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You think you've got it bad? Imagine having your growth rate being over 5 times what it is. Imagine all those hormones suddenly affecting you one day. It ain't pretty. And neither was my mood. I needed Uncle Emmett to take me out. He was the perfect person to help me release my anger. But for now……… "Jake," I whined. "I wanna go cliff diving. And I haven't seen the Pack in like forever." "Sure, sure, Nessie. I'll take you cliff diving…just let me see the end of this game." I frowned. Jake and I have been best friends since like the day I was born, but sometimes I felt like he just didn't get it. Maybe that's where his feelings stopped. Just friends? I felt more than that, but Jake? And then there was Dad. Yeah he might take a while to get used to the idea of his three year old daughter dating. Okay, its not as bad as it sounds. Yeah, I'm three, but remember what I said about growth rate being over 5 times the normal growth rate? Yeah, I might be three, but physically, mentally, maturely…well I'm more like sixteen. And Jake not paying attention to me just wasn't going to do. "Jake," I whined again. He didn't even more a fraction of an inch, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. "Jake?" I tried again to get his attention. Okay this was ridiculous. "Jacob!" I practically yelled. He jumped and looked up at me with a surprised expression. "Renesmee!" he yelled right back, but he was being more playful than annoyed. Note: more playful than annoyed, meaning, yes, he was getting a little annoyed. "C'mon, Jake! You know I don't get football!" I was reverting back to whining. "For god's sake, Jake!" Uncle Emmett practically yelled. "Would you give her whatever she wants so that the rest of us can enjoy the game?!" I could feel Uncle Jasper trying to calm me down to make me more patient, but I fought back and he eventually gave up. Jake looked a little desperate. "Please, Nessie?" he begged me. "There's only five minutes to go and they're in a tie! It's a playoff game and it's probably going to go into over time and whichever team wins goes to the Superbo—" I cut him off. "Fine, fine. Anything to get you to stop talking sports."
"Thanks, Ness! And I promise, as soon as the games over we'll go cliff diving. Why don't you go get your swim suit on." The relief on his face was boarder line pathetic. "Okay," I said, giving a fake smile, which I knew, that he knew, was fake. I will admit it; I was trying to guilt trip him. I ran home with my super human half-vampire speed (long story and if you don't know shame you for reading this fanfiction before reading the original masterpiece!) Why, oh, why did Jake not get it? Why didn't he see that I was in love with him? Why did he—was that the door? Dad and Mom are home. Time to redirect my thoughts. Jake, Uncle Emmett, and Uncle Jasper are watching a football game. It is hot outside. I want to go cliff diving. My name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I love the color purple. I heard my Dad laugh downstairs. "We're just passing through, Nessie. We're going to be up at Grandma and Grandpa's if you need us," he called up to me. "Okay thanks," I called back down. I heard the door close and when I was sure the house was empty I went back to what I came here to do. If you think your Dad is nosy, can you image if he could read your mind? I always have to spout out random little thoughts to cover up what I'm really thinking. I mean, I know he tries to give me my privacy, but let's face it…I have zero privacy! Thanks to Aunt Alice I had about a bigillion bathing suits to choose from. I smiled evilly and pulled out the purple bikini Aunt Alice and I had bought last weekend. I pulled it on and admired the way it showed off my curves. I pulled on my shortest jean shorts and put a little button down blouse over the bikini top. I tied it at the bottom, which was high above my belly button. I put my purple sneakers on and placed my sunglasses on my head to hold back my long, curly, copper hair. I looked in the mirror. Wow. If Dad could see me right now…well I might never get out of this house again. My legs and stomach were almost completely exposed and the blouse was unbuttoned to show of the bikini top and my figure underneath. Let's see Jake ignore me when I looked like this…well that was as long as Dad doesn't kill me first. But hey, what's life without a little risk? But not that much risk. I pulled a sweatshirt on overtop of my ensemble and ran back to my grandparent's house. I'm guessing that whatever team Jake and the Uncles were rooting for won because I was greeted by cheering and hooting. Jake picked me up and twirled me in a circle, making my head spin for more than one reason. I guess it was worth it to let Jake see the end of the game.
"Alright, Ness, I promised you I'd take you cliff diving, so cliff diving we'll go. Ride or Run?" "Ride," I decided after a moments pause. Jake nodded and we started to head out toward his car. I was just starting to think that I might actually make it to the car before Dad wondered why I was wearing the sweatshirt, when I heard Dad say, "Wait a minute, Renesmee." Aw crap. No privacy whatsoever. And he used my full name so he knew I was up to something. "Yes, Daddy?" I asked in my most angelic voice. "What are you up to, Ness?" He asked giving me a stern stare. Mom was looking back and forth between us, trying to figure out what it was that Dad was suspicious about. "Nothing, Daddy. Why do you ask?" I added the puppy dog eyes to the angelic voice. It had been a winning combination many times before. He looked me up and down. "Promise me you're being safe." I had totally won. I smiled and spoke in a business voice. "I promise you, Daddy, that I am being 100% safe…well except for cliff diving, but that won't hurt me." He nodded and said, "Okay, Renesmee, I'm going to trust you. Don't let me down." He was using his business voice too. I nodded. "I won't," I promised him. "Okay. Go have fun." We got to Jake's car and I just smiled up at him, giving him my pleading face. He rolled his eyes. "Go ahead," he said with a laugh as he threw me the keys. I slid into the driver seat and noticed a small note taped to the steering wheel. I pulled it off and read, Be Safe, My Angel. It was in my Dad's handwriting. I smiled. Jake, who had been reading over my shoulder said, "He had better have known that you were gonna be the one driving because if that note was to me…" I burst out laughing and hit the gas. 2. grounded I slowed down as we entered La Push. "Alright," I said to Jake. "First you take me cliff diving, Then we go see the Pack. I really do miss them."
"Yeah, okay. The guys have been asking about you. Emily and Kim want to see you again too." "Cool." I pulled into the parking lot by first beach. I was most definitely not having second thoughts about my plan to get Jake's attention…but my stomach might have been. It had tied itself in like a hundred knots. "You okay, Nessie?" Jake asked me in a concerned voice. He was so sweet…and warm…and caring… "Nessie?" he asked again, sounding slightly more concerned by lack of an answer. I blushed. "Yeah, I'm fine. C'mon! Let's go cliff diving!" He looked at me with suspicion, but took my hand and we started walking down the beach. To anyone who didn't know us, we would have definitely looked like a couple. But to those who did, we were just Jake and Nessie. Because we always held hands. It didn't mean anything…to Jake…sigh. We got to the cliff's edge and Jake let go of my hand to look down at the water. "Water looks a little rough today. Should be pretty awesome." While he had his back turned I had pulled off my sweatshirt. I went and stood beside him. I made it look like I was examining the water below us, but I was really watching Jake. His expression made me smile. His mouth popped open in surprise and He looked me up and down, his eyes lingering on the little bikini top. "Yeah," I laughed. "Should be very interesting." I kicked off my shoes and took off the little blouse, so I was left standing in my bathing suit and shorts. I ran to the edge and yelled, "Jacob Black, I'm in love with you!" And then I throw myself over the cliff's edge. Wow I handled that delicately. Not. I hit the water and swam to shore. I heard Jake hit the water after me and next thing I knew he was right behind me. It was quiet for about a minute. My hear felt heavy. "I'm sorry, Jake. I…I don't know what I was saying." Oh god, I sounded like I was crying. "Nessie…" Jake said behind me. His voice was surprisingly soft and sweet and… happy? I felt a tingle of hope. "Nessie, I never told you because I wanted to wait until you were ready, but…" What was he getting at? I wasn't expecting this. I turned to face him so that I could see his expression. He looked almost nervous. Was he afraid that I'd be upset by whatever he had kept from me? "Nessie, I imprinted on you." My face went blank with shock. Jake had his head tilted down and was looking up at me. Jake had imprinted on me? I used to dream about Jake imprinting on me. I smiled.
