VIOLENCE IN THE BIBLE

Genesis
Because God liked Abel's animal sacrifice more than Cain's vegetables, Cain
kills his brother Abel in a fit of religious jealousy. 4:8
"I will destroy ... both man and beast."
God is angry. He decides to destroy all humans, beasts, creeping things, fow
ls, and "all flesh wherein there is breath of life." He plans to drown them all.
6:7, 17
"Every living substance that I have made will I destroy."
God repeats his intention to kill "every living substance ... from off the f
ace of the earth." But why does God kill all the innocent animals? What had they
done to deserve his wrath? It seems God never gets his fill of tormenting anima
ls. 7:4
"All flesh died that moved upon the earth."
God drowns everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears
-- all creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. 7:21-23
God sends a plague on the Pharaoh and his household because the Pharaoh beli
eved Abram's lie. 12:17
God tells Abram to kill some animals for him. The needless slaughter makes G
od feel better. 15:9-10
Hagar conceives, making Sarai jealous. Abram tells Sarai to do to Hagar what
ever she wants. "And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled." 16:6
"I will not destroy it for ten's sake."
I guess God couldn't find even ten good Sodomites because he decides to kill
them all in Genesis 19. Too bad Abraham didn't ask God about the children. Why
not save them? If Abraham could find 10 good children, toddlers, infants, or bab
ies, would God spare the city? Apparently not. God doesn't give a damn about chi
ldren. 18:32
Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two "vi
rgin daughters" instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to "do unto them [hi
s daughters] as is good in your eyes." This is the same man that is called "just
" and "righteous" in 2 Peter 2:7-8. 19:7-8
God kills everyone (men, women, children, infants, newborns) in Sodom and Go
morrah by raining "fire and brimstone from the Lord out of heaven." Well, almost
everyone -- he spares the "just and righteous" Lot and his family. 19:24
Lot's nameless wife looks back, and God turns her into a pillar of salt. 19:
26
God gets angry with king Abimelech, though the king hasn't even touched Sara
h. He says to the king, "Behold, thou art but a dead man," and threatens to kill
him and all of his people. To compensate for the crime he never committed, Abim
elech gives Abraham sheep, oxen, slaves, silver, and land. Finally, after Abraha
m "prayed unto God," God lifts his punishment to Abimelech, "for the Lord had fa
st closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah." 20:3-18
Sarah, after giving birth to Isaac, gets angry again at Hagar (see 16:5-6) a
nd tells Abraham to 'cast out this bondwoman and her son." God commands Abraham
to "hearken unto her voice." So Abraham abandons Hagar and Ishmael, casting them

out into the wilderness to die. 21:10-14
God orders Abraham to kill Isaac as a burnt offering. Abraham shows his love
for God by his willingness to murder his son. But finally, just before Isaac's
throat is slit, God provides a goat to kill instead. 22:2-13
Abraham shows his willingness to kill his son for God. Only an evil God woul
d ask a father to do that; only a bad father would be willing to do it. 22:10
"Because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine onl
y son."
Why did God love Abraham so much? Because he was willing to murder his son f
or him. (Greater evil hath no man than this, that he is willing to kill his own
son for God.) 22:16
Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, is "defiled" by a man who seems to love her de
arly. Her brothers trick all of the men of the town and kill them (after first h
aving them all circumcised), and then take their wives and children captive. 34:
1-31
"The terror of God was upon the cities that were round about them." 35:5
"And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lor
d slew him." What did Er do to elicit God's wrath? The Bible doesn't say. Maybe
he picked up some sticks on Saturday. 38:7
After God killed Er, Judah tells Onan to "go in unto they brother's wife." B
ut "Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and ... when he went in unto his
brother's wife ... he spilled it on the ground.... And the thing which he did di
spleased the Lord; wherefore he slew him also." This lovely Bible story is seldo
m read in Sunday School, but it is the basis of many Christian doctrines, includ
ing the condemnation of both masturbation and birth control. 38:8-10
After Judah pays Tamar for her services, he is told that she "played the har
lot" and "is with child by whoredom." When Judah hears this, he says, "Bring her
forth, and let her be burnt." 38:24
Joseph interprets the baker's dream. He says that the pharaoh will cut off t
he baker's head, and hang his headless body on a tree for the birds to eat. 40:1
9
God brought a seven year, "very grievous" famine on the whole earth for no a
pparent reason (except maybe to make Joseph wealthy). 41:25-32, 54
Exodus
Moses murders an Egyptian after making sure that no one is looking. 2:11-12
"I will ... smite Egypt with all my wonders." 3:20
God threatens to kill the Pharaoh's firstborn son. 4:23
God decides to kill Moses because his son had not yet been circumcised. 4:24
-26
Moses and Aaron ask the Pharaoh to let all the Israelites go into the desert
to pray for three days, or else God will kill them all "with pestilence, or wit
h the sword." 5:3
"Now shalt thou see what I will do to Pharaoh." 6:1

God will make sure that Pharaoh does not listen to Moses, so that he can kil
l Egyptians with his armies. 7:4
"And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD." Who else could be so crue
l and unjust? 7:5, 17
God tells Moses and Aaron to smite the river and turn it into blood. This is
the first of the famous 10 plagues of Egypt. 7:17-24
The fifth plague: all cattle in Egypt die.
But a little later (9:19-20, 12:29), God kills them again a couple more time
s. 9:6
The sixth plague: boils and blains upon man and beast. 9:9-12
"For I will at this time send all my plagues upon thine heart, and upon thy
servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayest know that there is none like me
in all the earth." Who else but the biblical god could be so cruel? 9:14
God gave power to the Pharaoh so that he could show off his own power by kil
ling him. 9:15-16
The seventh plague is hail. "And the hail smote throughout the land of Egypt
all that was in the field, both man and beast." 9:22-25
God wants to be remembered forever for the mass murder of little children. 1
0:2
These verses clearly show that the mass murder of innocent children by God w
as premeditated. (see 12:29-30) 11:4-6
God will kill the Egyptian children to show that he puts "a difference betwe
en the Egyptians and Israel." 11:7
God explains to Moses that he intends to "smite all the firstborn in the lan
d of Egypt, both man and beast. 12:12
After God has sufficiently hardened the Pharaoh's heart, he kills all the fi
rstborn Egyptian children. When he was finished "there was not a house where the
re was not one dead." Finally, he runs out of little babies to kill, so he slaug
hters the firstborn cattle, too. 12:29
To commemorate the divine massacre of the Egyptian children, Moses instructs
the Israelites to "sacrifice to the Lord all that openeth the matrix" -- all th
e males, that is. God has no use for dead, burnt female bodies. 13:2, 12, 15
"I will harden Pharaoh's heart." 14:4
After hardening Pharaoh's heart a few more times, God drowns Pharaoh's army
in the sea. 14:4-28
The LORD shall fight for you. 14:14
"I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and
I will get me honour." 14:17
"And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me hono
ur upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen." 14:18

he won't send his diseases on you (like he did to t he Egyptians). What kind of mind woul d be pleased by the killing and burning of innocent animals? 20:24 A child who hits or curses his parents must be executed. and "the ox shall be stoned."And the LORD said unto Moses. with God's approval. and the LORD brought again the waters of the sea upon them. He says that if we w ill make such "burnt offerings. 21:24-25 If an ox gores someone. 17:14-16 Any person or animal that touches Mt. and his owner shall be put to death." Did Moses impose such severe penalties because he feared that someon e might see him fake his meeting with God? 19:12-13 Like the great and powerful Wizard of Oz. judging from his acts in the Old Testame nt." 14:3 1 Moses and the people sing praises to their murderous god." So God is still fighting Amalek." Thousands of innocent women have su ffered excruciating deaths because of this verse. nobody can see God and live." 21:28 If an ox gores someone due to the negligence of its owner. 22:18 ." Indeed. 17 It's okay to beat your slaves. Bu t avoid excessive damage to their eyes or teeth.. 15:3 God's right hand dashes people in pieces." 14:26 "And Israel saw that great work which the LORD did upon the Egyptians. then "the ox shal l be stoned. that the waters may come again upon the Egyptians. "then the ox shall surely be stoned. But otherwise. 21:15.. 15:26 Joshua. Otherwise you may have to set t hem free. Stretch out thine hand over the sea. I hope Moses can still keep his hand up. 15:1-19 "The Lord is a man of war. even if they die you won't be punished. 19:21 God gives instructions for killing and burning animals." he will bless us for it." 21:32 "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. 21:29 If an ox gores a slave. kills the Amalekites "with the edge of the swor d."." 15:19 "Horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea.. Sinai shall be stoned to death or "sho t through." 17:14 "The Lord has sworn [God swears!] that the Lord will have war with Amalek fr om generation to generation. just as long as they survive a day or two after the beating (see verses 21:20-21)." 17:13 "I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven." 15:21 If you do what God says. 15:6 "For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen in to the sea. he is a vicious warlike monster. the owner of the ox must pay the owner of the slave 30 shekels of silver. 21:26-27 An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

Aaron. It may well make you sick." 30:3 3 Those who break the Sabbath are to be executed. chop up their bodies. kill them." 32:27-28 "Whosoever hath sinned against me. on the Sabbath "shall be put to death . 32:35 If you can't redeem him." 35:2-3 Leviticus . he shall be utter ly destroyed. 22:20 If you make God angry enough."Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death. it's all for the g lory of God. but it makes God feel good. and then forced it down the throats of all the people. burn the carcasses.in precisely the way God tells you." (As a burnt offering?) 22:29 God promises to "send his fear before the Israelites" and to kill everyone t hat they encounter when they enter the promised land." Is it really ne cessary to kill such people? Couldn't we just send them to counseling or somethi ng? 22:19 "He who sacrificeth unto any god. 31:14 God asks to be left alone so that his "wrath may wax hot" and he can "consum e them. then just "break his neck." If this commandment is obeyed. and sprinkle the blood all around -." 32:33 But God wasn't satisfied with the slaughter of the 3000. 32:10 Moses burned the golden calf. save unto the Lord only." Hey. This is a good verse to use when reminding the kiddies to wa sh their hands before supper. then the four billion people who d o not believe in the biblical god must be killed. 32:20 God orders the sons of Levi (Moses. 23:28 Moses has some animals killed and their dead bodies burned for God. him will I blot out of my book. 29:11-37 Have your killed and offered your bullock for a sin offering today? How abou t the two lambs you are supposed to offer each day? 29:36-39 Wash up or die. he will kill you and your family with his own sword. or even kindles a fire. 22:24 "The firstborn of thy sons thou shalt give unto me. This makes God happy. 30:20 Whoever puts holy oil on a stranger shall be "cut off from his people. 23:27 God has hornets that bite and kill people. wave body parts in the ai r. so he killed some m ore people with a plague. Then he sprinkles their blood on the altar and on the people. ground it into powder. and the other members of their tr ibe that were "on the Lord's side") to kill "every man his neighbor. 34:20 Whoever works." "And there fell of the people that day about 3000 men. 24:5 -8 Get some animals.

." 3:2 "The fat that covereth the inwards .. the inwards . a sweet savour unto the LORD." 1:6 Lay .... burn all on the altar..." 3:14-16 "All the fat is the Lord's. such bloody rituals must be important to God.. round about. and the caul abov e the liver . the two kidneys ...God gives detailed instructions for performing ritualistic animal sacrifices .... and the blood thereof shall be wrung out. a sweet savour unto the Lord... remember that "all the fat is the Lord's. sprinkle the blood around.. round about.. the head. kill it.... . and sprinkle the bloo d round about upon the altar. and the caul above the liver. sprinkle blood round about. burn it upon the altar: it is the food of the offering made by fire unto the LORD.. judging from the number of times that he repeats their instructions. bring the blood. and burn it . on the fire which is upon the altar: But h is inwards and his legs .. for a sweet savour unto the Lord." 1:5 "Flay the burnt offering....." 1:14-15 "For a sweet savour unto the Lord.....9 "Kill the bullock before the LORD ." 3:911 "If his offering be a goat . wring off his head. and .." 4:6 .. cut it into pieces...." 3:8 "The fat .." 1:8-9 "Kill .. Indeed the entire first nine chapters of Le viticus can be summarized as follows: Get an animal.... the two kidneys ...... with his head and his fat .." 3:12-13 "The fat that covereth the inwards ." 1:11 "Cut it into his pieces. sprinkle the blood . and kill it . it is a meat offering. and k ill it .." (And he doesn't like to share!) 3:16 "Kill the bullock before the Lord and take of the bullock's blood... to be a burnt sacrifice . and the fat .." 4:4 "The priest shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle the blood seven t imes before the Lord.." 3:3-5 "He shall lay his hand upon the head of his offering.... and .. burn them upon the altar.. it is the food of the ooffering made b y fire for a sweet savour. sprinkle the blood ...." 2:10 "He shall lay his hand upon the head of his offering... and ..... round about." When you do your burnt offerings." 2:6 "It is a thing most holy of the offerings of the LORD made by fire. It is . he shall lay his hand upon the head .. ." Chapters 1 .... and the two kidneys . and burn it for a "sweet savor unto th e Lord. and kill it . be of fowls .. and burn it . cut the dead animal into pieces. the whole rump . sprinkle the blood ." 1:12-13 "If the burnt sacrifice . before the Lord and ." 1:17 "Part it in pieces..

.." 4:33-35 "He shall bring his trespass offering unto the LORD . and kill it. unto the LORD .. the fat that cove reth the inwards .. take all his fat from him." 4:14-15 "Bring of the bullock's blood . and ... and dung from your burnt offerings... pour all the blood of the bullock at the bottom of the altar... and the priest shall take of the blood thereof wi th his finger... .. then you can wring off the head of a pigeon or dove. saying. pour out all the blood .. and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering and shal l pour out all the blood.... and ." 4:24-25 "The priest shall take of the blood of the sin offering with his finger." 4:31 "Slay the sin offering . and wring off his head.. and all his flesh.. and the rest of the blood shall be wrung out at the bottom of the altar: it is a sin offering... the two kidneys ." 4:7 "Take . then he shall bring for his trespass unto the LORD a ram without blemish. 5:7 "And he shall sprinkle of the blood of the sin offering upon the side of the altar. and .. sin through ignorance . and burn it upon the altar." 4: 18-19 "He shall lay his hand upon the head of the goat. and the priest shall take of the blood thereof wi th his finger. and .." 5:9 "The Lord spake unto Moses. dead animal...." What to do with the fat... burn it upon the altar for a swe et savour unto the LORD. 4:11-12 "Offer a young bullock for the sin . kill an unblemis hed ram for God.. kill a female lamb or goat for God... (A female will do since it's a minor offense.. skin.. a lamb or a kid of the goats. and his dung. or two young pigeons.." If you don't have a lamb to kill for God. and the caul above the liver . head.. The bullock shall be killed before th e Lord." If you sin without knowing that you've done anything wrong. 5:14-15 "This is the law of the sin offering: the sin offering [shall] be killed bef .... all the fat of the bullock for the sin offering. entrails. then he shall bring . liver. and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering .. and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering... a female from the fl ock.. and he shall burn all his fat upon the altar. two turtledoves." 4:16-17 "Put some of the blood upon the horns of the altar .. and his inwards. If a soul . kidneys.." 4:29-30 "He shall take away all the fat .." 4:25-26 "Slay the sin offering .. burn them upon the altar of the burnt offering. and . and shall pour out his bl ood . and with his legs. or "the uncleanness of man" or if you s wear to do something good or bad (5:2-4).."Put some of the blood upon the horns of the altar . And the priest shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle the blood seven times before the Lord...) 5:6 "If he be not able to bring a lamb." If you touch an insect. and shall pour out all the blood. with his head.." 4:8-10 "And the skin of the bullock.

" 7:31 "And the right shoulder shall ye give unto the priest for an heave offering. 7:33 "For the wave breast and the heave shoulder ." 8:19 . and his dung. as the LORD commanded Moses." 7:1-6 Kill the trespass offering: and the blood thereof shall he sprinkle round ab out upon the altar. wipes the blood on Aaro n's ears. offer God the fat. sprinkle the blo od around. Don't eat fat or blo od -. that offereth the blood of the peace offerings." 8 :16 "But the bullock. that the breast may be waved fo r a wave offering before the LORD.. it shall he bring. and their fat." 6:25 "The trespass offering: it is most holy" The holy law of trespass offering: Find an animal. burn and eat it in the ho ly place. and the two kidneys. and the fat that is on them ." 7:3 "It shall be the priest's that sprinkleth the blood of the peace offerings." 8:14-32 "Aaron and his sons laid their hands upon the head of the bullock for the si n offering and he slew it." 7:14 Be careful what you eat during these animal sacrifices. and big toes." 7:30 "And the priest shall burn the fat upon the altar: but the breast shall be A aron's and his sons'." 8:15 "And he took all the fat that was upon the inwards.. he burnt with fire without the camp. and put it upon the horns of the altar round about wi th his finger . and the two kidneys. and caul. " 7:32 "He among the sons of Aaron. the rump." 8:14-15 "Moses took the blood.ore the LORD: it is most holy. his flesh. Finally he burns the whole mess for "a sweet savour befo re the Lord.." Aaron's sons get the right shoulder from all peace offerings.. shall have the right shoulder for his part. thumbs. a statute for ever. kidneys. and the fat that covereth the in wards. and poured the blood at the bottom of the altar. 7:34 Moses does it all for God. for "it is most holy." Wave the fat and the breast for "a wave offe ring before the Lord." 7:2 "Offer of it all the fat thereof. Then he sprinkles blood round about and waves th e guts before the Lord. kill it. and the caul that is above the liver. and his hide. and the fat. (And he doesn't like to share!) 7:18-27 "The fat with the breast. It is a statute forv er. and the caul above the l iver." 8:17 "Aaron and his sons laid their hands upon the head of the ram.. rump. and Moses burned it upon the altar. First he kills an animal." 8:18-19 "Moses sprinkled the blood upon the altar round about.these are for God. And he killed it." Be sure to do your wave breast or heave shoulder today.

a nd the fat. and an offering made by fire unto the LORD.. And he slew i t. and all the fat that was upon the inward s. and put it upon the tip of Aaron's right ear . and burning carcass es "before the Lord. sprinkle the blood round about.. burnt them ... and waved it for a wave offering before the LORD . and the two kidneys.. and upon the great toe of his right foot . and the rump." 8:27 "Moses ." 8:24 "And he took the fat." 9:2-21 "Take thee a young calf for a sin offering." 8:30 "Moses said unto Aaron and to his sons." 8:31 And that which remaineth of the flesh . and put it upon the horns of the altar. sprinkling of blood." 8:21 "Aaron and his sons laid their hands upon the head of the ram. and upon his sons' hands. and a meat offering... and their fat. as the LORD commanded Moses. waiving animal parts.. without blemish. and Moses put of the blood upon the tip of the ir right ear. and waved them for a wave offering before the LORD. burn the fat and entrails. and upon the great toes of their right feet: and Moses sprinkled the blood upon the altar round about. and upon the thumbs of their right hands." 8:28 "And Moses took the breast. and upon his sons. and wave the breast for a wave offering before the L ord. and Moses burnt the whole ram upon the altar: it was a burnt sacrifice for a sweet savour. and a ram for a burnt offering." 9:8 "And the sons of Aaron brought the blood unto him: and he dipped his finger in the blood." 8:22-23 "Moses took of the blood of it. and sprinkled it upon Aaron. and the caul above the liver." 8:23 "And he brought Aaron's sons. slew the calf of the sin offering." 9:2 "Take ye a kid of the goats for a sin offering." 9:3 "Also a bullock and a ram for peace offerings. and a calf and a lamb. Boil the flesh. and upon his sons' garment s. of the blood which was upon the altar. and the pieces..." 8:32 More killing. for a sweet savour. shall ye burn with fire. for a burnt offering. and upon the thumb of his right hand. and Moses burnt the head. and poured out the blood a . and upon his garments. and offer them before the LORD. to sacrifice before the LORD. dip your finger in the blood.." 9:4 Kill the calf." 8:25 "And he put all upon Aaron's hands. 9:8-21 "Aaron . without blemish." 8:20 "And he washed the inwards and the legs in water. both of the first year. and the rig ht shoulder." 8:29 "And Moses took ."And he cut the ram into pieces.

