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The Affect of Technology on Relationships

Imagine this scenario: its date night and you are having a nice dinner with your
partner, but instead of talking both of us our on our phones. This occasion is becoming
such a common occurrence that it is beginning to cause great concern for these
relationships. A poll by the Pew Research Center shows that two-thirds of adults in
America admit to being connected with technology during their relationship. With this
many couples being intertwined with the virtual world, we ask how it affects these
relationships. The way I see it is technology has three ways it affects relationships:
good, bad, and neutral. I will explain why I believe technology holds its place in
relationships today while maintaining accountability within the relationship.

It may be hard to interpret what Im referring to when I bring up technology.


Technology is such a broad category, especially in todays world, and all of its broad
branches can be used to have an affect on todays relationships. For the most part when
talking about technology, I am referring to cell phones, social media, and the internet,
but that does not limit it to just those conveniences. Of course there are other mediums

of technology that can impact relationships, but these are the biggest means of virtual
communication and support. Psychologist, Alex Lickerman emphasizes that technology
is an absolutely amazing invention that has connected the world more entirely than ever
possibly dreamed. This connection though, has had its share of costs. The costs he
mentions is why this is such a controversial topic. Specifically the costs he refers to are
the damaging affects in our relationships, interaction, and decision making. Knowing
that there are several costs out there caused by technology, lets take a look into how
technology has a negative impact our world today.

Technology is a hugely controversial topic in todays world. Some argue it is the


best thing to ever happen, and others argue it is destroying our future. You might ask
how could something so revolutionary and useful destroy our future, and I believe the
answer is simpler than it sounds. Denise Daniels, pediatric nurse and parenting expert,
believes she knows why there are so many problems with this technology. "These kids
aren't connecting emotionally, she told an interviewer who confronted her about why
these virtual relationships were so different from their physical ones. This lack of
connection causes more problems when this virtual relationship meets in the physical
world. That disconnection is more noticeable when there is no screen between you and
the other person. Another major problem that couples feel that is caused by technology

is that they feel their spouse or partner is distracted by their phone or other medium.
One quarter of committed adults admitted to feeling like their partner was distracted or
they were neglected because of technology the other was hooked on. With these
accounts why do we continue to have technology in our relationships? The answer is
because the benefits outweigh the bad.

What benefits would I be referring to? There are several benefits, like having
access to their partner at all times no matter where they are at. Many couples who are
forced into long distances can make it easier with a simple phone call or Video
message. The Pew Research Center has found that most adults say the internet has
had no impact on their lives, but for those who say it has had an impact, say that it was
overwhelmingly positive. Couples using technology today use it to reach out to their
loved one, check up on them, or even just remind them of the shopping list they left on
the counter. There are many supporters of using technology to communicate with family
and friends across the globe. Marc Brackett, director of Yale Universitys Center for
Emotional Intelligence, and Denise Daniels, pediatric nurse, are two individuals who
support using technology for communication. "Many of my students are foreign and
cant see their families," Brackett noted. "For them there's nothing better than being able
to stay in touch online. It's very good in that way. Bracketts experience with young

adults using technology to communicate has given him his belief that it truly is a good
thing to have. I believe that despite there is lots of negatives to technology there is a lot
of promise built into it. The Pew Research Center has reported that 41% of adults under
30 believe that cell phones help them grow older and likewise 21% over 30 feel the
same way. Although many dont agree that technology is positive, the number of couples
approving it in their relationships is climbing rapidly. It is there for everyone 24/7 it helps
make communication between couples easier and faster, and helps in terms of being
able to reach out to others for advice and other loved ones. All of these great things are
why I approve of technology today and why you should as well.

Like Dr. Lickerman stated, there are costs to todays technology, but there are
too many benefits to completely throw it out. The convenience of having your loved one
on the phone in a matter of seconds can be priceless, and should not be forgotten. We
may feel slightly disconnected, but they are still the same person we love. This
disconnection we feel is far less than the one we would feel without our technology.
Without our technology we wouldnt have any access to our partner, and we need to
remember that our technology allows us to have constant access to them no matter
where they are. Looking at technology in this perspective makes it seems so logical to
not only keep technology, but encourage each other to use it. That is why we should

continue using this technology to ensure we have access to the conveniences that
connect us to our loved ones all day, everyday.

Authors last name, first name. Title of Article. Title of Source (not the URl)
italicized or underlined. Date of publication(Date Month Year). URL (truncated
to .com, .edu, .org, etc). Date of access

Lenhart, Amanda and Duggan, Maeve. Couples, the Internet, and Social Media.
Pew Research Center. 11 February 2014. http://www.pewinternet.org. 5 June 2016.
This was research collected relatively recently and organized by these two
authors. It refers to how couples feel technology has affected their relationships. It
was published by Pew Research Center. The research center is a subsidiary of The
Pew Charitable Trusts and does not take policy positions. They get their information
from public polling, demographic research, and other analyses of media.It is not a
peer reviewed document. It is not very current but corresponds with other info ive
gathered, and they do document where they received their information. The
purpose is to inform readers of how couples believe technology has impacted their
relationships.

Lickerman, Alex. The Effect of Technology on Relationships. Psychology Today. 8


June 2010. https://www.psychologytoday.com. 5 June 2016.
This article is almost exactly six years old. Although it is older it still applies to
the basis of human operation and psychology. The author is a licensed professional
psychologist who is an expert in the field. The editor sends the articles through a
series of checks by other professionals to ensure it is accurate and backed up. It is a
peer reviewed document. It is accurate and confirmed by other professionals in the
field. It is another document used to inform the readers on the impact technology
has on people and their relationships.

Drago, Emily. The Effect of Technology on Face-to-Face Communication. Elon


University. Spring of 2015. https://www.elon.edu. 5 June 2016.
This document is very current. It is very relevant in the fact it thoroughly
explains technology, relationships, and their connection. The author is not an expert
in the field but has done her research for her paper. It was reviewed by her
professor and peers. it is accurate with her work being based off research she did
off of professionals in the area. It is meant to show how this relationship works and
is affected.

Johnson, Chandra. "Face Time vs. Screen Time: The Technological Impact on
Communication. National Deseret News. 29 August 2014.
http://national.deseretnews.com. 5 June 2016.
This article is current. It is another assessment arguing over the digital and
physical relationships between people. This is a highly trusted news service. Its
editor proofreads and test the article to ensure it is accurate before publishing. I do
not know if this could be considered a peer reviewed document. It is accurate with
quotes and documentation from professionals in the field. It is trying to show why
physical relationships should be not only encouraged but enforced.