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CO MP LI ME NTARY

AUGUST 2016, VOL. 14 ISSUE 7

COVER PHOTO BY BLISS PHOTOGRAPHY

Publisher / Editor Mike Strong Sales Manager Dottie Godberry Staff Photographer Jimmy Dunkley

Contributing Writers Bill Delaune Linda Melancon Calvin Bessonett

Bully

Goosie Guice Orhan McMillan Mireworks Kellie Seymour Tanya Stilley Jimmy Dunkley

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of the publisher, editor or staff of Ascension Magazine 18386 Little Prairie Rd. Prairieville, LA 70769

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Magazine 18386 Little Prairie Rd. Prairieville, LA 70769 Table of Contents LSU FOOTBALL 4 LAYNE’S JEWELRY

Table of Contents

LSU FOOTBALL

4

LAYNE’S JEWELRY

9

CHAMP OF CHAMPS

10

SWEET EYES W/ TANYA

12

COUNTRY KITCHEN

24

JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE

29

BILL DELAUNE

30

THOUGHTS FROM BULLY

36

PELICAN POINT

38

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30 THOUGHTS FROM BULLY 36 PELICAN POINT 38 FOR MORE INFORMATION 225.622.3262 www.riverparishfoods.com
TIGER TIME 2016 F O O T B A L L P R E V
TIGER TIME
2016
F O O T B A L L
P R E V I E W
PROVIDED BY LSU SPORTS INFORMATION
PHOTOS BY STEVE FRANZ

LSU football preview for 2016, including keys to success for the Tigers, best players and season prediction.

What You Need To Know About The LSU Offense

Yeah, LSU might have the best player in college football to run the ball, but it’s going to have a passing element, too. Offensive coordinator Cam Cameron knows how to get an air show flying, and he’s got the receivers

to do it. The big difference is experience at quarterback with Brandon Harris having been through the wars.

Harris will never be Tom Brady, but he should be a positive after a good offseason. Of course, the offense will mostly work around Leonard Fournette, but he might not have to carry as much of the load if the passing game does its part. The offensive line is strong enough and good enough to make life easy for No. 7.

Biggest Key To The LSU Offense

It’s not going to be all Leonard Fournette. Of course the Tigers are going to feed the guy who should currently be a multi-mil- lionaire starting in an NFL backfield, and when push comes to shove, the offense is going to go with the power running game. But after finishing 105th in the nation in passing, this time around the Tigers will be more efficient and should add far more pop through the air.

more efficient and should add far more pop through the air. 4 Malachi Dupre and a

4

Malachi Dupre and a healthy Travin Dural form a terrific re- ceiving punch that’ll finally start getting used more. Brandon Harris is a decent enough passer to get by, and now he’s got the experience. As long as there’s more of a threat of Harris push- ing the ball deep, the running game should be even deadlier.

What You Need To Know About The LSU Defense

New defensive coordinator Dave Aranda isn’t going to nec- essarily ramp up the pressure like all new coordinators say they’re going to do, but he’s going to implement his 3-4 alignment – at least as much as possible – while making the scheme as easy as possible for all the veterans to quickly adapt to.

All four starters are back to a line that can switch up the alignment when needed, and while losing Deion Jones and Lamar Louis from the outside of the linebacking corps hurts, there’s a ton of speed and young talent to work into the fold. Jamal Adams should be among the best safeties in the country as the star of a loaded secondary.

Biggest Key To The LSU Defense

Dave Aranda’s 3-4 should be fantastic. The new defensive co- ordinator will use a variety of sets and schemes, but at its base will be a 3-4 alignment that should crank up the production from the defensive tackles – and

they’re jacked about it. The linebackers will be turned loose from all four spots, while

they’re jacked about it.

The linebackers will be turned loose from all four spots, while the front three’s job is to domi- nate between the hashmarks and crash into the backfield. With superstar line coach Ed Orgeron handling the front three, expect it to be an absolute killer.

LSU Will Be Far Better If …

The penalties slow to a crawl. Flags have been a problem in the past for LSU, but after doing okay in 2014, the Tigers were hit 97 times last year. The team should be good enough to overcome some bad outings, but eight penalties a game will

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5

start to add up in the bigger battles. For an offense that thrives on third-and-short, flags were drive killers last season.

Best LSU Offensive Player

RB Leonard Fournette, Jr. - There’s no real argument against Derrick Henry winning the 2015 Heisman, and there’s no beef against Deshaun Wat- son and Christian McCaffrey being finalists, but Fournette deserved to be in New York. He had one bad game, and it was against a frothing-at-the-mouth Alabama defense that held him to 31 yards and a score on 19 carries. Fournette's 1,953 yards and 22 touchdowns were spe- cial, and now the spotlight and

pressure are on to do it all again

- and even more if the Tigers

are going to win the SEC title.

Best LSU Defensive Player

S Jamal Adams, Jr. - The Tigers

are loaded with potential all-star

and NFL defenders. Tre’Davi- ous White (CB/S), Kendall Beckwith (LB) and Christian LaCouture (DT) are just a few of the returning rocks for what should be an improved defense. But it’s Adams who should be the best of the bunch, thanks to prototype size and next-level range.

The pass defense was just okay last season, but it should be fan- tastic this time around with all the returning talent and experi- ence. Adams should be an All- America lock and a first round draft pick next year if all goes according to plan.

Key Player To A Successful Season

QB Brandon Harris, Jr. - With Anthony Jennings transferring, there’s no looking over the shoulder – Harris is the LSU quarterback who’ll be the differ- ence between a good offense and a fantastic one. Everything else around him is there to suc- ceed, and now it’s his job to be more efficient, more effective

one. Everything else around him is there to suc- ceed, and now it’s his job to
and even more of a playmaker. Last year he only completed 54% of his passes

and even more of a playmaker.

Last year he only completed 54% of his passes for 2,158 yards, 13 scores and eight picks, while also rushing for 226 yards and four touchdowns. He does- n’t have to carry the team or the offense on his shoulders, but for LSU to play up to its potential, he’ll have to come up with at least one big game and pull out at least one huge win.

The LSU Football Season Will Be A Success If …

They win the SEC title. They’re actually going to be good enough to get to the College Football Playoff and play for the national title, but for a team coming off a disappointing sea- son, and after all the drama, winning the SEC championship would be fantastic. There’s no real excuse for it not to happen considering all the returning tal- ent and experience – set the ex- pectations very, very high and look for the return of a super- power.

Key Game

Nov. 5 vs. Alabama Any team worthy of being talked about for the CFP and maybe even the national title should be able to beat Wisconsin and Florida on the road, and at least go 3-1 against those two, Arkansas and Texas A&M on the road. Ole Miss has to come to Death Val- ley; so does Alabama.

Last year, LSU was 7-0 before going to Tuscaloosa, and the Crimson Tide pitched a defen- sive gem. The Tigers have lost their last five games against Bama – starting with the 2012 BCS Championship – but if all goes according to plan, this should be the game of the year.

Fun LSU Football Stats From 2015

• First Quarter Scoring:

LSU 83 – Opponents 33

• Penalties: LSU 97 for 784 yards – Opponents 72 for 600 yards

• Sacks: LSU 34 for 236 yards – Opponents 17 for 119 yards

LSU 97 for 784 yards – Opponents 72 for 600 yards • Sacks: LSU 34 for
LSU 97 for 784 yards – Opponents 72 for 600 yards • Sacks: LSU 34 for

6

St. Elizabeth Physicians Opens St. Amant Clinic

Sean deBarros, MD
Sean deBarros, MD
Hollie Ortis, FNP-C
Hollie Ortis, FNP-C
Holly Schiele, CPNP
Holly Schiele, CPNP

St. Elizabeth Physicians opened its 11th clinic in St. Amant on July 18, 2016. The clinic lo- cated at 13489 Highway 431 will provide primary care. Sean deBarros, M.D., a family medicine physician, along with Family Medicine Nurse Practitioner, Hollie Ortis, FNP-C, and Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, Holly Schiele,

CPNP, will staff the new 2,500 square foot clinic.

“The opening of the St. Amant Clinic signifies St. Elizabeth Physicians’ continued commitment to provide conven- ient access and exceptional care to our growing community,” said John Fraiche, M.D., President of St. Elizabeth

Physicians. The St. Amant Clinic will provide better access to basic, quality health care to the growing population in the eastern portion of Ascension Parish. Medical services from check-ups and physicals to treatment of minor illnesses or injuries and chronic conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure will be provided to

children and adults of all ages.

The clinic will be open from

7 a.m. to 7 p.m. from Monday through Thursday, and from

7 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday. New patients are being accepted. To schedule an appointment, call (225)647-8511 or visit www.stepdocs.com.

on Friday. New patients are being accepted. To schedule an appointment, call (225)647-8511 or visit www.stepdocs.com.