and the kidneys." 10:1 4 "The heave shoulder and the wave breast .. the rump." 9:10 "And the flesh and the hide he burnt with fire without the camp." 9:12 "And they presented the burnt offering unto him.. with the pieces thereof." 9:11 "And he slew the burnt offering." 10:6-9 God will kill any priest that leaves the tabernacle. and. and the caul above the liver of the sin offer ing.. or by drinking "wine or strong drink ". took the goat .. and Aaron's sons presented unto him the blo od. and h e warns Aaron not to mourn the death of his sons or God will kill him too." 9:21 Two of the sons of Aaron "offered strange fire before the Lord" and "there w ent out fire from the Lord." 1 0:1-2 Moses tells Aaron that his sons were burned to death to sanctify and glorify God. 10:3 Moses tells Aaron's cousins to drag the burned bodies out of the camp." 9:9 "But the fat. or dove.. to wave it for a wave offering before the LORD. as Moses commanded." 9:14 "And he ...." 9:19 "And they put the fat upon the breasts. bring with the offerings made by fire of the fat..t the bottom of the altar. an d the head: and he burnt them upon the altar. the people. and Aaron's sons presented unto hi m the blood. 10:7 If priests misbehave at the tabernacle by by drinking "wine or strong drink. and he burnt the fat upon the altar. then God will kill them and send his wrath on "all the people." 10:9 "And the wave breast and heave shoulder shall ye eat in a clean place.. 10:4-6 If priests misbehave at the tabernacle by uncovering their heads. and devoured them. for a sin offering. and burnt them upon the burnt off ering on the altar. for a burnt offering. and the kidneys. and slew it. leaving with holy oil on them. a young pigeon. tearing th eir clothes." "It shall be a statute for ever. a priest must kill a lamb." After a woman gives birth. as the LORD commanded Moses. he burnt upon the altar." 9:15 "He slew also the bullock and the ram ..." 9:13 "And he did wash the inwards and the legs." 9:18 "And the fat of the bullock and of the ram. along with everyone else. which he sprinkled upon the altar round about. and they died before the Lord. or dove as a s . pigeon. and the caul above the liver. which he sprinkled round about upon the altar. " then God will kill them and send his wrath on "all the people. and that which coveret h the inwards." 10:15 "She shall bring a lamb . " 9:20 "And the breasts and the right shoulder Aaron waved for a wave offering befo re the LORD.

and big toe." God "put the plague of leprosy" on the Canaanites.. an d the one shall be a sin offering. and one e we lamb of the first year without blemish .. and upon the thumb of his right hand. and wave them for a wave offering before the LORD.. or tw o young pigeons ... 14:34 "He shall take to cleanse the house two birds ...." 14:30 "Even such as he is able to get. thumb and big toe. Wipe some of its blood on the patient's right ear. 14:2-32 "Then shall the priest command to take for him that is to be cleansed two bi rds alive and clean . thumb. and the priest shall command that one of the birds be ki lled in an earthen vessel over running water. in the holy place: . 12:6 "If she be not able to bring a lamb. .. and the other a burnt offering.. and upon the great toe of his right foot." 14:49-52 . And the priest shall take one he l amb." 14:19 "If he be poor. And he shall clea nse the house with the blood of the bird... Dip the live bird in the bloo d of the dead one." 14:10-12 "And he shall slay the lamb . and sprinkle the house seven times . and she shall be clean. And he shall take ." 14:14 "The priest shall offer the sin offering . Sprinkle the blood on the leper seven times. and then let the blood-soaked bird fly off.." 12:8 God's law for lepers: Get two birds.... and upon the thumb of his right hand. then he shall take one lamb for a tr espass offering to be waved . the living bird. and put it upon the tip of the r ight ear of him that is to be cleansed.. and cannot get so much. and ... and afterward he shall kill the burnt offering. And he shall kill the one of the birds .." 14:21-22 "And the priest shall take the lamb of the trespass offering . or two young pigeons ... with the meat offering. and the other f or a burnt offering... the one for a sin offering. and dip them in the bloo d of the slain bird . Kill one.. Finally kil l a couple doves and offer one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offe ring.in offering. then she shall bring two turtles.. put it upon the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed.. and the pri est shall wave them for a wave offering before the LORD:" 14:24 "And he shall kill the lamb of the trespass offering. or of the young pigeons.. Repeat." 14:31 "When ye be come into the land of Canaan . and offer him for a trespass offering ." 14:4 "And on the eighth day he shall take two he lambs without blemish." 14:25 "And he shall offer the one of the turtledoves.. it is most holy.. and two turtledoves." 14: 13 "And the priest shall take some of the blood of the trespass offering. and the priest shall t ake some of the blood of the trespass offering. I put the plague of leprosy in . the land of your possession... Next find a lamb and kill it. This is because having children is sinful and God likes it when thi ngs are killed for him. an d upon the great toe of his right foot... Sprinkle seven times with oil a nd wipe some of the oil on his right ear.. suc h as he can get.

. and bring his bl ood . that is for the people." Couldn't we try spanking first? 20:9 Both parties in adultery shall be executed. Wipe. and put it upon the horns of the altar round about... then both must be killed. and the other for a burnt offering. 20:10 If a man has sex with his father's wife." 16:11 "Take of the blood of the bullock. It goes like this: Get two goats. the one for a sin offering." 18:26-28 "Whosoever shall commit any of these abominations ." 15:14-15 "On the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles. Kill o ne.." 20:2 If you refuse to kill someone who gives his seed to Molech. giveth ... (10:1-2) 16:1-2 God explains the use of scapegoats... give it the sins of all the people. shall ston e him with stones. and send it off into the wilderness.. 20:12 If a man has sex with another man. 20:13 . and sprinkle it upon the mercy seat."On the eighth day he shall take to him two turtledoves.. Then take the other goat. kill them both. or two young pigeons ." 16:14 "Kill the goat of the sin offering. that the land spue not you out also.." 16:18 "He shall sprinkle of the blood upon it with his finger seven times. 19:6-8 "Whosoever . and the priest shal l make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness. and sprinkle the blood around seven times. 20:11 If a man "lies" with his daughter-in-law.. or two young pigeon s . smear." 1 5:29-30 God warns Aaron that he might have to burn him to death like he did his sons . seven times. kill them both. and the other for a burnt offering.." 16:15 "Take of the blood of the bullock. offer them.. his seed unto Molech . and sprinkle it . 17:6 If you upset God.. he'll cause the land to vomit you out." 16:19 Sprinkle the blood and burn the fat for a sweet savour unto the Lord. the people . 1 6:8-28 "Kill the bullock of the sin offering.. 20:4-5 "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. and shall not commit any of these abomin ations . and . God set his face against you and your family. for a sin offering.. and of the blood of the goat. as it spued o ut the nations that were before you.. 18:25 "Keep my statutes and my judgments. when ye defile it.." 18:29 Don't eat sacrifices on the third day or God will cut you off from among you r people.. shall be cut off from among their people...

tha t shall consume the eyes. or scabbed. 23:29-30 A man curses and blasphemes while disputing with another man.. or broken . The "heathens" and "strangers" are to be their possessions forever. 24:16 "He that killeth any man shall surely be put to death. or scurvy. or maimed." 26:17 .. and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain. a male without blemish ." 26:7-8 If you don't follow all of the laws in the Old Testament. Ye shall not offer unto the LORD that which is bruised. or crushed. 26:14-15 "I will even appoint over you terror. God says that the whole community must stone him to death. and the burning ague. or cut. so shall it be done to him. broken. Moses asks God what to do about it. Not just any animals." He figures five of the Israelites will be able to "chase" a hundred of their enemies. ye shall not offer these unto the LORD . tooth for tooth: as he hath caused a blemis h in a man.) are to be st oned to death. he shall be put to death. fortune tellers. consumption. 21:9 "Ye shall offer . and ye shall be slain before your enemies. Don't kill any blind . 20:14 If a man or woman "lie with a beast" both the person and the poor animal are to be killed. . or female animials for him. God only wants dead." 24:19 "Breach for breach. 20:15-16 People with "familiar spirits" (witches. God will shower yo u with all of the curses in the next 25 verses. and a hundred will be able to "put ten thousand to fli ght. t hen all three of you must be burned to death. "And the children of Israel did as the Lord and Moses commanded. 22:19-24 God gives us more instructions on killing and burning animals." 24:21 God tells the Israelites to make slaves out of their neighbors and their fam ilies.it is "a sweet savour unto the Lord.. or scabbed. 25:44 -46 God tells the Israelites to "chase" their enemies and make them "fall before you by the sword.If you "lie" with your wife and your mother-in-law (now that sounds fun!). though. He says we must do this because h e really likes the smell -. or broken. 20:27 A priest's daughter who "plays the whore" is to be burned to death. Blind." 24:17 "If a man cause a blemish in his neighbour." 24:10-23 Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire commu nity. so shall it be done to him again. maimed. eye for eye. etc." 26:16 "I will set my face against you." 24:20 "He that killeth a man. male animals without any blemishes.." 23:12-14. 18 Don't do any work on the day of atonement or God will destroy you. or having a wen." God wants us to kill lots of animals for him. I guess the f irst nine chapters of Leviticus wasn't enough.. for your enemies shall eat it. as he hath done.

. and my soul shall abhor you. and shall offer his sin offeri ng. as it were before a sword. and the flesh of your daughters sh all ye eat. one he lamb of the first year wi thout blemish for a burnt offering. to the priest ." 26:29 "I will . 5:1-4 "He shall bring two turtles.. or two young pigeons. 26:32 "And I will scatter you among the heathen. and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy. when none pursueth: and ye shall have no power to stand before your enemies. the sick are abandoned and left to suffer and die alone.." 6:10-11 "He ." 26:31 "And I will bring the land into desolation"." 6:12 "He shall offer his offering unto the LORD." 26:30 "And I will make your cities waste. and the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering." 26:33 "And they shall fall one upon another." God kills pe ople who touch or look at covered holy things. 3:10.. 3:38 Two of Aaron's sons are killed by God for "offering strange fire before the Lord. and his burnt offering. which shall rob you of your childre n." So by God's instructions." 26:22 "I will bring a sword upon you .." 1:51. and one ewe lamb of the first year without b lemish for a sin offering. and one ram without blemish for peace offerings." 3:4 Don't touch or "go in to see when the holy things are covered. and the land of your enemies shall e at you up." 26:37 "And ye shall perish among the heathen. cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols. shall bring a lamb of the first year for a trespass offering. and destroy your cattle." 26:38 All "devoted" things (both man and beast) "shall surely be put to death... I will send the pestilence among you. and the other for a burnt offeri ng." 27 :28-29 Numbers God shows his hospitality with the admonition: "The stranger that cometh nig h shall be put to death. and your cities waste." 26: 21 "I will also send wild beasts among you. 20 God tells the people to expel from camp "every leper." 6:1 4 "The priest shall bring them before the LORD. and will draw out a sword after y ou: and your land shall be desolate. and whoever is defiled by the dead. 4:15."I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins." 26:25 "And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons." 616: . every one that hath an issue..

8:17 "And when the people complained. "both man and beast". and the Lord smot e the people with a very great plague. refused . The smel l of burning flesh is "a sweet savour unto the Lord. goats. and a kid. 24 The Israelites find a man picking up sticks on the sabbath. each of the twelve tribes kills a bullock. 15:32-36 Korah.) ." 6:20 When Moses set up the tabernacle. 7:15-88 "The Levites shall lay their hands upon the heads of the bullocks: and thou shalt offer the one for a sin offering. 14:43-45 God gives more instructions for the ritualistic killing of animals. and the fire of the LORD burnt among them. with the wave breast and heave shoulder. and his anger was kindled. two oxen. the wrath of the Lord was kindled against the people."The priest shall offer also his meat offering. Their "carcases shall fall in t he wilderness. God will send the Amelekites and Canaanites to smite them. the first freethought/democracy martyrs." 619: "And the priest shall wave them for a wave offering before the LORD: this is holy for the priest. and consumed them. He got them t he day that he killed every Egyptian firstborn child and animal.. and Abiram. But God makes it clear that h is rules don't apply to his favorites." 8:8 -12 All firstborn Israelites. "The Bible isn't too clear about what the se poor folks did to upset God so much. it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard it (He had his hearing aid on. and then make a whole bunch of brand new Israelites. lamb. 1 4:12 God punishes the children for the failings of their great-great grandfathers ." God burned the complainers alive. 9-1 0 God tells Moses that he is going to kill all of the Israelites -. for a grand total of 240 animal sacrifices. 14:18 So Moses talked God out of killing everyone. though both she and Aaron complained.. and lambs for God. He'll just see to it that no on e over 20 years old survives the trip to Israel. and the other for a burnt offering. Notic e that only Miriam is punished." 14:20-35 God killed the ten spies that gave a discouraging report with a plague. and he strikes Miriam with leprosy. ere it was chewed. all it says is that they had "lusted.every last whining one of the them." 15:3. belong to God. 14:3 6-37 To further punish the Israelites for whining and plotting against Moses." 6:17 "And the priest shall take the sodden shoulder of the ram. That'll teach them! 11:1-2 "And while the flesh [of the quails] was yet between their teeth.. 12:1. ram. and five rams." 1 1:33 Miriam and Aaron (Moses' brother and sister) criticize Moses for marrying an Ethiopian woman and thus breaking the law of God. Dathan. 13-14. God commands the m to kill him by throwing rocks at him.

.to follow Moses blindly. "ye have killed the people of the Lord. and swallowed them up. we die. and consumed the two hundred and f ifty men that offered incense. sends a plague on the people.like churches. then you'll know that God's on his side. we perish. Why. that I may consume them as in a mo ment. lest they bear sin. that they die not.. if the LORD make . saying that everyone is holy and should be free to thin k for him or herself. he's going to kill some more people. "Behold.. 16:28-30 "The earth opened her mouth. lest ye die.700. 16:44-45 "For there is wrath gone out from the LORD." So God. that n either they." 18:32 .." Moses tells the people that if the ground opens up and swallows the rebels a nd their families. And "they that died in t he plague were 14. th e earth open her mouth.... went down alive into the pit. Shall we be consumed with dying?" 17:12-13 "They shall not come nigh the vessels of the sanctuary and the altar." 18:22 "Neither shall ye pollute the holy things of the children of Israel. they tha t died in the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred.." 16:35 After God killed Korah. 17:10 God threatens to kill those who murmur. we all perish ." 16:46-49 "Thou shalt quite take away their murmurings from me. and die." 18:7 God describes once again the procedure for ritualistic animal sacrifices. 16:1-35 Separate yourselves from among this congregation. God might have to ki ll you if you get too close.." Go d threatens to kill those who murmur. and their houses. the people complained saying. the plague is begun . nor ye also. and swallow them up. God killed them and their families for daring to challenge Moses. To which the people reply." 16:31-33 "And there came out a fire from the LORD." God threatens (again) to kill everyone (but his special friends." God warns everyone to get away. They ." Stay away from holy things and places -. and al l the men that appertained unto Korah . die... since he makes their performance a "statute" and "covenant" forever.. that I may consume them in a moment... then don't Bible-believers perform thes e sacrifices anymore? Don't they realize how God must miss the "sweet savour" of burning flesh? Don't they believe God when he says "forever"? 18:17-19 "Neither must the children of Israel henceforth come nigh the tabernacle of the congregation." 16:41-50 "Get you up from among this congregation. who doesn't take kindly to criticism. with all that appertain unto them. and 250 innocent bystanders. su ch rituals must be extremely important to God. and the earth closed upon them.. Moses and A aron). his family. and they go down quick into the pit. 18:3 God shows us how to make new friends by saying : "The stranger that cometh n igh shall be put to death. 16:20-2 1 "Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me .

But all the women children.. will eat up the nations. keep alive for yourselves. and they utterly destroyed them and their cities. 26:61 In these chapters (28. and sprinkle . sprinkling it around. killing everyone "until their was none left al ive." This verse demonstrates the power of prayer: If you ask God.." God's instructions for putting blood on fingers. When Moses learns that th ey left some live." Moses has the m all killed. and delivered up the Canaani tes. God rewards Phinehas and his sons with the everlasting priesthood."This is the ordinance of the law which the LORD hath commanded." But not before 24. break their bon es. cruel sacrifices.000 had died." This act pleases God so much that "the plague was stayed from the children of Israel. that have not known a man by lying with him. 26: 10 "And Nadab and Abihu died when they offered strange fire before the Lord. "Phinehas (Aaron' s grandson) sees them and throws a spear "through the man ..) So Moses does the usual thing. 25:10-13 God tells Moses how to care for his neighbors by saying: "Vex the Midianites . and then pierce them through with his arrows. and t hen burning the dung of sacrificial animals. Eleven times in these two chapters God says that they are to him a "sweet savour. he will destroy entire cities for you." W hen you go camping avoid making any unusual fires. 21:3 God sends "fiery serpents" to bite his chosen people." 28-29 Under God's direction." 21:34-35 God's people will kill like a lion and then "drink the blood of the slain. 19: 1-22 "Take of her blood with his finger. 19:4-5 "And the Lord hearkened to the voice of Israel. Moses' army defeats the Midianites." 23:24 God. God provides ridiculously detailed instructions for the ritualistic sacrifice of animals. and many of them die. who is as strong as a unicorn. and smite them." These absurd rituals. and unjust punishments are vitally i mportant to God. (You're in God hands with Moses . They kill all the adult males. (That's why it's in the Bible!). God says that this will satisfy him. 21:6 God delivers the Amorites into Moses' hands. 29). They are to be "a perpetual statute" for everyone on earth. and the woman throu gh her belly." 25:16-17 The ground swallow Korah and his companions and a fire consumes 250 men. 25:1-5 When one of the Israelite men brings home a foreign woman. Then God tells Moses to hang their dead bodies up in front of him. What a guy! 24:8 After the people "commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab. The burning of their dead bodies smell s great to God." So they went back and did as Moses (and presuma . but take the women and children captive. he angrily says: "Have you saved all the women alive? Kill ev ery male among the little ones. This is something that everyone nee ds to know about. 25:6-9 For impaling the interracial couple. seven times. and kill every woman that hath known man by lyin g with him.

33:55-56 "The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him. In this way they g ot 32. 33:50-52 But if the Israelites don't kill them all. women.) 31:1-54 "The prey that was taken." God killed all the Israelite soldiers -. until they were consumed. and his la nd: begin to possess it." 2:20 "The Lord destroyed them before them" -. and the revenger of blood kill the slayer. killing everyone except for the virgins." 2:24 All nations shall be terrorized by the followers of Yahweh." 35:30 "The land cannot be cleansed of the blood that is shed therein. both of man and of beast" was offered as a "heave offering of the LORD.." 1:30 "The hand of the LORD was against them.including the virg ins.Wow! (Even God gets some of the booty -. then God will make them pricks in their eyes and thorns in their sides.the general treatment of the people who were supposedly displaced by the Israelites. the Israelites "utterly destroyed the men.. 2:21-22 "I have given into thine hand Sihon the Amorite." 2:33-36 . but the Lord destroy ed them." 35:33 Deuteronomy "God . 33:4 God tells Moses to exterminate the residents of Canaan and destroy all of th eir religious symbols and possessions. and contend with him in battle. before the LORD to battle" 32:27 God killed all the Egyptian firstborn." 31:26-29 "Every man armed for war. but by the b lood of him that shed it. shall fight for you.. And he will do unto the Israelites as he planned to do to the inhabitants of Canaan." The "revenger of blood" (the victim's closest relative) mus t murder the murderer just as soon as he sees him. the murderer shall be put to death. to destroy them from among the host. but he finally got the job done. king of Heshbon. It took him 38 years to kil l them all. 2:25 God hardened the heart of the king of Heshbon and so that he could have him and all of his people killed. and the little ones" leaving "none to remain. he shall slay him. then the revenger can legally kill the accid ental killer. 21 "But if the slayer shall at any time come without the border of the city of his refuge .000 virgins -. 2:30 At God's instructions. 35:26-28 "Whoso killeth any person. 2:14-16 "A land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time ... he shall not be guilty of blood.bly God) instructed..slowly. 35:19. Because he should have remained in the city of his refuge until the d eath of the high priest" If the accidental killer leaves the city of refuge and is caught by the revenger of blood.

