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OUR MEDIATOR FEB

JUST SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT


The errors of the past accentuated by

may arise to an ODR service. The in-

other limitations.

troduction of IT in Arbitration is such an

But we have to forget such limitations.

innovate phase in the ODR revolution.

We can look forward to a most amia-

Cover Story related to war against liquor

ble environment

where people may

brings a rational and decisive analysis

get benefitted and this magazine Our

for the people to make them feel the

Mediator will be all the more relieved

reality of the sensibility and sensitivity.

to see that the society undergo the

It covers a detailed research and criti-

transformation which could bring them

cal study over the present liquor policy

peace and harmony.

evolved by Kerala Government and its

People have to come out of the shack-

repercussion on the society.

les. They are born to think and act so


far as they are invested with the intel-

Further I cannot conclude my page

lect that makes them distinctive. The

without making my stand clear about

characteristic feature of this issue does

our mission. As you know the Delay of

make you realize the rooms for thought,

justice is said to be denial of justice.

which we hope, may lead to review

Alternative Dispute Resolution or ADR

things, assess the situation and ana-

works out to get things done to keep

lyze the prospects.

away such delay in dispensing the justice.

Cover Story related to war


against liquor brings a rational and decisive analysis
for the people to make them
feel the reality of the sensibility and sensitivity.

The global reach of cyberspace has

Finding lasting solutions however would

engendered visions of a borderless

require a better understanding of what

marketplace emerging in which vast

the real conflicts are. Contrary to pop-

geographical distances will no longer

ular opinion, they may not just revolve

prove to be a factor deterring parties

around territory. That is the reason

from engaging in commerce. In order

for both hope and distress. Hope be-

to facilitate the complete realization

cause novel solutions could turn out to

of such visions, however, Internet us-

be workable, and distress, because at

ers must possess an ample degree of

least one of these conflicts could be-

confidence that an effective avenue of

come worse with the passage of time.

redress exists should a dispute arise


during the course of an electronic
transaction. However, resorting to tra-

Editor

ditional courts to seek redress for online disputes is not a feasible option in
most cases. It is in this context that the
topic of online dispute resolution (ODR)
becomes critically important. Parties
involved in an online transaction can
elect to place a term in the contract
governing their relationship that binds
them to submit any disagreement that

MEERZA ZAHEER

HAPPY DAYS

February
2015

10
Riots & Resolution
EXPERIMENTING WITH MARRIAGE

06

PREFACE

11

EXPERIMENTING WITH MARRIAGE

21

TREAT, THREAT OR TRICK


A WAR ON LIQUOR

46

INTRODUCTION OF IT IN ARBITRAL PROCEEDINGS

58

LAWYERS & ADR

18

Chief & Managing Editor

Meerza Zaheer

Editor Consultant

Joshy George

Sub Editor
Chief Operating Officer
Head Research Group

Seena Huzain
Prakash K. Pillai
Adv. Rajesh, Emirate Advocates,
Dubai
Jamie Pennings(USA)
Adv. Aliyar,
N.Gopinathan, Inspire- Creations
Vinu Kumar,
Abdul Razack (UAE)
Adv. Manuel Vivera
Mopesang Valath
Garcia M.T.Gopalakrishnan

Research Associates

64
70

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN

Marketing Consultant
Marketing Operations

PERSPECTIVE OF A MEDIATOR

TREAT, THREAT OR TRICK


A WAR ON LIQUOR

Legal Advisor
Artist Visualizer
Layout & Design
Courtesy (first issue)

OUR PATRONS
Justice P.K Shamsuddin
Sebastian Paul Ex MP
Siddique (Cine Director)
Prof. David Larson(ODR Hamline
University St Paul,USA)
Ernest Theissan (CEO,iCan Systems Inc, Vancoever, Canada
Editorial Contacts :
Senate Legis, 36/1420 A3, Al-Fia
Building,
Opp. RBI, Lissie Jn, Kochi
682018
Tel: 0484-657 5060, Mob: +918592076060
509, 5th Floor, Barton Center,
M.G.Road, Bangalore - 560009
Subscription Email Address:
mediatoraffair@gmail.com
info@ mediatoraffair.com

PREFACE

It is a well publicized truth that

and among them. i.e disputes

the dispute or even the society.

court litigation used to incur

starting from family squabbles,

These disputes are supposed

prolonged time and excessive

causing scars in the relation-

to be resolved through a secret

expenses.

ships so as to injure the struc-

and soft process. As such Al-

www.media- ture of the society , over to in- ternative Dispute Resolutions


toraffair.com takes up the dustrial and business disputes (ADR) has become an inevitaThe

portal

The significance of the vided in the portal where Ak- make possible for those who
portal (www.mediatoraf- shaya centres and other as- do not avail the services of
Akshaya Centres
sociations like Kudumbasree
fair.com)
Delivering legal as well as so-

and

residential

particularly

cial services to the society rath-

associations could take

individu-

er than connecting all the sects

the initiative to col-

als and all

local

which are enough to break even

ble process, by which the par-

of the society is the prime and

lect and bring the

types

the devel-

ties could claim an award from

important responsibility of this

disputes from their

business

the court of law with an

portal.

respective

jurisdic-

establish-

to the authorized

amicable

agreement

Usually while you gets involved

tions to a common

ments, in-

Non Governmental

getting reached after

in any type of dispute, automat-

platform in the form

dustries,

Agencies (NGOs)

evaluating and weigh-

ically you may resort to court

of a portal. In the Ak-

corpo-

and they in return

ing the options gen-

litigation. But you experience

shaya segment of

rate etc..

bent on resolving

erated by the parties

disturbing moments during the

the portal, the login

In

the disputes and

themselves.

trial extending to such situa-

details like user id and

segment,

upon reaching an

If the above described

tions where you identity is in

password are being served

agreement

the

justice is our prima-

crisis apart from the expensive

to each Akshaya entrepreneur

sions for submitting more

parties are duly

ry goal, the ultimate

and time consuming litigation.

who is supposed to take the ini-

cases or disputes all around

granted with le-

final goal would be

gally

enforce-

a creation of dispute

www.mediatoraffair.com tiative to provide the portal with the society. So far Akshaya

able

award

issues or disputes that may


used to crop up in
the

society

over

there

are

of

ADR
provi-

is an interactive and performing

all the details about the parties

has no presence in other states

free society by elim-

site.

to the dispute and cause of ac-

of India, the disputes from oth-

from the court

inating all the evils

The portal is groomed in such

tion along with the entire mat-

er parts of India shall use ADR

of law with ju-

of the societies like

a fashion so as to facilitate the

ter concerning the issues. The

segment to register their dis-

risdictional com-

egoistic attitudes of

visitors getting all the informa-

details are being channelized

putes to get them resolved ei-

petence.

human beings, ani-

tion about realising justice by

and respective NGOs or ADR

ther by means of ADR or ODR.

Reaching ultimate goals

opment of these sectors and

mosity etc. Hence for attaining

resorting to alternative methods

Forums would serve the notic-

Apart from the services for sub-

We are human beings. Disputes

ultimately damaging economic

such dispute free society, you

other than expensive and time

es to the concerned in order to

mitting the cases or disputes

and conflicts used to occur

prospects of the nation these

need not go after litigations to

consuming court litigations.

summon them for resolution of

this segment provides a lot of

among men during the course

issues shall not be dragged to

obtain justice but you rather re-

As laid down above in the ob-

their disputes.

updated information about the

of their day to day transac-

a court of law so far as such

sort to the ADR processes as

jectives of the project, the

The subsequent ADR seg-

alternative dispute resolution

tions and interactions between

move would affect the parties to

well.

Menu Akshaya is being pro-

ment provided in the portal to

mechanisms like Arbitration,


OUR MEDIATOR FEB

Mediation, Negotiation etc. The

disputes resolved within min-

mium Skype so far it is free and

TWO. The software MASS TWOs services are infinite and it can

other key element in the seg-

utes or accordingly with the

userfree.

extend its vibrant attitude towards resolving all types of civil cases

ment is Training. The goal of

schedule of their convenience.

ODR Resolution Center also

consisting of social. Business national and international, industrial,

the project will not get achieved

ODR segment in the portal

dare to confront the challenges

corporate and even bi-nation or multination conflicts (which are

unless there are provisions for

recognizes the clients initial

in the area of e-negotiation by

used to be resolved under the initiative of UN)

training in respect of the afore-

intricacies while dealing with

adopting an advanced technical

MASS TWO can do what human minds alone cannot- model the

said mechanisms like arbitra-

this strange dispute resolution

approach through the means of

problem, manage preference information, and quickly optimize

tion, mediation, negotiation etc.

tool and hence an unambigu-

two software under the brand

solutions. The software supports an unlimited number of quan-

The syllabi, schedule and itin-

ous feature is being detailed

and title of MASS ONE and

titative or qualitative issues between any number of parties in

erary of the programs coming

so as to bring the clients into

MASS TWO. These two soft-

any combination of real-time and asynchronous negotiations,

under the section of training will

confidence. The procedure are

ware can handle any disputes

be published shortly and it will

shrewdly organized where a cli-

of civil nature and the Indian

Much more than simply providing the functionality of spreadsheets and calculators, the software

be managed by the promoters

ent facing issues or likely to con-

laws are customised in respect

MASS TWO captures the complexities of real-world situations and provides a practical real-time

of the project- Senate Legis.

front with issues in future can

of the agreements and other

tool that modern negotiators, mediators, arbitrators, businesses and governments alike have hither-

The next category of service

avail an ODR Club membership

documentations. The software

to only dreamed of. The introduction of settlement to agreement building, deal making and dispute

which invites attention is noth-

by paying a certain amount of

MASS ONE is proposed to

resolution can be likened to the advent of CAD software (replacing pencil and paper) for engineers

ing but ODR or online dispute

fee and he will be abided by

undertake the low value dis-

and architects, to model complex structures and develop better plans.

resolution which has not been

the rules and procedure as laid

putes, debt resolutions, ecom-

The two measures of a good agreement resulting out of resolution process by means of the software

that much popular in India even

down in the concerned page

merce disputes etc. Unless the

MASS TWO are EQUITY and EFFICIENCY. Equity has to do with fairness, i.e., how benefits are

though three or four major play-

and in case he does have any

resolution takes place inspite

divided among the parties. This decision, of course, must be determined by the parties themselves.

ers adopted ODR as their dis-

dispute he can file the case with

of repeated e-negotiations, the

However, the software facilitates this by simultaneously revealing acceptable solutions. Once the

pute resolution tool. The portal

ODR Resolution Centre so that

clients can seek the assistance

Equity problem is solved, software can focus on efficiency, which has to do with the total quantity of

focuses mainly on delivering

his opposite party may also be

of an automated arbitrator or

benefits. The software MASS TWOs objective is to make sure no value is left on the table at the

resolutions by means of on-

invited to take part in the pro-

Dampened Pendulum Arbitra-

end of the process.

ONLINE

cess (non-confrontational am-

tor whose subsequent decision

The other related segment is MIND MASTERY. The online and offline methods of psychologi-

DISPUTE RESOLUTIONS
(ODR) which even facilitates

biance). The documents will be

in respect of the disputes would

cal attempts in respect of transition of traits which facilitates the mitigating of stubborn attitudes of

collected from the parties tak-

be final.

The other software

certain individuals which adversely affects the ADR (mediation) process, tackling the social issues

the mobile phone users by in-

ing part in the resolution pro-

MASS TWO is more potential

mainly in respect of present day phenomenon like divorce (about providing online training to the

stalling an application in their

cess to be considered to meet

and it is equipped with different

parties to the marriages and online and offline counselling in respect of pre-marital and post-marital

smart phones and tablets to get

with the requirements expected

types of routes like packages

hitches), enhancing memory and children empowerment etc under the MIND MASTERY pages.

their

to support the resolutions and

which could be meant to be an

The choice is yours

a schedule is fixed for hearing

alternative among options and

It is left to you. The issues without the criminal colour can be adopted for such alternative resolution

and as such ODR Resolution

the choice is left to the parties

process.

Center will get active and

and the same mechanism that

It is an assured fact that Justice will be at your doorstep.

clients are left with the

is being built in MASS ONE

option of choosing their

like final e-negotiation and ul-

Please visit:

favourite

videoconfer-

timately Dampened Pendulum

encing software. The

Arbitration are also being incor-

www.mediatoraffair.com

default software is Pre-

porated in the software MASS

line

technologies

whether face-to-face or over great distances, anywhere on Earth.

Gateway to Equity & justice


OUR MEDIATOR FEB

is taking time to
heal the shock).
Isaac an ardent fan

EXPERIMENTING WITH
MARRIAGE

at the characters of the hero


and heroine.
Isaac is an easy going character, beauty conscious but

of Nayan Thara, a South Indi-

hot tempered and does nt

an Celebrity finds his nayans

mind flirting with girls most of

in Aisha and when she is being

them belong to his old class

spotted by Isaacs elder sister

mates and his friends from his

saac, a Muslim boy hailing

Shazia,

from Kothamangalam, Er-

has no second

nakulam District, 25 years old

thoughts but to

good looking, highly talented,

tie knots asap.

professionally strong working in

Aisha is also

Wipro, Infopark in Kochi found

working in a

himself right for a marriage,

BPO firm in

where his family did nt seek

the outskirts

a bride from outside the family

of the city.

but resorted to a good-looking

Before we

girl Aisha, one year younger

go to the

to Isaac, from within their fam-

facts and

ily and that too very close to

the details

Isaacs paternal side, residing

of the

in Kochi city. Aisha though she

dispute,

is one year younger to Isaac,

it is ideal

she appears to be very young

to have

and beautiful. (She lost her fa-

brief

ther recently and his demise

digging

Isaac

present professional circle.

He does not want to lose his

ion where Aisha shall dance to

and his girl companions. But

relationship with those friends

his tunes whims and fancies.

she did nt react and coun-

even after the marriage. He

Aisha on the other hand do

tered further meetings with

maintains the relationship by

not have any such pre-oc-

Isaac with the same style not

means of the applications pro-

cupations in her mind, but

giving anything away without

vided in his smart phone.

her reluctance or withdrawal

any emotions. But to Isaac it

Aisha on the other hand, very

tendencies that she has been

was all torturing. Aisha could

conservative and religious

nursing all through her life till

not yield to a makeover in

least bothered about the beau-

her marriage did not permit

an overnight as against the

ty and dislike boys and girls

her to behave freely with her

expectation of Isaac. His initial

flirting with each other. She is

husband even though he is not

bedroom scenes were quite

calm but loose temper when

strange to her at all. Isaac was

dry. As days passed by Aishas

she cannot adjust with some-

adjustable at the beginning

impassiveness failed to take a

thing upon which she keep res-

and he even let her

ervations. Unlike

stimulate the spirits

the girls of her age,

of the marriage.

she has got some

Isaac bitten by the

reservations about

desperation started

the marriage may

losing patience. He

be because she has

even made some

been nursing a little

attempts to beat

bit fear psychosis

her. Aisha though

to that effect which

passive in all her

could have been

attitudes while

eliminated with the

sparing time with

help of a mediocre

was shocking to her and she


OUR MEDIATOR FEB

10

sharp turn so as to

take time to

her husband, respectfully ad-

better-half.

undergo the transformation

mires her husband. The matter

Now we can enter into the av-

in her. He even avoided calls

concerned is that she used to

enue witnessing the disputes

from his regular female bud-

be unsuccessful to be preten-

between the young spouses.

dies during the night time and

tious in her appearances as

Normally brides have more

kept his flirting attitudes at

well in as her activities.

dreams comparatively. In this

bay. Though Isaac has been

The high drama is that even by

case bride-groom, Isaac have

avoiding such calls during the

the end of third month these

certain dreams about his wife

night time in the presence of

couple have been ineffective in

which he felt could be realised

Aisha, one day Aisha unfor-

respect of sexual relationship.

easily and he believed that

tunately happened to see his

This might be due to Aishas

everything is within his control

mobile gallery where there are

reluctance and Isaacs aggres-

and power. So he has started

photographs showing intimate

siveness. So there is absolute-

his conjugal life in such a fash-

scenes between her husband

ly no room for harmonizing this


OUR MEDIATOR FEB

11

relationship.

some of the close relatives

Aisha behaved indifferently in

with Aisha.

