This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
Friday 3rd October 1997
Blair: Modernise and Win
n his first Party vague, suggesting Matt Pannell Conference that “anyone could Editor speech as Prime sign up to this.” Minister, Tony Blair Simon Heffer of the set out his aim on Tuesday not just Daily Mail called it “a very Tory to be better than the last govern- speech in many ways.” But whilst ment, but to be “one of the great insisting on “zero tolerance” on radical reforming governments of crime, and the importance of getting British history.” He outlined new single mothers into work, Mr Blair plans for improvements in health reserved some sharp criticism for and education, and more sweeping the ‘establishment’. “Not one black constitutional reforms. High Court Judge; not one black “Enlightened patriotism” featured Chief Constable or Permanent strongly - a belief in Britain and the Secretary. Not one black army offi“British character”, along with the cer above the rank of Colonel. Not usual need for restraint in spending, one Asian either. Not a record of concern over poverty and crime, pride for the British establishment.” and a request for party discipline to ensure a second consecutive election victory, something never previously achieved by a Labour government.
Tuition fees to stay
In true New Labour style, he was given a three-minute standing ovation before he had even begun, and delivered the hour-long speech in media-friendly terms, complete with a few of the same soundbites employed before the election. The speech was met with near-hysterical praise from Mr Blair’s cabinet colleagues, but some scepticism from those on the left of the party, and some journalists, who criticised its lack of substance. Anne McElvoy of the Daily Telegraph, called it
Mr Blair used the speech as an opportunity to try and end the debate on University Tuition fees which had been rumbling during the early stages of the conference. It now looks increasingly unlikely that the fees proposal will be dropped in principle, in spite of continuing resistance from students. Labour also intends to bring an extra half-amillion students into universities by 2002.
Photo: Brian Harris (The Independent)
The Soundbites “”
- The chains of mediocrity have been broken - It is compassion with a hard edge - A decent society is not based on rights, it is based on duty - I want the 21st century to be the century of the radicals - Our government can be the beacon for enlightened patriotism - Give your all. Make this the giving age - So much to do. So much to change. So hard to do it. But the vision is as old as humanity - By the strength of our common endeavour, we achieve more together than we can alone
Constitution - devolution vote will be followed up, Election funding rules to be tightened, scope of Nolan Committee to be extended. Elected mayor for London following referendum Parliament - House of Lords to be reformed. Lords told “don’t try to wreck this legislation. We have the votes of the people. You’ve got the votes of nobody.” Europe - Social Chapter signed, Britain to resist the “bureaucrats’ Europe” and “lead in Europe” again Health -Ten ‘Health Action Zones’ to be set up by April for “experiments with the way in which healthcare is delivered.” Extra funding for NHS Northern Ireland - Encouragement to all sides for a continuation in talks, though “Every step is fragile” Home affairs - Dumblane debt “honoured” in handgun ban, “family unit” stressed, Zero tolerance on crime Foreign affairs - Pressure to continue for world landmine ban Education - nursery vouchers to go, school repairs budget extended, reform of teacher training, failing schools to be taken over
“Universities in Britain had their funding cut by 40% under the Tories. The science and research base - once the envy of the world - under threat. The Tories put a cap on student numbers. Only 30% of youngsters in Britain admitted to go to university....The hard choice: stay as we are and decline. Or modernise and win. Under our proposals, no parent will have to pay more. Low income families will be entirely exempt from tuition fees. All students will repay only as they can afford to. And if we reform, I am going to pledge to you, that by the end of this parliament, we will put resources saved through reform into frontline provision in universities and further education; and the first 165million pounds is already in next years budgets. We will lift the cap on student numbers and set a target for an extra 500,000 people into higher and further education by 2002.”
n n n News 1 Features 3 Letters 4 n n Cinema and Arts 8 Union News 9
n Music 6 Notices & Personals
Entertainments Guide 7 . n 10 Sports 11 .
Friday 3rd October 1997 n
A 65 Million Year Old Bargain?
Sotheby’s in New York will be auctioning Sue the Tyrannosaurus Rex on 4 October. The bones have been in storage for the last five years whilst the owner of Sue was contested. The fossils are as-yet-unstudied but Sotheby’s hopes to keep the fossils in the public realm. The auctioneers are promising three years interest free credit to pay off what is expected to be a very high price. (Science)
Constant Fun At Planck Exhibition
October 4 marks the 50th anniversary of the German Physicist Max Planck. Planck is best known for initiating the study of quantum mechanics for which he received the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1918. To commemorate his anniversary the German Physical Society is holding an exhibition in Berlin about his life and work. Exhibits range from Planck’s rucksack and ice pick to a film commissioned by Joseph Goebbels featuring Planck discussing his life. (Nature)
New Chief Executive At The Wellcome Trust
Prominent cancer researcher Mike Dexter has been chosen to lead the Wellcome Trust into the next century. This is despite the fact that in his will, Sir Henry Wellcome specified that no money was to be used for cancer research as such. The trust has capital assets estimated to be worth more than £10 billion. The trust currently has a growing involvement in issues concerned with public understanding of science. (Nature)
Medical Diagnosis Goes PC
A computer program has been developed that can read ECGs (electrocardiograms) more accurately than specialist doctors. The computer was 10.5% more accurate than its human counterpart. The result is welcomed given that an estimated 25% of ECGs are misinterpreted. Computers however are not yet ready to take over the diagnosis of heart disease as a major part of the diagnosis procedure involves talking with the patient about their symptoms and medical history - a skill not yet mastered by a computer. (BMJ)
Government Rejects 10% Pay Rise For Doctors
The doctors and dentists review body has been told by the government that there will be no extra funding for an increase in doctors pay. Current pay levels are considered sufficient to recruit, retain and motivate doctors. Early retirement amongst consultants is not believed to have caused concern. The government is also satisfied with the number of doctors entering general practice despite a drop in GP registrars for the fifth successive year. (BMJ) Science news from Antonia Bayliss & Rob Dorey
Music student Andy Blair, of the Surrey student band Housewife.
Photo: Stuart Parker
ack your bags Teletubbies, the Wombles are back! And this time they mean business.
Henry S. Katt
Name and Address Supplied
After many heart wrenching years away from our screens, those loveable, environmentally clued up, bundles of fur are re-emerging from their lair to tidy up Wimbledon Common and push the likes of the Teletubbies off screen. To aid the old favourites of Great Uncle Bulgaria, Orinoco and Tobermory in their quest for tidiness some new characters are being introduced. New to the screens will be full of spice, Alderney, Stepney the cockney Womble and straight from Brazil we have the intellectual Obidos. Not only is Great Uncle
Bulgaria getting help from all these new young Wombles, he’ll also be gaining the use of the Wom-fax and Womcopter. Personally I’ll going to be watching out for all the other anti-grime gadgets, such as the Wom-ternet with Wommail. Naturally all the Wombles should be issued with Wom-bile phones to they can respond instantly to any emergency. So next time you’re up Wimbledon way lookout for the new additions and watch out for Alderney, ‘cos she’s a mean one on her skate-board.