Jake's expression cleared immediately and he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned my head against his shoulder and said, "Jake, explain it to me again. Explain imprinting." "I've told you a million times," he said, but I hit his arm and he laughed and continued. "Okay, I guess a million and one can't hurt. The minute I saw you it was like nothing else mattered. You were everything. Like my whole world revolved around you." My heart was flying. But… "Jake, there is still a part I don't get. Is it just like we're forced to love each other? Like we have to?" "No, it's not like that. I'm not explaining it right. It's like we are perfect for each other and the imprint tells me that, but we could still choose to love someone else. But why would you if your perfect match, your other half was pointed out to you in an extreme way?" When I didn't answer he said, "Nessie? How do you feel about all this?" I smiled at him and pressed my lips against his. They were soft and warm as the moved with mine. When we pulled apart, Jake said, "By the way, I like your bathing suit." I laughed. I was going to have to thank Aunt Alice later. We held hand as we walked back to the car, but somehow it held more significance now. I let him drive to Emily and Sam's house and when we go there it looked like the whole Pack was there. We walked in and Jake yelled, "Yo, guys, we've got something to tell you." But instead of telling them, he showed them by kissing me again. There was hooting and cheering, making me blush. Quil came over and gave me a hug and said, "It's about time you two started going out." I laughed and hugged him back. It was nice spending time with the Pack again. They were a big family and I was part of it. Now more than ever. It was late when we started back to the house. Jake parked in the driveway and we sat there talking for a while…well we talked a little, but mostly we kissed. Jake walked me to the door and kissed me on the doorstep, making me feel like we were in a scene out of a movie. The sweet moment was effectually ruined when my Dad opened the door, with a strange look on his face. He looked a little mad, but he was trying to hide it. He also looked sad and uncertain. Not a great combination. But it got a whole lot worse a second later. And that's when I realized I had forgotten my sweatshirt in Jake's car. He wasn't trying to hide his anger anymore, that was for sure.
3. burning off your anger Dad looked like he just couldn't find the words to describe what he wanted to say. Mom appeared at his shoulder. "Jacob, I think it would be best if you went home for now, but I'm sure Edward and I will be talking to you very soon," she said in a warning voice. Jake got a stubborn look on his face. "No. I think I should be here." "Jake…," I said slowly. "Now might not be the best time to pick a fight." And that's when Dad found his voice. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Go to your room and change out of that ridiculous outfit immediately! And you had best make yourself comfortable there, because you won't be leaving that room for quite some time!" I jumped slightly and quickly mumbled, "Yes, Daddy." I turned to leave and practically shoved Jake out the door. I wanted to get him far away from here or else this whole situation would be much worse. "Go home, Jake," I started to say. Jake was shaking his head before I had the first syllable out. "No, Nessie. I should be here. You know, help you explain." I was running toward the cottage and Jake was running beside me. I knew Dad could still hear Jake's thoughts and would know that he was still with me. Which would probably just make him even madder. "Jake, please?" I pleaded. "Please, go. You are just going to make it worse. Dad has always been a little sensitive about you, but I'm his sweet little angel. Let me handle this, okay?" Jake hesitated, thinking it over. "Fine, Nessie. But I'm coming back tomorrow." "Fine, Jake, fine. Just go now. Don't worry I'll calm them down," I assured him. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and ran off towards La Push. I changed my clothes as fast as possible. If Dad got here and I was still in that…well, to say the least, things would not be good. I put on sweatpants and a T-shirt. What's more innocent than that? And then I sat on my bed waiting. I sat with my legs crossed and my hands in my lap. I turned my head down, so that I was watching my hands. The perfect picture of remorse. It was more than obvious when Dad got home, because he opened the door with so much force that it hit the wall and, by the sound of it, splintered into about a million pieces. "Edward!" I heard my mother chastise. "Calm down. No need to break the house." He only growled in response. I flinched. This was going to be bad. Real bad.
My door flew open and Man! Did my Dad look pissed. "Renesmee," he said, his voice like ice. "Yes, Daddy?" I said in a small, almost inaudible voice. "Where is that ridiculous outfit?!" I pointed to the pile on the floor where the clothes in question lay. Next thing I knew, Dad had ripped them into fifty pieces and had thrown the pieces into my trash can. I realized just how angry he was when he pulled out a match and dropped it on top of them. His eyes softened a tad, but not much as he watched them burn. "I think it's time we looked through Renesmee's closet," his voice was still hard, but no longer icy. He threw open my closet and began sifting through my many clothes. Anything that didn't meet his approval was tossed into the flames. He had only thrown two other articles of clothing to be burned and Aunt Alice burst into the room. "What do you think your doing!?!" she screamed. Her eyes were glued to the burning clothes and she looked horrified. Dad's voice became icy again when he spoke to Alice. "Alice, just the person I wanted to see. What were you thinking when you bought her those clothes?!" Aunt Alice rolled her eyes. "Relax, Edward. She can wear what she wants. She's sixteen. She's immortal. You gonna bug her about what she wears for the rest of forever?" Dad's eyes turned almost black and he growled, "She's three." "Who's talking technically?" Aunt Alice was getting exasperated. "If we're talking technically, then you, me, Bella, we're dead. And yet, we move and drink. Technically, Nessie is three. And yet, she's sixteen." "Technically, I'm still her father! And I say she's not wearing this!" Alice shook her head and came to stand by my mom and me while we all watched Dad throw more and more clothes into the trash bin. I think he reduced my clothes by half. When he was finished he took some deep breaths and his eyes returned to a golden color. "Well? Are you happy now?" Aunt Alice said with anger. "You've gone and destroyed designer clothing from all over the world! A lot of that was one of a kind!" "Alice," he said slowly. "I wouldn't push me right now. Now if you'll excuse us, Bella and I need to speak with our daughter." Aunt Alice opened her mouth to object, but he cut her off. "Alone," he added. Aunt Alice paused. Her eyes glazed over as she saw the future. "Okay," she said after a few minutes, "you won't hurt her."
"Of course not!" my Mom and Dad said at the same time. "Well, I was just checking. I mean, you were angry enough to destroy clothes." Aunt Alice was shaking her head as she walked out of my room. Dad waited until he heard Aunt Alice leave the house before moving. He walked over to the window so that he was facing out away from us and his hand moved to cover his eyes. "Dad?" I said. "Daddy, I'm sorry. That outfit was stupid. Really stupid. I just wanted Jake to…well, it was stupid. I didn't need showy clothing to get Jake's attention. I just didn't realize that. I'm really sorry." He didn't move. In my head I reviewed what I had said. What else did he want to hear me say? Oh Yeah. "I won't do it again." I heard him sigh and he moved away from the window to come kneel beside the edge of my bed so that he was looking me straight in the eye. "Okay, Nessie. I forgive you. But I had put my faith in you and you took advantage of that. So, I'm going to have to ground you. One month." His voice and eyes were serious, but he had called me Nessie instead of Renesmee, so I knew that the worst was over. I nodded, but I heard my Mom say in a soft voice, "Edward…" "Alright," he said. "Two weeks. Make sure to thank your mother, Nessie. She's got better control over her temper." I nodded. But there was still something they hadn't said anything about. Dad, who must have been listening in to my thoughts said, "You mean, you and Jacob dating?" I nodded. My dad sighed. "We knew it was going to happen some day." He was saying I could go out with Jake! But he certainly said it grudgingly. "But," he added, "until you stop growing, we, as your parents, are still in charge of you and you will have curfews." Definitely grudgingly. I hugged them both and said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I had gotten off easy. Unfortunately, my clothes hadn't, but I could live with that. Being stuck in this cottage for two weeks? I wasn't so sure I would survive that. 4. painting and tree climbing If you have ever wondered what sort of torture someone endures in hell I have two things to say to you. First, you are obviously disturbed. And second, I now know what sort of torture it is. It's the simple things that really get you. All they have to do is lock you alone inside a bedroom in a small cottage for two weeks. Torture beyond belief. Okay so maybe I was overreacting. But not by much because I had also been cut off of every form of technology. My dad was seriously going way overboard with this
punishment. He even took away my electric razor and got me those disposable ones. Ridiculous. More important than my razor, was my cell phone. My portal to Jacob Black. Man, I missed Jake. It had seemed like forever since I had seen him. And that's how I knew I wasn't going to possibly be able to survive these two weeks. Because I was already this far gone. It had only been two days. I suppose I wasn't exactly alone. My family was taking turns coming to visit me. Well, except for Uncle Jasper. My Dad didn't want him using his gift to make me feel better about my punishment. Like I said, completely overboard. Aunt Alice had promised to come by every day and her visits usually consisted of her plotting to take me shopping the second my term was up so that we could make up for the major dent in my wardrobe. Aunt Rosalie came by yesterday and brought me twenty different fashion magazines, telling me to keep an eye out for anything I liked. Grandma had snuck me some homemade cookies that were to die for and Grandpa brought me some books he thought I might enjoy. Uncle Emmett was probably biding his time, so that by the time he came to visit I would be half insane already and his tormenting would be twice as much fun for him. But still…Jake. He had tried to come and see me. But Dad was like patrolling the house. Whenever he heard Jake's mind coming anywhere near the cottage he would send Uncle Emmett to go and make Jake leave. I don't know what my parents had said to Jake, but I knew they had talked to him yesterday and I was more than a little worried about what they had said to him. "Hey, Nessie!" I heard Uncle Emmett call from behind me. I sighed. And so the torture continues. I turned to see him smiling hugely at me. I grimaced in return. He pretended to look scared. "Wow, Ness, you could've scared the Volturri away with just one look…if only we had known." I rolled my eyes. "I guess," He continued, "you really are the Lock Ness Monster today, locked up in here and all." "Hilarious, Uncle Emmett," I muttered. "Aw, Nessie, you need some serious cheering up. Like rock climbing or paint balling or kick boxing, you liked that when I took you last time, or maybe…" "Wow, Uncle Emmett, you are totally helping me feel better by telling me all the awesome things I can't do."