7

St. Theresa of Avila Catholic Church in Gonzales recently hosted a two-day Appreciation Lunch for
St. Theresa of Avila Catholic Church in
Gonzales recently hosted a two-day Appreciation
Lunch for the Men and Women in Blue who
serve in Ascension Parish. Officers and staff from
the Ascension Parish Sheriff’s Office and the
Gonzales City Police Department were invited to
come by between 11:00am and 1:00pm and were
treated to a delicious meal of crawfish etouffee
and all the trimmings. For those who were
unable to leave their posts, volunteers delivered
meals to them at their various work stations
throughout Ascension parish. As they departed
from the luncheon, honorees were given treat
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Knights of Columbus Council #2657, the Baton Rouge Marriot for its preparation of the food,

Knights of Columbus Council #2657, the Baton Rouge Marriot for its preparation of the food, and volunteers young and old from St. Theresa parish ministries. Everyone, hosts and hostess, enjoyed themselves so much that a second event is being planned around Thanksgiving time.

a second event is being planned around Thanksgiving time. bags prepared and decorated by the VBS

bags prepared and decorated by the VBS children. All told some 300 meals were served over the two-day event. A big thank you to all of the loving hands that came together to host our law en- forcement family including the

event. A big thank you to all of the loving hands that came together to host
event. A big thank you to all of the loving hands that came together to host
event. A big thank you to all of the loving hands that came together to host

9

Congratulations to Scott Duplechen and his wife Kellie for winning the Champ of Champs Cook
Congratulations to Scott Duplechen and his wife Kellie for winning
the Champ of Champs Cook Off at the Jambalaya Festival 2016.
Apparantley he was excited because he danced a jig across the floor.

10

New Bridal Jewelry Designs Offer Many Exciting Options with Layne Gautreau Perhaps the biggest news

New Bridal Jewelry Designs Offer Many Exciting Options

with Layne Gautreau

Perhaps the biggest news in bridal jewelry is the prominence of three major trends: three stone rings, fancy diamond shapes, and rings

trends: three stone rings, fancy diamond shapes, and rings set with colored diamonds and col- ored

set with colored diamonds and col- ored gemstones. Currently, many three stone rings feature a white diamond center stone flanked by two colored diamond side stones with the added dazzle of white diamond pavé.

The most popular fancy diamond shapes for today’s brides include the elegant cushion, the square Asscher or princess cut, and the oval. But the classic round brilliant diamond shape is still the leader.

Today’s favorite colored diamond is canary yellow with pink coming on strong. When surrounded by white diamonds, these make an exciting and different engagement ring. And many wedding rings are

and different engagement ring. And many wedding rings are featuring diamond center stones in all shades

featuring diamond center stones in all shades of pink as well as deep blue, or gray-blue surrounded by round brilliant diamonds for added dazzle.

surrounded by round brilliant diamonds for added dazzle. Jewelry Doctor – Summertime Jewelry Care Hot summer
surrounded by round brilliant diamonds for added dazzle. Jewelry Doctor – Summertime Jewelry Care Hot summer

Jewelry Doctor – Summertime Jewelry Care

Hot summer days and nights are often dangerous times for precious jewelry. Pearls, diamonds, gold rings and tennis bracelets are frequently victims. Active sports, perspiration, pool water, and high humidity can dim the luster and even cause the loss of valuable gems due to weakened settings. Here are some tips to protect your jewelry this summer.

• Diamonds are magnets for grease which can reduce their brilliance. Remove greasy residue that builds up from skin oils, soap, and airborne particles by soaking diamonds regularly in alcohol.

• Pearls should be worn touching

clothes not skin. Perspiration can weaken silk cords. Wipe pearls after every wearing. Avoid chemicals. Put pearls on after hair spray and perfume. Let us check to see if restringing is needed.

• Karat Gold can be damaged by

the chlorine in swimming pool water as well as in many household products. Always remove gold jewelry before swimming or doing

housework.

• Tennis bracelets containing many

gems are at risk if prongs are worn

or weakened by wear or rough treatment. Now is the time to let us do a safety check on your bracelets, rings, and necklaces before any gems are lost.

Now is the time to let us do a safety check on your bracelets, rings, and

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I’d like to take this moment to honor all those who put their lives on
I’d like to take this moment to
honor all those who put their
lives on the line to protect and
serve our community – BR and
Gonzales Police Departments,
Ascension Parish Sheriffs Office,
State Police and all the local
firefighters and the supporting
administrative personnel that
work tirelessly to keep our
homes and streets safe.
Thank you for all you do!
My friend and APSO
Major Lee Anderson
He's always willing to
lend a helping hand!
My prayer for those who serve our community - -
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Your love and Your presence.
Thank you that Your plans for us are good.
Thank you for all those who serve and protect our community.
I ask that you bless and protect all those that serve.
Loose your angels around them, and bless them in their going
out and their coming in.
Surround them with your favor like a shield, and give them
wisdom and discernment in all they do.
Give their families a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Lord, I pray our community honors those that serve, and I pray those
that serve know they are placed by God in positions of
authority to do Your will.
Thank you in advance for uniting our community.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Classmate and hero,
Matthew Gerald
To my leftt-
Lt. Jeff LeGrange and
Lt. Joey Meyers
Giving to the community
during 2013
Christmas Crusade

7th District Volunteer Fire Department Left to right: Alden Gautreau, Rusty LeBlanc, Dillon Broussard, Kristi Raines, Derrick Abney, Ricky Moran, Jr., and Michael Soniat

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Nathaniel "Nat" Stephens - Fire Chief Geismar Volunteer Fire Department

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13

Knights of Columbus Hosts 41st Annual Firefighter Appreciation Banquet

Knights of Columbus Councils within Ascension Parish hon- ored firefighters throughout the parish during its 41st Annual Firefighter and 18th Junior Firefighter Appreciation Banquet Wednesday night at the Black Bayou KC Hall.

The event was sponsored by the Councils of St. Theresa of Avila #2657, Fr. James Clement #6389, St. Mark #8147 and St. John the Evangelist #8324.

St. Amant Fire Department Fire Chief & Constable James E. LeBlanc served as the master of ceremonies and the 4th Degree Color Guard along with Boy Scout Troop #69 led the pledge of allegiance. Father Joseph

Scout Troop #69 led the pledge of allegiance. Father Joseph Sonia from Holy Rosary Catholic Church

Sonia from Holy Rosary Catholic Church led the invocation.

LeBlanc led the night off with a complete dedication to the 15 Law Enforcement Agents that have lost their lives in the past two years in the State of Louisiana.

Our hearts are filled with great sadness after learning of a total of 15 Louisiana Law Enforce- ment Officer Deaths in the past two years, stated LeBlanc.

• 2015 – 8 officers loss their lives

stated LeBlanc. • 2015 – 8 officers loss their lives • 2016 – 7 officers loss

• 2016 – 7 officers loss their lives

Out of these 15 deaths, nine loss their lives to gun fire, one by a heart attack, one by an auto accident, four were killed by vehicles striking them, two of these four were vehicles driven by drunk drivers.

We in the law enforcement community, firefighting community and Knights of Columbus community are all family, although our uniforms may be a different style and vary in color, our badges, shields and stars are all pinned upon our chest stated LeBlanc. Our missions may vary but our goals are the same, to Serve and Protect our communities, LeBlanc said.

We know that evil roams these streets and at any moment in the course of performing our duties the ultimate sacrifice might be required of us in the service to our community, for Law Enforcement is not a job but a calling and only a few will make the decision to commit to that calling to serve for some will give all that they have.

MY FRIENDS, ALL LIVES MATTER - LAW ENFORCE- MENT OFFICERS SHOULD BE RESPECTED - If they don't respond to that call for help, or investigate that suspi- cious subject, or stop for that stranded motorist, or rush to that call of shots fired then

who will?

The Knights of Columbus is a fraternal service organization established in 1882, according to Ricky Villar Sr., Grand Knight of Council #6389.

“We are so blessed to have the Emergency Response Agencies across our Parish, serving our communities so well”, stated Grand Knight Villar”.

Louisiana State Fire Marshal H. “Butch” Browning served as the guest speaker and spoke about “telling our story”.

Browning explained to the group, that Volunteer Firefighters are becoming harder and harder to find, and

that we should continue leading the way of explaining to our community residents, what it means to continue to Serve and Protect our Communities.

leading the way of explaining to our community residents, what it means to continue to Serve
leading the way of explaining to our community residents, what it means to continue to Serve
The large crowd inside the Black Bayou KC Hall also heard from State Representative Johnny

The large crowd inside the Black Bayou KC Hall also heard from State Representative Johnny Berthelot, Parish Councilman Benny Johnson and Ascension Parish Sheriff’s Office Chief Deputy Bobby Weber, who all spoke about the friendships and the unity we treasurer in Ascension Parish when it involves all our Emergency Response Agencies in Ascension Parish.