Friday 3rd October 1997
Dead Man Walking (First Days)
Silly Note on Silly Nite
was so happy to Mark be here, so overjoyed at finally being here at the University of Surrey, that I never saw it sneaking up on me like a tidal wave. How was I to know as I waved goodbye to my parents that I was already in the company of Davy Jones? Like everyone else I went through the motions of unpacking, sorting out my room, the attending the warden’s reception and taking a tour of the campus. I had done everything a first day student is meant to do. I slept feeling good about this new era of my life. Only today, Monday, I realised that all I was doing was going through the motions. Who had I met? Who had I made friends with? I had not started anything resembling the start of a social life, one that give the blank areas of the time table meaning. I had become a robot, following only my programming. In fact I was worse, at least before I had a life. My mind rebelled against this reve-
lation, surely this was meant to be the best time of my life, I shouldn’t suffer uncertainty like this! I finished the day on autopilot, my mind elsewhere than on taking down notes, it was grappling with a concept nightmare for all shy people: - Making New Friends The most piss my pants terrifying task I have ever come across. There are many people who find this difficult and I am one of them, I’d rather walk on a tightrope spanning the Grand Canyon, you only need to concentrate on one thing: not falling. Making friends is much more rewarding, I know which I’d rather choose between a good friend and a safe tightrope. Tomorrow I will make the effort to bury my fear and talk to new people, I recommend others like me who find new faces intimidating to do the same. Relax, tide the wave, don’t drown in it.
o, it was brought to our attention that in Silly Night there were underhand dodgy cucumber sales going on. Obviously as your attorney at law I would advice against this action, Yet, if one wishes to participate in foresaid Silly Night, it would be advisable, as I have been guided by my underground siblings, that one should - if at all possible, to illicitly take advice from any silly rep. As to wot one should have in try armoury for Wednesday night, I have been told that toffing and happiness is guaranteed. If you have
Name and Address Supplied
any problems please ‘phone this number 0800 212122. All calls will be handled with discretion. Signed The Boring Attorney at Law PS The fool wishes an audience. Last Wednesday was incorgragonomy silly - we (the Pranksters) hope that all was if virtue and fun -if nottuff. So the tart was full of ........ The milk maid got creamed (3 hail Mary’s and a battery powered device soon stopped that) and I hope
that everyone’s veg were rhunned to their wynn. Wicked Wizard Much chocolate was licked and then the carrot split. Death departed from whence he came. But the decay rotted not. Oh yes and the dodgy dealer has jumped bail. Wednesday Night + Silly Night Watch out for the posters, telling you what you need to bring to get your double and mixer for £1. We’ve had carrots, phallic green tubular fruit, spacey items........
Friday 3rd Oct 8-2am
£6 Tickets on sale from reception
THE FRIDAY NIGHT OUT
ROAR - NUS and Guests Allowed
The Bootleg Beatles
Friday 3rd October 1997 n
Mature Students Lament Dear Editor
Well, first week over as an undergrad, how did it go? Let’s see, I was only mistaken for a lecturer twice. I wonder if they will submit their projects on time!!! Students Union, complete reverence. Not sure whether to pester the poor man with all those flyers, had to ask instead: still on my own back, when I spoke at length of the price of vegetables in 1979 (including cucumber). Campusport, popped in, said “Alright to look around?” Mouths open was this an inspection perhaps? Surely they could see the well defined body of a “Gym-alcoholic” beneath the clothes. Anyway, why have a six pack, when you can have one big pack? Anyway nice clothes, but can you get a drill top with the words “Surrey University, original T Rex Ron” printed thereon. Mature Students Association, where are you? Perhaps we should be satisfied that we have so successfully integrated, that we have no need for an association, and one at this very moment burning our grilled bacon, whilst laying comatose on our beds. If that is the case, cool!! As for me, I’ve always poked my pecs forward and will strive to enjoy the forthcoming weeks; secure in the knowledge that my smile was indeed captured on my student card. To all first year mature students, in the words of my pal Marc “Get it on”. Chin, chin, whinge, whinge,
Victor Meldrew’s Elder Brother
Saudi Justice v. British papers
he two British women, Deborah Parry and Lucille McLauchlan, currently held on murder convictions in Saudi Arabia, have had a sympathetic press here in the UK. Hardly surprising given the circumstances convicted on shaky evidence, and then sentenced to an unpleasant and very public death. They have managed to avoid this, it seems, through arranging for the payment of ‘blood money’ to the family of the murdered Australian, Yvonne Gilford. Instead, it seems likely that their sentence shall be reduced to several years imprisonment and regular public floggings. The punishment may be unwarranted, unfair, inhuman, even - but the really shocking part has been the reaction of the British papers to the news. Suddenly, the two women ceased to be women, and instead became ‘nurses’. How could a nurse be expected to suffer this punishment? Large and unflattering pictures Saudi king Fahd appeared on front pages. The Daily Mail, never noted for its consistency at the best of times, suddenly abandoned its
Matt Pannell Editor
demands for the return of corporal punishment (the words ‘bring back the birch’ appear with monotonous regularity in the leader column) and swapped them with ‘Can Blair let this happen?’ on the front page. Even the good old Independent talked of ‘Islamic justice versus Western values’. Western? Since when has the USA, host to regular, and rather barbaric, gassings and electrocutions, been located in the East? The outcry seemed to ignore the fact that such punishment is a well known part of the Saudi law: 107 people have already been beheaded in this year alone, and no newspaper has even raised an eyebrow. It is an unpleasant fact that these visiting Britons - well aware of the law and traditions of the country - have suddenly become worthy of so much sudden concern and indignation. While human rights campaigners will be pleased that the issue has received so much sudden attention, they must also despair at the need for a westerner and a British one at that - to become involved before anybody shows the slightest interest.
Can Blair do no wrong?
(Name and address supplied)
t the end of April, when John Major talked of the ‘very real’ possibility of an election victory, even the wise old political correspondents failed to conceal their sniggering. And it was funny. Now, as Tony Blair announces that he ‘wants’ to ensure the re-election of his government, it comes across rather differently. A recent poll put his popularity at 93%. While such strength can only boost enthusiasm still further, there is still something quite uneasy about a leader being able to predict, with quite well-founded confidence, an election victory in four years time. Is it already taken for granted that eight years along the road, we’ll still be watching the same man speaking? The Labour Party machine, today, looks almost unstoppable. Whether the country will want to elect a new government at the next election is not so much the issue. But will we be able to?