He smiled. "Hey, it's not my fault you're stuck in here… You didn't see me wearing a ridiculously tiny bikini." I looked at him for a few seconds and then I couldn't help it anymore. The mental picture was just too much too bear. I burst out laughing. His smile grew. "There's the Nessie I know." "Sorry. I'm just not coping very well with my punishment," I explained. Uncle Emmett smiled evilly. "Which is why I brought you a present." He ran out into the hall and came back with two paintball guns. "Um…Uncle Emmett? What are we going to do with paintball guns…in my room?" I asked nervously as I glanced around at my lavender walls. "Open up your window." Was his only response. I raised an eyebrow, but did as he asked. "Okay," he said, as he pointed his gun out the window, demonstrating. "I bet a can hit a tree farther away than you can hit." I laughed and picked up the other gun. When we were done at least fifty trees had huge orange marks from Uncle Emmett's paintball gun or huge purple marks from mine. He had beat me, but what else was expected? "Thanks, Uncle Emmett," I said as I looked over our…uh artwork. "That was just the sort of thing I needed." He picked me up in one of his famous bear hugs. "No problem, Ness." He put me down and sighed. "Well, I better go now. We're all going hunting tonight and I don't want to keep them all waiting." "Okay," I grumbled. "I wish I could go." "Well, those are the breaks, kid. I'm not your prison guard. Talk to him." I sighed. "I won't even waste my time." I watched Uncle Emmett and the rest of my family run North to hunt until they were out of my sight. I tried my doorknob without hope to find…that it had indeed been locked from the outside. I sat on my bed and leafed through the magazines and books in my room. Plink. What was that? It sounded like something hitting my window. Plink.
I walked over to my window and sure enough Jacob was standing outside with a handful of pebbles. "Jake!" I exclaimed. "Hey, Ness! Can you come down?" he asked with a smile that sent my heart flying. "I wish. I'm locked up like a prisoner. Dad's a little prone to overreaction, you see," I said with a frown. Jake was so close… He looked around at the trees by the side of my house. "Well then. I'll just have to climb up to you." He climbed the pine tree next to my room with ease and I hurried to open the window. Next moment we were hugging like we hadn't seen each other in months. "Uh, Ness? What's with the trees? Why are they orange and purple?" he asked with an amused smile. I opened my mouth to answer, but suddenly Jake said, "Crap! Why are they coming back?" I paused and then it hit me. "Because," I explained, "my parents asked Alice to check on me, via my future, because even though she can't see it well, the closer I come to being full-grown the clearer it becomes. Its almost normal for her now. My Dad must have been reading her thoughts and when she saw that my future had disappeared completely, he must have seen it too. They know you're here." Just as I finished my Dad's voice thundered, "Jacob Black, you cannot run far enough to get away from my anger right now!" "I guess I should go," Jake said, figuring that I would respond the same way I did two days ago, shoving him out the door. But I wasn't thinking like that today. I had put up with my Dad's overreaction for long enough, thank you very much. "No, Jake. Give me a second." I went for the door and turned the knob before remembering that it was locked. "Jake, could you…?" I asked, motioning towards the door. Without answering Jake kicked the door down for me. I ran downstairs and went out to meet my Dad. "Renesmee," he started. "I cannot believe—" But I cut him off. "How much you're overreacting? How you're taking this out of proportion? How you're making a huge deal out of next to nothing? How the only thing you are accomplishing is pissing me—" He cut me off too. "Nessie, you're right." I am? "I mean, I am and its time you start treating me as more of an adult. I said the… dress code malfunction…was a mistake. A stupid mistake. I said I wouldn't do it
again. So trust me and stop with this ridiculous punishment." I took a few deep breaths. "Please," I added. "Okay, Nessie. I guess I do need to treat you as more of an adult. I'm sorry. I have been overreacting and I guess that two days of me overreacting is equal to a two week grounding. You're off the hook." I felt like I had won too easily. Dad answered my thoughts. "Nessie, I don't want to push you away. I hate upsetting you. Well, that and you are right in this instance. My overreactions are well known." "Thanks, Dad," I said das I gave him a hug. "So, Nessie's not grounded anymore?" Jake asked. Dad turned to him. "As for you, Jacob Black, the next time I catch you sneaking into my house I will act first and ask questions later. I do believe that you might remember one of my threat from a few years ago. 'You'll be running around with three legs, dog.' I bet you couldn't climb the tree by Renesmee's window with only three limbs." Jake looked like he was considering. "Nah," he said. "I think I could do it." 5. me? Jealous? I walked into my grandparents' living room. Aunt Alice was sitting with Uncle Jasper watching some TV show about the history of the south. "Aunt Alice…," I complained. "I absolutely need your help. What should I wear?" She smiled. "Ahh…music to my ears. Get Rosalie and meet me in your closet in three minutes." I ran up to the staircase and Aunt Alice was already out the door. "Aunt Rosalie?" I called up the stairs in a normal voice. I knew she could hear me. She was at the top of the stairs in a second. "Yes?" "Aunt Alice said to get you. She's helping me pick out my outfit for the bonfire tonight," I explained. Her face lit up immediately. "Well let's go. There's only two hours until the dog will be here," she said as we ran out the door. I gave her a quick glare for calling Jake a dog…again, and she rolled her eyes at me. Behind us I heard Uncle Jasper mutter, "Women." Aunt Alice had three possibly ensembles laying across my bed, two hanging on my door, one in her hand, and one draped across my dresser. "Ah, Rosalie, what do you think?"
They started examining each outfit together, making lists of the pros and cons. When they started talking about my dresses (the few that had made it past my Dad's raid and the new ones my Aunts had gotten me) I had to remind them that we usually sat on the ground for werewolf bonfires. They both wrinkled their noses, not liking anything that had the potential to mess up a good outfit. My reminder made them discard three of the possible outfits, but they were quickly replaced with four new outfit ideas. Finally, they chose my light blue denim mini skirt with black leggings, a dark pink Vneck shirt with a black tank top underneath, and cute black sneakers. "How should we do her hair? She'll be out in the wind…," Aunt Alice asked Aunt Rosalie. Aunt Rose circled me a few times, considering. "Okay," she said, "We could just give it the wind blown look, you know. So that way the wind can't mess it up, only add to the effect. Or we could do the wind blown thing and then pull one side up with a hair clip and then curl it down so that it frames her face." Alice bit her lip. "I like the second idea. Do you think it would stay, though?" Aunt Rosalie shrugged. "You're the psychic." Aunt Alice closed her eyes. A few seconds later she said, "Well, I can't tell exactly because of the darn werewolves, but it seems like the wind won't be too strong in that general area." Aunt Alice really hated not being able to see the werewolves. So Aunt Alice did my make-up while Aunt Rose worked on my hair. They were geniuses. I looked amazing in the end. "Thank you so much," I said, as I hugged them both. "Thank you," Aunt Alice replied, "for not being stubborn about this sort of thing like your mother." Mom stuck her head around the corner of my bathroom door. "Thanks a lot, Alice. Love you, too." Alice laughed. "We practically had to wrestle you and pin you to the ground before you let us get anywhere near you with make-up." Mom rolled her eyes. She turned to me. "Well, you look very nice, but what's the big deal? You've been to dozens of the pack's bonfires." It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Yes, I've been to dozens of them. But not as Jake's girlfriend. Well, not officially. Quil always used to tease us, but…" "Yes, that sounds very much like Quil."