"for the Lord thy God is among y ou. 3:3-6 "And we utterly destroyed them. 7:10 God commands his people to "consume all the people which the Lord thy God sh all deliver thee. or "take" any of their daughters. be sure to reject their beliefs and d o not learn about them. without mercy." 4 :34 If someone makes an image of anything (like a bird or flower) then God will destroy the entire nation.. 6:15 God instructs the Israelites to kill. until they be destroyed. Otherwise God will have to kill you too. too . ye shall surely perish." 3:22 "What God is there in heaven or in earth. 3:21 When going to war. and children. "he shall fight for you. that can do according to thy works ?" What other God can kill so many people? 3:24 God destroyed the followers of Baalpeor." 7:23 "If thou do at all forget the LORD thy God. and shall destroy them with a mighty destruction. and by great terrors. "thou shalt surely kill him. then you'll get God so angry that he'll " destroy thee suddenly." 8:19-20 God is "a consuming fire" that destroys people." 7:16 God will send hornets to kill your enemies. a mighty God and terrible. and walk after other gods . all the inhabitants (st rangers) of the land that they conquer.The Israelites. son. with God's help. kill all the men. of every city. 4:25-26 If you worship the wrong god..." 3:6 Moses promises Joshua that God will massacre kings and kingdoms for him. or friend tries to get you to worship another god.. God will get jealous and kill you. daughter." 7:4 God will kill those who hate him. thine eye shall have no pity on them. as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon. women." 13:6-10 . wife. God is on your side. "give your daughters to any of t hem. 12:30 Prophets and dreamers are to be executed if they say or dream the wrong thin gs. utterl y destroying the men.. and children of ev ery city. 13:1-5 If your brother. women." Isn't this the sort of thing that Satanists are accused of doing? 12:27 After God kills those of other faiths. thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death.. 9:3 "The blood of sacrifices shall be poured out . don't be afraid. 4:3 God brought the Israelites out of Egypt "by war ." 7:20-23 "The LORD thy God shall deliver them unto thee. and thou shalt eat the fles h. 7:2 If you do show any mercy to such strangers.

" 19:21 God travels with people and fights in their wars. 2 5:1-3 If two men fight and the wife of one grabs the "secrets" of the other. then "the men of the city shall stone her to death." 22:23-24 Legal disputes are settled by a judge who determines guilt or innocence. wash your hands over its body. If her father can't produce the "tokens of h er virginity" (bloody sheets). thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth. foot for foot... No lawyers or jury are needed. 17 :2-7 Anyone who will not listen to a priest or a judge must be executed. shalt thou take unto yourself. the blind and the lame. cut off the head of a heifer.If you hear of a city where another god is worshiped. Life for life. infants." then you and the other men in y our neighborhood "shall stone him with stones that he die. which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inherita nce." 25:11-12 .." 22:22 If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough.. pregnant mothers. "And thine eye shall not pity" them. he can claim she wasn 't a virgin when they were married." Kill the old men and women. How do you know who is a false prophet? By whether or not their predictions come true. hand for hand. tooth for tooth.. 21:22-23 If a man marries. (Watch out Salt Lake!) 13:12-16 Kill everyone who has religious beliefs that are different from your own. 19:11-13 False witnesses are to be execucuted. 20:16 If you find a dead body and don't know the cause of death. "then thou shalt cut off her hand" and "thine eye shall not pity her. 20:4 In the cities that god "delivers into thine hands" you must kill all the mal es (including old men. then they shall both of them die. 19:18-19 "And thine eye shall not pity. the sick and the dying. and babies. then destroy everyone in the city (even the cattle) and burn it down.. toddlers. (Watch out Jehova h's Witnesses!) 18:20 A murderer is to be killed by "the avenger of blood.. (That'll do it!) 21:1-8 If you have a "stubborn and rebellious son. nursing mother s." 21:18-21 When someone commits "a sin worthy of death" that person is "accursed of God " and should be hung on a tree. an d say our hands have not shed this blood. then get all the elders together." which is the victim's nearest relative. then the woman is to be stoned to death at her fa ther's doorstep. 22:13-21 "If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband. But th e women . boys. Those found guilty will be beaten with 40 stripes. 17:12-13 False prophets are to be (you guessed it) executed." 20:13 "But of the cities . then decides that he hates his wife. and babies) with "the edge of the sword . eye for eye.

become a lau ghingstock among your neighbors." 28:21 "The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee. and no man shall save thee. 28:33-34 "The Lord will smite thee in the knees. from the sole of thy foot unto the top of thy head. have your crops destroyed by locusts. and all . and the emerods [hemorrho ids].God commands the Israelites to "blot out the rembrance of Amalek from under heaven." 28:26 "The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt. thirst." (1 Samuel 15:2-3) 25:19 If you don't obey all of the laws that are given in the Old Testament." 28 :28 "And thou shalt grope at noonday. and astonishment of heart. forced to serve other gods. and in the legs. hardship." 28:24 "The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies. as the blind gropeth in darkness.. in all that th ou settest thine hand unto for to do. and astonishment of heart.. with a sore botch t hat cannot be healed." 28:20 "The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee. and the emerods [hemorrho ids]. and blindness. thine ass shall be violently taken away.." 28:31 "Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people. God s hower you with the curses that are given in the next 52 verses. and upon thy seed for ever. and with the scab." 28:18 "The LORD shall send upon thee cursing. but thou shall not enjoy them." 28:29 "Thine ox shall be slain before thine eyes . for the y shall go into captivity. whereof thou canst be healed." 28:32 You will be enslaved and driven mad in another country. The Lo rd will smite thee with madness. until he have consumed thee. and no man shall fray them away. vexation. and with the itch. and with the scab. and rebuke." 28:41 "All these curses shall come upon thee . and . until thou be destroyed. and until thou pe rish quickly. 28:36-40 "Thou shalt begat sons and daughters." 28:4 8-49 God will enslave you and destroy you with hunger." A few hundred years later God orders Saul to kill of the Amalekites "bo th man and woman." 28:35 You will be ruled by other nations." 28:25 "And thy carcass shall be meat to all the fowls of the air. 28:16-68 "Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body. and have fruitless olive trees. infant and suckling. and with the itch. and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled eve rmore." 28:27 "The Lord will smite thee with madness. your vine s eaten by worms. until thou be destroyed." 28:2 7-28 "The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt.. whereof thou canst be healed.

" 28:53 "So that the man that is tender among you. the flesh of thy sons and o f thy daughters." Not even the helpless and innocent are spared by this psychotic God. 28:68 If you serve the gods of other nations. 30:7 Moses tells the people that God will destroy all the inhabitants of the land s that they pass through. God will curse you with all the curses in Deut eronomy 28:15-68." 8:58-61 i t b 2 If the Jews don't follow God's laws he'll have most of them killed. 31:3 When God gets mad -. and set on fire the foundations of the mountains. 29:18-20 If you follow your own heart." 32:22 .kinds of deprivation. and toward the wife of his bosom. and the plagues of hy seed . He'll "destroy both the young man and the virgin. a nd shall consume the earth with her increase." See Deuteronomy 28:16-64 for some of the curses God has in mind. Also every sickness." 28:63 "And the LORD shall scatter thee among all people. and shall burn unto the lowest hell. and thou shalt fear day and n ight." 28:66 "In the morning thou shalt say. 28:62 "The LORD will rejoice over you to destroy you. and send vicious beasts to devour you.but even they won't buy you. burn you with fir e.. until thou be destroyed. and to bring you to nought.watch out! He'll starve you to death. from the one end of the e arth even unto the other." 28:56-57 "If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written n this book. "all the curses that are in this boo k" will fall upon you. Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou sh alt fear. 32:21-26 "For a fire is kindled in mine anger. the suckling also with the man of gray hairs." 28:54-55 "The tender and delicate woman" will be forced to eat her own children "that cometh out from between her feet. Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful. and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see." 28:65 "And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee." 28:67 God will have you sold to your enemies -. and toward the rem nant of his children which he shall leave: So that he will not give to any of th em of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat. and every plague. and very delicate. and shalt have none assurance of thy life. them will the LORD bring upon thee. 29:19-20 "And the Lord will put all these curses upon thine enemies. Would God it were even! and at even thou sha lt say. which is not written in the ook of this law. and sorrow of mind.. and failing of eyes. his eye shall be evil toward his brother. 28:48-52 "And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body." 28:64 "The LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart. and there thou shalt serve other gods.

"I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them." 32:23
"They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with b
itter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the pois
on of serpents of the dust." 32:24
"The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and
the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs." 32:25
"I said, I would scatter them into corners, I would make the remembrance of
them to cease from among men." 32:26
God says, "To me belongeth vengeance, and recompense ... for the day of thei
r destruction is at hand." 32:35
God says, "I kill ... I wound ... I will make my arrows drunk with blood, an
d my sword shall devour flesh." Someone should take his sword and arrows away, a
t least until he's feeling better. 32:39-43
Joshua
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid,
neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou g
oest."
Donald Rumsfeld sent this verse to inspire the troops during the 2003 invasi
on of Iraq. 1:9
God "magnifies" Joshua and promises to "without fail" drive out all the inha
bitants of the lands through which they passed. 3:7
"And the city shall be accursed ... and all that therein, to the Lord: only
Rahab the harlot shall live." God explains that Rahab is to be spared since she
hid Joshua's spies and lied to those who were searching for them (2:4-5). But wh
y was everyone else killed? Some of them were probably liars too. 6:17
"And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, yo
ung and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword." 6:21
After killing everyone, "they burnt the city with fire, and all that was the
rein." Only the valuables (silver, gold, brass, and iron) did they keep to "put
into the treasury of the house of the Lord." 6:24
Joshua says that those who try to rebuild Jericho will be accursed by God, a
nd will have to sacrifice both their oldest and their youngest sons in its const
ruction. But Jericho still exists today, and is often considered to be the world
's oldest, continuously occupied city. 6:26
God tells Joshua to kill whoever took "the accursed thing." 7:10-12
If you happen to see "the accursed thing," don't touch it. If you do, you, y
our family, and all of your animals must be burned. 7:15
"And Joshua ... took Achan ... and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen
, and his sheep... And all of Israel stoned them with stones, and burned them wi
th fire, after they had stoned them with stones." This is because Achan "took of
the accursed thing" -- whatever that means. But why would God require that Acha
n's sons and daughters (and even his animals) be stoned to death along with him?
The Bible doesn't say. But it does tell us that "the Lord turned from the fierc
eness of his anger" when Achan, his children, and his animals were stoned to dea
th and their dead bodies burned. 7:24-26

"When ye have taken the city [Ai] ... ye shall set the city on fire: accordi
ng to the commandment of the LORD. 8:8
"They smote them, so that they let none of them remain or escape." 8:22
"When Israel had made an end of slaying all the inhabitants of Ai in the fie
ld ... all the Israelites returned unto Ai, and smote it with the edge of the sw
ord." 8:24
"All that fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand." 8:25
Joshua hangs the king of Ai on a tree until evening. 8:29
After Joshua kills all the inhabitants of Ai, burns their city, and hangs th
eir king on a tree, he kills some animals and burns them as a "peace offering" t
o his warlike God. 8:31
God curses the Gibeonites to be slaves of the Jews forever. 9:21-27
"And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them int
o thine hand."
God delivers the Amorites into Joshua's hand (so he can kill them all). 10:8
"And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great sla
ughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way."
God slaughters the Amorites and even chases them along the way. 10:10
"The LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them ... and they died."
As the Amorites try to escape, God sends down huge hailstones and kills even
more of them. 10:11
In a divine type of daylight savings time, God makes the sun stand still so
that Joshua can get all his killing done before dark. 10:12-13
God tells Joshua to "pursue after your enemies and smite the hindmost of the
m." (Kick their butts.) Don't let any of them escape "for the Lord your God hath
delivered them into your hand." 10:19
Joshua tells his captains to "put your feet upon the necks of these kings."
He says, "thus shall the Lord do to all of your enemies." Then Joshua kills the
kings and hangs them on trees. 10:24-26
Joshua, at God's command, kills everyone and everything that he can find (in
cluding babies and little children)-- or, as the Bible puts it, he "utterly dest
royed all that breathed, as the Lord commanded." 10:28-32
Then Horam king of Gezer came up to help Lachish; and Joshua smote him and h
is people, until he had left him none remaining." 10:33
"Joshua passed unto Eglon ... and smote it with the edge of the sword, and a
ll the souls that were therein he utterly destroyed." 10:34-35
"Joshua went ... unto Hebron ... and smote it with the edge of the sword ...
and all the cities ... and all the souls that were therein; he left none remain
ing." 10:36-37
"Joshua returned ... to Debir ... And he took it ... and all the cities ...
and they smote them with the edge of the sword, and utterly destroyed all the so
uls that were therein; he left none remaining."10:38-39

"So Joshua ... left none remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed,
as the LORD God of Israel commanded." 10:40
"All these kings and their land did Joshua take at one time, because the LOR
D God of Israel fought for Israel." 10:42
God delivers the Hazorites into Joshua's hand, and he knows just what to do
with them: he smites them all with (you guessed it) the edge of the sword until
"there was not any left to breathe." 11:6-17
"And the LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them ... and
they smote them, until they left them none remaining." 11:8
"And Joshua did unto them as the LORD bade him: he houghed their horses." 11
:9
"Joshua ... smote the king thereof with the sword." 11:10
"And they smote all the souls that were therein with the edge of the sword,
utterly destroying them: there was not any left to breathe." 11:11
"And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did Joshua ta
ke, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly destroyed them, as
Moses the servant of the LORD commanded." 11:12
"Every man they smote with the edge of the sword, until they had destroyed t
hem, neither left they any to breathe." 11:14
"As the LORD commanded Moses his servant, so did Moses command Joshua, and s
o did Joshua; he left nothing undone of all that the LORD commanded Moses." 11:1
5
"So Joshua took ... all their kings ... and smote them, and slew them." 11:1
6-17
"For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts, that they should come agains
t Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly." Notice that God hardens
their hearts so that he can have an excuse to kill them. 11:20
"Joshua destroyed them utterly with their cities." 11:21
Caleb offers to give his daughter to whoever conquers the city of Debir. Cal
eb's nephew wins the contest and is given his cousin for a prize. 15:16-17
"Did not Achan son of Zerah commit a trespass in the accursed thing, and wra
th fell on all the congregation of Israel?" To find out see Joshua 7:1-26. 22:20
"I plagued Egypt." 24:5
God brags about drowning the Egyptians. 24:7
"I gave them [the Amorites] into your hand, that ye might possess their land
; and I destroyed them from before you." 24:8
"I delivered them into your hand." 24:11
God sent hornets to fight for the Israelites. 24:12
God is jealous and will never forgive you for your sins. "He will turn and d

1:2-6 The LORD delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites into their hand: and th ey slew of them in Bezek ten thousand men. Blessed art thou among women. about 10. except for the man (and his f amily) who showed them how to enter the city..." Nice guys. "So God subdu ed on that day Jabin.?) 5:24-26 "So let all thine enemies perish. 6: 1 "The LORD said unto him. God forces ..." (Hail Jael. 3:15-22 God "delivers" more folks into the hands of his chosen people. 1:25 "The children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD: and the LOR D strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel . O Lord..." 3:12-14 Ehud delivers a "message from God" to the king of Moab.. 6 :16 "The second bullock was offered upon the altar. The Lord delivers his foes into his ha nds and another 10. Jabin's ca ptain). the Lord is with thee." (You can tell by the number of innocent people he killed. with the edge of the sword ." 6:28 When Gideon and his water-lapping companions blow their trumpets. So the children of Isra el served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years... Surely I will be with thee. and there wa s not a man left. fear not.." (Let them all have their temples pierced by blessed women." 4:9 "The Lord discomfited Sisera . .. she drives a tent stake through his head. And the Lord was with Judah.o you hurt." 24:19-20 Judges God appoints Judah to succeed Joshua.. saying "turn in my Lord . and their escaped not a man." 4:17-23 For murdering her guest while he slept.) 5:31 "The children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD: and the LORD deli vered them into the hand of Midian seven years.. full of grace." 3:28-29 Shamgar kills 600 Philistines with an ox goad." 4:15-16 Jael (our heroine) offers food and shelter to a traveler (Sisera.. 3:31 "The Lord shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman." God promises to help Gideon kill all the Midianites. Praise God.) 1:17. In the process." 1:4 "They slew the Canaanites that inhabited Zephath. "and the dirt came out. God's message consis ts of a knife thrust so deeply into the king's belly that it could not be extrac ted. and utterly destroyed it .. and consume you." Then after giving him a glass of milk and tucking him in. "And they sle w of Moab . 19 The Israelite spies killed everyone in Bethel." Just another lovely Bible story. Jael is "blessed above women." God forces the Israelites to be slaves to the Midianites for seven years..000 men .000 are slain. and thou shalt smite th e Midianites as one man. they capture Adonibezek and "c ut off his thumbs and great toes.

a deal's a deal.000. his nameless daughter comes out to greet him (who'd he expect." 13:19 Samson's lust for the Philistine woman was "of the Lord." 11:24 When "the spirit of the Lord" comes upon Jephthah.. 9:57 "God . them will we [t he Israelites] possess." God had one thousand men and women burned to death to punish them for suppor ting Abimelech rather than Jotham." 8:17 Gideon orders his son to kill two kings. 14:4 Samson rips up a young lion when "the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him. with a very great slaughter. an d with them he taught the men of Succoth. and thorns of the wilderness and briers.) 8:7 "He took the elders of the city. 7:25 For refusing to feed him and his army. then he (Jephthah) will offer to God a s a burnt offering whatever comes out of his house to greet him." 11:39 42.all the enemy soldiers to kill each other." Later. 8:10 Two princes are killed and their heads are brought to Gideon.." 11:32-33 "Her father ." It was all a part of God's plan for killing Philistines. 11:29-39 "The LORD delivered them into his hands .after letting her spend a couple of months going up and down on the mountains bewailing her virginity. and offered it upon a rock unto the LORD.. delivered Sihon and all his people into the hand of Israel. Gideon swears that he'll tear the fle sh off the elders of Succoth. Well. 14:5-8 . and maggots?). (And he carries out his threat in verse 16. 9:23-24 "And all the evil of the men of Shechem did God render upon their heads: and upon them came the curse of Jotham the son of Jerubbaal.." 11:21 "Whomsoever the LORD our God shall drive out from before us. and devour the men o f Shechem. God keeps his e nd of the deal by providing Jephthah with "a very great slaughter. but he refuses. killing 120.. 12:6 "Manoah took a kid with a meat offering. so he delivers her to God as a burnt offering .. fli es." (See 9:57) 9:20 God sends evil spirits that cause humans to deal treacherously with each oth er. did with her according to his vow which he had vowed. he makes a deal with God: If God will help him kill the Ammonites. And he smote them . even twent y cities . and slew the men of the city." 8:16 "He beat down the tower of Penuel. and the y smote them: so Israel possessed all the land of the Amorites.or just rotting flesh. 8:20-21 The curse of Jotham: "Let fire come out from Abimelech. hi s wife?). So Gideon has to do it himself since his son isn't "man" enough to do it...." But when Jep hthah returns. 7:22. when going to "take" his Philistine wife he notices a swarm of bees and honey in the lion's carcass (a Divine miracle -..000 Ephraimites fail the "shibboleth" test and are killed by Jephthah's a rmy.