Over the last couple of weeks, I have received a large number of complaints from the general public concerning noise from students in the town and surrounding areas. Over recent years, a great effort has been made by students, as well as their representatives at the Student Union and University, to build up a good relationship with local residents. Members of the public have come to expect - as is their right - that students behave in an orderly fashion, and do not wake them up late at night. Many of these local resi-
dents have to be up early for work, and some of them have young children, too. Not only is the reputation of the University and its students at stake here, but the problem has an even more serious side for the individuals concerned. Aggrieved locals are perfectly entitled to call the police, who will arrest anyone acting in a disorderly fashion. We all have a duty to continue working for better relations with the local community - please do your bit.
Tony Watling Cheif Security Officer
Friday 3rd October 1997
GLITTERBOX - You Can’t Live On Mars (Atlantic) Glitterbox have moved on since Norwich 1991. Having shaken off cobwebs lurking on their lyrics, they seemed to have culminated a typical Brit-pop sound; but still intermittently sound American. Much their music is exciting. Optimistically, these small cats will one day become fat.....watch their space. 6/10 I.U LIBIDO - Supersonic Daydream (Fire) Norwegian rock bands are always a bit worrying but this is actually O.K., reminiscent of American cheese like Weezer and Dig. Nothing special but worth a spin if you get the chance. 6/10 A.M. ETHER - If You Really Want To Know (Parlophone) Debut single for Parlophone following minor success with ‘He Say Yeah’ which was produced by John Leckie on the Regal label. A pretty poor follow up which will only really stand out because of the singer’s incredibly highpitched vocals. 5/10 J.B.
Friday 3rd October 1997 n
LEVELLERS - Celebrate (China) More mellow indie from the band that invented mellow indie. The song, which is about falling in love and moving in together (ahhhh...) doesn’t really matter, listen to the guitars, the violins and then start dancing. Top tunes, accompanied by some stonking b-sides. 9/10 F.F. SHERYL CROW - Home (A+M) Heart-moving, powerful song. Well produced and well sung. What can I say? Absolutely stunning, both the cover of the CD and the song itself. One of the hottest artists of 97 does it again. I’m lost for words. 9/10 I.U. IDHA - Sweet September Rain (Creation) The second single from her recent album ‘Troublemaker’, Swedish chanteuse Idha, supplies us with a wonderfully calming waltz song, which is both melodic and poetic, worth trying out. 7/10 N.W. MANSUN - Closed For Business (Parlophone) Stunning, the best yet from Mansun. Beautiful and intriguing. A step up from the album backed with three further great songs including ‘Everyone Must Win’ their collaboration with Howard Devoto. 9/10 R.W. PEACH - Made In Vain (Mute) Hmmmm.. A bit early for the Eurovision song contest, hot on the heels of Gina G come Peach, a poppy tune that everyone will be dancing to at the next Friday night out. 7/10 F.F. STRANGELOVE - Freak (Food) Follow up to Top 40 hit ‘Greatest Show On Earth.’ This sounds best when played LOUD. Big drums and thrashing guitars are guaranteed to annoy hard working neighbours. 7/10 J.B. STELLA - US EP (Beggars Banquet) Driving guitar sounds with vocals reminiscent of Jeff Buckley. Powerful, intense and rather good. 7/10 R.W. LUKE SLATER - Freek Funk (Mute Records) Funky, this single contains three mixes of ‘Freek Funk’ alongside ‘Stomp’ and ‘The Untitled’. ‘Freek Funk’ is a melange of electronic sounds with a funky bass line, contrasting with the comparative quietude in ‘The Untitled’, ‘Stomp’ leads us there nicely, changing the tempo... 7/10 M.B. SILVER SUN - Lava (Polydor) A reissue of Silver Sun’s finest moment. Fuzzy guitars and power-pop vocals. Very good, but marked down for being a cynical reissue. 6/10 R.W.
BENTLEY RHYTHM ACE Bentley Rhythm Ace (Polydor) A great debut album from the Bentleys. Through having a laugh themselves, they have managed to transport this feeling onto CD. Maybe it’s the comic book vocals at the beginning of ‘Let There Be Flutes’ or the weird song titles such as ‘Ragtopskodacarchase’ that make you just relax and enjoy the music. Such a strange variety of samples can be heard throughout the album; the gunge tank siren at the end of ‘Midlander’ or the steam train on ‘Mind That Gap.’ But the thing that strikes you most about this album is that all the tracks sound so different, whilst at the same time blending together so well. The Mighty Mouse of cartoon dance. 8/10 J.B.
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
SUBCIRCUS - Carousel (Echo) A re-release for those that didn’t get it the first time round. Subcircus have been doing the live circuit for years now and are beginning to show the success they deserve. They sound like 3 Colours Red, which is no bad thing. The single ‘86’d’ (which was also re-released) shows they have a softer more mellow side, but even this sounds good. Subcircus are a band that can do no wrong, this album proves it. 8/10 F.F.
THE VERVE - Urban Hymns (Hut) Personally, I just didn’t get the first two Verve albums, something was missing. However, as you are aware, the two singles released this summer, ‘Bitter Sweet Symphony’ and ‘The Drugs Don’t Work’ promised great things for this album, and The Verve have certainly delivered. Unlike some bands The Verve have not settled for lowest common denominator tastes but have produced an well crafted and intelligent album full of great songs that should see them become megastars worldwide. The Verve show they are ready to take on the world as in the albums final song, ‘Come On’ screams “Fuck You, Come On” with a degree of menace as guitars wail gloriously behind him. The album has a pretty dark tone overall, and should possibly be avoided by manic depressives, but it is a magnificent record and the one which will be battling it out with ‘OK Computer’ in the “Best Album of ‘97” polls. 9/10 R.W. CE CE PENISTON – Finally (A&M) Ce Ce Peniston is a woman who is not afraid to explore fully her mind and musical spectrum. The finally album is a mixture of classic Chicago house, soulful ballads of which ‘You win, I win, We lose’ is particularly good, and some Hip-hop beat flavoured R & B Tracks. The Album begins well with her two biggest hits, ‘We Got a Love Thang’ and ‘Finally’. ‘Lifeline’ blends the mixture of all three styles with a distinctive 80’s vibe. The Album as a whole was more interesting than my first impressions suspected. This is a talented soulful woman who crosses many different musical boundaries at will.. I’ve been pleasantly surprised! ‘Finally’ , I prefer the original but no doubt the remix will circulate the club scene for a little while. 6 /10 S.L FINLAY QUAYE - Maverick A Strike (Epic) It’s pretty hard to live up to both the success and the undeniable greatness of two singles like ‘Sunday Shining’ and ‘Even After All’ and this record freely ranges from the sublime to the entirely dull. There is the rich, orchestral, almost gospel like textures of ‘It’s Great When We’re Together’, the simplistic beauty of ‘You’re Love Gets Sweeter’ and the mellow tabla groove of musical track ‘Red Rolled And Seen’. There is also the ugly and dirty hip-hop of ‘Supreme I Preme’ and the sheer formulaic reggae boredom of tracks such as ‘Falling’, ‘The Way Of The Explosive’ and title track ‘Maverick A Strike’. And so a partly disappointing record with moments of real quality, perhaps suggesting a longer career than anticipated for Finlay Quaye. 6/10 A.M. DUBSTAR - Goodbye (Food) More teeny pop from the group that brought one of the most underrated album of 1995. The first thing that hits you if the number of tracks, 15, however in this industry, quantity does not necessarily mean quality. In this case the tunes are pretty good with only a couple being obvious fillers, such as ‘Pollstar’ which might as well have been never recorded. The single ‘No More Talk’ is easily the best song on the album, the only one that nearly touches upon the greatness of their last album, ‘Disgraceful’. Overall leave it on the shelf and get ‘Disgraceful’ instead, if you already have ‘disgraceful’ go listen to it again, it is much better. 6/10 F.F.