Jake picked me up in his car ten minutes later. "Wow, Ness," he said. "You look amazing." I opened my mouth to thank him when I heard my Aunts say from behind me, "Thank you." We all laughed. Jake held my hand as we drove into La Push. It was dark and quiet on the rez…until we reached the cliffs. The bon-fire, like always, was huge. We seemed to be the last ones there. Apparently the pack had been a lot smaller when I was born; it was huge now. There were twenty-five wolves. Leah was happy because she wasn't the only girl wolf anymore. There were two others, Christi and Elizabeth. Christi was the newest wolf and it certainly did not escape my attention that she sat rather close to Jacob…a little too close for my comfort. Okay, this Christi chick was getting on my nerves. I knew she was the new one to the pack, but did she not understand the concept of imprinting? Jake and I were soul mates. Soul mates. And she had better stop flirting with my soul mate or I was going to have to have Uncle Emmett go over karate techniques with me. And yes, that was a threat. Okay, I admit that Jake was giving me most of his attention. But it was really pissing me off that she was making damn sure that he was giving her the rest of his attention. And the worst part? Jake seemed completely clueless. Boys can be so stupid. So I sat through most of the bonfire with my fists clenched and eyes narrowed. Except when Jake was talking to me, or holding me against him, or kissing me. Then I was snuggling closer or resting my head against his shoulder or chest. But this girl just would not get it! I might just have to commit murder tonight. "Jake," she said in a sweet voice. "Can you open this soda for me?" Jake…can you open this soda for me? Blah Blah Blah! So weak. I could totally take her in a fight. And then Jake laughs and reaches over to unscrew the lid. She smiles up at him like… like a demon leading a helpless child over a cliff to that poor innocent child's death. After the bon fire she gave Jake a hug goodbye. I mean, sure. She hugged the rest of the guys…but that was just to cover up the fact that she was hugging Jake. Oh, this Christi chick was going to be having a little chat with me real soon. When we were driving back to my house it took Jake a little while to pick up on my mood.
"Hey, Ness? What's up? You okay?" he asked, confused by my annoyed mood. Clueless. So clueless. "Oh, I'm just perfect," I mumbled. He frowned and pulled over to the side of the road. "Ness, c'mon. I know you. You're upset. What's up?" His voice sounded a little concerned this time, but I was still way to mad. "Do you know Christi too?" I asked him bitterly. I was looking out the window. Away from him. "Christi?" he asked. He sounded confused. "What the hell does Christi have to do with this?" "God, Jake. Are you completely clueless?" I asked angrily. "Apparently I am. Cuz I've got no idea what you're talking about, Nessie." I didn't answer and after a few seconds I heard him let out a big breath of air. "Nessie? Ness, look at me." I looked up at him. His eyes were soft. "Okay. I may be clueless. But that's why I've got you…to clue me in," he hinted. I sighed and looked down. "Could you honestly not see that Christi was flirting with you?" There was silence. I looked up and was happy to see that he looked confused. "Ness," he said, "you know I love you. You know I imprinted on you. You know that. What are you getting worked up about?" I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. "Yes. I know you love me and you've imprinted on me…but she didn't seem to get that memo." "Renesmee, Christi is my friend. She's a nice person. She's funny and—" "Okay, I get it," I interrupted. "We are friends. Pack members, so we're like siblings. And even if none of that stuff mattered. I. Love. You, Nessie. You, not some new werewolf, who I've only known for like two weeks. Promise me you'll stop worrying about this." I considered. "If you two are like siblings she must be from the south, because she was totally flirting with you!" "Nessie! It doesn't matter if she was! I love you and only you!" I smiled. Okay I trusted Jake….but I was still going to have to put that girl in her place. I just wasn't going to tell Jake about it. 6. hormones. They’re a killer
Jake had been very sweet and tried to calm me down—I still slammed a few doors later that evening, after he was gone, of course. Yes, doors were definitely abused. Like my grandparents'… "Wow, somebody messed with the Loch Nessie Monster," Uncle Emmett said after the bang of the front door being slammed stopped echoing through the house. Aunt Rosalie was smirking. "Did the stupid dog do something to upset you? Are you going to leave him?" She sounded hopeful. But I was in no mood to tolerate Jake's and Aunt Rosalie's comments about the other. "Aunt Rosalie. Please. Just stop it. I love Jake. Yeah, I love the "stupid dog", so deal with it." My voice was sharp and icy and I was rubbing my forehead like Jake did whenever he had headaches. "Renesmee?" My father's voice was anxious. "What happened? What's wrong?" I gritted my teeth and placed my hand against his cheek. My eyes narrowed as I had to watch Christi flirt with my Jacob. "Nessie…" He said after he had seen it. "You know that Jake lov—cares about you… a lot. You shouldn't worry about this." I almost smiled when he just about choked on the word "loves". Uncle Emmett was, once again, frustrated by our silent communication and the conversation that followed. "Now that you understand," he said to my Dad. "care to let the rest of us in on it?" Annoyance colored his tone. Not wanting to hear the playback I informed them that I was going to go to bed. My mom stood up and followed me out the door. Which leads to the other door slamming…. Like my grandparents' door on the way out, the cottage door, and my bedroom door. It was very therapeutic, however. I did feel slightly calmer. My mom gently opened my door and stuck her head in. "Ness? Can we talk?" I nodded and she came in and closed the door behind her. "What's up, Nessie?" I smirked. "Not much. How 'bout you?" She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Renesmee, you know what I meant." I sighed and I retold her about that scum, who was trying to steal my Jake, my soul mate. "I mean, it's not that I don't trust Jake or anything," I explained. "It's just…" I struggled for the words. "She's pissing me off! She's trying to take that which is mine. And…well, I mean, they do have the wolf thing in common. That oh so special bond going for them," I said grimly with a hint of defeat. Mom shook her head impatiently. "Renesmee…Special bond? What about Jake's imprinting on you? What about that special bond? Not to mention the fact that he's head-over-heels for you." I was refusing to be comforted. "Yeah, but he can't hear my every thought…"
"He can't hear hers either. Well…unless she joined Jake's pack instead of Sam's…" she trailed off. "It's probably just a matter of time," I said miserably. Mom was getting exasperated. "I don't know what you want me to say, Renesmee." I opened my mouth to give my suggestions, but Uncle Emmett's voice interrupted. "She probably wants you to tell her that you'll cover up any murders she may commit in the next few days." I laughed. "Days? Wow, Uncle Em, you must think I have better self-control then I do. It's more like minutes." Then I noticed Uncle Jasper behind him and I suddenly felt perfectly fine…and tired. I was asleep within seconds. I woke up to eight vampires watching over me. "Guys, I complained. I know you can't sleep, but it's more than a little creepy when I wake up to all of you hovering over me." Aunt Alice pretended to be afraid of me as she hid behind Uncle Jasper. "I wanted to tell you that Jake is here and that I may have called him and told him about your little rant." "Alice!" I moaned. "Aunt Alice," she reprimanded and then she put the faux fear back on her face and cowered behind Uncle Jasper again. "Careful, Jaz, you may have to calm her down before she attacks me." I grumbled angrily as I jumped out of my bed and went downstairs to meet Jake. He didn't look very angry. "Renesmee," he said the moment he saw me. I was shocked. He hardly ever used my full name. Well, not seriously, only when he was joking around. "Why did you lie to me? You said you were okay. You promised me you weren't going to worry." I cringed and was horrified to feel tears spill over. "Jake, I trust you. It's her that I—" He cut me off. "If you really trusted me you would really stop worrying. Christi is part of my family. She's not going to go away. You're going to have to accept her. How would you feel if I didn't accept every one of your family members?" His voice was much softer since he saw my tears. My anger flared, however. He was being so hypocritical. "Like my Aunt Rosalie?" I asked with steel in my voice. Jacob looked sheepish. "Well, dumb blondie over there is a different story," he mumbled.