So they sent out five men to find some land.000 Israelites. but accepts the concubine and they "abuse her al l night. 19:22-30 "I took my concubine. explaining the mysterious rotting body part messages that brought everyone in Israel together. he killed 30 men at random and took their clothes and gave it to the guys at the party as a prize for guessing his riddle. 20:37 Another 25. and slew thirty men ." 20:26-28 God helps the Israelites kill 25. 18:127 After taking in a traveling Levite. 20:4-6 After the Benjamites refuse to turn over the men from Gibeah (the town that wanted to have sex with the Levite but settled for his concubine instead). the Philistines burn Samson's ex-wife and father-in-law. the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine to a mob of perverts (who want to have sex with his guest) . and took it. The Levite puts her dead body on an ass and takes her home." 15:4-8 "The spirit of the Lord came mightily upon" Samson and "he found a new jawbo ne of an ass .000 Israelites were killed by the Benjamites." 15:14-15 Samson. 20:44-4 6 .000 Israelites are killed. the I sraelites asked God which tribe should go to war with them. 16:2730 The Massacre of the Peaceful. 20:18-21 After 22. and Samson smites them "hip and thigh with a great slaughter. (Samson might have been a decent person if he could have kept the spirit of the Lord off him. but the Benjamites with their sha rp shooting lefties kill 22. God said yes. and slew 1000 men therewith. and ask again (for the third time) if they should attack the Benjamites. and he went down to Ashkelon. and another 18. Then he chops her body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of Israel. This time he promises (he was just kidding the last couple times) that he "will deliver them into thine hand. with God's help.100 Benjamites.000 Benjamites are killed by the God-assisted Israelites. kills himself and 3000 Philistine men and women by causing a roof to collapse."And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him. 20:23-25 Once again all of the Israelites sit and weep before God. So Judah goes to war. setting an example for Bible-based terrorism.. ties their tails together. 20:35 The Israelites killed everyone in the city with the edge of the sword. God give them his usual a nswer: Attack." When the Spirit of the Lord came upon Samson. and sets them on fire.) 14:19 Samson catches 300 foxes... Then they ask God (again) if they should go to war against Benjamin .." The Levite tells everyone his story (leaving out the part about how he gave his concubine to the mob to do with as they pleased). Unsuspecting People The story begins with the tribe of Dan (one of the 12 tribes of Israel) look ing for a nice place to live. and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the r iddle. and sent her throughout all the country. The mob refuses the daughter. they cry all day befo re the Lord." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. and cut her in pieces. God said the tribe o f Judah should go first. so they try it again.

.. and he took a yoke of oxen.070 men for looking into the ark." People do the darnedest things when the spirit of God comes upon them! 11:6-7 "Saul . "And the people lamented. consume thine eyes and . and sent them throughout all the coast of Israel.. 11:11 To day the LORD hath wrought salvation in Israel..." 5: 6-12 God kills 50. 3:12-1 3 "The two sons of Eli. (In this way God helped the Israelites make every thing better after the rape and dismemberment of the concubine. on H ophni and Phinehas. 2:6. and everything they could find in every Benjamite city. There shall not be an old man in thine house for ever .) 2:34 God will punish Eli's descendants forever for the sins of Eli's sons. 25 "The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces." 7:10-11 "And the spirit of God came upon Saul .. slew the Ammorites unto the heat of the day." A "man of God" tells Eli that God will "consume his eyes" and "grieve his he art" and make sure that all of his decendants will die young" because of the stu ff his sons did. he'll send a thunderstorm your w ay to break your body into little pieces. (See 2:25 and 34) 4:11 God smites the people of Ashdod with hemorrhoids "in their secret parts. because God had already decided to kill them. and offered it for a burnt offering wholly unto the LORD. were slain." . They will go and kill everyone in J abeshgilead except for the virgin women and give them to the 600 surviving Benja mites. Then they bu rned the cities to the ground.. an d discomfited them. in one day they shall die both of them. After all. I will cu t off thine arm.. out of heaven shall he thunder upon them. 2:10 "Because the LORD would slay them." Eli's sons didn't listen to him." God killed Eli's sons as he promised to do." If God doesn't like you." 6:19 "And Samuel took a sucking lamb. grieve thine heart.. killing is hard work.. animals. (Just ot remind him of th e nasty things he plans to do to him and his descendants to punish him for what his sons did." God says he'll kill his two sons as a sign to him. and said unto him. 21:11 1 Samuel "The Lord killeth" -.) 20:48 Here's what the Israelites decide to do.. Thus saith the LORD .." Then he took a littl e break." 7:9 The LORD thundered with a great thunder on that day upon the Philistines.every chance he gets.The Israelites finish their massacre of the Benjamites by killing all the me n. (Which he does in 4:11. 2:27-32 "And this shall be a sign unto thee. and he wed them in pieces. Hophni and Phinehas..) 2:25 "A man of God unto Eli. I s hall . and they were smitten before Israel. that shall come upon thy two sons.. bec ause the Lord had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter.

Bring hither a burnt offering to me. and asses. 23 David kills Goliath with his sling. and slew them with a great slaughter. the Philistines killed each other. 14:12 Under God's influence." 18:6-7. women. Saul and his army kill all of those who had not already been kill ed. he sends Samue l to find another king. camels. "surely the bitterness of death has past. sheep." But if God is go od. 29:5 David kills 200 Philistines and brings their foreskins to Saul to buy his fi rst wife (Saul's daughter Michal). 15:2-3 Saul killed everyone but Agag (the king) and the best of the animals." 16:13 "But the spirit of the Lord departed from Saul [since he was not murderous e nough for God]. 22:18-19 ." 15:7-26 Saul is rebuked by Samuel for "doing evil in the sight of the Lord" by faili ng to kill all of the Amalekites. 18:25-27 "David went out. 15:18-19 Because Saul didn't kill everyone as God commanded. was about twenty men.. and peace offerings. and carries the head back t o Jerusalem. 14:23 But later. beheads him. "Saul has killed his thousands.. and fought with the Philistines. and "the spirit of the Lord came upon him from that day forward. And his very "first slaug hter . and an evil spirit from the Lord troubled him. a nd the women act as cheerleaders saying. And he offered the burnt offering. and Dav id his tens of thousands. Saul had only asked for 100 foreskins." 19:8 God will wipe all of David's enemies off the face of the earth. 17:51-57 David and Saul have a contest to see who can kill the most people for God. suckling s. 14:20 "So the LORD saved Israel that day." 13:9 God delivers the Philistines into Jonathan's hand. He said. then how could he have an evil spirit? 16:14-16. women. God changes his mind abo ut him being king. and animals in th e city of Nob. but Da vid was feeling generous. children." Not bad for a first slaughter.after Agag pleads with him saying. Why? Because God remembers what Amalek did hund reds of years ago. infants." God saved Israel by forcing Philistines to kill each other. Samuel hacks Agag in pieces "before the Lord" [I bet God enjo yed that!] -. ox. 20:15-16 Saul kills 85 priests of Nob and all men. "it repenteth me that I have set Saul up to be king. 21:11. But st ill God was furious with Saul for not killing everything as he had been told to do." 15:32-34 After God rejects Saul for refusing to kill indiscriminately. 11:13 "Saul said.God saved the Israelites by slaughtering the Ammonites. 14:36 God orders Saul to kill all of the Amalekites: men. David is chosen and anointed by Samuel. 15:23-26 To please God.

Shall I go and smite these Philistines? And the Lord said unto David. I will deliver the Philistines into thine hand.. That's why God loved him so m uch." This was convenient for David who then took his property and his wife.) 28:8-19 "Because thou obeyedst not the voice of the LORD. "Saul has killed his thousands.. Fair is fair. And the LORD answered him and sa id . He says God is going to deliver all of Israel into the ha nds of the Philistines.. and smite the Philistines." 25:39 "And David smote the land and left neither man nor woman alive." 28:18 "The LORD will also deliver Israel with thee into the hand of the Philistine s: and to morrow shalt thou and thy sons be with me." (No wonder God liked David so much!) 27:8-11 Saul visits a woman with a "familiar spirit" and she brings Samuel back from the dead. fought with the Philistines . saying.. singing. (Since Saul refused to slaughter innocent people. Go. nor executedst his fierce wrath upon Amalek... even though David had committed m any genocides for them. he said. to take her to him to wife. and smote them with a great sl aughter." If Abigail hadn't come and paid him off. 28:19 The Philistine leaders didn't trust David. And David sent and communed with Abigail." 23:4 "So David . surely there had not been lef t unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall. 29:5 "David said unto Achish. 25:38 "When David heard that Nabal was dead. "any that pi sseth against the wall". Abigail. that h e died." David vows to will kill Nabal and all his men (or as he put it.. They had heard about how the Israelite dancing girls use d to sing about David's killings. that the Lord smote Nabal.) 25:22 "Except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me. But they were wrong about that. He wanted to go kill Israelites with the Philistines . Blessed be the LORD .." 23:5 "If I leave . David would have killed Nabal and a ny of his people "that pisseth against the wall". 25:34 "And it came to pass about ten days after. But what have I done . that I may not go fight ag ainst the enemies of my lord the king?" David was disappointed.. Samuel once again explains that God is angry at Saul for not killing all of the Amalekites." So they worried that David could not be trusted to kill his own people. and D avid his tens of thousands. therefore hath the LORD done this thing unto thee this day... 29:8 "David smote them from the twilight even unto the evening of the next day: a ." 23:2 "Then David enquired of the LORD yet again. David was always willing to kill anyone at anytime for any reason whatsoever."David inquired of the Lord. God wi ll slaughter the Israelites.. any that pisseth against the wall." God sent a message to Saul (through a dead man brought back to life by a wit ch) was that tomorrow God would make sure that the Philistines kill him and his sons (to punish Saul for not killing all the Amalekites like God told him to in 15:3).

The LORD hath broken forth upon mine enem ies before me. God says yes. and Abinadab. and all his men." Was this a part of Saul's punishment for not killing all the Amalekites? 31:9-10 2 Samuel David tells one of his "young men" to kill the Amalekite messenger who claim ed to have mercifully killed Saul at Saul's own request. 3:27. and their descendants forever." God had the Philistines kill Saul's sons to punish him for not killing all t he Amalekites. starve to d eath. Saul's sons. save four hundred young men. and sent into the land of the Philistines round ab out . to smite the host of the Philistines.. The blame." God used the Philistines to kill the Israelite soldiers to punish Saul for n ot killing all the Amalekites." 31:6 They cut off his head . He kills all of that escaped on camels. and his armourbearer. and he 'll even help.. and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines." 5: 8 "David . So David and God "smote the Philistines" again. So David curses Joab. 5:19 "David smote them there. thinking that he'll be pleased. grew great. or lean on staves. commit suicide. (See 15:7-8 and 27:8-9 for the last exterminated. and thrust his sword in his fellow side. But he wasn 't." God helps David slaughter his enemies. and they fastened his body to the wall of Bethshan. then shall the LORD go out before thee. and Melchishua.. 4:6. their hands and feet chopped off. (See 28:19) 31:1 "The Philistines slew Jonathan." 5:10 David asks God if he should kill some more Philistines." 2:14 Abner smites Asahel "under the fifth rib.re al men don't spin or weave." (It seems that in 2 Samuel this i s the preferred place to get smitten. and his three sons. David has the assassins killed. 4:6-7 Whoever kills the lame and the blind will be David's "chief and captain. so th ey fell down together.) 3:27-29 Some of David's men kill Saul's son (by smiting him under the fifth rib.. "And they caught every one his fellow by the head. th at same day together. lays with Joab. and fell down slain in mount Gilboa. his family. David says that he and his kingdom are not responsible. 1:15 Joab and Abner watch as the young men "play" a cruel game. and their bodies hung up (for decorations?) over the pool in Hebron.. (The Revised Standard Version translate s "leaneth on a staff" as "holds a spindle. of course) and bring his head to David. See 28:19) 31:2 "So Saul died. and said.. . Let them all be plagued with venereal diseases and leprosy." apparently meaning effeminate -. and the LORD God of hosts was with him. 5:20 "When thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees .) 30:17 "Now the Philistines fought against Israel. h e says. 20:10) 2:23 When Joab (David's captain) kills Abner (by smiting him under the fifth rib of course)." .nd there escaped not David spends the them except for 400 two times they were a man of them." day killing more of those pesky Amalekites..

. 12 "Then cried a wise woman out of the city .. 21:1 . and made them pass through the brick-kiln. Behold..." 20:10. Let me now run.. and God kills him for it.. his head shall be throw n to thee over the wall . as the LORD had commanded him. God kills Bathsheba's baby boy.. 12: 14-18 "He . and the Lord pres erved David withersoever he went.) 13:28-29 "There was there a great slaughter that day of twenty thousand men . "So God sent a famine to punish a kingdom for something that a former king had done. 18:14 "Then said Ahimaaz . which includes incest. how that t he LORD hath avenged him of his enemies. and bear the king tidings. and t he wood devoured more people that day than the sword devoured. And the LORD preserved David whith ersoever he went.. Joab thrusts three darts through his heart..000 m en! 18:7-8 Poor Absalom gets his head caught in an oak tree." 8:13-14 David tells Joab (his captain) to send Bathsheba's husband (Uriah) to "the f orefront of the hottest battle .. murder. 12:31 Absalom has his servants kill his brother for raping his sister.. and smote the Philistines." 8:5-6.. and cast it o ut to Joab. " 5:25 Uzzah tries to keep the ark from falling off the cart. (This chapt er. rape.." David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of several cities. put them under saws.. and under harrows of iron. David gets another wife.. because he slew the Gibeon ites. When David asks God why . 6:6-7 "I was with thee whithersoever thou wentest. And they cut off the head of Sheba . being eighteen thousand men .. and before he can get free . and his bloody house." (See 2 Samuel 17:14) 18:19 Amasa is viciously slaughtered by Joab." In this way. that he may be smitten and die. I guess it was God's way of saying Thanks." God was with David wherever he went and killed all of his enemies for him. 11:17-27 To punish David for having Uriah killed.. He also cr ipples the captured horses. and have cut off all thine enem ies out of thy sight. And Amasa wallowed in blood in the midst of the highway." It must have been a really spooky forest to have devoured more than 20." 20:16-22 A famine is sent on David's kingdom for three years....5:24 "And David did so. who "shed out his bowels to the grou nd . 14 "David gat him a name when he returned from smiting of the Syrians in the va lley of salt. should be rated NC-17. 7 :9 David kills two thirds of the Moabites and makes the rest slaves. 11:15. God answers: "It is for Saul. 8:2-4 "David slew of the Syrians two and twenty thousand men . and under axes of ir on.

but he answere d them not. And he slew an Egyp tian." God stopped the famine after Saul's two sons and five grandsons were killed and hung up for him. slew two lionlike men of Moab: he went down also and slew a lion in the midst of a pit in time of snow.To appease God and end the famine that was caused by his predecessor (Saul). And after that God was intreated for the land." 22:41 "They looked." 22:43 "It is God that avengeth me." 22:48-49 "And the LORD wrought a great victory that day. and the people returned afte r him only to spoil. or 3) three days of pestilence." 21:9 "They gathered the bones of them that were hanged . lifted up his spear against three hundred. and destroyed them." 23:11-12 "Abishai . and his hand clave unto the sword: and the LORD wrought a great victory that da y." 22:38-39 "Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies. David can't decide. but there was none to save." 23:10-12 The chief of David's captains killed with his own spear 800 guys at one time . 23:8 "Eleazar the son of Dodo .. they are fallen under my feet. and that bringeth down the people under me. And I have consumed them." 23:20-21 God offers David a choice of punishments for having conducted the census: 1) seven years of famine (1 Chr 21:12 says three years). slew the Philistines: and the LORD wrought a gr eat victory.. smote the Philistines until his hand was weary. David agrees to have two of Saul's sons and five of his grandsons killed and hu ng up "unto the Lord.. a goodly man: and the Egyptian had a spear in his hand.. I did stamp them as the mire of the street. even unto the LORD." 22:42 "I beat them as small as the dust of the earth.000 men (and probably around 200. killing 70." 23:1 8 "Benaiah the son of Jehoiada . And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high a bove them that rose up against me. and slew them." 21:6-9 "They hanged them in the hill before the LORD.. and wounded them... 2) three months fleeing f rom enemies.. that I might destroy the m that hate me." Might as well learn from an expert." 23:9-10 "Shammah the son of Agee . so God chooses for him and sends a pestilence.. 24:13 1 Kings . 22:35 "I have pursued mine enemies. and turned not again until I had consumed them. that they coul d not arise: yea..000 women and children). 21:13-14 "He teacheth my hands to war.

Solomon killed 22.." 13:26 God promises to "bring evil upon the house of Jerobaom. and that the blood of Joab's victims "shall therefore return upon the head of Joab.. 8:5 When dedicating the temple. the hand of king Je roboam. (2 Kings 8:22) 11:15-16 "Solomon sought therefore to kill Jeroboam.." Ever the playful spirit. 2:1-9 Solomon has his brother (Adonijah) murdered.000 sheep.. pr . God withers. "The Lord shall return thy wickedness upon thine own head.or as Solom on put it. 14:10-11 "Him that dieth of Jeroboam in the city shall the dogs eat." 14 :11 "When thy feet enter into the city. and slain him. their dead bodies will be eaten by dogs (if they are city dwellers) or fowls (if they are country folk). he commands his son Solomon to murder Joab and Shimei . The first prophet lied to the second. Get it? 13:11-24 "When the prophet . heard thereof. 2:29-34 Solomon justifies the murder of Joab by saying that Joab also was a murderer . It is the man of God.In David's last words. and him that die th in the field shall the fowls of the air eat: for the LORD hath spoken it. who was disobedient unto the word of the LORD: therefore the LORD hath delivered him unt o the lion. the child shall die. Note that this is a guy who "did w hat was right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Kings 22:2)." 2:33 But Solomon is not done murdering yet.." Then. Solomon killed mor e animals than could be numbered. he said. and the king's hand was restored him again." 14:12 "For the LORD shall smite Israel ." Joab (David's captain) spent six months killing every male in Edom.000 oxen and 120. and upon the head of his seed for ever." saying he will "cut off" anyone "that pisseth against the wall. dried up . 46 Solomon killed and sacrificed 1000 animals to God at Gibeon. Yet a fe w years later Edom revolted.. and slew him. and then restores. which hath torn him. which he put forth against him. 3:4 When the ark of the covenant was brought into the temple.. according to the word of the LOR D. And he does so in 2 Kings 23:20." 11:40 King Josiah is prophesied to sacrifice the priests of the "high places" on t heir altars. after he is done with them. 2:24-25 Solomon carries out the deathbed instructions of his father David by having Joab murdered. because they have made their groves. had smitten every male in Edom.. To t he punish the second for believing the first's lie." So there were these two prophets. And the man of G od besought the LORD." 2:44. 13:2 "And his hand. 13:4-6 "A lion met him by the way. He has Shimei murdered -. God sent a lion to kill him. 8: 63 "Joab .

died . nor of his friends. and in his sin which he did." The first God assisted "great slaugher" of the Syrians.." 20:29 "There a wall fell upon twenty and seven thousand of the men that were left." 20:13 "They slew every one his man: and the Syrians fled. according to the word of the Lord. said. and burnt the king's house over him with fire." Zimri kills everyone "that pisseth against a wall ." God kills 127." God says he's going to kill Baasha's family (like he did Jeroboam's). For his sins which he sinned in doing evil in the sight of the LORD. The LORD is God of the hills." This s laughter was done "according to the word of the Lord. 14:17 Baasha kills "all of the house of Jeroboam" leaving none "to breath. doing evil in the sight of the LORD. but he is not God of the valleys. saying. in walking in the w ay of Jeroboam. Hast thou seen all this great multitude? behold. to make Israel to sin." 16:11-12 "When Zimri saw that the city was taken. . I will deliver it into thine h and this day." Did God force Zimri to burn himself to death? 16:18-19 "Zimri .000 Syrians because they said he was God of the hills but not God of the valleys." 14:15 "When she came to the threshold of the door. and him that dieth of his in the fields shal l the fowls of the air eat. that he went into the palace of the king's house. 18:22." To punish Jeroboam for making gold calves. and set up the s thereof in his youngest son Segub.. and thou shalt know that I am the LORD." When Hiel rebuilds Jericho.ovoking the LORD to anger. the child died. 20:28 "The children of Israel slew of the Syrians an hundred thousand footmen in o ne day. (It w as a really big wall.. make thy house like the house of Jeroboam. and died. 40 "There came a prophet unto Ahab king of Israel. 20:21 God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites' hands. 16:3-4 "He slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall. and Israel pursued them . Thus did Zimri destroy all the house of Baasha. Thus saith the LORD." 16:18-19 "He laid the foundation thereof in Abiram his firstborn.) 20:28-30 "A man of God . Him that dieth of Baa sha in the city shall the dogs eat. and ye shall know that I am t he LORD.000 were killed in one day.. according to the word of the LORD. 27. Thus saith the LORD." 15:29 "I will . Because the Syrians have said. neither of his kinsfolks.. and 100. according to the word of the LORD. slew the Syrians with a great slaughter.. And the king of Israel .... he lays the foundation with the body of his st son and sets up the gates with his youngest son's body "according to the of the Lord. therefore will I deliver all this great multitude into thine hand..000 were crushed by a falling wall.. Of those that escaped...." Did God want Hiel to sacrifice his sons in this way? Did he make him do What does "according to the word of the Lord" mean here? 16:34 gate olde word it? Elijah kills 450 prophets of Baal. God killed his son.