V/A - D-ROM (Recognition) Get your PCs up and running guys, this tells you about all the releases providing a short sample of the tune to listen to in case artists and sounds are mixed in your mind. Across the spectrum, this is house, garage, techno and drum’n’bass, but also allows you to mix your own with Mixman, a computer synthesized pair of decks. Good idea, especially for people on the look out for the tune “that goes dum, daa, de da...” Find out, on D-Rom.. 8/10 MB. STRANGELOVE - Strangelove (Food) Even though Strangelove are a great live band, as shown by their friend-winning Reading festival appearance, they are also able to produce some good songs on record, here on their eponymous third album. From the dry rock stomp on their single ‘Freak’ to the self-depreciating humour displayed in the ultra catchy ‘Another Night In’, they are able to combine melodrama with pop in a way which only they know how. ‘The Greatest Show On Earth’ is another good example, it is easily one of the best singles released this year and shows they have the potential to write good songs. Despite it’s many good points I don’t think this is the breakthrough album they need though to be promoted from indie pop-goths to serious contenders, it is let down by inconsistencies such as the frankly dull ‘Little Queenie’ and the irritating ‘Someday Soon’. They have the potential to be extraordinary as shown by their singles, but they just can’t seem to continue this over an album. 7/10 N.W. FELINE - Save Your Face (Chrysalis) A high energy “in your face” effort from South London group Feline. The guitars never stop and it gets hard to make out the vocals at times, a great album to mosh to but for others, avoid. 7/10 F.F.
THE HYBIRDS - Stranded (Heavenly) Run-of-the-mill indie guitar sounds in the O***s mold. Nothing original and definitely nothing special. Just average. 5/10 R.W. UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH - Stone EP (Virgin) Erm... well it isn’t Britpop, it’s darker than that. It defies explanation, but can only be described as emotional, and, in places, quite surreal... 5/10 M.B. RESERVOIR - “40” (Zero Hour) This sounds like Sonic Youth and Weezer on the same record, but sadly it’s a pretty weak three chord trudge through not very much. Not bad, but definitely not good. 5/10 A.M. BENNET - I Like Rock (Roadrunner) This single sees Bennet pissing around even more than usual, and for this the song suffers as a vehicle for the much better B-sides; brilliant covers of ‘Touch Too Much’ by AC/DC, ‘Rock And Roll All Nite’ by Kiss and ‘Come On, Come On’ by Cheap Trick. It’s a pity they couldn’t have supported a better track. 5/10 J.B. FOIL - Don’t Come Around (13th Hour) Sound like the Clash,, aren’t anywhere near as good. 4/10 F.F.
SUPERGRASS - Late In The Day (Parlophone) A swoony and gorgeous song from the band who refuse to stop getting better. Trademark piano and acoustic guitar parts but a really bitter-sweet, original song which is actually very good indeed. 9/10 A.M.
POOKA - Spinning (Trade 2) This album was not initially what I’d expected, the gorgeous vocals of the two female singers created an expectation in my senses. I had expected another indiepop creation. This album is darkly electrified, and soothes the senses whilst playing on the mind. Sharon Lewis and Natasha Jones have captivated their own fun style that reminds the listener of Seal, amongst others. There are obvious messages in the songs, for example ‘Mean Girl’ seems to tell the story of a woman reveling in her own selfishness, and ‘Lubrication’ comes across as a sort of “pick-me-up”. The album conjures up images of the back room at a party, the sorts of things that go on behind the scenes in the hallway, and halfway up the stairs. This mood is reflected in the THE CRYSTAL METHOD - Vegas (Sony S3) lament that is ‘Rubber Arms’, which This was what I’ve come to expect from the Crystal Method, a trip-hop journey describes the depressed, sexually frustrat- intermingled with space-age trance samples, and contrasting vocals. ‘Busy Child’ ed girl who is always crying outside the features on this album, a tune which I have grown to like quite considerably, with loo, whilst her mate has pulled and in a its repetitive vocals and tripped out bassline. ‘Comin’ Back’ is certainly a Sunday bedroom with some guy... Altogether morning tune, that really does capture the feel bad factor, but slowly lifts the lissomething unexplained creeps into the tener from the depths of pain and suffering to an almost euphoric high. The mind and takes over. 6/10 MB. album continues in this vein to ‘She’s My Pusher’ which cuts into the haze with a great deal of extra sounds to deal with. It ends with ‘Bad Stone’, which seems This weeks music brought to you by: to me to be an ending requiring something extra. It warps and winds, dragging Frank Fraulo, James Bloomfield, you along, and leaves you gasping for air, and wanting more. I also happen to Samuel S Lawal, Matthew Beal, think that the cover is particularly funky, but can’t wait for another dose of this Nick Walsh, Al Mooney, refreshing alternative to the thumping bass usually associated with trance. I liked Ikaraam Ullah, Rob Winder. it, bring on another album guys, I’m drooling here... 9/10 MB.
