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cUk;gpuha;> aho;g;ghzk;

nghw;nfhb NerJiu
mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j

epidT kyu;
In Memory of

Potkody Nesadurai
April 7, 1930 April 3, 2016
A Social & Spiritual Volunteer

Manikka Vinayagar Hindu Kovil


Bambalapitiya

The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon, nor burned by fire,
nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind." - Bhagwat Gita

Njhw;wk;: 07.04.1930
kiwT: 03.04.2016

mkuu; jpUkjp. nghw;nfhb NerJiu


mtu;fspd; rptgjg;NgW Fwpj;j
kd;kjtUl gq;Fdp khj mkugl;r Vfhjrp jpjp

jpjp ntz;gh
Mz;L kd;kj;jpy; Nja; gpiwahkd;W
gq;Fdp ,Ugj;njhd;wpy; Vfhjrp ew;jpjpapy;
ngUtho;T tho;e;J te;j ngUkhl;b nghw;nfhb
,t;Tyif tpl;L rptdbapy; Kj;jp Ngwile;jhu; ,dpJ
[ 1 ]

A glimpse at the pictorial memories of


Potkody Nesadurai

[ 2 ]

[ 3 ]

[ 4 ]

gps;isahu; tzf;fk;
gpbajd; cUcik
nfhskpF fupaJ
tbnfhU jdjb
topgLk; mtuplu;
fbfz gjptu
mUspdd; kpFnfhil
tbtpdu; gapy;typ
tyKiw ,iwNa

jpUehTf;fuR Rthkpfs; - ehd;fhk; jpUKiw


nrhw;Wiz Ntjpad; Nrhjp thdtd;
nghw;Wizj; jpUe;jb nghUe;jf; if njhof;
fw;Wizg; g+l;bNahu; flypw; gha;r;rpDk;
ew;Wiz ahtJ ekr;rp thaNt

Re;ju%u;j;jp Rthkpfs; - Vohk; jpUkiw


kw;Wg; gw;nwdf; fpd;wp epd;jpUg;
ghj Nkkdk; ghtpj;Njd;
ngw;w Yk; gpwe;j Njd;, dpg;gpw
thj jd;ikte; nja;jpNdd;
fw;w tu;njho Njj;JQ; rPu;fiw
a+upw; ghz;bf; nfhLKb
ew;w th! cid ehd;k wf;fpDQ;
nrhy;Yk; eh ekr;rpthaNt

jpUQhdrk;ke;ju; NfhsW gjpfk;


Nta;cW Njhspgq;fd; tplk;cd;l fz;ld;
kpfey;y tPiz jltp
khrW jpq;fs; fq;if Kb Nky; mzpe;J
vd; tsNk GFe;j mjdhy;
QhapW jpq;fs; nrt;tha; Gjd; tpahod; nts;sp
rdpghk;G ,lk; clNd
MrW ey;y ey;y mitey;y ey;y
mbahu mtu;f;F kpfNt
[ 5 ]

mk;ghs; topghL
jdk; jUk; fy;tp jUk; xU ehSk; jsu;T mwpah
kdk; jUk; nja;t tbTk; jUk; neQ;rpy; tQ;Qk; ,y;yh
,dk; jUk; ey;yd vy;yhk; jUk; md;gu; vd;gtu;f;Nf
fdk; jUk; g+q;Foyhs; mgpuhkp filf;fz;fNs
fiyahj fy;tpAk; Fiwahj taJk; Xu;
fgLthuhj el;Gk;
fd;whj tsikAk; Fd;whj ,sikAk;
fOgpzp ,yhj clYk;
rtpahj kdKk; md;G mfyhj kidtpAk;
jtwhj re;jhdKk;
jhohj fPu;j;jpAk; khwhj thu;j;ijAk;
jilfs; thuhj nfhilAk;
njhiyahj epjpaKk; Nfhzhj NfhY nkhU
Jd;gkpy;yhj tho;Tk;
Ja;a epd; ghjj;jpy; md;Gk;> cjtpg; ngupa
njhz;lNuhL $l;L fz;lha;
miyahop mwp JapYk; khahdJ jq;ifNa
Mjpflt+upd; tho;Nt
mo jPru; xUghfk; mfyhj Rfghzp
mUs;thkp mgpuhkpNa
Mj;jhis vq;fs; mgpuhk ty;ypia> mz;lnky;yhk;
g+j;jhis> khJsk; g+epwj;jhis> Gtp mlq;ff;
fhj;jhis mq;Fr; ghrhq;F Rkk; fUk;Gk; mq;if
Nru;j;jhis Kf;fz;zpiaj; njhOthu;f;F xU jPq;fpy;iyNa

jpUthrfk;
nka;jhd; tpUk;gp tpjpu;tpjpu;j; jd;tpdu ahu; fou;nfd
ifjhd; jiyitj;Jf; fz;zPu; jJk;gp ntJk;gpAs;sk;
ngha;jhd; jtpu;j;Jd;idg; Nghw;wp rara Nghw;wpnad;Dk;
ifjhd; nefpotpNld; cilaha; vd;idf; fz;Lnfhs;Ns

[ 6 ]

jpUthrfk;
filat Ndidf; fUizap
dhw;fye; jhz;L nfhz;l
tpilat Ndtpl; bLjpfz;
lha;tpwy; Ntq;ifapd; Njhy;
cilatNd kd;Dk; cj;ju
Nfhrkq; iff; fuNr
rilatNd jsu;j;Njd; vk;gpuhd;
vd;idj; jhq;fpf; nfhs;Ns

jpUtpirg;gh
fw;wtu; tpoq;Fk; fw;gff; fdpiaf;
fiuapyhf; fUizkh fliy
kw;wtu; mwpah khzpf;f kiyia
kjpg;gtu; kdkzp tpsf;ifr;
nrw;wtu; Guq;fs; nrw;w vQ; rptidj;
jpUtPop kpoiytPw; wpUe;j
nfhw;wtd; jd;idf; fz;Lfz;Ls;sk;
Fspu vd; fz;Fspu;e; jdNt