Each area fire department chose one junior firefighter and one firefighter of the year from their

departments to be honored at the banquet. Winners included Junior Nicolas Garon from Sorrento, Junior Connolly Carriere from 7th. Dist., Junior Brady Thibeau from Galvez- Lake, Junior Blake Broussard from St. Amant. Firefighter Tarrell Milan from Fifth Ward, Firefighter Timothy Mayeux from Prairieville, Firefighter David Williams (DW) from Geismar, Firefighter Derrick Abney from 7th. Dist., Fire- fighter Tristin Dominque from Sorrento, Firefighter Bryce Broussard from Gonzales, Fire- fighter Sam Colon from Galvez-

The Solid Choice in Ascension Parish Baton Rouge 225.761.1117 • Prairieville 225.677.7177 • Alexandria 318.442.6420
The Solid Choice in
Ascension Parish
Baton Rouge 225.761.1117 • Prairieville 225.677.7177
• Alexandria 318.442.6420 • Bunkie 318.346.6900

Lake, and Firefighter Shane Rojas from St. Amant.

The area Grand Knights also recognized Junior Firefighter Brady Thibeau and Firefighter Timothy Mayeau as their Junior

and Firefighter of the Year for

2016.

St. Amant Fire Department Chaplain Ken Spivey closed out the banquet with the benedic- tion to all our firefighters and law enforcement agents across the State of Louisiana.

“Lord, tonight and every night we ask you to please be with all

tonight and every night we ask you to please be with all law enforcement officers. Keep
tonight and every night we ask you to please be with all law enforcement officers. Keep

law enforcement officers. Keep them safe and free from harm. They are our soldiers on the front line of the battle against evil. If one should fall this day - wrap their family in your loving arms. Surround them with Your angels, loving family, friends, neighbors and caring people to comfort them. Ease their pain. Help them to mourn well. In Jesus' name and for Your Glory, Amen.”

people to comfort them. Ease their pain. Help them to mourn well. In Jesus' name and

15

The Hall for All Occassions! Accommodates up to 300 guest. • Full catering menu •
The Hall for
All Occassions!
Accommodates up
to 300 guest.
• Full catering menu
Outdoor Pavillion
for Weddings
• Space for seminars
Business meetings
• Birthday parties
Call to set up an appointment
to view our venues.
225.677.5545
17425 Airline Hwy • Prairieville
Catering Coordinator Jena Guidry
Hwy • Prairieville Catering Coordinator Jena Guidry Lorna C. Bourgeois and Dustin M. Delaune are very

Lorna C. Bourgeois and Dustin M. Delaune are very excited to announce the newest artists to our arts collective. Our fall curriculum has begun, and Drama Kids starts on September 12, so go online to register or call 225-210-7404. We have classes Tuesday- Saturday, so we are sure you can find a slot for yourself or your child to explore Voice, Guitar, Photography, Visual Art or Theatre or Film Arts. We invite all ages to take part!

LA ARTS Newest Faculty Members:

Jennifer Esneault:

Photography Artist

Photographs have always been a pretty big deal in Jennifer’s family. In her parents and grandparents’ houses, the walls are adorned with portraits and albums and photo boxes line the end tables and book shelves. Jennifer’s mom taught her an appreciation for those photos, showing her that they connect her to a time and place and a generation beyond what’s right now. When Jennifer was 9, she asked Santa for a camera, and he did not disappoint. Jennifer has been a shutterbug ever since. After spending some years in a middle school classroom, she left to pursue my artistic dream of being a photographer. Jennifer is excited to join with the other artists at LA ARTS and work with young people looking for a way to flex their creativity and make moments last forever.

way to flex their creativity and make moments last forever. Tad Kivett: Instrumental Artist: 16 Tad

Tad Kivett:

Instrumental Artist:

16

moments last forever. Tad Kivett: Instrumental Artist: 16 Tad is a resident of Baton Rouge LA.

Tad is a resident of Baton Rouge LA. and a native of Gonzales LA. He was introduced to music by his father who gave him a ukulele at

the age of 5. He quickly took to the instrument and entered a talent show at the age of 6 and won grand prize. He joined the elementary school band at age nine and learned to play the saxophone. He founded the first Jazz band at East Ascension High School and arranged and transposed all of the music. At the age of 16 Tad began teaching guitar lessons at the local music store in Gonzales LA. He graduated from LSU with a bachelor of music degree. During his college years he learned to play many instru- ments and after graduating, he remained teaching and performing. Tad teaches stringed instruments from guitar to violin, woodwinds and brass instruments.

Celeste Vellion:

Performing Artist in Residence

instruments. Celeste Vellion: Performing Artist in Residence Celeste Angelle Veillon is an award winning performer

Celeste Angelle Veillon is an award winning performer residing in the Greater Baton Rouge area. For those who have heard her sing or witnessed her magic on the stage, Celeste has won the hearts of fans in theaters from New Orleans to Baton Rouge and arenas and venues from the West Coast to the East Coast. In addition to her stage career, she maintains a solo performance career by giving concerts, recitals and one woman shows and uses her angelic voice to sing for funerals, weddings and other sacred celebrations. Her vocal versatility enables to her to sing any genre of music.

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17

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: The (Often Unintentional) Unauthorized Practice of Law in

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished:

The (Often Unintentional) Unauthorized Practice of Law in Medicaid Planning

In previous months, we’ve discussed Medicaid planning and the importance of planning ahead for the possibility of nursing home care. But you don’t want to take planning advice from just anyone. You need to make sure the person putting your plan together is someone who actually has the knowledge – and the authority – to come up with a plan that will achieve your objectives. A determination of eligibility for Medicaid is, at its core, a financial determination. If the applicant’s resources and income

By Linda Melancon

are below specified levels, the applicant qualifies for Medicaid. However, qualifying for Medicaid will often require that assets be transferred or otherwise made “not countable” to get a person below the strict resource limits that Medicaid imposes. That kind of planning can often move from the realm of financial advice to the realm of legal advice. If a non-attorney advisor crosses the often murky line between the two and engages in the unauthorized practice of law, it can have disas- trous consequences for everyone involved. But what is the unauthorized practice of law? The criteria for the unauthorized practice of law varies from state to state. In the broad sense, it can include giving legal advice, representing someone in court, and selecting and preparing legal documents. In a recent advisory opinion, the Florida Supreme Court stated that it is the unauthorized practice of law for a non-lawyer to participate in preparation of personal service contracts between Medicaid applicants and caregivers, preparation and execution of qualified income trusts, and giving legal advice regarding how to qualify for Medicaid under Florida law. So what would the unauthorized practice of law look

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like in real life? Uncle Cosmo, a former financial advisor, offers to help you with a few things to get Mom qualified for Medicaid. He’s seen a lot of documents, he’s worked with a lot of lawyers, and he knows a thing or two about Medicaid planning. You might want to rethink that. The penalties for unauthorized practice of law apply to a family member just like they would to any third party advisor, and they can be steep. For an individual in Louisiana, the unauthorized practice of law can carry a fine of up to $1,000, up to two years i mprisonment, or both. In Louisiana, the unauthorized practice of law specifically in- cludes preparing documents that purport to transfer title to immovable property, which is an issue that may come up frequently in Medicaid planning. Uncle Cosmo, offering to draw up the donation of Mom’s timberland in West Feliciana Parish for you, “for a lot less than a lawyer will charge”, may find himself facing fines and jail time for his troubles. It is true that Uncle Cosmo may not run afoul of the penalties for unauthorized practice of law if no one reports him. But another very significant problem may arise when that document Uncle Cosmo drew up for you is called into question. His well-inten- tioned efforts may cost you more time and money to qualify for Medicaid in the long run, or may cost you the ability to qualify at all. Suppose you get the

Medicaid application filled out and submitted, and Medicaid comes back and says, Mom has too many assets, application rejected. At this point, you go to your attorney and learn that Mom still owns that $500,000 piece of property in West Feliciana Parish because the donation Uncle Cosmo drafted is invalid. And now Mom has Alzheimer’s and lacks legal capacity to sign a new donation or a power of attorney letting you act on her behalf. At this point, you may be looking at a much more involved and costly process, such as interdiction, to obtain authority to act on Mom’s behalf. Further, once you qualify as Mom’s curator, Medicaid planning to preserve assets will not be possible. Planning for the possibility of needing nursing home care can be a crucial factor in helping seniors meet the financial burden of long-term care. If you are looking into Medicaid for yourself or a loved one, be sure to seek advice from an attorney qualified to provide that advice. Not only may seeking advice from your financial advisor, CPA, or Uncle Cosmo constitute the unauthorized practice of law, it may well prevent you from being able to protect assets at all.

