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Thursday 26th March 1998
Millbank tapes: now the Tories step in
Bare Facts story revealed Labours disgraceful act of deception says Shadow Education Secretary
Senior Conservative MP’s last week seized on a recent Bare Facts report as evidence that the Labour Party committed a ‘disgraceful act of deception’ before last year’s general election.
Two weeks ago, Bare Facts exposed Labour party spokesmen as having briefed student journalists, immediately before last year’s general election, that students would not have to pay tuition fees. In a briefing especially for student newspapers at the party’s Millbank headquarters, a spokesman had said that “our proposals only relate to maintenance support....the public purse should support tuition fees.” The party announced its decision to impose fees just months later, with Labour MP’s claiming that their policy had not changed, pointing out that the Party’s manifesto was unclear on the issue. Stephen Dorrell MP, the Shadow Secretary of State for Education & Training, received Bare Facts on Friday 13th March, after it was passed to him by staff working for the National Union of Students. Dorrell then hit out at Peter Mandelson the following Monday, in a press release issued from Conservative Central Office. Commenting on the report, he said “It is now clear that before the last election the Labour Party deliberately misled students over their policy for the reform of higher education funding...Peter Mandelson manipulated his audience into believing that students would not pay tuition fees under Labour. Four months later, Labour cynically broke this pledge...Students up and down the country now know that Labour deceived them before the last election in order to secure their electoral support.” Mr Dorrell then headed for the House of Commons. Quoting the report in his speech during the debate on the Teaching and Higher Education Bill, which contains the controversial fees proposal, he clashed with Margaret Hodge, Labour MP for Barking, in an exchange documented in Hansard, the record of all parliamentary debates. The spokesman quoted in Bare Facts had, argued Dorrell, “made it crystal clear at that official briefing that the Government did not intend to introduce tuition fees”. “That is not so”, interjected Hodge. “I shall read it again as the honourable lady appears to have missed it” replied Dorrell, adding that the evidence merely “confirms what we all know to be true, which is that, ahead of the election, Labour had decided to abolish the maintenance grant. Now, the Government like to claim that the passage in the manifesto made that explicit and clear, but it was carefully worded to obscure the Labour party’s policy.” The Conservatives, whose own track record on managing higher education funding could hardly be called squeaky clean, went on to attack David Blunkett, the Secretary of State for Education accusing him of ‘being in a mess’ with the current plans. NUS staff were pleased with the Tories’ swift response, and went on this week to claim that if parents assessed to make a contribution under the new fees system fail to do so at the same rate as current defaults on assessed maintenance contributions, the shortfall faced by universities could total £31 million. According to NUS President Douglas Trainer, universities may end up using selective recruitment, only taking on students whose parents will pay.
War of words Top: the original story, published on 12th March. Middle: the response from the Conservative Party spin doctors. Bottom: an extract from Hansard, the record of parliamentary debates, from March 16th.
n n News 1 Features 3 Letters 4 n Cinema and Arts 8 Union News 9
n Music 6 Entertainments Guide 7 . n Notices & Personals 9 Sport 12 .
r Bulle ’s
Thursday 26th March 1998 n
News in Brief
fail Health Secretary, Frank Dobson has promised advice from those successful managers but said they could ultimately be sacked if they do not deliver.
NHS chiefs get ultimatum
NHS managers will face chop if they do not cut their waiting lists for treatments. The government is anxious to meet its flagship manifesto promise to remove 100,000 patients from hospital waiting lists. If they
Yeltsin sacks Russian governement
o once again the Russian President Boris Yeltsin is making headlines all over world. This time, however, his health is not in speculation. He has sacked the whole of his government, for lacking “the dynamism required for the necessary reforms.” He has confounded his critics, who only one week ago were complaining that he was incapable of decisive action. How they have been proved wrong! He had indicated that he was unhappy with his government when he bounced back from his health scare in September and chastised them for infighting.
Consumer goods prices to come down
One week after the price hikes of the Budget, the Chancellor and his EU counterparts have announced plans to cut the prices of many products. Gordon Brown’s initiative has the aim of cutting the cost of food, CD’s, sports goods and cars to match US prices. It is hoped this will help ease the figure of 18 million out-of-work Europeans.
Chernomyrdin’s successor, a 35 year old “technocrat” from the Ministry Of Energy. Sergei Kiriyenko is now a hair’s breadth away from the Presidency of Russia, because if Yeltsin does die (which seems fairly likely despite the constant denials from the Kremlin) he will become the acting President. So who are the losers in this sweeping change? The main loser seems to be Viktor Chernomyrdin, the former Prime Minister, who had been a devoted and respected member of Yeltsins’ government. Another loser is the unpopular Anatoly Chubais, who had been the Chief of Staff before being demoted late last year to First Deputy Prime Minister. Anatoly Chubais had been considered an excellent economist but his reforms proved deeply unpopular and ineffective. The fact that he is engaged to Yeltsin’s daughter Tatyana Dyachenko, will make for an interesting wedding! This is the latest move by an ailing President desperate to maintain a grip on power despite his incredibly fragile health. However, whether he will live to see the next Presidential elections in the year 2000 is anyone’s guess. The Presidential race is now thrown wide open and there are so many contenders, will Yeltsin have the strength to fend them off?
Art for every body
A sculptor has appeared in court accused of stealing human remains from the Royal College Of Surgeons. The macabre artist allegedly paid for an inside source to smuggle out body parts, including a head to make sculptures. He is pleading not guilty.
A table for 15,000 please, waiter
15,000 Portuguese ate themselves into the record books last week. They devoured the largest lunch ever served-several tones of the traditional dish "feijoada", at the longest table ever laid. They ate on what is now the longest bridge in Europe: the Vasco da Gama bridge, and used 200 buses to get to their seats.
104 year-old driver causes chaos
A 104 year old Swedish driver could be the oldest ever to be prosecuted for dangerous driving. The old man caused mayhem while out on his Sunday afternoon spin in his Ford Cortina. Police say he ran red lights and crashing into parked cars. Finally he got stuck while doing a 3 point turn and ended up going back and forth smashing into cars on each side of the street. The man told police that he drove daily.
When he decided to sack Prime Minister Chernomyrdin, who had been widely considered as his successor, he had no choice but to sack the whole of the government. The economic and political problems that Russia faces at the moment were, according to Yeltsin, intensified by his ministers’ sporadic attempts at reform. Yeltsin now intends to increase the speed of reform of the state industries to improve Russia’s ailing economy. Who will assist him in this pace of change? He has chosen a relative unknown to be
Titanic remains unsinkable
screen sitcoms in the states.
inning 11 Oscars in Monday night’s 70th Academy Award Ceremony, Titanic has equalled Ben Hur as the most celebrated film of all time.
Good Will Hunting was the other winner of the evening with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck taking the award for Best Original Screenplay and Robin Williams winning Best Supporting Actor. Two nods of agreement from this critic for one of the best films to hit the big screen in a long time. The losers? Well, The Full Monty was pretty much overlooked, only taking one of the Musical awards. This goes against popular opinion, but in the fact of fierce competition from Titanic, it only ever stood an outside chance. Perhaps the biggest surprise of the night was Boogie Nights and Burt Reynolds leaving the ceremony empty-handed. For another amazing film and a great comeback performance from one of the old stars of the screen, this controversial picture was overlooked in favour of what was, after all, a film about a ship. At least the Academy are as fickle as ever. All in all, a record-breaking night for a sinking ship, the stuffing knocked out of last year’s mammoth winner The English Patient, a drought of awards for us Brits and The Full Monty remaining fully clothed. If you haven’t done so already, go and see Good Will Hunting, As Good as it Gets, Boogie Nights, or - for the umpteenth time Titanic.
Winning the Best Picture award is justified for this epic tale and the most expensive film ever made. However, James Cameron as Best Director? Was this just the Academy steaming along on the wave of public opinion? Titanic is more of an exercise in good administration in comparison to L.A. Confidential, Curtis Hanson’s directoral masterpiece. This was slightly offset by Kim Bassinger deservedly winning Best Supporting Actress. Other winners of the night? Jack Nicholson earning yet another Oscar as Best Actor for his performance as a compulsive-obsessive in As Good As It Gets. Jack really is one of the last remaining stars in Hollywood and although he has his share of bad films to his name, his latest performance will bring him back to the public eye more than any of his previous comeback vehicles. Helen Hunt as Best Actress? Surprising and controversial in the face of Kate Winslett and Dame Judie Dench, but at the same time a deserved winner for a talented and overlooked actress, who now looks as though she will no longer be confined to small-
Thursday 26th March 1998
Talent Competition: the aftermath
The results of Sunday’s talent competition proved controversial, the six judges swimming against a tide of popular opinion on the day. So, what happened?
Right on cue
inally, about time, thank god and at last, were all comments made by the forty-one entrants to the first University of Surrey pool competition for absolutely bloody ages. Despite a late switch to Thursday night the interest shown was well beyond anything I had hoped for or expected.
ell, it’s all over. This year saw probably the highest standard of student talent ever seen here. It was a difficult enough task for the judges deciding who should go through to the final, but the task of deciding the overall winner was really tough.
Woman’ and ‘Techno Mozart’ to an enthusiastic audience. Young band Coy were up next, showing a great deal of potential for future success in the talent competition...watch this space! Calling Orson received a tremendous support from the audience and played what they described as their ‘best set ever’. Rounding up the day was Dave, another young, up-and-coming band who delighted the audience with their catchy, poppy songs, and finished off the proceedings on a high note (!!). The 6 judges were a good mixture of performers, agents and band bookers and went off into their huddle for what seemed like forever. 35 minutes later, Alan Roy emerged from behind the big black curtains to announce this years winners. He began by explaining some of the criteria for judging; quality of songs, enthusiasm, audience response and professionalism. Then came the moment everyone had been waiting for:
1st Place 2nd Place 3rd Place
Dave Housewife Bohica
There were tears of happiness and disappointment, some amazed faces and some disgruntled bands, but, in all these things, judges’ decision is final and the music industry thrives on controversy. Huge congratulations to the winners, Dave. We’ll be expecting big things from you in the future. And equally huge congratulations to all the bands who took part, especially those who made it through to the final. Thanks to Stage Crew, who did a great job throughout. Thanks to all the judges of the heats and the final, and thanks to all of you, the audience, who gave so much support to the acts and made the whole competition such a success. This will be a hard year to follow.