Father where she admitted

During the last three months

also close to Isaacs family

the beginning of the conjugal

When Isaac approached the

her mistakes and she didnt

prior to them go for separation,

took initiative in convincing

life but there is great extent

mosque Jamaath authorities

find fault with Isaac (may

Isaac started ploying with the

Isaac, but it went futile. But

of transformation to the effect

seeking the divorce from Ai-

be still nursing doubts about

fantasies of romancing (with

the whole society was against

of her attitude on separation

sha, the committee also moved

the Isaacs inclination to-

his female companions). Aisha

Isaacs attitude so far it was

and it was found that Aisha

against Isaac for his childish

wards flirting with girls). But

realised these fanciful desires

only 7th month and those

has been repenting against

attitude and his disrespect for

on other hand Isaac bent on

of her husband and she gained

period was very limited for a

her behaviour during those

a sanctified conjugal life bless-

blaming Aisha for the broken

some strength to seek ex-

girl like Aisha to get accus-

periods. Even her subjugation

ed with divinity.

relationship and he further

planations from her husband

tomed with a

to Isaacs physical

Finally a close common rel-

disclosed to Father that there

which ultimately

torment without any

ative of Aisha and Isaac, to

is no room for compromise

agitated Isaac

retaliation itself was

whom Isaac is much obliged in

and he wanted an early

and he started

the reflection of her

respect of his pursuing higher

divorce. Father reprimanded

torturing Ai-

being affectionate

education, talked to Isaac in

Isaac for his indifference and

sha physically.

towards her hus-

this connection. Though Isaac

callous attitude and cautioned

Isaacs intoler-

band. The moment

was reluctant in accepting

him that he is in a way respon-

ance inspired

she left Isaac she

the relatives terms in the first

sible to the great Almighty who

him to take cud-

felt that she was

instance, finally yielded to the

has blessed their marriage and

gels against his

loving Isaac to

formers request to come in

the society who have gathered

spouse apart from

her heart and she

terms with him in respect of

there to witness and solemnize

his high quality

felt sorry that she

visiting a Clergy man who is in

the occasion. But Isaac paid

flirtations with girl

could not make

charge of counselling centre in

no heeds to his Fathers pre-

friends. The phys-

her heart open

Puthukad, Trichur District joint-

monition. The Father recom-

ical torturing of

to him while they

ly with Aisha. The counselling

mended for a second session.

Aisha has become

were together.

was held continuously for two

But it also went futile.

consistent state of

Appreciating Ai-

days. Aisha was free to talk to

Hence Isaac has been despi-

affairs in the cou-

shas stance, the

ples bedroom.

family members

Aisha is wholehearted-

One day this physi-

of both have

ly praying and looking

cal torment afflicted

started persuad-

forward to have reunion

cably trying for a divorce while

with Isaac. What a

ing and requesting

by Isaac on Aisha

the

happened to see by Aishas

new and strange environment

Isaac to provide Aisha one

strange Arithmetic?

relative and automatically they

and moreover some mobile

more chance. But in turn Isaac

RESOLUTION

could nt help witnessing such

images reflecting some sexual

was totally against such move

The issue is very serious.

scene led them to bring Aisha

flirtations of Isaac and his girl

and he outrightly rejected all

The relationship between

back her home. It was the road

friends could draw a black scar

and every persuasions even

spouses is almost on the

to the end.

in her heart. Even family mem-

from his elder brother and

verge of a split or brink of

Aishas immaturity quite wor-

bers and society have started

mother. His sister was only

separation.

ried her family members and

realising that even though

with him to hurl the relationship

Analytical Study

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

12

Here
in this case, the couple entered the conjugal life without
knowing the sacredness and
the inviolability of the institution of the marriage. They
dont mind dare calling off their
relationship in haste as if they
were just throwing away some
vegetables or articles which
they dislike. Aisha became
quite understanding when she
realised that some dire consequences have started confronting her. Aisha never thought in
the beginning that she would
be thrown away only because
of her immature and indifferent
attitude but it was true that
she learnt things quite slowly
and she has started remoulded her role of a wife and the
love and the affection she
already having in her mind for
her husband Isaac is more and
enough to cope up with the
situations. But unfortunately
OUR MEDIATOR FEB

13

she was not well read by her

taking cudgels against his wife

high influence over one of the

Income Tax Officer in Trichur

and younger one 6 years.

plight. Even while Mahesh was

husband and she was tossed.

and he was bent on settling

spouses wife.

District, is quite comfortable

Meanwhile Preethi complet-

living happily with his family,

On the other hand Isaac is

the scores with her by chatting,

Mahesh Ratnakar who basi-

under the regime of his wife

ed her post graduation and

this woman tried her best to

silly. He is rather immature and

talking with his girl friends in

cally hails from a Vishwakar-

Kanaka who is also a govern-

teaching course. Mahesh was

make the couple separated.

childish. From the causes of

the presence of his wife and

ma community entered into

ment servant, but possessing

little bit expensive in his life

But Mahesh patiently tack-

the dispute, it is crystal clear

he even not deleted his pho-

jewellery business after his

all character and quality of a

style and unfortunately for him

led all these valiant efforts of

that he has scant respect for

tographs dealing with girls

graduation and the business

male and capable of making

he expended a huge fraction

this evil woman. But as his

the institution of marriage. If

intimately to serve the purpose

was flourishing in the initial

her husband dance to her

of returns from his business to-

business got wounded up, he

he was so, definitely he would

of annoying his wife.

stages. Mahesh is very charm-

whims and fancies. Preethi

wards share market which had

became broken and automat-

Suggestions for a

ing and it is not an impossible

does nt have a brother and

been booming like anything in

ically became violent in his

right resolution

task for him to lure girls during

she has an elder sister who

the early phase of twenty first

reactions. Even though Preethi

There is a need to

his college days and he was

got already married. Maheshs

century. Unfortunately against

tried to understand her hus-

take the spouses,

fanciful in dealing with such

father came under the assess-

Maheshs expectation the

band, but she was persuaded

Isaac in particular

folks. During his happy young

ment that so far as the lack

by her mother to proceed

to psycho analytical

days he met with his destiny

of a male progeny among

against him. Preethi could not

counselling cen-

when he happened to meet

the children there are more

escape or run away from the

tres to extract their

a girl who was also doing

tendencies for the eruption

influence of her mother so far

inherent and hid-

her graduation in his college

of troubles once his son got

as her preference for mother

den desires and if

but as a three years junior

engaged to that family. But

prevails over her husband.

Isaac is found to be

and her name is Preethi. Her

against the advice of his fa-

Poor children they were not

have taken Aishas altered

camouflage, there is no room

sweetness had conquered

ther Mahesh proceeded to get

aware of the conflict between

attitude earnestly and accept-

for reconciliation and if he is

Maheshs heart and he auto-

married with Preethi. As any

their parent coming as a result

ed her sincerely. It is a matter

sincere but pretending there

matically threw his lot with her

father Ratnakar did nt over-

of the wicked attitude of their

of seven months and the time

are possibilities for settlement.

and ironically for his happiness

look his sons desires and his

grandmother.

has not ripened for blossom-

Latest Report

she also belongs to Vishwa-

wife also supported Maheshs

The events took a sudden

ing of the relationship. During

In the latest information

karma segment. He never had

move. From Preethis side,

turn, this time enough to break

these period the couple may

brought by our reporters, both

a second thought in marrying

they were too much excited to

a family. As Maheshs father

have opportunities to under-

spouses have resorted to

her so far as the girl offered

get associated with a reputed

bedridden and his mother not

stand with each other and they

divorce.

her love for him. But his father

and economically strong family

share market went down and

well, Preethi left for her home

got an adverse report about

of Mahesh. These attitudes led

Mahesh lost huge sum. This

under the pretext that she was

the girls family and he plainly

to

brought calamity in Maheshs

heading for doing her profes-

opposed his sons proposal for

riage of Mahesh and Preethi.

family. The jewellery business

sional course in teaching after

Preethi. It is learnt later that

The initial spell of marriage

went peril and it was closed

her post graduate course. But

may take give and take policy


to maintain the relationship
and make it a bondage. Un-

PLOY TO SET A HAPPY


FAMILY ABLAZE

fortunately Isaac tested her

the mar-

bride for the first three months

This report is extracted from

Maheshs father got informa-

was wonderful, succeeded by

incurring a great extent of

the move of Preethi was totally

and became fed up with her

an issue related to conflict

tion about Preethis family that

second and even third and

liabilities. Preethis mothers

ignorant to Mahesh and when

attitude. There could have

resulting out not because of

even though it is said to be

fourth spell. It went for thirteen

attitude became indifferent to-

he was informed of this fact by

been several ways to build the

the indifferences from the

led by her father Kesava Das

long years. In between Pree-

wards Mahesh and she started

her elder daughter adding fuel

relationship slowly and steadi-

part of the spouses but from

and providing such impression

thi gave birth to two girls. The

blaming him for her daugh-

to fire he came to know that

ly. While Isaac has started

somebody who have got a

to the public, working as the

elder one became 12 years

ters and grand childrens sad

his wife wont be coming back

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

14

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

15

soon, but to pursue her profes-

Mahesh left with the agony of

he at last found a company

within days. Preethi sought a

Plus Two she started pursuing

medicine course. But the boy

sional degree hence she will

the death of his father after his

of his friend in Ernakulam to

relief of Fifteen Lakhs against

training courses for Medical

is more than 30 years and his

be in her home for coming two

wife deserted him. The trage-

accept a career in Real Estate.

the cost of gold and jewellery

entrance coaching. Mahesh is

parents are very much particu-

years. Mahesh lost temper.

dy occurred one after another

In the meanwhile too he tried

which Mahesh hypothecated

also looking forward to see his

lar to see he shall get married

He never imagined of Preethi

for him. As the elder daughter

to persuade his wife to come

when they were happily living

daughter is bagging this pres-

with an immediate effect. But

taking such a drastic step of

who was staying with him, his

back. In turn he was chided by

and other damages along with

tigious degree which would

Preethi and her mother sup-

deserting him and their chil-

mother advised him to take her

her and her mother and it too

compensation in the family

also be a honour for him.

port and encourage Maheshs

dren and over and above when

to her mother Preethi so long

happened whenever he tried to

court. Mahesh was not in a

But unfortunately against his

elder daughters romance.

his parents were ailing. Ma-

as she is a grown up girl and

get in touch with his daughters.

position to meet with such

desires, his daughter started

Finding Mahesh not yielding

hesh knew the root cause of

Mahesh cannot look after her

One Sunday he with his friend

requirements and he fought

a romance with a boy one of

to their request the father of

all these disastrous attitudes of

carefully like a mother. Ma-

visited his wifes house so as

more vigorously using his

their relatives and the father of

the boy created a ploy and

his wife is her mother possess-

hesh sent his elder daughter

to make apologies to Preethi

efficient friend lawyer. Hence

the boy is very much friendlier

persuaded Preethi to send a

ing whimsical character and

to Preethi accordingly. At the

and her mother. But unfortu-

the case dragged in the family

to Mahesh. During their talk to

divorce notice to Mahesh.

bent on separating his wife

same time Mahesh continued

nately the apology affair turned

court for full one and half years

RESOLUTIONS

from him. Immediately Ma-

pleaded to his wife to come

into an event which had drawn

with counselling and trials have

The case sounds little bit

hesh with his second daughter

back and lead a happy family

a heavy scar in their conjugal

become their routine affair. At

called on his wife in her house

life. But she did nt yield to his

relationship. When he was

last with somebodys ad-

and Preethi was crying when

requests. She got a job after

about to seek apology from his

vice Preethi withdrew the

Mahesh angrily interacted

she completed her profession-

mother-in-law, she teased him

case and it was a much

should undergo a practi-

with her. Preethi was keeping

al course as a High School

that so far he was a pauper he

relief for Mahesh.

cal counselling sessions

silence and her mother as if

Mathematics teacher. She had

Mahesh did nt give up.

or she should have

she were talking for her daugh-

started earning a sumptuous

of Preethi and

Whenever he gets time

treated by her husband

ter shouted at Mahesh. He

sum enough to look after her

termed him

he used to visit his wife

or her daughters. Unless

also exchanged strong words

children. Mahesh

as a clown

in her school and tried to

running

convince her. Preethi though

which could never

wants the money

taken back.

after the in-

Preethi au-

come of Preethi

psychic so far as Maheshs


mother in law being
swayed away and she

and until she gets a shock


(not treatment) in respect

she has been loving him, could

of some events or episodes,

not make her mind to favour

there is no possibility of herself

tomatically

for his livelihood .

Mahesh so far as he had

the effect

made herself

These were much

caused a scar in the relation-

affair and the boys father is

termed as a senseless wom-

available for

enough to provoke

ship. Hence she used to cry

very much interested to see

an so far as she is ridiculous

supporting

Mahesh and he

whenever Mahesh insisted her

this marriage is taking place.

in supporting her mother to

her moth-

gave a heavy blow

to join him and he cautioned

But Mahesh has been insisting

proceed against her husband

er. Mahesh

to his mother-

that the children would be loos-

that his elder daughter shall

and spoil the marital relation-

was taken

in-law and as a

ing their happy childhood days.

pursue her studies and get

ship. She was not aware of the

aback. He left

result she was

But there was no result.

an academic maturity. He is

fact that she is also becoming

his younger

hospitalised. This

The following recent episode

not opposed to this boy and

a strong element in making her

paved a way for Mahesh ac-

took Mahesh by surprise. His

proposal but he is ready to

mother more psychic. Hence

daughter with

of this

getting cured. Preethi could be

his wife and he

was totally left alone with his

cepting a divorce notice from

elder daughter is only 19 years

engage his daughter to this

Preethi should be advised by

turned back remorse stricken.

mother. His life was boring and

his wife Preethi immediately

and after having completed

boy sooner she completes her

somebody she respects or a

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

16

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

17

doctor to keep away from her

wife till Preethi left her hus-

she realised that her father is

mother to the effect of relation-

bands house.)

opposing her marriage with

ship with her husband and take

Hence as a skilled Mediator,

her lover. Mahesh has decided

her mother for some treatment

Preethi could be summoned

to accept the reality and he

which could be only thing that

along with her father and they

decided to let his wife and his

can rescue their family. Her

should be advised as above.

children do what they want. He

detachment from her moth-

Latest Report

no more wants to be a barrier

er could bring shock to her

Unfortunately things took a

in their life. He told his friend

mother and the distancing of

different turn.

lawyer that he did nt want to

her daughter from Kanaka

Mahesh felt like he was com-

take part in the proceedings

(Preethis mother) may lead

pacted. He does no longer

of the trial- providing room for

to realise Kanakas indifferent

wants the disgrace to get

ex-parte decree which may

attitude and that may lead to

continued. Hence he became

facilitate Preethi to get away

a transformation of character

determined to face the wrath of

from the nuptial knot. So that

in Kanaka. This could bring

his fate. He is ready to accept

his elder daughter can marry

an amicable solution to the

the divorce. He has decided

her beloved boy without any

strained relationship of Ma-

to leave his family for good.

hindrances but at the cost of

hesh and Preethi. (Ironically

He understood that his elder

a happy family life.

there were no serious differ-

daughter started disliking

ences between husband and

converse with him so far as

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

18

COVER STORY

TREAT, THREAT OR TRICK

T
I am impressed with the Chief
Ministers stand on a contentious issue like this... The step
taken by the Chief Minister despite the criticism by vested
interests and lobbies - I would
like to place on record my appreciation for the chief minister, Mr Harsh Vardhan, Union
Health Minister remarked.

homas, the Apostle, vis-

to place on record my appreci-

ited an outpost in distant

ation for the chief minister, Mr

Malabar across the sea

Harsh Vardhan, Union Health

and proselytised. He spoke of

Minister remarked.

Christs miracles. He walked

Over the years, Kerala has

on water. Malayalees were not

earned a reputation of being

impressed. He made a dead

one of the top liquor consuming

man walk. Mallus yawned. He

states in the country.

turned water into wine. Galvanised, one-third of the audience

Trouble Maker

converted to Christianity. The

Although Kerala does not rank

story is, of course, a joke. But it

at the top of the heap of States

serves to underline the visceral

in per capita liquor consump-

bond the people of Kerala have

tion, the general consumption

had with this elixir of exhilara-

levels have been showing dis-

tion from ancient times. That

turbing trends in recent years.

state, with one of the highest

Most worrying, the average

per-capita consumption figures

age of drinkers has been falling

for alcohol in the country, is now

steadily in the State, the age

poised to walk the path of pro-

of initiation into drinking falling

hibition, if you believe the gov-

from 18-19 in the 1980s to 14 or

ernment of Kerala. (Economic

less now, despite a legal bar on

Times in their Editorial)

selling liquor to the under-aged.