fe;juyq;fhuk;
ehnsd; nrAk; tpid jhndd; nrAnkdd ehbte;j
Nfhnsd; nrAq; nfhLq; $e;nwd; nrAq;Fk NurupU
jhSk; rpyk;Gk; rjq;ifAk; jz;ilAk; rz;KfKk;
NjhSk; flk;Gk; vdf;F Kd;Nd te;J Njhd;wpbNd

fe;jGuhzk;
kz;Zt fj;jpdpw;
gpwtp khrw
vz;zpa nghUnsy;yhk;
vspjpd; Kw;Wwf;
fz;Zjy; cilaNjhu;
fspw;W khKfg;
gz;ztd; kyub
gzpe;J Nghw;Wthk;
[ 7 ]

ngupaGuhzk;
Mjpaha; eLTkhfp mstpyh msT khfpr;
Nrhjpaha; czu;T khfpj; Njhd;wpa nghUSkhfpg;
Ngjpah Vfkhfpg; ngz;Zkha; MZ khfpg;
Nghjpah epw;Fe; jpy;iyg; nghJelk; Nghw;wp Nghw;wp
Ie;JNg uwpTk; fz;fNs nfhs;s
msg;gUk; fuzq;fs; ehd;Fk;
rpe;ijNa Mff; Fzk; xU %d;Wk;
jpUe;Jrhj; JtpfNk Mf
,e;Jtho; rilahd; MLk; Mde;j
vy;iyapy; jdpg;ngUq; $j;jpd;
te;j Ngu; ,d;g nts;sj;Js; jpisj;J
khwpyh kfpo;r;rpapd; kyu;e;jhu;.
fw;gid fle;j Nrhjp fUizNa cUtkhfp
mw;Gjf; NfhyePb mUkiwr; rpuj;jpd; Nkyhk;
rpw;gutpNahf khFk; jpUr;rpw;wk; gyj;Js; epd;W
nghw;Gld; elk;nra; fpd;w g+q;foy; Nghw;wp Nghw;wp

jpUke;jpuk;
Cu; vyhk; $b xypf;f mOjpl;Lk;
Ngupid ePf;fpg; gpznkd;W Ngu; ,l;Lr;
#iuaq; fhl;bilf; nfhz;LNgha; Rl;bl;L
ePupdhy; %o;fp epidg;G xope;jhu;fNs
Mu;j; njO Rw;wKk; ngz;bUk; kf;fSk;
Cu;j; Jiwf; fhNy xoptu; xope;jgpd;
Ntu;j; jiy Nghf;fp tpwfpl;nlup %l;b
ePu;j;jiy %o;jtu; ePjpapNyhNu

Njw;wk;
Kb rhu;e;j kd;dUk; kw;W Ks;NshUk; KbtpnyhU
gpb rhk;guha; nte;J kz;zhdJ fz;L gpd;Dkpe;jg;
gb rhu;e;j tho;it epidg;gjy;yhy; nghd;dpwk; gytu;
mb rhu;e;J ehKa;a Ntz;Lnkd;Nw awpthupiyNa
[ 8 ]

TRIBUTE

From Children & In Laws


Logan Velumailum:

A Tribute speech at the funeral


Good evening friends and family.
My name is Logan and the son in law of Potkody Nesadurai. Thank you everyone for
joining us to celebrate her life.
This has been an emotional time for me personally, as the last 5 years I have lost both
my parents and now my mother in law. I lived with my parents for only 20 years and two
more years after I finished my degree before I got married. I then had the privilege of living with my mother in law for the past 23 years. I owe her for so many things.
My mother in law helped to take care of my son and daughter during their childhood
through discipline, social duties, spirituality, and every way that they would become good
people. In terms of hospitality, I always tell her that she is overdoing it. But she will not
get offended but ignore me and do it even more.
For the past 4 years she has been in a nursing home so that she can be taken care of by
trained professionals and be happy. During her time in the nursing home I may not have
visited as often as I wanted to as I did not want to see her that way. But my wife not only
visits her almost every day, but stays there until she is comfortable and fed and goes to
sleep either before lunch or dinner.
During the last 23 years, she was with us I have yet to see anything wrong that she has
done with what she said or promised. I would say that she gives away anything she has to
her relatives, friends and those less fortunate. I know that on her anniversary day, they feed
a home with deaf and blind children for many years or until my father in law passed way.
All of her children, in-laws and grandchildren played a significant role in her life. At
a time in her life I would call her a world traveller always visiting her children around the
world. She would make many trips to New Jersey to see her youngest son and family and
many trips to London and Scotland visiting her daughters, son, in laws and grandchildren
and many trips to India to visit her eldest son before he passed away. They all loved her
very much and wanted her to visit as much as she could.
My wife says that her mother lost so much confidence when she lost her eldest son.
Otherwise she is a very strong, powerful and proud lady. She is also a very spiritual person,
a Sai devotee, and was very involved in many organizations. During her life she had also
been a warden for a ladies hostel and had many more positions she was proud of.
We will all miss her very much but know she lived a life full of love surrounded by
family.
Thank you all.
Logan Velumailum
[ 9 ]

Nirmala Thirunesan:

Memories to remember
I was a young bride to be, meeting my mother in law for the first time in Colombo. One look at me and she said you look beautiful in person. Well, I guess, I
wasnt very photogenic. Mami made lots of fuss over me and took me to see some
of her friends. She wanted to show off how well I talk in Tamil. She even sent my
letters which I wrote to her in Tamil to Malaysia to her sister.
Mami and Mama spent many summers with my two eldest children and it was
wonderful to see the bond that they have. Nesan and Rajini were always full of
stories when they returned from Colombo and Mami always made sure that they
were very well looked after.
During my visits to India and Sri Lanka, Mami and I travelled to Jaffna, Naina
theevu, Kathirkamam, Delhi, Agra, Chennai and Puttapathi. We both enjoyed our
time together chatting and eating our favourite food. Mami loved combing my hair
so whenever I got the chance I would ask her to comb and plait my hair. These are
few things that I shared with Mami.
From
Nirmala (Daughter-in-law)

Jeganathan Visakan:

Missing you always


You were so much more than mother in law (mum)
you were my friend
you never said I am leaving
you never said good bye
you were gone before I knew it and only SAI knows why?
In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still
in my heart I hold a place that you can only fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, you did not go alone
as part of me went with you the day Sai took you home.
Son in Law Visakan