Who shall persuade Ahab?" God asks for volunteer among the guys hanging out with him. the text assum es that the proper punishment for "blaspheming God and the king" is death by sto ning. (See 1 Kings 20:42 and 22:35) 20:34 There was this son of a prophet that said to his neighbor. "Smite me. I will not bring the evil in his days: but in his son's days will I bring the evil upon his house." Since Ahab humbles himself before the Lord." To punish her." 20:30 "Ben-hadad said unto him." 21:21 The dogs shall eat Jezebel." But t he neighbor refused." The prophet tells king Ahab that he will be killed and his people punished f or not killing Ben-hadad: "Your life shall go for his life. 1:2-8 Elijah shows that he is "a man of God" by burning 102 men to death. 21:23-25 "Seest thou how Ahab humbleth himself before me? because he humbleth himself before me. The cities. 20:35-36 Thus saith the LORD. I will restore . he'll he'll bring it on Ahab's son instead. and sent him away. He did t . 21:29 "And the LORD said. not Ahab. 21:10-13 "Thus saith the Lord. was repson sible for Naboth's death. God was jealous of the attention given to his competitor and tells Ahaziah tha t he will die for asking the wrong god. God will feed her dead body to the dogs." Although Naboth was set up here by Jezebel to steal his land." 20:42 "Thou didst blaspheme God and the king." Jezebel (Ahab's "strange" wife) "stirred up" Ahab to "work wickedness in the sight of the Lord." God says that dogs with lick Ahab's blood. and thy people for his people. God decides not to bring evil on him. even thine. 21:19 "Behold.. So he made a covenant with him. "he exterminate d" them. 22:19-22 Jehoshaphat "did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord" and "took" th e homosexuals (sodomites) "out of the land.. in the place where dogs licked the blood of Naboth sha ll dogs lick thy blood. 46 2 Kings Ahaziah was sick and sent messengers to Baalzebub to ask if he would recover . Then said Ahab. I will send thee away with this covenant. and your people for his people. He wants one of them to lie for him so that he can get Ahab kiiled." or as the RSV says. So God sent a lion to devour him. Because thou hast let go out of thy hand a man whom I a ppointed to utter destruction. I will bring evil upon thee." God will "bring evil upon" Ahab and kill everyone in his family "that pisset h against the wall. 22:43. and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall. God will later kill him for it. therefore thy life shall go for his life." King Ahab is merciful to king Beh-hada. and will take away thy posterity. He also plans to feed Ahab's family to the dogs (if they live in the city) and to t he birds (if they are country folks). which my father took from thy father. But Jezebel.

and mar every go od piece of land with stones. boiled and ate their o wn children because of a plague that God sent. Her body is eaten by dogs and all that re mains of it is her hands." 10:7-8 .. 5:27 "Elisha prayed unto the LORD. And he smote them with blindness according to the word of Elisha. He says. Baasha. Here he makes his servant (Gehazi) and all his descendants lepers forever. this evil is of the Lord. I pray thee." 9:6-7 "For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall. by which she is trampled. that I may avenge the blood of my servants the prophets. or as the Bible puts it: "Behold.. (And he is... 9:24 God has Jezebel thrown off a wall. feet. through the prophet Elisha. at the hand of Jezebel. "Lay ye them in two heaps ." 3:19-25 In a desperate attempt to halt the slaughter of his people by the Israelites ." 9: 10 God pays back Ahab by killing his son. with blindness. and said.) 7:2 A man is trampled to death for disbelieving Elisha.. 1:16-17 God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head.. to implement a sco rched earth policy on the Moabites. and Elisha tells him (indirectly) that he'll be killed for it. and there shall be none to bury her. Smite this people. and skull. Her blood is sprinkled on the wall and on the horses. and fell every good tree and stop all springs of water. 1:9-12 God kills Ahaziah for consulting another God. "Strike every fortified city and every choic e city. and did eat him. 6: 18 "So we boiled my son. 9:6-10 "Thus saith the LORD God . See 7. 9:9 "And the dogs shall eat Jezebel . thou shalt smite the house of Ahab thy master." 6:28-29.he job in two shifts of 51 men each. he can also dish it out. and the blood of all th e servants of the LORD." 9:33-37 All seventy of king Ahab's sons are killed. and sent to Jezreel." Women killed.. 2:23-24 God instructs the Israelites. God says that she "shall be as dung u pon the face of the field. the king of Moab sacrifices his oldest son as a burnt offering. their heads put in baskets." God will kill Ahab's family just like he did the families of Jeroboam and Ba asha. And it seems t o have worked! 3:27 Elisha not only can cure leprosy. 33 Someone questions Elisha's forecast. 8:1 God announces his plan to kill Ahab's family." 9:8 "I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam . 7:17-20 God sends a famine on the people that lasts for seven years..17-20.

14:3. behold. till he had destroyed him according to the word of the Lord. 7 God strikes king Azariah with leprosy "unto the day of his death" for not re moving the high places. orders his men to "Go in." 19:35 "Sennacherib ." 11:17-18 Amaziah "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord" and killed ten t housand Edomites. Note that this is a guy who " did what was right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Kings 22:2).000 men while they sleep. departed ." 10:25 God is greatly pleased with all of Jehu's killings.) 19:36-37 Josiah. let none come forth..) 19:7 An "angel of the Lord" kills 185. they were all dead corpses. and he shall hear a rumour. And they smote them with the edge of the sword. 11:15-16 The "Lord's people" destroyed the "house of Baal" and killed "the priest of Baal before the altars. and slay them. when he finishes his animal sacrifices." God will cause Sennacherib to be killed by the sword." God made the sons murder their father." 17: 25-26 I will send a blast upon him.." I guess they all woke up and said. and shall return t o his own land.. 15:5 God sent lions to devour the foreigners in Samaria because "they feared not the Lord. and then he murders them." and even worse "they knew not the manner of the God of the land. I'm dead. 23:26 . "And when they ar ose early in the morning. "If any of the men escape." 10: 16-17 Jehu lied to the followers of Baal so that he could trap and kill them. and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land." 10:13-14 Jehu shows off his zeal for the Lord by murdering "all that remained unto Ah ab in Samaria." 10:24 Jehu. God still punished him and all Jerusalem for the acts of his grandfather.. as he was worshipping in the house of Nisroch his god.Jehu kills all that remained of king Ahab's family. saying "because thou has t done well in executing that which is right in mine eyes. "Shucks. his life shall be for the life of him. kills "all the priests of the high p laces" and sacrifices them to God on their altars. (See verse 37 where Se nnacherib is killed by his own sons while praying. thy children of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel. 10:11 Jehu meets with 42 brothers of Ahaziah. And . and hast done unto th e house of Ahab according to all that was in mine heart [Jehu murdered them all] . 2 Chronicl es 22:7 says that his killing was "of God. apparently with God's approval. he that letteth him go." 10:3 0 Jehoida has Athaliah killed. 23:20 Even though Josiah did all that God asked of him. that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword .. 10:1 9 Jehu warns his guards saying. (See verse 7..

." 14:16 "David also houghed all the chariot horses. 11:11 Eleazar the son of Dodo . 11:20 "Benaiah ." See Numbers 25:7-8 to see what he did when the Lord was with him.." 18:6 "Abishai . Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captai n. 10:13-14 "David said.000 sheep and 100. taking 250.." They did pretty well for themselves.. 14:11 "David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Ph ilistines." 2:3 The sons of Reuben made war with the Hagarites and "there fell down many sla in... one of the three mighties . 5:18-22 But the Israelites "transgressed against the God of their fathers. because the war was from God. and fell down slain in mount Gilboa. Thus the LORD preserved David wh ithersoever he went. too." 11:22 God kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling." 18:4 "David slew of the Syrians two and twenty thousand men." 18:12-13 ." God helps David slaughter his enemies. promising to deliver them into his hand." 11:12-14 Abishai killed 300 men with his spear. in God's war..000 slaves." God used the Philistines to kill the Israelite soldiers to punish Saul for n ot killing all the Amalekites.... the LORD was with him. whom God destroyed before th em." 11:6 The chief of David's captains killed with his own spear 300 guys at one time . 18-19) and for consulting a witch (1 Sam 28:8-19). 9:20 "Now the Philistines fought against Israel." 18:5 "The LORD preserved David whithersoever he went. 14:10 "God hath broken in upon mine enemies by mine hand. slew two lionlike men of Moab: also he went down and slew a lio n. and went a whoring after the gods of the people of the land." God tells David to go to war with the Philistines. and all the Edomites became David's servants. slew of the Edomites in the valley of salt eighteen thousand . 5:25-26 "Phinehas ." So God inspired the Assyrians to enslave the Israelites. and the LORD saved them by a great deliverance. for I will deliver them into thine hand. Go up. slew the Philistin es.1 Chronicles God killed Er for being "evil in the sight of the Lord. 13:9-10 "The LORD said unto him. .. (See 1 Samuel 28:19) 10:1 Saul died for refusing God's order to kill all of the Amalekites (1 Sam 15:2 -3. and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines.

14:8-14 "Nation was destroyed of nation. 21:14 2 Chronicles "Solomon . but just make them Shishak's slaves instead. 7 :5 God sent Shishak. the son of Jeiel." (That is. the son of Benaiah.000 oxen and 120. and destr oyed it. Then the people of Judah spent three days .000 sheep. when dedicating the temple.. offered a thousand burnt offerings upon it. Ammonites. 12:2-12 God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500. "The children of Judah prevailed.. the king of Egypt. and about the time of the sun going down he died. "The Lord is righteou s... killed 22. the son of Mattanaiah) and told the people of Judah t hat they didn't have to fight against the Moabites.. an d consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices. And he did.000 Israelites. besieged Rabbah . they had God on their side." 15:6 "And they offered unto the LORD . whe ther small or great. whether man or woman.. kills one million Ethiopians. the fire came down from heaven. (See 1 Kings 20:42) 18:3 3-34 The spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel (the son of Zechariah.." 5:6 "When Solomon had made an end of praying. 20:3 God killed 70." Shishak had 1200 chariots. 15:15 "A certain man drew a bow . which could not be told nor numbered for multitude.." God killed Ahab for showing mercy to king Benhadad. God would fight for them. sacrificed sheep and oxen. because they relied upon the Lord God of their fath ers.... 60.000 footmen." 7:1 Solomon. Asa. to attack Jerusalem because Rehoboam "a nd all Israel transgressed against the Lord.. 19:18 David's army "wastes the children of Ammon . God fought for them by forcing the members of the opposing army to kill each other. and Edomites." When Shishak's army came to Jerusalem.David kills 7000 men in chariots and 40." 15:9 "Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death.000 horsemen and "people without number" and he attacked Judah and "took the fenced cities which pertained to Judah.. and smote the king of Israel ." 1:6 "Solomon .000 mean (and their families) in a plague to punish David for having a census that God (or Satan) inspired." 20:1 David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of several cities.." So God decided not to destroy Jerusalem." 15:13 Executing non-believers brings peace. seven hundred oxen and seven thousand sh eep. and city of city: for God did vex them with all adversity.) 13:15-20 In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the Bible. "the pr inces of Israel and the king humbled themselves" and said. with God's he lp.

and his wives..000 people in one day and enslaves 200.." 27:1-5 God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license." 21:16-17 "And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disea se.... 24:20-25 Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10." 28:6-8 . 21 "Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pie ces and killed Mattan the priest of Baal.000 men off a cliff? (See 25:12) 26:3-4 "He went forth and warred against the Philistines . hi s bowels fell out by reason of his sickness: so he died of sore diseases. 26:19-21 Pekah killed 120.. He fought .. 000 people. another 10. but not when he decided to worship other gods.. and the people of Judah with a great plague (for things that Jehoram did) and God will smite h im with a disease of his bowels until his bowels fall out. and of th e Arabians . and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal. did that which was right in the sight of the LORD. with the king of the Ammonites. 21:14-15 The LORD stirred up against Jehoram the spirit of the Philistines. and . And they came up into Judah. "And all the people of the land rejoiced: and the city was quiet.000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all wer e broken in pieces." (Don't you j ust love happy endings?) 23:14-15. 23:17 The spirit of God came upon Zechariah and he condemned everyone for disobeyi ng God.. "Whosoever else cometh into the house. his son s also. save Jehoahaz.. he shall be put to death... after that they had slain Athaliah with the sword. according to all that his father Amaziah did. did that which was right in the sight of the LORD . so that there was never a son left him." 21:18 -19 God told Jehu to kill everyone in the house of Ahab and then later condemned him for it (Hosea 1:4)..." 25:1-2..000 women and childr en "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers. 20:14-25 Elijah tells Jehoram that God will smite his children." 26:6-7 "Jothan ." LIke throwing 10. so the people stoned him to death. after the end of two years. 22:7-9 Only Levites can enter "the house of the Lord". S o they find her and kill her. and carried away . 11-12 God was pleased with Amaziah when he was slaughtering Edomites and throwing people off cliffs.. and the Me hunims. 25:16-27 "Uzziah . So God decided to kill Amaziah and cause his army to be defeated by the Israelites. Joash was wounded and then killed in his bed. Zechariah asked God to avenge his death. And God helped him aga inst the Philistines. So God sent the Syrians to kill all the princes and God del ivered the army of Judah into their hand. th e youngest of his sons. As he was dying. In the process." 23:6-7 The priest (Jehoiada) tells the people to kill Athaliah and her followers. And it came to pass. that in process of time.stripping the jewels and other valuables from the dead bodies. wives.

a feast and a good day. and slaughte r. for the fear of the Jews fell u pon them. Esther has another man (Haman) hung. along with their wives and children. along with th eir Jew-hating families. so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill all the "young men with the sword. and to fight our battles. 30:15-17 "With us is the LORD our God to help us. 7:6-10 After hanging Haman at Esther's request." 9:6 "The ten sons of Haman the son of Hammedatha. 36:16-17 Esther With nothing more than suspicion and hearsay. (How are the Jews to figure out who planned to kill them and who didn't? Wer e they supposed to just kill them all and let God sort it out? And why did they need to kill the women and children?) 8:9-11 On the day when all Jew-haters (and their families) were killed by Jews. not even old men that are "stooped for age." 32:8 God sent an angel to kill the Assyrian army. 2 9:22-35 The priests killed the passover and sprinkled the blood around to sanctify a ll the unclean people for the Lord. And all this killing is to take place on a single day. and honour ." 9:10 Esther asks the king to kill all those who planned to kill the Jews and hang . slew th ey. The blood of the dead animals is then sprinkled on the altars. and destruction. and joy.." 8:16-17 "Many of the people of the land became Jews. and 3000 sheep for God." He has compassion for no one. 200 lambs. 100 rams. the enemy of the Jews. the king orders a preemptive strike on all 127 province s from Egypt to Ethiopia. 8:1-7 At Esther's request.Hezekiah's priests kill 70 bullocks. Esther has two men hanged (aft er a brief inquisition). the king gave Esther (and her buddy Mordecai) Haman's ring and house...) 32:21 God vows to "bring evil upon this place ." God's favorite way of making converts: Convert or be killed! 8:17 The Jews kill everyone who ever had a bad thought toward them. and s hall not be quenched. and gladness." 9:5 "In Shushan the palace the Jews slew and destroyed five hundred men. even all the curses that are wri tten in the book." 34:24-25 God gets angry with his people. Everyone who planned to kill Jews shall be killed by J ews. 9:1-16 "The Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword.000 sleeping soldiers who woke the next morning to discover th at they were dead. 600 oxen. (According to 2 Kings 19:35 the angel killed 185.. "th e Jews had light." In his tender mercy and loving kindness he has t hem all slaughtered. 2:21-23 Without a trial." He says his "wrath shall be poured out upon this place. and did what they would unto those that hated them.

God allows Satan to torment Job..it's hard to tell them apart) sends a wind that kills Job's sons and daughters. Her young ones suck up blood.." 9:16 Job To start off God and Satan's gruesome game. 1:18-19 God and Satan play a little game with Job. 9:12-14 "The Jews . and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown. slew three hundred men at Shushan. Job's slaves and animals are bur ned to death or killed with swords. destroys the perfect along with the wic ked. just to see how he will react. he poureth out my gall up on the ground. and hides the truth from judges." 6:4 "Thou scarest me with dreams. 22-24 Speaking of God. 2:12 God has smitten his "enemies upon the cheek bone" and has "broken the teeth of the ungodly. Job says: "He teareth me in his wrath...." 2:8-9 Kiss the Son or God will get angry and might have to kill you. laughs at the trial of the innocent. 1:13-19 God (or Satan -. taken me by my neck. Perha ps." God is pleased with the way that predators kill and devour their prey... Job curses the day he was born.. the terrors of God do set them selves in array against me. 9:17." 16:9 "God hath ... 38:39-41 "The eagle ." 9:15 "The other Jews . 5:5-6 . 39:27 -30 Psalms If you ask God. 2:3-7 "So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD. slew of their foes seventy and five thousand.. and doth not spare. he'll force heathens to be your slaves and help you "dash th em in pieces." 2:7 Because of God's cruel wager with Satan. 11 "The arrows of the Almighty are within me ." 3:7 Christians often say that one should love the sinner but hate the sin. and terrifiest me through visions" 7:14 God multiplies wounds without cause. and shaken me to pieces. 3:2 -3." 16:11-12 "He cleaveth my reins asunder. Then Job's children are killed in a windstor m while partying. who hateth me: he gn asheth upon me with his teeth.. seeketh the prey." 16:13 "Wilt thou hunt the prey for the lion?" God seems pleased to have created prey for lions and ravens to eat..the already dead bodies of Haman's ten sons on trees. but God hates sinners and plans to destroy them.