At 8.3 litres, the state has the

I am impressed with the Chief

highest per capita consumption

Ministers stand on a conten-

of alcohol in the country. And

tious issue like this... The step

even this figure, say activists,

taken by the Chief Minister - de-

is outdated. More than that,

spite the criticism by vested in-

there is growing evidence of

terests and lobbies - I would like

alcoholism amongst school-go-

ing children. Thirteen-year-olds

ties by the influence of

have started walking into bars,

the consumption of li-

stuffing their uniform in their

quor.Apart from above,

school bag and downing pegs

alarming figures in re-

of hard liquor. The first use of

spect of deaths, deadly

alcohol has shifted to early

deceases, motor vehi-

adolescence and its use while

cle accidents as a result

in school has been increasing

of the great extent of

over the last five years. Many

the consuming of liquor

students go out during their

have become chronic

break in groups to get a drink.

phenomena in the state

The social acceptance that

of Kerala.

drinking has received is a key

In the State crime is

factor for this as is the easy

shooting up. Police records

availability of alcohol.

show that last year, 617 wom-

At present Kerala claims the first

en were raped, up from 500 in

place in the alcohol consump-

2007. This year threatens to

tion leaving behind Punjab and

be even worse. In the first six

tion of liquor is almost twice

crime rate is higher than the na-

of the national average. The

tional average, as is the suicide

concerned survey has reported

rate (with just about 3 percent

that even the kids of 13 years

of the countrys population, it

of age have started consuming

accounts for 10 percent of all

liquor and even the women folk

suicides, according to the Na-

also have found their solace in

tional Crime Records Bureau).

liquor. This attitude has started

Drawing room conversations

driving the family institutions to

invariably turn to youngsters

undergo the healing in the form

joining gangs to make money.

of damage control. The ultimate

Then there is alcoholism; its

things happened as a result of

effects are everywhere: Road

the obsession for liquor in the

accidents, domestic violence,

society are something awful

street fights.

Thirteen-year-olds
have
started walking into bars,
stuffing their uniform in their
school bag and downing
pegs of hard liquor.

breakdown. They say hospitals


and rehabilitation centres are
packed with patients suffering
from alcohol-related diseases.

A New Liquor Policy in the


offing
Goa. The ironical fact is that months alone, there have been
Tackling the dreadful menshare per individual consump- more than 540 rapes. Keralas
ace
Announcing a 10-year plan that
would bring prohibition to Kerala, Mr Chandy said last month
that over 700 bars across the
state will have to shut down,
adding that only five-star hotels
would be allowed to keep serving booze and even they will
have go dry on Sundays.
According to the governments
plans, state-run liquor stores,
where men queue up for their
daily fix, will be phased out at

the stories being published in


daily medias about the slaying

Doctors and activists have

of kiths and kins. Youngsters

highlighted

are being led to illegal deeds

abuse, blaming it for many road

like anti social- mafia activi-

accidents and even marital

rising

alcohol

a rate of ten percent a year for


the next decade, leaving a big
hole in the state coffers after
alcohol taxes and fees generated more than $1 billion or
OUR MEDIATOR FEB

21

Rs. 6,000 crore in the 2012-13

the people.

financial year.

from the beverages corporation

the other big casualty could be

them and so is wine. They dont

tourists, making it a strong

will be expended towards the

the tourism sector, which gen-

even consider it as a alcohol.

competitor.

Liquor sale outlets and bars in

Also, 10 per cent of the retail

rehabilitation purpose. Apart

erates an income of over Rs

But the hoteliers who protest

With the on+ set of prohibition

Kerala will remain closed on all

outlets will be closed each year.

from this Government also

20,000 crore and provides em-

against the prohibition argues

to a certain extent, the Con-

Sundays beginning on Sunday

Hence by the year 2030 Gov-

expects contribution from the

ployment to a million people.

that regardless of their person-

federation of Tourism Industry

ernment aims at

public to this effect. 1% of the

Kerala has few other indus-

al preferences, a tourist should

(Kerala region) reacted sharp-

total pro-

total revenue will be spent to-

tries, apart from the services

be offered a choice of drinks,

ly against the new liquor poli-

h i -

wards providing awareness to

sector, and the state attracted

which is what hospitality is all

cy and confirmed that the new

the drunkards.

over 15 million tourists last year

about. Other main concern is

policy would have serious and

and revenue of over Rs 20,000

that they will not find it easy to

adverse impact on the tourism

crore in 2012-13. The proposed

convince the tourist about the

sector and wanted the govern-

ban may hit tourism in the

dry days as they prefer India

ment to formulate an indus-

state. Kerala is the state which

over other Gulf countries so far

try-friendly policy. It is observed

attracts the highest number of

they enjoy freedom down here.

that the sectors like Conference

as part of the Congress-led


UDF Governments liquor policy which
seeks to lead
the
to

state

Casualities arising out of


the new liquor policy in
the state

total

prohibition
within
a de-

After the state government

tourists in India.

They dont even use Saudi Air-

Tourism would be largely hit by

cade.

refused to renew 418 bar

While it is common knowledge

ways for the same reason. Ac-

the new policy, as the Sunday

licences on the report of

that hard liquor is a staple for

cording to the hoteliers, prohi-

has been declared as dry-day

Under

the Comptroller & Auditor

most tourists from other states

bition is not a part of a civilized

it will no doubt affect the Con-

the new

General found them substan-

of India, the situation is appar-

state and a ban will kill tourism

ference Tourism as majority of

p o l i c y,

dard, the subsequent proposal

ently different with foreigners.

for sure.

conferences and meetings are

nearly 400

for the closure of the remain-

Most foreign tourists are from

retail

liquor

ing 312 bars in the state and

countries with cooler climates

As of now, the neighbouring Sri

According to them these atti-

outlets

of

bition

10 per cent of the 384 retail li-

and prefer chilled beverages,

Lanka has less than one third

tude of the government would

by

quor stores will have very real,

say those in the hospitality in-

of the annual revenue of Kerala

turn Kerala the least and last

tion, the sole distributor of In-

stage. The availabili-

far-reaching implications for a

dustry. Their preferred drink is

tourism. Taking a cue from Ker-

preferred destination for the

dian Made Foreign Liquor, will

ty of local toddy will be criteria

state which earns around 16.4

beer, not hard liquor. Around

ala and Goa, Sri

remain shut for 52 days a year.

to be considered for sanction-

per cent of its revenue (2012-

11.30-12 in the morning, when

Lanka has

ing new toddy shops. With the

13) through the sale of alcohol.

the heat goes up, they have a

been re-

Apart from Sundays, holidays

bars shutting down, the rehabil-

Alcohol retail stores in Kerala

beer or two, which is like a rou-

port-

like Gandhi Jayanthi, Sree

itation of the staff has become

are run exclusively by state-

tine for them. And with dinner,

edly

Nayarayana Guru birth anni-

an inevitable obligation on the

owned Beverages Corporation

most tourists prefer wine as an

ers associ-

versary and Good Friday are

part of the Government. As

and Consumerfed. In 2012-13,

accompaniment. As such the

ation in the

already dry days in the state.

such Government has initiated

the two reported a turnover of

tourists from the foreign coun-

Supreme

a program under the brand of

Rs 8,818 crore, of which Rs

tries wii not be affected by the

Court which

The Government has ordered

Punarjani to rehabilitate the

7,240 crore went to the exche-

closure of bars so far as they

add-

closure of bars attached to ho-

staff who lost their jobs and to

quer.

prefer beer and wine parlour to

i n g

tels, except in the five-star cat-

keep the drunkards away from

Apart from loss of revenue to

hot drinks bar and they have no

p u b s

egory, as part of the policy of

the obsession for the liquor.5%

the state and the jobs of those

complaints. According to tour

and

reducing availability of liquor to

of the total revenue earned

directly employed in the sector,

operators beer is a must for

to lure foreign

Beverages

state
Corpora-

stage

scheduled on the weekends.

tourists.
However, the new
policy has been
challenged by
the bar own-

has

direct-

ed the High
bars

Court

to

take

a decision on the
closure of bars under

the five-star category by Sep-

was submitted.

star categories.

but said the social loss was 10

heeran cited a 2011 report of

Income generated from liquor

The petitions have de-

the Comptroller

Bar Owners Association The Foreign Liquor (third was shown as major source of
hit back at Government amendment) Rules 2014 is making the project commercialstill born and a nullity for the ly viable. Major IT companies
move the High Court

scribed the move as dis-

and Auditor Gen-

criminatory, besides an

eral, which had

unlawful

recommended

tember 30.

curtailment

of

Kerala Bar Owners informed

reason that it is shown to be is-

will not set up their offices in

their right to earn liveli-

the Kerala High Court that the

sued by order of Governor on

the state, they stated.

hood by carrying out their

state governments decision

Aug 27, 2014 on which date

to close all bars was taken in

the Governor

haste and would be counter-

in office.

trade.

The Supreme Court questioned the


logic behind Kerala governments
new liquor policy for limiting bar licences to only five-star hotels.
Supreme Court finds the decision
of Government quite illogical

that the licences


of 418 bars in
the state should

The government had been di-

The

rected by the apex court to file

sought a directive to grant

the affidavit on a batch of ap-

time to file an appeal in

stantial revenue from Abkari

peals filed by 300 odd bar

the apex court if the High

business, besides impacting

owners challenging the de-

Court rejects their pleas.

expected

tourism.

cision to close down all bars,

A division bench headed

dards. The High

except those in the five star

by Anil R. Dave refused

Court of Kerala

category. The government

to accept the contentions

too, had direct-

raised by the bar owners.

ed the government to ensure

ques-

Bickerings
in
the
Ruling Party did not let
Government maintaining
complacency but sharp
at countering the move of
Bar Owners

tioned the logic behind Kerala

ceased to be

productive as it would lose sub-

In their affidavit filed in the

had earlier declined to re-

court, the bar owners said

new the licenses of 418

substantial revenue of

sub standard bars.

the government is augduties, and rentals collected


from the Abkari business.

running on overdraft, the state

Pointing

that

the

also

not be renewed
as they were operating

without

maintaining the
stan-

proper standards and norms

ing to him that there will be con-

while issuing bar licences to

siderable loss in revenue so

hotels under various catego-

far as the revenue from liquor

ries. Yet, when the licences of

sales is Rs.7000-9000 crore

all the substandard bars were

Continuing to defend the de-

but the loss is 10 times more;

renewed for the fiscal year

governments new liquor policy

cision to close down bars in

social loss, damage to families.

2013-14, no political leader in

The Supreme Court


At a time when the state was

owners

times more than that. Accord-

Supreme Court finds


the decision of Government quite illogical

mented from the taxes,

bar

government had not examined

government decision has been

for limiting bar licences to only

Kerala, Kerala Chief Minister

So the government do not care

the state raised a hue and cry.

the impact of prohibiting vend-

taken in haste and without ap-

five-star hotels.

Oommen Chandy and ruling

about the financial loss faced

But that was before Sudheeran

ing of liquor in hotels other than

plication of mind, the affidavit

A bunch of top lawyers, in-

party State President V.M. Sud-

by closing down bars.

was appointed the president of

those classified as five star ho-

said the survival of tourism will

cluding senior advocates Fali

heeran were very vehement in

tels.

be at stake. There will be large

S Nariman, Ram Jethmalani,

going ahead with the decision

Kerala State Congress Presi-

Sudheeran took a principled

scale cancellations of confer-

Rajeev Dhavan, C A Sundaram

of the government.

dent V.M. Sudheeran, who is

stand on this sensitive issue in

The government has not made

ences, meetings etc due to the

and Arvind Dattar, appeared

Mr. Oommen Chandy said he

supposed to be the architect

a state that leads the country in

any proper study as to what

liquor ban.

for various hotels and made

did not care about the finan-

of the new liquor policy in the

the per capita consumption of

would be the shortfall of the

a strong plea to the court for

cial loss but was worried about

state, went a little bit ahead and

alcohol and where more than

revenue and whether the state

staying the policy.

the social impact of liquor con-

he stressed that there is no dis-

20 percent of the governments

the KPCC President.

can meet the substantial reve-

Government had shown tour-

Under the new policy, the UDF

sumption. Mr Chandy said his

crimination in the States liquor

revenue comes from liquor

nue loss by finding out alterna-

ism as a major sector for in-

government had last month de-

government was not bothered

policy and there is no question

sales. The total turnover from

tive augmentation of revenue

vestment during the Global In-

cided to shut around 700 bars

about the considerable loss

of going back to this effect.

sale of liquor in Kerala is over

without affecting the public, it

vestors Meet (GIM) in 2012.

attached to hotels below five-

of revenue from sale of spirits,

In defence of his stand, Sud-

10,000 crore.

Sudheeran is of the opinion

involved in the liquor business,

who tries to stamp an impres-

a monopoly for itself or in an

the liquor policy, only five star

(33) and heritage hotels (8)

that through the sales boosts

Church leaders agree with Sud-

sion among the public that their

agency created by it for manu-

hotels were entitled for liquor li-

can run their liquor bars as per

States economy the govern-

heeran s view that the state

fundamental right got violated.

facture, possession, sale, and

cense. Kerala has 750-odd bar

the verdict of the single bench

ment is more concerned about

should enforce prohibition in

The submission in this regard

distribution liquor. It was settled

hotels. Of them, 418

health care because of ram-

a phased manner. The Indian

was made in a counter affidavit

that the court did not ordinarily

bars have remained

dra Mohan of the Kerala

pant alcoholism. According to

Union Muslim League, too, is in

filed on the direction of the Su-

interfere with the policy decision

closed since April this

high court. But, the high

him the menace of killing peo-

favour of prohibition.

preme Court on a batch of ap-

of the executive unless the pol-

year, pending renew-

court ratified the closure

ple and draining the financial

While admitting that there have

peals filed by 312 bar owners.

icy was faulted on grounds of

al of their license.

of a major chunk of the

resources of thousands of fam-

been internal squabbles in the

Bar hoteliers have no funda-

mala fide, unreasonableness,

Among the rest of

bars, which manage a lions

ilies has to be checked at any

ruling party, the Chief Minister

mental right to trade in intox-

arbitrariness, or unfairness. Nor

the functioning ho-

part of bar sales of liquor in

cost.

smelling the trouble delayed

icants such as liquor as it is

a policy could be faulted on the

tels, now five

Kerala.