Friday 3rd October 1997
Friday to Saturday
Volcano (12) 13:55, 16:35, 19:15, 20:05 Career Girls (15) 13:35, 15:50, 18:05, 20:20, 22:40 The Full Monty (15) 13:00, 15:30, 07:50, 20:15, 22:35 Contact (PG) 12:15, 15:35, 18:50, 22:10 My Best Friends Wedding (12) 14:00, 16:35, 19:10, 21:45 Face (18) 15:00, 17:30, 20:05, 22:35 Spawn (12)13:10, 15:35, 18:00, 20:25, 22:50 Air Force One (15) 13:15, 16:05, 19:00, 21:55 Mrs Brown (PG) 14:15, 19:15 Austin Powers (15) 16:45, 21:45 Bean (PG) 12:45 Jungle 2 Jungle (PG) 11:30 (Saturday only) Batman & Robin (PG) 11:20 (Saturday only) Lady and the Tramp (U) 11:25 (Saturday only) The Fifth Element (PG) 11:10 (Saturday only)
21:00 Red Dwarf 21:30 Shooting Stars 18:00/23:35 TFI Friday 21:00 Friends 22:00 Frasier 20:10 Casualty
23:55 Psycho 19:15 Blind Date 22:00 Pale Rider 21:30 Drop the Dead Donkey 22:00 ER 20:00 Full Circle with Michael Palin 21:55 French and Saunders 21:00 London’s Burning 22:00 FILM: City Slickers II; the Legend of Curly’s Gold
Sunday to Thursday
Volcano (12) 12:35, 15:10, 17:55, 20:30 Career Girls (15) 13:30, 15:45, 18:00, 20:10 The Full Monty (15) 13:45, 16:10, 18:35, 21:00 Contact (PG) 13:35, 16:35, 20:00 My Best Friends Wedding (12) 12:40, 15:20, 18:00, 20:40 Face (18) 15:30, 18:05, 20:40 Spawn (12) 13:15, 15:55, 18:20, 20:50 Air Force One (15) 14:15, 17:15, 20:20 Mrs Brown (PG) 13:05, 18:05 (Not Wednesday) Austin Powers (15) 15:30, 20:30 (Not Wednesday) Romeo and Juliet (15) 12:15, 14:55, 17:35, 20:15 (Wednesday 8th October only) Private Parts (18) 13:35, 15:45, 18:15, 20:45 (Monday 6th October only)
22:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 22:45 Nash Bridges 22:00 NYPD Blue 21:00 The Sweeney
Thursday Wednesday Tuesday 9th 8th 7th
20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 Have I Got Old News for You 23:15 Seinfeld 20:00 The Bill 20:30 Paul Merton in Galton and Simpson’s...the Suit 21:30 The X Files 20:00 University Challenge 20:00 The National Television Awards 22:00 Prime Suspect
22:20 Clive Anderson All Talk 20:30 Top Gear 21:00 3rd Rock from the Sun 21:00 FILM: Switch 22:55 The Jack Docherty Show
Sunday 5 pm & 8pm Monday 8pm Lecture Theatre G
Wednesday 8pm LT G
Cinema and Arts
Friday 3rd October 1997 n
Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, James Woods, John Hurt
et me pose two questions: is incredible cinematograthere really a God and are we Bruce Chapman phy. The intro sequence is alone in the universe? If you very probably the best of watch Robert Zemeckis’ (Forrest Gump, Back the year, with a camera pulling back from To The Future), new film ‘Contact’ these may earth through the known and unknown be questions you ask yourself as you come out universe. of the cinema.
Make it So !!
o we did and this weekend we present Star Trek : First Contact for your viewing pleasure. So come along and join Captain Jean-luc Picard and the rest of the Next Generation crew as they fight to save the earth form the evil Borg, the crew of the Enterprise travel across the Galaxy and through time to save the earth form the Borg and ensure that their future isn’t changed forever. If you would like to be beamed aboard for a couple of hours, then go to the post room in the Union, fill out a ticket at the back of the room and place it into the box provided. Then arrive at LTG in good time to pay two pounds for you ticket and take your seat. The film will be showing on Sunday at 5p.m. and 8p.m. and again on Monday at 8p.m. However if you are someone who likes to save money or find that bargain then I recommend the OFU Pic’n’Mix ticket for the unbelievable value of Five pounds for Four Films.
On Wednesday of this week, the arts cinema will be showing Brassed Off, another of the extremely good British films which have been made in the last few years, so please do come and watch. Tickets will be available on the door or from the Art’s Office for the low price of two pounds.
Ever since the death of her father, Ellie (Foster) has had been fascinated by the stars. This has lead to a very promising, if unlucrative career looking to the heavens for signs of extra terrestrial life forms. This has been made all the more difficult by non-believing bosses, leading to her funding coming from eccentric millionaire John Hatten (Hurt) rather than the almighty US Government. However, everything changes the day that the celestial search comes up trumps and the aliens get in touch. What is originally thought to be a very simple code turns out to be instructions to build a space ship and all of a sudden, not only the US, but the rest of the world wants to know if anybody’s out there. This is what the average cinema goer has been looking for all summer: a script with a bit of depth and characters you can believe in, who haven’t got the word ‘wooden’ tattooed to their foreheads. Foster gives her usual faultless performance and Zemeckis’ direction is up there with it. He follows up Forrest Gump in very similar style, producing a clever film, packed with seamless digital effects and
However, what really makes the film are the sub plots and the questions which they provoke. Along with the main plot, there is a small (if pointless) love interest, with McConaughey, who is spiritual advisor to the President. What starts off as a matter of “Do you believe in aliens?”, turns into a question of “Do you believe in God?” We also get to see the effects of technology on the modern world, this being one of the many films jumping on the Internet bandwagon. Fantastic film? Yes...but what lets it down is its length. Clocking in at over 2½ hours, my whole body was aching when I left the cinema. However, it isn’t really possible to identify any significant areas which could have been cut from the film. The God question could be seen as being a bit “in your face”, although it doesn’t really interfere with the film’s main plot. Thoroughly good, thought provoking entertainment, if a bit long, but something that could only be beaten by a Biblical meeting with the two girls from last weeks Ladies Football article! More of the same please!! 7/10, but bring a cushion!
Unplugged presents Keith Donnelly
th over two hours of quality live music from both bands and students, as well as a great audience, the week 3 unplugged in the main union was a definite success. Thanks to all involved and anyone who came down. Next week we are back in our usual venue of the lower bar with Keith Donnelly returning, after acting as compare for us last week, with his own show that promises to be an excellent night. If you’ve not heard of him then he is essentially music’s answer to the alternative comedian, the alternative musician! One of those unique acts who doesn’t quite fit into anyone genre, so come down and find out what he is all about. Writing all his own material, whether funny or not, and has even been known to adapt well known songs for his own devices. Once taking some of these to record an album in the
Hospitailty Catering Services
as BreakfRes t at ry
Place to Start Your Day The
Helyn Rose Bar featuring such classic tracks as the Bonking Song through to Supercunniflagilingussexyfalicrotious! Often bringing some of his more bizarre material to Unplugged were he has been very popular with audience’s in the past. Having worked with Phil Cool he is currently writing material for Jasper Carrot but you can see him on this week at unplugged. We will also have the usual open mike session, so come and hear some of Surrey uni’s home grown talent. If you or a group of you fancy a go yourself (even if its just one song) then just turn up about 7 pm and we’ll put you on, or leave a message and contact number in the unplugged pigion hole in the union to arrange something for another week. All this in the Lower Bar Tuesday night, kicking off about 7.30 - 8.00 pm, for only £1.