21:9-10 God will shoot his adversaries in the back with his arrows. 59:5 God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. 18:34 God helps believers kill and enslave their enemies." 58:6-7 "Let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman. 58:8 "The righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by God. l et them be cut in pieces. bows. he will kill your enemies for you. O God.. in their mouth ." 69:23-28 . and let them go down quick into hell." A prayer that your enemies will die like an aborted fetus.. 23 The psalmist prays that his enemies be tormented and blinded by God.more sweet prayers to a savage god. 11:6 The God of peace teaches us how to kill our neighbors in war. he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righte ous" will laugh at you." 68:21. 59:13 Joab returned. 37:13 If you forget God." -. 60:1 God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can wash thei r feet "in the blood of thine enemies..8 God laughs at those that he will later torment. He'll even get a chance to wash his feet in their blood.) and plans to use them. 18:40-43 If you make God angry. 7:11-13 If you pray to God. 50:22 If you don't trust in God. the psalmist says: "Let death seize upon them. 21:12 A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies: Let their way be dark a nd slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them. God will tear you into pieces." 55:15 The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth. etc. consume them." 35:6. he'll burn you and your children to death. He asks God to "make their loins continually to shake. 52:5-7 Referring to his enemies. and the tongue of thy dogs in the same.God has prepared deadly weapons (swords.. Let destruction co me upon him at unawares. that t hey may not see the sun. Now that's enterta inment! 58:10 The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy. 9:3-6 God will rain fire and brimstone on "wicked" folks.. and smote of Edom in the valley of salt twelve thousand. 59:10 "Consume them in thy wrath. 59:8 "The God of mercy" will let the psalmist see his enemies tormented.

" He asks God to take away his possessions." But not be fore 24."They that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee. These happy ("blessed" in the ESV) children smashers are God's instruments f or carrying out his vengeance. " Set thou a wicked man over him. and burneth up his enemies round about." 136:15 God "smote great kings: for his mercy endureth for ever." But "then stood up Phinehas. nations. and let Satan stand at his right hand ." 109:10 God will "fill the places with dead bodies" of heathens.000 (1 Corinthians 10:8 says 23." 136:17-18 God will send people to smash little Babylonian children against stones to p unish the Babylonians for enslaving the Israelites during the Babylonian captivi ty." 78:21-22 "The wrath of God came upon them" and God killed many of the Israelites for not believing in "his wondrous works. which bec ame as dung for the earth. " 136:10 God "overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea: for his mercy endureth f or ever." See Exodus 12:29-30 for the gory details." 97:3 "I will . and executed judgment [by throwing a spear through a newly married couple]: and so the plague was stayed. and beg.. kill him.. etc. burning. Let h is prayer become sin." 101:8 God gives the lions their meat. 104:21 The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstb orn in their land. and little babies. earth-s wallowing.. 10 "To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever. 89:31-3 2 "A fire goeth before him. 137:8-9 . 135:8. he will beat you with a rod. 105:29-36 God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: drowning. The cruelty and brutality of nature are all part of God's plan.. 106:11-19 God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daught ers of Moab. and h ave his children suffer for the sins of their fathers.000) had died.. (See Numbers 25:6-9 for a ll the gory details.." 83:9-18 If you don't follow God's commandments. and his wife a widow. 109:6-14 "Let his children be fatherless." 109:9 "Let his children be continually vagabonds. 110:6 God is praised for slaughtering kings." 78:31-34 The psalmist asks God to " do unto them as unto the Midianites . and burn ed people "because they believed not in God. destroy all the wicked of the land.) 106:29-30 The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies." 73:27 "The LORD heard this" (he had his hearing aid on) and became angry..

18:6 Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. They'll thank you in heaven for b eating the hell out of them." A wis e king will crush those that he considers "wicked. Don't worry about hurting them. You may b reak a few bones and cause some brain damage. 30:17 . A nd even if they do die. and ignore you when you ask him for help." 20:30 "The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous." 16:14 Fools are meant to be beaten. 26:3 Beating your children will make them wise. 1:26 -28 "A rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding. fools should be beaten. 29:15 Beat your servants (slaves). He hates people with a "perfect hatred" and a sks God to kill them. And if you seek him. but it isn't going to kill them. you will not find him. 13:24 God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them." 149:5-8 Proverbs God will laugh at your misfortunes." 21:18 Beating your children will make them less foolish. the ravens will pick out you r eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. they'll be better off. and bringeth the wheel over them. 29:19 If you mock your father or disobey your mother. 19:18 Scorners (skeptics?) should be condemned. Have you beaten your chil d today? 22:15 Beat your children hard and often. that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the ston es. 10:13 "Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed." Beat the people who don't understand with a rod."Happy shall he be." 13:13 Beating your children with a rod is a sure sign of parental love. 140:10 The God of Peace teaches us to kill each other in war. mock you when you are afraid. 23:13-14 Whip horses and strike the backs of foolish people with rods. 144:1 The saints praise God while they kill and enslave "the heathen." 137:9 The psalmist excels at hating. 19:29 "A wise king scattereth the wicked. 139:19-22 A prayer that God will burn people to death. 16:4 "The wrath of a king is as messengers of death. as though they were your children." 20:26 "The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

.. burning everyone and e very living thing alive (except maybe a few men). he set up "a cloud and smoke by day" and a "flaming fire by night." 33:12 "Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings?" 33:14 God is furious at everyone and is ready to kill them all." 14:21 After God destroys Moab." 9:19-20 God will "smite the earth with the rod of his mouth. bread. and . 9:17 God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the fles h of his own arm." 5:24-25 If you associate or gird yourself." and subject them to a "cruel lord. 8:9 God will have no mercy on the widows and children of hypocrites." 1:28 "The LORD of hosts. Their carcasses will be "torn in the midst of the streets. doth take away from Jerusalem and from Judah ." smash your children "to p ieces" before your eyes. and avenge me of mine enemies. 15:9 The God of Peace will set brother against brother and kingdom against kingdo m. wrath. he will "thrust you through." 3:1 "Thy men shall fall by the sword. Thos e who die will have their faces consumed by flames." 13:3-5 On God's day he will kill sinners with great anger.." God must have some pretty bad breath! 11:4 Some day God will have his "mighty ones . Then he'll make the survivors seed the counsel of "wizards. and the mou .. 13:6-9 If God can find you. and they that forsake the LORD shall be consumed. and rape your wife. be burned in the fire."The wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood. 24:1-6 "And the people shall . Or as Isaiah so de licately puts it: "Their stink shall come up out of their carcasses. He will have no mercy. but will eve n kill your little children." 3:24-25 After God "washed away the filth" from the women and killed the men." 1:20 I will ease me of mine adversaries. and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked." 4:4-5 God will kill those who despise his word and fail to follow his laws.. destroy the whole land. 13:15-18 God will slaughter children "for the iniquity of their fathers.. God will break you in pieces.. ye shall be devoured with the sword." 19:2-4 The Apocalypse of Isaiah: God will destroy the earth. water." 30:33 Isaiah "If ye refuse and rebel. the rivers will be red with blood. He will send lio ns to eat any survivors. and cruelty.." 1:24 "The destruction of the transgressors and of the sinners shall be together.

Go up against this land. I make the rivers a wilderness: their fish stinketh." After he tires of roaring and crying he'll "destroy and dev our.. 42:13 God makes Egypt. (See verse 38 where Se nnacherib is killed by his own sons while praying.ntains shall be melted with their blood.. and destroy it... departed.. He says that he l ikes Israel better than any other country so he's willing to sacrifice other cou ntries for the Israel's sake. 43:3-4 No astrologer. it shall come down ." 37:36 God will "go forth as a mighty man" who cries and roars.. and they that dwell therein shall die in like manner. and their blood ." (God plans to destroy the universe. that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword.. and dieth for thirst. and a great slaughter. Ethiopia. 47:13-14 "The Lord .000 men. and his arm shall be on the C haldeans.." What a guy." 48:14 "I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh.. "And when they [those killed by the angel ?] arose early in the morning." God brags about the strangest things. or prognosticator will be able to save those that God plans to burn to death.. beca use there is no water.." 34:2-3 "My sword shall be bathed in heaven .. and the land thereof shall become burning pitch. and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land." 34:7 "For it is the day of the LORD's vengeance." 34:8 "The streams thereof shall be turned into pitch..." 34:5 "The sword of the LORD is filled with blood." (God's clothes will get stained with the blood of humans. (See verse 7. stargazer." God will cause Sennacherib to be killed by the sword. and . and he shall hear a rumour. upon the peop le of my curse. and the dust thereof into b rimstone. they were all dead men. and the earth shall wax old like a garment. 50:2 "The heavens shall vanish away like smoke.) 37:7 "Sennacherib ." 36:10 I will send a blast upon him. the smoke thereof shall go up for e ver: from generation to generation it shall lie waste . will do his pleasure on Babylon.. and they shall be drunken with their own blood. and shall return t o his own land." God made the sons murder their father. as he was worshipping in the house of Nis roch his god. and Seba pay for Israel's sins. will stain all my r aiment.." 34:9 "It shall not be quenched night nor day. trample them in my fury. for ever and ever. and "will cry like a travailing woman.) 63:2-6 .." 34 :10 "The LORD said unto me." 34:6 "Their land shall be soaked with blood..) 51:6 "I will ." 49:26 "I dry up the sea. behold.) 37:37-38 An angel of God kills 185. it is made fat with fatness . as with sweet wine.

He will kill everyone: husbands and wives. and ye shall all bow down to the slaughter. and thy cities shall be laid waste . Not even the trees will b e spared from his wrath. 5:3 God will send lions.. people are gone. All "by his (God's) fierce anger. and be merry. 6:22-23 God will pour out his anger on both man and beast. drink. children and old people. 65:13-15 "Ye are they that forsake the LORD . Birds have fled. that is.. thirsty." 4:7 Lament and howl: for the fierce anger of the LORD is not turned back from us . look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed aga inst me: for their worm shall not die. family. 4:4 "I will bring evil from the north." 65:11-12 God will "plead with all flesh" with fire and sword. 7:20 .." 4:6 "The lion is come up from his thicket ." 4:8 What was once fruitful is now barren. Therefore will I number you to the sw ord.. a nd neighbors." 4:25-26 God tries to reform people by tormenting them and then wonders why it doesn' t work. 66:17 "They shall . everyone else will be hungry . 6:21 God will send soldiers from the north that will kill everyone and have no me rcy. 6:12 God plans to kill pretty much everyone: fathers and sons. 5:15-17 God just can't hold in his fury any longer. And the ground itself will burn forever. "and the slain of the L ord shall be many. an d they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh. and a great destruction. wolves... 2:30 "Circumcise the foreskin of your heart" or God will burn you to death."God's servants" will eat. 5:14 God again talks of bringing a foreign nation to destroy his chosen ones and their lands. including their wives . God plans to kill them all after laying a stumbling block before t hem. town s are in ruins.5:6 God will burn the people to death for discovering his non-existence." 66:24 Jeremiah God tries to "correct" people by killing their children. and giving it to others.until God kills them." 66:15-16 Don't worship incorrectly or eat swine flesh (like ham or bacon) or God will have to kill you. and ashamed -. friends. neither shall t heir fire be quenched. 6:11 God will punish the men by taking away their property. without an inhabitant. and leopards to tear people to pieces.

all the men anyway. He's going to kil l everybody and nobody can stop him! 15:1 . "and none shall fray t hem away.. God has decided to kill them all and he doesn't want to be talked out of it." 12:12 If any nation does not listen to God. 10:25 God "will bring evil upon" people from which they will not be able to escape .. 14:15-16 God tells Jeremiah not to bother praying for the people." 12:17 God plans to make everyone in the kingdom drunk and then "dash the fathers a nd the sons together. 9:15-16 God will kill children and young men. 11:22 Jeremiah asks God to drag away his enemies like "sheep for the slaughter. because he "will not hear them in their time of trouble. the days come. 8:3 God will give the people bad food and water." 8:2 People will choose to kill themselves. nor spare. saith the LORD. and the dead bodies "shall fall as dun g . starvation . "They sha ll be for dung upon the face of the earth." The merciful God of peace vows to "not pity. n or have mercy. 11:11 God forbids others from praying for his victims. and disease." 9:21-22 "Behold.God will feed the people to the birds and the beasts. but destroy them. Such prayers would go unans wered anyway. And if they cry out to him for help. he wouldn't. he says." He "hates" his "dea rly beloved" people and plans to feed them to the birds. 14:11 God will ignore the peoples' prayers. and kill them all with war. he will not help them. rather than be killed by their viciou s God." 13:12-14 God tells Jeremiah not to pray for the people. Even if Moses and S amuel (and Jesus?) were to ask him to reconsider. 14:12 God will destroy by famine and sword those who are misled by the prophets." 11:14 God will punish the people by killing their young men in war and starving th eir children to death.. and none shall gather them." I guess that'd include just about everyon e -. 9:25-26 Jeremiah prays for the destruction of people and families that don't call on God's name.well. a s well as the prophets themselves." 12:3 God delivered his people "into the hand of her enemies. 12:7-9 God's sword will "devour" everyone until "no flesh shall have peace." 7:33 God will cover the earth with dead bodies that will not be buried. he "will utterly pluck up and destroy that nation. that I will punish all them which ar e circumcised with the uncircumcised. and then kill them with a sword .

and friends eat each other. make more widows than there are grains of sand. They all "shall die o f grievous deaths." and that shall neither "be lamented" nor buried." 21:6 God will deliver Zedekiah and those that survive the famine. nor have mercy. 21:7 God tells the Judeans to either surrender to the Babylonians and become thei r slaves or die. God will burn you to death unquenchable fire . because they have hardened their necks.God has it all planned out." 19:15 Jeremiah prophesies his rival's death (along with his famly and friends). 16:1-7 God will kill children if their parents worship other gods. and then kill the survivors. some with famine . killing so many that there will not be enough room to bury them all.. 18:21 God will do so much evil to the people that whoever hears of it will have th eir ears tingle. fathers and sons). and "he shall smite them with the edge of the swor d. starvation. 17:27 God admits that he does evil things to people. 22:25-30 God promises to kill everyone by war. 19:3 God will make parents eat their own children. but "shall be as dung upon the face of the earth. 24:10 . 21:9-13 God will have Jeconiah's enemies kill him and his mother and then ensure tha t he die without leaving any sons. I will bring upon this city and upon all her towns all the evil that I have pronounced against it. 20 :4-6 God himself will fight and kill everyone in fury "with an outstretched hand and with a strong arm. 15:7-9 "A fire is kindled in mine anger. "Behold. because he's going t o kill everyone (mothers and daughters. 18:11 Jeremiah asks God to kill the young men in war and the children by starvatio n." 21:5 "I will smite the inhabitants of this city. Why will he do these terrible t hings? Because of something a former king did. and wa r into Nebuchadrezzar's hand." and mercy from the people. that they might not hear my words. terrorize cities. He'll kill some with the sword. neither have pity. which shall burn upon you. Here are some of the hi ghlights: He will kill children. and disease. he shall not spare them. disease. both man and beast: they shall d ie of a great pestilence. 19:11-13 "Thus saith the LORD . I am against thee." No kidding." 15:14 God tells Jeremiah not to get married or have children. 16:10-11 If you don't honor the Sabbath. "lovingkindnes s.. 19 :7-9 God will break those who worship other gods as though they were made of clay . and he'll feed the rest to the dogs and birds." For he has removed peace. 15:2-4 God again threatens Jerusalem with mass destruction.

concerning this city [Jerusalem]. or pestilence. 45:5 "I . 25:6-11 God will force "all the kingdoms of the world" to drink "and be drunken. and shouts. and with the pestilence.. will cover the earth. 28:16-17 God will send his usual blessings upon his people: "the sword. a nd the pestilence. 42:15-18." 29:2122 "Thus saith the LORD . and not for good." 27:8 God kills Hananiah for disagreeing with Jeremiah. and by the pestilence. Even those J ews that flee to Egypt will not be spared." So begins another prono uncement of death and destruction on his chosen people. until I have consumed them by his ha nd. 33:5 To punish the people for refusing to free their slaves. saying he'll feed their dead bodies to the fowls and beasts of the earth.. God over-reacts (jus t a tad) by threatening to send the sword. But many. famine. "they shall be dung up on the ground. God will send the king o f Babylon (Nebuchadrezzar) to destroy Jerusalem and enslave Judah. 22 God's not finished with Judah. He'll bring more evil upon them. the y are so evil. 44:27-29 God says he will bring evil upon all flesh. that cannot be eaten..It shall be deli vered into the hand of the king of Babylon by the sword. No ne "shall escape from the evil" that comes directly from God. he mightily roars. No one is to mourn them or even bury them. 29:19 God will deliver Ahab and Zedekiah into the hands of Nebuchadrezzar "and he shall slay them before your eyes" and Ahab will be "roasted in the fire. an d with the famine. and disease." Th en he'll kill "all the inhabitants of the earth" with a sword.Because the people of Judah were unfaithful to him. I will destroy the city and the inhabitants the reof. includin g Jews. pestilence. 34:17-20 All those who move to Egypt will die by the sword. God will hunt them down and kill them all with war. He "pleads with all flesh" while an whirlwind roars and a noise can be heard everywhere on earth. famine. and famine." 29:17-18 God will kill those who refuse listen to his prophets." 25:37-38 Anyone who disobeys King Nebuchadnezzar will be punished "with the sword." 46:8 .. and by the famine. have moved to Egypt and most seem to have escaped from God's promised ev il.." He "will make them like vile figs. the famine." 25:33-39 God will destroy "the peaceable habitations" and make the land desolate "bec ause of his fierce anger." 32:36 God litters the ground "with the dead bodies of men" that he has killed in h is anger and fury. 25:15-29 God is really getting into all of this killing.. 25:30-32 God will kill so many people that the entire earth will be covered with thei r dead bodies. 44:11-13 "I will watch over them for evil. He roars.

a nd all the inhabitants of the land shall howl. (Some Chri stians believe this prophecy is being fulfulled today in Syrian civil war. yea." 48:10 God will destroy everyone in Moab. He says he'll kill them a ll with a sword. 49:17 God will kill the young men of Damascus and set the city on fire.." 46:14 "Why are thy valiant men swept away? .. 49:37 "Every one that goeth by Babylon shall be astonished. bec ause thou hast striven against the LORD. because the Lord .." 50:15 God says to do the usual thing to the inhabitants of "the land of Merathaim" : kill them all.. Fire will burn their heads..." 50:13 "Put yourselves in array against Babylon round about: all ye that bend the b ow." 50:25 "Destroy her utterly: let nothing of her be left." 50:2 9 Therefore shall her young men fall in the streets. and hiss at all her pl agues.) 49:2 6-27 God plans to "bring evil upon" the people of Elam." 47:2 God plans to kill just about everybody. made many to f all." 50:14 "It is the vengeance of the LORD: take vengeance upon her. spare no arrows: for she hath sinned against the LORD.." 48:8 "Cursed by he that keepeth back his sword from blood. 49:10 God will send such marvelous plagues on Edom that everyone will hiss in asto nishment. "No city shall escape.The day of the Lord will be "a day of vengeance" On that day God's sword wil l become drunk with blood. one fell upon another.." 50:26 "Slay all her bullocks. and all her men of war sh . O Babylon. 46:10 "The sword shall devour round about thee. and "all the men shall cry. and their son s and daughters will be taken captive.." 46:15-16 God plans to drown the Philistines in a flood. and hath brought forth the weapons of his indignation: for this is the work of the Lord. let them go down to the slaughter: woe unto them!" 5 0:27 Call together the archers against Babylon ." 50:24 "The LORD hath opened his armoury. 50:21 "I have laid a snare for thee . let none thereof escape. and thou wast not aware .. 48:42-46 God will cause the daughters of the Ammonites to be burned with fire. 49:2 God will expose Esau's "secret places" and spoil his seed (kill his children ). shoot at her.

