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KIN 365: Midterm Review

How to Avoid Anger? (4)

1) Be the best you can be
2) never make assumptions
o Dont get too attached to compliments or criticism b/c we dont
know how people actually feel towards you
3) never take things personally
o Something triggers the anger of the person mad at you
4) be as good as your word
o Dont break promises
How to STOP anger? (7)

Step back
Count to 10 gather yourself
I am triggered
Recognize it is your ego that is driving the trigger
o Try to find out whats making you mad and decide if necessary to
be mad OR
5) Let it go (not easy)
6) Respond in peace
o Tell them that theyr right and agree w/them even if you dont
==? Kill their ego attack maybe tell them youll discuss later
7) Realize that youre just like them
o What we think about other people, esp. negative aspects, are
things we like least about ourselves
o Realize that youre just like them
Anger VS. Upset
Emotionally anger is an EGO TRIGGER
Physically one owns the anger
Psychically anger is an attack
When angry tense musculature
Showing anger= lack of control your athletes will most likely follow
and be like you b/c youre their role model
Need to find ways to get rid of triggers

If you are angry

Its always an attack against someone or something

Anger is always fear based and its always your fault
This means you can NEVER BLAME someone else for your anger
Its always your CHOICE whether or not to be angry
o To deny this is to let others control your life your life is out of
your control
Anger always has, as its trigger, some baggage we are carrying from
an earlier time of our life.
o Usually it is a self-imposed limitation, and when it is exposed, the
ego defends itself by going on the attack.
The Coaching Experience (9)

1) a position of power (use wisely)

o Your power can affect others in negative ways
2) create a culture w/your group
3) be cognizant of the importance of communication
4) be aware of energy you bring to the group
5) appreciate the opportunity youve been given
6) care about your athletes
o More important than having them like you
o Easiest way to not have favorites
7) help every1 become SELF-LESS
o Not having a self not having an EGO
o If you can get rid of ego athletes will put the team first
8) always be conscious when coaching
9) praise praise praise
o Important for younger athletes

The Coaching Philosophy

1. Who makes a good coach?
2. Essential Characteristics
o Communicator
o Knowledgeable
o Patient
o Approachable
o Organized
o Role model
o Non-judgmental
o Caring about the person rather than just as an athlete
o Consistent
o Personable
What Parents Expect of Sport?

1) to build self esteem


have fun
develop skills
increase fitness
making friends

What parents expect of coaches?



make sport enjoyable

respect children as individuals
be knowledgable leaders
be safety conscious
acting in mature manner
being fair
plan activities effectively

Why children participate in sport?


1) To have fun
2) improve skills
3) stay fit
4) participate in activity at which theyll succeed
5) have fun competing others
6) exercise
7) be part of a team
8) compete
9) to learn new abilities
10) to win

Why Children Drop out of Sport?(6)


1) Not getting to play

o Practiced hard but didnt get to play
2) Negative Reinforcement
o Too much criticism
o Never tell anybody what they dont want to do or did wrong
3) Mismatching
o Safety issues
4) Psychological Stress
o Too much pressure from coaches, teammates, parents, etc.
o Too many things are not controllable shouldnt pressure them
5) Failure
o Losing repeatedly
6) Over Organization
o No time for fun

3 Different Types of Coaches



o No organization doesnt know much about sport

o Likes to have fun
o Not a control freak
o Using sport to create better people
o Win at all cost
o Jst b/c they want to win it all, doesnt mean they fit this criteria
o Some never think about winning or losing but just want to see
team improve and effort (John Wooden)

Coaching Philosophy

1) your style of coaching

2) winning vs. personal growth
o Stance on winning vs. personal growth
3) rules and consequences
o Are your players going to have some ownership?
4) playing time
5) safety
6) defining roles
7) communication
o How are you going to communicate w/parents
o Athletes need feedback
8) integrity of coaching
9) priorities

General Communication Skills (10)


