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…BECAUSE WHEN YOU’RE DEAD,
YOU’RE NO LONGER COMPETITION:
The Inner Circle Supplement to
Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead

By Neil Strauss

No names or identifying details have been changed to protect anybody.
…BECAUSE WHEN YOU’RE DEAD, YOU’RE NO LONGER COMPETITION.
Copyright © 2011 by Stately Plump Buck Mulligan, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this
book may be used, reproduced, or shared in any manner whatsoever without written permission.
THIS BOOK IS FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. NOT FOR LENDING, SALE, RE-SALE, OR DISTRIBUTION.
www.neilstrauss.com
Design and Production: Ingrid & Phoebe

In memory of the Neil Strauss VIP List, 2005-2011

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned So as to accept the one that is waiting for us.Joseph Campbell . -.

You may drop your hand now. think of The Game and its principles. In fulfillment of the above oath. we will make a solemn oath: We have read and understood The Game. We have read and understood Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead. let us join hands. but tested on perhaps the most famous. We want to enjoy more moments of truth. based on their own personal experiences. We have joined the Inner Circle. yet we recognize that these are not in Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead because only those with an abiding interest in and understanding of The Game will benefit from them. And we want a better understanding of the best routines in The Game. And we are ready for more. together.============== [A BRIEF INTRODUCTION] ============ Come. the following are interviews that weren’t included and . And we want to hear what these individuals. and high-status people in the world. jaded. And. which have been not just field-tested. And lower your voice. and acknowledge that this supplement is only to be read after completing the published book.

my immersion in the pickup community simply led to more interesting discussions on the subject of seduction. enjoy! .didn’t belong in Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead. open dialogue. because they are of interest mostly to Game readers. Often. Whether you’re reading for fun or because you want to try some of the material in your own life. Other times. I found that using the seduction techniques I’d learned and invented led to deeper rapport and connection with subjects I was interviewing—and thus a more intimate.

================= [THE GAME-RELATED] INTERVIEWS ================ .

and I’m less tolerant with the situation. so sex does have an inevitability about it. I often do just get naked. It’s: alienate-isolate-alienate-isolate. “You shouldn’t read it. Mystery sounds amazing.” That’s where I say. Brand: As long as you can dismantle their conditioning: “This is an adventure we’re having together. something lovely. and comes across as this man-child lumbering thing with this intoxicating gift. but in reference to the scarcity of life. [My radio co-host] Trevor said. it should be noted. just naturally? Brand: A lot of it I do intuitively. “We’re just aspects of a universe. If you bring an erect cock into it. took place several years before he met and married Katy Perry. Russell Brand: What I was astonished with was the faithfulness with the way you recreate it. “I just don’t want to be another conquest for this bloke.” he confessed. you’re taking it places. then sex is going to happen. I enjoyed your academic fascination with this world. We’re animals in the moment. where they think. Did you do a lot of the techniques already yourself. he instantly started talking about The Game: “I dreamt last night that I talked to these woman using techniques from the book. because you’ll become lethal. When it ended. There’s no point in talking to a woman unless you’ve isolated her from the group. The following interview. and then becoming it and the realization that it’s slightly bereft. like Mystery said. Once they’re stimulated to the place where they sense orgasm. facets of life. The difficulty in my situation is that I just want to meet women and fuck them.========= [THE RUSSELL BRAND METHOD] ========= When I first met Russell Brand at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.” What did you think of the concept of last-minute resistance? Brand: Right.” . I was slightly bereft. Leave this moment. It’s interesting: You use the idea of scarcity.

you start to think: What are you going to say to them that’s going to register? You know. But then I see people who date these sex symbols. it kicked off that impulse to love. and then started thinking. like with Lisa. so one has the propensity to endow them with qualities. and he says that we fall in love when we meet someone who we feel is the best possible person we can be with. ain’t ya?” It’s a great line. probably younger. Brand: You think. . So it’s like you need to find something that’s going to intrigue them. you’re beautiful is white noise. Eventually. Brand: It’s when they seem bigger than the machine that we fall in love. “You’re an annoying little creature. In a secular age where we’re no longer saved by religion and people will believe in anything. she’s beautiful. that becomes superficial. I was seeing Kate Moss for a little while. and once the chase is over.” Every time. “She’s lovely. You endow that person with love. almost like a neg. I need more threesomes.” The discussion later turns to the concept of demonstrating active disinterest .” For me it was more. I was probably never so particular as you outline in your book—“Oh. Brand: Particularly with beautiful women. isn’t it? They’ve been told that since they were seven years old. I need a black woman. I had an LTR [long-term relationship] with Kate. I can do better. given who we are.There’s a book called The Art of Loving by this psychoanalyst Erich Fromm. just like. . The fact that she was an icon who represented beauty beyond any personal relationship I could have with her. . they sometimes start to see the flaws instead of the beauty. your teeth are like this. Like Lisa [in The Game] distinguished herself by not responding to your game or techniques. “I need someone with bigger tits. we look for salvation and redemption in love.