As per the government deci-

the decision on renewing the

considered to be outside the

mere ground that it would hurt

star ho-

sion, 312 hotels in Kerala will

licenses of the bars that were

purview of commerce, accord-

the business interests of a par-

tels

Kerala - a victim of conflicting social issues

close liquor business and an-

closed down. Obviously, he

ing to an affidavit filed by the

ty. The present liquor policy did

Blessed by history and

other 418 have been closed

State government on Tues-

not violate Article 14 (equality

progressive policies,

since April after their liquor

day in the Kerala High Court

before law) of the Constitution.

the Kerala model of

licence was not renewed.

in response to a batch of

The government had decided

development

petitions challenging the bar

to close down 10 per cent of

marked by high hu-

licence cancellation notices.

the existing shops every year

man development indi-

Disposing of bar hoteliers

and close all the shops within

cators, with education

petitions against an inter-

10 years as part of its policy.

im order of the High Court,

The State had exclusive right or

on par with developed

the apex court had earlier

privilege in respect of potable

countries. It seemed just

and wine parlours will have

directed the State govern-

liquor. A citizen had no funda-

a matter of time before the

to close down. There is no

ment to file an affidavit in

mental right to trade or does

states economy would shift

move to grant new licence

the cases by September 16.

business in liquor.

for beer parlours,

The apex court had also re-

Meanwhile,

Sudheeran

toughened his stand on


beer and wine parlours,
saying they will not be exempted from closure. As per
the UDF decision, the beer

The government said in the


affidavit that the Supreme
Court had held that the State
had the power to impose restrictions and prohibitions on
the liquor business.

presided by Justice Suren-

and

health

was

indicators

into top gear too

Though Sudheeran has detrac-

does not want to bat on a dan-

strained the government from

tors within the party and the

gerous political pitch so far as

cancelling the bar licences till

Kerala
High
Court
backs Governments
present liquor policy

government, many prominent

the issue may be bothering him

September 30. The High Court

Kerala High Court on

that drove the states economic

communities in Kerala are with

as many of the ministers report-

had refused to stay the deci-

Thursday,30th October,

growth, even to the long-stand-

him on the liquor issue. The

edly have close connections

sion to cancel the bar licences

2014 gave a partial rat-

ing achievements in human de-

Church as well as Muslims op-

with liquor barons, who are also

of 321 hotels.

ification for the state

velopment. Armed with literacy

pose the consumption of liquor

prominent source of funds for

The government said in the af-

governments new li-

and education and the net-

on religious grounds and so do

election campaign.

fidavit that the Supreme Court

quor policy. Now bars

working and awareness that go

not approve of the existing pol-

However these scenarios could

had held that the State had the

in two and three star

along with it and faced with a

icy that allows the mushroom-

not restrain the Governments

power to impose restrictions

categories have to be

lack of opportunities within the

ing of liquor dens in the state.

from taking an unsympathetic

and prohibitions on the liquor

closed down, while 32 bars in

state, many Keralites took up

Though many Christians are

attitude against the bar owners

business. It could also create

four-stars can function. As per

Heres the irony. The reasons


for rising social tensions can
be traced to the very factors

(21), four star ho-

tels

jobs outside the country, espe-

cially the Middle East, making

stressful and people are facing

potent Marijuana on thousands

ing factor throughout indepen-

didnt like a drink: Those who

es in Democracy. Kerala hasnt

the state a money order econ-

an uncertain future. For a vari-

of hectors of forest land in Iduk-

dent India. Particularly Kerala

take to drinking ruin themselves

seen the prohibition experience

omy. In Kerala, one is never far

ety of reasons, there are limits

ki and Waynad.

is on the wrong side of history.

and ruin their people, he said.

of US, it seems. Nor it has seen

from a Western Union outlet, or

to the certainty of continuous

Most of the abusers of alco-

It is true that Article 47 of the

In Gujarat, his home state, pro-

the experience of neighbour

cultural life in the ever

hol may find it pleasurable, will

Indian Constitution obliges the

hibition is still in effect. Wealthi-

Tamil Nadu. The Tamil Nadu

to NRIs (non-resident-Indi-

have trouble stopping, and may

government to prohibit the con-

er drinkers buy drink smuggled

had prohibitions come and go

ans).

use it on a regular basis. They

sumption of alcohol. It is also

from neighbouring states, while

many times. Since 2001, its

develop

and

true that many legal challenges

the poor drink bootleg liquor,

now only sold by Government

triggered

physiological dependence and

to this constitutional provision

often made using poisonous

stores. This is one of the fast

consump-

develop a relentless and un-

have failed. But Indias frequent

chemicals. The state may lose

growing

manageable craving for Alco-

attempts to enforce prohibition

heavily on revenue, and the

il Nadu. Well, education has

hol such that their life becomes

have been ineffectual. Indeed,

illegal hooch makers and dis-

helped Tamil Nadus middle

world

of

organized around it, searching

Article 47 has withered away,

tributors gain from the peoples

class stay out of danger. Only

Kerala.

As

for it, using it, enjoying it, and

and little remains of it in prac-

misery. Social and addictive

the bottom people and families

a result, people

searching for more. Profession-

tice other than as parental

are torn. But, in history ev-

just a generation to achieve in-

are facing extreme

als and authorities differ on the

advice to a prodigal child.

ery nation pays prices for

tra-state equality in human de-

pressure in facing the

number of Alcoholics and drug

velopment indices. But the new

goals and values of the

addicts in Kerala. At any rate,

As a result of prohibitions

rich and their Gulf money-fu-

consumer society that has

they have been increasing in

in Kerala so far, a dispro-

elled prosperity changed all

imposed on them. Some

number. The revenue from al-

portionate effect on the

that. Today, Kerala is

unfortunate individuals re-

cohol sales from the beverag-

poor, who are more likely

not as equal a so-

treat or withdraw from

es corporation has increased

to drink potentially unsafe

ciety as it used to

the competitive situ-

like anything. The number of

or even deadly moonshine,

be, and inequality leads to so-

ation. The alcoholics

deaths due to alcohol and drug

and more vulnerable to the

cial tension and provides no

and drug addicts are such re-

abuse is on the increase in Ker-

black market that inevitably

room for tranquillity.

treats.

ala. Experts say that alcohol

explodes when prohibition

them Prohibition as a policy

Kerala defies all stereotypes

The alcoholics and drug ad-

abuse has increased tenfold

kicks in. In Kerala, anti-pro-

is high-minded stupidity. It

of a socially backward Indian

dicts, in order to maintain an

within the last three years. Re-

hibition campaigners fear that

habits are deep-rooted and it

promotes organised crime, illic-

state - condition of people liv-

expensive habit may sell their

cent life style changes and for-

alcohol tax revenue that cur-

is near impossible to change

it, unsafe hooch and corruption

ing in abject poverty, men out-

property, or steal a lot of mon-

eign liquor sales indicate that

rently flows into social projects

them through legal bans. There

of the police. Having learnt this

numbering women because of

ey. In this context, money ma-

there will be no considerable

to help alcoholics will instead

is always someone who is will-

lesson, prohibition was with-

female foeticide, internecine

fia, drug pushers, criminals and

reduction in the consumption of

line the pockets of criminal

ing to be a supplier at a price.

drawn in the US in early 20th

caste politics.

illicit alcohol traffickers collude

the liquor in the near future.

gangs and corrupt officials.

It is interesting to see how civili-

century. Politicians in those In-

Is it illogical to say that the


on par with the developed world agencies and sell drugs, illicit prohibition cannot be sucand it has the highest human liquor and tobacco products to cessfully implemented in
addicts for profit. It is reported Kerala State?
development index in India.

Keralas government need not

zations have to learn the same

dian states that prohibit liquor

even look so far for a case

thing over and over again, that

choose not to learn anything, as

study. Several states in India

civilizations learnt only with-

ignorance is blissfully lucrative.

have experimented with pro-

in 100 years. Well, politicians

The enlightened people of Ker-

Contemporary life in Kerala

that alcohol and drug mafia and

History discloses that alcohol

hibition in a hangover from

dont read history, unfortunate-

ala should rise up against the

is messy, unpredictable, and

drug cartels are cultivating high

prohibition is always a dismay-

the time of Gandhi, who really

ly. Thats one of the weakness-

governments hypocrisy and

at least a billboard referring

Gulf

money

conspicuous

chang-

tion, instilling a sense of


i

inequality among those


who stayed back. Once,
south Kerala was prosperous, the north was not. It took

Many of its social indicators are

psychological

with corrupt law enforcement

Blessed by history and progressive policies, the Kerala


model of development was
marked by high human development indicators, with
education and health indicators on par with developed
countries.

industries

in Tam-

the next generation to live


healthy and happy life!
Some protagonists of the
liquor consumption argue
that it is nothing but political game and Kerala is
naturally blended to adopt
the liquor use without any
inhibitions.

According

to

demand a rational liquor policy

Of course, alcohol consump-

of a family gets damaged by

can result in substantial mental

depends on the overall amount

ing pattern, whereas the share

that both encourages modera-

tion is associated with many

costs spending towards con-

health problems of family mem-

consumed in a country for

of acute consequences on the

tion and respects individual lib-

negative consequences both

suming liquor by the member of

bers.

which an indicator is per capita

total burden should be higher

erties. To drink or not should be

for drinkers partner as well as

the family and it used to affect

consumption. Per capita con-

in countries, where alcohol is

a personal choice, provided it

the children. Drinking can im-

the family resources , particu-

The effects of mens drinking on

commonly

entails no public disorder.

pair performance as a parent,

larly of a poor family, leaving

other members of the family is

more infrequently

History shows it is a tall order,

as a spouse or partner, and

other family members destitute.

often particularly on women in

but often in high

and the Kerala government

as a contributor to household

Not to exaggerate, family vio-

their roles as mothers or wives

amounts when al-

may ultimately have to eat

functioning. Mothers alcohol

lence has become a usual ob-

of drinkers. The risks include

cohol consumption

humble pie.

consumption during pregnan-

servable fact in a family where

violence, HIV infection, and an

takes place.

IN BOX

cy can result fetal alcohol syn-

the members leading the fam-

increased burden in their role of

Sociological Aspects aris- drome in children. The parental ily consume liquor. In middle
drinking is correlated with child class and poor families in the
ing out of liquor use

used

economic providers.

Diseases

While talking about the alco-

contributory role of

with

Let us analyze the sociological

abuse and impacts a childs

state of Kerala, it has become

holic impact on a family life,

even lower level or

consequences in a family life

environment in many social,

a common feature and it is one

the facts about domestic vi-

moderate

resulting out of alcohol use

psychological and economic

of main reasons for the Gov-

olence which used to lead to

consumption

Alcohol consumption is linked

ways. While a person drinks,

ernment to think about prohibit

separation of spouses are to

sump-

to many harmful consequenc-

probably outside home, impair

the liquor at the cost of revenue

emphasized. Alcohol has been

tion of course is also

es for the individual drinker, the

performance as a parent, as

accruing like anything in gov-

shown to be a significant risk

influenced by the percentages

Oro-

drinkers immediate environ-

a spouse or partner, and as a

ernments favour. The poten-

factor for husband-to-wife vi-

of drinkers (or abstainers) in a

oropharynx cancers) oesopha-

ment and society as a whole.

contributor to household func-

tial way by which alcohol use

olence. Studies have shown

country. Second, it depends on

geal and liver cancers

Such social consequences

can reduce the household

that the relationship between

the way alcohol

Female breast cancer

as traffic accidents, work-

income are through

alcohol and domestic violence

is consumed, e.g. regularly in

Cancers of the stomach, colon,

place-related

morbidity

associated

is complex. The role of alco-

moderate amounts with meals

rectum and ovaries

family and domestic prob-

with the drinking habit

hol in domestic violence is also

versus irregular in heavy drink-

Prostate Cancer

lems, and interpersonal vi-

among the consuming

cited in study conducted in

ing occasions often outside

olence have been receiving

individuals,

resulting

Kerala which found that 33%

meals. Similarly, the distribu-

2.

more public or research at-

in increase in medical

of spouse-abusing husbands

tion of alcohol related burden

Hypertension

tention in recent years, indi-

expenditure and loss

were using alcohol. Of these

across

Coronary Heart Diseases

cating a growing interest in

of income due to lost

15% were occasional, 45% fre-

widely across countries. At the

Cerebra-vascular Diseases

a broader concept of alco-

wage, and sometimes,

quent and about 40% were dai-

risk of oversimplifying, chronic

Cardiac arrhythmias

hol-related consequences.

resulting in the pre-

ly users of alcohol.

alcohol-related diseases pre-

Haemorrhagic stroke

mature death of sole

In BOX

dominantly depend on volume

Evidencing the risk factor

of drinking and should thus

3.

Liver cirrhosis

(Details of Health Hazards)

have a bigger share of the to-

4.

Spontaneous abortion

problems,

wage earners in a household.

While discussing about the

diseases

may

alcohol

1. Cancer

vary

pharyngeal(Mouth and

Cardiovascular disease

destructive power of Alcohol,

tioning. He is loos-

the significant segment affect-

ing precious time to be spent

A habitual drinker can be a best

The variation of disease bur-

tal burden in countries in which

tendencies, low birth weight,

ed by the monstrous attitude of

with his family and automati-

reason for the potential impact

den due to alcohol consump-

total per capita consumption is

fetal damage, prematurity, and

alcohol is the institution of fam-

cally his family life will be at the

on family life is the fact that the

tion across countries depends

high, but the prevailing drink-

intrauterine growth retardation.

ily. First we start from spouses.

rocks. The economical aspect

drinking and its consequences

atleast on two factors. First, it

ing pattern is a regular drink-

(because of alcohol consump-

tion during pregnancy time )

teachings of Prophet Mohammed who have

children murders their parents, husband his wife

torical importance.

5.

painted the liquor as the mother of all evils. The

and vice versa has become common headlines

non-interaction with others, insanity etc.

other significant aspect was that Gandhiji took

in the media. Most of the young-

Grave Concern to tackle the toppling of


the present liquor policy

6.

initiative to take steps to bring the sacred activ-

sters found their earnings re-

ity of prohibiting liquor as a working program of

leased out of the activities

an annual income of Rs.7000 Crores

Congress Party in 1921 and it was incorporated

of the social element- mafia

in the form of the returns from the

in the National Conference of Congress Party

association. The deaths re-

sales of li-

Other acute adverse health consequences:

held in Ottappalam in Kerala. This event hap-

sulting out of the drinking

quor in

Accidental injury and poisoning, suicide, inter-

pened to be cause of bringing the principle of

habits and the other fatal

t h e

personal violence and assaults

prohibition later in one of the articles of our Con-

deceases along with the mo-

(Courtesy: Global Status Report on Alcohol,

stitution.

tor accidents are the other se-

2014)

The irony is that inspite of all these prized histor-

rious casualties which we cannot

Bold Steps

ic realities; Kerala has not tried to implement the

overlook at all. But the government has been de-

Assessing the invaluable decrees of eminent

prohibition so far but for the occasion when A.K.

liberately failing to see these aforesaid dangers

personalities and reformers like Sree Narayana

Antony banned arrack sale and consumption

so as to accumulate the revenue like anything.

Guru to the effect of the attitude, towards the li-

during his tenure as the Chief Minister of Kera-

Governments complacency in dealing with the

quor such as Liquor is poison; never produce

la. But that move was torpedoed so far as even

report of CIG and subsequently the pressure

it; never sell it; never serve it; never drink it, has

villages of Kerala found the availability of for-

from the part of the KPCC President V.M.Sud-

state.

acquired a secondary meanings in the minds of

eign liquors without any restriction and moreover

heeran principled position put the government

sumptuous

people even those among the new generation.

the rural folk who are much exited over making

in a precarious state of affairs. Finding no alter-

been adopted as

30% of the total population of Kerala belongs

their routine visit to the liquor bars in their nearby

natives, losing the grip under his feet, the Chief

all ruling fronts to defeat the demand and claims

to the Ezhava Community who follows Sree

towns.

Minister has no other way to declare that all cat-

of the prohibition. The present attitude of the

Narayana Guru, 20 % of population of Kerala ob-

As such Kerala has made wonders in respect of

egories of bar coming under two, three and four

government indisputably made it clear that the

serve Christianity as their religion whose spiritual

the consumption of liquor as they have outscored

star hotels but for the bars under Five Star and

notion was nothing but farce.

leaders strongly condemn the

consump-

the challenges of states like Punjab and Goa in

Heritage hotels and to the surprise of the entire

It is ideal for the government to think that tax-

l i m s

the national level. Keralas per capita liquor con-

public that the 10% of the beverages corpora-

es in the form of revenue accrued in respect of

o f

sumption is twice as that of the average of the

tion retail outlets will be closed every year and

some productive purposes for which people are

national per capita consumption of liquor. Most

this stage by stage prohibition will be over by

advised and directed rather than going after the

of the surveys disclosed that the children above

2030. Even the permission for commencing tod-

poisonous and damaging liquor consumption.

13 years in Kerala are getting addicted to the

dy shops in the state will be only on the basis of

The family squabbles, abusing women folk, vi-

liquor consumption. This trend has been

the availability of the toddy and the numbers of

olence, and accidents will be considerably re-

coconut trees and toddy tappers.

duced and social and economic losses as a re-

ation women in the state. This phe-

Irrespective of the reality whether the Chief Min-

sult of the above would be lessened. The only

nomena inexorably put the fam-

ster does not want to make himself inferior in tak-

problem concerning as the result of the prohibi-

ilies in peril. The gruesome

ing actions to this effect to the principled KPCC

tion would be the rehabilitation of the employees

attitude of the close kins and

President who has already acquired a moral rec-

engaged in the liquor industry/business. This

relatives with each other even to

ognition among the public, the principled stand,

embarrassing situation can be overcome by dif-

an extent of slaying even the close

the interest behind the public welfare along with

ferent planned rehabilitation packages accept-

relatives like parents kill their children,

the equity is quite appreciable and deserve his-

able to the labour category.

Mental conditions such as depression,


Other Chronic Conditions such as epilep-

sy, acute and chronic pancreatitis and psoriasis

tion of liquor and the Muswho constitute 25%


the population are
following

the

extended over to so called new gener-

Kerala treasury is enjoying the receipt of

T h i s
deal

has

the triumph card of

tion. The wine with 18% alcohol

belongings for their nation in the

opportunity to revive their

from the editorial of Eco-

But the most affected catego-

will also enhance the desire for

peaceful social environment. At

operations with supplying

nomic Times has become

ry would be the politicians and

liquor among the consumers.

present Kerala is well deserved

beer and wine for name

true. The Kerala govern-

goons who are reaping bene-

Apart from that there will be a

to bear the brunt of curse from

sake. The cabinet found to

fits under the shades spreaded

tendency of supplying illicit li-

the part of the women and their

be jubilant over their deci-

by the liquor mafia. The crimi-

quor within the closed doors of

tears are well enough to burn

sion to this effect.

nal gangs who have their solid

beer and wine parlour.

the state without any mercy.