Mrs. Melancon has engaged in the practice of law in Louisiana for the past 17 years. The primary focus of her practice is estate planning, special needs planning, elder law and probate. She is also accredited by the VA to give advice regarding veterans’ benefits. For more information, please contact her at 225-744-0027. You may also visit her website at www.LegacyCenterLa.com

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4 Media Trends To Know In 2016 by Orhan Mc Millan dezinsINTERACTIVE
4 Media Trends To
Know In 2016
by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE

Let’s be honest consumers are no longer only exposed to services or new products simply from browsing the internet or walking into a store. We live in a world where we are constantly consciously and subconsciously being advertised to. This is done through a variety of devices and social media platforms. This has lead to digital marketing evolving to ensure that messages are getting to the right people. Here are 4 trends of 2016, proving that digital marketing is surely evolving.

LiveVideo Streaming: Mobile technology as well as connectivity is

constantly improving leading to more and more time being spent on mobile devices. Consumers are spending 162 minutes of their day on mobile devices. Of those 162 minutes 86% of that time is being spent on apps and 14% browsing. With those numbers in mind many businesses have been concentrating more on advertising via mobile apps. Lately they’ve been experimenting with live video streaming apps.This is a good platform for businesses to host Q&A’s.Which is a great way not only to communicate with your audience but also have them communicate with you.

Podcast:Though podcast have been in existence for years now it wasn’t until 2015 that podcast listeners grew significantly all over the world. This growth is simply because technology has finally caught up with the medium. Mobile apps such as iTunes and Stitcher for android allow users to subscribe and sync new podcast directly to their phone. Podcast are great for amplifying the personality of you or your business. It also allows for your audience to listen while multitasking.A good podcast will build a following. For every new follower you have a new

lead. Once these new followers hear the information on your podcast they’ll visit your website, blog, and other platforms, in search of more information.

Instagram:Visual stimulation has somewhat taken over society, so there is no shock as to why Instagram is now one of the top social media apps. Instagram is now catering to the business world, by offering paid advertising.This can be done in a 3 second video or with a carousel ad.

Pinterest: Like many other social media platforms after noticing its popularity started cashing in on it by catering to businesses in some way or another.Though we may not all be fully used to buyable pins, Pinterest is giving us more.They are now allowing brands to target a specific person based on their interests.

Ninety percent of information transmitted to the brain is visual. Visuals also are processed 60,000 times faster than plain text in the brain.All four of the above trends have a visual aspect to them, which explains why all are trending.We don’t want to lose site of the role written content plays but we most definitely want to always make sure that whatever we’re putting out there is visually appealing. Draw them in with the visuals and keep them there with interesting content.

putting out there is visually appealing. Draw them in with the visuals and keep them there

19

Microscopes in Dentistry

Because Bad Things Come in Small Packages

By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD

Dr.Bessonet is among only 1% of dentists in the world who use a surgical microscope in his practice.

Seeing is Succeeding

The human mouth isn't a very big place. And the structures within your mouth that are of concern are even smaller. Furthermore, most of the things that affect your oral health are just plain tiny. Sometimes the causes of problems are invisible to the naked eye. Areas of decay on the teeth start small, so if your dentist uses a microscope he can find and treat the decay with a small filling that will not only be invisible, but will preserve the maximum amount of tooth structure ensuring the health and stability of that tooth. It is very common for teeth with large fillings to develop cracks

very common for teeth with large fillings to develop cracks in them. If the cracks go

in them. If the cracks go unnoticed by your dentist, they will eventually result in the need for root canals. Sometimes, if the crack progresses too far before treatment, the tooth will become hopeless and have to be removed. The key to conservative treatment is finding and treating the problems early, but you can’t treat what you can’t see! And the better your dentist can see these things, the better work he'll be able to do for you-whether its preventive, restorative, or cosmetic.

Bigger is Better

That's exactly why Dr. Bessonet uses a microscope in so many of his cases. Consider a root canal situation, for example. Thor- ough cleaning out of debris and decay in tooth itself is ab- solutely critical to the success of the treatment, and to the long-term health of the patient. The task in such a case is to completely clean out all the harmful Bacteria in the root canal system that is made up of multiple, tiny canals within the roots that are about the size of pencil lead sometimes. Using a high-powered, illuminated dental microscope, he can

clearly see all the areas within that tiny space and remove debris until the root canal area is truly clean. If any debris or nerve tissue is left behind in those canals, the root canal will not work and the tooth will either have to be retreated or extracted.

Precision is Perfection

Another advantage of microscope use is that it enables Dr. Bessonet to perform restorative and cosmetic procedures with unbeatable precision. Teeth surfaces and areas needing repair are seen for what they really are, so that materials and methods can be chosen accordingly. There's nothing left to guesswork or chance. And the result of this attention to detail is accuracy of fit, beautiful shaping, and a perfect smile. Many times the key to successful and long lasting cosmetic treatment is preserving as much enamel as possible. By using a microscope, Dr. Bessonet can be ultra conservative in the way he shapes the teeth, ensuring beautiful, stable results.

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Calvin G. Bessonet, DDS, FAGD
13375 Hwy 73, Suite 1 • Geismar, LA 70734 • Call: 225.673.6910 • www. AscensionDentist.com

20

DUTCHTOWN PRIMARY SCHOOL SCHEDULE SPONSORED BY DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY Sandra Alfred Assistant Principal Patricia S.
DUTCHTOWN PRIMARY SCHOOL SCHEDULE SPONSORED BY DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY
Sandra Alfred
Assistant Principal
Patricia S. Espinoza, M.Ed.
Principal
Welcome Back to Dutchtown Primary Eagles!
We are excited to SOAR into a new year!
Welcome Back to
Dutchtown Primary Eagles!
We are excited to SOAR
into a new year!
Parents, if you have never
registered for black board
please do that this year, so
that you can follow your
Eagle’s progress. Simply
write a note to your child’s
home room teacher and we
will send the information
home!
Mark your calendar for
these important dates…
October 18, 2016 / 1:30
November 15, 2016 / 1:30
November 18, 2016 / 1:30
December 6, 2016 /1:30
December 21, 2016 / 1:30
Holidays
**Subject to change
September 5, 2016
Labor Day
October 10 and 11, 2016
Fall Break
January 12, 2017 / 1:30
January 13, 2017 /
(Staff Dev Day)
NO SCHOOL FOR STUDENTS
November 21-25, 2016
Thanksgiving Holidays
November 8, 2016
Election Day
February 7, 2017 / 1:30
March 7, 2017 / 1:30
May 9, 2017 / 1:30
May 23, 2017 / 2:30
May 24, 2017 / 1:30
May 25, 2017 / 12:30
(Last Day for Students)
December 22, 2016-January 4, 2017
Christmas Holidays
January 16, 2017
Martin Luther King, Jr’s
EARLY DISMISSALS**
Birthday
September 8, 2016 / 1:30
September 9, 2016 /
(Staff Dev Day)
NO SCHOOL FOR STUDENTS
February 27-28 & March 1, 2017
Mardi Gras
April 13-21, 2017
Easter Holidays
"Your Community Physical Therapy
Provider" for 9 years.
Stephen Jackson, PT, DPT
DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY • 13053 HIGHWAY 73, SUITE B • GEISMAR, LOUISIANA 70734
(225) 744-3631 • fax (225) 744-3647

21

Monday Monday October October 10th 10th Pelican Pelican Point Point - - Links Links Course
Monday Monday October October 10th 10th
Pelican Pelican Point Point - - Links Links Course Course
2016 EA vs STA RYDER CUP
SHOOT OUT GOLF TOURNAMENT
All Proceeds Will Benefit
EA & St. Amant High Schools
For more information on the event,
call James E. LeBlanc at (225) 445-5766, Don Hanna at (225) 802-5450,
Derek J. LeBlanc at (225) 313-5775, or Tommy Trahan at (225) 572-2426.
You can also contact Sherri Jenkins at (225) 644-4820.
For More Information Contact:
Bret Hughes (EA) 571.0807
bret@hughesinsurance.org
Camile Trabeau (STA) 573-2530
camjoy@eatel.net
• Format….2 Man Team/ Best Ball or Scramble/ Match Play
• Lunch and Registration….11:00 AM
• Tee Time….12:00 PM Shotgun Start
• Mulligans….$10.00 Each Player, 1 Per Player
• Handicap Slots….Team captains will determine matches within slots.
• Each match is worth 3 points, 1 for the front 9, 1 for the back 9 and
1 for the total.
• Awards Ceremony and Meal Immediately Following (Beverages on Course)
• Ryder Cup Entry Fee….$100.00 per player
• Hole Sponsorship for Golf Tournament….$100.00 donation
Forms can be dropped off to Loyson Porta’s office or Hughes Insurance or mailed
to Shoutout, 510 S. Burnside Ave., Ste. C, Gonzales, LA 70737
Can also Fax Form to 644-4940 or email it to bret@hughesinsurance.org
Player
H’Cap
Team(EA/STA)
Cell
Email

22

23

23

The Country Kitchen restaurant in Gonzales is the epitome of southern hospitality and homestyle cooking.

