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You probably shouldnt read this to your children.


Bullies Always Win! / by David Garrett

Copyright 2016 by David Garrett
Illustrations by Paul Windle
Produced by Miniature Studios
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information
retrevial system in any form or by any means graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher. The story, all names,
characters, and incidents portrayed in this book are fictitious. No identification with actual persons,
places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Special thanks to Miranda Javid, Andrea Beckum, and to my lovely wife, Julia Perez.
First U.S. Edition 2016
ISBN 978-0-9977160-0-9 Hardcover
Library of Congress Control Number 2016910054
Printed in the United States of America
16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7
Miniature Studios
8605 Santa Monica Boulevard, Suite 19794
Los Angeles, California 90069
United States of America
(310) 929-7401
Ordering Information:
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and others. For details, please contact the publisher at the address above.

For my beautiful daughters,

Micaela and Penelope.
May your lives be filled
with thoughtfulness
and nuance.

Little Billy woke up one morning,

slipped out of his bed* and got
ready for school.

* Just so you understand, it was the softest, most luxurious bed youve ever seen, folks.Very, very soft, ok?

He didnt get enough sleep the

night before, and that put him
in a bad mood.

He couldnt get his hair to look

right, and that put him in an
even worse mood.

On his way to school, Billy ran into Joey.

Joey was a regular kid, he wasnt rich like Billy.

Billy liked to boss Joey around.

Billy pretended to agree with
Joey to make Joey feel smart.
And Billy pretended to be tough
so Joey would feel safe*.

Joey liked Billy because

Billy always seemed to win
at everything, and that
made Joey feel less afraid.

he felt like he
wasnt very
he felt like he
wasnt very
And sometimes,
he just felt
afraid of almost

* To be honest with you, Billy thought Joey was a total loser, a stiff. Basically a disaster, frankly.

Billy knew that if he made

Martha feel bad, it would
make him feel better about
his weird hair.

At the bus stop, Billy and Joey saw Martha.

Hi Joey, said Martha.
Hi Martha, said Joey.
Martha didnt say hi to Billy, because Billy
was mean to her sometimes. But she did
notice that Billys hair was a little weird.

Martha is a fat, ugly, pig!

shouted Billy, And very
flat-chested.Nobody will
ever want to be her friend.

Billy didnt
like it when
Martha didnt
say hi to him.

Martha started to
cry. Billy stared at
Joey until Joey said
Yeah, youre fat.

Martha ran
away. She felt
really sad.

Making fun of Martha made Billy feel

better about himself. Joey was a little

I dont think you are supposed to say that to girls,

said Joey.

If the president says

it, said Billy, it
must be ok.

Youre right, agreed Joey.

Bullies always win.

And they walked

to school.

In English class, Billy was having

trouble with long sentences. He
always got lost halfway through
and said words that didnt make
any sense.

Dont worry Billy, said

Mr. Chavez. Im sure
you will get it if you try
a little harder.

Billy felt bad about

his trouble with long
sentences. He didnt
like feeling bad.

Im really smart, ok?

shouted Billy.* Mexicans
are just rapists and drug
dealers. Go back to Mexico!

* Billy knows words, ok? He has the best words. And a very good brain, believe me.

You shouldnt say things like

that, Billy, said Mr. Chavez.

If the president say it,

said Billy it must be
all right.

He was feeling
better about
himself already.

Im not even Mexican,

said Mr. Chavez,
Im a Hoosier!

Im being treated
very badly. shouted
Billy. People cant
even believe it. He
stared at Joey.

Yeah, go back to
Mexico, said Joey
softly. Bullies
always win.

During recess, Billy and Joey played

basketball. Billy had trouble grabbing the ball
because his fingers were short. That made
Billy mad.*
Hakeem wanted to join the team
and play.
Get him out of here! shouted
Billy. We cant let the terrorists in.

* I guarantee you theres no problem. I guarantee it.

You cant call me a terrorist just

because Im Muslim, said Hakeem.
If the president says it, said
Billy, Im sure its the truth.
Go away or Ill bomb the shit
out of your family.

Hakeem looked at Joey. Joey looked at Billy.