The self proclaimed practi-

roots in the state of Kerala are

There is a strong argument from

The society without criminals

cality seems to be the re-

well flourished in the recent

every nook & corners that there

should be created at any cost.

flection of the bribery. It has

years mainly with the influence

will be disaster-prone illicit li-

Hence the prohibition of liquor

become a routine curse for

of

quor shops come all throughout

is inevitable. The people must

the citizens of the demo-

the state which would ulti-

recognize the realities so that

cratic India to be fooled

mately lead to very disas-

without any inhibition they can

by the ruling governments

trous and tragic situations.

jointly fight against the disgust-

from time to time.

But this claim of

ing efforts of some lobbies who

the

are bent on making the Kerala,

spirit

mafia.

These

a haven for liquor.

Unfortumafia used to get


aided well by the people at the
helm so far as the aforesaid

protago-

bars liable to be closed were

nists of the liquor can

not served with proper notice

be countered by the stand of

facilitating the bar owners to

the people to make the govern-

cross the hurdles without any

ment, police department and

difficulty and get a favourable

excise department alert against

order from the court. But the

these offensive tirade initiated

leaders like V.M.Sudheeran,

by the liquor mafia. Unless and

KPCC President interfered in

until the people take the chal-

n a t e
scenes of
final ULTA PULTA Complete Prohibition has become a hoax

this matter and accordingly,

lenge in checking these tribu-

The deliberate and disgraceful

the government was forced to

lations, the declaration made

act of the government in re-

serve the notice to the bar own-

by the government on 21st Au-

spect of implementing the liquor

ers. In the midst of this row, the

gust, 2014 would automatically

policy, aiming at the complete

excise minister took a stand to

become ineffective.

prohibition within a span of 10

issue license to new beer and

Kerala badly needs a gener-

years, has become nothing but

wine parlours. It is to be borne

ation who are possessed with

mere hoax. The unauthorised

in mind that consuming beer is

healthy physique as well as

bars which were denied the li-

the stepping stone for cultivat-

strong mind and who can con-

censes to continue their oper-

ing the habit of liquor consump-

tribute creative and productive

ation are being gifted with the


OUR MEDIATOR FEB

34

Kerala treasury is enjoying


the receipt of an annual income of Rs.7000 Crores in
the form of the returns from
the sales of liquor in the
state.

As pointed out in the beginning


of the article, the doubt quoted

ments dubious attitude in


respect of the liquor policy was a theatrical performance. Yes we do not
believe the government of
Kerala.

TRACK

udheer has been work-

as a school teacher. Prema is

characters.

ing as an executive in

very easy going, a character of

a house in Trissur and in the

the Share khan invest-

social moving and participated

beginning of their married life,

ments based in Trissur. He

in so many association where

Sudheer though tough, reason-

hails from Pattambi in Palaghat

women have dominant roles ,

ably lovable and affectionate

District. He is brought up with

she interacts with every body

towards Prema .He was too

strictness by his father and he

freely and thus she has earned

much possessive and he dis-

even frightened to face his fa-

a good name among her circle.

like Prema going for a job or

She is trained as a beau-

even talking to a member of her

ther all in his life and he was

Sudheer

rented

an obedient boy through

opposite sex. But Prema ad-

out. His mother is also lit-

justed with him so far as he is

tle bit rough in her behav-

possessive and affectionate

ior towards her children.

during those days. She gave

Sudheer being the eldest find

birth to a boy in the very next

rather a confined life through

year. But with the birth of this

out his academic life and he

boy, Sudheer started behav-

has molded a tough charac-

ing in a different manner and

ter which can not be accepted

she even finds real Sudheer

sometimes by even his close

is coming out of his polished


garb.

friends, though very limited in


number. He does not have sisters and he find it rather difficult

Sudheer rarely having any

to deal with woman folk even

physical relationship after

in his office. Unfortunately he

tician and has a technical

the first issue. She again gave

got married with an urbanized

qualification in computer too.

birth to a baby girl two years


after the first issue. Then their

girl, Prema who is post graduated and looking for a good job

When Prema got married with

co-habitation has become quite

for earning. She belongs to a

Sudheer, Prema found Sud-

remote. Sudheer most proba-

middle class family where her

heer possess a shy, timid char-

bly involved in his occupation

father is a retired Thahsildar

acter, which she feels would

and Prema naturally have her

and her mother is still working

be differentiating factor in their

time with babies. But Sudheer,


OUR MEDIATOR FEB

36

inspite of his involvement in his

ily and they come to a stage

Prema earned a good reputa-

profession, he is very keen in

where they find difficult to see

tion among the clients and this

refraining Prema from talking to

their both ends meet. Sudheer

automatically resulted in incul-

other persons particularly men.

tried for another job but he

cating a complex in Sudheer

He attitude has become very

failed to get so far as his experi-

and he tries his maximum to

suspicious and slowly their

ence in share markets does not

ditch and scold Prema at every

family life seems to be sink-

suit any jobs he applied against

time possible. Prema has had

ing in a sea of peril. He never

which is quite inadequate for

enough with him. She even

allows his wife to expend any

obtaining a reasonable job in

finds very difficult to get even

money towards her require-

the city.

a good skirt so far as Sudheer


never minds his wife dressing

ments of her choices. He purchase things for his wife and

At this juncture Prema con-

in good style. The interesting

children not against their choic-

vinced him that she could start

matter is that he never allows

es. Prema started feeling suf-

a Beauty Clinic in the front of

his kids, specially his daughter

focations in the

not to wear fash-

life with Sud-

ionable

heer. Whenever

which may ex-

Prema tries to

pose her body

make issue with

to others.

Sudheer,

dress

he

snubs her more

Their family life

often physical-

is almost in the

ly. As the chil-

sinking,

dren

during

these

and when they

days,

Prema

reached

the

was introduced

age of joining

to a husband of

the School, they

another

growing

and

client

have started disliking their fa-

the house premises. Sudheer

which Sudheer is not aware of.

ther because of his rude, indif-

takes three to four days to fi-

First they were having a friend-

ferent attitude towards them.

nalise this decision and he

ship relation and they used to

suggested that the entire re-

have interaction through cell

When the children are doing

turns should come to him and

phone which has been carried

their primary studies, Sudheer

he would expend everything

out by Prema secretly for days

lost job in the company be-

towards their family and Prema

and their relationship groomed

cause of the global recession

became uncomfortable with his

like anything to an extent of ex-

which paved the way for the

attitude but she agreed at last.

tra marital relationship in their


conversations and Prema find

devastation of the share markets. The pathetic situation

The business within months

really affected Sudheers fam-

snatched good returns and

more comfort and support.

Husband is posses-

he stooped to an eco-

between.

sive over his wife and

nomic crisis on loosing

The inferiority complex

hence he is very much

his job, he allowed his

really wounded in every min-

is really haunting the

suspicious too. He is

wife to go a look out

miliation from him. The children

ute of her life with her husband

husband and it is the

conscious of his wifes

for job or starting some

are also scared and they are

S u d h e e r.

cause of all fights and

beauty may attract

business she would

also ready to leave with their

From their

quarrels taken place

others. He never allows

prefer to do. As such

mother. Prema went back to

disclosure

after initiating the

her to talk with anybody

she started a Beauty

her parents and sent a divorce

of

facts

Beauty Clinic business.

including her friends

Clinic and it was in-

notice to Sudheer. Sudheer

and

other

Even the family has

too. But later when she

structed the entire cash

before signing the notice has

inciden-

become economically

starts her own busi-

flow of the business

consultation with a lawyer who

tal

well placed, the inferior-

ness, he compromised

shall be through him

advised him to contact with

some

ity complex on the part

to an extent where

only and she finds even

CAM which may enable him to

sues have

of the husband paved

she can associate with

difficult to buy some of

have negotiation with Prema

b e e n

no way for any

under the auspices of the Me-

framed and

tranquility between

diation Center.

the

husband and wife.

attitude to children. He

Fed up with the be-

behaves just as if he

havior of husband,

were not their father.

Sudheers continuing negative

all issues brought up between

can inspire others by his show

attitude is being retaliated by

them.

of character. Whereas Prema,


his wife is quite easy going and

Prema and as a result she became subjected to physical hu-

Mediation

6.

things,
is-

estab-

lished posi-

Background of the Dispute

5.

7.

tions of the

Economic issue also in

2.

her undergarments.
4. Husbands very rough

On finding out real facts from

concerned parties and their re-

the wife starts

Children have got more

The family dispute cornered

both through their counsels it

spective interests were extract-

searching conso-

attachment towards

around a couple having dif-

is assessed by the Mediator

ed out to meet with a solution.

lation or support

their mother.

ferent perception about their

that unless this dispute is prop-

married life. Sudheer brought

erly handled, it may lead to

up in an indifferent environ-

dangerous proposition for the

ment, confined to have his own

both the parties. The husband

feelings, not caring for others

Mr.Sudheer though seems to

itation between the two

feelings even an affectionate

be tough and indifferent in his

spouses for so many

wifes or his childrens feelings,

attitude, he is a passionate,

years

dreams and aspirations,

has

honest husband. But because

molded a tough character with-

5. During running her

from other friends/

Issues framed up

business, she hap-

lovers.

pened to contact and


1.

meet one person who

(Serious Issues in de-

Lack of proper co-hab-

females only.

is supposed her cli-

Husbands business in

ents husband and their

After the birth of first

damaging proposition

relationship grows fast

Lack of Communication

child, husband is not

with the children are

so far as her husband

of his bringing up in a quite dif-

in a spirit to maintain

so much inclined to

having their primaries

behavior is too intoler-

out any pretensions where as

ferent environment and owner

their conjugal rights.

the physical relation-

studies. The irony is

ant for her, from friend-

his wife Prema is a soft, social

of different drawbacks, he even

Husband is always

ship>But accidentally

that husband was not

ship which could go

moving and tries always to giv-

without knowing he is becom-

wary of his spouses

they give birth to anoth-

at keen in sending his

to and extent of extra

ing a social meaning to life. So

ing a imperfect husband and

social moving

er child within a span of

wife for any job even

marital relationship. On

their married life is a reflection

weak father, content with the

Husband is too much

years. Afterwards there

though she is well qual-

finding out this relation-

of an entangling of two oppo-

character of being tough and

possessive and more

is no such biological

ified technically and

ship he became more

site poles. The strange union

indifferent. But he is neither an

conservative in his

relationship between

academically while he

cruel and wife deserted

itself is the ultimate reason for

exhibitionist nor a person who

behavior

the spouses.

was earning. But when

him immediately with-

2.

3.

4.

tail)
3.
1.

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

39

out having any second

same time he does not know

love and support her so far her

jobless, he agreed his

husband and met with

recognized the familys

thoughts.

how to show his love and affec-

security is concerned. But in

wife to involve in busi-

without failure.

desires and aspiration

tion towards them. He does not

any respect she prefer divorce

ness to see they get a

Husband shall make his

and well co-operate with

want a divorce at this juncture

and it has become an inevita-

good revival so that he

mind soft so as to treat

them al least to accom-

Major issue assessed

as he feels he is going to be

ble thing for her.

must be invested with

as human being.

plish minimum of them.

is with regard to husbands na-

leave alone without anybodys

ture - Maintaining quite unwar-

affection or love towards him,

Interests extracted from the

ness not to be useless

mains confined within

see a husband who is

ranted and unwanted notions

(but at the same time he fails to

parties

because of the spend

the prison of jealousy,

interested in himself

about the family life, without

realize that his behavioral atti-

thrift nature of his wife.

complex and ego.

and making decisions

considering the feelings of his

tudes are being re-

As she is running her

to thwart all the feelings

spouse and children is the root

ciprocated by

lived for the entire family,

business for their family,

and interests of other

cause of this family dispute. His

his family

which he expects the

she should be paid due

members of his family.

8.

the returns of the busi-

Sudheer

While earning he has

Husband always re-

She doesnt want to

same in recipro-

quite hindering factor in their

cation when she

all above

reconciliation of their married

is earning so

concerns made

life.

that he insists

her to move for

to get the whole

a divorce and

returns of the

even she dont

business to be

mind getting al-

expended by

lied with some-

himself.

body who can

He is not a

help her out of

pretender as

these woods,

as-

attitude towards sex is also a

His economical concept

is also a factor which to a great

so-

extent invoked the quarrel and

ciate,

fight against his wife. He does

say

not want to see his leadership

wife after a

of the family shall

prolonged

be ques-

his

tioned. Moreover he is a man

riod

of so many problems he wants

waiting.)

of

Not

inclined
to get
pe-

a divorce,

impatient

fearing of
solitude life which

to hide these problems with a

may make him mad.

he is a straight

These

callous and indifferent behavior

He is having some inimical

But in the family life he

forward , which

to all members of his family. In

problems which might be

should get due respect

misinterpreted by others,

respect by her husband,

assess the situation may go

that sense he is a pretender.

due to his character molded ei-

from other members of

him as a self centered,

at least let her to draw

worst unless it is properly han-

He wants to continue with the

ther out of his bringing up or out

the family particularly,

self interested, tough

half of the returns to

dled. It is well reflected and

same attitude even after be-

of a genetical irrationality

his wife.

brute.

be her means to spend

analyzed from the fact finding

towards her imperative

session that the husband Sud-

needs and desires.

heer is a man who has already

She is longing for love,

shows some signs of aberra-

affection and support

tion and the opposite spouse

She shall not loose her

from her husband, in

may groom to be an insane

family.

identity and shall be

which departments, he is

person where she can go up to

Economically he wants

recognized equally.

a total failure.

a stage of maintaining a extra

Her children should also

marital relationship.

cause of his persisting personality crisis.

Prema

sulted with regard to all

aspects of her life and

keeping any hope for a life with


Sudheer so long as his position

that he should be con-

Position of the respecLost all patience and not at all


tive parties
Sudheer

His wife shall recognize


him as a husband, so

Prema

The

is becoming quite complicated

to build a strong set up,

He is too much possessive for

day by day. She does not mind

When he was sliced to

and desires have to

his wife and children. At the

allying with somebody who can

nothing as he became

be understood by her

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

40

Her and childrens needs

Mediator

get the fatherly affection.

