark of failure, lost hope and happiness. Everything that causes me pure joy must be named after you. In fact, I think that everything good must be called with your name for you carry out the emotion of joy and gladness so well. I stare at your picture and ask myself for the millionth time, what wrong have I done? Were the flowers I picked up for you of the wrong color? Was the song I made for you out of the tune you like? Were the poems I spent tireless hours with too boring for you? Didn t you like the warm embrace I give you when you complain it was too cold or perhaps the good-night kisses I gave you were too annoying? I was looking back at all the things we have done together and I kept on wondering, what wrong have I really done? Maybe, good things really don t last for too long. I count the days we ve been together and although it falls short of what I hoped, it was the happiest times of my life. Please answer my one question so that I can fix things properly. I no longer have a purpose to live without you, so please answer me, I beg you, for the last time, what wrong have I done?

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