then I suppose it emboldens you. I speak like I’m gonna be. “Oh I don’t like that mole” or something. Then I would win her back over. because I look like and talk like what I am. and how I am. would you like to be my girlfriend?” And then come toward them like I’m going to give them a cuddle. “Oh. I look like I’m gonna be promiscuous and fastmoving. I suppose if you’re approaching it from the position of if I don’t do this I am not going to get them anyway. And now. And the fact that instead of doing the lines. And if you think of what Anthony Burgess has done in A Clockwork Orange. of standing out from the plain.” I’d be slightly nervous to say like. You have to embody what you say. And here is the interesting thing: If there was a woman who was really. I would actually cross the line and make her hate me first. and that’s the reason I think I’m all right with women as well. that’s interesting. boring guy. that’s fascinating. which I think you do very well. makes it better. “What a cute little individual you’ve turned out to be. it’s a form of peacocking and demonstrating value. And it’s not just congruence. which is showing that you’re not impressed and pushing them away a little bit. that’s an . the way I talk and the way I dress—my act and my content—are all in alignment with each other. Again that’s another sort of very bold idea. you intuitively understand the structure underneath. I’d worry that that was sort of too much. really out of my league. But there’s also the idea of congruence: you can’t just say lines.Brand: Or. Brand: And the fact that when you frame it as such. Hmm. Brand: If you can think of what Picasso’s done with images. And that actually is too much and too direct. And I’d reframe our hostility into kind of a romanticcomedy flirtatiousness. it becomes acceptable to them. What you normally say is closer to a neg actually. Brand: What’s happened for me recently is that things are in alignment now. Because you’re accomplishing the same end goal. ordinary. I don’t go.

thank you very much. you’ve tuned in. “Hello. That’s the way I’ve broken through with television presenting. nor nothing so as I won’t.” no one’s going to listen. And I think if you talk like everyone else. we’ve got a great show coming up tonight. so it is part of who I am. welcome to the show. What’s the point in saying things people have heard thousands of times in a way that they’ve heard it said thousands of times. So it’s sort of deliberate—like deconstructive grammar—but it ain’t disingenuous. If you say.” that’s a little different. it becomes just white noise. I’ll try my hardest not to disappoint you. . “Hello. I was obsessed with Oscar Wilde as a kid.interesting way of using language. If you say.

here’s a quick summary of the technique you’re about to read: When I began learning NLP. But it didn’t matter: he opened up about his fears and vulnerabilities. With a routine. also turned out to be great ways to draw different types of answers out of musicians. like the technique of eliciting values used below (known as Style’s EV). particularly in relation to the Tom Cruise EV you’ll read later (a more textbook example of the routine). So I tried Style’s EV to get him and his bandmate and ex-wife. not the destination. Several of those methods. The White Stripes were amongst the most closed-off musicians I’d ever interviewed. I use this routine not just with women I meet. and that was enough. Meg White. often it’s the journey that counts. I soon discovered. I was told to find out a woman’s core value and trance words—and then to use her exact language to convince her to do things she might otherwise resist. however. to open up. It’s a great way to get to know someone very quickly. but in almost every magazine interview I do. in part because they’d just begun receiving mainstream attention and felt uncomfortable with it. For those of you who haven’t read the Routines Collection in Rules of the Game. Today. So I turned the process that some therapists use to learn people’s core motivating beliefs (known as eliciting values or “EV”) into a discussion that would teach them—and me—something about themselves. . We never got to the last answer. one of the things I learned was how to quickly get into deep rapport with women I’d just met. as in life. Jack White was hesitant to answer almost everything. What’s interesting about this example. is that Style’s EV was never actually completed with Jack White.ELICITING VALUES WITH ================ [THE WHITE STRIPES] ================ While researching The Game. that it was much more effective and ethical to practice NLP overtly instead of sneakily.

The only thing that keeps you happy is when you want to find out about things. enjoying things for their posterity. So Jack. how did that make you feel inside in that moment? . The first one is: What’s a quality or a value that you need to have in your life in order to feel fulfilled? Jack White: It’s just a sense of history. Meg. Meg? Meg White: Curiosity. and that feels good. There’s some sense of performing other songs that other people have written. I know that that’s the only thing that makes me happy. if you can remember the perfect time of when you’ve been performing a song someone else has written and you felt like you were upholding that tradition. but to feel alive. Jack. So. I think. it’s not money or fame. What about you.I have three questions to ask each of you that tie together. A historical sense of things. And I feel alive at that point. then you’re miserable. You need to constantly want things. It feels like I’m part of that tradition. how do you know when you have a sense of history and that it’s present in what you’re doing? Jack White: I suppose when we play music—just in upholding that tradition of folk music. If you wake up in the morning and you don’t want to read a book and you don’t want to learn something. so how do you know when that sense of curiosity is present? Meg White: I’m happy. which is how do you feel in that moment—because that feeling is your core value in life. Meg White: That’s so true. You just answered the third question too. Great. And for you. It’s your motivation for doing things. It really motivates me to want to do anything. for you. It really fulfills that.