At the most, he should

In the sessions following the

fact finding sections, the infor-

most same as that of separation

situation. Prema replies that

She could not help herself. She

Prema once again re-

ing to have an adjustment with

mation gathered from the part

so long as their relationship is

he already found a friend who

felt like caught between the

alize the

Sudheer. She also weighed

of Prema that she is not inter-

always at loggerheads and the

could help her. She discloses

horns of dilemma.

ested in any patch up and she

children could find their parents

that he has already agreed to

She can read her mind to

views this mediation can be a

are always at conflicting ends.

marry her and take her chil-

more feeble at this juncture

good tool to get them separat-

Hence the union never could

dren as his own. The Mediator

and she has made her mind

ed without any more issues.

bring any good alternative.

understands that this friend is

to adopt such a decision

nobody but the husband of his

to associate with another

client and they also are having

womans husband was

their own children. Mediator

taken because of her an-

Mediator tries to convince the


counsel of Prema that the sep-

First Caucus with Prema

aration would definitely bring


the children into a miserable

Mediator during a private con-

realizes that Prema is already

tipathy towards her hus-

situation and their future would

versation with her ask whether

out of senses because of her

band.

be feeble and fragile. Even

she is genuinely interested in a

aversion towards Sudheer as

though Prema is very adamant

Union, Prema replied him that

she finds this friendship rela-

over her previous stance of

she would rather prefer a life

tionship would be a safe ha-

an option of living with her


parents and

married

Caucus with Sudheer

brother

as

the last
alterna-

While Mediator held

tive.

a private discussion with Sud-

But

realizes

heer, Mediator went through a

facts

turbulent session as he found

the situation to be more

Sudheer to be a compilation

precarious for her. Once she

be

of so many personalities. He

leaves her husband and ac-

ing proposition.

is found most unreliable. Me-

cepts somebody of her choice,

She accepted the Mediators

diator assess the situation as

it would be rather dangerous

suggestion that Sudheer shall

more practical for some patch

and her childrens future would

undergo

up. But so far as Prema could

be at stake. If she chooses al-

treatment or some rigorous

come in terms with Sudheer

ready the person, she has ev-

counseling.

that

that too will


an

embarrass-

some

psychiatric

getting separated from Sud-

with somebody else who could

ven for her. Mediator himself

once he becomes normal there

ery reason to align with,will be

heer, the mediator succeeded

provide her and her children

adopts the role of a counselor,

is a possibility of them come to-

more awkward so far as the so-

Mediators task to send Sud-

in leaving her a thought of her

more safety and good security.

making Prema realize that she

gether for future peaceful mar-

ciety wont accept their continu-

heer for Psychological Coun-

children would have to bring up

Mediator suggests as a casual

was about to damage another

ried life.

ing conjugal rights. There is no

seling and Psychiatric treat-

without their parents always in

opinion in case the person who

married life when her own mar-

guarantee on the safe future of

ment.

the conflict. This thought made

comes and marries her repeats

riage life is on the rocks. Medi-

her discuss with Mediator if so

so long as he finds her as a

ator lets her think of it and she

how would this mediation could

woman with the liability of two

slowly gets hold of her mind

change the attitude of Sudheer

children and he finds some oth-

and she would be the most

and unless Sudheer changes

er woman to dance to his tunes

cursed woman if she relents to

Mediator talks with Prema in

his attitude, there is no mean-

Mediator makes her under-

the request of the husband of

this connection. Mediator used

Prema could understand these

claims to be his ultimate obses-

ing in living together which is al-

stands that it is all hypothetical

her client friend.

his skill to make

things to be real and she is will-

sion for his wife has to be test-

Second Private Session with


Prema in continuation with
first Caucus with her

the children too as this person


can not waive off his liabilities

Mediator suggested to Sud-

so long as he is already having

heer, in case he genuinely

children in another wife.

wants to continue the family


life his possessive nature as he

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

43

ed and tried. SO the Mediator

cause of concern lies in Sud-

persuades him to undergo the

heers lack of interest in sexual

counseling and treatment with

co-habitation with his wife.

immediate effect so as to avoid

Mediator let the spouses ex-

it is better she leaves the chil-

whether their father would ac-

changing their views on this

dren to him so that they wont

cept their mothers willingness

The counseling also helped

divorce conflict. Mediator sug-

be a liability for her and new

to live with him, approached the

him not to be swayed away by

gested himself and two respec-

husband.

Mediator and other counsels

mentally perfect.

a divorce at any cost. Sudheer

( During the treatment it was

the old scars haunting him in

tive counsels to be away from

Prema choked with emotions

waiting outside in other cham-

was also informed that his wife

learnt that Sudheer is a pris-

his married life.)

the spouses.

and she cried without any

ber to guide their parents to get

Prema

provided

oner of so many confrontations

break. The children also cried

patched up. Mediator and oth-

he should be mentally fit and

which he has been experienc-

When the spouses became

with their mother. Sudheer told

ers are well pleased to join the

peaceful in their co-habitation.

ing since his childhood days.

alone with their children, Sud-

her that it is going to be a prac-

spouses.

heer apologized to Prema for

tical solution so far as she does

loves

him

Mediators Caucus after his


treatment

His parents, particularly his faSudheer could not accept all

ther, the middle aged maid ser-

Sudheer realized that he was

what all things happened in be-

not want to live with him. Sud-

At that juncture too, Sudheer is

these suggestion all on a sud-

vant and her husband are all

suffering from the trauma of

tween in their family life and he

heer not dared to tell her that

willing to let Prema free and he

den but he could

mental

jeopar-

even assure Prema, he wont

his problems could be over and

even has gone to an extent of

be well advised

dy which also

be a barrier to her to earn her

he could be a good companion

leaving the children too along

by his counsel to

caused

prob-

a divorce and she is free bird.

for her.

with his wife.

this effect. Sud-

lems to his fam-

He requested to her that he

Prema realized Sudheer would

heers intention

ily

members.

wants his children back and

be an ideal husband and she

Mediator analyzed this is the

in this dispute

But to Media-

they would be looked after by

should be a good wife. But she

maximum and this is the point

is to keep away

tors

him. If she is living alone, there

also found this situation difficult

at which they can come in terms

the

Sudheer

was

is no problem she can look after

to make it convenient to convey

with each other. He conveyed

hence he has

ready to under-

children. But in case, she wants

her desires.

to Sudheer that it is irrelevant

to undergo this

stand

to get married with somebody,

Children not aware of the fact

to talk about divorce then and

counseling and

feelings

treatment.

he

divorce,

surprise,

others
and

conveyed

to the Mediator

Object
of
Counseling
and Treatment

to leave Prema
free. But he was
behind his scurrilous life which

not ready to leave children at

still after so many years haunt-

any cost and he suggested to

The treatment and counseling

ing his family life. The experts

Mediator that the issue behind

was prescribed to diagnose

suggested the cure is inevitable

this dispute shall be around ac-

whether his mental illness is

and they

quiring the guardian or ward of

due to some sort of schizophre-

advised Sudheer, he would

the children.

nia which can play the role in

have gone out of sanity in case

the evolution of genetical para-

he is not given the treatment

Mediator suggested a joint ses-

noia like suspicion, mistrust etc.

in right time, They prescribed

sion to this effect.

or the possessive nature is ac-

some beneficial mental and

tually in the real sense or some

physical exercises along with

genetic disease and the main

some medicines to make him

Final Joint Session

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

44

SPECIAL FEATURE

INTRODUCTION OF IT
IN ARBITRAL PROCEEDINGS
Adv. Rajesh, Chief ODR Coordianator, Emirate Advocates, Dubai

nformation
Technology
(IT) has invaded the legal profession. Electronic
communication technologies
have become a usual working mode of the lawyers now
a days. The Dispute Resolution is one of the most rapidly developing fields of IT
usage.
Computers since their inception has been a real cause
for the transformation in approaching law, practising law and its application in business and
at the crossroad of these
trends, finally proved and
accomplished its credentials
even in the area of Dispute
Resolution.
The online legal databases
like Lexis Nexus and Westlaw dealt with the effects of

internet on the circulation


of legal information which
have enabled to the legal
professionals to go for the
online legal research. But
the movement of information
is of course not restricted to

mere legal information and


even extended to dispute
resolution processes. Online
Dispute Resolution (ODR) is
an offshoot of such computers and networks. The main
advantage of ODR is the
ease of its access, which is

ubiquitous and consequently


the relatively low costs generated by the procedures;
promoting the use of information technology in traditional arbitration procedures
is a simple extension of the
ODR
movement.
More precisely, the
evolution of the ODR
movement has gone
through a series of
phases that testify to
the importance of the
approach chosen for the
present work: promoting the
use of information technology in traditional arbitration
procedures is a simple extension of the ODR movement.
The assumption of the use of
ODR for a particular kind of
law such as e-commerce law

as the internet shoppers are


in need of a dispute resolution system that relies on the
same communication means
that were used to conclude
the transaction in the first
place: electronic means of
communication. As such it
was concluded that the type
of dispute resolution specifically adapted to the kind of
online or e-commerce disputes. Later it was recognized that ODR
is not merely a
by-product
of
e-commerce,
or even a set of
tools that belongs to the
broader field of
cyberspace law,
but a change
with potentially
profound implications for the
entire field of dispute resolution. Hence Information Technology, if used
correctly, improves the effectiveness of dispute resolution processes by simplifying information transmission
and generally accelerating
the proceedings. IT also improves efficiency of dispute
resolution by reducing costs
of disputes resolution processes, in particular by limit-

ing the need for travel.

ITs tasks in carrying out


arbitration
The usual behavioural approach of IT in work environments allow tasks to be
accomplished more rapidly,
cheaper, and more easily.
In other words, they seek to
render work processes more
effective, more efficient, and
more convenient. Now it is
left to see how these proper-

ties of IT can be adopted in


the context of arbitration.

A.Efficiency

IT provides opportunities to
reduce costs and time. The
main types of costs that can
be reduced related to travel and document handling.
Travel costs can of course
only reduced in the context
of online meetings replacing face-to-face meetings. IT

can provide significant cost


savings in such situations.
In addition to out of pocket
expenses, the costs savings
also include lost working
time (including the productivity diminution due to jetlag).
Hence travel-related costs of
all the participants in the arbitration can be avoided, including those of arbitrators,
parties and their counsel,
witnesses and experts.
The other cost
reducing aspect
is related to documentation. Digital copies cost
virtually nothing
comparatively to the costly
photocopying
affair. This is
especially beneficial for larger
cases with numerous lengthy
documents. Digital copies of
documents reduce the need
for storage space, as a standard CD or DVD can contain
thousand of files. The handling expenses related to
shipment resulting in courier
costs can be saved as a result of transmission of files in
electronic format by means
of e-mails or like.
Time saving tasks includes

specific tasks, such as hearings and other forms of meetings, transferring documents
can be carried out swiftly by
adopting appropriate technologies. Such technologies
are for instance simple electronic communication means
like e-mails for a limited number of relatively small files;
more sophisticated tools
such as case management
websites with powerful en
masse uploading
and downloading facilities for
larger or more
numerous files;
videoconferencing for hearings
and other meetings such as deliberations. As
briefed
above
with the avoidance of travel or
shipping times
saved can be utilized for accelerating more
tasks and there by facilitate
increasing productivity and
potentially shortening procedures.

ferencing during arbitration,


whose unavailability during
face-to-face arbitration used
to be a practical dilemma
during arbitration procedure. The videoconferences
during arbitration make a
way for detailed messages
to be conveyed and detailed
discussion which are not familiar with teleconferencing.
Hence videoconferencing is
a combination of face to face

meetings and teleconferencing as these qualities may


replace face-to-face meetings with advantages related
to speed and costs.

B. Effectiveness

C. Convenience

IT facilitates certain actions


which may not have been
practicable without IT. The
experts and witness could
be heard using videocon-

Certain IT features like find


function in word processor
, scanned documents converted to PDF formats and
further easy transmission of

scanned brief in image format facilitates arbitration

Arbitration Proceedings in
the Cyber way
The virtual environment
which have not been in use
till recently but currently
starts get used and bent on
constituting an innovative
technology and future direction for the wide use of IT in
arbitration.
The legal rules
framed without
any sort of things
in mind the technologies
like
case management websites,
videoconferencing, virtual workspaces. Hence
it is to be born in
mind that legal
rule to be framed
in such a manner
so as to adapt
the aforesaid technologies
and shall be flexible enough
to accommodate them.
Whether the due process
standards of arbitration like
right of the parties to be
heard (reasonable opportunity to present their case
such as to allege facts, present legal arguments, and to
produce evidence on rele-

vant facts) would be affected


with the use of technology?.
The arbitral tribunal shall
have to seek the parties consent to the use of such technology. As in the initial stages there may be probabilities
of the parties to the dispute
to adhere to the traditional
due process standards of
arbitration. But as the technologies get introduced the
parties could able to resort
to the technical applications

in arbitration slowly.
There are two main IT tools
that may be used in arbitration proceedings, namely
case management websites
and videoconferencing. The
emphasis is placed on videoconferencing, which raises a many more questions
than case management
websites. The latter is relatively complex to set up from
a technological point of view,

a topic beyond the scope of


the present study, but earlier
to use.

Extranets, case management websites, and virtual


case rooms
The purpose of the extranet
is to share, in a private fashion, part of an entitys information and operations with
its members, as well as this
is what differentiates it from
an intranet- with its suppliers,
customers and partners. An

extranet is used as common


repository of shared data to
which all authorized members have accesses over the
intranet. The access to such
shared data has in principle
two goals: document management and scheduling.
Document management includes retrieving and reviewing the latest version of documents from remote locations
and conversely, publishing

documents firm -, project-, or


client wide. Scheduling consists of online calendaring
and includes setting deadlines and posting reminders,
scheduling meetings with
lists of attendees, and monitoring the status of projects.
Case management websites
are basically extranets that
are specifically designed for
the management of legal
case. They serve two main
purposes: (1) providing a
universally accessible, but
password protected, platform for document repository, and (2) constituting a
web-based interface that
allows users to communicate rapidly and securely.
Typically, such websites
are available to the parties,
counsel, arbitrators, arbitral institution, and possibly
with limited access, witnesses and experts. Access
may be protected by passwords and possibly by any of
the additional technologies
just mentioned above for extranets. Case management
websites have been used,
for instance in mass claims
and multiparty proceedings.
They provide to the numerous plaintiffs functionalities
such as information sharing, claims screening, matOUR MEDIATOR FEB

49

ter tracking, discovery management, patent/trademark


management, and contract
tracking.
Virtual case rooms are case
management websites that
are more specifically dedicated to the actual resolution of a case. Other case
management websites are
generally designed to assist
with the global management
of the case, but not its actual
resolution.
Videoconferencing is an
IT based solution that enables meetings among
persons using both telephony and closed circuit
television
technologies
simultaneously. It allows
two or more participants
located in different places to communicate with
almost no consideration
for geographic distance,
sharing images, sound,
and possibly software applications. Videoconferencing
used to necessitate relatively
sophisticated and expensive
technical equipment. This
has largely become untrue
during the last years thanks
to the advent of transmission
of protocols allowing video
over IP, which has significantly reduced the costs associated with its use. Video

conferencing software now


only requires fairly basic
terminal equipment i.e. the
equipment each end user
must have on its side of the
connection, which largely facilitates the organization and
use of such software.
Shared virtual workspaces
though it may useful to give
an insight into this technology as an exploration into
possible future developments of IT in arbitration, are

not currently used in arbitration at all. A shared visual workspace is one where
multiple people can see the
same objects at roughly the
same time. A shared visual
space assists participants
in understanding the current
state of a task and enables
them to communicate and
ground their conversation
efficiently. These processes

are associated with faster


and better task performance.
Delaying the visual update in
space reduces benefits and
degrades performance. The
shared visual space is more
useful when tasks are visually complex or when actors
have no simple vocabulary
for describing their world.

Use of IT and its practicability

The parties and the arbitrators should examine different


methods of sending documents, such as by mail,
fax, e-mail with or without attachments; on diskettes. The size of a document and the availability
of document compression
systems should also be
taken into consideration
in choosing one method
or another. Generally, it
is impractical to send and
receive very long documents such as memorials
with or without exhibits by
e-mail (the same is true for
fax transmissions).Hence, it
is preferable to provide that
such documents will be communicated on a CD-Rom,
with or without a paper version depending on the wishes and habits of the tribunal
members, counsel and party
representatives.

If parties intend to use electronic means as their primary


method for filing documents,
they should define an alternative backup method for
sending them, such as postal mail or fax, in the event of
difficulties with the electronic means. A safe solution is
to send a hard copy of the
most important docu-

ments
by post or special courier
after they have been sent
electronically. That solution
has the disadvantage, however practically defeating
the efficiency that electronic
communications may otherwise achieve.
The parties should also decide on other aspects of
document submission, such
as preparing a database of
documents, labelling and
identifying files and physical

data carriers such as diskettes or like (CD-ROMs),


checking for viruses (specifying the anti-virus software
to be used) before sending a
document, and acknowledging the receipt of an e-mail
and/or document (frequently an e-mail reaches the
addressee but the at-

tachment
cannot be opened).
Security is another important issue that should be
discussed by all parties,
including the methods for
authentication and non-repudiation, and encryption
technologies. When deciding on such items, the parties should specify the procedure to be followed. The
parties may also define a
certain protection technology to be used against internal and external security

threats, in order to prevent


documents from being intercepted.
Other communications if
any, be it from the parties to
the tribunal or between the
parties with copy to the tribunal, from tribunal to the
parties, can be handled by
e-mail or fax.

Hearings

In videoconferencing, a
set of guidelines have
to be observed. They
include providing a
list of the persons to
attend the conference, the situation of
the cameras (location, angle, rooms in
which they are to be
installed), the identity of all persons who
are in the same room as the
participants, the authentication of the identity of the participants who are not known
by another trustworthy participant, the documents to
be shown, etc.

Deliberations between arbitrators

The arbitrators are free to


decide how they intend to
organize their deliberations
and in which form they will
hold them. The confidentiality and other aspects likely
to occur in the deliberations
OUR MEDIATOR FEB

51

have to be discussed between the arbitrator and the


parties prior to the deliberations to the arbitration. To the
effect of provisions regarding the drafting of the award
to made electronically. The
parties and the arbitrators
should agree on a protocol
for protecting against interception (password-protected
documents, encryption, etc).

Form and notification of


the award

An arbitral award should always be sent in paper form.