“individual” conditions and each match was played in a sporting albeit very competitive manner. Top prize of £10, a FNO ticket and an extremely nice pool cue, generously donated by Guildford Automatics, went to Barry Willis. Having “bravely” beaten both the organisers in earlier rounds, Barry won an extremely close final against Jem Ramazanoglu. Congratulations to Barry and everyone who took part and in particular Belinda Olafsson who brilliantly represented the female entry entirely on her own. If an experimental competition can be such a resounding success, there is no reason why pool at Surrey cannot go from strength to strength.
The final afternoon began at 1.30, along with Hari’s Beer Keller, which also went down a storm. Bohica began the day with their original and catchy rock style and set the scene for an astounding day. Housewife followed, playing their favourites ‘Big Fat
The tournament ran very smoothly and special thanks must go to Kev Chan who helped me organise the first of what I hope to be many more pool competitions. If you are interested in helping, then just let me know through the new Pool pigeon hole. As to the actual competition, the standard was excellent. Everyone played under the same
Mountaineers hold dinner
Eli Bowley Colin Sermons
It was Friday the 13th; this didn’t bode well for what is the highlight of the USMC social calendar. But fear not Eli Bird was in charge…… PANIC!!! As five o’clock approached the members of the University of Surrey Mountaineering Club converged on an unsuspecting Campusport brandishing (in some cases, very new and shiny) lead racks, smelly climbing shoes and D.J.s. By about 5.20pm, and after a lot of flapping in true bird-like fashion, Eli had managed to shove 14 climbers and the necessary supplies for the journey into the white minibus and they were on their way, and more importantly out of her hair!!! (Feeling a bit stressed were you?) Safe in the knowledge that they would be stuck in the traffic on the M25, that left a few more people to wait for and eventually both minibuses and the gear bus were Peak District bound by about 7pm. We reached the pre-arranged rendezvous point (Translation: nearest pub to where the first minibus ran out of alcohol!) and were soon settled down for a couple of bevvies. The next day was spent (dare I say it?) CLIMBING! Lots of people went up, some came down faster than planned, and others just sat around admiring the view (getting windburn!). We eventually descended upon the plush unsuspecting hotel covered in mud, sweat and glowing a nice shade of red (saves on blusher!) all looking forward to a nice warm shower and an evening of drunken foolishness. Dinner was eventually served after the arrival of the ever late Joe McCarthyHolland and co. and the fine cuisine was enjoyed by everyone (so was the wine!) After which it was time to get down to the serious business of the award ceremony. This saw members of the club receiving various items as awards to recognise events throughout the year. This was to include: The Yellow laces - most spectacular lead fall (they’re the dangerous ones!), the Cowboy of the year, Golden Krab award, most spectacular wimp out of the year, And Tart of the year. We also gave special awards for the most outstanding comedy moments throughout the year. The hotel barman proved to be one cool cookie, remaining un-flustered when confronted with the dilemma of who to serve first, The Playboy Bunny with the whip or the Transvestite in the pink dress (the least said about this the better!!?!) As the evening wore on and the barman had started to drink with us (probably a wise course of action considering the sights in his bar - a bloke cleaning his nostrils with a condom etc. etc.) and some people decided to toddle off to bed. In the end the bar shut at about 2.30am (minus a few items) and people went back to their rooms to either sleep, throw up or pass out (or a combination of all 3 in some cases!!!) Sunday dawned another fine day (for
The poetry corner
Tip of a pen Sure of a pen’s comfort; It smoothes along, follows my fingers’ desires, touches the line here and there; its many curves undulate forming loops, shallows, a trough, a peak, mimicking a mood, silently communicating a voice, a heart, releasing a constant stream of ink, relentless like pity, its tiny rasps murmur from the page, its future clear, clear like centimetres, a true straight margin. The page will always accept wet kisses from its tip, will always be held in the tender embrace of three fingers and even its plastic heart is infinite in its expression: can easily write words like ‘love’ or ‘hate’ and score through both, can equally have the power of ambiguity, the deviousness of words or just mumble like scribbles. Longing and desire waits Like a page for ink.
some people!!!) and a lot of the club members managed to eat large amounts of fried food, it was great ( . After we had eventually managed to make everyone part with their keys and nice warm beds, circus antics ensued as we tried to extract the minibuses from the hotel car park (with debatable success!). Once more we headed for the…. (Drum roll please!) …. CRAG! And a day of some climbing, much eating of chocolate cake and the sport of ‘pushing the sleeping Arwel down the hill’ (tee hee hee) followed. We made good time on the journey home and were in the Union in time for last orders to nicely round off the weekend. If you want to find out more about the USMC, or want to have a go at climbing, check out the club web-page or come along to the Vertex at Campusport any Wednesday afternoon 3pm to 5pm.
melodious - Wednesdays, Wates House, 5pm
Thursday 26th March 1998 n
Talent contest decision ‘astounding’ Middle East: don’t forget the Palestinians
I am writing to question the judges’ decision to give Calling Orson no credit in the 1998 Talent contest. With no disrespect to Dave, the eventual winners, I find it astounding that a band who performed 8 of their own songs and 2 covers throughout the competition should not be given the respect they deserve. Especially considering that the judges claimed that in addition to musical talent they were looking for:
* Variety of Material * Audience Reaction and * Stage Presence. As one of the 100 or so enthusiastic audience members that made their way to the dancefloor to witness the energetic performance given by Calling Orson, and noting the criteria stated above, I really feel that they deserved better. Yours disappointedly Vicki Bowers
Imagine, if you will, the following situation..... You are happily living your life in Surrey when suddenly on the news you hear that the UN have decided to create a homeland for a large group of refugees. The site of the homeland will be half of the UK, the bit South of Birmingham (although you can keep a piece of London). Then you are asked to please move out of the new homeland and into some lovely settlements in the North (no disrespect to Northerners of course). Almost 50 years later you are still there, living in conditions which can only be described as disgusting. Effectively, you have become the refugee. The question I have for you is, would you refuse the UN partitioning plan? I am referring to a comment made in a letter published in BF last week in which the author suggested that the current conflict in
the Middle East is due to the Arabs opposing the UN partition plan for Palestine in 1948. Can you blame them? I myself, do not claim to be an expert on the Middle Eastern situation, but it does seem to me that as a nation we are very pro-Israel, and that is not necessarily a bad thing in itself, but we should not ignore the plight of the Palestinians who are in fact people who have been displaced themselves. Just one more closing point, the author last week made the point that Israel has not threatened its neighbours with chemical weapons. Perhaps, the situation in Southern Lebanon should be looked at for what it is. Here’s to peace, and a compromise for both sides! Name & URN supplied
More ‘disbelief’ at talent contest result
I am writing to express my complete and utter disbelief concerning the result of the 1998 Talent contest. For those of you who are unaware, the result stands at: ‘Dave’ first, ‘Housewife’ second, ‘Bohica’ third and ‘Coy’ and ‘Calling Orson’ last. This result came as a complete surprise to almost everybody in the Union. Having spoken to all of the bands beforehand, the musicians clearly felt that it was a direct fight between Housewife and Calling Orson. When Housewife was announced as second, everybody assumed that Calling Orson had reached the top spot. However, somehow Dave stole the limelight. I agree that the
judges do have, and are welcome to, their own opinions. However I am concerned as to how greatly their opinion differs to those of the audience. I am well aware that the result could never be reversed, though I would like to forward the idea that Calling Orson should perform at the Graduation Ball. I think that as we are forced to support the judges’ opinion in the Talent Contest, for the Graduation Ball we should see the acts that we, the students, want to see. I know that I am not alone in this view and they would prove incredibly popular. Looking forward to seeing the support that Calling Orson deserve, Jake Conway
A crap letter
I was pleased to see John Dear using the word 'crapulent' in his front page article last week. It's always seemed apropriate for a newspaper devoted to student life as it means 'suffering from sickness due to excessive drinking'. However, it would probabally wise (sic) not to try to use it as a
clever version of crap. After all its better to use crap than to be write it. (sic) Yours sincerely, Andy Parton
Talent show tantrums: Calling Orson were ‘discriminated against’
What the hell happened in the talent contest?! Do the union have a problem with Calling Orson. Without them unplugged would have been nothing this year yet the Union seem to have the problem with them. There was a chance that Calling Orson could play at the Charter Ball, but this never happened, maybe the ball would have been more successful if they had. Who fills in when the Union is let down by another band – Calling Orson! They were supposed to play at the beginning of the semester and it was cancelled. Now they’ve been discriminated against again. Were the judges blind and deaf? Calling Orson should have at least been placed. The criteria the judges were using to judge the competition were a) Band presence on stage; Calling Orson were
far better than Dave on stage, jumping about and looking as if they were enjoying themselves and were far more confident than Dave. b) Audience participation; who had the most support and who’s performance did the audience most enjoy? Dave? I don’t think so! Calling Orson had far more support. The winners of the contest were supposed to support Rootjoose and warm up the audience. How can a band that can only perform 4 songs be a support band when the audience doesn’t even get involved? At the end of the day the consensus view was that the three best bands were Housewife, Calling Orson and Bohica. If these three bands had been placed in the top three, in any order, there would have been far less complaints, but as it is, it seems Calling Orson has been discriminated against yet again! Liz Case
Johnny boy’s ‘wheels of pants’ just won’t do
I read with interest the Entertainments Guide in last weeks Bare Facts, mostly paying attention to next Friday’s arranged entertainment. After 10 hard weeks of work (okay - 3 hard weeks of trying to get my essays in on time), I was looking forward to a memorable social occasion to mark the beginning of my well-earned Easter holidays and to set myself in fine spirits for the forthcoming celebration of re-birth. I had asked myself “What fine band will they provide for my entertainment” on said night. After the sterling work of getting the Lightening Seeds and Finlay Quaye, I had high hopes. But I looked down, and what did I see? Jonny Boy Revell and his “wheels of steel”. His wheels of pants more like. What a bunch of arse. We are getting something that is used
merely as a short slap-stick gag, a clever but fairly unfunny parody of the outdated stereotype of mobile disco DJ’s. I have to ask myself is this meant as a satire on the standard Union entertainment? Please - you can do better than this. Counteract the criticism of the Charter Ball by providing a band that really are value for money. After all, you have brought in many fine bands for Sunday evenings. Can’t one of those be persuaded to come back for a second running? Yours faithfully,
Daniel Stephens P.S. Try and get the Dust Junkys (nb - not “Junkies” as in last weeks album review). They are brilliant.
