FADE IN: INT.

THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT Shirt, Jeff, and Drake are huddled around the desk. One of the desk drawers is open. Jeff holds out his hand. JEFF Scalpel. Drake reaches into the desk drawer, pulls out a scalpel, and places it in Jeff's hand. Jeff takes the scalpel but what he does with it is obscured. Jeff holds out his hand. JEFF Syringe. Drake reaches into the desk drawer, pulls out a syringe, and places it in Jeff's hand. Jeff takes the syringe but what he does with it is obscured. Jeff holds out his hand. JEFF E. T. the Extra-Terrestrial Atari Video Game Cartridge. Drake reaches into the desk drawer. DRAKE Nope. Jeff keeps his hand held out. JEFF Magic Markers. Drake reaches into the desk drawer, pulls out magic markers, and places them in Jeff's hand. Jeff takes the magic markers but what he does with it is obscured. TWO MINUTES LATER JEFF It's finished. Shirt, Jeff, and Drake step back from the desk. Alan is sitting on the desk and he now has flames draw on his longer sides. The scalpel and syringe are sitting next to Alan.

ALAN Do they look okay? SHIRT They look fantastico. DRAKE (to Jeff) What was the scalpel and syringe for? JEFF Nothing. I've just always had this fantasy of pretending to perform surgery... I'm not sure why. SHIRT That doesn't explicar the E.T., el extraterrestre video juegos cartridge. The door in the corner opens up and Smolder and Scullery walk into the room. SMOLDER (to Scullery) --wasn't a utility closet. That was a laundry room. SCULLERY (to Smolder) Where were the washing machine and dryer then? SMOLDER (to Scullery) You were sitting right next to them. ALAN Scullery! The desk, couch, and chairs all SUDDENLY start moving around the room. Drake screams. Everybody looks at Drake.

DRAKE (yelling) 'Oly crap, I'm dreaming! Drake grabs Jeff by the shoulders. DRAKE (to Jeff) How could you let me fall asleep again? JEFF (annoyed) You're not asleep! The desk, couch, and chairs stop moving. DRAKE I don't believe you. (pauses) Say something in French. JEFF I can't speak French. Drake hugs Jeff. DRAKE Oh, thank goodness. Drake realizes everybody's staring at him. DRAKE (sheepishly) Sorry everybody. False alarm. Everyone refocuses their attention onto Scullery. ALAN (to Scullery) You're back!

Scullery rushes over to Alan, picks him up, and cradles him in her arms. SCULLERY I really missed you Alan. Scullery presses her face against Alan's lid. Drake clears his throat. SCULLERY (quietly to Alan) Why are Jeff and Drake here? ALAN (quietly to Scullery) They helped us rescue you. Scullery raises her head up and looks over at Jeff and Drake. SCULLERY (to Jeff and Drake) Thanks for whatever you did. JEFF You're very welcome. DRAKE (poorly disguised as a cough) Reward. Jeff elbows Drake in the side. Scullery looks over at Shirt. SCULLERY (to Shirt) It's not nice to see you again. Shirt slowly edges his way to the door. SHIRT (nervously) I think it's tiempo for me to dejar. Shirt opens the door and rushes through it.

The SOUND of Shirt running down the stairs. The SOUND of Shirt opening the downstairs door. Smolder walks over to the door and closes it. SMOLDER Anyways... SOLIDER (O. S.) (on bullhorn) Hey, you're not suppose to come outside. There's a quarantine in effect. (pauses) Wait a second. You're Subject Zero! Shirt YELLS. The SOUND of Shirt running down the street. SOLIDER (O. S.) (on Bullhorn) Somebody stop him! The SOUND of soldiers running down the street. ALAN Well I wasn't expecting that. Jeff walks over to the window and looks outside. JEFF They're all gone. Jeff turns to Drake. JEFF (to Drake) Let's get outta here before they come back.

