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Roles people play

And what do you do?
Everyone plays a number of roles in their relationships with others. The essence of personality, according to Raimundo, is the sum of the roles I play.

Dr. John Kenworthy 4/1/2010 www.developingleadershipstyle.com.sg

"And what do you do?"
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Roles we play can be Constructive, Fragmenting or Ambivalent. C t ti l l ti l x t ti x i l t l ti i . I t ll t i k l tt .W ll t l l ( l ti t ) x l i ft l i l t ft ) i l l li l ti l . l t l t ? t i ( l ti i , t ti l x it li k t f

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www.developingleadershipstyle.com.sg

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Dr. John Kenworthy © 2010 Rights reserved

www.developingleadershipstyle.com.sg

So first, we e amine the role we are playing and how we are doing it. Is the role I am playing constructive Is it fragmenting Is it ambivalent Then we can e amine the counter role being played by the other person in the relationship. Thirdly, we can e amine what we need to change to move the relationship forward. Do I change the role that I am playing Do I change how I am doing that role Do I change bo th onsider the following roles and counter roles and what could change to improve the relationship: earful Leader Procrastinating anager Patroni ing colleague Loving Disciplinarian Gentle larifier Pushy Salesperson Demanding Boss Resentful Staff Stressed out Team member Boastful friend Guilty Liar Impatient Interrupter Doubtful Prospect earful hild

rom this table you can see that some roles we play are constructive, both the role and the how are positive e.g. Gentle larifier . thers are fragmenting, both the role and the how are negative e.g. Guilty Liar . And some are ambivalent, either the role or the how are negative e.g. Patroni ing ve olleague +ve . It is often the ambivalent roles that destroy relationships. nce we clarify perceptions and remember that your perception is your reality just as their perception is their reality! , the roles and counter roles can be unravelled and resolved. Each and every day, we play a number of roles. If we want our relationships to develop, then it is in our interests to develop the appropriate and constructive roles that enable those relationships to grow.

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