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By Derek Ayre Anger is toxic to the mind and body if not expressed harmlessly. I use term harmlessly here meaning to bring no harm to self or other. When anger is expressed (pushed out) as a quick fix, one way of doing it is to shout and scream at another person. The effect of this is to reduce the unpleasant feelings of anger if you can get the other person to manifest expressions of being hurt and submissive but the relief is only transient and can create a “habit” in the behaviour of the perpetrator of becoming angry with the “underdog”. But what generally happens is as follows… 1. In an argument there is a retaliation using anger that does little good to either person other than to cause even more frustration at not being able to “win”. 2. To repress (hold or push in) anger is just as injurious. . Repressed anger is more than often at the root of headaches and other forms of pain and discomfort. These pains, if constant, can eventually lead to a “real” illness or some other sort of breakdown in the system. So if expressing and repressing anger can lead to harm, what is one to do when anger arises? Anger management. Many people make the mistake of thinking that anger management means controlling and/or suppressing the emotion. I suppose you could label it thus, but I don’t like the word controlling as it smacks of coercion. Trying to coerce anger, is another way of repressing it. This to me, is not anger management. True anger management in a Zen-like way, is first of all developing an awareness of anger, then without trying to make it go away, examine and witness your anger and recognise it for what it really is… Energy. And that’s all it is. Anger is energy. Be aware that when you are excited about anything, whether it is about moving into a beautiful new home or getting sexually aroused, what you are experiencing is energy – a bunch of sensations that are all practically identical. Pleasurable experiences are seldom resisted, and are quick to disappear. Un-pleasurable experiences like anger, are nearly always resisted and are slow to disappear. Therefore, if one can “stay in touch” with the experiences of anger or other negative emotions, just be with them, allowing them to exist, the anger will respond the same to any pleasurable experience. Time always goes quickly when you are enjoying yourself.
What others have said about anger: Thomas Fuller (English Historian, 1608-61) Anger is one of the sinews of the soul. Johannah Spyri (Writer. Author of Heidi: 1827-1901) Anger has overpowered him and driven him to a revenge that was rather a stupid one, I must acknowledge, but anger makes us all stupid.
David Hume (Scottish Philosopher, 1711-76) Grief and disappointment gives rise to anger, anger to envy, envy to malice, and malice to grief again, till the whole circle is completed.
Proverbs He that is slow to anger, is better than the mighty. Thanks for reading. This essay is part of a much longer self-development e-book. If you wish to download the entire book, please click here to go to my website, and click on the link that says, “free e-book on Self-Development”.
Here is some further reading on Anger management..... Amazon UK Beating Anger.The 8 Point Plan for Coping with Rage It's Not Personal. A Guide to Anger Management Beyond Anger The Ultimage Guide to Transforming Anger It’s Not Personal. A Guide to Anger Management
Amazon USA. Beyond Anger
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