This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
A judgment or criticism is really a doorway into our own mind.
It does not take a judge to make a judgment on someone, to look at the way a person chooses to live life and rain criticism down on them. We are all taking this role in life, scoring others on the systems and rules that we ourselves cannot always manage to follow. The lever of expectation seems to go up whenever another person comes into our presence, providing no leeway or guilt with it, only a strong hand to push them on their way. What does this judgment and criticism really mean if we were to strip away at the surface of its form? No one can deny it that they have at some time in their life criticized another for something they have seen or done. Sometimes it can come across in the harshest of ways. Such confrontation does not come without questioning the punishment. There is always a reason for all that is said. The answer to criticism is often justified with a caring endearment. The criticizer might say, “I’m doing it for your own good”, or, “I’m saying it because I love you and care for you and do not want you to be hurt.” In some accounts this might be true, but at other times there might be a deeper underlying cause that even if confronted would not be considered for one moment as the truth. This comes purely from the fact that one act of judgment being questioned by another, usually leads to another persons judgment in return. This is the way we tend to deal with the situation in order to protect ourselves. What is really happening in all of this; what is the factor that we do not really want to look at? If we were to look at judgment and criticism for what it really means, it would refer to the act of not liking what another person is doing. It comes at a time when we do not hold back and tell that person what we think of them. Just in writing these words it becomes clearer the underlying factor of what is really going on. Judgment and criticism is really just a doorway into our own mind, showing us things that we ourselves cannot handle. If we look at another for doing something out of place, it is usually referring to our own problem with the control of the situation at hand. People like to think
that they have control of their life and by doing this they spend a lot of the day arranging things in their world so that the next time they wish to interact with it, it remains the same. This links to the inability to accept change. We all at some stage find it hard to handle certain acts created by another for the fact that it stretches outside our own security zone to which we like to live within. If they do not conform to the order of life we wish to live, we then conveniently criticize and judge the other for what they are doing. It is really just our means of trying to make them also conform to our own ways. No matter how it is seen, as fear or inability to cope with change. The fact that we even judge another comes down to our own control issues and leads to understanding just in the act alone, even if we do not always admit to it. It does not take a great mind to see criticism and judgment for what it is, it comes fast, strong and crystal clear. What is another interesting factor concerning the judgment and criticism of others, is how we all deal with such judgment towards ourselves. If someone were to do such a thing back to us, we would not stand for it, even for one second. We would wither away into our own stress and worry, thinking over the act of the other person as being negative and incorrect. It would not be that often that we would say, “Yes, I agree”. How could we place such judgment and criticism on another if we cannot in ourselves handle such a blow? Do we consider ourselves always above all, that we deserve the right to be the boss? Or is it just another way in order to control our life to all that we ourselves desire? It is one thing to have dreams and desires, but another to make another follow in our footsteps and to conform to our ways. Our choices are our own, and if we do not justify what we say to others how then are we to expect the same in return? There is an easier way to avoid such ordeals and that is to re-evaluate our own reasons for judging another and the acts of criticism that we utilize on a daily basis. We can question the cause of why we need to make another conform to our ways, and at the least if we still wish to utilize such methods of interaction, justify the reason from our own perspective, allowing the other person the chance to question such reasoning. At the end of the day, not matter what we choose, we will never be able to control all our life in this way, which will eventually lead us to the realization that life is change and if we do not accept a little leeway, we might just find ourselves surrounded by bullies, who will find every means in order to protect their own small boundary of security, in order to do the same. Judgment and criticism goes both ways, but it can stop only when we choose to acknowledge that there is difference and change, and that right and wrong is based purely on self justified means. We are not the judge to make choices for another. We are merely another person trying to find our own balance, in order to find a way to exist secure in life with everyone all on the same path to reason. By Stacey T Pollock 28th June 2008