The Country Kitchen restaurant in Gonzales is the epitome of southern hospitality and homestyle cooking. For 30 years we’ve been serving up southern favorites buffet style like fried chicken, red beans, meatloaf, seafood gumbo, cornbread dressing and fried chicken livers. Therestaurant first opened its doors on Jan 1 st of 1986 and we enjoy our “town favorite” status to this day. The place just keeps filling up duringthe three hour lunch rush and we couldn’t be happier. We recently expanded our hours of operation to include Friday night dinner service.The Country Kitchen is grateful to our longtime patrons for making our wide selection of comfort food offerings a success for so many years. “It’s great to get new customers in but nothing beats seeing the same familiar faces day after day, as well as watching families come year after year and seeing their kids grow up.” says owner SkipperMcInnis. The building that houses Country Kitchen and the Horn of Plenty next

food and managed to find undisputed success. In 2001, Skipper McInnis took over as owner and continued the tradition of great recipes and rustic atmosphere coupled with great customer service. Skipper put a lot of personal effort into remodel- ing the inside and outside of the building over the last few years. The authentic country

feel has been main- tained while accessibility and overall atmosphere have been enhanced. Skipper’s oldest daughter, Amy Shamburger, recently stepped in helping to manage the store. “I grew up in the restaurant business and I love the fast pace. Country Kitchen has so much character and charm, it’s been a joy to be part of its growth. I’m currently working to establish new of- ferings like our banquet

Skipper McInnis door has been around for over 70 years. The structure was originally a feed and hardware store, then a furniture store before becoming the notable homestyle buffet restaurant it is today. When Country Kitchen original owners, Jean and Jerry Cannon, first made the decision to go into the restaurant business back in 1985, they didn’t know much about it. They stuck to the principles of good customer service coupled with great

the principles of good customer service coupled with great Skipper a few years younger packages which
the principles of good customer service coupled with great Skipper a few years younger packages which

Skipper a few years younger packages which you can get details on our website”. Walking into The Country Kitchen is like strolling into a real country home. Antiques and collectibles adorn the walls. “I just love seeing patrons showing their grandkids mementos from their own childhood and hearing their stories. I’ve added items from my own childhood memorabilia to the collection. It is a real joy having a place to showcase these items and watch others share a trip down

to showcase these items and watch others share a trip down This is Chicken is Country

This is Chicken is Country Style

Original owners Jean and Jerry Cannon decided to go in to the restaurant business in 1985.

Cannon decided to go in to the restaurant business in 1985. Kimberly Moran, Jana Capiel and

Kimberly Moran, Jana Capiel and Lori Carmouche

Skippers brother follows in the family footsteps

peach cobbler, and ba- nana pudding with cus- tard. We have a softserve ice cream

peach cobbler, and ba-

nana pudding with cus- tard. We have a softserve ice cream machine that makes the perfect topping for our peach cobbler! On Sundays we feature our biggest family favorite dessert, apple crunch. The Country Kitchen serves our signature fried chicken everyday, but our other dish offerings vary daily. If you’d like to know what else we’re cooking up each day feel free to check our weekly menus on our website at

CountryKitchenGonza-

Skipper with daughter Amy

les.com . Our lunch hours are 11am to 2PM Sunday through Friday. We open for dinner on Friday nights from 5:30pm until 8:30pm and for a limited time you’ll find BBQ short ribs!

Like the Country Kitchen on Facebook and follow them to learn

memory lane” says Ginger McInnis, Skipper’s wife and owner of “Ginger’s Attic” in the front of the store. Upon entering the Country Kitchen you get

a warm welcome by one of our

friendly staff eager to get you seated quickly. Two of our wait staff, Lori Carmouche and Jana Capiel,

are the daughters of the original owners and have been serving customers here since the doors opened over 30 years ago. Our two main food bars serve up an average of 18

different dishes a day. We offer

a full salad bar with a

selection of seven different dressings and two premade salads. Everyone’s favorite is our elaborate dessert bar. Everything is homemade so be sure to save room for bread pudding with rum sauce,

so be sure to save room for bread pudding with rum sauce, Pete Fountain & Skipper

Pete Fountain & Skipper

bread pudding with rum sauce, Pete Fountain & Skipper Ginger McInnis is owner of “Ginger’s Attic”

Ginger McInnis is owner of “Ginger’s Attic” in the front of the restaurant

about promotional dishes and enter to win the weekly drawings for a Free Meal for 4! We look forward to

serving the Gonzales community for many more years!

to serving the Gonzales community for many more years! Sunday - Friday 11am-2pm Friday Nights! 5:30pm-8:30pm

Sunday - Friday 11am-2pm

Friday Nights! 5:30pm-8:30pm

615 East Ascension St, Gonzales 644-4661

CountryKitchenGonzales.com

Congratulations to the 2017 Seniors and Students Returning to Classes WHAT EVER YOU NEED •
Congratulations to the 2017 Seniors and
Students Returning to Classes
WHAT EVER YOU NEED • WE CAN HELP
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IN OUR OFFICE
ALL PROCESSED IN
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TAGS & TITLES, LLC
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644-1512
AND MUCH MORE
11296 HWY. 431, ST. AMANT, LA 70774
Parish Readies for Lift Off of 2016 Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival Sept. 23-24 Parish

Parish Readies for Lift Off of 2016 Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival Sept. 23-24

Parish President Kenny Matassa and the Ascension Festivals and Cultural Council, Inc. an- nounced this week all systems are go for lift off of the 2016 Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival at Lamar-Dixon Expo Center on Sept. 23-24.

Each night after a day of festival attractions, more than 30 hot air balloons and three special shape balloons will light up the September sky at the expo center’s large green space providing the young, and young at heart, visual sensations followed by majestic fireworks shows.

“Here we are, right around the

corner from another highly anticipated Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival,” said President Matassa. “And again the balloon committee has put together a great lineup of live music, entertainment, food and many attractions for the festival-goer of all ages.”

Festival admission each day is $5 for ages 13-plus, and free for children 12 and under. Organizers are encouraging patrons to bring their own lawn chairs. Ice chests, pets, bicycles, weapons, illegal substances and personal motorized vehicles are prohibited. Bags, backpacks, strollers and wagons may be subject to security checks for

your safety.

On Friday, Sept. 23 gates will open at 4 p.m. and close at 10

p.m. Gates will reopen Saturday at noon and close at 10 p.m.

Along with the balloon glows,

open at 4 p.m. and close at 10 p.m. Gates will reopen Saturday at noon and
Families enjoyed the numerous carnival rides at last year’s Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival. The

Families enjoyed the numerous carnival rides at last year’s Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival. The 2016 Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival is set for Sept. 23 and 24 at Lamar-Dixon Expo Center.

tethered rides will be offered pending safe weather conditions. Balloon officials are reminding all patrons that windy conditions may warrant suspension of both.

Ambeau said hot air balloon tethered rides will be available for $20 per adult (13 and over) and $10 for children (12 and under).

Carnival rides will open on Friday from 4 p.m. till 10 p.m. and on Saturday from noon till 10 p.m. Ride bracelets will be available for $25 on Friday from 5 p.m. till 10 p.m., and $25 from noon till 10 p.m. on Saturday.

This year, the Children’s Village will feature face painting, fingerprinting, a fire safety house, a magician and stilt walker. Kids will also get to pet animals at the Petting Zoo in the village.

Flight Operations Chief Robert

Ambeau said this year’s event will also include a Balloon Museum display located in the air-conditioned 4-H Building conference rooms/lobby.

Powered Parachute Displays/Flights will take place

at the green space field on

Saturday. The display will be from noon till 4 p.m. followed

by flights from 5 p.m. till 6:30 p.m.

A new feature this year is the

addition of Kewl Kites which are extra-large kites in exciting and amazing shapes. Kewl Kites will

kites in exciting and amazing shapes. Kewl Kites will Claw’D the Crazy Crab strode across the

Claw’D the Crazy Crab strode across the Lamar-Dixon Expo Center green space during last year’s Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival. Festival organizers said this year’s event will include three special shape balloons and more than 30 hot air balloons.

27

The Hall for All Occassions! Accommodates up to 300 guest. • Full catering menu •
The Hall for
All Occassions!
Accommodates up
to 300 guest.
• Full catering menu
Outdoor Pavillion
for Weddings
• Space for seminars
Business meetings
• Birthday parties
Call to set up an appointment
to view our venues.
225.677.5545
17425 Airline Hwy • Prairieville
Catering Coordinator Jena Guidry

fly on Friday and Saturday afternoons.