then my creativity is destroyed. They’re not mine really. because if I ever do. I guess. I don’t think anyone would understand how much that song means to me. and he was saying that if you’re thinking about the future or the past instead of living in the moment. I’m afraid of enjoying myself in the moment. and if I was smiling and enjoying every moment of it. man. I’m still struggling with that too. A lot of times you will see certain performers be really happygo-lucky about what they’re doing and it almost conveys a sense that it’s not important or it’s easily blown off. I can look back on the show and say. you’re expressing yourself through other people. I’m afraid of it. this Zen philosopher. It’s very hard. I’m scared that it would ruin what’s good about what I do. Maybe it comes from the fact that in your songs. most of the songs and the stories inside those songs are other people’s situations. Sometimes my voice will change into whatever that character happens to be for the song. And I’m scared of actually enjoying things at the moment.” But at the exact moment. and we got something across. We could do a great version of “Death Letter” by Son House a certain night. I’m too much in some other thought that I can’t actually enjoy it. I’m learning. then you’re not living life at all. .Jack White: I have a problem enjoying things at the moment. So what thought do you actually have at the time while you’re playing? Jack White: Just trying to get involved in that story and that character as much as possible. It’s just acting the part of that story. “Certain things were good. Really? Jack White: I think so. I was listening to Alan Watts. Jack White: Yeah. Jack White (laughs): It’s hard. I really do.

Jack White: Yeah. but I’d be afraid to tell people that it was myself. I guess so. .It would be interesting to express your own stories.

“Hey. man. I didn’t game her up. Dre pulled up in a gold Aston Martin Vanquish. She was playing a small part in his video. I’m writing a book about these pickup artists. Well.============= [THE GAME ON THE GAME] ============= While interviewing the rapper The Game I met him on the set of his video shoot for “Dreams.” She appreciated them. Her trailer was filled with red roses and. you know… I did my thing. it’s me. I asked Game about his Game. man. wearing a black silk robe. The next day. So you tested the waters to see if she was interested? Game: She’s a real sweet girl. How did she feel about your lyric about her? Game: Oh. Um.” the hit best known for the lyric. they were. Did you run any game on her? Game: A little bit. digging the toes of his trainers into the pavement while Mya listened bemused. Game was talking with Mya outside. . Yeah. and they call that an SOI—a statement of intent. And that something was 5’2”. Were the flowers from you? Game: Uh. “I had dreams of fucking an R&B bitch like Mya. stroking her chin. she didn’t mind. man. Game had something important on his mind. She was cool. Well. I kind of.” On set. Game: I just sent her flowers to show her. He was playing shy. man. We’ll see what comes out of this. It was a good thing to do. and Game was making a small play for her. as Dr. and named Mya. You saw that? Yeah.

and I give women what they want and what they need to feel like it’s genuine. even if you don’t normally do that. my grandmother. I was taking girlfriends from guys who were driving Excursions and Benzes. you say. You always want to start off opening doors. That’s true. you know. I think if you’re a thug and you open doors. I come in under the radar. you’ll win every time. so it was a lot of women. and after the first date they want to fuck a girl. I like to think. Game: You have to act like it doesn’t even matter. Most men are assholes. it was just my mom. Even before you were famous? Game: When I was on foot and didn’t even have a car. now if you’re a wuss and you kick somebody’s ass in a bar.So how is your game? Game: I’m pretty clever with my words.” And then tomorrow night might be your night. you’re just a bigger wuss. Game: Yeah. then that’s cool. These pickup artists say the exact same thing. so I had a lot of time to study women. man. . My brother was already a teenager running wild. man. If you can show that you have a little patience. we should wait. Do you think you learned your game because you grew up with a lot of women in the house? Game: When I was staying with my mom. it’s cool. But if you’re a wuss and you open doors. What else do you got? Game: Humor and just being a nice guy is wonderful. and my sisters. If they start making out. I wait. I’m somewhat of a ladies man. “Not so fast. Patience is a real virtue when dealing with women.

I was surprised to learn that Lady Gaga was into The Game. I always denied it. but a quest for self-esteem. In my mind. because I was that lonely loser guy and trying to figure out how I could relate to women and just people in general. was based on The Game. Like all those old great books. I wrote this book. Not only had she read it. and you come out the other side.” and the idea that some people have trouble being themselves. you go on this quest. You do whatever it is that you do. That's every great myth from Greek mythology to Star Wars. this teenage quest. The Game. which I think— Lady Gaga: I know The Game.” It’s a journey in life. Some people say that her song “LoveGame. . Lady Gaga: I wrote a song today about—maybe don't write about this—but I wrote a . That's what I say on stage every night: “Tonight and every night after. but you discover who you are with this series of trial and error. Lady Gaga: I think that that's sort of what the conquest is in the show and in the music: Be whoever you want to be. but she’d used some of the principles. You get drunk and wake up in a ditch somewhere. it wasn’t a how-to book. Most people don't know who they are yet. You have to make an effort for yourself. You make lots of fucking mistakes.============ [LADY GAGA ON THE GAME] ============ While I wasn’t surprised to learn that The Game fancied himself a player. and you discover yourself. because . they don’t know who that is. So when you tell them to be themselves. It was the exact same journey where you confront the demons of your subconscious and your trauma.. you can be whoever it is that you want to be.” with its lyrics about three seconds and indicators of interest. You fly to Spain with no money. but this interview made me have second thoughts. “Born This Way. The following took place when we were discussing her then-unreleased song.

