This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
And that someone…is me. (part 2)
Again here I am. And I’d like to give a shout out to TheSecretLiesWithin. She is also one of the people who inspired me to write my own biography. This second part includes and embodies my personal information. As in, when I say personal… I mean it, “seriously”. And I have this secret, which I want to share so that you may avoid the mistakes I have done. I am… of course Jenine, but call me J.J. Coz I like it better. If you haven’t read my first biography, read it first before this. So you would comprehend much better. My life has been so far awesome because of the experiences that made me strong, made me more faithful and never gave up hope. Enough about that... I love red. Since when? Since I started being brave. Yes, you got it right. I have been the scaredy-cat when I was in elementary. Pinch me, I’ll cry; Tease me, I’ll cry; Shout at me, I’ll cry. Whenever I’d face some problems, I‘ll run from them. As in, ignore it and never solve it. But then after all my first four realizations back then… I became the girl I am now. But before all that… let me share to you what I was immediately after I wasn’t scared anymore. I, first became a bully, a snobby b*tch. Or I guess that’s what people would call me. Before I am what I am today… I was…
I bullied everyone, either a boy or a girl. I never obeyed the rules. Even my parents or even those who were older than me. Right word; A Rebel. I don’t know what came to me… or why was I like that back then. I knew I was wrong, I knew that what I was doing was wrong; I knew that how I treated others was wrong. And we have this guard at school, and the rules were no student goes out until their service arrives. But I persistently talked to the guard to let me out, I think I even raised my voice a little at him. Oh how wrong I was and instantly regretted what I’ve done. Because when I successfully got out the school with a couple of friends I towed with me… the day after that, he got fired. How cruel was I? He had a family; a wife and kids. I was wrong. I must admit… I was wrong badly.
But I didn’t stop just there. I hurt others and hurt myself.
Do you know what a chain smoker is? Oh no, I’m not like that. It’s just that a chain smoker smokes after one cigarette then another then
comes another. It goes on and on and on. Just like me when I had boyfriends. I know I told you at my first biography that after what happened between me and Edward, that I despised boys. That didn’t mean I never would have a boyfriend. What I meant was I despised boys like him. But I became just like him. I two-timed, once. But what difference does it make? I still did it. Another point for me, for doing the wrong thing again. Back to the chain smoker thing… I’m like that, because after I break up with one boyfriend I have another. And it goes on and on and on. And before you think of something not-too-nice. (Take note: I still have my… “V” you know what. I don’t kiss. Just a peck.) Wanna know why I answer boys after another? It’s because boys were like a necessity for me back then, like air… I thought that without them I couldn’t go through life. Yes, another senseless thought from me. If some of you may have read my poem “I’m sorry, I can’t.” it was me… saying that I just can’t break anyone’s heart anymore. Yes… I was the school heart-breaker. I was wrong… so deeply wrong. And if some of my ex ever get to read this. I’m sorry to you. So very sorry. May you find someone who deeply deserves your love. Some of you probably hate me now and not read the rest… but please do. You’ll know what happened to me. How my transformation began. I was soon-to-be a junior student (3rd year high school student). And before school started. My heart always felt a piercing pain in it. A stabbing continuous process. Stab. Stab. Stab. It’d go on for 15 minutes. I’d get teary eyed, because the pain was just too excruciating. And after the whole painful fifteen minutes, I would get really tired. Like I would want to lie in bed forever. I hated it. I thought I was going to die. And every day ‘that’ same process would go on. I hid it from my parents. Because I didn’t want to know if I was sick or what. It’d hurt like hell. And I prayed every night and day that it would just go away thoroughly. At school, the hardest part was… when I was in front of the class reporting. Then came the piercing pain, I tried not to wince. But when it hurts I couldn’t speak. So I would slowly reached in my bag and get my painkillers and drink it. Then continue to report though the pain was… Ugh! Pretty damn painful. Now came the life-changing part. The pain… for me it was like God was making me feel all the heartaches I made people feel. And it was coming back to me tenfold more painful. It changed me… I slowly embraced the pain. I became emotional. I became more understanding to people. The people whom I ignored before, I made them my closest friends. My enemies
were now my best buds. My parents whom I always turned down on opening my school life on them were now my best friends. Let me introduce you to the people in my life who changed me to what I am now.
My father… he was the type of dad that even though I don’t open up to him about my school life. He was always there. He always knew what advice to give to me. When he sees me teary eyed sitting by the bed. He’d sit with and tell me things that were almost too close to what happened to me. As if, whenever my dad looks me in the eye… he could see right in me. My dad… is both my shield and mirror. Shield for He protects me to what causes me pain. Mirror for He could sit with me and be me! I mean, just transform and be just like my age and comprehend with me. His jokes are my best medicine!!! Love you dad (if ever you get to read this)
o My mother… I can’t help but laugh. My mother is like me. Except for the fact that she’s so… strong. She doesn’t cry at the things that I would definitely cry to. (I told you I was emotional.) She’s the type that inspires me so much. Both she and my father, works hard for us. Just to let us finish until college. Aaaah, I can’t wait to finish high school and go to college and finish college and start working so I could make my parents rest from work and just take care of them. My mom is such a blessing… an angel in disguise as I call her in my mind. She has the right amount of smoothness of a diamond and the exact amount of roughness from a rock. I wanna be like her. Love you mom!!
My sister… she tolerates me. Haha. In a good way. She’s like fire. So unpredictable yet when it appears you just know how to hang out with it. She gives me advice like no other people can. And when I tell her about a friend that backstabs me, her brow will raise and she’ll say “Where does she live? I’d like to give her a private visit.” Haha. It’s fun having her around. Love yah sis!
o My teacher... before school started, I prayed to the heavens that will they please give me a teacher who would comprehend and teach like no other. And guess what? I got more. I entered my classroom, and sat in front. Then she enters, completely professional-looking. She announced that she’ll be our adviser and I immediately loved her. When she teaches, I can’t help but
smile. It was like she was fluent in English. And she has this aura that would definitely make you wanna listen to her. She may not know the impact she did to me. But the way she teaches just inspired me more to study much harder. And can you believe it? She might be reading this right now. (A shout out to my best teacher Ma’am Tina! Also known here in Scribd as princesstina <3 ) Because she gives me a little piece of her time. She supports me like no mentor has ever done. Thank you ma’am. love yah!!
Joshua Harris… he is the author of ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’. And to the singles out there. Kindly get a copy of his book. And you shall be enlightened. You will there see the new outlook of love. Separate love from lust. Never use the word love when you know what you’re doing is tainted. Joshua Harris, one courtesy to you. Thank you for writing such a book. It didn’t make me hate men, but understood men like no other. Your book is inspiring, your words are magical… and in between the lines you wrote, I saw… change. Thank you fine sir. I greatly owe you my love life. Haha. I am now letting God take course of my life. Because ‘He says Wait.’
All these people, made such an impact in my life. All in a different degree but all of them are significant. Even though I didn’t include YOU but you know you are a part of my life… then trust me… you made such an impact on me too. <3
For you my dear reader. How can I thank you enough? I am profoundly happy to say… that I am very thankful that you, the reader, might be reading this right now.
My shout out to my fellow friends… do not wait for a painful experience to change you. Walk in a straight line and to a path that you know is worth going. Don’t hate your parents, don’t hate your friends. Stop disobeying the higher authorities.. Start listening. Listen to the inner you. Close your eyes and feel change take course.
I simply love you all. Xoxo cRazymee(J.J)
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue listening from where you left off, or restart the preview.