Thursday 26th March 1998
Entertainments need rethinking Pornograpy: where should the line be drawn?
especially when we are being asked to fork out such a large amount of our limited cash. It brings us back to basic student needs. It’s the last night out before the long Easter break and most people, after a stressful exam week, just want to go out and have a fun night in the union. It’s time the union wakes up and stops taking us for granted. One final thought, after the success of the talent competition and the obvious quality of some of our bands, isn’t it time that student bands were given more of a chance to play in the main union? Mark Stuart (For anyone interested in Entertainments in the Students’ Union, the Ents Committee meets at 6:15 every Monday in the Grant Mitchell Room, downstairs in the Union, and is open to all students - ed)
After all the recent debates regarding Iraq and pornogrophy, I feel it’s time to return to the basic issue of Ents, student needs and value for money. It’s a classic case of one step forward, two steps back for the union. The semester began with the gross overcharging of the first FNO, then greatly improved with all the theme nights but now looks like finishing on a damp note with the final FNO featuring.......Johnny Boy Revel and his Wheels of Steel! OK so he would liven the evening up a bit but is he really worth paying a fiver for just to hear Cindies music for an hour and have him say “have a great one”? We learnt from the Christmas Ball that DJ’s who arrive at midnight to play an hour long set really don’t work as the main event of an evening,
In response to the letter concerning a workman’s ‘pornographic’ calendar in edition 931, I felt the need to reply, especially after listening to a debate on freedom of expression on ‘The Moral Maze’ today. Pornography can be offensive and degrading, but where does one draw the line in censorship? Censorship may seem an extreme term in relation to these offended young women. But does one have the right to sanction what others read, look at, or think about? If bare breasts and thighs are offensive to women, are pictures of halfnaked men, which are popular now, offensive to men? Should these be banned as well? My floor’s kitchen has a happy marriage of male and female posters (all demurely posed and semi-clothed) on the notice board. We are exercising our freedom to look at sexually attractive people while munching our coco-pops (and all preferences have been catered for). Would these young women be offended and degraded by that? The ‘Moral Maze’ mentioned a gay photographer’s book, which contained sado-masochism pictures (including an interesting receptacle for a bull’s whip) as well as ‘standard’ still-lives. The debate was, should this be banned? Was this akin to Murdoch’s ‘editing’ and refusal to print Patten’s book to protect the former’s business in China. (Allegedly).
The issue wasn’t what was right and what was wrong, but who controlled our freedom of expression. Obviously, there are some issues like child pornography and graphic violence that on the whole, western society finds offensive and would not sanction for widespread consumption. But, surely in the case of a pornographic calendar (exactly what does pornographic mean in this case - like ‘page three’, or are we talking about the use of serious hardware here?) spied through a window, one could be mature enough to could be mature enough to respect somebody’s freedom of choice. Or are these young women suggesting that we have an authoritarian institution where nobody can express their individuality. Does this mean that my floor should loose its breakfast time visual entertainment? Or on a more serious note, does it mean that marginalised groups such as homosexuals, bisexuals and some religious groups are prevented from expressing their individuality? I hope these offended young women read the article by the Equal Opportunities Officer and got a sense of perspective. Or are they sanctioning that no student or staff member has the right to express themselves? I don’t personally fancy being at a university controlled by those who think they are protecting society when in fact they have no respect for anyone’s freedom, except their own. L. Astbury
Pornography campaigners hit back
Why, dear little boys, did you get upset? In an ideal world, men and women would show each other respect , be equal and get the same treatment from people wherever they went and from whomever they talked to. There is no such thing as an ideal world, but the world is a sad place. And if anything, we felt sad when we read the reactions to our letter about pornography in the university. Where did people in this country go wrong? Why do people get upset about women being offended by pornography? WHY? and why do you think we should look the other way? If everybody looked the other way every time they saw something they didn’t like, the world would never change. And while we are at it, WHY DIDN’T PEOPLE WHO GOT UPSET LOOK THE OTHER WAY in that case? We don’t think pornography within a university is okay. Once again - what people do at home is their business. The old “soon we will have people telling us what we can and cannot do at home” just doesn’t work. Think twice (Have you thought at all?!!) We never said that all men who watch pornography attack women (though there is a clear connection between men who do attack women and pornography). “Respect is a commodity to be earned on one’s merits, not issued on demand to half the world’s population” writes one upset person (PR Groves - Steve.). Really?! My God, are you a sad little person? Don’t you think it’s a better idea that all the people in this world respect each other? You won’t know a thing about most people you run into in your life, does that mean that you don’t have to respect them, because you can’t be sure that they have actually earned it? Grow up. The reason why we wrote the letter this term and not last term was that we talked to the Union in December and they said they would take action in this issue. Since nothing seemed to have happened, we decided to write the letter. Though we do find it hilarious that even the fact that it took us three months before we wrote the letter upset you. Talk about not having a life.... We think it is a good idea that you contact Esther of Vanessa, see BBC2 website for details as PR Groves suggested.
“Complaining about ladies with no clothes is so eighties” is another comment. This is not something which was only discussed in the eighties (were you even born then?), but continues to be discussed, Haven’t you noticed? Sad. Yes, everyone is most certainly entitled to their opinion, but that doesn’t mean we have to agree - does it? Once there was a man called Hitler and he was entitled to his opinion..... “In this society, we citizens must tolerate the harmless foibles of our fellow homosapiens if civilisation as we know it is to be sustained.” Wow, doesn’t that sound beautiful? We almost cried when we read it. And of course you are the one to decide what’s harmless? There are plenty of people (sadly enough) who think that child pornography, for example, is harmless and they are entitled to their opinion. That’s part of the civilisation you want to sustain. Because we don’t want any changes - do we? We never said that people shouldn’t be allowed to watch pornography at home. We just said that we do not want pornography within the DEPARTMENTS of this university. There is a clear difference you know (or don’t you?). Even though 4 people wrote lovely and well composed answers to our letter we still don’t understand why you got upset in the first place. It seems to us that you were offended. Well tough luck! Nobody in this place seems to worry a bit about offending other people. And for your information: of course we are 2 ugly, single virgins who wear grey M&S knickers, who feel sick when we see naked people and who hate sex! How did you know ?!!! How dared we walk into Mr H’s office? Actually, we weren’t a bit afraid! We’re sure that Mr H appreciates your concern though. And by the way: it’s Mrs X and Ms Y. Why we didn’t want our names printed alongside our views? Because we suspected that we would attract attention from loony males like you and as sweet as you are we don’t want you hanging on our doorsteps. Well, bye for now little boys! Names and URNs supplied
Chemistry department is unsafe
I’m writing to inform and complain about that shambolic situation that I found myself in on Monday afternoon. On Monday morning, I was going to my lecture in the Computer-Aided Chemistry lab in Level 19 in building AZ. However the main entrance between AZ and AX was closed. I therefore decided to walk to the other side of the building to gain entrance (since you can’t walk right though level 19 since the planner, foolishly, decided to place a lab right in the centre of it). Sadly, again, I wasn’t lucky, since the entrance was also closed down. -I walked around the building again and had to walk over Level 20 and back down to level 19. So I was now in a room where my two points of exit in the case of a fire appeared closed. My lecturer and myself mused on the fact that we were buggered if there was a fire. In the afternoon, there was an oil fire -we had to leave. Not through the CAC fire exit has it doesn’t, apparently, lead anywhere constructive, and not through the lab. So again I had to walk right over the building. Anyway, the fire brigade arrived -all be it unable to reach the building properly. People still filtering out of the building probably delayed since they tried to exit the building using the known fire exits, as we’d use in a practice. After a while the alarms went off and the firemen left. People started to filtering in again (another glorious walk over and around Level 19). I sat down at my computer, only for some bloke in a security coat telling me to evacuate again, illustrating that
either he wasn’t aware that it was now safe or, more alarmingly, that people were allowed in when it WASN’T SAFE. So I went out again.... Another walk over Level 19. And returned to the fire point, with another array of increasingly pissed off people. 3 mins later we were allowed in again. This time I decided to travel through Level 17 (probably annoying H&C, but I too was annoyed)... If this fire had been any worse, I don’t believe it’s too strong to say that people could have actually died in there. If you are travelling in haste to the fire exit you don’t expect it to be apparently blocked off, because then you need to go against the tide of equally distressed people to try another. Finally having to decide to chance your luck walking though a chemical lab full of solvents during a fire or walk up a level and across and down again. Additionally, why and how were people allowed back in when some guards were still evacuating people? Normally, and if sense had anything to do with the situation, a guard would be on each door and someone should be with the people who have got out, keeping them up to date. I think today has shown a sad lacking in fire safety in the Chemistry and SBS blocks, as well as a lack of communication between staff. I don’t care if maintainence work is only a temporary thing - a fire exit can be used at any time! Yours Concerned and, luckily, not burned, Anton McCoy
sive. ‘Owed To A Devil’ becomes long and repetitive. This is a band I will be looking out for in the future. 7/10 G.D. THE WARM JETS - Hurricane (Island) Radio 1 sanctioned daytime rock song. Fairly pleasant to listen to with a nice big chorus. A softer more subtle version of Therapy. Expect a top 20 hit from this. 7/10 A.T. MOKE - Wheel In Motion (Dorado) Another single taken from their debut album ‘Superdrag’ which see them more swinging to their hip hop roots. The only problem with this, is that it slows the wheel down too much. 6/10 K.M SOULFLY - Bleed (Roadrunner) Loud guitars, ferocious drums, screaming vocals, what more could you expect from the former frontman of Sepultura(Max Cavalera) new band. Well something not so Sepultura. 6/10 K.M ARTIFICIAL JOY CLUB - Sick And Beautiful (Interscope) A rather unimaginative debut track from this Canadian five piece. It basically sounds like a bit of Garbage mixed with Curve and then topped with a dashing of Portishead. A blend which is smooth but not Earl Grey. 6/10 K.M TINA MOORE - Nobody Better (Delirious) The trouble with putting previous hits on a new single is that you realize that the new single isn’t as good as the old one. This is the case here ‘Nobody Better’ is a good dance track and will do well, but it isn’t as good as her last hit ‘Never Gonna Let You Go’. 6/10 G.D. AUDIOWEB - Policeman Skank (Mother) When this single first comes on it sounds quite good, but the single drags on way too long on sounds the same all the way through it, with great use of repetition. Not brilliant or amazing 5/10 G.D. KARATE - Operation:Sand/Empty There (Southern) A rather apocalyptical guitar sound which doesn’t want to come together. Sounds a bit like an instrumental version Pavement a couple of years back. 5/10 I.P. ALEX WHITCOMBE & BIG C - Ice Rain (Xtravaganza) Sounds like Grace, but more voliny, needs some more kick to it. 5/10 F.F. THE HIGH FIDELITY - Come Again (Plastique) The follow up to the amazing ‘Addicted To A TV’ this isn’t as immediate or catchy. Weird experimental electronic noises buzz over a fairly middling indie guitar tune. Nothing to get excited about. 5/10 A.T. FINITRIBE - Make My Mind-Up (Infectious) I find it very tedious when a group lacks the imagination to write different songs and instead opts for 6 or so remixes of the same one. The original track is not that bad with the vocals seeming quite dark at times, but the remixes, though different are a waste of time. 5/10 E.C. MIDGET - Invisible Balloon (Radar) There are many mysteries in this world, like why students voted Labour and why club prices go up the less time you spend inside. Another is how Midget got signed. ‘Invisible Balloon’ is a poppy fuzzy teen punk jaunt that sounds just like a song by any of the hundreds of sixth form bands across the country. Unbelievably average. 4/10 A.T. INDIAN VIBES - Mathar (V:C) Indian music played over beats together with four remixes. Some which rather lose the Indian bit, one which goes just plain weird and a dubby version. 4/10 I.P. ALABAMA 3 - Ain’t Goin’ To Goa (Elemental) Putting eight mixes of the same track on one CD is OK if they all sound more or less different to each other, but when it sounds as boring and monotonous as this, whoever is responsible ought to be guillotined. 1/10 G.C.
