My daughter’s Facebook wall says, I HATE IT WHEN PARENTS STAND BEHIND U & WATCH WHAT UR DOING ON THE COMPUTER . She is 14 and I love her the most. All of us like to feel special and loved. Our kids are no exception. Many of us, myself included live very hectic lives. While we may do our very best to spend quality time with our kids, how often do we spend a whole quality day with them? Although most parents would agree that their children are more important than their job, most usually get more on-the-job training than they do as a parent. Children need to be loved unconditionally. That does not mean that you have to approve of everything the child does. What it does mean is that even though the child misbehaves, you still love and accept the child and provide support. Let us assure Quality Time to our children. "Quality Parenting Time" is time spent doing an activity that is meaningful to the parent and child. It is time when family members really get to know each other. Quality time is spent focusing attention on the other person and sharing thoughts and feelings. The goal of parenting is to help your child become a responsible adult. To achieve this goal, parents help children learn about life and living in today's society. The time a parent spends with a child is important. The activity does need not be costly, but rather one that satisfies both the parent and the child. Parents help children develop positive self-esteem by communicating the value they feel for the child. Words of encouragement and love help provide children with the courage to try new things without worrying excessively about not being able to do them. In the past, when parents had questions about child-rearing they would usually have an extended family member close by to ask advice. While some parents may have family close by, many admit that their elders' advice on child-rearing often differs from current parenting information or their preferred style. This is a result of changes in our society over the past few decades. Children are facing issues previous generations never had to face. It is important for parents to listen and communicate in open, respectful ways, so their children will feel safe in discussing their problems and feelings.

Parent education does not focus on what parents are doing wrong or advocate never disciplining children, as many parents assume. It provides new options to parents and encourages them to respect their own rights, as well as their children's. Above all with the march of time, the quality family relationships are becoming increasingly important in our society. With pressures and issues like drugs and sex, which children are facing today, the need for open communication and positive family relationships is vital. Today's children also face dangers not known of in the past. Children are being taught not to blindly obey an adult's requests if it could be a safety risk. As a result, adults are no longer perceived as infallible and children are encouraged to think/decide for themselves and be more assertive than children in previous generations. Requirements from Quality Parents, the Responsible Parents tend to cover attributes towards the fact that Communication must be clear and prolific. Positive, open communication is only one area that parents can address to improve their effectiveness as parents. Through reading and attending parenting classes, parents can learn how to foster loving, respectful family relationships. Demanding behavior -- from the time a child is about two to four a parent can usually expect to experience it. Occasionally children test limits in their attempts to separate from their parents as individuals, with preferences and ideas of their own. Parents should not, however, excuse such behavior as only a passing stage. A parent's response to such bossiness may determine how long and how intense these battles last. In most cases, parents can respond to demanding behavior by refusing to respond until the child's request is appropriate. What, you may be saying, if this approach is met with an even more demanding response, like a tantrum, yelling, or even destructive behavior? First of all, a parent can expect children to resist a change in parenting styles if the parent has allowed himself/herself to be ordered around in the past to avoid a scene. Parenting differs from individual to individual. Talk often and encourage your partner. Notice positive behavior and results, rather than pointing out mistakes. If you do discuss mistakes, focus on what you can each learn and brainstorm ideas for more effective responses, in case the situation arises again.

Never be overprotective of your child. At the Parent/ Teacher Meets (PTM), be careful to not accuse the teacher or assume anything. Simply describe what you’ve observed and why this concerns you. Then LISTEN to what the teacher says. Avoid defending your son. You can simply say, “it appears that” or “it’s possible that.” Your goal is to work WITH the teacher to find a solution that works for all three of you. It’s possible the teacher doesn’t realize the effect her comments and actions are having on your child. Reassure her that you know she is trying to help, but that your son may not be interpreting what she’s doing as helpful. As she brings up issues, be sure to tell her what you are doing at home to support her and your son’s education. Homework is a child’s responsibility, so we need to be careful how much we help. We want to be aware of what our children are doing and be involved in helpful ways, but not help too much. Avoid the word "we" — it implies that homework is our responsibility. Say, "When are you going to do your homework?" If they are having problems, figure out why. suggests Ten Commandments for Moms’ and Dads’ viz: 1. Pay attention to me. 2. Don’t substitute toys for love. 3. Be happy. 4. Treat me fairly. 5. Give me responsibilities that fit my age. 6. Let me solve my own problems. 7. Remember you’re not me and I’m not you. 8. Don’t compare me. 9. Drop your fantasies; we’re real people. 10. Love me unconditionally.

Learning in a family. Children learn about families from the time they spend in their own families. They learn about birth and caring

for another person when a new baby comes home from the hospital. They learn about loss when a family member dies. They learn about marriage and relationships by watching their mothers and fathers interact. By living in a family, children learn to share, how to stand up for their own rights, and how to love another person. Quality Parenting is in Demand but in Practice. Let you be a QUALITY PARENT today and start the Journey of Quality Parenting and It Matters!

Dheeraj Mehrotra, MS, MPhil, Ph.D(Education Management)
Principal, De Indian Public School, Rohini, Delhi (INDIA) URL: E:

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