. “You can't name it The Game. So in the verses. I'll play it for you and I'll explain it to you. because you’re worried they’re gonna steal it or whatever . Right. And the song basically celebrates and sort of struggles with how we. and I used to get really worried and upset about people trying to catch onto what kind of music I'm making or the style or who I'm working with. We don't want to dance alone. but you can't really say bullshit because bullshit’s kinda not a very clever word. There's this ongoing essence of freedom and release and connection to God. . . I'll play it for you. Very successful book. I know. . so I found this. and you wrote the book. That’s why you have to know that yours is the best cure. “Fuck it. You're you!” I know. There's a movie called The Game. during heartbreak. but basically the song is a word in another language that means bullshit. and I just start to sort of free myself and say I wish I could be strong without all the bullshit. I wish I could dance on a single prayer. Lady Gaga: Amazing! . no matter what.” I said. And then we get to the chorus. crazy. Lady Gaga: But I have come to a place where I've stopped living in that fear and I just try to listen to myself and say.” Lady Gaga: And now it is The Game. I get paranoid when I spend two years on a book. It’s so true. people told me.song today about . then it takes six months to come out. Lady Gaga (yelling): But mine is the best cure and nobody writes that cure like I do! Even with The Game. can't be strong without the bullshit. “Nobody can do it like you. Lady Gaga: And then someone found the cure for nose hairs or whatever it is. this is The Game. And I start to feel like I keep seeing the idea everywhere. I'm just being pathetic and desperate talking to someone.

Awesome. you're like. “Oh.So weird. Lady Gaga: Although I'm sure now that you just went through a break-up. Lady Gaga: And he was like. so I checked my email. I wanted to have sex. you did the freeze out! Lady Gaga: I wanted to have sex and the guy wasn't paying attention to me. thinking you must know exactly what to do: You wrote the fucking bible of relationships. . you're wondering about the game. I'm laughing. And all of a sudden the ego thing starts going. Lady Gaga: Oh yeah.” It’s just so simple. . Did you really? Lady Gaga: Yeah. so I checked my email. They probably used that stuff on you too . “What are you doing?” That's awesome. Once you understand how people work. . Lady Gaga: So exciting! Not weird. wonderful! I know a lot of guys that read that book. I used it on somebody once. that's how it works.

The first one is: If you had to pick one thing—one quality—that you need to have in your life in order to feel that life is worthwhile. “Hey man.” and that person just looks at you and says. “Whew. I’ve had truth. You may recognize the last line from The Game. And so if you have truth in your life. Cruise: Oh. Can you imagine the relief you have when you look at someone and go. Let me think. Whether it’s with my kids or with women or friends. I’ve had truth. with my relationships. In what way? Cruise: Yeah. Let me ask that differently: Name a situation in your life where you’ve had truth. what would it be? Cruise: Truth.” You’re like. Cool.==== [ELICITING VALUES FROM TOM CRUISE ] ==== The following exchange took place with Tom Cruise over lunch at the Scientology Celebrity Centre. And it’s allowed trust. I know the kind of relief absolute truth gives to someone. Truth. because it’s exactly what I did with the White Stripes. I did that. Because. what kinds of things does that allow you to do? Cruise: Different things in different ways. “Yeah. And you may recognize the routine. I’ve never done this with someone I’ve interviewed. thanks for telling me. It’s called eliciting values. but this is a great way to find out who somebody is and what makes them tick.” . and it’s just three easy questions. here’s the thing about me. people can tell me anything and I will not judge them. Only I got to the end of it this time. Tom Cruise: Sure.

It’s interesting.So. And you all can feel that sense of relief when you communicate with truth. even the people on the set with you. Cruise: Yup. You can die now. directors. See. nephews. people you’re working with. and you said the word extraordinary. 1 Note that it’s important to always repeat the person’s exact words back to them—in this case. we fulfilled your core life value in five minutes. peace. It’s cool. Even when you’re looking for something totally adventurous. You have that with your sisters. Cruise (laughs): I’m just getting going. “absolute truth” and “relief”—to accurately paint the picture. you’re in a situation and you have absolute truth with everyone in your life. you want the feeling of peace that comes with that. Cruise: Wow (laughs). you don’t necessarily want the adrenaline rush. that’s exactly what I felt. that’s what it’s all about for you. Extraordinary? What would that extraordinary feeling be inside? Cruise: Peace.1 Cruise: Absolutely! Can you imagine that scenario? How would that make you feel inside if you had that? Cruise: Extraordinary. . That is your core value in life. you actually felt that feeling of peace inside then. because when we were talking. So that is your answer. Don’t cut me off fella. let’s just say that at some point in the hypothetical future. Their words have a very specific meaning and resonance to them. There you go. and explains a lot about you.

Cruise: And adrenaline is part of that. because you have to go through something. It’s fascinating. I don’t find peace through withdrawing. You know. I did it. even if it’s as simple as understanding another person or the scene of a particular moment. those are words that you use to define a certain emotion inside. Cruise: That’s cool. “Boy. I don’t really keep counsel with others. suddenly it comes to you. The choices that an individual makes is what they create around them. But you’re not. Right or wrong. I’m not going to ask anybody. It may not be what everyone else defines as peace. Those adventures make you feel peaceful inside. Exactly. what do you think about this?” I’ve made every decision for myself—in my career. I find peace through understanding and exploring and reaching. and if I know it’s right.But. because it’s a specific feeling for you. whether it’s about taking a job or a relationship in your life. So the lesson in this is: if you have to make a decision in life. If it takes you away from that. I would have that that you were an adrenaline junkie. I’m the kind of person who will think about something. . and when you say extraordinary and peace. if it brings you closer to that extraordinary feeling of peace. I don’t go. in my life. because when I understand something. From the way you talked earlier. what’s interesting is that I never would have known that about you. then it’s the wrong thing. seriously. You’re a peace junkie. And that’s the peaceful feeling you’re talking about. There is a certain kind of expanse that I have. then it’s the right thing for you.

