Fun is, well, fun. When was the last time you had fun?

Was it with your friends? By yourself? With your gf/bf? In the backseat of a car? However you have fun, it's your own specific way, but however you go about it, you know that fun is, for lack of a better word, fun. But we can't define "fun" because it changes with every person. One person likes the backseat more then the next, so you can't say that their brand of fun is the same as the next guys. But remember when you were a kid, and anything could be fun. It was like constantly being on drugs. Bending your fingers, or kicking your feet into the air, anything could be fun. And when your friends were there, all bets were off, you would laugh and laugh at a bird or something spinning, or the word "duty", anything and everything was funny. But then you grow up, and things become less and less funny, so much so that you may become depressed. But then you find an amazing tool called "marijuana," soon enough all those child-like behaviors come back, and you laugh at duty again. But don't do drugs, they're bad for you. this daily enlightenment brought to you by Zippo: feeding your addiction to fire, and fueling any of your other addictions daily enlightenment not guaranteed everyday, I'm laughing at the word "duty" first of all, get your ass over to the variety show, it's at 7 tommorow (or today if your reading this on Friday), and forget the football team, no offense, but you'll have more fun at the Variety show. Anyways, todays enlightenment will delve into a controversial topic today, that is, computer geeks. There's nothing wrong with being a geek, as long as there is balance. Like for instance, I built my computer, I did, and I saved a shitload of money because of it. But I don't spend my entire life behind a computer screen, I talk and flirt and do all kinds of crazy things while not acting like a total dweeb ( a partial dweeb, not total). It's those that get all their social interaction through the IRC chat rooms that you should watch out for, cause those guys are borderline psycho. As they walk down halls, they will murmur to themselves how to fix a problem on the network, or some sort of coding language. Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the complete dweebs either, they can hack into shit and shit, so don't piss them off, but they are still a little weird. Don't beat up dorks, or they'll hack into your computer and fuck it up, cause they can't do much other destruction. This Daily Enlightenment brought to you by Microsoft: putting holes in the software, to give geeks a chance daily enlightenment not guarenteed, I'm hosting the variety show bitches!! Ok, The Vaiety Show, KICKED ASS, so much ass, that I didn't come home till it was 12:something. So, in turn, I thank all the people doing their acts, Battlecry for A Generation for their PA system, and Matt, for being my character foil on stage as my co-emcee. Of course I don't know why they spell it emcee when it is an acronym for Master of Ceromonies (MC), but either way. Todays enlightenment is about photos. Originally, we had no photos. If we wanted to catch a moment, we would have to paint what we wanteed to forever cherish. Then one day, some guy made a giant, gangly camera, and said to the populous, "this invention will change your life forever" The way the behemoth worked was you would open the lens cover, and it would take all day to get the right amount of exposure, so if anyone passed by while