Thursday 26th March 1998 n
MASSIVE ATTACK – Tear Drop (Virgin) New Single taken from forthcoming album ‘Mezzanine’, very dark and atmospheric, but with the ethereal falsetto of ex- Cocteau Twin Elizabeth Fraser which lifts it into a whole new world. 9/10 N.W. MARCY PLAYGROUND - Sex And Candy (Capitol) Indifferent Kurt Cobain vocals saturated in a smoky, dreamy saloon bar euphony before spilling into the dusky aura of a late summers evening. Invigoratingly catchy. 8/10 D.J. STEPHEN BAYLIS - Good Timing (Sand) This is a debut single in the style of a boy band. It is good but lacks a degree of originality. Good for easy listening on a sunny day. It could be described as beach/deck chair music. 8/10 G.T. GROOP DOGDRILL - Jackie O (Mantra) Having stormed the Union the other week, Groop Dogdrill deliver yet another cool as fuck slice of groove-bound hard-bluesy rock. You should buy this. 8/10 R.W. RADIATOR Resistor (Chrysalis) On the press release there was an eye catching sentence saying ‘Tell ‘em it’s Black Sabbath fucking the Chemical Brothers up the arse’. An interesting note but cant see the resemblance, yes Chemical, Sabbath but arse, who are they? 8/10 K.M MELYS - Diwifr (Arctic) At first sight ‘Diwifr’ is just another debut single from an up and coming band. The difference between this and the norm is that it smacks of originality. The music definitely does break free from conventionality. The sounds are all new and exciting. The vocals have hopes and dreams embedded in them and the overall sound is hazy and narcotic/ethereal. Take a trip into another world. 8/10 G.T. THE PARADISE MOTEL - Calling You (Infectious) Ethereal and spiritual beauty is a difficult quality to bring to music. The Paradise Motel succeeds in mixing the spiritual style of artists like Enya with more upbeat orchestrations and melodies like groups which specialise in more easy listening. The tracks which follow ‘Calling You’ are almost as good. 8/10 G.T. GOMEZ - 78 Stone Wobble (Hut) A cool indie track, which has none of the “lets copy Oasis” mentality that is going around at the moment. 8/10 F.F. CHEEKY MONKEY - Four Arms to Hold You (Shoeshine) This is good old fashioned strummy guitar stuff and simple instrumentation. It makes a refreshing change to have that. The lyrics are listener friendly despite the fact that the singer is ever so slightly vocally challenged. Good start... cool. 8/10 G.T. ROBBIE WILLIAMS - Let Me Entertain You (Chrysalis) Robbie lands another blow to his critics, perhaps exclaiming “Take That” as he does so, whilst another rifling, supercharged single prepares to storm the charts. A sure fire hit for anyone with a penchant for D:Ream’s ‘Shoot Me (With Your Love)’. 7/10 D.J. BEN HARPER – Faded (Virgin) Typical American Rock, a bit like the Chili Peppers, a bit of a poor Hendrix impression, if your into the aforementioned you will probably like this. 7/10 N.W. PULSARS - Submission To The Master E.P (Almo) For a relatively new band this E.P is impressive. The first and main track ‘Submission Song’ is definitely the best song and the highlight of this CD, however, the rest of the E.P isn’t so impres-
IZZY STRADLIN- 117 Degrees (Geffen) Izzy left Guns’N’Roses at the right time, after co-writing some of the bests songs on the ‘Use Your Illusion’ albums and before the band became a farce. ‘117o’ is his second solo album and a more cohesive record than the first, possibly because Izzy’s voice sounds more natural when singing. Musically the album takes its lead from late-sixties / early-seventies Rolling Stones and Guns’N’Roses at their most potent. Looks like rock’n’roll is back this year. 8/10 R.W. JAMES - The Best Of (Fontana) This album is pretty much what I expected, all of the best James songs packed onto one C.D. A brilliant mix of the older singles, namely ‘Hymn From A Village’. Through to their latest single, ‘Destiny Calling’. In my opinion the best James tracks featured on this album have to be ‘She’s A Star’, ‘Waltzing Along’ and ‘Tomorrow’. But all tracks are brilliant and on the first listening I found myself not skipping any of them. The trouble with ‘Best Of’ albums though in general is that if you have all of their albums you will already have all of the tracks. However if you love James this is still a great album, and a must for your C.D. collection. 8/10 G.D. CECIL - Subtitles (Parlophone) Cecil’s days as a raucous hard rock band seem to be behind them, in their place is a thoughtful and melancholy band whose sound owes something to their labelmates Mansun. The singles ‘Red Wine At Dead Time’ and ‘Hostage In A Frock’ are the most instantly appealing songs, but ‘Acres’ with the “He makes more sense, she makes more sense out of the nonsense” hook that strikes as the albums highpoint. By the end of the album a lot of the tracks seem to be a bit samey. A good album certainly, but I miss the unpredictability of the old style Cecil. 7/10 R.W. RIALTO - Rialto (East West) To not mention Pulp and Suede would be a crime. There is more than an element of these in Rialto’s music - both the panoramic sound and uptight claustrophobic element (of carefully observed obsessions) seen at various times in their careers. But ‘Summers Over’ manages to sound like ‘Strawberry Fields’ and the Longpigs, as it laments the past and ‘Lucky Number’ is positively energising. So, there is talk of obsessions and lost love, all in a manner Morrissey would’ve been proud of - but only if there were a little more irony. There is, of course the humour (subtly in ‘Monday Morning 5.19’) but it is coupled with at least as much seriousness and neurosis (urm, ‘Monday Morning 5.19’). However, when you’re sweeping vast cinematic sounds across the listeners ears, you should I suppose, be sincere. Especially when you have such epic and almost justified illusions of grandeur. 7/10 D.J. DELINQUENT HABITS - Here Come The Horns (Loud) After nearly 2 years of relative silence, the Latin hip hop groovesters return with
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
PITCHSHIFTER - www.pitchshifter.com (Geffen) A concoction of raw energy, unstable elements heated together for 53 minutes, to form an uncontrollable amount of hard and fast break-beats, manic basslines and deadly guitars. Joined with the serious lyrical base discussing issues, like the Criminal Justice bill on ‘Genius’ to anti racism on ‘Microwaved’ and basically today’s society in general. On the last track of the album they are basically giving away free samples for you budding musicians to nick and mix all you like. Pitchshifter have continued to progress in leap and bounds since their first offering ‘Desensitized’ and even their last one as well, but with each one there is always something new. An exhilarating infusion of heavy metal and sonics. 9/10 K.M an array of mellow beats and distinctive rhymes that fuse jazz and rock, and flips between English and Spanish. This album shows the bands musical maturity and growth since the eponymously titled debut album, which included the top forty hit ‘Tres Delincuentes’. 7/10 G.C. THE MAKE UP - In Mass Mind (Dischord) This unknown Washington D.C. garage band, are really one of the most amazing bands I have ever heard, they sing soul R &B, what they call, the ‘gospel yeah yeah’. In parts a bit like Pulp, in their use of the organ, a bit like The Who in the amount of energy the singer Ian Svenonius uses up during each song, worth buying the album just for the brilliant sleeve notes. 