"Oh really, Jake. Because the only difference I see is that my Aunt Rosalie isn't trying to steal you from me; whereas, Christi is." Jake sighed. "Okay, I'll be nice to…Rosalie if you're nice to Christi." Calling Aunt Rosalie anything other than Blondie seemed to cause him actual pain. "Fine," I said as I wrapped my arms around him. "So, um…Ness? I know this might not be the best time, but…" "What?" I asked flatly. "Some of the guys and I were going to go out of town for a couple of days. Maybe run to Canada for some different hunting. None of the girls are going. Just me, Quil, Embry, Jared, and Paul. The girls don't even know we're going." He hesitated watching my face. "So, can I go?" Rosalie almost fell over laughing at Jake because he had to ask my permission. But I was taking it seriously. Maybe it was a good idea to get Jake away from a certain someone for a little while. "Okay," I agreed. "When do you leave?" "Well…" he said slowly. Then I heard the familiar sound of Wolves howling impatiently. Paul. They were all gathered on the very edge of the driveway. I shook my head at him as he kissed me goodbye and ran over to meet them. They all waved goodbye and then they were gone. Satisfied that I wouldn't have to worry about Christi for a couple of days I joined the rest of my family at my grandparents' house. My dad was playing the piano for my mom. I could see Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper in the tree out back. Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett had gone hunting. I was watching a TV show when my dad said, "Seth's coming to visit—oh, wait, no he's not. He's—oh." He looked over at me nervously. "What?" I asked. When he didn't answer I asked again, more sharply. Was Jake in trouble? "He was in wolf form. Jake had finally convinced him to go back to Sam's pack, so he heard when…" he trailed off. "When what?" I asked impatiently. Why was he taking so long to tell me? WAS JAKE IN TROUBLE?!?! "When the rest of the pack found out where the boys were going and when…Christi convinced Leah to go with her to go meet up with them." Jake was not in trouble. No. But his little admirer sure as heck was. I was going to rip her to pieces!
"Nessie, Seth went to go stop her," I heard my dad say, but I was out the door already. I was almost as fast as Seth and he probably wasn't going as fast as he could; no one was in mortal danger. That he knew of. I knew I had promised Jake. I knew he was going to be pissed. Real pissed. Especially if I killed her. But I doubted Seth would let me do that much damage. But was I thinking of any of that right now? No. I was thinking about how satisfying it would be to right off one her legs, like dad always threatened Jake. Yeah. I really was that pissed at this crazy, suicidal chick. Christi wasn't going to be bothering my Jacob, anymore. 7. the calm after the storm I was so pissed. So pissed that I had miscalculated. I was really looking forward to ripping a certain Christi apart. But nooooo, because Seth had had more of a head start then I had thought and by now the practically the whole pack was here. Except Jake and the guys who had been with him. But they should be here any second. So for now I was glaring with all that I had at the enemy, the spawn of Satan, Christi herself. The Pack had created a wall between us, protecting he, so that was unfortunately all that I could do. I sighed and started to stand up, but Sam and Seth shoved me back down…again. Which is when Paul's voice announced the return of the only absent wolves, including Jake. "You know, Jake, I never had girls fighting over me. I don't get why you're all worked up. Seriously, man, its like a dream come true," he was saying. I tried to stand up again when I saw Jake, but once again I was pushed back by Sam and Seth. "Jake, make them let me up," I said exasperatedly with just a hint of fury. It was quite a nice effect, if I do say so myself. Jake looked nervously back and forth between me and Christi. My mouth popped open in disbelief. "C'mon, Jake, you know me. I won't kill her," I smirked a little, "not that I don't want to, but you know I'm not strong enough to fight all of you off. I probably could get no closer than five feet away." Quil snorted. "Well that's insulting and I'm taking it as a challenge. I bet you can't even get within ten feet of her." Jake sighed and said, "Okay, but I seriously do not know what to do with you two. The only thing I can do is make myself very clear when I say, Christi, Nessie is under the impression that you have feelings for me that may surpass the sibling bond that should exist between us and if this is true I must inform you that I could never return such feelings as I am most undoubtedly in love with Nessie. And, Nessie, as you can
clearly observe I have made my feelings quite clear to Christi so will you PLEASE let this go!" There was a slight pause ended by Quil muttering, "Wow, Jake, that may have been the most gay thing you have every said. But hey if that works for you… I mean, I've heard that chicks dig that kind of mushy stuff, but Claire is only five so its not like I would know." Jake almost smiled and said, "Quil, will you please shut up. Now is not the best time." "Hey, I was just trying to lighten the mood. I mean, its not my fault that you decided to have a relationship talk in front of the entire Pack, making everything all awkward…" "You would have all heard about it later anyway," Jake replied with exasperation. "Yeah. After the fact. Not during the whole awkward, embarrassing situation." "QUIL, SHUT UP!" Jake and I yelled at the same time. "Jeez, tough crowd," Quil muttered almost inaudible. "Jake," I said carefully, keeping myself in check, " I am willing to let this whole thing go. On one condition. The she-devil agrees to backing the heck off!" I think I did pretty well with the whole anger thing, excluding that little end tidbit. All eyes turned to Christi. Who promptly ran off into the woods and returned as a wolf. "Oh that's just freakin' great!" I complained, "she tries to calm me down by turning into a form in which I can not understand what she's saying. Just perfect!" "Ness, she's just embarrassed. I can't understand her in this form either. Even if I change to my wolf form. Different Packs, you know. But some of the other guys are gonna change and see what she has to say," Jake explained. I waited patiently in silence. I was surprised that Jake wasn't mad at me so I was acting especially good, though I'm not sure it was immediately obvious. Finally Elizabeth changed and talked to Christi and then finally changed back and said, "She agrees and wanted me to tell you she's sorry and stuff." You could tell from the tone of voice and attitude that I was definitely the enemy to the female werewolves, but, you know, I was okay with that. "Finally, its over! Now let us never speak about this again!" Quil called happily. Later on, after the group had dispersed and it was just Jake and I he turned to me and asked, "So are you happy now, Nessie?" I pretended to think it over. "Happy? I dunno. She still has all four limbs. Content? Yeah, I guess I'm that one."
Jake smiled and said jokingly, "Good because putting up with an angry you is almost too much for one person to bear." He wrapped his arms around me and we danced to imaginary music. The he kissed me gently and when we pulled apart I whispered against his chest, "I'm happy now." 8. first heaven, then hell Jake was still grumbling. He always got really anxious and cranky before visitors came. "Jake, please relax. Alice says that they'll just be here for like three days," I said, making soothing circles on his arm with my fingertips. "Again, though. I mean, how many times do vampires have to just happen to pass by here?" I asked in a not so soothed voice. I sighed mentally. I felt like I had to explain this every time. …Probably because I did. "You make it sound as if a vampire comes by every couple weeks instead of maybe once a year. Besides my family aren't the only vampires who enjoy going outside during the day. We live in a cloud-covered area. We're gonna meet a few other vampires over time." "I really shouldn't mind so much because these bloodsuckers are the red-eyed-killinnocent-people type and I might actually get to rip one to pieces. What bothers me is that I'm supposed to stay away from you while they're here, which is completely ridiculous…unnecessary…unsafe…stinking leeches…" And he was grumbling once again. "Jake, why don't you think about something else?" I suggested. "Like what?" he mumbled absentmindedly, tossing pebbles into the ocean. I decided that I needed to take drastic measures. I picked up his hand in both of mine. I kissed his hand. "Jacob..." I kissed his shoulder, pulling him closer. "Black…" My lips were at his ear now. "You need a distraction," I whispered. He pulled me into his lap and leaned his cheek against mine so that his lips were at my ear. His hand cupped my other cheek. "I think I like this kind of distraction…" he murmured, letting his words trail off. His lips moved across my cheek. They pressed against mine so soft and sweet. And I was floating through my heaven. It was blissfully warm and it was just me and Jake. Just me and Jake…and Quil? "Hey Jake!" he had just shouted. "Oh…sorry. I…uh" Jake sighed as we pulled away from each other. "These distractions," he whispered to me, "I do not like." Grudgingly he turned to Quil. "Hey, what's up?"
"Hey, sorry. It's just Sam and everyone's meeting at his house and they wanted to know if someone could find you so you could come too. ….I can tell them you're busy if you want," he said looking a little embarrassed. "No," I said. "I have to go anyway. See you later, Jake." I pecked him on the cheek. "Bye, Quil. Tell the guys I say hi." I got into a red Infiniti G37 Convertible. My red Infiniti G37 Convertible. It was a birthday present from my parents. I was officially four and unofficially about seventeen. I came home to a mostly empty house. "Hey, Grandpa," I said as I walked through the door. "Where is everyone?" "They went hunting, but not far. They'll be back soon. Until then, it's just you and me," he said with a smile. I hesitated. There had been something I'd wanted to talk to my grandfather about and I certainly didn't want anyone else to be around when I did. Plus, because of the vampires that were passing through Jake wasn't supposed to visit, so there was no chance of him interrupting. I knew I'd probably never get another opportunity like this, but I was nervous and more than a little embarrassed. I told myself to suck it up and said, "Grandpa?" He looked up from the medical book he'd been reading. "Yes, Nessie?" "I was just…wondering about something. For future reference of course. Well not the immediate future but maybe someday…within the next couple years…" I broke off, embarrassment forcing my eyes down. "Nessie, you can ask me anything. Please, don't feel the least bit uncomfortable," he said encouragingly. I swallowed hard and continued without raising my eyes. "It's just kinda personal… about me and Jake…someday…maybe…" "I don't understand where you're going with this." "Well I was just wondering what you thought the possibilities of me and Jake…I mean, you didn't know that it was possible for my parents to well…You didn't know I was possible…I guess what I'm trying to ask is if you think it would be possible for me and Jake to have kids together. Someday, I mean! I'm not talking any time soon, but I figure that if it's possible then I only have until I stop growing and that's in what? Two? Three years?" He didn't answer at first and although I knew my face was red with mortification I looked up to check his expression.