the picture was being taken, the picture would be ruined, and the guy who passed through would be shot on sight. eventually th technology got so good, that we had 1-hour photo labs, so we could see the thing we just saw an hour ago, now. Then people got pissed that they would have to go to a photo lab, where perverts with White lab coats, would take your most prized memories, and stare at them for an hour. So we made digital cameras, with little screens so you could stare at the thing you just saw, right after you saw it. And then the added bonus of the power to delete the picture because you didn't find it good enough. But just bare with me here, causde I'm about to go philisophical, if pictures are our way of capturing a moment in time, then by deleting the picture, you have no proff that the moment happened, so my question is, if you delete a picture, did the moment ever happen? Wow, thats some deep shit. this daily enlightenment brought to you by Ipod nano: For those who compensate, by no compensating Daily enlightenment not guarenteed everyday, I'm philosophising about my digital camera The first car, for the record, was made by Karl Benz, later of Mercedes Benz, not Henry Ford as we, as Americans, so love to fantisize about. Our car is the doorway to freedom, some fear the power, others embrace, however you see it, cars have a major impacvt on our lives. The country we live in could not function if it were not for our cars. Just about 1/3 of our entire domestic shipping is by truck, that is why our oil demand is so high, because of our need for shit. We even have trucks to carry trucks to warehouses that were made out of parts that came from a truck, which, when the warehouse burns down because of some kid in a truck, a firetruck will begin its futile attempt to save the trucks inside, which, when the place has been leveled, the warehouse will go to a landfill, in a truck. But we all have a need to go faster. Get there fast so we can be there, only for a second, then leave fast. It's the American way. Then, of course, we have a need to put useless crap in our cars, most of which we will utilize, only for a short time. My father recently bought a new Mercedes Benz. (S55 AMG, Fucking beast) This car came with all the bells and whistles that could be packed into a single car without it being illegal. Navigation system, heating steering wheel, DVD player, keyless ignition, massaging seats, fax machine, built in cell phone, the fucking car could fly if you asked it to. And for the first week or so, my nose was buried into the manual, not cause I was going to drive the 496 horses, but to tell my dad how to. Man I need to get my license so I can total that car. this daily enlightenment brought to you by AOL: get 5064 hours of free internet, or use the CD as a coaster daily enlightenment not guarenteed everyday, I'm fucking around with the adjustable dildo in the Mercedes Fire is cool. No one knows exactly when or where fire was first utilised by humans. What we suspect is that lightning hit a tree and a curious early human decided to find out what the glowy stuff was. It turns out that this one curious human began the first cultural revolution. To this day we use fire on just about everything, why? cause humans are natural pyros. Just think, if not for fire, early humans wouldn't get the

heat, and if they survived that, metal work wouldn't have been started to protect themselves from other humans, and if they survived that, guns wouldn't have been made to hunt and war, and if we survived that, computer chips wouldn't have been made to go onto myspace, and if we didn't survive that, actually, you can't survive that. Either way, without pyros, the human species itself would be doomed to extinction. In conclusion, yay for pyros, may they light their way to happiness, I know I will, hehe. This daily enlightenment brought to you by Apple: remember us, we made the first good computer, before Microsoft, now you don't like us you ungrateful slobs daily enlightenment not guarenteed everyday, I'm "lighting my way to happiness" so to speak Advertisements are starting to piss me off. Right now on my screen there is one of those, "Play the game so you can get a Free Ipod" And it's flashing, over, and over and over and over and over, tempting me to move my indescriminant arrow over and press that one button ever so gently until a new screen appears, all with the same flashiness as the ad that brought me there. As a person who peruses the internet as much as I do, I know what is and isn't an ad, in fact I could probably tell you what ad will come up and at what time at any given website. But it is a necessary evil. For these ads feed those websites to keep them from making the internet one giant hole, one that we constantly throw money at. But at one point we must ask ourselves, where should we draw the line. Pop ups suck, and no one reads them anymore, except stupid people, but they shouldn't be the target market on the internet. My message is this, don't be a dumbshit you dumbshit. This daily enlightenment brought to you by SuperbRewards: you don't know who we are, but we give you free iPods. daily enlightenment not gurenteed everyday, I'm clickin pop ups over and over and over and over and... Have you ever been just walking along, then someone says your name? and then you turn around looking for someone who looks like they may have said your name, and no one is looking, so you just pass it off as a voice in your head, that's what I do anyways. Actually this has happened a lot since the Variety Show, people I had never met would say hi and start a conversation with me, and I being the amazing person I am, have a long conversation with them without even picking up their name. Occasionally I'll get a name, other times I'll just get a number, and I still won't know their name. It's really awkward to call someone up and ask "hey...um...who's this?" But I usually remember enough to stumble through a conversation long enough to catch a name, cause I'm smooth like that. But at the same time, there's still the anomaly of the person who calls your name from across the quad. First, before I begin my story, I would like to say, Don't call peoples names from across the quad, there are to many people to sort through who may've called their name, so just don't, it makes for some really awkward moments. Anyways, I sometimes get my name called from a very long distance, and I usually pass it off for voices in my head telling me to kill people ( I get that a lot.) But then someone I barely know will come up to me at the next passing period and say " I called your name and you just looked