[ 10 ]

TRIBUTE
From Grandchildren
Angela Rajanathan:

Letter to Ammama
My dearest Ammama,
As your first grandchild, I have known you for 40 years....a lifetime in itself
some would say.
Somehow, despite knowing the day would come when you would leave us - life
feels so suddenly different & filled with an empty void.
Memories come flooding back.....me as a child running after you & Appa
(grandfather) in Columbo desperately trying to be as close as I could to you both.
Whatever you were doing, I wanted to be a part of it! This would inevitably end
up with me getting a telling off from Tommie (Dog)! I remember you bustling
about in the kitchen/house in Lorenz Road with breakfast always ready whenever
we woke & there was always someone at the door visiting. Your pride as you left
smartly dressed each day to the girls college, I can remember.
You were always the person that people would come to see or seek advice
from.....your love, kindness & generosity have always been your gifts.
As I sat with you at your funeral & saw so many people come to show their
respect, pride start to swell in my chest. So many had known your love & seen your
heart in a multitude of ways which imprinted on them forever. The tears, saddened
smiles & words of grief all attested to this wonderful ladys life. Your determination
to embrace life with all its challenges showed your great strength of will & love for
others. An amazing lady. My ammama.
You taught me so much....with the most important being that giving with love is
the greatest gift of all. Your spirituality guided all of us & continues on through us.
Your kindness we continue to show & your selfless love we continue to bestow as
you always did.
Rest in peace Ammama,
Anjela

[ 11 ]

Shamila Rajanathan:

From Australia with Love


Putting into words how I felt about my grandmother is incredibly difficult, as
her second grandchild she was still very young when I was born and there are so
many emotions and memories that rush through me when I think back over my
life. Here is what I wish and hope she knew...
Although I grew up far away from you Ammama, you still had such a powerful impact on me. Growing up in Scotland I recall writing letters to you and being
so excited at receiving a reply all the way from Sri Lanka! I will always remember
how you used to make me appam for breakfast and be so interested in my studies
and travels. You were a constant support during the good times such as coming
to my medical school graduation in Edinburgh and visiting me at the first house I
bought in London. But you were also a pillar of strength during the difficult times
after Dad died. Over the years I have countless memories of you Ammama, some
funny, some bittersweet. You were loved by so many people for your kind heart and
generous spirit. I am so proud to hear all the stories from people you have helped
over the years and to hear of your many accomplishments. It is a testament to the
love you gave that I came from Australia to be there when we laid you to rest, along
with so many of your other grandchildren from all over the world.
I know you will never be forgotten and will be sorely missed by all who knew
you.
Rest in peace Ammama.
Shamila

[ 12 ]

Rajini Nathan:

The experience of East & West


Jyon jyon jyon jyon was a sound Appamma always made as she bathed me
in colombo. what does that mean Appamma? Id ask; it means sugam, sugam
which is to bless me with health. That summarises my Appammas love for me;
in everything she did, she always wished me well, fed me copious amounts of the
most delicious food and made sure that where ever I went I was cared for. Always
looking out for someone else. That was my Appamma.
I would cry and kick up a fuss anytime my parents tried to send us to Colombo
to stay with our grandparents. Appamma and Appappas house always spelled Bhajans, extremely spicy food and the dragon that lived under the dining table, Tommy
the dog, who was always looking for an opportunity to take a bite out of me.
Amidst a culture and country I didnt understand was my Appamma. I was
always Appappas angel and he made sure she knew it. No room in the house, nor
wish of mine was ever denied. I would run riot making up my own kitchenettes
from the two bamboo and wood cabinets in the living room and insisting that
absolutely everything was to my liking.
She never really reprimanded me. Always silently bore my pretentious place
of preference with Appappa and still doted on me at every opportunity. As I lay
on Appappas colonial recliner (Reserved only for Appappa, bar when I wanted to
sit there instead) with the attached leg rest, she would bring me wood-apple fruit
mixed with milk and sugar, a dish that I still relish today, and sneak me carefully
rationed out measures of orange soda, Portello and all other fizzy drinks that I was
otherwise not allowed. A juxtaposition of personalities she was, as generous as she
was discerning, as loving as she was stern, as forgiving as she found fault and as
strong-minded as she was compassionate. In everything that she did there was always a balance and till date, I do not know how she managed to walk that fine line.
Appammas pride for her eldest Sons children was something she never shied
away from sharing. I cannot begin to count the many times Id been summoned
to stand on display as her pride and Joy, her little Tamil speaking, singing, dancing
granddaughter.

[ 13 ]

Shed take me to bhajans, teach me slokams, encourage me to participate in all


the activities at Saraswati hall, and we once even took a trip to Puttapatthi together,
eventful for me because she was so preoccupied with my impending attaining of
puberty that she cut the trip short and we returned home to my very amused father.
Thats another thing Id never forget, the way she doted on my father, her eldest
son. He was her golden child and the apple of her eye and he loved it. As a growing teenager, Id sit there shaking my head, with him smiling at me like a child in a
candy shop as she dished out his favourite food dishes and made a fuss over him.
He knew how much she loved him and he loved it.
It is only after becoming a mother myself have I come to realise the impact
that my fathers death must have had on her. It doesnt matter how old your child
is, nothing will ever prepare you to see your child die before you. In hindsight, in
the lead to the funeral, she made such an effort to hide her own grief in order to
accompany that of mine and my families and it takes a person of utmost strength
and character to handle that situation as she did.
That was the start of a slow decline. I went through some extremely intense
situations with Appamma, more than what a typical grandmother and granddaughter would and the emotions certainly took a toll on us both. Years later I rekindled
my relationship with her and am so happy that she got to meet my husband and
share her own story of how she met Appappa with him in her own words. Despite
my daughter Azaaryah, her first great-grand daughter travelling to Canada a few
times, she was not able to enjoy her presence as I would have hoped.
Then finally, Appamma gave me the greatest challenge of all. Passing away five
days before my much anticipated Bharathanatyam Arangetram forced me to reach
heights of inner strength and determination that even I did not know I possessed.
As always, she challenged me to better myself, gave me opportunity to grow and
got the best seats in the house to watch with Appappa and my father.
I now know in all that I do, she will propel me to perform my best, and she will
be cheering for me every step of the way.
From Her Grand daughter,
Rajini Nathan.