and then they went up for a picture. When you visualize. When you were thinking about it. if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world. Righty’s go to the right. where would you go? Cruise: It changes at certain points. If I want to climb. Another interesting thing is that you are actually a lefty. I like going to Colorado. For example. The reason I asked you is because I wanted to see how your eyes moved. I shoot bow and an arrow with my left. What’s amazing is that once you learn to read eye movements. I started with my left hand. I was. and how they think. your eyes went down into your feelings. your eyes go up and to the left. it’s gotta be Colorado. With communication.===== [TOM CRUISE & EYE-ACCESSING CUES] ====== Another routine I used with Tom Cruise. Here’s a brief snippet of our dialogue. and many other interview subjects. I’ve included it here because there’s an interesting cold-reading element you can sometimes add to the routine if someone who is right-handed looks up and to the left side. So you are actually a combination of a kinesthetic person—someone who think with their feelings—and a visual person. but shoot a pistol with my right. I didn’t know that. “Is there a smile over there? There was a pause—what does that mean?” Exactly. isn’t it? . It’s bizarre. only seven percent is what you say. was reading their eye movements. you can tell so much. The rest is tonality and body language. Because I can’t see your face. Were you born left-handed? Cruise: That’s amazing. Cruise: That’s why talking over the phone is tough. I’m thinking. if I want to hike. Cruise: That’s cool. like whether someone’s lying or telling the truth.

“Fuck everybody. everything changed. girls were always like. were you the clown of your group? Fab Moretti: When I was really young.A BRIEF LESSON IN NON-NEEDINESS ==== [FROM FAB MORETTI OF THE STROKES] ==== Drummer Fab Moretti is.” And as soon as I became a dick. it should be noted. like. I didn’t want to talk to nobody.” But then I got to a stage in my life when all of a sudden. “You’re my friend. I just decided. When you were younger. I didn’t want to fuck everybody. the member of the Strokes who dated Drew Barrymore for five years. you know. . And that was immediately when girls wanted to go out with me.

How about that? Don't listen to this no more! She stops the song. I don't want to cry. Girlfriend: Songs that Tell A Story? Berry: You know what. .============ [CHUCK BERRY ON ONEITIS] ============ Since rock pioneer Chuck Berry has a weakness for women. I don't want to cry in my interview. (She starts playing the song.” Berry: It’s cold but it’s pure. he starts beating her with a stick until she dies. Girlfriend: Would you like to hear a sample of it? Berry: It takes me a little time to cry. Satan is Real. And for no reason. go down you Knoxville girl. then throws her into the river. Especially that line where he goes. Berry: No. She ended up teaching him to use his iPhone. they're masters with those things. He murdered the girl and he murdered her because he loved her2. so I guess so. Berry: Was it in there? Girlfriend: No it wasn't. I tried to get “Knoxville Girl” and couldn't for some reason. I brought my girlfriend along to increase my chances of having the cantankerous guitarist sit for an interview. you can never be my bride.) I want to leave it alone cause I'm getting that feeling. on which he was trying to find the murder ballad “The Knoxville Girl. I think I looked through those. it’s not on that. 2 The lyrics to the song are about a boy who goes walking with the girl he wants to marry. That song gets me. “Go down. Girlfriend: “Knoxville Girl”? I found it! Berry: These young folks. Girlfriend: Want to hear it? Berry: I don't wanna do it cause I'll cry.” recorded by the Louvin Brothers in 1956. I found the Louvin Brothers.

I never had the experience of killing anybody. Berry: Oneitis? It’s a disease where you're obsessed with just one person. I can make those words up all day. very serious that you never would have done. but she doesn’t take you seriously as a romantic possibility. but songs were always violent. Berry: Oneitis? Now I got it. . Give me another word (laughs). but I can see where it would cause you to do something very. You know. It’s called oneitis. That’s one of the symptoms. There's a word that people in The Game have for that situation. That’s sad. Berry: We see people do things because they're crazy. Berry: A person too free-hearted would be give-itis. Berry: Or what about that song where the guy apologizes for stopping by the house of a woman he likes. you're really lonesome bad and come to find out they're married or you're not gonna get it.It’s funny because they talk about rap being so bad now. Exactly. Berry: Oh. When you really love someone. because it happens to a lot of us. What gets me about the song is that he never gives a reason for killing the girl he loves. It’s like a disease of the mind.

and you imagined what it would feel like to be there. You see someone. wow. and generally you’re a visual person first. That’s like chemistry. Then you went to a feeling place. but then you go to your feelings to process something. Stefani: Okay. . If I can tell you something you never knew about yourself. Here’s the prelude to the Gwen Stefani scene in Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead. Gwen Stefani: Oh really? Do I want to know stuff about myself? It won’t be anything bad. Think about going to the beach. and then you get a feeling about them. Are you imagining you’re on the beach? Stefani: Yeah When you thought about going to the beach. Stefani: Oh. the right routine can lead to a longer and more interesting interview with someone. like you imagined what the beach looked like. I saw your eyes move to two different places. So your eyes scout things out.==== [ACCESSING GWEN STEFANI’S EYE CUES] ==== Sometimes. you got a visual picture. let’s see. Stefani: No (laughs)? Okay. Like my eyes tell you where I think? Yes. That’s exactly what I thought. Stefani: I believe it. First. then your feelings kind of interpret them. then let’s take a break and go to dinner.