7/10 N.W. FINITRIBE - Sleazy Listening (Infectious) Not quite old timers Finitribe are back with some more funky stuff which both makes you happy and relaxed at the same time. The album has a dark mood with slowed down samples, samples of people admitting they are scared (that’s what they sound like anyway), in fact samples of anything which is not “happy” or “nice”. Still something to do your work to, if you work in a cemetery or similar then this is your album of the year. 7/10 F.F. THE SORTS - More There (Slowdime) Intense instrumentation is built by a blending unorthodox guitar style, lean bass lines and heavy, alert drumming. Trombone and trumpet and some percussion instruments extracts are also included in this CD, giving the overall effect of a collage of sound that has an extra degree of richness. The vocals are clear, but not evasive. 7/10 G.C. THREE SECOND KISS - Everyday Everyman (Wide) Deconstructed sounds, peculiar geometries and disturbing sound puzzles make this a very weird sounding alternative rock album. Their songs combine melodic tunes, noisy punk guitars and some extraordinary jazz and funk singing. Quite unlike anything you’ve heard before! 7/10 G.C. BAD RELIGION - No Substance (Columbia) Throughout their seventeen years Bad Religion have pretty much led the way for the West Coast pop-punk field, and they have stuck with the same sound. Fans will be pleased that on ‘No Substance’ they have stuck with the buzz-saw guitars, big chorus and intelligent socially conscious lyrics. Bad Religion sound sharper than on their previous album ‘The Gray Race’, but ‘No Substance’ is unlikely to win them any new fans. 6/10 R.W. BRAID - Frame And Canvas (Polyvinyl) Brash guitar rock fueled by harsh production combine, attempting to demolish the underlying fresh, sonorous punk enthusiasm - still evident on this, their third long player. ‘Milwaukee Sky Rocket’ sounds desolate, an even more harrowing Pixies ‘Debaser’, and ‘A Dozen Roses’ hides a fractured, desperately hopeful melody behind a stuttering and relentless stream of subdued noise. ‘First Day Back’ smacks of early REM with the raw and refreshing riff, and the voice brings you back to a twisted, vociferous Spin Doctors sound. This album, literally screaming to be listened to is, ultimately, a demanding album and ‘(This Is) Hardcore’ in a way Pulp most definitely aren’t. Given attention there are rewards in the songs mentioned, which are blinding, but they do seem trapped in a dark place that is ‘Frame And Canvas’. 6/10 D.J. SIMPLE MINDS - Neapolis (Chrysalis) This new effort by the Simple Minds features Peter Walsh’s return to production controls alongside Charlie Burchill, and the classic tandem formed by bassist Derek Forbes and drummer Mel Gaynor returning to the rhythm section. The result is a return to the bands origins, with the use of synthesizers as the prime base of their songs as they did in their earlier albums. 6/10 G.C. ALL NATURAL LEMON & LIME FLAVOURS - Turning Into Small (Gern Blansten) All Natural Lemon & Lime Flavours should win an award for making a song sound unbearably flat using the least number of notes. You’ve just got to admire the skillful way in which they most of their songs slip slowly in and out of key. The tracks would sound a lot better without the continuous noise in the background, it just doesn’t stop. The vocals, when heard above the noise, are somewhat obscure and meaningless making for a very dull and rather depressing album. 1/10 E.C.
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
THE PECADILOES - The Wanting Song (A&M) Now on a major label, the Pecadiloes are in control of what is surely an electrifying destiny. Vibrating, sharp pop smothered in sugary harmonies. 9/10 D.J.
BERNARD BUTLER People Move On (Creation) There are certain bits if baggage solo artists bring with them, when they have previously been in successful bands. Just for a background, Bernard used to be the guitarist in Suede; who some say in the early 90’s kick-started a revolution in guitar music with a return towards 3 minute songs, the importance of image etc. ‘People Move On’ however does not sound like a Suede album, all instruments bar drums were played by Bernard, it was written and produced by Bernard, but here his influences have stretched further, giving the album a widescreen version of his music. The songs are ambitious, the opener ‘Woman I Know’ sounds a bit like Spiritualized, an 8 minute epic, others ‘Change of Heart’ are reminiscent of Neil Young particularly his ‘Harvest’ era, but with an amazing string arrangement at the end. ‘Autograph’ the albums centerpiece is another 8 minute song, a blues-rock epic, but with more amazing production with its brilliant crescendo at its close. The only downpoint on the album is that maybe there are too many slow songs, it needs more like the obvious single ‘You just know’. It is hard not to be sycophantic, when albums are just as inspiring as this, but it just shows that if you mean it, everything will be all right. 9/10 N.W.
This weeks music bought to you by Daniel Jones, Frank Fraulo, Ian Purvey, Georgina Tarrant, Gabriel-Oliver Chamero, Emma Clarke, Kevin Marston, Nick Walsh, Andrew Thomas, Gemma Decent, Rob Winder
Thursday 26th Marh 1998
It is always advisable to confirm with the venue before travelling. 20.00 Only Fools and Horses 21.00 Blackadder II
Asian Dub Foundation - Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms (01705 863911) Bluetones, Mover - Guildford Civic Hall (01483 444555) Pocket Devils - London 100 Club (0171 636 0933) Tribute To Nothing, dBH, Lockdown Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) Snuff, King Prawn - London Electric Ballroom (0171 485 9006) Warm Jets, Idlewild - London ULU Bluetones, Regular Fries - London Shepherds Bush Empire (0171 287 1331) Fluke - London Holloway Rocket Fu Manchu - London Garage (0171 607 1818) “Jackpot” - London Subterania (0181 960 4590) Semi Junction, Waif, Jerc - Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) My Life Story, Drugstore, Inter, Twister, Glitterbox - Farnham Maltings (01252 726234)
Cineline - (01483) 578017
Friday 27th/Sat 28th March
Titanic 12:15, 13:00, 16:20, 17:05, 20:30, 21:20 As Good as it Gets 12:25, 15:25, 18:30, 21:40 Good Will Hunting 12:50, 15:40, 18:35, 21:30 L.A. Confidential Fri: 12:00, 15:00, 18:10, 21:20 Sat: 18:10, 21:20 The Man in the Iron Mask 12:55, 15:55, 18:55, 22:00 Gattaca 14:30, 16:55, 19:20, 21:50 Kiss the Girls Fri: 13:00, 16:15, 19:20, 22:10 Sat: 16:15, 19:20, 22:10 Fallen 14:00 (Fri only), 16:45, 19:30, 22:20 Flubber 13:00, 15:15 Fairytale 12:15, 14:30 Paws 12:05, 14:10 George of the Jungle 12:30
Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 1st 28th 27th 2nd 3rd 4th 29th 31st 30th
21.30 Father Ted 23.05 The Adam and Joe Show
NB The band Jacobs Tale have announced their first London date at the Mean Fiddler in Harlesden on Thursday 9th of April 1998. To make it easier to get along a coach will be provided to ferry people there and back. The ticket price will be £4.00 if you obtain a discount flyer before the gig. You can obtain the tickets by contacting Jacobs Tale on 01252 – 819019 or e-mail at ‘JTale@aol.com’. There will be 3 other bands in the line-up, the doors open at 8.00pm and close at 2.00am, this is also the Thursday before Good Friday so you don’t even have to get up in the morning.