" 51:4 "This is the time of the LORD's vengeance. therefore the nations are mad. will personally set the fires that will burn to death t he inhabitants of entire cities." 51:6 "Babylon hath been a golden cup in the LORD's hand. young and old. 3:10-11 God shoots people with his bow and his arrows pierce their kidneys ("reins") . thou hast not pitied." 5 1:7 "Make bright the arrows .." 2:4-8 God mercilessly kills everyone. and to make the Babylonian men "become like women. and virgins. young men. destroy ye u tterly all her host. Persecute and destroy them in anger. that made all the earth drunken: the nations have drunken of her wine. the vengeance o f his temple." 50:30 God." 51:39-40 Lamentations God tramples "as in a winepress" mighty men. and they that are thrust through in her streets.and spare ye not her young men. thy curse unto them." 51:3 "The slain shall fall in the land of the Chaldeans. 51:21 God will get the Babylonians drunk and then kill them all." 3:16 "Thou hast slain.all be cut off in that day. saith the LORD. 3:13 "He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones." 51:11 "The LORD hath both devised and done that which he spake against the inhabit ants of Babylon." (A fate worse than death to a misogynous god." 51:12 God plans to kill all the Babylonian horses. 50:32 "Let the archer bend his bow ..). 2:20-22 God is like a bear or a lion who secretly pursues you and then tears you apa rt." 3:43 "Give them sorrow of heart. it is the vengeance of the LORD. the pyromaniac. He even causes women to eat t heir children." 3:63-64 .. 1:15-16 "The Lord Was an enemy." 51:20 God will "break in pieces" pretty much everyone and everything he can think of. 50:37 God wants us to be his "battle axe and weapons of war" to "break in pieces t he nations" and "destroy kingdoms. he will render unto her a recompe nce. leading them "lik e lambs to the slaughter..

If a good person does something wrong after God "lays a stumbling block befo re him. if he didn't warn t he good guy beforehand. he'll send "evil bea sts" to devour them. 8:18 God screams in Ezekiel's ears. too. and slew in the city. Apparently only men are considered good enough to keep. He'll kill them a ll with war." 9: 6 "Fill the courts with the slain: go ye forth. "He shall die in his sin" and whatever good he has done will be forgotten. 9:1-2 God sends a "man clothed with linen" to mark the foreheads of the men who wi ll be saved. and war . 4:10-11 Ezekiel God's killing rules: If Ezekiel doesn't warn the wicked that God's going to kill them for being w icked. God will kill the wicked people and Ezekiel. "maids". 6:4-5 God makes his presence known by killing people with famine." 7:14-27 God promises again to slaughter everyone. God s ays he'll "fill the courts with the slain" and will have pity on no one. and smite: let not your eye spare. neithe r have ye pity. and women) are to be slaughtered. "Horror shall cover them" and "they shall know that I am the Lord. disease. both maids. after he's done killing. by the famine. too. "they s hall fall by the sword. little children. If any somehow survive. the others (unmarked men. He says that he will ignore them w hen they plead with him for mercy. By so doing h e says that "ye shall know that I am the Lord that smiteth. 5:10 God will slaughter everyone by killing one third with plagues. And they went forth.God punishes the Israelites by starving their children to death. then God will kill the wicked people (if they d on't change their wicked ways). but not Ezekiel. 3:18-20 God will force fathers to eat their sons and the to eat their fathers. 6:7-14 God tells Ezekiel to clap his hands and stamp his feet while saying. neither will I have pity. and starvation. telling him to round up the six angels ("men" ) that are going to do God's dirty work." then God will kill him." 9:5 "Slay utterly old and young. and one third with wars." 6:11 God will pour out his fury on everyone. with pity toward none. he "will be comforted. disease. Finally. and by the pestilence. 4:4-9 God "accomplishes his fury" by making women eat their children. one third wit h famines." 7:3-11 God's is mad at everyone and no one will escape his wrath." 9:7 "Mine eye shall not spare. 9:4-11 "Go ye after him through the city. and little children. and women. And Ezekiel will be killed. If Ezekiel warns the wicked." 5 :11-17 God will decorate the land with the bones and dead bodies of those who worsh ip a different god." 9:10 .

died. 12:18-20 God again vows to destroy those that dare worship something or someone other than him. 14:13-21 God will burn the inhabitants of Jerusalem to show everyone that he is the L ord. thy blood shall be in the midst of the . 18:10-13 God will kill you for making a single mistake. it shall die. etc. 18:24-26 God will set a fire in the southern kingdom that will devour everything and burn everyone. 21:8-32 "Thou shalt be for fuel to the fire. when the people see him doing that. when I prophesied. but he ll leave a few men standing to declare their abominations among the hea then. killing. eating on mountains. they will know that Go d is going to starve them to death. loaning money with inter est. looking at idols. or committing abomination (Lev 18:22 type or otherwise) then that son must be killed. 16:17 After exposing her nakedness. 14:9 When really bad things happen (like you or your children get eaten by wild b easts." He "polluted" them so that he "might make them desolate" a nd force them to kill and sacrifice their children "that they might know" that h e is the Lord. just and unjust." 18:4 A son who misbehaves by robbing. That way. That way they'll kn ow that God is the Lord. defiling his neighbor's wife. then you'll know that it was God that did it to you. 15:6-7 For being such a whore. 12:15-16. get killed in war. all your good deeds he will i gnore. 11:8-12 "And it came to pass." 20:4748 God gave the Israelites "statutes that were not good and judgments whereby t hey should not live.Ezekiel tells the 25 men that God is going to kill them. "And all flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled it. And he won't spare children just because there are a few righteous people around. 14:6-8 God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies . famine. 20 God has Ezekiel do another clever demonstration: eat and drink carefully whi le shaking. oppressing the poor. which will teach them that God is the Lord. get sick and die. 21:3-5 God is sharpening a sword for the slaughter of his people. God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy" and strip her naked once more. 20:25-26 God will kill everyone -. that Pelatiah . Then he'll have her stoned "with stones and thru st through with swords. God punished Jerusalem by starving the Israelites an d handing them over to the Philistines." 16:38-41 "The soul that sinneth..)..good and bad." 11:13 God will kill nearly everyone in one way or another (sword. pestilen ce).

her children were taken from her. 18-19 . And the fate of the surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears w ere cut off. " 25:11 God will send Israelites to slaughter the people of Edom. And just as God told Ezekiel not to mourn his wife's death. 25:13-14 God will "stretch out his hand" to the Philistines (to kill them all). 22 :20-22 God couldn't find anyone to stand up to him. and she was killed by the sword." 21:32 God will gather all of Israel and consume them in the fires of his anger.." 24:3-14 God kills Ezekiel's wife and then tells him not to mourn her." 23:25 "I will deliver thee into the hand of them whom thou hatest ." 26:1-21 Now God has singled out the king of Tyre for his tirades.land . 28:7-10." When he's done with the killing everyone will know that he is t he Lord.. 22:30-31 Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts and bruising "the teats of their virginity. saying "kind le the fire. He plans to kill everyone. one sister's naked ness was discovered. so he's going to destroy everyo ne. saith the Lord GOD. 23:1-49 "These discovered her nakedness: they took her sons and her daughters. and spice it well. and thy remnant shall fall by the sword: they shall take thy sons and thy daughters. 24:21-24 God will kill everyone that claps his hands or stamps his feet "against the land of Israel. God for bids the parents to mourn the death of their children. for I the LORD have spoken it. Her scum shall be in the fire. And they sha ll deal with thee hatefully." 23:47 God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh." 23:34 "The company shall stone them with stones. and let the bones be burned.." 23:28-29 "Thou shalt .. and they shall know that I am the LORD. she is stoned to death. 25:6-7 "I will execute judgments upon Moab. they shall slay their sons and their daughters. she was made to "pluck off" her own breasts." 23:10 "They shall take away thy nose and thine ears. and then after being r aped and mutilated. 24:16-18 God killed Ezekiel's wife to demonstrate his intention to kill the Israelite s' children. consume the flesh. "And her daughters which are in the field shall be slain by the sword." As a punishment. and burn up their houses wit h fire. and they shall know that I am the LORD. 25:16 -17 God says he will destroy Tyrus.. and thy residue shall be devoured by the fire. but he is especia lly looking forward to killing all of the women. and dispatch them with their swor ds. pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it.. and s lew her with the sword.

will be killed with the sword." 38:1 6 God will cause each man's sword to be against his brother." Then he will make "the rivers dry. 30:16 "Thou shalt lie in the midst of the uncircumcised with them that be slain by the sword. beasts. saith the Lord GOD. So the usual watchman rules apply to him. 32:13 Pharaoh and all his multitude. then God wi ll kill the people and the watchman. a most unpleasant death..Watch out or God will make you "die the deaths of the uncircumcised. in the latter days." make "the land waste. B ut if the watchman doesn't blow the trumpet when he sees God coming. 32:3-6 God will vex the hearts of many people." then God will kill the people but not the watchman. he will send dise ase and make it rain fire and brimstone. and cause floods. along with the uncircumcised. 35:2-15 "Thou shalt come up against my people of Israel ." 28:22-23 God tells Ezekiel to prophesy against the pharaoh and against all Egypt.. and kill all their young men with t he sword. kill animals. brandish his sword. destroy entire nations. and the pestilence. That way they'll know for sure that he is the Lord. This is Pharaoh and all his multitude. it's the watchman's duty to warn them about it by blowing a trumpet. Every bird and be ast in the world will feed upon him. 33:12-13 God plans some more killing by the sword. 32:20-32 When God is getting ready to kill people with the sword. God will forget every good thi ng that that person has ever done." light fires. 33:7-9 If a "righteous" person does something wrong. 32:9-15 God takes a break from killing people while he kills all the animals in Egyp t. no doubt." which is." ( The Divine Pyromaniac) 30:8. O Gog. 28:10 God says that Zidon will know that he is the Lord when he sends "pestilence and blood into her streets. If the people hear the trumpet but don't "take warning. God says he will feed the Egyptians to the birds and beasts. 30:14.. 30:4-26 "And they shall know that I am the LORD. and I will bring thee against my land. 33:2-6 God tells Ezekiel that he is the watchman. that the heathen may know me . He says that by doing this he'll magnif y and sanctify himself and let everyone know that he is the Lord. 38:21-23 . when I have set a fire in Egypt. In this way people will come to know him (just before he kills them?)." 31:18 God will treat Pharaoh like a whale fished out of the sea. 29:2-9 God will punish Egypt and her allies by sending Nebuchadrezzar to "fill the land with the slain. 33:2729 God tells Ezekiel about his plans for the Edomites (Seir).. He's going to kil l them all." sell the land to "the wicked. Then God will kill him for the single mistake .

" 2:2-3 Because of the Israelites' disobedience. 39:17-28 "They have even defiled my holy name by their abominations that they have co mmitted: wherefore I have consumed them in mine anger..e.." 6:24 Hosea "I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel. 39:4-7 After the Israelites spend seven years burying Gog's soldiers. 44:10-15 How to kill animals for God 45:15-25 More important instructions from God on how to kill and sacrifice animals to him. the land mourns. Belshazzar rewarded him by making him the "third ruler in the kindgdom.. 28 God sets a fire on Magog and feeds Gog and all of his people to the birds an d beasts. He did all this to let them know that he is the Lord. brake all their bones in pieces." 43:8 God's instructions for ritualistic animal sacrifices 43:18-25 Don't bring any strangers or people with uncircumcised hearts or flesh to Go d's sanctuary when your offering him fat and blood. He asks them to tell their mother to "put away her whoredoms" and "her adulteries from between her breasts" or he'll "strip her naked .God will have birds and beasts eat human flesh and drink human blood until t hey are full and drunken. God (somehow) feed their bodies to the birds and beasts and gets t hem drunk on their blood. peace. and burnt offerings 46:11-15 How to boil your sin and trespass offerings and bake your meat offerings." 1:6 God (or Hosea?) tells his children that their mother is a whore who is not h is wife..." 5:10 . (Did G od kill him?) 5:29-30 King Darius. God will kill you). 17-20. after trying to feed Daniel to the lions. and slay her with thirst. "And the lions . 44:7-9 Stay away from idols or you'll bear your iniquity (i. 39:4. But be sure to offer God lots of fat and blood and burnt offerings. 46:2-7 How to prepare your daily meat. orders those who accu sed Daniel (and their wives and children) to be cast into the lion den." Later that night Belshazzar died. and all the animal s are dying. 4:3 "Ephraim shall be desolate in the day of rebuke. 46 :20 The holy court dimensions 46:22 Daniel After Daniel gave Belshazzar the bad news." 5:9 "The princes of Judah were like them that remove the bound: therefore I will pour out my wrath upon them like water.

and Judah..." 6:5 "I will spread my net upon them. Rabbah. and him that holdeth the sceptre . their princes shall fall by the s word for the rage of their tongue. cut off the inhabitant from the plain of Aven . 2:8 "Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruninghooks into spears.." 3:10 "Egypt shall be a desolation.. 12." 9:14 "I will slay even the beloved fruit of their womb. but not to the most High ... 10: 14 "The sword shall abide on his cities .God will tear up Ephraim like a lion so that "in their affliction they will seek me." 8:14 God will induce miscarriages and kill the children of Ephraim. and devour them. 9:11-12 "O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts..13:7-8 "I will be thy plagues ." 13:16 Joel "A fire devoureth before them ." 9:16 God will punish Israel by "dashing" together mothers and their children." 13:14 Because the Samaritans chose to worship another deity." On "the day of the Lord"." 11:6 God will rip humans apart and then eat them like a lion. everything and everyone will be burned to death.. Gaza. I will be thy destruction: repentance shall be hi d from mine eyes." 1:5 "I will cut off the inhabitant from Ashdod. nothing shall escape. 5 "I will . and Edom shall be a desolate wilderness. God will dash their i nfants to pieces and their "women with child shall be ripped up." 2:6 People will try to commit suicide but will not be able to.. 7. 10. I will bring them down as the fowls of the heaven. 14. 1:4. Tyrus." 3:19 Amos The divine pyromaniac threatens to "send fire unto" Hazael.." 7:12 "Woe unto them! for they have fled from me: destruction unto them!" 7:13 "They return." 7:16 "I will send a fire upon his cities.. 2 :3 "The people shall be much pained: all faces shall gather blackness." 5:14 "I hewed them by the prophets. and the people of Syria shall go into captivity. Tem an. Moab. I have slain them by the words of my mouth. 2:2..

) drought. and he'll die in a pagan country. and the end thereof as a bitter day. slaughtered them with the sw ord. and I will make it as the mourning of an only son. The city that went out by a thousand shall lea ve an hundred." Destroyed the m like they were from Sodom and Gomorrah. his children will be k illed. not for good.) 6:11 Next God sends a fire that consumes both land and sea. and that which went forth by an hundred shall leave ten." Any that try to escape by diving to the bottom of the sea will be bitten." 8:14 God will "cut them in the head" and "slay the last of them with the sword. God will set his "eyes upon them for evil. 8:3 "I will turn your feasts into mourning. and I will turn mine hand against Ekron: and the remnant of the Philistines shall perish. and never rise up again. 7:9-11 Amos tells Amaziah that his wife will become a whore. 7:17 "The songs of the temple shall be howlings in that day." (God will destroy people's houses. you'll know God's been there. O Israel." 8:3 God will kill so many people that dead bodies will lay everywhere. 7:4 God will kill the house of Jeroboam with the sword. saith the Lord GOD. and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins. and baldness upon every head. 5:16-17 God says. saith the Lord GOD: there shall be many dead bodies in every place. that they shall die. and "made the stink of their camps come up into their noses. and he will smite the great house with breaches." 4:12 "For thus saith the Lord GOD.." 6:9 "The LORD commandeth. "If there remain ten men in one house. and mildew." 8:10 "In that day shall the fair virgins and young men faint for thirst.from Ashkelon. Prepare to meet thy God." 1:8 God will "slay all the princes" of Moab. lest he break out like fire in the house of Joseph.. at God 's command. 2:9 God's creative ways of kiilling people and breaking things.." 5:3 "Seek the LORD. and all your songs into lamentation. And yet they still didn't return to hi m." 8:13 They shall fall. and t he little house with clefts. and ye shall live. by a sea-serpent.2:3 God destroyed the Amorites who were a race of giants as tall as cedars and a s strong as oaks. bl asting." 5:6 When there is wailing and mourning. 9:5 . 3:12-15 God afflicted the Israelites with "cleanness of teeth" (famine. He killed them with pestilence. What is wrong with people? 4:6-11 "Therefore thus will I do unto thee . and devour it." 9:1-4 God will melt the land with his touch and then drown it in a flood.

I am against thee. 1:8-10 "Behold. 3:10 . and "execute vengeance in anger and fury upo n the heathen such as they have not heard. saith the LORD of hosts. 9:8-10 Obadiah The Israelites hear "a rumor from the Lord" telling them to start a war with the Edomites." 5:10 God will "cut off" the witches and soothsayers.God will destroy the "the sinful kingdom" and "all the sinners" among his pe ople. shall lick dust and be forced to crawl like worms from fear of God and his people. and a great number of carcasses. 5:11-12 God will destroy entire cities. To punish them he will ignore them when they call on him." 2:13 "There is a multitude of slain. 1. flaying off skin. chopping bodies in pieces. 7:16-17 Nahum God doesn't just get even." 5:6 Like a young lion "the remnant of Jacob" will tear the Gentiles to pieces. m aking human stew. Those who survive he wi ll "give up to the sword. hungry. and all thine enemies shall be cut off." 6:13-16 The Gentiles will be made deaf. and there i s none end of their corpses. 3:3 God punished Nineveh by enslaving the people and smashing the little childre n in the streets. 5 :8 "Thine hand shall be lifted up upon thine adversaries. and I will burn her cha riots. 1:6 God accuses the Israelite leaders of plucking off skin." 5:9 "I will cut off thy horses." 5:14-15 God will make his people sick." 8-9 God will burn all the heathen to death." Now that's a lot of dead people. flesh from bones. 4:13 "They shall waste the land of Assyria with the sword. "for the LORD hath spoken it. 8 God tells Israelites to "destroy the wise men out of Edom" and to slaughter "everyone of the mount of Esau. breaking bones." 16-18 Micah God will destroy Samaria with stones. they stumble upon their corpses. 3:14 God will strengthen the Israelites so they can "beat in pieces many peoples" and give the booty to God. and desolate. ea ting human flesh. He drowns or burns to death his enemies.

" 3:8 Haggai God will make the horses and their riders be killed by "the sword of his bro ther. 2:4-13 God destroyed entire cities." 10:5 "He shall pass through the sea with affliction. Before him went the pestilenc e." 2:22 Zechariah "For I set all men every one against his neighbor." 3:15 Habakkuk "O LORD. ." 8:10 God will cast out Tyrus and devour it with fire. thou hast established them for correction.God says that "the fire shall devour thee. and Nineveh. Ashkelon. killing all the inhabitants. had horns coming out of his hand. and. Canaan. Ekron.they shall dr ink. and burning coals went forth at his feet. 1:2-3 God will "cut off" all those who "have not sought the Lord" or who worship a nother god. the sword shall cut thee off. O mighty God. the sea coast. and make a noise as through wine. it shall eat thee up like the cankerworm.. and shall smite the waves in the sea. Moab." 1:12 "God . Assyrians. the Philistine s." 3:12-14 Zephaniah God plans to kill every living thing. which tread down their enemies in the mire of the streets in the battle: and they shall fight." He wi ll pour out their blood like dust and "their flesh as dung." 10:11 God will mercilessly "feed the flock of slaughter" by making every one kill his neighbor.." 1:17-18 Hide from God and hope he doesn't find you... 11:4-7 "Let the rest eat every one the flesh of another." 9:15 "They shall be as mighty men... 11:17 . 9:4 "The LORD of hosts shall defend them. 3:6 "All of the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy. the children of Ammon. 2:1-3 God's hit list: Gaza. 1:4-6 God will "bring distress upon men" so that they "walk like blind men. thou hast ordained them for judgment." He will be mutilated and blinded." 3:3-5 Habakkuk praises God for slaughtering "the heathen. because the LORD is with them. and all the deeps of the river shall dry up. Ethiopians. and they shall devour ." 11:9 "Woe to the idle shepherd.