around but you never saw me"...again, awkward moment, don't do it. this daily enlightenment brought to you by Wite-Out: we spell it wrong cause we are fucked up daily enlightenment not guaranteed everyday, I'm fighting the voices in my head Lately I have been bored. I am finding myself drawing precisly drawn doodles with such fine lines and near perfect form. I am accomplishing feats probably never done by man before. So I have decided that i should start a something. Something that could fill my time and keep my wandering mind from meandering too far from the skull that tends to house it. I actually began thre daily enlightenment out of this same goal. But over time it has just become something I have grown too used to, something that has become so much a part of my everyday routine. So I must find a something to do, anything that can calm my brain into thinking thoughts that souldn't be thought. Or writing writes that shouldn't be wrought. or setting flames that souldn't be flought. I think my point has been got, so now I will commence with my plot. Farewell for I'm going to take a whiff of something I bought *wink* this daily enlightenment brought to you by Pepsico: I'll tell you a secret, we stole the ingredients to Coke decades ago, they're the same fucking thing, so stop trying to tell the difference daily enlightenment not guarenteed everyday I'm drinking a shot "you should always watch the quiet ones." Isn't that what they always say? especially when a quiet one has raped and murdered all his old classmates that had ever bullied him? Well I have noticed a trend, and I would like you to bare with me here. You notice, all throughout your time on earth, that the quiet criminals always do the well planned, almost untraceable crimes, but only very few of them, while the angry loud criminals do a few very loud, unplanned crimes, like shoot a cop in the foot and run away. The loud ones get on the news because they will run and jump and scream, "Hey, I am running because I did it!!" While the quiet ones will hide out at their mom's house until they are found, or they turn themselves in because they feel so guilty. The loud ones do the crazy shit that's found on America's Greatest Chases, While the quiet one will be the 20 second clip of him being put into a cop car and driven away. Then theirs the outside social contribution that is completely different. Rarely do you talk about the loud ones, because there are so many, but you always hear about the quiet ones. Why? cause you always watch the quiet ones. this daily enlightenment brought to you by Your Local Library: where you want to go if you can't spell library daily enlightenment not guaranteed everyday, I'm watching the loud people Grades scare the shit out of me. Ever since I was a child, my character was judged by the letter on my report card. It seems like no one cares about how good of a person you are, or how much you contribute to society as a whole, if you have a C, you mean nothing to anyone. I bet if the school system was around during Jesus'

time, no one would give a shit about him if he got a C on one of his six week progress reports. My religious views aside, but that's a completely different enlightenment. Anyways, I think we should replace the grading system. I think that we should reverse the entire thing without telling the parents. A's would be F's B's would be D's and C's would be...C's, i guess. so that way you could slack off and no one would be the wiser. If I ruled the teacher's would have to go through a rigorous Student Screening, but that too is another enlightenment. Anyways I think grades are what causes teen depression, that and stupid people. this daily enlightenment brought to you by MTV: bringing you less music videos for shows like, "Date My Mom" and "The Surreal Life" daily enlightenment not guaranteed everyday, I'm judging peoples character by what there grade is in English Why do we obsess over a persons ethnicity. It has become such an easy question to ask, and we answer it just as easily. I think we get kind of a kick out of finding out what a persons background is. Whenever we find it out it changes our view of that person almost. Like when you ask someone who looks hella white, and they turn out to be half black, we shudder and say to ourselves, "how the hell does that work?" and I would like to say, that if you are a 16th black, but you look as white as the cast of OC, you shouldn't attempt to act black, or else you may be capped up the ass in the ghetto DAWG! WEST SIDE!!!!!!! but I think we treat ethnicity like a kind of math problem. Like Irish plus English plus a bit of Indian equals Bob, and we all go, ahhh that's why he can't hold his liquor. this daily enlightenment brought to you by Wells Fargo: our ATM's are open 24 hours a day, so you can pull $400 at 4 AM, cause drug dealers don't accept debit. daily enlightenment not guaranteed everyday, I'm taking shots with Bob