So is that something you knew about yourself before? Stefani: Where do you want to go for dinner? .

but before attempting it. not every woman will be willing to expose this vulnerable side of herself. If you look at your life now. I’ve done it with hundreds of other people. issues. There is an anger inside of me. transformative experience. It can be a powerful. and rapport before starting this discussion. Though the way he brought up his anger problem was a perfect place to end the interview for the reader. just drop the routine and talk about something else. You have a beautiful wife and what appears to be a great relationship. I was at dinner with my girlfriend at the time and Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins. He walked us through an exercise he had done with one of his teachers that helps people with their inner demons. So make sure you have a sufficient degree of trust. and insecurities. However. to every woman that never . Once in while I can douse it with some water. This is a powerful rapport-building and value-demonstrating piece of material. what happened immediately afterward is that we went straight into the Secret Self routine. What would it take to make you happy? Stern: I don't know. but it just never goes away. and yet you're still not happy. to my father.========= [HOWARD STERN’S SECRET SELF] ========= What happens after an interview ends in a magazine? Let’s take the Howard Stern interview in Rolling Stone. I don't know how to get rid of that. read the description and warning below from the Routines Collection in Rules of the Game: One evening. Since then. You've succeeded in all your goals and are paid better than almost everyone. Where do you think that anger comes from? Stern: I had something to prove to the world. That's so complicated. If she seems uneasy with the topic. comfort. you're on radio and TV 24/7 and nobody's bored.

So you have to give Lucy another job. everything. give her a constructive job. You know. I’m tired of walking around angry. What would it look like? Stern: A lot like your girlfriend (laughs). and you start out by giving it a name.] I understand what you're saying. it’s not necessary anymore. if you had to give Lucy a constructive job in your life to help you. I'm not sure how to answer that. so I've got to take my anger and somehow make it constructive? [. But I don't know if you ever get rid of it. such as your anger. . The thing about that is you can't extinguish it or cut it out. It’s a burden. and I haven’t written every good joke. I’m not saying I’m fully evolved now. Rather than destructive. and somehow it dissipates. I think the brass ring is to actually find some balance. what would it be? Stern: Hmm. The whole idea of balance is to live with that anger or understand it. but I don't know what it would take. I think that that would be beautiful. .fucked me. But where there was once an actual purpose for that anger in your life. I’m not Buddha. He says to take a part of yourself that you really don't like. Billy Corgan did an interesting exercise with me called the secret self. now that you're older. It’s part of who you are. The anger would probably look like a big ugly witch from The Wizard of Oz type thing or something that pours out of Sigourney Weaver's stomach in Alien. So what's the brass ring for you now? Stern: Years ago I would have answered that to do another movie or this or that thing. So the last question is. I get competitive. Sometimes it’s hard for me to accept that I don’t have every listener. What would its name be? Stern: Lucy. And that’s why I’m trying to find balance. But that’s no way to live. It was all over the place. Like something you'd just want to cut out. The thing that comes to the top of my head is sort of how .

That's a good way to look at it. So tell Billy to write a new fucking album if he's that smart. but I'm sure I'm answering that . It would be your manager and creative partner. Stern: Yeah. Putting that energy into something creative. which shows you I'm a bit of a workaholic. When I think creative. . and channel it into somehow making the show better.I could channel it with work. That's the perfect answer. I could take that energy. that angry energy. it actually blocks you from doing anything. that kind of stuff. . because when that energy is so fucking pervasive. It would energize me. taking it and using all of that energy rather than wasting it on something ridiculous. TV. . I think of the radio show.

So during a Rolling Stone interview.” Girls always say they want a guy with a sense of humor. where there were no groupies to be found. comedians are the bottom of the ladder of getting laid. If everyone's at the party. I believed them. “Hey. But being an investigative reporter by nature. . I was in your hotel lobby in Seattle and Vancouver. I realized this couldn't be true. comedians would be the last guys picked. you know. you get a more sexual thing. I decided to ask someone who many consider to be the funniest man performing today about it.=== [CHRIS ROCK ON HUMOR & ATTRACTION] === “The most important thing in a man is a sense of humor. after being backstage at countless rock concerts and watching women throw themselves at humorless bands. I flew from four towns away to get you this. Please read this script. a script. But it didn't. Later in life. Ever heard a woman say those words? I heard them a lot too. here's my writing sample. Especially compared to backstage at comedy shows. here is my script. saying. But it seems like they chase athletes and rock stars and rappers and serious actors more than comedians. I didn't want to rely on just my own experiences before discounting the myth. Big difference. Do comedians get groupies? Chris Rock: You probably get more business groupies as a comedian. Chris Rock: Yes. They want a rich guy with a sense of humor. As a rock star. What's a business groupie? Chris Rock: Somebody with. hoping it would help. and in the days before The Game. I even became the class clown in school. Why do you think girls say that? Chris Rock: You don't listen to the other part.