20.00 Before They Were Famous 15.40 F1: Grand Prix Qualifying 18.00 FILM: Dumb and Dumber
For food and bar opening times, see main advertisement on page 10 For Sports / Fitness information, see Campusport notice on page 12
Also, BARE FACTS has will have free tickets available for preview screening of Great Expectations at the Guildford Odeon on 15th April. Contact us before 8th April for details
University closure week (when all University buildings and services will be closed) Thursday 9th - Wednesday 15th April inclusive
Nothing decent - watch the Grand Prix
16.20 F1: Grand Prix 22.00 The Clive James Show
20.30 Goodnight Sweetheart 23.25 Film 98
18.00 The Simpsons
Artificial Joy Club - London Borderline (0171 734 2095) Myst, Gecko, Calhouns Cat Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116)
Sun 29th March Thurs 2nd April
Titanic 11:15 (Mon-Thurs only), 14:00, 15:20, 19:00, 19:25 As Good as it Gets 12:30, 17:00, 20:10 Good Will Hunting 12:10, 14:55, 17:40, 20:30 L.A. Confidential 13:15 (Mon-Thurs only), 17:15, 20:10 The Man in the Iron Mask 13:00, 17:20, 20:20 Gattaca 12:05 (mon-thurs only), 14:30, 18:20, 20:50 Kiss the Girls 12:15, 13:15 (Mon-Thurs only), 18:00, 20:40 Fallen 12:10, 15:00 (Mon - Thurs only), 17:45, 20:30 Flubber (Sun only) 12:30, 14:40 Fairytale (Sun only) 12:45, 15:00 Paws (Sun only) 12:15, 14:05 George of the Jungle (Sun only) 12:20
Easter Holiday - no Entertainments at the Union
21.30 One Foot in the Grave 18.00 Fresh Prince of Bel Air 21.00 The Sweeney
Bernard Butler - London Upstairs At The Garage (0171 607 1818) Zed’s Ded, Joda, Caffeine Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116)
21.30 The Thin Blue Line 22.00 FILM: Timecop 18.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 22.00 Room 101
PICK OF THE WEEK
The Pecadiloes, Jolt, Satellite Beach - London Camden Dingwalls
Daybreak, Wake, Chayse - Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116)
20.00 Animal Hospital 20.30 2point4 Children 22.25 The Mrs Merton Show 21.00 Steptoe and Son
LK - London Garage (0171 607 1818) Senser, Sons Of Tribe, Entropy Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) The Smiles - London Camden Barfly (0171 482 4808)
20.00 Only Fools and Horses
21.00 Blackadder II 18.00 TFI Friday 21.30 Father Ted
Echo And The Bunnymen, Rialto London Brixton Academy (0171 264 1525) Leatherface, Moke, Speedurchin Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) Sniper, Nightnurse, Mouthfull London Kings Cross Water Rats (0171 837 7269)
Finitribe - London ICA “Jackpot” - London Subterania (0181 960 4590) Libido, Ballroom, Glitterbox - London Garage (0171 607 1818) Natia Blue, Pinnacle - Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) Twister - London Camden Dublin Castle (0171 485 1773)
16.40 TOTP 2
Oscar will be hibernating over Easter
20.00 Stars in Their Eyes
09.30 Knight Rider
Thursday 26th March 1998 n
Spititualized, Guildford Civic Hall, Thursday 19 March 1998. Review - Daniel Jones
jam packed Civic Hall, sporting a male dominated, occasionally cool looking audience waits for Spiritualized. They admire the stage with the ‘pillbox’ backdrop and sundry columns, supporting devices that will provide the light show. It is a wonderful sight even before it is filled with the visual and sonic flair of a band, Jason Pierce (head astronaut) describes as people who “want to make music on a more basic, more soulful level”. It seems with tonight’s experience, for it is more an experience than a show, that they are aiming at a stratospheric level. Despite the usual slow start and even before ‘Electricity’, there is a charge on the stage. Heads are fixated. And as ‘Electricity’ rings out there is a dazzling array of pulsating lights. The four men on stage - guitars/bass/sax stand tall and motionless carving the slow orchestral, and in this case palpitating tunes. A few heads begin to nod in time and one couple partake in a spot of loosely ballroom style dancing. Others merely close their eyes, absorbing the dreamscape of reverberating noise. With ‘Home Of The Brave’ the sound swarms all over as if
Film review: Gattaca
n recent times the moral argument as to whether we should be able to manipulate the sex of our future offspring has caused only a ripple of controversy, as no one really knows exactly where it will all lead. Thurman, who many of us believe is one of an elite class. An open-minded audience can really becomes sucked into this futuristic atmosphere Niccol generates with such ease. A world of sparsely populated cities and squeaky clean offices, this is not a film with flashing lights and fancy effects, not at all. In fact I should imagine the budget of this film would barely have covered one of Titanics’ lifeboats. Nevertheless the yellow/green camera filters and classic style electric cars do not distract you away from the plot and the message being delivered by the film, but adds to it’s overall genre. The film has a good story, a healthy portion of suspense and real substance if one is willing to look. In conclusion, not a ‘wham bam thank you mam’ movie. But if you liked films like ‘Fahrenheit 451’ and ‘1984’ you’ll appreciate this thought provoking Sci-Fi movie. A solid, recommended 8/10 by me and a 9/10 by Matty P. (Yes, it deserves 9/10. Kam’s just being tight. It’s thought provoking if you like that kind of thing, and if you’re not in the mood you can just enjoy the splendid design and beautiful photography. It’s 1984 for the 1990’s. This film will inspire you. -Ed)
Andrew Niccol’s Gattaca takes this premise and grips it firmly by the throat. With excellent cinematography, the likes of which I haven’t seen since George Orwell’s 1984, Gattaca creates a future world obsessed with our genetic makeup, where a ‘Valid’, someone who is genetically engineered, holds a higher position in society then that of an ‘invalid’ spawned from mother nature. The story follows Ethan Hawke (Reality Bites, Great Expectations ) as Vincent, an Invalid with a lifelong dream to travel into space, a privilege bestowed only upon Valids. However with this burning ambition to fulfil his dream he undertakes the huge task of adopting the life of a Valid named Jerome. This new identity is not easy to achieve in a world where a single stand of hair can give you away to the authorities. As his launch date draws closer, a murder poses to jeopardise Vincent’s dream, along with a dangerous liaison with a Valid, Irene Cassini, adequately played by Uma
it were coming from every crack in the building. The visuals are ever more awesome as frantic strobes give way to pretty lights dancing on the ceiling. ‘Come Together’ acts as a call to arms, as indeed it is. People wake up from the outer body experiences, some jig and many embrace as if they were in the middle of an out of control religious awakening. There is always a droning background sound. Perhaps this is the spacecraft
Spiritualized arrived in. I’ve not personally seen one but taking X-Files as a reference point, the visual effect more and more resembles an alien landing. And sounds like one. The bass pounds, pressing skin firmly against bones - tortured souls are surely venting despair in the most uplifting way possible. It’s like you’ve been in a big dream, literally like you have been floating in space somewhere. And you’re not sure if it has really happened.
With Cold, London Garage, Thursday 19 March 1998. Review - Kevin Marston.
sold out venue, and still a queue of people trying to buy tickets, why? because they are about to miss one the most promising new comers to the skate/ska scene, Cold and one of the most rocking Scandinavian band ever. Bullyrag were supposed to be on first but due to band illnesses and things, they didn’t play so it was left to Cold to warm up the crowd. About 9 o’clock one hell of a weird guy with tuffs of bleached tipped hair walks onto the stage and takes control of the drums, while the rest of Cold venture out. And its not just the drummer who is weird, but the guitarist is totally spaced out with an impression that he’s one of the most coolest players ever. Is he?, well no, the performance is very average. Nothing outstanding at all, all the words are indistinguishable except for the occasional fucking fuck fuck something. But some of the crowd seem to love it. Before the final song the vocalist decides to invite as many stage divers on the stage as possible, which led to an explosive array acrobatics by the crowd. A quarter of an hour later Clawfinger embarked on their dark and fiery journey. Once the first few chords of ‘I’m Your Life And Religion’ from their new album are played, the mosh begins in full earnest with the stage being invaded constantly. About every ten seconds or so there would be another body hurtling through the air, even when they played ‘Don’t Wake Me Up’ a relatively slow track. Which Zak ( the vocalist) remarked at. The next song tonight was ‘Undone’ which again was just mad, they played other classics like ‘Warfair’, and ‘Pin
Theatre review: The Tempest
Questors Theatre - 6th March
Mary Elizabeth Phillips
After a huge storm and shipwreck men of the courts of Naples and Milan are lured away into a world of illusion always led by strange powers which they cannot resist. Prospero (the rightful Duke of Milan) having on his side Ariel (the spirit of illusion) is able to manipulate the circumstances and teach the rest a good lesson from which he’ll receive wisdom. Interpretations of “The Tempest”, as many have put it, can be very much influenced by the particular background of the interpreter and that’s mainly due to the fact that Shakespeare has used the device of allegory a lot, once again. Some see this play as a focus on theatrical art, others think that it has to do with the analysis of political issues and especially those relevant to the oppression of the inhabitants of the ‘new’ world.
Me Down’. The last one received one hell of a cheer and the biggest mosh of the night. It was just a full aural assault on the brain. A totally buzzing night and with quotes like ‘ you lot are insane’ and ‘come on Barbie... lets go party’ what more could you ask for. Well, Jocke deciding to play the guitar and the bass instead of mixing the decks and the DAT. But then again there was a good reason for the bass though and that was because the bassist decided to go stage diving. Brilliant.
who played Miranda (the daughter of Prospero) and Tomos Lewis who played Ariel (the spirit) astounded me with their professionalism and excellent acting. However, there were a few faults which showed lack of professionalism amongst some of the actors; how many unconscious and ‘frozen’ people would fiddle with their fingers, look around in the audience and pull up their socks? The dancing in the play was poor; the whole choreography was lacking creativity and although the dancers were children they seemed to be unexcited to perform and create. As far as the theatre is concerned the stage was below the audience (similar to the ancient Greek theatre) and that created a different atmosphere to the conventional theatre stages as it enhanced the performer audience relationship. If any of you are interested in going and seeing a performance at the Questors Theatre, called the Gati (Passage of Time) which is performed by the Theatre of Bangalore (the most vibrant English Theatre of any city in India) there are some tickets which you can get for free for the performances from the 21st to the 27th March. All you have to do is dial 0181 5670011 and ask for it!