But in advance a copy of the
award may be sent in electronic format. As such the
absence of paper may lead
to difficulties at the stage of
enforcement or recognition,
such safety measure has to
be implemented at low cost,
the aforesaid norm should
be complied though entire
online process seems an at-

tractive concept.

Conclusion

As dispute resolution is one


of the most rapidly developing fields of IT usage, various IT solutions may be put
to good use in traditional
arbitral proceedings. The issue is practice oriented and
suggesting for the standard
forms for the use of IT in
arbitration. The topic wants
to inculcate a confidence in
respect of the practitioners
who are reluctant to use IT in
arbitration so far as they are
nursing dubious concerns
about such technology introduction in the quasi-judicial
process which may jeopardize procedural rights and
create grounds for useless
procedural complications or
even cancellation of arbitral
awards. But far from these
suspicious observations, the
emergence and develop-

ment of IT tools for dispute


resolution will change the
conduct of domestic as well
as international commercial proceedings. The internet has changed the way in
which the global commerce
operates. The web has
shaped business standards,
time becomes increasingly
shorter and delays are increasingly less tolerated.
Hence the opposition to the
implementation of IT in arbitration process may be significantly alleviated by the
use of IT tools to accelerate
the arbitral process, provided this is done in such a
fashion that procedural guarantees are safeguarded and
the quality of justice is not
adversely affected.

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

52

ful. In this respect they must


voluntarily be ready to undergo the changes to attune
to the whims and fancies of
the respective spouses or at
least deliberately pretends
to come in terms with each
other in respect of the issues
where there may be a tendency of disputes cropping
up. An introvert never interested to visit
friends
or relatives

DISSECTION

JOSHY GEORGE

A woman looks ahead to get


herself and her children protected by her husband. She
also looks forward to find
economic

stability

with life comforts.


Joshy George

along

ne can do wonders, once he


kept
away
from bad temper or huff
and interference in others
matters Robin Sharma
The divergence in the personalities of the man and
woman is the root cause for
the discontented family life
of a married couple. Man
who possesses a distinctive
personality always longs for
his partner to come in terms
with him. If he cannot succeed, he may get mad, even
do not mind show his muscle power over his partner.
If the outcome does seem
to be negative, there will be
ray of frustration all over his
life and that may reflect in
his conjugal life too. It is true
and experimented fact that
an introvert cannot be transformed into an extrovert.
This reality might have been
accepted by the society as a
whole.
Recognizing this fact, a man

and

woman
must try to build their conjugal life upon a common
attitude they possess. They
may get an opportunity to
make their relationship more
affectionate and thus making
their relationship most fruit-

whereas
an extrovert
accompanies his/
her partner to visit each
others friends and relatives
or involve in any activities
preferred by respective partners.
Definition of Man in respect
of family life
So many reports on the scientific studies about the men
and women have already

been published.
Generally man always wants
to get respected so far he is
nursing himself a belief that
he is powerful and majestic and he wishes him to be
termed in such a fashion by
the society.
It is ironical to say that he
may not have anything in
him which calls for any attraction that inspires others
to respect him. Still he
is such a creation
always yearning
praises and admirations. He
always longs
for
motivations. He
wishes others to
say that he is such a
person beyond everybodys
imagination. Even he does
nt like to be treated as a
failure in respect of his activities by anybody, rather he
would be offended in case
his better half finds reasons
to blame him.
Definition of Woman in respect of a family life
Majority of the women would
like to be controlled by their
husbands and a woman
would like to be fascinated
by her husband and find a
man in him. It is true that in
the modern ages women folk
who have been succeeded

to make earnings, used to be


independent but their inherent feature always prompts
her to be succumbed to the
warmth and the affection of
her man.
Though they have strong
mental power, their inherent
physical features let her find
relief in her man rather than
trying to dictate him.
Yet we can find some immature and callous women
who are being dominated
with mans hormones may
make efforts to bring their
husbands to their terms
and dancing to her tunes.
This group used to possess
a mans traits rather than
having soft expressions of a
woman.
As far as man is concerned
he does not want to be confined to a single woman, but
to blend with other woman
folk of his choice one by one.
A successful woman win the
race when she could draw
the attention of her man towards her physical and mental appeal without letting him
think of any woman other
than her.
A man takes decision after a
long trial of proceedings of
his brain, but a woman out
of her intrinsic nature could
able to take a decision within a matter of minutes maxOUR MEDIATOR FEB

55

imum. This attitude of the


woman have been traced in
the experiments conducted
in the last century.
What a man expects from
his wife/woman
When a man gets back home
after his hectic activities,
he longs for pleasure and
appreciation from his wife
apart from her sincere support throughout. He desires
to make himself delighted
on observing his wifes face
absorbing or atleast smiling
when he comes back
home after his work.
Atleast he wants her
never to be tough towards him though she
may have some differences with him or she
is little bit reluctant to
comply with him. The ideal wife in his concept is a
woman who have very few
complaints. If she interacts
with her husband with more
complaints tends to get hated by her husband is a well
known fact. Rather she is
supposed to expend in accordance with the income.
These virtues of woman will
be the fascinating features
that a husband used to expect from his wife.
What a woman expects from
her husband/man

A woman looks ahead to get


herself and her children protected by her husband. She
also looks forward to find
economic stability along with
life comforts. The fundamental thing that a woman used
to nurse is that her identity
should be recognized by her
husband. She never likes to
get blamed for each and her
activities even though her
man is not inclined to encourage her in
her

activities.
But she seldom expects
him to be a critic always but
anticipate atleast some admiration. She always wants
to see him to be with her and
get her deserving part as
the spouse and dominating
associate in the family subject to the control of her husband. She always wants her
spouse to be charming and
delighted.

It is also to be borne in mind


that the marriage never
makes a wife or husband
a model wife or husband in
the society. The spouses are
supposed to be combine together and as a result some
matters would be realised by
them.
The initial days immediately after marriage calls for
physical attraction from both
sides. But after this sweet
period, they should comprehend the importance of
conjugal life with utmost
sincerity. They should realise the strength and
weakness of each partner and above all they
should not make any
reservation in respect
of making their married life a success
by satisfying each
others aspirations and happiness. Their sincere efforts
to get united at any cost and
comprehending each other
would be the fine qualities
which inspires the couple to
go for success in leading the
married life a success.
Rather than physical attraction, there should be rational
application of their attitudes
which should lead to a state
of intimacy. This would
pave a means to take responOUR MEDIATOR FEB

56

sibilities of their conjugal life along with


the
accountability
of taking care of the
needs and desires of

both partners. With


these virtues forms
a triangle of love and
a ff e c t i o n
b e -

tween the spouses


and it tends to form
a solid foundation for
their married

life makes their family more brittle and


never get yielded to
any internal or external devastation.

LAWYERS & ADR

Adv. Aliyar, High Court of Kerala

pportunities in alterna-

offering processes such as

tive dispute resolution

mediation, arbitration, and

and the ethical and

early neutral evaluation, have

practice challenges for the pro-

moved beyond the experi-

fession in this field.

mentation stage and become

tion is that mediation in ADR

institutionalized. ADR process-

is a non-adversarial process;

Alternatives to the court adju-

es are no longer offered to

through which each party is

dication of disputes generally

litigants simply as better way

encourage to take responsibili-

have been considered a wel-

in many situations, they are

ty for resolving the dispute.

come corrective to the Indian

the ideal alternative to access

Lawyers have multiple roles

Judicial system. Alternative

to adjudication, and as courts

in ADR legal practice. First,

Dispute Resolution (ADR) is a

regularly suggest and require

lawyers engage with clients,

term that includes a wide vari-

parties to participate in some

courts, and judges, as well as

ety of processes for managing

form of ADR before they may

with each other. Lawyers coun-

or resolving disputes that differ

proceed to trial.

sel clients about the merits

in kind and scope from judicial

The traditional role of the law-

of ADR processes, advocate

adjudication. But ADR is more

yers has been to represent the

for and accompany them in

than simply an alternative or

interests of his or her client, by

these processes, and review

corrective to the existing court

advising the client regarding

and help implement the agree-

structure. In many situations,

procedure and substantive

ments that clients make in

ADR offers lawyers a better

law, counselling the client, and

ADR. In some cases, lawyers

way to practice law, presenting

managing the legal process

may act as either third-party

opportunities for problem solv-

for the client. While the law-

neutrals or as partisan advo-

ing, peacemaking, and respon-

yers will continue to perform

cates for clients. Finally law-

siveness to clients needs and

each of these traditions in the

yers are often in a professional

interests that do not exist in

mediation process, the manner

relationship with each other

traditional legal practice.

and the context in which those

when participating in ADR

Today, court-connected or

functions are performed will

processes.

sponsored ADR programs,

be different. The vital distinc-

Whether lawyers act as

third-party neutrals
in arbitration or mediation,
advise clients about their ADR
options, represent them in
ADR proceedings, or teach
law students about these
roles, they are challenged by
the question:What system of
ethics governs?. The question becomes complex when
lawyers acknowledge that
ADR is a multi-disciplinary field with
many non-law-

ing with the mediation of the

come. The statistics of suc-

concerned issues. But it has to

cess vary between 60% and

borne in mind that such ADR

90% according to the results

process or mediation probably

of various ADR surveys. This

cares for low volume disputes

contracts with the broad 50%

or minor uncounted issues.

prospect of success/failure in

Institutional ADR process

litigation.

relies more on the competence

For a trial lawyer a process

of the trained Lawyers rather

which delivers a realistic pros-

than the concerned profes-

pect of a satisfying outcome

sional (non-lawyers) and they

to a client not only avoids the

would be summoned to assist

embarrassment of losing the

the lawyers who mediate the

clients case (and possibly also

sessions in case of the pres-

the client); it presents the pros-

ence of any technical crisis in

pect of a satisfied client and

the issue. Institutions or ADR

strengthened ongoing lawyer/

forums empanels more trained

client relationship.

lawyers comparatively and the

In mediation neither side loses.

other professionals would be

Both sides enjoy the common

qualified to associate or assist

prospect of an agreed out-

in respect of any complicated

come. The win/win is in the

technical problems crop up in

fact of the resolution not the

the dispute.

terms of it. In sharp contrast to

The trial lawyers are all too

litigation, negotiated resolution

well aware of the risks


of loss in court
and the consequent prospect

ADR trained professionals or


experts in concerned subject
matter, irrespective of the fact
that whether the third party
who is supposed to mediate is
a lawyer, are capable of deal-

For an experienced commercial lawyer, the best things


about mediation are the follow-

dis-

ing.
The process gives the lawyer
and his client much better con-

particularly in
mediation. It is true that the

on terms they have agreed.

of a

yer participants
the segment of

brings closure for both parties

trol over the outcome and his


tressed client. As against this,

professional skills as a lawyer

ADR and in particular medi-

and negotiator can be utilised

ation presents a very strong

to full advantage for the benefit

possibility of settlement in

of his client, in a way that is

which case, of course, both

completely visible to the client.

of the disputing parties have


achieved a successful out-

The range of solutions allows


OUR MEDIATOR FEB

59

lawyer and his clients to be

savings of management time;

form of counsel for the party or

ment, if possible in a mediation

be learned from the deposi-

render more efficient future

creative, so he (lawyer) can

potential for creative solutions;

in the form of a mediator, he

with both parties agreeing

tion, and work can be done to

discovery and trial preparation.

come up with possibilities that

and more. However, lawyers

may not having any problems

mutually, there is room for both

improve the clients demeanor

technically would be well out-

should also consider how

to the effect of encountering

parties can assimilate and

under examination.

Mediator is worthy of careful

side the confines of the dispute

mediation benefits the law-

with the paucity of the cas-

assess the exchanges each

consideration for the lawyers

and beyond what a Court could

yers themselves, even if the

es. These lawyers could well

other.

provides every lawyer with

possibly give the client, but

mediation does not result in

establish their reputation and

a chance to see how his/her

lawyers routinely consult pro-

those possible solutions can

settlement and the case must

goodwill in the profession so

tion format, each party emerg-

client interacts and reacts in

fessional colleagues, family,

offer elements that are critical

eventually go to trial.

far as they are bent on resolv-

es from media-

and friends as to

to the commercial realities.

Here are some thoughts as to

ing cases reasonably in both

tion with a clear

key issues and

why mediation provides signifi-

forms and taking up the cases

understanding

ultimate case

Indeed, the resolution of the

cant benefits to trial lawyers:

standing in que. The ultimate

of all issues and

value. However,

dispute, and the journey to that

Job Satisfaction along with

result is that the lawyers would

analysis of all

such sounding

resolution, can often be a fa-

opportunity in enhancing ratio

professionally graceful with

possible results.

boards, though

cilitator to a better and deeper

of earning

their mind relishing with satis-

Thus, it

well-intended,

commercial relationship be-

Lawyers with medium

faction as they are rendering a

is very unlikely

want to please

tween the client and the other

level and budding profession-

good sort of services and apart

that trial will yield

and support the

side, and also most importantly

als may have

from that they could earn like

some result or

lawyer asking for

between lawyer and his

anything and there is definite-

development that

their opinions.

client. The time he (law-

ly no room for any frustration,

had not been anticipated and

the relatively relaxed environ-

Further, the facts and argu-

yer) spend together in the

guilty prick, complex etc.

discussed at mediation. There-

ment of a mediation. Mediation

ments offered to them for con-

mediation can give him as

Mediation helps the lawyer

fore, it is unlikely that a party

offers an opportunity to learn

sideration are all coming from

an adviser valuable insights

& Client understanding the

will be able to challenge his/

whether behavioral corrections

just one side, notwithstanding

into the clients approach and

opportunity

her own lawyer with a com-

are in order if the case needs

genuine attempts at making

his business. Those insights

ment like, You never told me

to proceed to trial.

a balanced presentation. By

give the lawyer an incredible

been taken to mediation,

that!

Clarifies the issues in dispute,

comparison, mediation pro-

the lawyer and the client might

Provides an audition opportu-

making future discovery and

vides an environment hosted

advantage over other potential

some problems with

If the case had not

Whatever the media-

Similarly, mediation

As cases develop,

legal representatives.

their volume of practice and

never have been given the

nity for parties and lawyers in

trial preparation much more

by someone who is experi-

The benefits of taking cas-

it has become a customary

opportunity to consider the

case of trial forthcoming

efficient

enced in litigation matters, who

es to mediation (rather than

attitude of an advocate to hang

other sides best proposal. On

is neutral, and who consid-

by-passing mediation and

on to the limited cases for

the other hand after a poor trial

provide few benefits to the

that does not assist the law-

ers the positions of both (all)

proceeding directly to trial) are

months extending to years on

result, the lawyer would not be

deponent, they do provide

yers in better understanding

parties to a mediation. The

typically analyzed as related

the apprehension that they will

able to remind the client that

an opportunity for client and

the other sides position on the

mediator is therefore able to

to the parties; e.g., risk elim-

find difficult to meet the both

the client chose to reject the

lawyer alike to evaluate how

issues and, indeed, which is-

offer pre-trial perspectives that

ination; savings of attorneys

ends so far they have to wait

other sides best offer and take

the client performs under

sues are in dispute and which

are unique within the litigation

fees and litigation expenses;

like hornbills to get another

his/her chance at trial.

examination by the other law-

are not. Even if a mediation is

process. The mediator has no

ability to begin looking forward

case. If a lawyer is reasonable

Reduces risk of ever hearing,

yer. If the deponent displays

unsuccessful in resolving the

history with the case and no

rather than back; avoidance

to adopt the mediation as a

You never told me that!

attitude or otherwise makes a

case, one of its great benefits

interest in the outcome. There-

of the stress of going to trial;

part of his career either in the

bad appearance, lessons can

is to simplify, streamline, and

fore, feedback from the media-

The Joint session seg-

Although depositions

It is the rare mediation

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

61

tor can be received as candid,

tor is the most non-threatening

same matter went to trial. But

terestingly, even for those par-

articulate their interests,

ents and advising them before,

unbiased, and meaningful.

and credible vehicle for con-

there is also new opportuni-

ticipants who had resolved no

suggest solutions and make

during and after. Lawyers, af-

Obviously, the mediators

veying the tough news about

ty for more clients (including

issues in the mediation, most

immediate decisions about

ter all, are experienced negoti-

thoughts and impressions can

difficult issues and case value.

those who might never before

of them would still choose to

resolutions that can be imple-

ators. They know how to clarify

be rejected by the lawyers and

Of course, it is helpful for the

have stepped inside a lawyers

mediate a future dispute.

mented quickly. Although this

the issues. They understand

parties, but most often they are

lawyer to privately inform the

office), greater file inventory

There is more to this than

makes lawyers understand-

the legal aspects of clients

worthy of careful consideration.

mediator of that role rather

and recoverable fees.

the cost of litigation. People

ably nervous for their clients, it

interests. They know how to

The mediator is a blessing in

than counting on the mediator

Even clients who retain law-

choose mediation because

does have the effect of making

articulate their goals persua-

disguise

to take the lead without such a

yers to pursue litigation some-

their trust in and satisfaction

mediation much more attuned

sively, taking into account the

cue.

times settle for less than they

with imposed judicial resolu-

to clients own choices than a

strength of other perspectives.

