You are on page 1of 11

How to Speak

Your Homeschoolers

Love

Language

How to
A free eBook provided bywww.aophomeschooling.com
Alpha Omega Publications
| Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language

Contents

4 Take the Love Language Test


4 Factors That Hinder Loving Expression
5 Words of Affirmation
6 Gift Giving
7 Quality Time
8 Acts of Service
9 Physical Touch
10 In Conclusion

MMXII All rights reserved. Alpha Omega Publications | 804 N. 2nd Ave. E. Rock Rapids, Iowa, 51246 | 877-688-2652

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 2

o your children feel loved? Do they


sense your unconditional affection and support as
they homeschool? Although we may think were
showing love to our children during the day, many times
our homeschoolers dont feel it because we use the wrong
love language.
According to The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary
Chapman and Ross Campbell, children sense love in these
five basic ways:
Words of affirmation
Gift giving
Quality time
Acts of service
Physical touch
Do you know which of these love languages speaks loudest
to your childs heart? If not, you can begin to grasp their love
language preference with a simple test.

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 3

Take the Love Language Test


Determining your childs love language will enable you
to achieve family closeness and provide a solid emotional foundation for
your child while homeschooling. One eye-opening way you can find your
childs love language is to ask your child this question:
If I were gone on a vacation for several weeks, what would you like me to
do for you when I returned home?
Tell you how much I missed you. (words of affirmation)
Bring a gift back for you. (gift giving)
Spend the day playing together. (quality time)
Make your favorite meal for dinner. (acts of service)
Give you a big hug and kiss. (physical touch)
Although your child may say he would like you to do all of these things,
ask him to pick out the one action he thinks is most important. This
will allow you to pinpoint his particular love language and enable
you to communicate your love to him more effectively during your
homeschooling day.

Factors That Hinder


Loving Expression
The challenge for most homeschooling parents is
finding practical ways of meeting a childs specific need for love. Lesson
preparations, daily chores, and outside activities have a way of taxing our
physical and emotional resources, leaving us feeling tired, overwhelmed,
and insensitive to opportunities to express love to our child.
In addition, as children, we may have grown up never seeing
appropriate, heartfelt love displayed. With no loving parenting role
model to draw upon, we may find it difficult to express love in certain
ways which we never received ourselves.
Lets face it. Sometimes a childs selfishness draws on our patience to
the point of making it quite difficult to love.
Regardless of the issues and problems, Gods will for us is to love
(1 John 4:11). Just as Jesus took the time to be intimate and meet
people right where they were in life, parents have been commissioned
with an awesome responsibility and need to make a serious study of
meeting their childs need for love.
So, what are some practical ways you can meet your homeschooled childs
need for love? Depending on your childs particular love language, you
might do the following:

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 4

A word fitly spoken is


like apples of gold in
pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Words of Affirmation

Be specific and mean what you say.


No flattery allowed.
Write encouraging comments like Great job! or You
did it! on daily papers.
Hide I love you! notes in assignments.
Offer sincere compliments when your child demonstrates
positive character qualities, especially with his siblings.
Be polite and use please and thank you liberally.
Praise your child verbally as often as you can for both
his efforts and successes in school.
Pray aloud with your child daily and ask for Gods
blessing on his life.
Speak positively about your child when talking to others
because you never know when little ears may be listening.
What if words arent your thing, and you cant think of
something to say to affirm your child? Make your childs
day and watch his countenance beam with one of these
uplifting statements:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
22.
23.
24.

www.aophomeschooling.com

Wow! Look how much you have improved!


Im so blessed to be your teacher and your mom/dad!
What an awesome job!
I appreciate your help so much.
Im so proud of whom youre becoming.
Its obvious you did your best.
I believe in you.
I enjoyed my time homeschooling with you today.
Lets go out on a special date today.
Youre one of the best things that has happened
to our family.
What a gift you are to me!
Youre so lovable.
Youve got a great head on your shoulders.
It was so nice of you to help me _______ today.
I love your kisses and hugs.
Im so proud to call you my son/daughter.
What a generous heart you have!
That was such a thoughtful thing to do!
What a good memory you have!
If anybody can do it, you can.
Way to go! That was hard, but you did it.
What do you think we should do?
You learn so quickly!

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 5

Gift Giving

A gift doesnt need to be expensive, just thoughtful and age appropriate.