The cast of this play was made up of people who had auditioned and been chosen by the theatre. Bearing in mind that they were only amateurs performing for pleasure and that they only had two months to prepare, the production was good. In general the acting was the thing that made the performance interesting and people such as Gerry O’Sullivan who played the role of Caliban (a savage and deformed slave), Kate Davie
Thursday 26th March1998
Notices & Personals
nPaddington, the best shag in months not years, I haven’t got to that stage, unlike you. love nKrust 2. Helen 13. The gap is getting longer. nHelen. You and Jon are wearing the same sweaters AGAIN. (Paddington) nKrustie. Why is it that you have that name? should I mention Paddington Madam nAndy don’t be a custard, be a tart! nLiz. I lurve those stockings.from Jokerface nRobocop. Doesn’t ALL that gel damage your circuits? nAndy-JD wants his Y-fronts back ASAP nJavier has lovely hands Helen nThe Ginger Fox is thinking of having vegetarian for supper tonight. nthe more i think, the more worrying i get nRaf ( not to mention other Tonmeisters) have finally got it in - that’ll be a relief for the rest of us. nWhatever did happen to the chicken in Cathedral court nNav aka Lumbhoo...Janamdin Mubarak!! From a friend!!! nHarri stop lying about how many people u have had sex with!!!!! nTina A....How many blokes fancy u now?????? nHUGE Thanks to all the silly crew for an excellent Wednesday the fees anarchists” n“Swpitwist” nUnless you have already found someone for this, then I’m yer man. nHandy tip: Don’t bother with the new series of “Telly Addicts”. It’s getting far too easy... nHas Kostis’ friend found who was watching him that night? ‘cos I know who it is!! nMark would never even consider being unfaithful!! nHelen, I told you, I haven’t got anything to say to you!! nThanks for an excellent night out lads, Guernsey. nAlix - Make Helen confess about the chicken remarque! nS: Thanks for a “wicked” weekend! nBoy oh boy are you guys getting fussy! My real name is not actually Buz nRUSSIAN SOCIETY!!! Good job, I am proud of you. Your president. nA.K. Are you accepting K. airlines flight offer? Let me know, limited places available... LOVE, K.A nAnyone know how Rainman ends? Nice one Han. nHappy Birthday to 3A’s sexy thing, are we going for it large on Friday? nSTOP banging on the pipes! How can Richard suck it off the table when he can’t get it in his mouth.? nHappy Birthday Hazel and thank you for being there and listening in the last few weeks, I really appreciate it, Helen. nEver thought of locking your room door - otherwise the pink elephants and green monster might get you. Beer fest per chance!!!! nASWANI... get a life, get some friends!!!!!! nTINA A.... stop exaggerating about how many guys are after u! nGorgeous Navdeep........did anyone tell u how sexy u looked last Friday???!! nShagun babe, can we get together some time??? - Monday, 7-30, Chancellor’s. Your Ultimate Fantasy. nRLB: Rumours are that he’s leaving. Is this the end? nFancy a pitstop Sarah? Hey P R Groves we know who you are PENNY and you’d better start sleeping with one eye open. nHi Jainge - I Easter Egg you. nJames (I love Eddie) - looks like you have more then one fan!!!!! nLegian, friends forever. nGorgeous...I’ll still beat you naked at seventy! Lover. XXX nKMW - what would I do without you?!? nThere’s more to life than an old boyfriend and a part time job nLOST: One black Scully type mackintosh with bright red lining (lost three weeks ago). If found please G I V E I T B A C K because I’m getting cold and wet!!!! (Ring ext 4951, room 2 if you have seen it). nWill the Cath Court Metal Man please *grow up* and leave poor, sweet, innocent Dexter alone. You are corrupting the poor lad. nWhat’s it like to be 22 Rob (old man now eh!!) The ‘gathering’ was fun -thanks! nMike-I’m gonna boil your bunny-Helen nRolf Harris is Innocent! Smack my Fortran Up! nDid the Ginger Fox use baby oil after swimming recently? nH - “The bunion, where you shag on a Saturday!” nH - “But I’ve got R - no I mean in the sense of playing with him!” Fred’s not fat, he’s not ugly, but he is cute and cuddly nSo coke and guiness are just the same are they Steve? nCongratulations to everyone in the Jiu Jitsu club who graded. nRUSSIAN SOCIETY!!! Good job, I am proud of you. Your president. nHarold. How are you, my son? yours Victor nHappy 22nd birthday little Jo. Vick nJess. Lab’s pants isn’t it nnice one SURREY MOUNTAINBIKE TEAM, Bronze this year Gold next. Chaz nTo miss ‘do diamonds’ - thanks. Pierre de Mintfart, you ave gin din zee ill wizz zee trollaie yes, no? nHAPPY BIRTHDAY little JO, SEE YOU AT YOUR PARTY, nLots of Big balloons, Hann & Vick xxxxx nLooking forward to the relaxation area nLocal lass seeks budding amateur photographer for insight into Guildford tours for AGM candidates nI Easter Egg you Buz Lightyear, lots of Galaxies, Tinkerbell xxx nFlick, floor fly flavour flov fle flunth, Fluv Flan nLizzie & I-Tie...it’s about time you came out of the closet, we all know what you two are like!!! nI love you darling. Happy 6 months on the 9th nMev - The people who put the two personals in last week’s Barefacts are really sorry that stupid others have taken it seriously. n55 Denzil Road - is the Palace ours? nSports Officer will pay cash for pictorial evidence (photos or sketch) of supermarket shennanigans with experienced ball-handler nJohnnie Boy is in ATLANTA!! Keep an eye on CNN! nIt’s cold but it’s somewhere to sleep, the creaky noises make my skin creep-I need to get some sleep nHappy Birthday Jane - Sorry I can’t be there, I’ll have a drink for you! Prof Johnson R. II Jr nJohnnie Boy is in ATLANTA!! nKeep an eye on CNN! nIt’s cold but it’s somewhere to sleep, the creaky noises make my skin creep-I need to get some sleep nHappy Birthday Jane - Sorry I can’t be there, I’ll have a drink for you! Prof Johnson R. II Jr nWiiiiiil!!!!! nMatt - all you need is a bum chin! Where’s my biro...... nMystic Matt - Spoooooky!!!! nOLIVER, VENTE YA PARA ESPANYA!!!! nNos vemos el 5 de abril, olrait? nANDY FROM SPIERS: Need any more lessons? nYou are the ants’ pants Simon... nGreenfingered Ab cultures Ferns! nKate on Rich 3- I forgot your surname, but just to say, I’m on sound crew, and I like you. nRuth- don’t worry, we’re a party of five, remember? nSunday afternoons, 3-5, GCR. nSingle Uncle looks for close friendship with lady for fun and great times.Must live around Kingston. nKaty, as if I’d have sent a personal like that! There’s far too many Katy’s here. UD nTo Miss R-B, hope your work is going well and that you’re getting your sleep. Mr Smelly Belly. nAndy from Croydon, ‘your the man!’ nCarshalton or Sherley, which was worse? nSo Claires not involved in your threesome fantasy! nOI!!!!!! EVERYONE....... nNEIL GOT GINGERED!!!!!!! nDAN & CO nCONGRATS ON GETTING YOUR DREAM HOUSE! nCAN I LIVE THERE RENT FREE????? nYang Yang..are you happy that I have repaired your chain now!!?? nDo I know what is going on? I don’t think so! nmmmmmmmmm, nice arse! n Hey bignose hows the golf driver running? n OH NOse!!!! n Its Da BOMB!!! n Nevermind Kate, better luck next Friday. n Why was the DJ for the Acid Jazz SHAG not told that it was acid jazz before he arrived?? n It’s not just the bruises on my arm, I’m hurt deep inside as well. n Ruth- you should have done a solo, you know you should.I will help you do one next time. n Why was the DJ for the Acid Jazz SHAG not told that it was acid jazz before he arrived?? n It’s not just the bruises on my arm, I’m hurt deep inside as well. n Ruth- you should have done a solo, you know you should.I will help you do one next time. n So Duncan have you managed to find it yet? Did she give you a bung in a brown envelope? n Arent rugby shirts cool.. especially when they are free..... n Lost several saturdays last seen in Astolat...... n Mister :- Isn’t it my turn to ‘honk’ you !?! n First prize to politically correct Green Shirt Man n Rootjoose :Fwoooooooooarrrgh! n Dave or Housewife? I fail to see where the difficulty was in choosing the better band. n KATE IN RICH 3 - I’m sorry I missed you tonight. Why were you with that weirdo with nail varnish?? n Housewife- We love you loads and loads From S and K xx n We could always tie dye that green shirt of yours!!!! n Acid Jazz... Hmmm I don’t think so. n Judges-how much German lager did you have?? n um,err,um,um,errrr,umm nToo much 80’s waa waa???????? n Halifax Town 2-0 Rushden & Diamonds. The Shaymen march towards the title. n And it snows in Heaven... n International Marketing bloke: no-one likes you n LOU IN TWYFORD C!!!!! How many boys have you pulled now during FNO? I’ve lost count!! n ANITA B!!! YEAH YOU!!! COME TO BIOSOC’S LAST EVENT OR I’LL CRY. n PISSED-SHIT PLEASE SEND SOME PHOTO’S HOME- WE CAN’T REMEBER WHAT U LOOK LIKE. LOVE FROM THE SHITS n WOOAHHHH DONS- C’MON BABY LIGHT MY FIRE! FROM *TOYBOY* n All at 89 GPR, the years nearly finished, cheers for an interesting one. n Elo......anybody home??!! nPenis’s come into everything.” three guesses who said it..! nI don’t know what it is!” “same as it is in French! nI knew he would get it when he got erection....who was Helen talking about? The question is was it as good as she said? nit’s a fruit salad monster eating a daisy in the mouth of a certain pink cow!! nWould you like your pinger felt by a certain young lady in Cath court? nIt would be cold and hard unless you hold it in your hands long enough to warm it up a bit nWatch out Ascot .. Weyside Birds are on the way!!! n Those Weyside Birds who work in the Firkin need to be a little more n fussy!!! n Marc .. What’s your name again??!!! n So Marc .. she’s named it Robert has she!!! n Phil V...can I rent your furnished shed? n A.Tiger Ouch. n Dunky, Big Issue=Big munt points n Which johhny boy will the lepracorn choose on friday? n Robocop, does the Joker know your screwing Liz? n Linda, Alex and Garry. Thanks for making this special trip home extra n special. I love you all. Hxx Last, but by no means least, Nikki. A very special thank you for your time, honesty and patience. I meant what I said. Forever friends. L.A. n Hxxx suffer from embarasing nipple hairs? call J for reassurance. n sorry about your nipple hair, love shitbags n the cause of yellow knickers everywhere is VD! n Alix wants to tie him up under the bed, and jump on him - poor thing! n Sorry Jo, but we have to ask: was it a carpet burn????? n Mat, Oh sorry, have you just come?! n A carpet burn.... How ironic!! Aaa!!! n What have Sam and a tampon got in common??! n DD or is that your bra size!! n Del-alcohol affects your performance in telephone boxes!
