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What is it that we seek?

----------------------When we were kids, we couldn't wait until we'd be all grown up. First, as kids,
we are second degree humans; we are important, but adults are more important. Th
at's why they keep telling us: Once you are grown up (fill in the empty space .
. . ). Second, as kids, there seem to be something mysterious about being an adu
lt; perhaps because it is something that we cannot attain at that moment.
As kids, we thought that once we become adults, we'll have all the answers and w
e certainly had many questions. Curiously, it may have not occurred to us back i
n our childhood, that many of the adults that we approached with our questions w
ere either unable to give us an answer, or that their answer made little sense.
That alone, should have been a revealing hint, that the answers to that which we
seek, may not be in adulthood.
Another thing that may not have occurred to us as curious and questioning kids,
was the whole issue of "At what point did we actually begin to have these questi
ons and problems"? Had we actually asked this question, it may have occurred to
us that we weren't in fact born with all these questions and seeking, and that i
t came later.
But why did it come later? Is it possible that the whole IDEA of having question
s which are in need of answers, and the seeking for something that we believe we
do not have, that this IDEA has simply been handed over to us by kind hearted p
eople who are themselves as lost as lost gets?
And so, this insane restless search for God-knows-what, has started very early o
n in our lives, for reasons that are not clear, and has been escorting us on-and
-off ever since. At times, we may just let it be as we allow ourselves to be abs
orbed with the busyness of life. But then at other times, these nagging feelings
What is it that we seek?
Surely, it must be something very special. Is it the same thing for all of us, o
r is something different for each person? After all, there are those who honestl
y believe that they're not looking for anything other than the next rung up in t
he ladder . . . at least that's how they may feel for a while.
Here's what I think.
As newly born babies, what we saw in the world was miraculous. We saw much more
than we'll ever know. Our sight, both the physical as well as the spiritual was
clear and unobstructed. We saw many of the things that adults were seeing, but a
lso much much more, with depth and understanding that goes way beyond the five s
enses, logic, concepts and language. But from very early on, our education/progr
amming started. We were forced to see the world in a particular way. Concepts we
re introduced to us that were a completely unnatural separation of the oneness w
hich IS everything, and each such concept was labeled by means of words. These c
oncepts and words were then repeated to us again and again on end, until we star
ted repeating them and later on, identifying with them. From that point on, what
we've been seeing as the world, has nothing whatsoever to do with the world and
with reality. We lost several most precious things:
- True understanding - concept-less.
- An actual connection with reality
- Awe
- Inner peace
Ever since that early programming took place, we are alone - an isolated and dis
connected bunch of souls, living day-in-day-out, minute-chasing-minute like zomb
ies in nowhere land, trying to make sense of our lives.

One may resent reading this and say that they have a VERY fulfilling life with a
great job, a great spouse, children etc. And I have no doubt that they do. But
that's not the entire picture. The troubling truth is ever present. One may keep
it hidden from the entire world, even those closest to them, but they know that
in moments of silence, these thoughts haunt them. This is why so many of us can
not handle a single quiet moment, or meditation, and must constantly move from d
oing one thing to the other. And if we have nothing to do, we create them: check
ing Emails, texting, shopping, TV, calling someone, internet - we a have a room
full of toys.
Think about /AWE/, for example. Although we don't experience awe very often, we
do get glimpses of awe every once in a while. It is always extraordinarily simpl
e and very powerful. Just like being overtaken by a view of the moon, or a sunri
se, or a flower, or a beautiful smile, or an amazing act of kindness . . . It is
nothing short of magic. And in that moment, while we are in awe, time stops. Wh
ich to me suggests that Time is also just a concept that was programmed into us
early on and isn't real at all, (even if we found ways to justify its existence)
. When we're in awe, time ceases to exist, along with our problems, pains, diffi
culties and everything else that's part of our lives.
Imagine living in endless awe from now on.
Well - there's good news and there's bad news:
The good news is that there's a way back to that which is lost, at least partial
ly. The bad news is that to get there would be impossible as long as we wish to
continue our way of life as it is now. It's a tough choice. But it CAN be done.
A word of warning before you continue reading. Most of you are likely to feel ve
ry strongly against what's to follow. Which is hardly surprising as it goes agai
nst every single thing that we were ever taught. There's also likely to be a str
ong emotional element of profound objection and rejection of what's to follow. J
ust be aware and as you read, be aware of yourself, of how you are reacting, and
don't be afraid to question those reactions, emotions, thoughts, and yes - fear
s - that may come as a torrent. Keep in mind that you are free to make whatever
choice you wish. But also ask yourself this: Is it possible that we never made a
choice to live our present life in the first place - that it was handed to us i
n terms of what life is all about and how we should fit in.
With that being said:
If we cannot see the world for what it truly is, and if it is manmade concepts t
hat shatter the unity into incomprehensible bits and pieces that don't fit toget
her, and if these concepts themselves are not real - then by closely inspecting
and questioning each of these concepts, they should disappear. In fact, much of
the power that these concepts have for us, is through an unseen and unnoticeable
power of assumption. There is much more assumption behind much of these concept
s, than there is actual substance. Just like atoms - a nice concept accompanied
by a nice picture, which doesn't stand the reality test, and as we zoom in close
r and closer, the actual substance that we expect to find blurs away until there
's nothing left.
For example; Let's say that both you and I look at a painting of a red rectangle
. I ASSUME, that you see exactly what I see. In reality, this cannot be proved o
r disproved. One may say that I CAN be proved true because if both you and I are
given a box of crayons and a sheet of paper, we will reproduce a similar pictur
e. And that's true. However: by being given a box of crayons and a sheet of pape
r, we are forced to use these tools. We are forced to reduce our means of expres
sion. But even prior to that, as we simply LOOK at the red rectangle, because of
our conditioning, we are already forced to see it as a red rectangle /in the fi
rst place/.
Take this article as another example.