Too often, lawyers weigh

may be entitled to, or even

tions has declined and be-

negotiation process controlled

They are well qualified to

the appropriateness of me-

withdraw completely rather

cause they want more control

by lawyers.

make risk assessments. They

diation against their sense

than risk the costs of a lengthy

over the outcome.

Is this bad news for lawyers?.

can warn clients of the poten-

of whether mediation will

trial and an unpredictable

Mediation to resolve legal

If lawyers take the

result in final settlement.

outcome. If the alternative of a

disputes is a method of prob-

time to un-

That gauge is wrong for at

mediated solution was offered

lem-solving that relies on

derstand the

how to draft written

least two reasons. First,

to those clients with no as-

consent of the parties. For

motivation of

agreements that not

it is often true that cases

sumption of risk other than the

this reason, it is more attuned

only incorporate the

expected not to settle in

cost of the mediation, these

to self-determination than

spirit of the consent,

mediation do resolve at

clients might well continue to

is a trial resulting in a

but that have sufficient

or shortly after (and because

retain the lawyer to help effect

solution imposed by a

detail to avoid future prob-

evaluation of the case differs

of) the mediation. Second, as

a good mediated result. If law-

judge.

from the clients evaluation.

discussed above, there is no

yers are involved in the medi-

Lawyers reading this

clients

For litigators who may not yet

The case may have looked

such thing as a failed media-

ation process, they may even

far may well be asking

and the

see mediation as an integral

strong at the time of intake,

tion because of the collateral

increase their billable work on

themselves: So whats

but, with the development of

benefits of participating in the

a file.

new? Negotiation has

investigation and formal dis-

process.

Happy clients are good for

always been part of what a

mediation, there are many

answer to the question: Whats

covery, the claims or defences

If lawyers support and assist

business. If mediation is

good lawyer does for a client.

reasons to see mediation as

in it for lawyers? Mediation is

may seem weaker than origi-

clients in choosing mediation

successful, lawyers are likely

Most court cases settle without

an opportunity, not a threat.

an option to move along the

nally thought. The question is,

as an alternative to litigation

to have more satisfied and

the need of mediation. But

how does a lawyer gracefully

and are seen as commit-

better-served clients. Recently

there is a difference. Mediation

Lawyers add value to me-

going anywhere and that bring

deliver that bad news to his/

ted to doing so there is

surveyed disclosed that, even

offers something different than

diation for their clients and

out all of a lawyers capacity

her client? If the lawyer under-

the potential for lawyers to

when parties had not solved

the traditional negotiation be-

there are many opportunities

to procrastinate. Place them in

takes to explain that the case

increase business. Both client

any or all issues in mediation,

tween lawyers, often occurring

to expand the client base. In

the lap of a mediator and see

has taken on a significantly

and lawyer win financially from

they reported high satisfaction

on the proverbial courthouse

many mediations, lawyers

what happens. At least, youll

different value than originally

successful mediation. For

with the conduct of the medi-

steps. Mediation involves

are present to support clients.

be doing something about

thought, there is great risk that

the lawyer who is counsel to

ation. Most of the participants

the client directly in the pro-

Even when not present at the

them. And you never know.

the client will think the lawyer is

clients in mediation, it is true

said they would choose to

cess of negotiating. Clients

mediation, lawyers have a role

Mediation does from time to

weak and/or will ask, Whose

there will often be fewer bill-

mediate again in any case me-

themselves define the issues,

to play in preparing their cli-

time work miracles.

side are you on? The media-

able hours per file than if the

diation did nt yield result. In-

Sometimes, a lawyers

tial downside of proposed


agreements. They know

lems.

importance of

part of their practice, there


is another, more immediate

dog files those that are not

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

63

HAPPY DAYS

Our MEDIATOR
It is not unusual. Quite sensible.
Do not keep a wrong notion in your mind that most
unhappy marriages becoming happy again is a remote
possibility. It is true, some
divorces are necessary,
some marriages can be
repaired. They can seek
the assistance of some
guidance which
they gather from
the related books or
some other resources to help improve
their marriages.
Other participate in
marriage education,
classes to improve
their relationship skills. Still
others seek counseling from
professional counselors or
therapists, or seek help from
a trusted religious guide.
But it would be ideal if any

couple finds their


marriages are at rocks, one
would take initiative immediately to take his or her partner along
with

him or her to a mediator


who can help them improve
the relationship with the assistance of the professional
counselor or therapist or

religious scholar
so that an agreement will be
worked out where there will
be no further bickering in
the relationship if the couple
can stick it out or if
they are having children and this meeting
with mediator and
others would facilitate
a strong bondage
in the relationship
between the spouses. A mediator as a
facilitator can extend
his support to the
couple to get in terms
with each other, he would
make the couple find every
doors are opened for getting patched up rather than
going for a drastic divorce.
Hence a mediator can also

act as
social being
facilitating the
coupe getting associated
keeping all their hostilities at
bay.
Of course, our Mediator
doesnt know your situation.
Only we can decide what is
best for you and your family.
(And maybe this decision
has been forced on you by
your spouse.) We do hope,
however, that you will give
serious thought to the possibility of trying to strengthen
their marriage rather than
ending it.
We undertake this challenge so far it has become
common now a days some
of the divorced individuals
express regret that they
and their ex-spouse did not
work harder to try to save

their marriage, and divorce,


in general, does not make
life better. We feel it may
be valuable for you to be
aware of the information to
help you building a healthier
relationship in the future.
The Way Out
Marriage Education Classes
presided over by Therapists
Marriages dont come with
an instruction manual, but
maybe it
would
help if
they
did. It
seems
like you
have to go
through some
formal training for
just about any license
you getexcept a marriage license. A good piece
of news is that those who

have married more recently


apparently are more likely
to have had some kind of
preparation for marriage.
Still in India most of the
people who are ready to
get married do not invest in
formal preparation for marriage. Probably most are unaware
of the

or to

many
resources
available
to help them
form and sustain a healthy,
happy marriage,
repair a struggling
OUR MEDIATOR FEB

65

marriage.
In Kerala we rarely see the
marriage education classes
inspite of some social activists effort to initiate one or
two here and there. But serious efforts are being taken
by psychologists and NGOs
to make the venture a success and so many clinics
have been initiated recently
with the increase of divorce
in the state. Some who take
marriage education classes
from the part of the psychologists and therapists in the
respective clinics are just
trying to tune
up
relationship
to prevent
serious
problems.
Others are
experiencing serious
problems
and have
considered
divorce.
And
many
participants
are in
between,
motivated to attend the
class to help them because
of some current concerns
but not thinking seriously

about divorce. It is understood that these types of


sessions in the clinics, the
focus is on learning skills,
attitudes, behaviours, and
principles that can strengthen and support an intimate
and caring relationship. In
most classes, thee is a lot
of emphasis on discovering
the key ingredients for good
communication and problem
solving and practicing goods
communication skills. Some,
but not all, classes take on
specific topics like dealing
with in-laws, managing
money, or building a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. But again the classes
are different from marriage
counselling that is done
one-on-one or in
a small

group
with
therapist;
marriage education does

not deal openly with an individuals or couples private


issues.
In Kerala different religions
have taken responsibilities
in conducting preparatory
classes for those who are
getting ready to get married.
To some extent this is successful. The respective religious forums to this effect
should also take into account the scientific aspects
of the marriage along with
the basic tradition values
of the institution of marriages. Hence these types of
religious efforts have to be
supported by therapists too.
From a study of those
attending the marriage
relationship classes in USA
it was learnt that
those who take
marriage and
relationship education class almost
always report that they
enjoyed the class and
felt that it helped their marriage. So what does the scientific research show? Can
marriage education classes
help coupleseven struggling onesimprove their
marriages? A lot of research
has been done on this
question. Many marriage
education programs have

been scientifically evaluated


over the past 30 years. A
study that reviewed all of the
evaluation research on the
effectiveness of marriage
and relationship education
concluded that it was helpful
in strengthening communication and problem-solving
skills and improving marital
satisfaction for both men
and women. So there is
pretty good evidence that
marriage education can be
helpful for couples. Also,
research suggests that the
effectiveness of marriage
education doesnt wear off
after just a couple of weeks;
couples retain the skills they
learned, at least for a while.
Of course, these are averages. Some couples may
not benefit much from marriage education, but others
benefit a great deal. Only
a few studies have looked
specifically at the effectiveness of marriage education for couples who are in
serious distress and may be
thinking about divorce, but
these few studies suggest
that distressed couple can
benefit from marriage education.
Overall, marriage education
is able to help many couples build and maintain a

healthier and happier


marriage.
Counselling
for
marriage
break downs
For couples
with serious
relationship
problems,
marriage
education
classes may
not be enough or even
appropriate. Individuals
and couples who are thinking about divorce should
seriously consider seeing
a marriage counsellor or
therapist.
One thing many people worry about, however, is how
to choose a good therapist;
not all therapists are created equal when it comes to
working on your marriage.

Find a counsellor
or therapist with education
and experience in couples
therapy.

Choose a counsellor
or therapist who is committed to helping you save your
marriage. An effective couples therapist focuses on

the couple as a
unit, rather than
as

individuals.

Makesure
your
counsellor
or therapist has
a clear plan of
action that is followed
through. Effective marital
therapy requires structure
and direction.

Counsellor should
focus on changing emotions
and thoughts, rather than
just teaching communication
and other skills.

Consider working
with religious leaders or
counsellors. Many people
prefer to work with religious
leaders or counsellors because they are more confident that they share their
values.

Consider working
with religious leaders or
counsellors. Many people
prefer to work with religious
leaders or counsellors be-

cause they are more confident that they share their


values.
Sessions with skilled Mediators assisted by Counsellors
or Therapists.
Reconciliation is a process
of getting back together that requires
the full participation
of both spouses.
The rare experience of the couples
attending this type
of interaction under
a mediator during
a break down of a
marriage is fairly
motivating. The
couple who are
about to get separated and leading
to a stage of divorce used to be
subjected to the
trauma of tensions
and difficulties, may
realize the negative
aspects of the divorce when
they visit with the opposite
spouse the mediation forum
or alone. They may understand the reconciliation their
top priority. Commitment
was essential and demonstrated by their actions:
accepting responsibility for
their mistakes, changing be-

haviour and offering forgiveness. They must realise the


personal history they had
built together that included
their children, all they had
invested in the relationship,
and their years of friendship.
They acknowledged the

strengths in their relationship and cut out anything


that would not aid reconciliation. The mediator can do
wonders and his influence
would lead the couple realise the above factors.
In the mediation forum the
estranged couple would be
summoned when they are

heading for divorce and their


petition is pending in the
family court. At the time of
the eve of the divorce the
wife who was forced by her
family to get engaged with
another man and she almost
yielded to their pressures.
The mediator
while interacting
with her in the
caucus (private
session) understood that she
was considering remarrying
another person.
From her it was
learnt by the
counsellor who
was assisting the
Mediator that the
present separation does not
make sense for
the couple. The
Mediator and the
counsellor separately and jointly
could able to persuade the
wife that no relationship is
perfect and who knows this
new prospective partner
have the same characteristics that created conflict
with her separated spouse.
The other possibility is that
new relationship may have
some other problems that

did not exist in her breaking


relationship. It was advised
by the mediator to talk with
her present husband before
getting divorced and the mediator arranged a meeting
of the both alone and in the
presence of the mediator
and counsellor and to everybodys surprise the couple
was able to reconcile and
remarry. Their children were
elated on witnessing that
their parent have patched
up their differences and
happily remarried for many
years.
Hence this process would
be a blessing for those
couple who are decided to
get divorced. It is ideal for
the couple to come forward when they face with
two or three issues already
cropped up between them
so that the issue could get
tackled easily. But the advantage of the mediation
excels when the dispute
almost in a stage of their
separation so far as their
issues diagnosed, analysed
and dissected so as to get
healed by the methods
adopted in three stages.
A therapist or counsellor
would deal with the couple
in the first stage and again
the counsellor and medi-

ator in the second stage


and finally the mediator
and counsellor again to
release the couple out of
their pre-occupied thoughts
and pandemonium in their
sub-conscious minds.
For those who are preparing
marriage would be considered for attending
the Marriage Preparation Classes with
the association of
respective religious
bodies and for those
who are facing the
trauma of difficulties and problems
during the married life
would be considered for the
counselling sessions comprising the skilled counsellors or psychologists along
with the reputed therapists
and supported by the respective religious scholars
and for the couple who are
at the brim of the divorce
would be considered for
Mediation combined with
Counselling along with the
association of religious
scholars if necessary. Finally for those who already got
divorced realising their folly
and coming back for a patch
up or remarriage would be
assisted by the mediator
and counsellor in a suitable

platform which would facilitate the couple do not fall


into a stage of bondage
aiming for prosperity and
never get subjected to any
internal strife or squabbling.
Hence there is no room for
an ordeal in the name of sacred

institution like marriage. But


everybody can hope that
marriage would last for good
inspite of any type of unrest
and instability (to the effect
of relationship) between the
couples
In Ernakulam District, Kerala in one NGO under the
name and banner of Association for Mediation and Arbitration (AMA), this method
have already been tried and
their track is successful.

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

69

PERSPECTIVE OF A MEDIATOR

here is a question
still remain to get answered as we are
plunged in the difficulties
raised as a result of weak
goals and numerous doubts
in our life. We are not good
decision makers. The questions posing us are whether
we have to satisfy others?
Or our own physical desires?
Or requirements of the metaphysical region where we
tends to resort while we are
in depression?. The question
is that whether we could able
to obtain contentment from
among the above?.
There are more questions,
not questions but severe
tribulations. Whether we
have to satisfy our inherent
requirements? Or whether
fulfilling the whims of others
at the cost of satisfying our

own desires. Again there are


hurdles forthcoming. In case
we decide to satisfy the society, which segment of that
particular society shall get
satisfied?. It would be ideal
to brief an old popular story. The story of an old man
and a young boy. The oldman travelling above a donkey along with a young boy
walking drew criticism from
women folk. When they tried
to placate the irritated women folk, where young boy
above the donkey and old
man perspiring by walk, the
men happened to witness
such scene they became upset and as such both have
decided to travel by sitting
above donkey it annoyed the
animal lovers and finally both
have started walking carrying the donkey to reach the

destination. The old man told


the young boy if we go like
this we would get exhausted
and moreover others would
call us nuts. So my boy ! it
would be hard to earn others
appeasement.
There is a comparative study
between two persons. One
knows his goal. He knows
the way to attain the goal.
He possess both pleasure
and contentment. The other
does not know the way even
though he has a goal. He selected a way which is never
destined to make him attaining the goal. The first referred
person is supposed to be
happy and contented about
his deeds and his transactions with others. He is not
afraid of the terrible consequences. He is free from the
conflicts of interests. The in-

ner tensions never damage


his individuality. Whether I
would do it or that?. There is
no uncertainties as far as he
is concerned.
The reasons behind the
strains are usually the regret
about the past, rage against
the present and the concern
about the future. Sometimes
human beings may used to
curse themselves by saying
that it would have been different had I been there or it
could have been avoided had
I executed the things properly etc. Truly, the thoughts like
these would have been and
could have been along with

usage like had I been there


etc.
definitely are some
head-ache deserving no resolutions at all.
That is way the psychologists
and sociologists insist that
the pains of the past shall be
forgotten and to say in plain
language human beings are
never the prisoners of the
past. Men shall align and
compromise with todays
realities. We cannot expect
about the return of the past.
But unfortunately human beings used to regret over the
gone past. This attitude automatically drags humans
into the dearth of nightmar-

ish moments. He finds logic


in getting subjugated to his
emotions rather than maintaining his sensibility. Hence
he may be persuaded by the
above logic to rush with the
narrow thoughts. But on the
way he finds everybody who
nurses animosity towards
him. The result is that he naturally becomes cantankerous and dispute craze. He
weighs more options for

OUR MEDIATOR FEB

71