He didn't look angry or disturbed like I knew my Dad would. He was speculating. "I'm not sure, Ness. Although, as you pointed out, I didn't know one such as yourself could exist. It's an interesting idea, though…If it is possible then the child would most likely be half human, but then a quarter vampire and a quarter wolf. Hmmm….is such a combination possible? Especially since our venom kills werewolves. Although, you're non-venomous so that probably wouldn't interfere. Or perhaps one of the genes is recessive and the child would be half human and half vampire or half human and half wolf. No definite way to tell. Maybe it'd be like hair or eye color. Some children would be half human and half wolf and others would be half human and half vampire." I was drawn in by the pictures he was painting, but they kept changing. And he wasn't done yet… "Either way, the child would have the same warm temperature that you and Jake share, as well as the strength. These are all theories of course. I have no way of knowing for sure. I think you're right though. You'd only be able to carry a child as long as you're still growing. Hmm…." I was silent for a few moments absorbing everything that he had told me. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you any more definitive answers," he said apologetically. "No, don't be. I didn't expect any exact answers." I was slightly absentminded while I spoke. I had beautiful images clouding my thoughts still. "Well, you may not have to worry about it. Like we said, it would have to be within the next two years and I could think of a few people in particular that would be very against this," he said with a strange edge to his voice. I was still too preoccupied with my daydreams to really care about the meaning behind his changed tone of voice. "Well," I answered numbly, "there's a reason I waited until everyone, especially dad, wasn't around for me to ask you about this…" "Well, Nessie, about that…" His facial expression was finally enough to pull me to the present. I focused more closely on everything around me, trying to understand his unease. And that's when I realized that someone was standing in the doorway behind me and that someone was probably my father. I slowly turned to face him. He didn't really look angry. Well, he did, but he also looked confused, hurt, disapproving and a variety of other emotions. Basically, he looked like he didn't know how to feel. "Well this couldn't get more awkward," I mumbled with a pathetic attempt at laughing off my mortification.
Just then, Jake ran in saying, "Look, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I think that—" He took in my Dad and Grandfather's expressions and then looked over toward where I was sitting with my head in my hands. "What's going on?" He asked. Well, this worked out fan-freaking-tastically. To make things so much better, Uncle Emmett chose this moment to arrive. He immediately picked up on my discomfort and asked, "Hey, are we embarrassing Nessie? What'd I miss?" Kill me now. 9. segregated explanations I was able to avoid the majority of embarrassing questions because Aunt Alice hurried in with the news that the visitors would catch our scent and be here in five minutes. Jake left, but not before giving me a look that let me know that I'd be answering a few questions later. Everyone else went to their carefully arranged "casual" places, awaiting our visitors. A couple hours later the visitors had already moved on and I was sitting on my bed in disbelief. How had I avoided the Cullen/Black Inquisition so long? I had no idea my luck was this good. I did want to talk to my Mom though. Dad? I thought. I knew he'd be able to hear me easily from downstairs. Can you send Mom up, please? Seconds later my Mom stood in my doorway. "Hey, Honey, what's up?" she asked, though I'm pretty sure she knew what I wanted to talk about. "Can we have Girl Talk Time?" Girl Talk Time had started years ago. It was the only time I could talk to my Mom, Grandma, and aunts without male interference. I heard my Dad, who had obviously been listening, open the front door downstairs. This was the normal procedure. He was simultaneously going to get my aunts and giving us some privacy. Aunt Alice usually saw when we were about to have a Girl Time Talk, but she waited for my Dad to get her anyway so that I could have a minute with my Mom alone. "So, Mom, I guess you know what I want to talk about." I paused. I didn't what to say or what I wanted to ask her or what I should ask her. "What was it like, Mom? I remember everything I can, but I missed the early parts. What was it like right after you realized you were pregnant?" "Well once we got over the shock…it was…different. Everything. You know that I hadn't exactly planned to have kids, but once I realized I was going to get you, that I already had you, suddenly everything changed. Your father was always my first priority. Suddenly he was sharing that position. In an instant I realized that I couldn't
live without you…how could I? You were a part of me…" The look in her eyes made me wonder if she was still seeing the purple walls of my bedroom or if she was seeing something far away. A little more than four years away in the past. "You did change everything about her," my Aunt Rosalie said from the doorway, Aunt Alice and Grandma behind her. "She wouldn't have been able to fight Edward about anything for so long except that the something they were fighting about was you." I nodded. I knew that part. "Because I was so strong I was hurting Mom. But that's not something we'd have to worry about in this case…I'm strong." "Nessie, this all seems rather sudden," Aunt Alice was saying. She would know if it seemed sudden. She would have seen any plans of mine. "What brought all this on? Are you really sure you'd want to do this someday?" I sighed. "I know it's sudden. And I'm not sure. Like I said earlier, I'm just curious. This is strictly a maybe situation. I just want to keep my options open, but first I have to know and understand what my options are exactly." Grandma Esme was nodding her head. "I understand your curiosity and concern, Sweetie. We all do. We've been there. Your Mom with you. Rosalie knows especially what a sacrifice it is to have to give this opportunity up. And I had my little baby boy for one day and I know that no matter how much pain it caused me when he died, I would never trade that day with him. I think it's almost like a survival instinct engraved in all women to want to have that little bundle of joy to love." Aunt Alice added, "But you should be careful when making this decision. I know you have a deadline hanging over your head, but you can't let that affect you. It could cloud your judgment. If you had all the time in the world to do this would you still? Just think about it. I don't want you to make a rash decision because you feel rushed." "Well…" I began. "There is another thing about my deadline that's been worrying me. Let's say that I decided I did want to do this. I'm worried about what would happen if I was still pregnant when I stopped growing. I mean, we don't know exactly how it works. I know my growing has been slowing so that it will come to a gradual end, but there still has to be a moment when I stop all forms of growth. We'd have to be very careful about the timing so that we'd definitely have enough time." "Honey, you have two years. I wouldn't worry about that just yet. First, you have to decide if this is what you're going to do," Mom said soothingly. "Nessie, I know that you know how I feel about this," Aunt Rosalie said slowly. "It still hurts thinking about what I missed, what I can never get. Having you enter our lives has helped tremendously, but it still wasn't the same. Even though I got to hold you so many times, even before your own mother, I could never say that you were mine." She paused with a soft, sad smile. "It's a lot to have to give up. Just consider that."
"Alice, what is it?" I turned to see my Grandma holding Alice's hand as she had a vision. I knew not to worry because she was laughing when she came out of it. "Nessie, apparently the men have felt a little left out. They want a chance to talk to you. They want a male version of Girl Talk Time." She laughed again. A male version of Girl Talk Time? What? That would just be extremely awkward. That's the whole point of Girl Talk Time, to avoid that awkwardness. "Now," she added. I groaned. "Well, thanks, guys. This really helped. You all gave me a lot to consider. Well, wish me luck. This ought to be interesting." I didn't exactly hurry as I made my way to my grandparents' house. They were waiting in the front room. "Hey, uh, Aunt Alice said you guys were, uh, looking for me," I said, already uneasy. "Hello, darling," my Dad said. "We just thought it was only fair if we got our own version of your girl time." Uncle Emmett said, "Okay, we gotta stop calling it that. I refuse to say 'our version of Girl Talk Time'. We have to man it up. Guy Chat Time? Eh, a possibility, not that great. Dude Chill Chat? Definitely not. That one's just gay. Maybe—" "Em, the name isn't our highest priority. Okay?" Dad said. Which just led to a long and extremely awkward silence. "Your right, Edward. That was much better then choosing a name. Sitting through awkward silences always is. God, Jazz, make yourself useful," Uncle Emmett muttered. "Sorry I wasn't being useful," Uncle Jasper retorted. "I hope you don't think that you were in any way helpful. I mean, at least I didn't come up with 'Dude Chill Chat'." Uncle Emmett picked up Grandpa's favorite chair and playfully threw it at Uncle Jasper's head. And immediately I felt much more comfortable. The awkwardness evaporated. "You know, I wasn't so sure it was gonna work," Uncle Em continued. "I thought we had finally discovered an awkwardness even the great Jasper couldn't cure." "That's enough, boys," Grandpa said. I sometimes forgot that he wasn't their biological father. The looks he occasionally gave them were exactly like some of my Dad's looks. The kinda looks that made you stop dead in your tracks because of the authority behind it.
