You are on page 1of 8

Family Culture / Who Am I?

Introduction
What is Your Family Culture? Family culture is influenced by your parents or the people who raised
you and the atmosphere they brought to your life, spiritual foundations they instilled, family practices
relating to showing love and training of the children in the home, provision for education outside the
home, daily routines and expectations within your household, celebrations and ceremonies.
Your background contributes a great deal to the atmosphere you will create in your own marriage. It is
important first for you to process both the positive and negative impact your background of choices
made for you before you could choose. Then it is equally important that you share this information
with your future spouse. When you as a couple consider this information from both of your
backgrounds, you can build a better foundation of understanding and communication together as you
establish your own family culture.
The following charts will help you think about your family culture by describing your parents and
siblings and characteristics about them. Look For Patterns In All Areas. This will give you greater
understanding of your family culture and help you in relating with and praying for your family. It will
also help you understand yourself and will provide some interesting and insightful discussion with
your fiancée. Ask God to give you favour and insight.
My Parents: Fill in the information about your parents. If you do not know your parents, write about
the people who raised you.
My Father

My Mother

Name
Occupation
Spiritual Choices
Characteristics/
Personality
In what way(s) are
you like this person?

My Siblings: List your siblings in order of birth (still include siblings even if they are deceased). What
is/was their career? What kind of spiritual choices have they made (i.e.: are they born again?), what
kind of personality do they have and things that stand out about them?

Chapter One

10

Family Culture / Who Am I?

Were your parents married to each other when you were conceived? □Yes Children □No 2. How did/do your father and mother relate to each other? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 3.Name Occupation Spiritual Characteristics/ Choices Personality Spouse 1. How did/do you and your siblings relate to each other? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 4. Who was your primary caregiver? ________________________________ 5. How much meaningful time did you have as a family growing up? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Chapter One 11 Family Culture / Who Am I? .

Romans 8:28 TLB. You will be less controlled by what others think. What do you like about your family culture? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 7. What are things you do not like or would have wanted to change about your family culture? _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ Who Am I? Brief moments. bolding. When you know yourself better. a few personal choices and a handful of people leave lasting impressions on who we become. this exercise can help you understand why. When you have identified what has affected you and called it by name. Whatever you bring to light cannot haunt you in the dark. you can live with greater confidence and purpose and be a better spouse. Chapter One 12 Family Culture / Who Am I? . it begins to lose its power over you. The Stages of your Journey will not necessarily be free of pain and difficulty. (Italics. and underlining are added). If you choose to examine the excitements and challenges of your life. When you apply God’s Word and godly counsel. promises us that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans. You can find release for a fruitful life of purpose and blessing. Identifying them and then celebrating the special ones as well as dealing with the painful ones makes all the difference on how we go forward in life. you may discover and find peace with who you are. you will not stay stuck in your past. If you have gotten stuck somewhere. When you can embrace who you are: You are more likely to make wise choices. will be turned for good in your life in most amazing ways. but you will find stability as you travel on your way.6. There is so much potential for greatness in your life – regardless of your beginnings. Even the most devastating things that you present to God. our loving Heavenly Father.

7. 8. 10. This is a process that may take some time. In the column on the left with the numerals: Mark + if the event was positive or – if it was negative. review them. You will then plot your life on the chart in 10 year increments. Chapter One 13 Family Culture / Who Am I? . If there is something that you do not feel comfortable writing down on paper. Be as creative as you like. There are some leading thoughts and questions below that will help you as you put your Life Map together.Life Mapping You are going to create your own Life Map. identify 10 events that impacted you deeply. 3. 9. Ask the Lord to lead you and to bring to your mind important things that should be included. You may want to continue adding to your story as you think of things later. Ten Defining Moments that have Shaped Your Life In the search to understand who you are at this time. but you now see how God has used them for your good? The Event Your Age Your Comment 1. This is a map that shows the journey you have taken from birth to this point in your life. When you are done. 2. 5. Are there any patterns in what has impacted you? How have you been affected? Were any of these moments negative at the time. 4. Include anything and everything that comes to mind. 6. consider using a symbol instead.

7. Mark (+) if the person’s impact has been positive or (– ) if it has been negative. 4.Seven Critical Choices that have Shaped Your Life Have you made good choices in your life? Do you understand why you made the choice and what you can do to protect yourself in the future if a choice was bad? Do not forget to mark + if the choice proved to be positive or – if it was negative. 5. 3. 4. 3. Chapter One 14 Family Culture / Who Am I? . 2. 2. The Person and Their Impact Your Age Your Comment 1. 6. The Choice Your Age Your Comment 1. 5. Five Key People that have Shaped Your Life These are people whose influence affected the direction of your life either positively or negatively.

Chapter One 15 Family Culture / Who Am I? .

Chapter One 16 Family Culture / Who Am I? .

What are your thoughts about a career? Are you satisfied with your direction? How will marriage affect this? 6. masturbation. Take time to cut off any negative patterns you see that you would not want to carry on to your new family. What are your strengths and abilities? What are your weaknesses and liabilities? These include character qualities as well as skills and talents. Let your partner ask questions or make comments. How do you relate these strengths and weaknesses to your family background? 4. Where are you in your sexual life? How are you controlling it? Are you sexually active. How do you evaluate your physical appearance? What can be changed or improved and what must you learn to accept and live with? 5. Be sure you listen and respond with care and love. Your honesty and openness in sharing both the positive and negative. Remember. Take turns sharing your Family Culture and Life Maps with each other. Chapter One 17 Family Culture / Who Am I? . 1. Make sure you keep what is shared between you in confidence and do not share with friends or family unless you’ve both agreed first.Heart to Heart It may be difficult for you to share some of your background with your partner and equally difficult to listen to some of theirs. What patterns do you see in your family (both negative and positive)? 3. the joy and the pain will mean a stronger foundation for you as a couple. or involved in pornography. whatever you bring to light cannot haunt you in the dark. 2. See what insights they might have. What is your spiritual status? Do you believe you are stuck or growing? What are you personally doing to keep growing? What ministry/church activities are you involved in? 8. etc? Do you need help in any of these areas? Prayer Time: Thank God for your family culture because it has helped to shape who you are.