Educational Representation & Welfare Meetings
Tuesdays, 1pm-2pm, Grant Mitchell Room
If you are a course rep, or have something Welfare related to shout about then why not come along? On the 14th October we have the Accommodation Manager coming along to discuss the launderette provisions on campus - come and join in the grilling! For more details contact Sam Birmingham, Student Affairs Officer
Add an extra item for only 30p
Friday 3rd October 1997
Dog - A Short Story
ulia looked askance at the boy next to her. Her gaze travelled the crowded room and to the floor below her, where it hovered gently, like a bird bewildered by its first tremulous flight. She didn't recognise anybody, each face a blank fragment floating silently upon a bigger, uglier canvas. I don't think that we had fallen out. Not really’ The speaker stopped. Julia stared intently at the feet. A pair of black, flat shoes shuffled impatiently, first one then the other; lift, pause, rock to the inside of the sole-two little black boats navigating unsure waters. A pattern emmerged. Engrossed in th erratic choreography, the voice continued, the words cutting across the sludgy silence that encircled them all. I mean, it was all very amicable,
Elspeth, I'm sure. I did apologise, although it wasn't really my fault at all, and I told him so’, ‘ but I feel my apology was, well, tactful... ‘Of course dear’. Another voice slipped through the conversational net. But tact is everything, isnt't it...in...such cases, don't you think?'. Julia saw the waving hands, floundering in their description, as if we can embody an event’so full of emotion by a mere wave of a limb. Julia felt herself frown. She didn't know if the event was noteworthy at all. In fact, she didn't even know what they were discussing with such animation. All she ever saw were the shuffling feet, heard that whining voice, and the other more slippery one. She went to the kitchen, and floating there were more blank faces, greet-
ing her with smiles an gestures. Never a word. She often thought of crying about that, but her disposition failed her-her mood always matching those faces. Lack of stimulation lead her to the garden, wher Jon was sprawled on the lawn. 'Oooh, Juuuuulleeee baaabyyyyyyyy'. He drawled. She withdrew momentarily, but he continued. 'She left me you know. Yesterday. And, do you know, she didn't even wait until Jenny had gone home...' 'Shut up you prat' another voice gasped, joining in. 'Jenny wasn't going home that night was she? And Jenny had not been home for 3 days, had she? Are you thick or just pretending to miss the point here?' 'The point is that we were only having dinner, at the time. Nothing was
going on. But now she has left, my beautiful Angie..’ ‘Stop this crap you fool. You're not bleeding' Pause ' Okay, so she's left you to bleed a bit, but you gave her the knife.....’ 'Pause. The gasping voice contemplated its imagery. ‘I really miss her'. In this pause, Jon threw his hands to his head. For a moment, Julia thought he wanted to rip open his skull, and, wading through the bloody globs, dig out some stuff with his nails, index it, and plant some flowers. But then she thought that would be silly..... The fountain gurgled, its sparkling chuckle glinted by a red setting sun. Looking at the sky, the oranges and reds dribbled towards each other, like coloured ink on wet paper. The
colours smeared the horizon that would soon consume its guest. Julia wondered what would happen if she spat her dinner out each morning. So, deep in not so deep thought, she stretched onto the lawn next to the troubled Jon, and lay her head on her paws. She wondered what they were all talking about. She dreamt. Of travelling-a fleet of empty vessels powered by thouands of tiny hands, frantically pumelling the agitated waves. The gasping voices were quiet as the sun finally fell out of the blazen sky. Jon sits contemplating his own hands, trying to clear away the grime lodged beneath the nails. He is wondering where it has come from’, 'when he is such a clean person.’ Anita Ewing
GCR are 107.4FM
rom a small room somewhere in Battersea Court GCR pulsates across the airwaves. Throughout the year you can find them on 1602 AM but until 17th October GCR can be heard on 107.4 FM. This FM licence gives GCR the ability to reach a wider audience including potential sponsors and new station recruits. “GCR is LOUD across Guildford”. On the subject of new recruits GCR needs enthusiastic budding DJs and behind the scenes bods to work in sales, journalism and public rela-
Becca Pemble Station Manager
tions. Currently there are approximately 30 people involved but they still need more. With a move at Christmas to new studios they need engineers, the current studio has been in use for over 30 years since the formation of the station. The new studios will have much better facilities. Tuning in to GCR you’ll be exposed to the wonders of Indie music dur-
ing the day with specialist music programmes and chat shows from 7pm every evening. The station also broadcasts in the union on Friday and Saturday nights. Currently GCR is offering a candle lit dinner for two at the Mississippi Exchange as a prize on its breakfast show. GCR would like to thank Mississippi Exchange and the Odeon for their support. The opportunities GCR offer to students to work in radio are highly valued by professional media organ-
Phot: Stuart Parker
isations and many of their former students have gone on to work as journalists, engineers and presenters For more information about GCR contact Becca Pemble extension 9311
Notices and Personals
Friday 3rd October 1997 n
n Calling all old nightliners, please get in touch with new contact numbers n Stevie B....Cheers for neglecting us this week. Must be because we are not as attractive as the likes of Claudia, Niaomi, Kate & Linda. n We’re expecting double the attention next week Please! n Ste K,.....Keep smiling sweety as it will all be over in 22 weeks!!!!!Scarey. n Steve S.....Loads of first year potential, lets hope you make the most of it tonight!!!!!! n Congratulations to the chairman of the HCR committee - the Ram Raid was a great success look forward to seeing you as a Dad tonight. n To Benjie the bedhopper....have you had any success with the freshers? n Don’t worry, still plenty of time!!!!! n Duracell battery - stop making so much noise at 1.30 in the morning. n Is a student really expected to buy a TEXT BOOK for 85 POUNDS n Happy Aniversary TIGER ..... from the Mysterious GIRL n To MG from Tiger - Thinking of you always. XXXX n To MG from Tiger I will H&S,S&K,K&H,H&S,S&K&MLT U when I see you love tiger n Frenulum in possible rehearsal shocker! Now we just need a drum program... n So, max forgot to ‘pick up’ Nina then!! ‘oo err missus’ n Long range drumming live(ish) from Essex! This could start a whole new trend. n Someone help me, I’m getting nostalgic for Physics lectures. Love Jo, somewhere in Essex. n A four-pint wonder, a tasty bar of soap, a blocked sink and a lack of sex. n Duracell Bunny - The cupboard is bare. n Is ego inversely proportional to size?? n From the Tilly 4 lasses to Lawrence : We missed you in the Ram ! n How many pints was that again, Rachel ? Was the floor comfy ? n To the girl who loves turquoise, I love you. n FEST.......so have you yet.... with Melissa???? n Kim...I feel a dips, alcohol and gossip evening coming on!! n “This week I have been mostly eating flyers.” n Tickling is not the way to a girl’s heart. n Why do H&C students burn everything?? n The best things come to those who try. n C - you seem to be making a habit of falling over lately! n UNCLE FESTER....please come home....your time is up!!!!! n GAG - Next meeting TBA via email, bring any ‘proposals’ you have with you!! n Antonia...Good night Sunday then?? n So Duracell Bunny is taking over from Liz M then - oh dear!! n I now know why Jeff wanted to burn something down. n Thanks to all those Freshers who moved in with only 2 suitcases n Nick that last sentence was for you !