Drake opens the door. JEFF (to Smolder, Scullery, and Alan) We'll be seeing ya. Jeff and Drake close the door as they leave. ALAN (quietly) I certainly hope not. LATER Smolder is sitting on a chair and Scullery is sitting on the edge of the desk nearest to the TV. Alan is sitting next to Scullery. The TV is on and they're watching it. On the TV, a poorly animated flash cartoon of a REPORTER sitting at a news desk. REPORTER (V. O.) (on the TV) --officially ending the quarantine ahead of schedule. Officials haven't said why the quarantine was put into effect which means we can only speculate wildly. Here's a few theories. The TV displays an image of a zombie followed by a poorly drawn image of a flying raccoon with the word "diseased" written under it, a video of a baby panda sneezing, an image of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, a World of Warcraft screenshot (or video clip) that relates to the Corrupted Blood incident, the poster for the movie Outbreak, and a poorly animated flash cartoon of a rat in a kitchen swimming around in a pot of soup with the words "Real Life Ratatouille" flashing above it. REPORTER (V. O.) (on the TV) Now like evolution these are only theories so feel free to believe them. (pauses) In other news, we've just received an angry letter from Richard Dawkins. (pauses)

That was fast. Smolder leans forward and turns the TV off. SCULLERY I was sort of hoping that they would of changed the way they present the news by the time I got back. ALAN I'm confused. Smolder turns to face Alan. SMOLDER What are you confused about? ALAN Well they make the news seem like it's live but it's a cartoon. If it's really live wouldn't that put a horrible strain on the animators' wrists. SCULLERY I'm pretty sure it's not live, Alan. The "news" they present usually doesn't match up with what really happened. SMOLDER Maybe it is live but they're just incompetent. The SOUND of someone knocking on the door. SCULLERY Come in. The door opens and HIDEO MAZDA, age 24, walks into the room. Hideo is Japanese and he's wearing a business suit. Scullery walks over Hideo and shakes his hand.

SCULLERY Hello. How can we be of service? Hideo pulls a small translating device out of his pocket and holds it near his mouth. He presses a button on it. HIGH PITCHED VOICE (V. O.) (from translating device) Konnichiha! HIDEO (in Japanese) Hello, my name is Hideo Mazda. I require your detecting help. The translating device makes a CLICKING sound. BRITISH VOICE (V. O.) (from translating device) Hello, my name please is Hideo Mazda. I need to find your help. Scullery looks over at Smolder with a confused look on her face. Smolder walks over to them. SMOLDER Sorry, what? HIDEO (in Japanese) Please forgive me. I don't like to speak English but my translator isn't working properly. May I speak English with a Japanese accent or will that make you very angry. Once again I apologize for your confusion. The translating device makes a CLICKING sound. BRITISH VOICE (V. O.)

(from translating device) Forgiveness please. I do not work properly if my translation to speak English do not like. May I speak English with Japanese accent if so very angry. You again I apologize for any confusion. SMOLDER (uncertain) Sure? Hideo presses a button on the device. HIGH PITCHED VOICE (V. O.) (from translating device) Sayonara! Hideo puts the device back into his pocket. Hideo speaks with a Japanese accent. HIDEO I need your help. I own a small video game company called Diamond Waterfront Games. SMOLDER I've heard of you guys. Didn't you make that awful elephant racing game? HIDEO Sadly yes. We've been working on a new game though. It's very different from "Republican Mascot Racing". We keep encountering problems with it though and that's why I need your help. SCULLERY How are we suppose to help? We're

not computer people. HIDEO What I need you to do is figure out if someone's trying to sabotage us. SMOLDER I guess we could do that. SCULLERY What if it's not sabotage? Hideo starts looking really nervous. HIDEO There's only one other thing it could be. The lights dim. Hideo motions for them to come closer. Smolder and Scullery move closer to Hideo. Hideo leans toward them and puts his hand to the side of his mouth. HIDEO (whispering) The game has become self aware. The lights dim even more. Smolder and Scullery's eyes widen. ALAN (yelling) What? Hideo, Smolder, and Scullery all scream. The lights go out. CUT TO BLACK: THE END