At the end of the day. The thing with comedians—the reason the other people always get laid instead of us—is that everyone has a mystique. And so you end up in the friend zone? Chris Rock: Yeah. .I know a lot of rich guys who do horribly too. They get to know us too quickly. comedy is some nerd shit. they get overly comfortable with us. Comedians have absolutely no mystique. There is a mystique to being a singer: What is Prince like? What is Sting like? What is Nelly like? You don't know them. Chris Rock: That may be. I think women respond more to a certain set of high-status behaviors than money.

And suddenly they were gone. and Mandy. I meant Mandy. Just about a month later. Hefner: I’m randy. if the male desire for sleeping with new women ever goes away. I met the twins at The Garden of Eden. So what made them. I said. my hometown. and Randy. How did you meet your girlfriends Brande. I got their names. they’re actually college kids. Hefner: When I was clubbing. Sorry. “You girls dropped out of heaven. Hefner: Yes. They’re a couple of nice Catholic girls from Chicago. so I am now dating Brande. The night that I met them. I decided to ask Hugh Hefner. You obviously meet tons of people. Didn’t bother to get the phone number. who’d just decided to start dating multiple women. Sandy. a club that she had not frequented very often. exactly. It took me about a month to find them. Sandy. how he “picked up” his girlfriends—and. you know— Hefner: Very special ladies? Yes. as mentioned briefly in the introduction to The Game. but I didn’t bother to get the last names. Hefner: Well. I met a girl named Brande Roderick at the Opium Den.==================== [HUGH HEFNER] ==================== In the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. So they stuck in your mind? . with the twins.” Then they had a drink with me. Their names are Sandy and Mandy Bentley. you know.

The other was in a private Catholic school in Chicago. I talked to them on the phone. . How did you find them again? Hefner: Well. It's a very special relationship. How did you coax them? Love letters? Boxes of candy? Hefner: No. It eliminates the boundaries between expectation and reality. Hefner: There was more drama in my marriage then there was now that I'm dating three girls.. How is this different? Hefner: Well. I think it’s as important in its own way as the birth control pill. big impression. I think they’re underselling Viagra.. One of them is in pre-med in Las Vegas. . . Have you ever had a relationship with several people before? Hefner: Oh yeah. I found them in school. Curious. It's a recreational drug. [. because it’s more than an impotence drug. Is there any way to avoid the drama? I’m just thinking. And then? Hefner: I coaxed them into each coming out here. because there is some indication that it may have similar effects for them. yes. It permits a level of pleasure that is otherwise just something you hope for. Not quite in the same way though. we do everything together. And it's been about eight months now.Hefner: Oh.] Would any of this be possible without Viagra? Hefner: Well. They made a big impression. It’s being tested now on women. but true. I think it would be very difficult without Viagra. sure.

We've had some. When is enough enough? Hefner: They talk about the Darwinian Imperative that has to do with the male DNA wanting to get the DNA into the next generation. when you see a beautiful girl. Anything that reincreases and reinvigorates sexual prowess and blood flow is likely to have some other positive effects. Viagra nights.I know women who take it just to go out and party. . well we've done that. So do you still want to have more kids to pass your DNA on to? Hefner: I don't think so. you still desire her. . Hefner: Yes. It’s the attraction between the sexes that really makes the world go around. What are your thoughts on male desire: even though you’ve slept with over 1000 people. unless I found myself in a relationship where that became very important to the woman. I have had two families and that's enough. . . Men have a roving eye. the reality is that sex is the major motivating factor probably on this planet. you know. I didn't have any problem with that at all after having lived the life I had lived before. It is also the source of civilization. I guess that’s part of it because you see it in nature with other kinds of species. How much of our actions and ambitions in life do you think are motivated by sexuality? Hefner: How many people have said that they got into music because they want to meet girls? One of the things that is fascinating to me is that with all the taboos and controversy surrounding sex. I was faithful to the marriage. In other words. I think that in my own life it comes and goes depending on what kind of relationship I am in. Immediately after the marriage ended. while I was married. I was seeing a great many women.

“We have to learn this. and paying less attention to the woman you’re most interested in. This means she had sex today. and eye contact. right? I want to know if anyone has tried them on me (laughs cruelly). So I demonstrate the Lying Game for her (as found in the Routines Collection in Rules of the Game) by asking her to tell me three things she’s done that day and to make one of them a lie. Or when they shake your hand and hold onto it too long. the topic of body language comes up. It freaks me out.” “I ate a tuna fish sandwich. “I don’t know what to do. Madonna is not a good liar.PLAYING THE LYING GAME WITH ======================= [MADONNA] ======================= While Madonna and her dancers are waiting backstage to rehearse a live performance for German TV. Madonna: That always works. I explain group theory. she cracks up and throws her legs into the air. she says she wants to learn this skill for business negotiations. which brings us to the subject of The Game.” she squeals to her manager. Status is more attractive to them. women aren’t like guys.” she says. “I find it very disconcerting to talk to people who don’t look you in the eye.” “I had sex.” Despite rumors to the contrary. The other thing is realizing that while guys are attracted to looks. . Madonna: So tell me the tips. body language. When I point out which statement isn’t true (she didn’t eat tuna). Her answers: “I worked out.” When I tell her that you can always tell when someone’s lying by looking for telltale signs in their speech. It’s all about the formula.