1) Use key points (cue words) in explanation

o Easier to remember
2) KISS principle
o Lengthy explanations are boring and hard to follow
o Need to practice presentations until it is concise
3) Always Express Yourself in the Affirmative
o Always tell your athletes what you WANT THEM TO DO
o If you tell them what you dont want, they will do the opposite
o Never show video of your athletes doing things incorrectly
4) Positives in Public, Negatives in Private
o Dont want to embarrass them in front of peers decr.
5) Keep Everyone in the Loop
o Make sure everyone knows what theyre doing at all times
o Especially with those that dont play that much
6) Thank Your Athletes After PRactice
7) Talk to 3 Athletes Each Practice
o Keep communication b/w coaching staff and athletes

o Athletes need it and want it

8) Make Yourself Available
o Develop deeper connections
9) Ask for Feedback
10) Be prepared

Listening Skills (8)



Remove Distractions (turn away from others)

Look at the speaker
React to the speak
Take notes if possible
Excuse yourself to take notes
Be patient
Listen and Look for What is Behind the Words
Repeat what you have heard in your words

Speaking Skills (6)



Plan what you are going to say

look directly at your listener
say exactly what you mean
be conscious of your words
o Keep it short and to the point
6) Ask listener to repeat what they heard

Points of Communication w/Parents


1) Your philosophy
2) Expectations of Athletes
3) Emergency Procedures
o Contact info
4) Finances of the Season
o Travel commitments
5) What constitutes denial of participation
o Breaking point where child is not allowed to play
6) Advanced Notification of Schedule Conflicts
7) Feedback and Updates

Social Styles Inventory





-Facts and

-to control

Expressives Amiables
- to socialize - to develop

- to be right



-talk facts
and move
slowly so
they can
absorb it

- give them
- talk results
-move quickly



- have to allow
them to be in
control &not
talk too much

Back up

-they like to
be right and
like results

- dont get too
dont take it
- want to be in
charge of

Coaches To Do List

Understand your athletes (caring)

Set goals (ownership)

- recognition
and approval

- to be
- need to
give a lot of
-talk big
- talk people
picture and
- use
- be upbeat
and let them listening
trust and
their ideas
- dont bore
-help them
w/details and comfortable
accept their
in taking
- dont argue W/..
and dont
-listen to
make them
their feelings
look bad
and reestablish
- they drop
the friendly
mode and
become a

Define everyones role (communication)

Develop pride in subgroups (identification)
Use cooperate drill whenever possible
Highlight every success (communication )

Principled Negotiations

1) Separate the People from the Problem

2) Focus on the interests not the Positions
o When you take a firm position on something then your ego will
become activated cause as soon as that person tries to to
disuade you = they start triggering fears in you you dont
want to talk about entrenched positions instead look for who is
this the best interest for? cannot argue from your own position
accepting the possibility that theres something you did not
think about
3) Generate a variety of options
4) Insist that the result/solution is based on CRITERIA
5) Start the convo with a vision of how it will end
o Must want both groups feeling good about what has happened
o Make sure youre not violating the principles of your coaching

Non Verbal Communication


2) Space and proximity
3) Posture
o Slouching, super erect, the collapse
4) Touch
5) Articulation
o Speed of your speech
o If higly anxious speech will speed up
o If athletes see that= they get worried and stressed
o Need to just be yourself and have a good pace
6) Silence
7) Movement
o Quickness and direction of your movements
8) Image and Appearance

Principled Negotiation
1. Separate the people from the problem
2. Focus on the interests, not the positions
o Generate a list of general assumptions

3. Generate a variety of options

4. Insist that the result/solution is based on criteria
5. Start the conversation with a vision of how it will end
Leadership Theories
The Big Event Theory
o Leaders are born when there are some kind of catastrophy that
o The hugeness of the event which brings ot leadership qualities
The Trait Theory
o Born w/leadership qualities
The ProcessLeadership Theory
o 1) Must have a vision
o 2) Pass scrutiny on what you are
o 3) Have excellent communication skills
Athletes need to understand your vision
Need to know how they contribute
Need to know how they are doing: goals
o 4) Are responsible
o 5) Must be trustworthy
4 Actions of World Class Leaders



US Armed Forces Training Manual


Seek self improvement

Make sound and timey decisions
Seek responsibility
Be a good role model
Look out for your people
Keep people informed
Develop responsibility
Ensure tasks are understood and accomplished
Be technically proficient

Females in sport: differences males vs. females

The dropout rate for female athletes between 10 & 20 years of age is
approx. 90%
Females develop the notion that males are superior by age 6 yrs.
Threat of osteoporosis cf males is 300% greater at 60 yrs, 600% higher
at 70 years

Media emphasis on body image.