My Dad caught my eye and winked, obviously listening to my thoughts again. "Anyway," he said. "I thought we could discuss Nessie's latest idea." I was surprised by how calm he sounded. Almost like he barely concerned. I knew he was faking big time. "What about it?" I asked, growing confident now that Uncle Jasper had made the atmosphere calm and comfortable. That seemed to throw them for a minute. I guess they were expecting me to just jump into explanations and plans. I sat silently, waiting, hoping that they wouldn't come up with anything and I'd be allowed to skip this conversation. Finally my Dad said, "Well, don't you think you're a little young. You're still my baby, Baby." It took a lot of effort not to roll my eyes. "Daddy, I'll always be your baby. But let's face it. I'm not literally a baby anymore. And I'm running out of time to make this choice." "So, you don't definitely want to do this?" "No, just keeping my options open," I repeated my statement from earlier. There was a long pause. "Sooo…" I mumbled. "Is that all? Am I free to go?" "I guess so," my Dad replied reluctantly. He probably had more he wanted to say, but, thankfully, he was going to let it wait. "You know," Uncle Emmett said. "I really don't think you two needed any of us here for that. I don't think we ever need to repeat this little guy chat time thing ever again. No offense, Ness, you know I love ya. But you can keep the girl stuff between the girls as far as I'm concerned." I was free. No more questioning. I was out of the spotlight, Well, for now. Jake hadn't gotten his turn yet. And he was the most important one. I had wanted to talk to him about this before my entire family. I just wanted to ask Grandpa if it was possible, but that didn't work out so well. Even with my worrying, I couldn't stop myself from being excited to see Jacob. My Jacob. I got such a thrill out of that. My Jacob! I always called him that, but it meant so much more now. I ran to get my aunts. Jake had a special dinner planned for tonight and I wanted to look really spectacular. It was our six-month anniversary of officially dating and he'd been planning for tonight for about five of them. An hour later I was waiting for Jake to pick me up at seven exactly like he had said. I was wearing a red dress and red heels. My hair was curled and pulled up elegantly.
Jake arrived exactly when he said he would. I was surprised to see that he was dressed as nicely as me. It wasn't every day that he wore a shirt and tie. Or a shirt at all for that matter. He shrugged when I complimented his outfit. "Well, knowing your aunts I figured you'd be dressed up and I wanted us to match," he said with a laugh. It didn't matter that I was wearing a designer dress. It didn't matter that Jake had dressed up. It wouldn't matter if this special dinner was just the two of us eating fast food in his garage. It didn't matter that I'd have to explain everyone's discomfort from earlier while I blushed ridiculously red. None of those little things mattered because I was with Jacob, my Jacob, so tonight would be perfect no matter what. 10. Perfection Jake had really outdone himself. He wasn't exactly the ideal of romantic, but this… this was absolutely incredible. Candles…sweet, soft music…a decent dinner (human food can only get so good)…and some close, slow dancing. All lit by the full moon and the sparkling stars on First Beach. It was like a dream. "You're so beautiful," Jake whispered as his head rested on the top of mine as we slowly twirled across the sand( well, to be honest it was more pebble than sand, but sand sounds more romantic). He was towering over me because I had ditched the heels when I realized we'd be on the beach. We were dancing elegantly while dressed for a ball… It almost seemed surreal. Feeling the pebbles under my bare feet was like pinching myself to see if I was dreaming. It let me know that all this magic was really happening. "You're pretty good looking yourself," I murmured into his chest. He chuckled softly. "Oh, Ness…" he said, so quietly I could barely hear. It was so wonderfully warm here, wrapped in Jake's loving arms. It was such a beautiful difference from the downright chilly hugs given by my family. It sounds weird to say, but I love the way me and Jake are almost the same body temp. It's like one way we're alike…a clue that we are meant to be together because we already go together in that way. I closed my eyes, taking in this moment of pure perfection. I've heard that no one is perfect…but maybe two people could be perfect when they were together like one. I rested my head against his chest so that I could hear his heartbeat. My hands rested gently on the arms he had wrapped around my waist, holding me as close to him as possible. "Ness, can I ask you something?"
"Anything," I said, not opening my eyes or moving from this perfect position in the slightest. "What was that about? Before…" he asked cautiously. "We can talk about it another time if you'd rather," he added on when I didn't answer right away. "No, we can talk about it now. At least no one is listening to our thoughts or has supernatural hearing around us now…Well unless one of your brothers is running by…" I replied without actually addressing his question at all. He twirled me one last time and then pulled me so that I was cradled on his lap on the cool sand and pebbles. "Nessie, why are you so worried? You know I'd never think badly of you, no matter what you're thinking. Your newest crazy plan can't be so insane that I'd be horribly against it…and if it is then we can deal with that…but only if you talk to me," he hedged, hoping I'd jump into explanations. I was looking down at the pebbles intensely as I replied. "Well, I doubt very much that you'll be against this plan…" I felt the blush begin as I considered what I was about to say. Yes, I doubted very very much that Jake would mind sleeping with me so that we could have kids, or sleeping with me for any reason for that matter. My blush deepened. This was a slight pause. "Then I am very confused…" he said slowly. I continued examining the pebbles beneath us. After a couple minutes Jake said, in a slightly sarcastic yet soft tone, "I'm sorry, Renesmee. Are you having a conversation with the pebbles of First Beach? Or perhaps me, your loving boyfriend?" I smirked, still not meeting his eyes. "The pebbles and I forgive you for interrupting our conversation." There was about ten seconds of silence. I knew he was trying to hold in his laugh. Finally he let out a half chuckle-half sigh. "Nessie, would you just talk to me?" "Okay," I agreed readily. "So yesterday I was out hunting. And I was hunting this huge buck. I mean, huge. So I wanted to like jump down in front of him. So I jumped into this tall pine tree, but my shirt got caught, which would, you know, be no problem. It would just rip as I passed. But the thing is, this was a really cute shirt so I couldn't just rip it. So what I did was—" "Nessie! C'mon. Be serious. Talk to me about what had you guys looking like you'd rather the vampire demons from Italy were attacking you then be in that room during that conversation. What were you guys talking about?" I was thinking of how to word it when I got a wonderful idea. All I could picture was the Grinch when he gets his idea of stealing Christmas. This too was a wonderful idea, a wonderfully evil idea.