Live blues, and rhythm and blues music will grace the Mockler stage both nights. Friday night, Louisiana Music Hall of Fame alum and multiple-Grammy nominated artist Kenny Neal and the Neal Family Band will play an all evening performance on Friday from 5 p.m. till 10 p.m.

On Saturday blues rock power trio Don Berry and Rockin’ Horse will kick off the day’s music at 4 p.m., followed by regional favorites Kenny Acosta and the House Reckers at 6 p.m. Saturday’s headliner, The Chris Duarte Group from Austin, Texas, will take to the stage from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. Duarte won “Best New Talent” in Guitar Player Magazine’s 1995 Reader’s Poll. He also finished fourth in the magazine’s “Best Blues Guitarist” category that year behind legends Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy and B.B. King.

This year the Barbecue Competition will be open to all teams. It will take place on Saturday in Barn 7 from 8 a.m. till 5 p.m. Entry forms are available on the links below. Rodney Dupuy, of Cajun Livin’ and Cookin’ television show is organizing the barbecue competition, along with local businessman/realtor and volunteer activist Ken Firmin.

The Classic Car Show will again feature the finest motor vehicles from the regional area. The show will be held in the air conditioned 4-H Building on Saturday from 9:30 a.m. till 4 p.m. Entry forms are available on the links below. Ascension Parish Assessor Mert Smiley, himself a car and motorcycle enthusiast, is chairing this year’s car show.

Steinhauer Productions will hold their Arts and Crafts Show in the Trademart Building on both days of the festival.

For more information about the 2016 Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival and entry

about the 2016 Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival and entry forms, visit http://ascension- ballooning.com/ or

forms, visit http://ascension- ballooning.com/ or

https://www.facebook.com/as-

censionhotairballoonfestival.

Organizers said the website’s

event schedule is being confirmed and will be up shortly. For additional information you may call Martin McConnell at (225) 450-1035.

is being confirmed and will be up shortly. For additional information you may call Martin McConnell

28

Living On The Edge A young man told me not long ago that he liked

Living On The Edge

A young man told me not

long ago that he liked living on

the edge because it's exciting

and it keeps you feeling young.

I agree, believe me I've been

there. For the most of it I'm

done with living on the edge,

but that depends on how you

define that term. I actually do

spend a lot of time on the edge

of something. As a matter of

fact, I live on the edge of a road.

Highway 42. Imagine that.

Truth is, many humans, fish and

wildlife are attracted to edges.

Think about it. Most of us live

on the edge of a road, river,

field, lake or wooded area.

My dad told me long ago

that most snake encounters take

allow for a better view of the

surroundings. It doesn't matter

if you're hunting ducks, deer,

squirrels, rabbits, turkeys or

quail you'll find that you will be

spending a lot of time on the

edge of something.

In most cases fish are no

different than humans and ani-

mals. They're attracted to these

areas for the same reasons. Most

fish are caught on the edge of a

tree line, a grass line, a

structure, a drop off, or where

different currents lines are

formed, even out in the

deep blue sea.

Although some of my living

on the edge days are behind me,

I look forward to those that are

place along different terrain

yet to come. I'm sure I'll see

changes such as fences, roads,

some of you there sooner or

swamps, ridges, water and forest

later, because we're all attracted

edges. This past hunting season

to those edges

proved that statement to be true

again with most of my snake

Till Next Time,

sightings on the edge of one

thing or another. We hunters or

fishermen spend a lot of time on

edges because much of the

game or fish that we pursue are

also attracted to edges. Most

deer are on the edge of swamps,

fields, ridges, roads, pipelines

and areas where new forest

meets old forest. These

separations of terrain often

"Don't Fall Off",

James "Goosie" Guice

Ascension Outdoors Air Times

TH E PELICAN - CH ANNEL 113 SAT. - 9:00 - A.M . SUN. - 7:30 - P.M .

M ON. - 9:00 - P.M .

EATEL - CH ANNEL 4 SAT. - 6:30 A.M . & 1:30 P.M . SUN. - 1:30 P.M .

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FRI. - 8 - P.M .

IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN ADVERTIZING PLEASE CALL

225-485-7997

29

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And Now- The Rest of the Story

by Bill Delaune

If you strictly adhere to the Linus Van Pelt philosophy of not discussing religion, politics or the Great Pumpkin in mixed company-then the most prominent question heard around town these days is, “Are you ready for some football?” Well, if you’re expecting the stock “Man, I can’t wait” answer from me, then think again, Pigskin.

I have been perfectly content

watching USA Olympians like the sabre fencer with the great American name Ibtihaj Muhammed parry and thrust her way to a first round victory. Now I do wonder how a country that invented beach volleyball-that would be our California beach boys-can lose to Austria-a land-locked country with no coastline but maybe the Europeans watched a lot of “Beach Blanket Bingo” movies growing up. And how was Baton Rouge’s own Meghan O’Leary to know when she told a local radio host, “I’d row through excrement to get to the Olympics,” that she might just get her wish in the contaminated waters of Rio. But seriously, Michael Phelps, Katie Ledecky, and the US swimmers and the women’s gymnastics team have provided enough highlights to fill several reels even though the men’s gym team slipped off more equipment than kids at a greased pole contest. Now, there is one thing I’ve noticed about television’s coverage of the Olympics.

Every individual-whether he/she revels in the thrill of victory or wallows in the agony of defeat-has a touching story line.

I don’t care if he’s the oldest

Olympian with the youngest baby to ever win gold or if she’s the first swimmer to win the breast stroke before actually developing any breasts-every- body has a “breaking news” story. Okay, football fans, back to you. If I apply this journalistic

football fans, back to you. If I apply this journalistic technique to LSU’s upcoming football season-and

technique to LSU’s upcoming football season-and throw in a little Don King/Ali promo- tional jive (Think “Thrilla in Manilla”.), let see if we can get some of those water polo fanatics fired up about football…

1. Wisconsin- Forget that stale angle about LSU stealing defensive coordinator Dave Aranda (Does he have a “day veranda” at home?) from the Badgers. Call this one the “Cheese and Wine Classic” featuring two universities who perennially rank in the top ten in lists of party schools, alcohol consumption per capita and underage drinking. Sure it’s probably more of a “Chips and Beer” thing but we are in the dairy state and the wine gives the illusion that fans have some semblance of class. LSU’s top “draft” picks pour it on late and the Tigers come out a-“head” in front of Lambeau’s Cheese Heads.

2. Jacksonville State

Gamecocks-

A breather you say? Does anybody else remember a

poultry-nicknamed team called the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers at the Box last spring? It wasn’t just Chicken Little that thought the sky was falling back then. In a game billed as “Rooster Revenge”, the Tigers prove these Cocks aren’t quite that hard.

3. Mississippi State- In the first of several SEC stops on the “Dak’s Not Back?” tour, State begins life without massive quarterback Dak Prescott. Though it seems like he was there forever, Bulldog fans will assure you he was only in school “a couple of terms”- they just happen to be Bush’s and Obama’s. To paraphrase former State defensive tackle and great American philosopher Jerry Clower, “Trying to tackle Leonard Fournette is like squeezing a watermelon seed.” Fournette slips away for several long runs as LSU silences the Cowbells.

4. Auburn- “Which Tiger Will

In the

Earn His Stripes?” showdown, the Bayou Bengals must defend

30

the rights to their nickname against their namesake from the Plains. Actually, Auburn fans would rather cheer “War Eagle!”-one theory being that the Saxon Indians’ warriors would yell “War Eagle” when the buzzards started circling their dead victims. The scavengers may be out early in this contest if Auburn doesn’t tackle any better than they did last year.

5. Missouri-

If ever there was a game that called for misdirection, it’s this “East Is East and West Is East” matchup. You see, Old Mizzou plays in the Eastern Division of the SEC despite being one of the westernmost locations. The only situation more geographically confusing was when the New Orleans Pop Festival was held at the Baton Rouge International Speedway in downtown Prairieville and that was in 1969 when we had an excuse. We were all stoned. The solution is elementary, my dear Watson Brown. Move Missouri and Vanderbilt to the West, Alabama and Auburn to the East and you haven’t disturbed their precious Iron Bowl or, even more holy to hear some talk, Bama-Tennessee on the third Saturday of October. Of course, it won’t happen be- cause it makes too much sense and the league office is in-all together now-Birmingham! In the meantime, LSU tames another group of toothless Tigers-even if Mike doesn’t make an appearance.