Why Do Females Dropout?


Lack of skill (perceived)

Lack of confidence
Lack of opportunities
Lack of support systems
Lack of role models
Lack of time
Peer pressure
Lack of awareness of health issues

Males VS. Females


Females place greater value on what others think than males do

o EX: males dont like whether other teammates like them they
just wanna win
Females receive satisfaction from the relationships formed on a team
Females see their teammates as friends
Male teams can function well even if the members are not friends
In general, males play sport for individual reasons and must be
appealed to in terms of the individual benefit of hard work
Females tend to be motivated by pleasing others, and should be
appealed to on the basis of how their work affects the rest of the team
Motivating females is tied to the coachs relationship to the athlete.
o If you do something that negatively impacts that relationship,
you will have trouble motivating that athlete.
o Having positive relationship is good
A coach of a male team has to convince them that his/her vision is
With female athletes, they are more willing to try the system before
o Females are much more open and theyll give a coach a chance
Loud motivational exhortations by a coach are never encouraged as
good coaching, but males will respond to it.
o Females, however, may interpret this as an attack, and that their
relationship with the coach has been affected by their play. This
may create a distance between coach and player.
Yelling at females can hurt them
Males tend to be physically mean, whereas females use words and
body language to hurt.
Be aware of the Queen Bee and the Wannabees
o Forms cliques on your team cant allow this
Team chemistry is important
o If 1 is having bad time brings down team as well
Females tend to hold grudges longer

Females can be motivated showing them how their effort fits with the
Females not motivated by intensity of their coachs personality
Male coaches need to understand that females in a group can be very
hierarchical and take steps to minimize it

Strategies for Female Athletes


Ensure successful performance

Use positive reinforcement
Decrease competition early on in sport participation
o Increase it gradually
Reduce anxiety producing situations
o Make sure they understand the big picture/expectations
Avoid stereotyping activities
Present skillful role models

EXPECTATIONS: what are the expectations of your athletes (friends and family) in
terms of their behaviour. How will you communicate this philosophy
and how will you enforce it?

Put in as much work as possible into every practice and game players need to
practice hard against each other if they want each other to improve and become a better
Respect each other no matter their skill level/ whether or not they are a starter or not
Come to practice motivated and willing to learn and get better
Encourage athletes to not dwell over mistakes but to learn and get better from them
Expect athletes to abide reasonable rules

Some of you seem to be under the delusional thinking that the midterm is Friday(tomorrow). The exam
is Monday, bring your coaching philosophy to the exam, answer the exam question based on your philosophy
and leave the philosophy in the exam to be marked.
There have been a lot of questions about ages, level of competition etc, which I believe I have answered at
length in class on two occasions, if not more. If you weren't there, well you might remember the discussion
about decisions and consequences. Some have said the statements about philosophy are vague. You are
correct. They have to be to allow everyone to interpret the philosophy for their sport/situation. I expect you to
create a document that clearly defines your belief about playing time, or whatever, and it should be based on
your coaching philosophy as a whole. For example, if you say 'I believe in playing starters until they are too
tired, or get injured...' then that needs to be substantiated by your belief system: "I will distribute playing time
thusly because I believe that the only metric of value in sport is whether or not you have compiled more wins
than losses in a season.' So you need to explain, not just your philosophy about 1 of the 3 philosophical
cpmponents, but also explain why - for whatever age, level of comp etc.
Sorry to bother you, but there was one other thing I wanted to say to you about writing the philosophy.
Remember who the audience is. You are writng for athletes, parents or administrators. You are not writing a
University paper in Philosophy. Keep it simple and use language that anyone can understand. That will make
it easier I hope.