Yeah. Go away, whispered Joey. Just

until we know what the hell is going on.

Hakeem shook his head and

walked away. Joey felt a little bad.

But Billy felt much better

about his tiny hands now
that he made Hakeem sad.

Going on with what? asked Hakeem.

Joey chewed his lip.

Remember Joey, said Billy.

Bullies always win.

Billy and Joey finished the rest of the day at school.

They laughed at Johnny
because he wore glasses
and studied hard.

They told Theo that

his girlfriend was ugly.
They made fun of
Mark because he
was short.

And they called Meg a whore.

As long as they could make other people

feel bad, Joey didnt feel so bad about
being scared, and Billy didnt feel so bad
about his weird hair or his tiny,
short-fingered hands.

After school, Billy was waiting for his

mother outside.
A man in green clothes and one
leg was trying to get up on the
sidewalk with his crutches, and
he almost fell.

You shouldnt make fun of disabled people,

said the man.
If the president does
it said Billy, it must
be ok.
Just then, the mans
daughter walked up.
Her name was Lizzie.

Billy laughed and started

hopping up and down on
one leg, pretending he
only had one leg too, and
pretending to fall down.

Whats going on?

asked Lizzie.

Ha ha, said Billy,

pointing at the man.

Lets go, Lizzie, said the

man, shaking his head.
Bullies always win.

Ahhhh, lied Billy.

I dont know what I
said. I dont remember.

Billy smiled to himself and

started whistling a happy tune.
He learned that as long as he
could make other people feel
bad, he could always make
himself feel better.*

Most of all, he learned that if he was

mean to some people, other people like
Joey would like him even more.

And, he learned that being loud

was better than being smart.

Someday, Billy wanted to grow up to be

just like the president.


Wait, said Lizzie to her dad.

Billy blinked his eyes. He didnt
know that Lizzie and her dad
were still there.

Did you know my dad was

in the Army? said Lizzie
to Billy. Hes a war hero.
Like John McCain.

John McCain is a war hero because he got captured,

said Billy, rolling his eyes. Real heroes dont get
captured... or injured.
Dont ever say that again, said
Lizzie. She didnt look scared.
If the president says it
Billy started to say

But Lizzie cold-cocked

Billy in the jaw and he
stopped talking. Finally.

John McCain isnt a war hero because

he got captured, said Lizzie. Hes a
hero because of what he did after he
got captured.

Hes a hero because when they offered

to stop torturing him and send him
home he said no, so his soldiers could
go home sooner, said Lizzie. And
then they tortured him some more.

John McCain is a brave and

honorable man, just like my dad
said Lizzie, and you are just a
very silly, very small, pathetic
little bully.
Billy got so mad his face
turned bright orange!

Bingbingbing, mocked Billy bingbingbing.

Just then, Joey walked up.

What happened? said Joey.
Billy made fun of my dad
because he is disabled, said

If the president. Billy

started to sputter.
But Joey thought about
it a little bit.

Thats not ok, Joey said. No

matter what the President says.

Lizzie smiled.
Thats right, Joey, said
Lizzies dad, You should
try to be kind to everyone,
no matter where they come
from, or how they pray, or
if they look different from
you, or if they have disabilities.
I think I always knew that,
inside, smiled Joey.
Lizzie and Lizzies dad
smiled too.
And at that moment,
Joey decided he was
never going to try to feel
better by making other
people feel bad again.

Billy didnt understand

what was happening, so
he started shouting at
everyone until his face
turned even brighter

But this time, nobody

paid him any attention.
He must feel very small
inside to say all those
things, said Joey.
Someone must have
been very mean to him
when he was little, said
Lizzies dad.

Classic narcissist, said

Lizzie. Its really just

Lizzie and Joey were best friends from that day on, and
together they made friends with Martha, and Hakeem,
and Johnny, and Mark, and Theo, and Meg.

They even brought an apple for Mr. Chavez.

Billy never made fun of anyone for being

different ever again.

Well, actually he probably did because he

was an asshole.

But nobody listened to him anyway, and

he grew old feeling sad and empty inside,
like all bullies.

The end.

Printed in the United States of America

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