[ 14 ]

Nesan Thirunesan:

Memories of my dearest Appamma


I will never forget the day I received a message that our Appamma was gravely
ill and had been admitted in hospital. In learning this sudden news about our Appamma, my mind was now embroiled with immense grief. I was constantly recollecting the fond memories in the company of my Appamma and Appappa growing
up as a little boy and teenager in Chennai and whilst staying with them in Colombo
whilst on school vacation.
In receiving this very sad news about our Appamma, I recall visiting our local
temple on 2nd April 2016 which was a Saturday and praying to Lord Shiva. I prayed
that Lord Shiva would ease my Appammas pain. The very next day just after 1pm I
received the news that our Appamma had passed away.
The earliest memories I have of our Appamma was when I visited Colombo
with family on holiday in 1984. I remember our late Appappa receiving my family
at the airport. On arriving at their residence in Colombo, I recall my Appamma
rushing out of the house, opening the van door as I was seated on my Appappas
lap and grabbing me in her arms giving me lots of kisses, hugs and cradling me
around her waist. Such was her love and adoration for me as her eldest grandson as
with all her grandchildren.
I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity to study in India from 1988
to 1996. This also enabled me to frequently visit Colombo and spend my holiday
breaks with my Appamma and Appappa. Our Appamma went to great lengths to
ensure I had the best she could offer and afford. She would specially cook prawns
for me as she knew I loved this dish of hers and make Bombay toast for breakfast too.
As a child I recall Appamma taking me to the Saraswathi Womens Hostel down
Lorenz Road where she worked as a part-time Warden. She was very strict with the
residents at this hostel but at the same time treated the young lady student residents
like her own daughters. The entire local community in Bambalapitya had great
respect and regard for my Appamma. This made me immensely proud of her too.
During my holidays I recall our Appamma waking up early in the morning
playing the Suprapaatham, making coffee for everyone and putting it in a Thermos
flask. She would then be seated in the living room at the dining table making garlands out of jasmine flowers for the local Ganapathy Temple around the corner.
Our Appamma would always emphasise the importance of having a good
education and as I grew older approaching my teens she would enrol me with a
local tuition teacher for Maths and other subjects. Whenever she came to stay with
us at our house in Nandanam, Chennai I would be woken up by her at 5 am and
would be requested to wash my face and come downstairs to spend 1 hour studying
before getting ready for school.
Contd. on next page ...
[ 15 ]

As my late father would often travel abroad, my Appamma and Appappa would
visit me in Chennai, stay at our house and look after me. They both acted as my
mother and father in every regard. Appamma and Appappa loved and cared for
me dearly and took care of my every need. Appamma would accompany me to
school to drop me and pick me up in the evening, also attending parents/teachers
evenings, school events and functions. This is something that I being their eldest
grandson, am very fortunate to have had and experienced, thanks to my parents for
sending me to India for my studies. These are the memories I will cherish for the
rest of my life.
Whenever she visited the UK from Canada, she would give me $100 US dollars
or sometimes pounds, and being a little embarrassed, even if I resisted taking the
money, she would insist, folding the notes and placing it in my hands tightly. Appamma would do the same for her other grandchildren too. Such was her love and
adoration for all of us.
Appamma had great adoration for her son Rajee, my late father, and referred
to him as Thamby. She was heartbroken when he passed away in her presence in
Colombo in January 2005. Appamma was never the same again which also partly
explains the rapid deterioration in her health, leading to her fall and admission in a
nursing home.
I was fortunate to have visited Appamma at her nursing home in the summer
of 2014. On my second visit to see her I recall she was fast asleep in her room
when I visited to say my goodbyes. I remember stroking her hair gently, touching
her feet and seeking her blessings.
Now she has joined my father and Appappa. They will be watching their children, grandchildren and extended relatives from heaven now. I know she is at peace
and she is happy.
I will remember my Appamma as being a very independent, driven, well-spoken, smartly dressed, caring and loving grandmother to all of us.

A poem for Appamma;


Appamma, your life was full of loving deeds,
forever thoughtful of all our special needs
Today and tomorrow, my whole life forward,
I will forever love and cherish you
I will miss you always my dearest Appamma and hope you are with me and my
family, keeping a watch over me and all your loved ones.
Your ever loving grandson,
Nesan

[ 16 ]

Morning & Evening Prayers

The morning and evening prayers were given by Sathya Sai Baba in his
discourse on 27 July 1961. He said,
Adopt these as your daily prayers. The best thing is to have your own
Self as the source of Light, as the guru. The Inner Intelligence, the Inner
Guru will reveal the Truth. This prayerful attitude will so educate your impulses that the Inner Intelligence will be fully revealed
Morning Prayer
Know that waking from sleep is but birth and going into sleep is death.
On waking, pray every morning of your life,
Oh Lord, I am born now from the womb of sleep.
I am determined to carry out all tasks this day as offerings to Thee, with
Thee ever present before my minds eye.
Make my words, thoughts, and deeds sacred and pure.
Let me not inflict pain on anyone; let no one inflict pain on me.
Direct me, guide me, this day.
Evening Prayer
And when you enter the portals of sleep at night, pray,
Oh Lord! the tasks of this day, whose burden I placed
on you this morning, are over.
It was You who made me walk and talk and think and act.
I therefore place at Thy Feet all my words, thoughts, and deeds.
My task is done.
Receive me, I am coming back to you.