Purchase items like your childs favorite candy bar,
coloring book, or toy from dollar-value stores to use as
daily rewards on schoolwork.
Choose a gift or plan an activity your child has been
wanting and give it as a reward for tackling a difficult
assignment or at the end of a successful school year.
Create a surprise love bucket. Each week, fill the bucket
with educational items like art supplies, an educational
computer game, a new reference book, a microscope, a
new notebook, or other study items.
Make homemade gifts. These gifts may even spark
your childs interest in cooking, carpentry, sewing,
photography, gardening, and other life skills.
Give a monetary gift to a mission or organization on
behalf of your child.

Buy your child a household pet to teach him


responsibility and how to love.
Pay the expense for your child to enroll in class to learn
an extra-curricular activity like sports, music, or art.
Theres nothing wrong with buying gifts, and it wont
make your child materialistic if done appropriately. As it
says in Luke 11:13, If ye then, being evil, know how to
give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall
your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask
him? Like the other love languages, gift giving means
you thought about your child and you care about him.
The gifts importance isnt its monetary value, but the time
you spent looking for just the right thing to put a smile on
your childs face with something that suits him perfectly.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and
cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no
variableness, neither shadow of turning.
James 1:17

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 6

Quality Time

Undivided attention required. No


multi-tasking allowed.
Thou compassest
my path and my
lying down, and
art acquainted
with all my ways.
Psalm 139:3

Cherish learning together. Dont hurry through your


childs school lessons.
Take all the time necessary to work through questions
he doesnt understand.
Plan an individual homeschool field trip covering one
of his favorite subjects.
Skip school and plan a regular date once a month to
do something fun.
Watch a movie, play a board game, or read a book
together.
Play a seasonal sport activity together for physical
education class.
Work together on a hobby he enjoys.
If you homeschool multiple children, giving quality time to
each child may require some creative scheduling. Take into
account if your child is a morning or late night person and
fit yourself into his day instead of the other way around. Get
into his world with individual bedtime routines, one-onone lunch dates, playtimes in his room, shopping outings,
and other activities that involve just the two of you.

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 7

Acts of Service

Be creative. Go beyond your normal parental duties.


Help your child rearrange, paint, or redecorate his room.
Plan an overnight outing, special party, or activity for
your childs homeschool friends.
Wash and wax your childs car.
Volunteer to help in your childs Sunday school class or
youth group at church.
Cook your childs favorite meal or dessert.
Free up some time for your child and do his chores for
a day or week.
Let your child wear or use a personal item of
importance to you.

Acts of service are doing things for other people that you
know they would like, the way they would like it. They
require thoughtful consideration of a childs likes and
dislikes and sensitivity to his thoughts and dreams. The
most powerful example we have as Christian homeschool
parents is Jesus. As He washed the disciples feet during
the Last Supper, He could have said, Really, what about
somebody serving me once. But He didnt. Instead,
He took a towel and humbly showed His love, teaching
us that fulfillment and happiness are found in serving
others, not ourselves.

For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister,
and to give his life a ransom for many. Mark 10:45

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 8

Physical Touch

Warning! This love language is not


for young children only!
Give kisses on the cheek and mega hugs without
measure!
Cuddle in a chair while you share a book.
Give a backrub to your child while hes studying
at the computer or the table.
Give your child a pedicure or manicure.
Watch a movie while sitting next to each other
on the couch.
Hold hands or put your arm around your childs
shoulder when walking together.
Comb or style your childs hair.
Not only is touch vital to the development of
infants and toddlers, researchers are also learning
how important the need for touch is throughout
a childs entire life. Because we live in a fallen
world, however, this love language may be more
difficult for parents to express, especially as a
child reaches junior high or high school years.
Societys sins have so twisted and polluted the
healthy, natural expression of physical touch
between parent and child that many parents
feel hesitant or guilty when expressing this love
language. When you really think about it, what
communicates love more clearly to a child than
the powerful connection of touch?

And Jesus, moved with


compassion, put forth his
hand, and touched him.
Mark 1:41a

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 9

In Conclusion
Dont assume you are
communicating love effectively
simply because you homeschool.
Just as children learn academics
in a variety of ways, they also
feel love from their parents
differently. If you want your
children to remember their
homeschooling days as ones filled
with love, you need to monitor
their hearts through the wisdom
of the Holy Spirit, apply large
amounts of Gods agape love, and
communicate in the love language
they understand best!

www.aophomeschooling.com

How to Speak Your Homeschoolers Love Language 10

How to Speak
Your Homeschoolers

Love

Language

Brought to you by