When I first wanted to write this article, it was nothing more than a feeling; n
o concepts, no thoughts, no words. Then, as I was trying to be able to convey th
is feeling to share it with others, I had to begin conceptualizing it. Each addi
tional concept damaged the intensity of the initial wordless-truth, which was al
ive. It ended up as lines of text, which to me at least, are too far removed fro
m what I was hoping to convey.
But how can we realistically question these concepts? You may be amazed at how s
imple it can be. We can ask simple basic questions. For example:
1) How can I be certain that there is in fact such a thing?
2) Is it possible that there isn't such a thing?
3) Am I willing to be open to the possibility that, as much as I am convinced th
at I am right, that I may actually be wrong?
This is just a starting point, and we may add as many poking, provocative, offen
sive, ridiculous, stupid, irresponsible and dangerous questions, as we are able
to conjure up.
We can do it with anything. /ANYTHING./
Let's take a few examples.
An argument.
1) How can I be certain that there is in fact such a thing as right and wrong?
2) Is it possible that there isn't such a thing as right and wrong and that we a
re both right, depending on the perspective?
3) Do I have to prove the other person wrong to feel good about myself? Is that
some mental need of mine?
4) Am I trying to prove something to myself? To the other person? To on lookers?
Feels weird?
It has to. This is something most of us hardly ever do and it feels unnatural, a
bsurd and pointless.
Another example: Reality.
1) How can I be certain that there is in fact such a thing as reality?
2) Is it possible that there isn't such a thing as reality, and that it is no di
fferent than a dream from which I haven't awakened yet?
3) Is it possible that reality is a collective dream of millions of people, anim
als and plants?
4) Is there a way for me to know the truth?
Imagine a person - who's unable to discern colors - looking at a peacock. All th
at they can see are shades of grey. They believe that they see the peacock for w
hat it truly is. In fact, they are likely to become upset (at least earlier in t
heir lives, before they learn to accept their disability) when it is suggested t
o them that their painting of a peacock, using a black Sharpie, is not truly wha
t a peacock looks like.
Our concepts, likewise, are a form of disability. Language serves to both establ
ish and perpetuate this disability.
Some of you may be thinking: "Dissolving concepts by asking questions, cannot po
ssibly be this simple, otherwise, many of us would have already found it". This
again, brings in the power of assumption - we do it all the time. We do it in sc
ience, in medicine, in religion, in art, in relationships and in life. Assumptio
n is the creation of something that's not really there. And it's easy enough to
apply these questions to the possibility that we may be making assumptions.
If one is willing to seriously consider the possibility, that it is in fact poss
ible to /rediscover awe/, and begin to live life in a way that has not been expe
rienced since our first two years of life - one of several phenomena may be expe

1) We may feel foolish
2) If we persist, we may come across situations where we can easily see that a c
oncept is not real, but at the same time realize that if we do not use this conc
ept, society will reject us.
3) If we continue to persist, we may discover that hand in hand with an increasi
ng awe, we are also experiencing paralyzing fear, as the world begins to change
in front of our eyes, as we're seeing things that are "not there" (at least acco
rding to what others may say), and also not seeing things that others say are th
Do you think that's unlikely?
Could that be an assumption you're making?