Love is God
[ 17 ]

Niranjani Thirunesan:

Childhood Experience
I was very unfortunate to not be around Appama when I was growing up.
Though Appa made good effort to tell me about her and made sure I could see her
whenever possible, I did not get to form a stable relationship with her. However,
this did not deter my affection towards her. I heard many good things about her,
one that particularly widen my eyes and imagination was about how she was an
excellent cook! My sister would often describe her food to me and I could not wait
for the day when I could try her food myself. I do owe Appama a huge thank you.
When I was three years-old, I lived with Appa in India for a year. This is my earliest
ever memory of Appama. She woke me up one day and told me she was going to
shave all of my hair off! I had short hair at the time, what she would call a boy
cut, but I couldnt fathom not having hair at all. I cried all the way to the barbers
and cried all the way back. Even though she tried to cheer me up with Indian
sweets and rose milk, nothing worked. I recall her telling me that I would appreciate
it when I grew up, but I never believed her. How wrong was I? Time never allowed
me to convey all the feelings I had within me to her. When she was in the nursing
home, she was not in the right frame of mind for me to take her on a trip down
memory lane. Though I trust that one day we will meet again, I hope she knows
that I regard her as an amazing mother and grandmother. I guess Appa knew that
our relationship was not as stable as he would have liked it to be, but that never
stopped him telling me stories about her. I have kept each letter and birthday card
she sent me and I will keep every memory I have of her close to my heart.
The last words she spoke to me, before her ill-health, are words I will keep with
me forever. It was when I visited her with my family, when she was staying at Jeya
Mamis house. As I was about to leave, I asked for her blessings. She lifted me up
by the shoulders and took my hands and said, You will always have my blessings.
In that moment, I could tell we were both taken back, but the short silence between
us spoke volumes. Thinking about it now, though we couldnt spend too much time
together, all a granddaughter needs from her grandmother is her love and blessings.
I believe Appama made it very clear to me that I have both of those from her, for
as long as I shall live.
I will always love you, Appama.
Until we meet again,
Niranjini

[ 18 ]

Rajeev Sivanesan:

Remembering First Gold Ring


Appama was a wonderful woman, who lived a life loving and caring for all that
surrounded her not just closely but for those like me who lived across the pond.
I have to admit that it has been many years since I last visited appama but the
memories I have of her when I was a child growing up are very much etched within
me.
If I could sum up appama in one word it would be food! I remember the times
when we (Sinduja and I) stayed with Geetha Aunty and family for a holiday and our
room was in the basement right next to Appamas kitchen. Appama was constantly
in the kitchen cooking away as if she was the head chef of a top Sri Lankan restaurant. All I can say is that we (certainly Me!) were fed well at all hours of the day.
Thinking about those times as I write this eulogy these memories are coming back
to the front of my mind, she cooked with a passion!; She loved it! And I know this
because the basement/kitchen (when I used to sneak in) was just smelling of food!
And fried food too because I remember I used to cough a lot from the burning
smell of oil, Come to think of it, it was the same when I used to stay with her on
holiday when she was living in Sri Lanka (Lawrence Road).
I still remember my first gold ring she bought me there, though Ive not seen
that ring in more than 20 years I still remember what it looks like. Again as I type
this message its given me an idea to perhaps pass this ring on to my son, Ethan, in
hope that at least a small legacy of Appama will always remain and be carried on
for the years to come within the Sivanesan family.
Unfortunately Appama never got the chance to meet her first great grandson,
Ethan. Hes only 6 months now but one day Ill be telling him all the stories and
showing all the pictures I have of his great grandmother.
Appama is in a better place now, resting in peace looking down on us with a
smile. God bless her soul.
From your loving grandson,
Rajeev.

[ 19 ]

Sinduja Sivanesan:

My Memories from London, UK


My beloved Appamah: A pint-sized woman, with an enormous heart who
touched everyones soul with her kindness. She understood me before I understood
myself. From as early as I can remember, I would always look forward to her long
stays with us when she visited the UK, not forgetting the goodie bag that she would
always smuggle to me filled me with all my favourite Canadian chocolates. I would
cry for hours on end when it was time for her to return. Having said that, I was not
prepared for the amount of tears I would shed when she left us all so numb and
lost without her presence. My heart aches writing this but all I can do is channel my
thoughts into a happy place. My fondest childhood memories are with my beloved
Grandma. The way I would only fall asleep with my head resting on her lap while
she would softly stroke my hair and call me all her favourite nicknames, counting
them one by one on her baby soft fingers. I still remember holding her hand every
night while I slept and how she would read my palm and tell me how bright my
future would be. I would be able to smell her before I saw her. The sweet lavender fragrance became her trademark and it has become a scent that I use now to
keep her close to me. A lady full of wisdom, pride and love. She has instilled all
these attributes into all of her children and grandchildren and I am truly blessed
to have had the best grandma in the world. Although she was many miles away, I
felt her energy always. I always felt her love. I see her in my father everyday I look
at him from every little feature to even his mannerisms. From the way Appamah
always used to speak in her soft gentle tone, to even the way she would always tip
her glasses down to the edge of her nose just to see us all clearly. I owe my father
my life for giving me everything I could possibly dream for and it was Appamahs
way of nurturing him that made him the successful, kind and loving father he is to
myself and Rajeev Anna and I couldnt be any more prouder of my bloodline.
My beloved Appamah - I feel so blessed to have shared many fond memories
with you, but there are still things Id like to have a chance to say and I wish I could
have had the opportunity to spend more time with you. I wish I could tell you how
much I love you. I wish I could hold your hand again while you lead me down lifes
struggles. My darling grandma with a heart of gold, may you rest in paradise until
we meet again.
Love always, from your kunjumani,
Sinduja.

[ 20 ]

Sai Vinothan & Mathurini Visakan:

With Love & Devotion


Ive always had a soft spot for Ammamma and I am convinced she also felt the
same way about me! Ammamma had her own unique relationships with all of her
grandchildren which is what made her so very special.
When I went to see Ammamma in 2014, at that time due to her condition, she
was unable to recognise her own children. However, when she first saw me, Ammamma would give her biggest smile as a sign of recognition that she knew who I
was. It pains me that Ammamma knew who I was, I also knew I would never hear
her say my name with her soothing voice.
I have many special memories of Ammamma when she came to stay with us
whilst visiting the UK.
When I used to come home for lunch from work, I would always ask Ammamma to join me to eat, but she would always tell me that she had just finished
having her meal (which would usually consist of rice and curry) and that she was
full. I would then proceed to have my quorn and chilli pasta, and I would hear Ammamma slowly approach the kitchen and see her peak through the gap in the door
to see what I was eating. She would then walk into the kitchen and look at my plate
and gently ask whether she too could join just to keep me company. I knew it was
because she had a good appetite for western food!
Another example, is when she would applaud my driving abilities on the narrow
UK roads and that I should be awarded a certificate and when she used to share
her chocolate with me, even if it was only the smaller piece out of two (the larger
one which she would cheekily eat!). We all knew Ammamma had a sweet tooth so
it became the norm. She used to enjoy watching my sister and I sing bhajans with
me playing the tabla, and when my wife joined our family, she loved listening to her
sing Carnatic music, bhajans and Pann Isai.
Thank you Ammamma for always making me laugh and encouraging me with
your blessings. I hope I can continue to be the hard working grandson and skilled
driver that you knew and loved, and I will miss the wonderful memories we have
shared through the years.
May you rest in peace.
Sai Vinothan Visakan
[ 21 ]