6. Florida-

The “Which D.B.U. Do You Be?” battle to settle once and for all which school gets to call itself “Defensive Back University”. The halftime show features music by the Doobie Brothers and legendary hijacker D.B. Cooper parachutes into the stadium, throwing $100 bills to the crowd. LSU’s Tre Davious White’s

interception saves the game and the Tigers retain the rights to the D.B.U. title.

7. Southern Miss-

In this “Remembering Curley” clash, the two teams join forces to honor Curley Hallman who coached at USM before coming to LSU in 1991. Hallman was one of the most successful coaches in Eagle history-thanks in a large part to a lightly-recruited quarterback from Kiln named Brett Favre. Curley’s career at LSU didn’t leave anybody “Brettless” and his 1994 squad even lost to Southern Miss before one of the smallest crowds in Tiger Stadium history. There won’t be many left in their seats after the half this year except those of us who want see the unfortu- nate Eagle kicker who will lose his job to St. Amant’s Briggs Bourgeois next season.

8. Mississippi- Pity poor Ole Miss. They can’t play “Dixie” anymore, they can’t wave Rebel flags and now, after one of their best seasons, they get blindsided by the NCAA for multiple

violations. Thus this contest gets labeled the “Freeze Out” rivalry to commemorate Coach Hugh Freeze’s rapid rise to fame in Oxford and his impending decline. LSU helps hasten his departure with a game-winning 89-yard punt return in the fourth quarter by Fournette- reminiscent of the Tigers last Heisman winner Billy Cannon.

9. Alabama- Nick Saban claimed his two players who were caught in a West Monroe park at 3 a.m. with drugs and a stolen gun were just victims of some “disgruntled LSU fans”. A sold-out stadium of not-so- disgruntled fans watch deliriously as the Tigers upset the number one Tide in the “Just Once” bloodletting. James Ingram belts out the theme song as long-suffering LSU patrons have their prayers to beat Bama “just once” are answered.

10. Arkansas- New First Laddie and former governor Bill Clinton throws out the first ball in the “Bouree

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Bowl”. When asked why this title was chosen instead of the “Battle for the Boot”, the ever-smiling Clinton said, “If you bouree, you have ‘No Trump’”. Alas, despite the Presidential victory by Arkansas’s native son-oops, daughter-it’s just not in the cards of the Hogs this year as LSU holds all the aces.

11. South Alabama- Since Halloween weekend is now an open date and since no game has honored our Olympic stars, this final home contest serves a dual purpose. Dubbed as the “Night of Olympic Heroes”, fans come in costume as their favorite Olympian. And in order to include the University of South Alabama visitors, they are able to chant “U-S-A, U-S-A” to honor their team and the costumed medalists. Costume suggestions may include Phelps, Ledecki or any female beach volleyball participant. Couples may consider Bruce and Caitlyn Jenner. Unfortunately for the Jags, Fournette comes as Usain Bolt

and sprints to several Purple and Gold medals.

12. Texas A&M-

The Aggies saved Les Miles’s job last year with a lackluster performance so they wouldn’t dream of ruining his team’s perfect season in this “More for Les” finale. The only glitch in the entire evening comes in the post-game press conference when the rid- dle-speaking Miles attempt to explain what “Hullabaloo, Ca- neck! Caneck!” means in the Aggie fight song. So there you have it-a fearless forecast of the regular season. I’ll keep for post-season picks to myself for now so that the odds in Vegas don’t get driven down. But I will give you one hint-LSU will play a meaningful game against Miles’s alma mater. In the meantime, my new assignment is to come up with a catchy story line to promote the highly-anticipated Tulane- Wake Forest matchup on September 1. Talk about “Mission Impossible”.

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PUBLISHERS NOTE: It was great seeing everyone. I took many photos and tried to put

PUBLISHERS NOTE: It was great seeing everyone. I took many photos and tried to put as many different people in the magazine as possible. However there were a number of photos that came out blurry and some folks had weird facial expessions so I did not run those photos to avoid embarassing anyone.

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Useless Random Facts with Kellie • Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada

Useless Random Facts

with Kellie

Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by

Canada Post on February 1, 1969!

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for

most trips of less than 50 minutes!

Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!

There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants!

It’s illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis!

A crocodile always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland!

Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows!

More people use blue toothbrushes, than red ones!

Slugs have 4 noses!

In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons!

A San Francisco Highway Patrol Officer, called

Kevin Briggs, has talked around 200 people out of suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge since 1994.

While children of identical twins are legally first cousins, genetically, they are actually half siblings.

35

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ThoughtsfromBully
ThoughtsfromBully

ROCKY

MOUNTAIN

HIGH

Running with Steve

This month I visited my sister Janet in Colorado. Traveling alone was peaceful and relaxing. Get to the airport when I think I should. No girl nagging. I eased into the terminal only to find the long term parking lot ‘FULL’. Oh crap. Now I had to hustle across the street to a ‘Park-N-Fly’ lot. Fortunately my timing was perfect. After catching a shuttle and going through security I arrived at the gate as the last person boarding the plane. Girl nagging might have helped. I arrived in Colorado and my vacation began. My nephew Steve had plans for me the very first night. We had tickets to see Joe Bonamasa at Red Rocks. Bonamasa is a 39 year old rocker born 40 years too late. I had heard of Red Rocks and its wonderful auditorium in the mountains. We left early to park as close as possible however I had been warned that a walk will be involved. We arrived early enough to get a parking location and got out and began to walk. Right off Steve asked, “Uncle Mike we can stop anytime you need. I told him I’d be just fine. I play golf, I can walk.” Little did I know it wasn’t a walk it was a mountain side trail marathon that my old butt wasn’t ready

mountain side trail marathon that my old butt wasn’t ready rubber duck with a bikini top

rubber duck with a bikini top on the faucet blocking the knob to allow the shower to work. I eventually pulled this duck off only to find the hat on the duck could have been lifted to pull the shower knob. After a good washing with yellow duck soap and baby shampoo I made it to bed. I had a tee time to play golf the next morning and I was excited to play a course with plush fairways and perfect greens. However during my slubber I started dreaming of my golf game in Colorado. It was a cool breeze with low humidity when a flock of rubber ducks flew over sounding like Canadian geese. I then walked to the tee box where there were hundreds of rubber duck dropping covering it. It was like yellow Cheetos everywhere and stuck to my shoe. I woke from my dream and played golf only to find real Canadian geese droppings stuck to my shoe.

Being the Good Uncle has its Advantages

Being a Uncle has its advantages. You can step up and watch the kids at a restaurant by taking them outside while the parents have time to eat. Your family brings you to see major league baseball game and wear Braves memorabilia to support me and the worst team in baseball because I am a big Braves fan. In reality their team is the San Fransisco Giants, a team that has a chance to make the playoffs. The highlight of the game was to see D. J. LeMayeux play for the Rockies. He came to the plate and I started yelling, “Tiger Bait,Tiger Bait!.”Fans looked around at my chant and

Bait,Tiger Bait!.”Fans looked around at my chant and for. We finally hit black top again and

for. We finally hit black top again and the still had a constant upgrade that eventually I had to swallow my pride and declare, “I have to stop.” My hind end muscles were in a spasm state of mind and my legs were one twitch away from a ‘Charlie Horse cramp’. We made it to our seat after 3 rest stops and a frisking for weapons at the gate. I looked

out from this mountain side and

I was so high up the mountain,

I looked out over the valley and

could see lightning strike below

because we were higher than the clouds. We were so high up if God broke wind I’d know it. All-in-all Joe rocked and I started my Rocky Mountain High off with a bang. Let me declare their was no partaking of any legal substances during my entire trip. I was truly Rocky Mountain High.

Rubber Ducks Can Be Spooky

We made it home late and I needed to take a shower. While using the visitors bathroom I was bombarded with rubber ducks every- where. The tooth brush holder, rubber duck. The hand lotion dispenser, rubber duck. I looked on the wall and there was a painting I did 25 years ago for a Rubber Duck fundraiser. It was time to get in the shower and don’t you know, there was a

time to get in the shower and don’t you know, there was a 36 I spoke

36

to get in the shower and don’t you know, there was a 36 I spoke up
to get in the shower and don’t you know, there was a 36 I spoke up
to get in the shower and don’t you know, there was a 36 I spoke up

I spoke up and said, “He is an LSU Tiger, You are welcome.” I made friends and before the end of the game I had 12 or 14 fans chanting, ‘Tiger Bait, Tiger Bait.” Once the game was over ole’ Uncle Mike stepped up an took Addie, the tiny tornado, under his wing and calmed her down by showing her the bus that was coming to pick us up. You see, she gets excited about seeing and getting on the bus. It was fine with me to hold her at this time because she was so mesmerized she was calm and manageable. Now being on the bus no one knew the chili bean cheese nacho cheese chips were kicking in and I was having a problem not breaking wind. When you hold a baby in

diapers it is easy to not get the evil eye from the folks around you
diapers it is easy to not get the evil eye from the folks around you
diapers it is easy to not get the evil eye from the folks around you

diapers it is easy to not get the evil eye from the folks around you when you can blame it on the baby. Just being a good uncle. Just Saying.