The discussion continues. To be a wealth of knowledge. But I don’t think all men like that necessarily. yeah. To know things. So let me ask you. what does a woman do to be desired? From my book and my perspective. the best advice I got on relationships was from one of the most odious pickup artists I met. Madonna: That makes sense. I think that’s my attraction. Here. . But it’s true. and sense of humor. Madonna: Did you learn anything about relationships? Actually. It hasn’t really changed a bit. I can’t imagine being attracted to somebody who didn’t really have anything to say. resilience. I suppose I’m attracted to people who are that way3. a guy who looked like Jabba the Hut and was really crude. that really didn’t know anything. separate from looks. I’ll ask you first: What do you think are the three most important things in a relationship? Madonna: The ability to listen. It’s all so tribal. That’s my value: That I know things. Women need status. . . I think that another trick when it comes to men is to make them feel that they thought of something— even if you did—that’s the trick. what are other ways you’ve noticed a woman can become desirable? Madonna: Irregardless of looks and like going to the gym.Madonna: That’s sad. until Madonna later asks . To have things to talk about. because they want to know you can protect them. Not that I didn’t know that—you’re just validating it. Or being the ruler of the tribe. it’s knowledge. 3 Thus the importance of DHV’ing. it was about how much work you could do on the farm. Probably hundreds of years ago. and you’re just agreeing with them.

and often times when you’re 100 percent sure you’re right. If one of those things are missing. but explain the difference between honesty and trust.He had a different answer: He said the three most important things were honesty. I think those are essential for a good relationship. love can’t exist. You can handle anything in a relationship if you’re resilient. trust. I like my answer too though. . they’re right too—from their perspective. It’s just very hard for people to get their head around it. Madonna: I think I agree with that. while trust is how you feel about their actions and communication. Because there are two sides to every argument. and—what was the other thing I said—if you listen. if you have a sense of humor. and respect. They go in different directions: honesty is about how you act and communicate with someone else. Madonna: Good distinction.

I’m not any of those characters I play. And I realized that the information I was learning was not just for wimpy. I’m acting. when I was a teenager. That’s what I do for a living. I really want to keep having good conversations. pasty-faced wallflowers. First. and I fell in love on the Tube all the time. though. because he was acknowledged as one of the best-looking and most famous actors in our culture at the time.A FIELD REPORT FROM ================== [ORLANDO BLOOM] ================= At the end of one of my last emails to the VIP list. popular. When you become somebody who is publicly recognized. it seems. it was a paradigm-shifting moment for me. an older woman who opened my eyes sexually. Then I moved to London and dated. worrying or concerned about being late for work or whatever it is. . I’d see these women and be in love. When Bloom asked for advice. but for successful. you have to disarm them. I discussed an interview with Orlando Bloom. and good-looking guys as well: almost every male. trying to hold it together. Orlando Bloom: I used to take the Tube to school in London. no thought. And I promised I’d reveal what he most wanted advice on at the end of this for-your-eyes-only e-book. It would be great to think that I was part-Legolas. How did you do with women when you were younger? Bloom: I was a natural when I was younger. feels like he could be doing better with women. we discussed Bloom’s game before he was famous. and you have to show them that’s not really it. They project this idea of who they think you are. but the chances of having a conversation were so slim unless it was somebody who was a little older and you smiled at them or you got up and gave them your seat. I’d be with five girls a week. and his fascination with the culture of pickup artists. People are so in their world. and then they’d let you get into a little bit of a conversation.

” And she said. “You can stay if you want.How would you meet these women? Bloom: I used to just make eye contact. He said that once in Japan. In fact. and Bloom kissed one girl. Bloom then tells me about an experience he had the previous night. and I described in detail the dual induction massage from The Game. “Should I go? Bloom replied.” The lesson: Where the techniques in The Game will help you meet women and help writers like myself have better interviews. In the end. . “I’ve never had one before.” So they got on the bed. They stood on his balcony. and wait until she went to the bathroom. “Threesome?” “I don’t know. two girls had flashed their breasts at him and offered him a threesome. he confessed. as a joke. the girls refused to interact with each other. had bought him extra-long-lasting condoms with desensitizing cream. an inherent danger of The Game is that it will attract as many men hoping to learn the knowledge as women. and they went up to his room. to Bloom’s surprise. It was on with the girl in the dress.” Just as they were kissing. I asked him if it was true that he’d never had a threesome before. but they did both take turns having sex with Bloom. was that his assistant. But he couldn’t take them up on the offer because he’d had another girl in the room. and he told her. His last words as the conversation ended: “We have to hang out in LA. honestly.” Bloom replied. “I want to kiss you. then the other. That was when he asked if there were any techniques for having a threesome. but he wasn’t sure about her friend. her friend walked out and asked. a working knowledge of them will also help you build your social circle. What helped with this. He’d seen a woman in a flowing white dress on the beach. She introduced him to her friend.

Best of luck! . so make sure you keep it to yourself. And remember: This document is for the Inner Circle only. to bond with your boss’ wife or to sleep with her. whether you want to use them to work better or play harder.===================== [POSTSCRIPT] ===================== Thanks for reading. take some time to go back over the routines and learn them for yourself. If you’ve only read this once. Don’t blow it for your fellow members.