Hiking Club change of venue TB 12A on Tuesdays at 1pm. Contact Dave on 576981 or Lindsay on 451130. Cyprus Society AGM on the 8th October at 6.00 PM in Lecture Theatre E. LGB Soc AGM on Tuesday 7th October at 8.00 PM in TB12b Rag Blind Date Audition for contestants on Suday 5th October at 3pm Union Dance floor Islamic Society AGM Tuesday October 21st at 7pm in Lecture Theatre A. Tennis Club AGM Tuesday 14th October at 6pm in the Grant Mitchell Room Green Society AGM Tuesday 21st October at 6.30 pm in TB 21 Thai Society AGM Friday 24th October at 6pm in Lecture Theatre A Bare Facts Editorial Meetings 6PM Every Monday in the Office in Union House Motor Club AGM 15th October at 6pm in the Grant Mitchell Room Science Fiction and Anime Society AGM Friday 19th October 1997 at 2.30 pm in Lecture Theatre A Turkish Soc AGM on 14th October at 7pm in TB 23 Chemical Society AGM on 10th October at 1.15 pm in 9AZ19 Chess Club AGM We do Exist!! Meet on Thursday at 7pm Contact Dan (ee41de) or Pete (me41ps) Al Farah Marriage Agency steps on the way to find your dream partner. For more information please contact Farah on 0171 723 1544 or write to Al-Farah Bureau. PO Box 2369, London, W1A 2QH Salsa Fever at Bar Mambo Latino Night Salsa and Merengue & Cha-Cha clases rom 8 to 9 pm Mondays Salsa Mania Salsa classes from 8 to 9 pm Thursdays. Daning till 2 am both nights. Students only £2.00 wiht ID. Phone 0181 224 9434 for more details.
Crossword No. 52
Across 1. Primitive Drum (3-3) 5. Hard limestone (6) 9. Unemotional (6) 10. Coined (6) 11. A festive occasion (4) 12. Recall to mind (8) 14. Fraud (6) 16. Shot at (6) 19. Practise beforehand (8) 21. To bungle (4) 22. Introduced from a foreign land (6) 23. Disregard (6) 24. An elephant, for example (6) 25. Wooden hammer (6)
Down 2. To stare down (7) 3. Land-cultivation (7) 4. Presbyterian minister (9) 6. In being (5) 7. A rich sweet cake (4,3) 8. Tolerated (7) 13. A silver white element (9) 14. Most gloomy (7) 15. US partnerships (7) 17. Much below actual value (7) 18. Compel (7) 20. An aromatic plant (5)
Last Weeks Solution Across: 1. antiquated 7. retinue 8. primp 10. garb 11. estimate 13. top-hat 15. Athens 17. engaging 18. spin 21. snake 22. elector 23. streetcars Down: 1. alter 2. tint 3. queasy 4. appoints 5. emirate 6. brightness 9. pleasantry 12. gangrene 14. pageant 16. invent 19. pates 20. beta
Friday 3rd October 1997
INTERDEPARTMENTAL SPORT 1997/98 WEEKDAY LUNCH TIMES
he new programme is open to all departments, clubs or groups of University members - anyone who is interested in playing sport at “A SOCIAL PACE” - contact their departmental sports representative for the matches starting from 20th October for 6 weeks. The overall points for participation for last year were: AEB 171, Maths & Computing 75, Physics 73,
Chem Eng 70, Civ Eng 54, SSTL 45, SOBS 38, LIS 23, SEMS 22, Robens 16, Elec Eng 15, DOMS 15, Psychology 6, Music 4, SDU 2, Nursing 2, Senate 1, Economics 1 and the most improved department was PHYSICS. How about your department changing the face of the results table?!
Marathon for Macmillan
ampusport staff member Catherine Wright plans to run the New York Marathon next month (November 2nd), raising more than £1,300 for the Macmillan cancer relief fund - so look out for those sponsorship sheets! The fund helps patients of cancer, a condition that 1 in 3 of us will suffer from at some stage of our lives. Each year they help another 200,000 cancer sufferers to cope with the impact cancer has upon their lives. They provide doctors, nurses, one off grants even clinics all, specialised in the diagnosis and treatment of cancer.
SPORTS REPRESENTATIVES MEETING
here is a SPORTS REPRESENTATIVES MEETING ON FRIDAY 3RD OCTOBER 1.05 P.M. AT THE SPORTS CENTRE, Campusport. Reps are
needed from each academic year - if you are interested in helping, or signed up at the Freshers Fair, come along to the meeting.
Sunshine on a sporty day.
o all you bastards who walked past me with many beers, for what seemed like all day and all night at this fantabulous day, I say: Yah Boo Sucks to you - and next time you want an increase in you budget then you better think twice! No seriously, the day was great and a true credit to how Sport can work smoothly with sheer brilliance at the wheel! I’d like to thank all of you who managed to keep me calm throughout the day, to Stage Crew for blaring out GCR so tunefully all day, to those who helped out from God knows what time in the morn ‘til late at night, to whoever managed to get Robbie Alter off the microphone and I’d like to say ha! to USMC for once again only driving me up the wall but not getting me to jump off.
I believe we had a record number of freshers through the gates - and sign ups for a number of clubs, were huge. So congratulations!! Thanks to Dickie’s “tiny” column I have plenty of space to write in but as usual not a lot to say of any interest. However, as I write this I hope I am listening to the sounds of the, what I know to be plenty Scots in the bar happily shouting goal! and to the sounds of those Scousers’ walking alone back to the changing room. At least they might have more success than Ralphy who thanks to his bro now faces a nine point deficit, while Villeneuve not even sweating glided on in. To make matters worse
DRY SKI COURSES
e are running two 4 week dry ski courses beginning on Monday 20th October and Monday 11th November at the
Guildford Ski School Larchfield Avenue, Guildford. Sign up at the Sports Centre reception
FIRST FREE WEEK ENDS.
