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"I thought you liked my messy hair?" I shot back at him. He raised his eyebrow. I raised both my eyebrows and bit my bottom lip. He laughed. "Gah, I'll go wash it." I untangled myself from his arms and got out of bed. "You dont have to, I was just wondering. Hey, Sam and Emm invited us over for lunch, you wanna go?" "Yeah, sure. That would be great." I hadn't seen the pack in a while, I missed them. "Okay cool, Ill wait here while you get ready." I kissed his cheek before I left the room, it seemed like we both were comfortable with it now. When I got to the bathroom I tried to brush out the tangled chaos before I got in the shower so it would be easyer, but it didnt work. It was actualy useless.
I stayed in the shower longer than I had planned, but it gave me time to think. Everything was perfect, life was back to normal. Not to mention me jumping of that stupid clift three days ago. If it wasnt for Jake, I would be at the bottom of the ocean somewere. That was the night of our first kiss. I wasn't sure I was ready for it yet, but I knew it was going to happen. I figured if I was going to keep on loving Jake and that Edward wasnt coming back, why not?. Steam was surrounding me. I had been in the shower long enough. I really didnt feel like blowdrying my hair so I just towel dried it and got dressed. I walked back to my room and found Jacob looking at the scrapbook I had tried to put together. He looked at the page with a subheading, but no picture. He just stared at it. I walked forward and he slamed the book when he
noticed me. I acted like I never noticed. He walked over to sit in the old rocking chair in the corner. I put my toilitries in the closet and shut the door. Jacob just watched me silently. I Leaned aginst the foot of the bed infront of him. "What are you thinking about?" He sighed. "I dont see how you do it." "Do what?" "How you go on every day like your'e not affected. Like you are happy. But when I leave you alone you break down. I dont understand. How do you act happy when I know your'e not. Why do you try?" "Jake, I am happy most of the time. I'm always happy when I'm with you. When I'm alone it just gives me time to think, thats all. Jacob, you make me so much better that I use to be. Every little thing use to remind me of him, and I would have a mental
breakdown. But now it's not as bad. I miss him, but not as much as I love you." Jacobs eyes grew soft, loving, caring. "Bella, you don't have to pretend for me." I wasn't pretending! I loved him! Could he not see that? I mean of corse I'm going to have my moments were I miss Edward but Jacob could provide so much more for me! The truth stung a little bit but I knew it was true. It was time to change compleatly. If I was going to love Jacob, I was going to have to do it full heartedly. No half-crack job. No jokes. Just me and Jacob. I knew what I was going to have to do. Forget him compleatly, or try my hardest to. "Jacob Black, I am NOT pretending for you. If I didnt love you as much as I did I would have told you earlyer, before all this happened. But I love you. With everything inside me! Do you not
understand, Jacob? I would never do that to you, I love you." His face was stunned. That was probly not the reaction he expected. There was no way on earth that I was ever going to let him feel let down. And I was NEVER going to let him think hes not good enough for me. He was so much better that me and more. I didn't deserve him. "Come here," He motioned for me to come sit in his lap, and of corse I did. "Bella, I beleve you. But I don't want you to hurt. It kills me inside to watch you in pain, and I want that to stop. You are my life, Bella! And I dont want you to be in pain because of that filthy bloodsucker! He was not good for you! He could have hurt you, but Bella, I will never hurt you!" His body was trembling. He closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose. The trembling calmed down as
fast as it came. Placing on of my hands on his face I sighed. I didnt want him to be upset. Mabie I was the one causing him pain. With his eyes still closed he breathed in and out steadily. It seemed like we sat like this for hours. Jacob finaly opened his eyes, "Are you ready to go?" "Um, yeah. Just give me a minute to change clothes." He sat me on my feet and didn't say anything as he left the room, closing the door behind him. I thought about the futer, how this would turn out in the end. Mabie Jacob was better for me. I put on the red blouse draped over the rocking chair, followed with my jean shorts. Befrore I left my room I grabbed my keys off my dresser, slinging my door open. Just as I started to walk forward I bounded rigth into Jacob. I had to admit, it was kinda like running smack dab into a brick wall. He caught me
right as I was about to fall. His lips were pressed in a tight line, he was trying his hardest not to laugh. It didn't work for long. His booming voice filled the house as he rocked with laughter. I couldn't help but to laugh with him. "Well hello ther!" He was still rocking with laughter as he greeted me. I took a deep breath to calm me down, he did the same. "Im so sorry, I'm a clutz." "I don't mind." He said with a huge grin. "So are you ready?" "Yeah I'm ready, I guess we can take the truck since you walked hear..... I'll drive." His driving sorta scared me too. But he didn't go as fast as Edward, I didn't know how much more torture my little truck could take. He was a senior citizen. "Okay that's fine. Should I help you to your car since
your'e equilibrium is a little low today, or can you take the chance of walking?" "I think I can manage."