14:16 God will "smite the heathen" with a plague. and every hor se . He is insulted when blind.. 14:13 God sends his plagues on animals too. and cast into the fi re. " 8:21 ." 7:19 "The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darknes s: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 4:1-3 The Old Testament ends fittingly with these words: "lest I come and smite th e earth with a curse. 14:15 Whoever survives all these plagues and slaughters must worship God. 14:1-2 God will smite the people with plagues that will cause their flesh. 14:12 God will make everyone fight and kill his neighbor. and they sha ll devour all the people round about. The women will be "ravi shed" and half its people enslaved. 14:18 Malachi God continues to demand animal sacrifices." 12:6 "I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem. an d tongues to rot away.." 4:6 Matthew Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire . And not just any animals will do. 12 Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets.. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old Testament. lame." 8:12 Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the dead. This advice is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lu st at any women commits adultery." 3:10. or sick animals are killed for him. eyes.. with blindness. 5:17 Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our ey es. 5:29-30 Jesus says that most people will go to hell..God will open his eyes and smite "every rider with madness .." 12:9 Someday prophets will be killed by their own parents by "thrusting him throu gh when he prophesieth." 13:3 God will make "all nations" fight against Jerusalem. 1:7-14 God will burn "the wicked" and the "righteous" will walk around on their ash es." 12:4 "I [God] make the governors of Judah like an hearth of fire . 7:13-14 Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down.

Dt 21:18-21) So. let him die the dea th." 10:34-36 Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment o f hell because they didn't care for his preaching. and cause them to be put to death.Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children acco rding to the commandment: "He that curseth father or mother." 10:28 Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hat e each other. One gue st didn't have on his wedding garment. which my heavenly Father hath not planted. " 15:13 Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hand s and plucking out their eyes." 18:8-9 In the parable of the unforgiving servant." (See Ex 21:15. the king threatens to enslave a m an and his entire family to pay for a debt. Then the owner comes and kills the farmers and rents the vineyard to others. causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters below. It will be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. and whomever the stone falls on will be ground into powder. both bad and good. 21:33-41 "Whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it sh all fall. shall be rooted up. so the king tied him up and "cast him int o the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 50 Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating . and they kill him too. The parable ends with this: "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you. and the father the child: and the children shall rise up agains t their parents. 21:44 In the parable of the marriage feast. 15:4-7 "Every plant." 10:21 Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell. "Brother shall deliver up the b rother to death. but a sword. does Jesus think that children wh o curse their parents should be killed? It sure sounds like it. Whe n he sends servants to collect the rent. He says it's better to be "maimed" than to suffer "everlasting fire. to come to the wedding feast." If you are cruel to ot hers. 10:14-15 Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophe cies" in the Bible that has actually come true). which was common at t he time. the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find." Whoever falls on "this stone" (Jesus) wi ll be broken. Lev 20:9. seems not to have bothered Jesus very much. 11:20-24 Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall ca st them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. and delivered him to the tormentors. He has "come not to send peace." 18:34 God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. 8:32 Cities that neither "receive" the disciples nor "hear" their words will be d estroyed by God. it will grind him to powder." 22:1 -14 . God will be cruel to you. 18:23-35 "And his lord was wroth. This practice. And you know what God supposedly did to those poor folks (see Gen 19:24)." 1 3:41-42. So he se nt his son to collect the rent. the tenants beat or kill them.

"For unto every one that hath shall be given .The end of the world will be signaled by wars. but the servant with one talent only had th e talent his master entrusted to him. causing them to jump off a cliff and be d rowned in the sea. if you make through all that. When the people hear about it. The master rewarded the servants that inve sted his money (without his permission -. He gave five talents (a talent was a unit of money. be hated and killed by unbelievers (9)." 25:30 Jesus judges the nations. two to another. and one to a third. 25:31-46 Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. It'll be just like that when he returns. and all these things will happen within the lifespan of Jesus' contempor aries (34). When he returned. iniquity will cold (12)." Then the cruel and unjust master cast the servant who care fully protected his master's talent into the "outer darkness: [where] there shal l be weeping and gnashing of teeth. they beg Jesus to leave.) 24:3-51 Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the floo d. you'll be disease. " And "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. many false Christs and false prophets will sho w great signs and wonders (24). the great and powerful son of Man will come in all his glory (30). (Se e Mark 13:32. Only one more thing will happen before the end comes: the gospel will be pre ached throughout the world (14). believers will hate r (10). 4:11-12 Jesus sends devils into 2000 pigs. akes (6-7). famines. w orth about 20 years of a worker's wages) to one servant." 24:50-51 The parable of the cruel and unjust master The kingdom of heaven is like a rich man who distributed his wealth to his s ervants while he traveled. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire. Oh. the servant with five talents had made five more. 25:46 Mark Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go to hell. 24:37 God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder." 25:14-30 The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "out er darkness" where there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth. Or maybe not. the sun and moon will be darkened and the stars will fall (29)." 25:41 Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. And that's just "the beginning of sorrows" (8).. 5:1213 . the servant with two made two more. But hey. and earthqu Next believers will and betray each othe abound and love wax saved (13). the sign of the son of Man will appear in the sky. everyone on e arth will mourn.what would have happened if the stock market went down during their master's travels?) and took the talent from the si ngle-talent servant and gave it to the one with ten talents. but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. Jesus was talking about things he knew nothing about (36). Well. false prophets will fool people (11). finally. and then. that and the abomination of desolations w ill stand in the holy place (15).

becau se as Abraham explains." 13:23-30 In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus. and cast into the fi re. 14:22-24 Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved. is now in heaven. 12:5 Jesus says that God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many st ripes. the tenants beat or kill them. Th is messy. while tho se who don't will be damned. and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not fa vorably impress the local residents. since she is "stricken with years. causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the sea. 6:11 Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as requ ired by Old Testament law. and they kill him too. 10:10-15 Jesus says that we should fear God since he has the power to kill us and the n torture us forever in hell. Then the owner comes and kills the farmers and gives the vineyard to others." Gabriel makes him "dumb" just for asking. the vast majority will suffer eternally in hell where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. "even thus . only a few will be saved. This seems f air to Jesus. who was miserable on earth. So he se nt his son to collect the rent. Whereas Lazarus. 9:43-49 God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. (See Ex 21:15. Lev 20:9. 5 According to Jesus. the rich man goes to hell. and pluck out our eyes to avoi d going to hell. and Jesus was asked to leave. 17:26-27 Jesus also believes the story about Sodom's destruction. ye shall all likewise perish. 1:20 Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down. 8:27-37 Jesus says that entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitant s "thrust down to hell" for not "receiving" his disciples." 3:9 John the Baptist says that Christ will burn the damned "with fire unquenchab le. Dt 21:18-21) 7:9-10 Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet. cruel. He says.Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. 16:19-31 Jesus believed the story of Noah's ark. He thought it really happened and ha d no problem with the idea of God drowning everything and everybody. 12:1-9 Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. Whe n he sends servants to collect the rent." 12:46-47 "Except ye repent. he had a good life on earth and so now he will be tormen ted. 16:16 Luke Zechariah asks the angel Gabriel how his wife Elizabeth could become pregnan t." 13:3." 3:17 Jesus heals a naked man who was possessed by many devils by sending the devi ls into a herd of pigs.

He tells a crippled man. 3:23 Peter and God scare Ananias and his wife to death for not forking over all o f the money that they made when selling their land. where he saws. hacks. Remember Lot's wife. Then God told Moses to make a brass snake to cure them from the bites." As an example to parents everywhere and to save the world (from himself). 5:1-10 Peter has a dream in which God show him "wild beasts. lest a worse thing come unto thee. that he gave his His only begotten Son." 10:10-13 Peter describes the vision that he had in the last chapter (10:10-13). after healing him.. 22:19-20 John Jesus believed the stupid and vicious story from Numbers 21. Peter: kill and eat. Satan's?) tells him to "Arise. 17:29-32 In the parable of the talents." (They are called Protestants nowadays. and fowls drop down from the sky in a big sheet ." 5:14 Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. 15: 6 Jesus says we must eat his flesh and drink his blood if we want to have eter nal life. "Rise.shall it be in the day the son of man is revealed ." But David was an ything but merciful. 36 The "wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. to "sin no more. creeping things. This idea was just too gross for "many of his disciples" and "walked n o more with him.) 6:53-66 Acts Peter claims that Dt 18:18-19 refers to Jesus. 3:18." Thi s tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and history." 12:23 David was "a man after [God's] own heart." The voice (God's?) says. and his sense of justi ce. and burns to death the inhabitants of several cities." 19:22-27 Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood." 13:22 The author of Acts talks about the "sure mercies of David. For an example of his behavior see 2 Sam 12:31 and 1 Chr 20 :3. Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly his." 11:510 The "angel of the Lord" killed Herod by having him "eaten of worms" because "he gave not God the glory. and slay them before me. . The parable ends with the words: "bring them [those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither.. Go d had his own son tortured and killed. Peter. and a voice (God's. saying that those who refuse to follow him (all non-Christians) must be killed. a nd fowls.) 3:14 "God so loved the world. and reaps what he didn't sow. slay and eat. (God sent snake s to bite the people for complaining about the lack of food and water. 3:36 Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. 3:16 People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe. All k inds of beasts. and creeping things.

"let him be accu rsed. or actions can affect the final outcome. 10:9 If you murmur. None of our though ts. 1:4-5. 1:19-20 1 Thessalonians .. 1:7 The bloody death of Jesus smelled good to God. 11 God had his son murdered to keep himself from hurting others for things they didn't do. and disobedient children." 1:8-9 Ephesians We are predestined by God to go to either heaven or hell. then he saves them by killing an innocent victim. we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son". words. you'll be destroyed by the destroyer (God). 10:10 2 Corinthians The terror of the Lord 5:11 Galatians If anyone dares to disagree with Paul on religious matters. 5:2 Those who refuse to obey will face the wrath of God. then God is trul y a monster. you'll will die from snak e bites.. boas ters. 5:10 1 Corinthians If you defile the temple of God. 1:31-32 The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocen t victim. 3:17 Paul claims that God killed 23.along with gossips. God will destroy you. 5:9 God punishes everyone for someone else's sin..000 in a plague for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab 10:8 If you tempt Christ (How could you tempt Christ?). 5:6 Colossians God bought us with someone else's blood. 1:14 God makes peace through blood. 5:12 "If .13:34 Paul and the Holy Ghost conspire together to make Elymas (the sorcerer) blin d. 13:8-11 Romans Homosexuals (those "without natural affection") and their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are "worthy of death" .

. and is nigh unto cursing.. 1:10 Christians shouldn't mourn the death of their fellow believers..) 11:31 "Time would fail me to tell of Gideon. The people you should mourn are dead nonb elievers. 6:8 "Melchisedec . saith the Lord." 1:7-9 Jesus will "consume" the wicked "with the spirit of his mouth." The heroes of faith: Gideon. and of Samson. mass murder in "the wrath to come" and only Jesus c an save you from it. and of J ephthah. offered up Isaac . his only begotten son. I will recompense. whose end is to be burned." Apostates will burn in hell with the other non-believers. 11:28 God saved Rahab because she believed. and of the prophets. and of Barak.. 10:27 Those who disobeyed the Old Testament law were killed without mercy. which shal l devour the adversaries. They'll be O K and you'll see them later in heaven. It will be much worse for those who displease Jesus. (He killed all the non-believers in Je richo." 10:30 "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.. 11:32 "Others were tortured . and Samuel. and Samuel." (And this was a go od thing? How fucked up is that?) 11:17 The Israelites kept the passover and sprinkled blood on doorposts so that Go d wouldn't kill their firstborn children (like he did the Egyptians in Exodus 12 :29)." God will soon destroy non-believers in a fiery hell. met Abraham returning from the slaughter of the kings." 11: 35 . (Genesis 14:17-18) 7:1 God will not forgive anyone unless something is killed for him in a bloody m anner.God is planning a messy.. They have no hope (because they're going to hell). 10:28-29 "Vengeance belongeth unto me. Samson. 2:1 1-12 Hebrews "That which beareth thorns and briers is rejected. and blessed him. It would b e hard to find a more monstrous group than these guys." God showed his approval of "the slaughter of the kings" with Melchisedec's b lessing of Abraham." 2:8 God will cause us to believe lies so that he can damn our souls to hell.. David. 9:13-22 "A certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation. 4:13 2 Thessalonians Jesus will take "vengeance on them that know not God" by burning them foreve r "in flaming fire.. Jephthah. of David also." 10:31 "Abraham . that they might obtain a better resurrection.

3:10 1 John Christians are washed in the blood of Jesus.. he'll burn up the whole earth and everything on it."1:2 "The precious blood of Christ ." 12:20 "Ye are come ." God planned to kill Jesus from the get-go. according to Peter.") 2:16 "I [Jesus] will kill her children with death. 1:19-20 God drowned everyone on earth except for Noah and his family.or else Jesus will fight you with the sword that sticks out of his mouth. 3:6 "Turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes" 2:6 God will set the entire earth on fire so that he can burn non-believers to d eath. 2:21 1 Peter We are all.... predestined to be saved or damned.God ordered animals to be "stoned. 3:7 When Jesus returns. to the blood of sprinkling." 5 God sent "eternal fire" on the people of Sodom and Gomorrah for "going after strange flesh. with his own blood. 3:20 2 Peter God drowned everyone else on earth except for Noah and his family." 1:18 Repent -. or thrust through with a dart" if they "s o much as ." 7-8 Revelation Jesus "washed us .." 12:22-24 James James says Abraham was justified by works (for being willing to kill his son for God). 2:5. 1:7 Jesus has "the keys of hell and death. that speaketh better things tha t that of Abel. It was all determined by "the sprinkling of the blood of Je sus Christ.. We have n o say in the matter. was foreordained before the foundation of the world." 1:5 Everyone on earth will wail because of Jesus. Paul (Romans 4:2-3) says he was justified by faith (for believing tha t God would order him to do such an evil act)... 1:7 Jude "The Lord destroyed them that believed not." 2:23 . (Like the limbless knight in Monty Python's "Holy Grail. touch the mountain.

and scorpion's tails. for thou wast slain." God created parasites. till we have sealed the servants of your God on their foreheads." Thi s verse is one that Christians like to use to show God's loving concern for the environment.. mountains. lion's tee th.. nor the trees." 6:4 God tells Death and Hell to kill one quarter of the earth's population with the sword." 8:11 The angels are instructed not to "hurt the grass [how could they? He already had all the grass killed in 8:7] . pathogens. 9:15-19 Anyone that messes with God's two olive trees and two candlesticks (God's wi tnesses) will be burned to death by fire that comes out of their mouths. starts. 4:11 "Thou art worthy ." 5:9 God gives someone on a white horse a bow and sends him out to conquer people . neither the sea.. They sting people and hurt them for five months. because they were made bitter. 7:3 144. 8:7-13 "Many men died of the waters. and "with the beasts of the earth. turn rivers into blood." they are killed in a war with a beast from a bottomless pit. starvation. sea cr eature. They can shut up heaven so that it cann ot rain." 11:6 After God's witnesses "have finished their testimony. 6:2 God gave power to someone on a red horse "to take from the earth . with an army of 200 million. killed a third of the earth's popu lation. and predators for his very own pleasure. O ne of his favorite species is guinea worms. and water. 11:3-5 God's witnesses have special powers.. Those tormented will want to die.000 Jews will be going to heaven. 9:7-1 0 Four angels. bu t God won't let them. 9:4-6 God makes some horse-like locusts with human heads. sun. moon. everyone else is going to hell. 7:14 God sends his angels to destroy a third part of all the trees. and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood." 6:8 The martyrs just can't wait until everyone else is slaughtered. 7:4 Those that survive the great tribulation will get to wash their clothes in t he blood of the lamb."Thou hast created all things.. grass. and for thy pleasure they are and were create d. 11:7 . but rather t orment them with scorpions for five months. but only those men which have not the seal of God on their foreheads. that th ey should kill one another. God gives th em a white robe and tells them to wait until he's done with his killing spree. But the previous verse (7:2) makes it clear that it was their God-g iven job to "hurt the earth and the sea" just as soon as they finished their for ehead marking job. and smite the earth with plagues "as often as t hey will." God tells his angels not to kill them. women's hair.. 6 :10-11 God tells his murderous angels to "hurt not the earth.

those nasty people wouldn't repent! 16:11 Christians will fight in the war between Jesus and those allied with the bea st." After another three and half days God brings his witnesses back to life and they ascend into heaven. 11:8-12 When the witnesses ascend into heaven." 16:4 God gave the saints and prophets blood to drink... 16:1 "There fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of t he beast. 7 The seven vials of wrath: 1) sores... and the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever." 18:8 .." 14:19-20 Seven angels with seven plagues are filled with the wrath of God. he kills all the people with his sickle. 17:14 "They shall eat her flesh and burn her with fire. P eople will "rejoice over them and make merry. 5) people gnaw their tongues in pain. 13:8 Those who receive the mark of the beast will "drink of the wine of the wrath of God . and shall be tormented with fire and brimstone . This wa s the second woe.. 7) thunder. and shall send gifts to one anothe r. 3) rivers turned to blood.. and they became blood. 6 ) Euphrates dries up. 2) sea turned to blood." 11:13-14 "The Lamb slain from the foundation of the world" God planned to kill Jesus before he created the world." 16:2 "The second angel poured out his vial upon the sea.." 16:9 "The fifth angel poured out his vial . was trodden . and it became as the blo od of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea. even unto the horses bridles." 16:10 Even after being burned alive. and they gnawed their tongues for p ain. 14:14-18 "The great winepress of the wrath of God . 16:6 Another angel tells God how righteous he is because he gives saints blood to drink.The bodies of God's witnesses will lie unburied for three and a half days. and the blood c am out of the winepress." 16:3 "The third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters . 16:7 "Power was given unto him [the fourth angel] to scorch men with fire.. 15:1." 16:8 Those who were being burned to death by God didn't repent "to give him glory . When the angel tells him to reap." (Are they going to eat he r first and then burn her?) 17:16-17 To punish her God will send plagues and famine. earthquake. "The third woe cometh quickly. and hail. and "she will be utterly bur ned with fire. an earthquake kills 7000 men. lightning.." 14:10-11 Jesus sits on a white cloud with a sharp sickle in his hand. 4) people scorched with fire.

death. Jesus leads the faithful in he aven into holy war on earth. many crowns on his head. and the kings "who have committed fornication with her" will be sad to see her burn. as well as those who are fearful or unbelieving. And the devil will be torme nted "day and night for ever and ever. both small and great. 19:14-15 "Come ." 19:20-21 God will send fire from heaven to devour people." 20:9-10 Whoever isn't found listed in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire. "And all the fowls were filled with their flesh. unto the supper of the great God. 20:15 All liars.God will send plagues. and famine on Babylon. (I bet you thought it was Jesus!) 19:13 With eyes aflame.. "both free and bond. and a secret name." An angel calls all the fowls to feast upon the flesh of dead horses and human bodies.. The rest were killed with the sword of Jesus." 19:17-18 The beast and the false prophet are cast alive into a lake of fire." 21:8 . 19:11 Jesus' clothes are dipped in blood and his secret name ("that no man knew") is "The Word of God". clothes dripping with blood. a sw ord sticking out of his mouth. 18:8-9 Jesus makes war. will be cast int o "the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.