IRST WEEK FREE finishes on Sunday 5th October. FREE classes and facilities continue if you have a Campusport membership card. However, you need to sign up for courses: canoeing, golf, ski, yoga, dance, tai chi, self defence, squash, badminton and many more, by Monday 6th October.
Ralphy boy was reprimanded by the stewards for running across the track after the crash!! Next week sees the long awaited start of BUSABUSABUSA!! So bon Chance to the lads and lasses who start. The home matches are the first and second Rugby matches - so if you fancy watching God (coz apparently he apparently plays Rugby at Surrey??) or you just want a beer while laughing at the boys come on down to the Varsity Centre at 2.30pm on Wed 8th Oct. Anyway if I get any more yawnsome I’ll be banned from ever writing again. Cheerio - Oh it was pointed out that perhaps I should no longer call myself Tiger Woods and should aim higher - perhaps Constantino Rocca!
Friday 3rd October 1997 n
Previews For Campusdance Performances
osemary Butcher opens the campusdance performance season next week with two works: Landings choreographed in 1976, and a new work entitled Fractures Landscape and Fragmented Narratives. Rosemary Butcher’s work spans twenty years and she remains at the forefront of the independent dance scene in Britain. Rosemary Butcher’s work is, to use dance jargon, pure and
minimal. She has a close affinity to the visual arts, regularly collaborating with painters, sculptors’ filmmakers and musicians. In addition to this glittering introduction Rosemary is also head of Choreography at the Dance department here at Surrey. If, after this brief description, Rosemary Butcher doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, there are dance
artist performing in the campusdance season throughout the year, (hooray, I hear you cry!!) The campusdance programme specialises in small-scale independent dance artist working at the cutting edge of dance in this country. It really doesn’t matter if you have
never seen a dance performance before, or have just sat through the obligatory Christmas Day ballet offering in a drunken haze; I can guarantee there will be something to suit all tastes. This might be an opportune moment to remind you all, particularly those freshers among us, that university life is about broadening your horizons and trying new things.
Performances start at 8pm in the PATS building and normally last about an hour, so after being truly inspired and a committed ‘born again’ dance fan there’s still time to leg it down to Bo’s and try out all those new moves on the dance floor. For tickets call the box office on 01483 259905.
A Grand Day Out !
he sun was shining, the birds were singing in the trees and even link had a happy look on his face as the University of Surrey 1st XV set off to play Raccal Decca. It must be said that many players were out of position but all of Surrey’s ferocious fighters were ready as soon as the referee’s whistle was blown. Surrey were immediatley put under pressure by the oppostion but some good tackling and defending prevented the home side from taking an early lead.
Surrey then began to find another gear and soon the opposition’s try line was the one under pressure, that pressure finally telling when the captain Ben McCauley stormed over in the corner. Surrey’s interchanging forward and back play soon had the opposition literally falling over themselves with amazement ( oh alright, not quite amazement but they were as shocked as we were ! ). It wasn’t long before Surrey had crossed the try line again, this time in the form of James Balfour, who came crashing through
the line with a Herculean effort of determined running. Half time score Surrey 12, Raccal Decca 0. The second half began a little bit scrappily with the opposition literally fighting their way through Surrey’s line of defence. However out of this untidy rugby came a moment of sheer brilliance.
A quick lineout was taken by surrey on their own ten metre line, Penfold threw in to yours truly and before anyone knew what was happening I was embarked upon a half pitch dash for the line, naturally I scored with supreme style and elegance. Okay ego trip over back to the game. Some more rucking play from surrey saw them coming ever nearer to putting the game safe from the opposition when after a five metre scrum the ball flew loose, upon which paul gamble picked it up and popped up a little pass to
yours truly who crossed the line for a second time! From then on in Surrey were in a commanding position finally putting the icing on the cake when Rob Sheffield went over in the corner. A joyous time was had by all ( myself especially ) which certainly justified the antics in the union later on that evening, with the new influx of freshers coming there’s only one way up! Final score: Surrey 29 Raccal Decca 0.
NAME: Rich Saulet COURSE: Law and French LIKES: The usual : bar, large overdraft, parent’s money, student loan day, my girlfriend DISLIKES: My arse after a curry, anyone’s arse after a curry SPORTS PLAYED: Any ball and racket sports, rugby, cricket, etc.. BEST DRINK: JS Smooth BEST DRUNK MOMENT: At my 21st, dancing with my mum’s best friend pinching her arse and calling her my Pamela Anderson. (she’s not) RESPECT TO: British Lions. My mum’s mate for not having hit me.
Dickies Pulsating Column
nother week goes by and my pen is, still looking for something to write about. I have also interviewed Cazza this week. Hopefully there won’t be any last minute articles submitted by the newly formed Conker Society, so you should get to read it this week! What a weekend! If you are half as patriotic as I am, you have been keeping a close eye on the Ryder cup, watching the Europeans kick the Americans arse. It is brilliant to see that an “amateur” event can provoke such emotion and interest every time that it is played. It is a shame that the question of players payment has been raised this year by the Americans and no doubt next time the players will be paid. Pride no longer seems to have a place in
Dickies 2nd Interview
NAME: Cazza JOB: Sports Rep. LIKES: Rugby. DISLIKES: Semolina Pudding, Heights and Sub Aqua/ Diving SPORTS PLAYED: All. But I am Tiger Woods. Bloody Minibuses. BEST DRINK: 19 pints of lager. BEST DRUNKEN MOMENT: Attempting to nick £50 from Pizza Plus and running into Big Alvin on the way out! BEST SOBER MOMENT: Sports fair and watching everyone else getting wankered. RESPECT TO: Deano Richards
the world of top class sport. The crowds present at Valderrama were incredible this year. Now Surrey sportsmen don’t expect to see 10,000 people crowding round the touchlines to cheer the winning try; or 15,000 to see the 5th team skipper knock home the vital penalty to beat the Blackwater Cleaner’s 2nd XI. However all support at home (and away games) is welcomed. Home events, especially when the BUSA matches start (8th October), are very social occasions for players and spectators alike. So get down to the Varsity centre and abuse referees (a particular speciality of mine), have a few beers and get involved. Girls come down and watch your blokes lardy arse run up and down; blokes get down and just
imagine what it would be like getting jammed in between your girlfriend’s opposite number’s thighs. If competitive sports are not your thing get involved away. There is so much going on that there is no excuse for remaining a fat, unfit bastard!! Good luck to all those football teams in Europe this week. They should all win except Rangers who do have the toughest tie, of this week or any, against the quality French side Strasbourg who ARE well respected throughout Europe. Not.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue listening from where you left off, or restart the preview.