With Love & Devotion


The first time I met Ammamma came on the day that Vinothan and I got
engaged, so coming home and meeting her was a real blessing, one which I will
never forget. As Ammamma couldnt attend our wedding, the time we spent with
her in 2011 on that trip are memories I will forever cherish. These include: singing
lots of thevarams, Carnatic pieces and bhajans and listening to Ammamma singing
thevarams in response or putting thalam to the pieces Id sing to her. I will never
forget the look of adoration she had, and how she would glance over to Vinothan
or any other loved one in the room, as if to say Look at her!. She was proud of all
her family, and I never felt like an outsider, in fact I felt like I was a grandchild that
shed always had and not someone that she had met less than half an hour before!
We were fortunate enough to visit Ammamma in 2014, where although she
didnt recognise us, she was still responsive to music and dance and to the smiling
loved ones around her. Her smile and her soft skin reminded me so much of my
own grandmother who had passed away and I felt truly blessed to have had time
with Ammamma on that trip. I remember singing the bhajan Kausalya Nandana
and her liking it so much that I kept singing it to her.
Ammamma, I am so lucky to have gotten the chance to meet you and spend
time with you, I hope all the family can continue to do you proud, and be ever shining beacons of love like you were.
Om Shanthi Shanthi Shanthi
Mathurini Visakan

[ 22 ]

Meera Visakan:

Mrs Pots - My Ammama


Mrs Pots. This was my cheeky pet name for Ammama. I can close my eyes and still hear
her lovingly reply, Kalla Pettai or as she often called after me, Baba or Meera Kanmani
when she had her eyes on the prize: chocolates. Ammama never said no to chocolates. In
fact she would keep her various stashes of sweets and chocolates behind photo frames, in
her cardigan pockets, under her pillow and drawer! Obviously this was her plan to hide this
all from Mum. She not only loved her chocolates but enjoyed food in general. She was not
a fussy eater and would eat both western and eastern dishes. Im pretty sure I get my sweet
tooth and being a food lover from Mrs Pots.
Ammama was the best study buddy I could ever have. When I was studying for my
exams she would stay up late with me and test me so I could remember the answers. She
was always interested in what I was learning and would read my textbooks so she could have
a better understanding. Ammama would tell me that she loved learning in school and often
told me her love for William Shakespeare plays such as, Romeo and Juliet and As you Like
It. She would read a lot of scriptures, spiritual books and always took a copy of the newspaper I brought home for her to read.
Ammama was a beautiful soul inside and out. She definitely liked to take care of her appearances. If she saw me paint my nails or liked the colour nail varnish I had on, she would
say, Baba, if you are not too busy, can you put that colour on for me as well? She was
always worried the red colour was too bright for someone her age. I would always tell her,
Ammama, you do what you want to do, dont worry about other people. If you like the red
colour, then red it is! It sure did look good on her and everyone would tell me what a stylish
Ammama I had.
Ammama loved singing thervarams and bhajans. She would come to bhajans at our local
centre with me and Anna and enjoyed the fact that she was a mini celebrity. Everyone would
tell her that Meera must have got her singing talents from her Ammama. She laughed with a
twinkle in her eye and totally loved the attention. My Appama and Ammama would always
ring each other in the morning and sing thervarams to each other for hours. It was lovely to
hear and feel the joy they both had singing the Lords praises. I would also share these beautiful moments when Ammama would sit with me when I played harmonium and we sang
together. Those were our special moments together that I will always cherish. She would sing
one of her many favourites, Shiva Maheshwara, Antara Jyothi Namo and Sadguru Brahma. I
am so thankful that I was able to sing for her at the funeral one last time to remember all the
good times and how much she meant to me.
Ammama you would always repeatedly ask when I left home for school and later work,
what time will I be returning home with a sad face. I would always reply back and say, Soon
Ammama, soon. Now it seems you have returned home to Swami exactly where you belong. Thank you for being an awesome Ammama. You will always be a part of us and we will
always feel your love and we will share this love with all.
Meera
[ 23 ]

Shiyam Loganathan:

Grandsons tribute at the funeral


Good evening,
I would like to welcome everyone tonight and thank you all for coming to pay
respect and pay tribute for Mrs Potkody Nesadurai and her grieving family.
My name is Shiyam Loganathan and my mother Geetha was Ammamas fifth
and youngest daughter of six children.
A theme I presume will become evident as you hear touching tributes for Ammama throughout the night, and that is of the special relationships she developed
with all those she came in contact with. Im honored and humbled to be one of
those fortunate many to have had that relationship.
Tonight is bittersweet for me and Im sure for many of those closest to her.
I understand that she lived a full and rich life, full of service to her husband,
Mr. Nesadurai and my grandfather, her children, her family and all of the many
close friends she made throughout the years. I also understand she was strong and
independent throughout her life, who as a widow, travelled the globe caring for her
children and grandchildren. I also understand our God has his plan and it was her
time. I am happy she is with my Grandfather and her 1st born, for I am sure they
dearly miss her.
But it hurts nonetheless, my heart pains thinking about not seeing her warm
smile and feeling the loving embrace anymore. She was a guiding light and stalwart
force in my life and if you all would bear with me for a few moments I would like
to share my story with My Ammama.
I remember being not more than 8 years old, and an etched memory that will
never leave my mind was seeing my sobbing mother with my silent father in the
living room of our home in William Honey. My mother had just lost her father, she
hadnt seen him since she left Sri Lanka at age 21 and later I would find out it is one
of her deepest regrets not seeing her ailing father one last time before he left her.
But it is strange how life works, for however much she loved her father, and
I can only tell you for all of you who know us well, and know how much she
cherishes her children, the love my mom has for her father is at least at a minimum
of that level. But as she lost one parent, the story God wrote is poetry in motion.
[ 24 ]

