You are on page 1of 3

According to The Lectic Law Library, Divorce is the dissolution of a

marriage contracted between a man and a woman, by the judgment of a
court of competent jurisdiction, or by an act of the legislature. Divorces are
of two kinds: 1. a vinculo matrimonii, which dissolves and totally severs the
marriage tie; and, 2. a Mensa et thoro, which merely separates the parties.
Separation, the Collins Cobuild English Dictionary says, is when people
who usually live together are not together. All children will tend to suffer
from separation from their parents and siblings. If a couple who are married
or living together has a separation, they decide to live apart. They have
ultimately agreed to a trial separation.
My main theme is Divorce/Separation and how it affects the immediate
Man and Woman involved.
I have chosen this theme because of my first-hand experience with my
parents being separated while I was ten years old. Though not by law, they
have been “separated” for 8 years. As we may all guess, the most apparent
reason for their mutual separation was infidelity.
But I’m not here to discuss reasons for divorce and separation. I
wanted to know what happens to my parents and many other persons like
them, while going through a separation or divorce.
For too long has the focus been on children and how they are
emotionally and psychologically affected by divorce and separation, but what
about the parents? What about the men and women that have to live after
such separation, what happens to their emotions, finances and their psyche?
I believe women go through hard financial times after a divorce or a
long term separation. The strain it puts on them to continue a normal life
after a part of the financial foundation has gone, because of prenuptial
arrangements. Not to say the men are selfish, but it seems to me that if a
“prenup” has to be drafted, the marriage was almost inevitably bound to fail.
But that’s beside the point. The fact is love wasn’t the only thing lost. Men
also go through the similar hardships after divorce/separation. With a
lowered standard of living of up to 40% is a lot to take on by oneself, for a
man or woman.
I believe that it must be financially straining for many couples or
should I say EX- couples, to file for and live after divorce. Imagine the
payments necessary to get lawyers, to present the most favourable means of
dissolution of the marriage that was. For women, it is seen to be typically
harder on them to survive. Though the following statistics show that there is
somewhat of a balance of the strain. Maybe not in the immediate relation but
across the board there is balance.
In the process of acquiring primary sources of information, such as
interviews of actual experiences of individuals that have actually been
through or that are in the process of getting a divorce, was hampered by the
unwillingness of the pupils being interviewed, to share any experiences of
the past or present. Mainly due to the hurtful nature of the situations and the
memories being brought up that have been seemingly buried deep, being
resurfaced by the same person who tried to bury them.
Hence all my sources are from web articles and books on the general
topic psychology.
This also posed a serious challenge in getting information that was strictly
about the “man and woman” in the divorce. Many articles as you would
guess led straight to the effects that divorce on children. Though I was able
to gather some information.

Dr Linda J. Divorce is essentially. and . and strokes than married men are — in addition to being 39 percent more likely to commit suicide and engage in risky behaviour. He also speaks of there being a lot of uncertainty. Researchers estimate divorcing Individuals would need more than a 30% increase in income. and high cholesterol. Waite & Dr Maggie Gallagher marriage researchers once agreed. have poorer physical and mental health. “new romantic relationships end up producing greater feelings of loneliness. and lower selfesteem. About one in five women fall into poverty as a result of divorce. financially stressful. Three out of four divorced mothers don’t receive full payment of child support. to maintain the same standard of living they had prior to their divorce. high cholesterol “comfort food”. unhappiness. since a divorce is a stressful process and may also be a stressful life to live after the marriage has been dissolved. high blood pressure. men seem to be having a more difficult time coping with the dissolution of a marriage. According to a recent study from the Journal of Men's Health. Stress may either cause loss of appetite or cravings for fatty. Another effect that divorce has on mainly women is Metabolic Syndrome Metabolic syndrome occurs when several dangerous conditions arise at once. a stable marriage may be your most important asset. including high blood pressure.” It also goes on to say. such as sending a lot of emails to your divorce attorney or emptying your joint bank account to try to take over the finances. a loss generally about 10%–40%.” In an overview of chapter 6 of the Utah State University’s Utah Divorce Orientation. and survive on less money than before. There may also instances of planning the further need to adjust to the back-and-forth movement of children between the once married couple. high blood sugar. Most men experience a loss in their standard of living in the years after a divorce. stroke. It increases your risk for heart disease. on average. Walfish says that anxiety can sometimes manifest itself in controlling behaviour. Many men and women experience this health incriminating effect of stress during the process of divorce or after.” Drastic weight change is one such resulting factor. Which in a sense is result of anxiety. on average. after a divorce anxiety levels shoot sky high. She1 wrote “It turns out that in the age-old battle of the sexes. divorced adults. One might suddenly have to move. so far there is some balance of the financial strain on both parties. divorced men are more susceptible to heart disease. They experience more social isolation. as well. Well. excess belly fat. get a new job.” Anxiety "Typically." says Fran Walfish a psychotherapist. “When it comes to building wealth or avoiding poverty. what are the implications of this stress? In a web article by the name of: “3 BIG Reasons Why Divorce Is More Stressful On Men than Women” by Tiffany McHugh (Copyright 2016). stated “Compared to adults in a stable marriage. depending on circumstances. As we can see. This can come in the form of weight loss or gain. which can lead to insecurity.” Divorce is clearly bad for your health.

but in all cases lives will change in a negative sense. A study published in Archives of Internal Medicine found that women who are divorced (as well as women who are widowed or in unhappy marriages) are more likely to develop metabolic syndrome than women who are in happy marriages. Withdrawal. Aside from medical issues divorce can affect ones sociality. This at times is the only solution. In conclusion divorce or separation is no easy life change. With your life changing in a way that it will never be the same ever again. My view is. drug addictions and even mental disorders such as paranoia. depression. that the magnitude of the negative implications are too great for me not to encourage persons to try their best to solve the problems without resorting to a divorce. because the cost of a few marriage counselling sessions is immeasurably less compared to the massive amounts WASTED in a court war.diabetes. .