Millie, My Little Helper

When I visit I generally have a couple of ‘honey do’ projects for her. This year I was asked to paint and put an outdoor yard bench together known as, Millie’s bench. Millie and I

started doing this project with her as the helper but it didn’t take long for this strong minded, strong willed 4 year old to realize I was the helper. I did have the opportunity to explain to her some simple terms us adults use. She is so inquisitive you have to explain new words such as flush and torc. Not an easy task. We were getting down to the last bolt and nut to finish the project when she was in a hurry so she could watch cartoons. I had to point out there was day light between the bolt and the wood and needed

to be tighten more. She looked at me in disbelief pointing out, “It’s night time Uncle Mike, what are you thinking?”

Fat Tire Beer

I played golf with Steve on his

birthday. After some coaxing I

encouraged him to enjoy a beer, while playing golf on his birthday, my treat. He ordered several ‘Fat Tire Beer’.

I have been in advertising for

35 years and know name recognition is very important. I

just let it slide with thoughts no body in there right mind would drink such a stupidly named beer. Especially in Louisiana.

I have had a fat lip. I have a fat

belly. I’m not stupid enough to say I’ve had a fat girl friend but

I can say I have never had a

Fat Tire beer. Since I returned home I was

at the bar at Pelican Point when

a young guy ordered a Fat Tire

Beer. I couldn’t believe it. Then

I went to Sammy’s for a break

when a guy ordered a Fat Tire

Beer. What’s the world coming to?

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2016 MGA Pelican Point Golf Club. T O U R N A M E N
2016 MGA Pelican Point Golf Club.
T
O
U
R
N
A
M
E
N
T
Pelican Point MGA host its
Annual Chicago Points Golf
Tournament.
MGA members are heading
down the home stretch to
achieve points to qualify for the
Pelican Cup Tournament to be
held later this year. With a few
tournaments to go before the
Pelican Cup golfers turned out in
droves with hopes to post scores
that move them closer to the
final goal.
This unique format benefits
consistant play and managing
your score within
your ability with a
bonus for special and
sometime lucky
shots.

38

Like every day in South Louisiana this time of year the weather was hot and

Like every day in South Louisiana this time of year the weather was hot and for some golfers their scores were hotter.

Jeff Powell found himself scoring great numbers for the second year in-a-row. Russell Williams and Mike Gill close

2016 MGA Chicago Points Final Results

Individual Division:

1st Place

Jeff Powell (+10)

2nd Place

Russell Williams

(+9)

3rd Place

Mike Gill (+8)

3rd Place

Fred Leffingwell (+8)

5th Place

Sam Lavigne (+7)

5th Place

Jay Leblanc (+7)

5th Place

Richard Young (+7)

5th Place

Keith Albert (+7)

5th Place

Darin Johnson (+7)

10th Place

Ed Amedee (+6)

2 Players Team Division:

1st Place Sam Lavigne & Jeff Powell (+17)

2nd Place Russell Williams & Ed Amedee (+15) 3rd Place Keith Albert & Mike Waguespack (+10)

4th Place

Trevor Adams & Jason Adams (+9)

5th Place

Mike Sittig & Mike Gill (+8)

6th Place

Richard Young & Frankie Schmitt (+7)

7th Place

Brent Broussard & David Amedee (+5)

8th Place

Chester Campbell & Sam Decoteau (+3)

8th Place

Jason Humphries & Daniel Euhus (+3)

8th Place

Joe O’Banion & Doyle Philippe (+3)

(+3) 8th Place Jason Humphries & Daniel Euhus (+3) 8th Place Joe O’Banion & Doyle Philippe

39

(+3) 8th Place Jason Humphries & Daniel Euhus (+3) 8th Place Joe O’Banion & Doyle Philippe
behind in individual scores. Sam Lavigne and Jeff Powell take First Place in the team
behind in individual scores. Sam Lavigne and Jeff Powell take First Place in the team
behind in individual scores. Sam Lavigne and Jeff Powell take First Place in the team

behind in individual scores. Sam Lavigne and Jeff Powell take First Place in the team event with Russell Williams and Ed Amedee coming in Second and rounding out the top three in

Third was Keith Albert (akaThing) and Mike Wasguespack After the tournament a large crowd showed up to support the golfers and enjoy a beverage

or two. Pelican Point has transformed its club house that entertains all its guest and members with a great wine selection and all the cold beer that is needed.

Good Luck to all the golfers that are on the edge of making the Pelican Cup. Play well in the tournaments to come guys.

the Pelican Cup. Play well in the tournaments to come guys. 24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service
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2016Senior’sClubChampionship Overall Gross Champion: Jim Livingston Overall Net Champion: Paul Davis First Flight

2016Senior’sClubChampionship

Overall Gross Champion:

Jim Livingston

Overall Net Champion:

Paul Davis

First Flight Results 1st Place Gross:

Jeff Powell

2nd Place Gross:

Championship Flight Results 1st Place Gross:

Jim Livingston

Pat Matherne 1st Place Net:

Michael Kulas 2nd Place Net:

2nd Place Gross:

Mike Sittig

Paul Castro

Second Flight Results 1st Place Gross:

1st Place Net:

Ed Amedee

Chad Braud

2nd Place Gross:

2nd Place Net:

Randy Simon 1st Place Net:

Sam Lavigne

Paul Davis 2nd Place Net:

Jim Whiddon

2016 JUNIOR CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP FINAL RESULTS Pelican Point Junior Club Champion: Cole Haase 6 Holes
2016 JUNIOR CLUB
CHAMPIONSHIP
FINAL RESULTS
Pelican Point Junior
Club Champion: Cole Haase
6 Holes (8 years old to 11)
Links Course
1st Place Cole Haase
2nd Place Drew Prieto
33
33
(lost in playoff)
Win you win the cup
and someone fills it
with beer one must at
least drink it all!
3 Holes (7 years old & under)
Links Course
1st Place
Andrew Euhus
20
The Pelican Point Ladies Golf Association Honors the Olympics. The members honored the American athletes
The Pelican Point Ladies Golf Association Honors the Olympics.
The members honored the American athletes with a fun Scramble with a complete
Red, White & Blue dress code requirement.
These ladies are rooting for medals for the golf teams in Rio.

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Cooking Gourmet at Home

with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS

Cooking Gourmet at Home with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS Cajun Buffalo Pork Skewers Executive Chef Ben

Cajun Buffalo Pork Skewers

Executive Chef Ben Jarreau
Executive Chef
Ben Jarreau

Prep Time:

10 Minutes

Cook Time:

20 Minutes

Yield:

4 Skewers

Ingredients:

• 2 Lbs Pork Tenderloin

(Cut into 2 inch Cubes)

• Salt & Pepper to taste

• ½ Cup peanut oil

• Buffalo Sauce

• 1 Cups Lousiana Hot Sauce

• 1 Cups Melted Butter

• ½ Cup Ketchup

• 1 tsp Granulated Garlic

• 1 Tbsp Crab Boil

Generously season the cubed pork with salt and pepper. In a cast iron skillet or Dutch oven add your oil and preheat to 350 degrees. Add your pork tenderloin to the skillet until achieving desired color and temperature. (approx. 7-12 minutes) Remove the pork from the skillet and allow it to rest

for at least 5 minutes. This will allow the juices to redistribute evenly in your meat. While the tenderloin is resting combine your Buffalo Sauce ingredients in a mixing bowl and whisk

vigorously until smooth.

buffalo sauce and serve. You can also pan fry, grill, or deep fry the pork depending yon your preference.

Finally, toss your pork with the

Great for Tailgating

GO TIGERS!!!!!!

deep fry the pork depending yon your preference. Finally, toss your pork with the Great for

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Join Us to Support Assisted Living Week September 8 NaNaSha 6:30 pm September 11 The
Join Us to Support
Assisted Living Week
September 8
NaNaSha 6:30 pm
September 11
The Mick's - Music 6:30 pm
September 14
Pajama Day
Health Fair 9:00 - 11:00 am
Grandparents Tea 2:00 pm
September 12
Crazy Hat Day
CafeAzalea 2:00 pm
Winner of Crazy Hat contest
Deware Walker -piano
5:30 pm
September 15
Twin Day
R & R Band 2:00 pm
September 13
Western Day
Kenny Cornett 2:00 pm
Pat Douglas-piano 5:30 pm
September 16
Game Day
T - Roy 10:15 am
River Rats 2:00 pm
Family Night Bingo 6:30 pm
September 17
Crazy Sock Day