Ammama was now alone and blessed we were, as our family grew from 4 to 5.
Ammama is an integral part of the Loganathan family, she raised both Krishni and
myself as much a mother would. My grandfathers passing brought Ammama back
into my mothers life and gave my mothers children the blessing of a Grandmother
we could touch, a grandmother who taught us, prayed with us, looked after us, fed
us, and of course tattled tale on us.
Ammama when she first arrived, came as advertised, she was strong, independent, as I imagined through ammas stories, short in stature but she carried a big
stick, that is with utmost dignity, and the self belief that her way was THE way. Im
not exaggerating for effect, I think back and smile, why were we so careful to behave around her, she was just a little old grandma, but back then we and I dont just
include Krishni and I, it was Appa and Amma too, we had a healthy fear to disobey
or be kulappadi around her.
In our household, she instilled her values, she was a vegetarian and she had the
whole family not eating meat on Tuesdays and Fridays, she sat with me and Krishni
every single morning before school and taught us prayers and we sang slogas and
meditated before class every morning. How many of those prayers I made on Saturday mornings I prayed to score a goal in my schools hockey tournaments. Ammama brought God into my life. Her peace in her soul, her pride, her dignity, her
self worth, her strength came from her relationship with God, and I have learned
from her that my growth as a man will come from that.
But Ammama was a lot more than that. She also probably was one of those
mean Prison Wardens in a past life, for she was good, real good at catching us.
Not just finding out what we would do, but catching me in the act. Us Nesadurais
have a sweet tooth, every evening after school she would plate out our snacks, few
cookies, chewy granola bar, all that sugary kid snack stuff. Well we were on a quota,
and you wouldnt dare going for seconds. Now this wasnt Colombo and this wasnt
the Lawrence road home with a lock and key on the food cupboards, ammama had
to do some hands on undercover surveillance. Because I tried and tried, but every
time I snuck in for more she would come around the corner and catch me in the
act. She would watch us when Appa and Amma would go out and we tried to sneak
out late, but that would always end up with us getting caught and Ammama would
diplomatically scold us sparingly, while telling Amma how we misbehaved who
would then put the hammer down, so to speak.
Ammama was a great story teller, I know because I heard the stories many
times. She was proud of the fact she was the top student in her class I believe up
to 11th standard, but as fate would put it her mother fell ill and she was forced to
withdraw from school and take care of the family during that time. She told me
how hard that decision was on her, she was very proud of her accomplishments
[ 25 ]

and her academics. She planned to go on to higher education; she planned a lot of
things. But Ammama was stubborn, at that time she couldnt bear of reenrolling
and being a year behind all of her classmates she had done better than for years.
So she took care of the family, got married and started one of the very important
Thamil families in Colombo.
I hope you will hear from people after me about the countless individuals and
families she helped coming through Colombo, whether it be young men applying
for Visas to study abroad or friends of friends, distant relatives passing through,
the home served as more of a welcoming center or hotel for those who needed a
warm meal and place to stay.
She was such a giver, not in the traditional sense, but in the over the top way,
gifting everyone and anyone all of her worldly possessions. For me, the first of
every month she would put 11 or 21 dollars in my hand. She didnt say save it or go
by something with it, but she bestowed the act of giving into me, she would be like
go take your friends out for food, or go buy them something, she took so much
pleasure on bringing happiness to others.
Ive spoken too long, I apologize.
But there is a mother Theresa quote that I want to share and I think fits Ammama well. It goes,
If we pray, we will believe; If we believe, we will love; If we love, we will serve.
I think that the reason such a smart proud woman was able to serve us all, day
in and day out was her love in the good in all of us.
Again I would like to thank everyone for paying their respects tonight, for allowing me to share some of my experiences with my Ammama.
Thank you. God bless you all.
Shiyam

[ 26 ]

Krishni Narine:

Granddaughters tribute at the funeral:


I will miss my dearest Ammama
Hearing the news that my grandmother had passed away was probably one of
the hardest things that I have ever experienced. She was my last grandparent and I
had a close relationship with her as she lived with my family in Canada growing up.
I was blessed to have grown up with her from childhood. She taught us many
things and shared so many wonderful stories from her life. She encouraged us to
always strive for the best and was always proud when we succeeded. She had a
heart of gold, always giving and never expecting anything in return. Even in the
nursing home she would offer us biscuits when we came to visit her. Her smile was
contagious and full of love; she never said a bad word about anyone and loved her
family and friends very much.
She used to pick me and my brother Shiyam up from school and when we were
old enough to walk home by ourselves she would always have our snacks ready for
us when we got home.
I remember coming home from school and going downstairs to watch TV and
she would watch the shows with me asking questions and just enjoying the companionship. There was always something delicious that she had made waiting for
me too. She had a sweet tooth herself so she made the best chippy and casseri. She
really spoiled us with her cooking.
Ammama was very good at routines too, she even helped Shiyam and I get into
a routine before school. Every morning Ammama, Shiyam and I would sit down
together in the living room and say a prayer before we went to school. It didnt
matter if we were late we would always say the prayer before leaving the house.
They say that life is not about the number of breaths you take, but of the moments that take your breath away. She was one of the few people who I know who
had a truly good life. Ammama may have gotten very sick near her end, but in our
eyes, she has never lost the quiet sort of strength she always had even as she grew
old.
A woman of principle and courage, my grandmother was always firm for what
she believed in, and it is from her that we have learned to stay strong. But Ammama
was more than just a strong figure. She was also a woman of contagious smiles and
a soothing voice.
Contd. on next page ...
[ 27 ]