The trip was a little quiet, other than Jacob giving me directions because I wasn't entirly use to the location. Jake sometimes randomly whisled or yawned. He sometimes sang a little if I was lucky. That boy could sing. He was so easy going. I could see some more of my old Jacob. When we pulled up at the Uley's, the pack was setting on the poarch. Paul howled as we walked up to them hand in hand. Jake smiled. "Hey, hey!" Embry extendet his fist out to him. Jake returned the fist bump. "How's it going my brotha'?" "Aw, I'm pretty great."
Embry nodded his head towards me, "Bella." I just smiled at him in return. Jared didn't look to happy. He was sitting with his legs hangin over the side of the poarch. "Burrrrrnnnn!" Paul yelled at Jared. "Looks like I get my five dollars!" He shoved Jared off the side he was sitting. His growl echoed the forest. Paul jumped back and forth with his fists infront of his face like a boxer getting ready for his first match. He punched the air some. "Watcha' gunna' do pup?" He punched the air once more. Jared stood up to face Paul, snarling. "Nock it off, guys." Authority fumed from Sam's voice. They both relaxed, Jared just mock punched Paul on the sholder. Jacob laughed. I was so confused. "What just happened?" Jacob explained to me, "Paul and
Jared just made a bet that I spent the night with you, and obviously, Paul won." He grinned down at me. I just giggled in return. "Okay guys, I have some news." Everything grew serious. "The redhead has made a new path to the North. She just keeps going back and forth, trying to find a crack in our defence. But we can't let that happen. Tonight we will pair up in groups, she got to close the other night and we cant let that happen again. Jared, you and Embry will take the North trail. Paul and I will take the oposite direction. Jacob you stay here with Emily and Bella. Bella do you think you can talk your dad into letting you stay over here tonight?" "I'm sure he want mind." "Okay thats great, it's settled. Lets eat." Everyone filed in the
kitchen as fast as they could. I wasn't realy that hungry because I was thinking about Victoria. The thougt of her had me petrified. Jacob pulled me behind him as he went to sit down. All I got was a peice of banana bread. Jacob gave me a woried glance. He didn't like it when I didn't eat. That only ment one thing to him, I was scared. The bloode was still gone from my face, I could feel it. That woried glance grew into one of disapproval. I just shook my head at him. Victoria was bound to get me. I could se her vicious, blood curdling smile. And her reched crimson eyes. A shiver went down my spine. Jacob shook his head in disapointment. I knew he thought I should have more faith in the pack, but I was scared for them. I knew what she was capable of. "So Bella, did ya' have fun last night?" Paul wagged his
eyebrows at me as he asked the question. Jared slumped his head into his hands. My cheeks were burning, I looked down at the tabel. "And how is this any of your buisness?" Jake shot back at him, his dark eyes teasing. "Well I was just curious." "Nothing happened, I just stayed over." Paul looked disapointed. "Thats sad, Jake. If I had a girl and I stayed the night at her house I would"Hey, at least I have a girl!" "Shut up!" "Hey man, it's the truth." "Did you even sleep in the same bed?!" "Yeah," My cheeks grew even hotter. "That's my boy." He extended his fist out to Jakes
for a fist bump. I just layed my head in my hands. They all laughed at my reaction. Jake rubbed my back in reasuring circles.
Jake drove me back home to get my stuff. I called Charlie to tell him that Sam was going to be out so I was staying with Emily. He said it was fine with him. Jake watched me as I gathered my stuff. His eyes followed me where ever I went. Finaly he spoke. "What are you thinking about?" "Actualy, I was thinking about tonight." He laughed. "Yeah that's going to be interesting, I get to baby sit!" He came and stood
infront of me. "Well I rely would'nt consider it baby sitting." His arms snaked around my waste. "Oh, it has it's benifits." He kissed me on the head. "So.... You guna' start baby sitting as a full time job?" "Sounds like a plan to me." He murmmered, pressing his lips againts mine. It wasn't rely the passionate kiss I was looking for but it was good enough. "Okay," I murmmered agints his lips pushing away. "Lets go to stinking sleepover."
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