I turned suddenly, wrapping my arms around Jake's neck and pressing my lips to his fiercely. Because my ambush was such a surprise I was able to push him back so that he was lying on the pebbles and I was lying on him. At first he froze in shock, but he eagerly returned my kisses and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me intoxicatingly close. That continued for thirty blissful seconds until his thoughts caught up to us and he remembered that I was supposed to be telling him something. He rolled us so that he was on top of me. He pull away just far enough to speak. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, it is physically painful for me to pull away from you right now—" "So don't," I interrupted, attempting to pull his face back to mine, which was difficult because he was weighing me down. Ugh! Not just difficult, but impossible. I put my best pouty face on. "Yet," he said thoughtfully, "It makes me awfully curious to know what you're avoiding so…energetically. So I'd like to offer you an incentive to tell me: Tell me what I want to know and then we'll continue where I rudely interrupted us." "Oh, no, Jake. You want to talk. You can't have both," I argued. I was hoping this would be enough to make him drop the subject. But he just laughed. "Like you have the self control to resist me." "Oh please, Jake! You highly overestimate your abilities!" He raised his eyebrow. "Oh really?" Suddenly he dropped his head to the "v" of my vneck dress. He began softly kissing his way up to the base of my neck. My heart fluttered. "Now, Nessie Baby, all you have to do is tell me what you were discussing…" "We were talking about you and I, actually…and our future," I answered weakly, my voice a little shaky. He moved so his lips were at my ear. "Oh? What specifically about our future?" He began nibbling on my ear and it took me a moment to find my voice. "Well…the possibility of…of us having children someday." I shut my eyes tightly. He had frozen. I opened them in time to see him ducking back below my jaw line after seeing my facial expression. His lips resting against the side of my throat, he asked, "And what do they think?" He began kissing my neck and I loosened up enough to reply. "They think it's very possible, but they're not sure if it would work because of the way werewolves react to vampire venom. Also, it'd have to be before I stop growing…"
He pulled his head up to look me in the eyes. "Is that what you want, Nessie?" "Yes," I whispered as quietly as possible. He smiled. "Then let's do it, let's be parents." I smiled in relief. The awkward part was behind me. "Okay, but I told my dad we'd wait a little while first. You know, let me be his baby for a while before I have one of my own." "Okay, but you know, Ness, maybe we should practice. We want to get it right, don't we?" he said. "Jake, be serious!" "Actually, I am serious. I love you, Ness. What are we waiting for?" And he was kissing me with such passion that I forgot every worry or concern. Besides Jake was right. All we need is our love for each other. But I was concerned about one thing. "Jake, right out here on the beach? What if someone walks by?" He paused for a minute then stood up, scooping me up in his arms as he did so. He walked me to the edge of the trees and laid us down in the same position as before behind an overturned tree. "There. Now no one could possibly see us unless they were looking. And now, Miss Renesmee, I believe I mentioned before how it is physically painful for me each time I have to pull away, so please?!" In response I started kissing him. My hands moved to unbutton his shirt, but Jake isn't very patient. He ripped it off, literally. "My dress has to survive," I giggled between kisses. "Dad will notice if I come in my bra and panties." "What makes you think they'll survive?" he said in a husky voice. My heart was thudding almost painfully. His hand slipped up my thigh and under the edge of my dress. I shuddered delicately as his hands traveled along the entire length of my body on both of my sides, as he gently lifted my dress over my head. "There," he said. "The dress survived. Now do I have permission to rip everything else to shreds with my teeth?" I didn't mind at all when he didn't wait for an answer. With Jake it wasn't embarrassing or scary. It was like before. It was perfect. Because I was with Jake and we're perfect together.
11. oh my God! I couldn't help feeling a little pang of guilt as Jake drove me home. I couldn't stop thinking about my dad. For one, it was going to be pretty much impossible to keep this hidden from him. That conversation was not one I was particularly looking forward to and that's a HUGE understatement. But also, I couldn't help but think about how he and my mom had waited. They got married first. They did the morally correct and acceptable thing to do. I felt like I had let them down. Its an extremely weird sensation, feeling so guilty while so happy and blissful. Jake was practically glowing with happiness. It was seeping out of his pores. He seemed incapable of removing the huge grin on his face. His happiness added to my happiness. It was a feeling of weightlessness, this happiness. I'm positive I'd be soaring, like Jake was, except for the guilt weighing me down ever so slightly. Its amazing how that slight weight became unbearably heavy with guilt and anxiety as we pulled into my driveway. Jake turned to me, taking in my silent panic attack. Miraculously, he didn't seem worried in the least. In fact, my dad wouldn't even have to read our minds to know what we were guilty of. All he would have to do was take one look at Jake's face. I was dead. I took a look around, taking in my last few moments. Everything looked so peaceful. It was a striking contrast to the chaos inside of me. "You know," Jake finally whispered, "we're close enough that he can read our minds…" I looked at him like he was crazy. "Trust me," I replied. "we'll know when he hears our thoughts." Jake seemed to think it over. It wasn't very comforting because he still didn't seem even a little concerned. It was like he was high or drunk or something, nothing could bother him. "Not necessarily. He could be sitting in there in complete shock, unable to move," Jake finally concluded. I groaned. "Jacob Black, you are soooo not helping." He gently brushed my cheek and his hands tried, unsuccessfully, to pull my mouth up into a smile. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I love you. They know I love you. More importantly, you know I love you. Nothing else matters." I took a deep breath. "Okay. Maybe you're helping a little bit."
His smile widened as he offered me his hand. "You ready?" "You know," I said, "I just got a great idea! Let's run away together! We can live in your car and, and never have to face awkward conversations like this again!" He chuckled. "Yeah, until the awkward conversation that would happen about two hours into said adventure when your family shows up and your dad rips my head off. Otherwise…sounds good! When do we leave?" "Make your jokes, Jacob. But know this, if we ran away at least you could have your head for two more hours. As it is, you're going to lose it as soon as we go inside. God! You're gonna be decapitated and I'm gonna be grounded, again! Why can I not stay on my parent's good side? Do they always have to be mad at me?" "Well, look on the bright side. You get to keep your head. Plus, you're on my good side. I'm so ecstatic with you right now that it more than makes up for your parents anger." I couldn't help but giggle at his overjoyed expression. "There!" he said. "A smile! A laugh, better yet! Now you're ready!" I rolled my eyes. "I'll never be ready. Kay, well let's go." I just wanna say that I started out good. I squared my shoulders and was walking briskly. However, the closer we got to the steps, the slower I got. I was pretty much dragging my feet as Jake pulled me across the front porch and through the door. Everyone was there. They always gather, waiting for me to get home from my dates with Jake. Sometimes I really hate being the center of attention. "There you are," my mom said as we walked in. "We were waiting for you to get home before we went to the cottage…What's wrong?" I think my extreme panic and Jake's concern about that panic masked our thoughts long enough that my dad hadn't heard the…erm news yet. I tried really hard to just think about my fear and guilt, but whenever you decide you aren't going to think about something, that's exactly what you think of. "Oh my God!" my Dad said, his eyes slightly out of focus. "Oh my God!" His hand covered his eyes as if he was trying to block any more of our thoughts. "Oh my God! Oh. My. God." My crimson face would have been a big clue as to what was going on, but everyone was focused on my dad. "Edward, what is it? What's wrong?" my grandmother asked in concern. I was dying. My blush was burning my face. This would be embarrassing enough in front of my parents, but my aunts, uncles, and grandparents? Unbearable.
"There are some things a father should never, EVER have to see. EVER!" I imagine that someone who has just had bleach poured in their eyes would have a similar expression that my dad had now. "I don't even know how to respond to this. Am I angry? Yes. Permanently scarred? Also, yes. I…I can't handle this. I can't think about this!" he seemed to be talking to no one but himself. "Edward!" Uncle Emmett finally said, characteristically losing his patience. "What the hell is wrong?!" "Oh God! Jacob and Nessie… Nessie and Jacob… Jacob… They… Oh my God!" I wasn't sure my dad would ever be able to form a complete sentence again. Some things are just too much for people to handle. Emmett seemed to comprehend exactly what it was that my dad couldn't say. His killer glare fixed on Jake. "Renesmee?" my mother said uncertainly. She looked like she got it too, but was hoping I would deny it. "I… I…" I didn't know what to say. And that's when I turned around and ran out the door. I barely made it down the steps before Jake tackled me. I fell with him on top of me. "Not so fast," he said. Just then Emmett came out and punched Jake so that he flew off of me. "Don't touch her, dog. You need to learn some respect," he growled. "Uncle Emmett!" I yelled. Jake was up in a second. "Respect?" he growled back. "I didn't do anything she didn't want me to. She liked it. If there was anything I didn't respect it was her clothes as I ripped them to shreds with my teeth!" "Jacob!" I couldn't believe they were talking about me like I wasn't there. Meanwhile my entire family watched as my sex life was described. "Sorry, Ness. Loss my temper," Jake apologized, turning to help me up. Uncle Emmett made the sound of a whip cracking. "Guess we know who wears the pants in your relationship." Jake froze. "Funny, neither of us was wearing pants earlier. So, yeah, maybe she 'wears the pants in our relationship'. At least I get to rip those pants off her." Emmett looked about ready to kill Jake. I jumped up between them. "Stop! Both of you!"
"So I see you let your girlfriend fight for you," Uncle Em taunted. "I let her seem in charge now. She rewards me later by letting me dominate her, all of her," Jake retorted. "Jacob Black! Stop it this instant!" I screamed. I vaguely heard my dad behind me saying, "Oh my God!" The rest of my family seemed frozen. Suddenly, Aunt Alice jumped down off the porch and stretched. "Anyone want to go hunting? I could use a breather…clear my head." I shot her a look of silent thanks and let Jake wrap his arms around me as I started crying.
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