I remember too, how she would hum and sing the lines of a favorite song while
walking around the house or sitting down on her couch and only knew the first 3
lines. Andavarai nan potriduven nan Because of you Ammama I now only know
those 3 lines.
There are so many other things I rememberlike the way she loved sweets so
much she would hide some in her room for a late night snack, and how she loved
to cook and talk to her friends in the park about life and politics as Shiyam and I
would pass by on our bikes.
When I first introduced her to Tash she forgot all about me. She always asked
me when Tas was coming over and how she had made him food. She loved him as
her own grandson and always would go out of her way to make sure we knew she
had a nice time.
And it is during this moment that I realize how in the end, what we remember
best are not really the big things, but all the small yet necessary bits of a persons
life.
While I and my family are deeply grieved by the loss of one of the pillars in our
family, we are also thankful for the chance to have had her. After all, not too many
people have had the privilege of knowing someone as remarkable as her. We may
have lost her physically now but we keep her in our minds and hearts, where her
memory will live on for as long as we do.
Although she is gone from us I know she is at peace finally reuniting with her
husband and eldest son. Our baby would have been spoiled with her love but will
hear all the wonderful stories about their great-grandmother and what an amazing
woman she was.
Ammama, you will be deeply missed but your memory will live on forever.
From your loving granddaughter,
Krishni

[ 28 ]

Prashana Sathiyanesan:

My Grandmother
Trying to write down everything that was special about my grandmother is like
trying to catch the wind. Its impossible to put into words how loving and caring this woman was during her time on earth. I am one of thirteen grandchildren
with whom she had meaningful, individual relationships. She loved each one of us
deeply and without disparity.
Though I did not have as much time with Appama as some of my other relatives did, I can say that she was a very pure and loving person. As everyone knows,
she had a sweet tooth which I believe has been passed on through the family. I can
recall that she used to always offer us chocolates. Whenever I got in trouble with
my parents, she always came to my defense.
Grandma was unbelievably compassionate. Her heart and her generosity knew
no bounds. Her door was always open - literally. She rarely locked it. You could just
walk in and people often did. Neighbors, friends, immediate family and relatives,
cousins 6 times removed all knew they had a place to stay for a few minutes, a few
hours or for a few days, to enjoy her hospitality and her generosity. The door was
always open and the food was always plentiful.
While I am heartbroken at the thought of never having her hugs and kisses, I
am so happy that she is in heaven watching down; protecting us and guiding us by
her example and a life well lived. She was all in all, an absolutely amazing person
who I learned a lot from, and she will be missed.
Loving Granddaughter
Prashana Dharshini Sathiyanesan

[ 29 ]

Trishana Sathiyanesan:

My Appama
I like to celebrate the life of my Appama. She was a lovely, caring and thoughtful person. Appama cooked, babysat and baked, because she loves to entertain
everybody. The stories I loved to hear were when she visited us in New Jersey for
a month or so. Like when she saw Acca and I as little babies or when she used to
rock us to sleep while singing songs. Appama conquered so many things in her life
time I cant even name them all. We may no longer see her but well always have
these special moments we shared with her. She was the most wonderful woman I
knew.
As we come to terms with her loss, which will be strongly felt in the upcoming
events, we may find solace in contemplating that she led a good life, that she left
a positive impression on our family and friends, and that she sowed the seeds of
well-being for your grandchildren and many here today.
We will hold fond memories of her time here with us. We loved you during your
life as we do now and will continue to do so. She will always have a special part in
our hearts. I know we are all grieving today for we all lost a great lady. But I know
wherever she is now shes happy, and contented with what she left us. Lets just be
thankful that we knew a special lady like my grandmother. We will try to keep making you proud grandma. May you rest in peace.
Appama, your Puppynaan
Trishana Dharshana Sathiyanesan

[ 30 ]

From the Youngest on behalf


of all the Children
Sweet Memories & Thanks
Dear friends and family members,
Life seemed so cruel when our Amma, Potkody Nesadurai was taken away from
us. Several of you came to pay your respects and be with us as we bid farewell and
assisted us in numerous ways. It was difficult for us to let go of Amma. It has left a
permanent hole in our hearts.
Amma was special to her children, Grandchildren and Great grand-children
representing four generations. She was also special in many ways to others who
crisscrossed her life. Her love to all, not just her family members, is what made her
stand out. Her unconditional love has won over many. Amma created a whole new
definition for the word giving giving in abundance with no second thoughts or
hesitation. Her service to others has taught us to reach out and help others in need.
While living in Colombo, Amma & Appas wedding anniversaries were spent
having tea and snacks at the school for the Deaf and Blind in Rathmalana. As a
member of the Mahila Vibhag, she volunteered many weekends spending time with
patients at the Cancer Hospital in Maharagama or singing Bhajans at the Welikade
prison for the inmates there. She was instrumental in setting up the Womens Hostel with the help of Eelathu Thiruneri Thamil Mandram next to Saraswathy Hall in
Colombo. Once formed, she put her heart and soul to run the Hostel until a permanent administrator was found. She organized the hostel to assist young Women
who were fleeing the war in the Northeast of Sri Lanka.
Amma was transnational in many ways. She was never afraid to cross cultural
and ethnic barriers to connect with persons who were different. She impressed the
visiting Russian friends of Appa in the mid 60s, lived and worked in London for
some time in the late 70s, retraced her Malaysian roots in Klang in the 80s and
successfully adapted to her new home in Canada in the 90s. During the 2000s,
Amma showed how avid of a traveler she is, visiting USA to Australia and many
points in between.
Contd. on next page ...
[ 31 ]

As old age began to show lifes impermanency, it was so hard to watch Amma
slip away. There is always that sweet, captivating, warm smile we cannot forget. We
miss her so much but we know we can bring her back by closing our eyes for a few
seconds to see that distinctive, beautiful smile.
We thank all those who sent flowers, sent condolences from all parts of the
world, brought food and drinks, attended the viewing and funeral ceremony and
assisted us in many ways. Thank you so much for your support when we really
needed it. We will always be grateful to be surrounded by so many loving family
and friends.
Sincere thanks from Sathiyan, Geetha, Jeya, Kannan & Laloo

Shining Star
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the mornings hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there; I did not die

Love All Serve All

[ 32 ]

A glimpse at the pictorial memories of


Potkody Nesadurai

[ 33 ]

[ 34 ]

[ 35 ]

Drawn by Great Granddaughter Azaaryah

[ 36 ]

cUk;gpuha;> aho;g;ghzk;

nghw;nfhb NerJiu
mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j

epidT kyu;
In Memory of

Potkody Nesadurai
April 7, 1930 April 3, 2016
A Social & Spiritual Volunteer

Manikka Vinayagar Hindu Kovil


Bambalapitiya

The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon, nor burned by fire,
nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind." - Bhagwat Gita

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