Bare Facts wants your Easter stories, letters and personals. Email them from university or home to Barefacts@surrey.ac.uk The office and darkroom facilities will be open through most of the holiday for photography, dissertation writing, etc. Please ring to check first. Korean Society AGM, 27 March 6pm Wates House. Contact Young-Tae Cho 236149 Reminder to all Final Year Economists: Please return yearbook forms before the end of week 10. WINDSURFING CLUB. Windsurfing tops for sale £32.50, mostly navy blue, some other colours available. Contact Adam, ext. 4241, cv42ab or via the windsurfing pigeon thole. We still meet every Friday at 1pm upstairs in the Union. All abilities welcome. Anyone interested in doing the RYA level one beginners course after Easter, please contact Adam (above). Room available in student house off Northway about 15 mins from campus. Rent £195 pcm until July All mod cons, newly refurbished etc. Phone (01483) 504629 Have you got a parent suffering from mental illness? Would you be willing to help me with some research into the experiences of young people like yourself? If so, I would like to talk to you, IN COMPLETE CONFIDENCE, about what life has been like at home, and what has helped you to cope. Please telephone Stella Charman on 01420 487924 Decriminalise Cannabis March. Sat 28th March, assemble Midday at the reformer’s tree in Hyde Park, for march to Trafalgar Square. Keep ‘em peeled for more details. Fancy a bit of International Rugby after the exams? The Sanyo Cup at Twickenham will feature the star-studded World XV versus 1998 English Club Champions on Sat 23rd May (end wk 14) Tickets £20 or £26 including transport. Contact Alex Langley, ext 4739, Email cv31al Graduation photos Are you graduating this year? Do you want a photo the moment of presentation of your degree (i.e.you actually getting your certificate.) Other photos are taken anyway, so would this be too intrusive? Please Email your views to the Union President (su-pres) or fill in a Union suggestion slip. Room Available next year. House on Canterbury Road, 15 mins walk. All mod cons. £48 per week plus bills. Will be sharing with three girls. Phone Antonia x4358 or Claire x4219. 2 rooms to rent in Guildford Park Avenue House, for summer period through to September. Ring 01483 833276 for details. Badminton Club AGM, Tuesday week 14 (28th April), Grant Mitchell Room, 7pm. Netgamer AGM, 29th April, 7:30 LTB Email firstname.lastname@example.org ChemEngSoc AGM is to be held on wednessday the sixth of May (Week 12) at 13:00 to 14:00, in LTL University Swimmers. There will be no swimming 9-10pm at the Spectrum on May 11th. Women’s Waterpolo AGM - Friday 1st May, 5pm, Grant Mitchell Room. American Football AGM, 5th May 18:30 (after Sports Standing C/tee) LTE
Thursday 26th March 1998 n
Silly night: stupidity to continue after Easter
nce more unto the breach, dear fiends, as someone famouse once said. I think it was the big one out of The Krankies. Have we got big flans for the last three Silly Nights after Easter? Oh, yes. your double & mixer for £1. Week 13? It’s Space, the final frontier...again. We’ve got the new Star Wars trilogy on the big screens. You know the veal, make a space ship, brig a phaser, a cardboard cut-out storm trooper, dress as Darth Vader. Whatever. And remember you’ll need to make the effort otherwise you’ll not get your dog & bone for £1. But the nub, some say crux, the jewel of the-bitafter-Easter, is Week 15. It’s Blind Drunk Date. Silly Night plays match maker (minty ones). Find your partner in the onion for your double & mixer. Plus ‘our’ Cilla will be on had to see which lucky lass gets to go home with... And remember you’ll need to...do what? Have a Happy Easter, if not a Little Chef will do. See you there.
Week 11, or 29th April, as some people will have it, it’s the one we’ve all been waiting for, it’s....BEACH WEAR. So, when you go home for Easter raid your grannies’ cupbard for those sexy 1930’s cosines. And that’s just for the boys. And if you can’t face going to Blow’s afterwards in shirts and Hawaiian shorts, then a bucket and spade will do. To get you in the mood we’re going to have palm trees, hula (hoop) competition, and Shy Coconuts. Find the coconuts for a FREE drink. And remember you’ll need to make the effort otherwise you’ll not get
Graduation Ball plans near completion
used by the graduates.
Graduation Ball 1998 Budget
Income Ticket Sales Ticket Income Sponsorship Commission Outgoing Essentials Insurance Security Fencing Power Trackway Structures Stage Domes Marquees Forklift/Truck Trussing/Motors Barrier Scaffolding Decoration Lights Sound Blackout Bannerama Sofas Stairs Carpeting Entertainment Main Band Support DJ’s Funfair Mini Golf Magician Photos/Tattoos Jazz Band Casino Balloon Man Double Six Club Fireworks Compere Band Riders Other Advertising Programmes Tickets Crew Costs Contingency TOTAL 1000 £42,553 £200 £0 £42,753 1500 £63,830 £200 £0 £64,030
Why is it on campus? Rumours have been travelling regarding grad ball being at Thorpe Park. We did look into this, as well as other places like Loseley Park, Chessington, Clandon Park and many other locations. None of them were willing to let us run a ball through until 6am on their grounds. Why are we not having any guest DJ’s? Our beloved Friday and Saturday DJ’s will all play for less than £1000 for the three of them whilst Dave Pearce would charge us £1500 to play for an hour, similarly, Mark Goodier is £3000 for an hour, and Pete Tong costs even more. We believe that we can obtain better value for money by spending that amount on entertainment that lasts for longer than an hour. The funfair is always great, but will the Union be naff? The Union building is a notoriously difficult venue to attempt to make look different. Drapes and banners for the walls and ceiling are very expensive. We will be trying to fit in as many different side acts and entertainment’s as we can so that it is not just another Friday night out disco for 6 hours. We are limited by the number of areas where we can place the side acts and entertainment’s as each area used for such a purpose cannot therefore be Why are the tickets £50? Where does it all go? The basic necessities like power, marquees, sound lights, security, fences, etc. take up a large chunk of the money, as does the allocation of ticket money towards food. The other big expenses are the drapes for the Union and the cost of the bands and their associated extras (food, drink, etc.). The budget shown here lays out total costing (before VAT) for both 1000 tickets sold, and 1500 tickets sold. Going by previous years sales, only 1000 tickets are normally sold. As more tickets are sold we will confirm the booking of all the extras that appear on the budget for 1500 tickets being sold. Where can I stay? Local hotels, campus (See advertisment earlier in this issue). So what entertainments will there actually be on the night? This is a listing of all the suggested entertainments that we could feasibly provide, although we could only provide all of them if all 1500 tickets are sold. Does the Union Club intend to make any profit on the Grad Ball? To quote the previous General Manager of the Students Union, “The graduation ball is a service that the Union Club provides the students as a memorable and fitting occasion to
complement their graduation and the end of three or four (or more) years spent studying here and using the Students Union”. Therefore it is intended the that Union Club does not make a loss, but all ticket money received WILL be spent on entertainment or infrastructure for the ball. Where do I get my ticket? Tickets will be available from Union reception from Monday of week 11 after Easter. We hope that the event programmes will also be available then and will be given out with your tickets. You will then be able to plan your evening before the ball and ensure that you know where all the entertainments will be, and when they will be occurring so that you do not miss out on anything.
£500 £900 £496 £1,000 £825 £4,635 £2,800 £2,000 £600 £1,200 £400 £60 £2,060 £500 £2,500 £800 £0 £100 £0 £7,500 £1,000 £750 £6,000 £0 £0 £1,000 £100 £900 £0 £0 £0 £0 £500 £122 £1,180 £400 £500 £1,425 £42,753
£500 £900 £496 £1,000 £825 £4,635 £2,800 £4,000 £600 £1,200 £400 £60 £3,400 £900 £9,450 £1,000 £2,200 £100 £2,000 £7,500 £1,000 £750 £7,000 £800 £250 £1,000 £250 £900 £150 £1,000 £1,602 £200 £500 £300 £1,180 £400 £800 £1,982 £64,030
Thursday 26th March 1998
Dr Russ replies
Dear Russ Is it really worth writing speculatively to an employer, surely they’d advertise the job if they wanted someone badly enough? Dear Mustapha There is a lot of truth in what you say, and that’s why it’s so important to keep a watchful eye on advertised vacancies. Unfortunately, you can’t guarantee you will spot the advertisement when it does come out, so writing ‘on spec’ at least gives you a chance to be considered for something you might otherwise have missed. There are two other very good reasons for writing out of the blue. First of all, it can be pretty expensive to advertise a job and employers wouldn’t waste their money if they had sufficient speculative applications sitting on their desks. Secondly, it really works, as 7% of University of Surrey graduates found last year. In case you’re interested, I’ll run through the accepted procedure for writing on spec. Most people send a curriculum vitae and a covering letter. The letter would typically be four paragraphs - who you are, why you are writing, what particular skills and experience you have to offer and a closing paragraph to say how much you’d value having an opportunity to discuss your application with them. We have an example in the Careers Service if you would like to come in and pick up a copy. You may, of course, feel a bit stuck in trying to decide who to apply to. If that is the case, you’d probably find it helpful to use some of the employer directories we carry. You could use something like Prospects Directory ’98 to identify all the major employers of graduates or you could use a directory such as KOMPASS to locate all the employers who operate in very specialist areas such as nuclear instrumentation manufacture or the production of automotive components. We also have local employer lists for most parts of the country. The more you move off the beaten track, by the way, the greater your chances of unearthing a vacancy which no-one else has found. So I would encourage you to try writing speculatively. You might end up with piles of rejection letters or even no responses at all, but then you might just discover a nugget of a job which gets your career off to a brilliant start.
Canoe club gets competitive
‘Fraggle’ Canoe Club Captain
or the fist time in living memory, even that of granddad Brewer, canoe entered a competition. The 3rd British Universities playboating competition at Teesside White Water centre. A depleted squad of four left with a gush of tears from Haggis’ bird, cheers Lou, it touched the heart strings of us all. Excuses for not attending ranged from lack of rucksacks for kit, broken hand, to ‘bloke doesn’t paddle so neither do I now’, but hey, meant more bus and tent space for the rest of us.
Russ Clark Careers Service
Crossword No. 70
After the rather long bus journey up north, we hit the organised Friday night party and started on the Diesels, trying to forget about the 8am start. Morning broke with a hangover, closely followed by Wacky-races to the course for the first event, the river running to sort the spods for the boaters. This involved paddling the course while completing various manoeuvres such as rolls, surfs and throwing paddles through hoops. Due to hangovers and any other excuse we could think of, we did pants, but did all make the first 50% cut out of 200 paddlers. We got grouped into random categories of Haggis & Tricky ‘taking it easy’, Fraggle ‘trying slightly’ and Steve “I am a surrey student honest” in the group labelled ‘dogsbollix’. The groups were then weeded down in the quarter’s and semi’s by performing top quality playboating moves on the stoppers such as paddle spins, rail grabs, flat
spins and just generally looking damn good. Haggis included capsizing in this category as well, bad show! Finally the 8 finalists were announced with Haggis, Fraggle and Steve making their finals, and Tricky reaching the semi’s. With the morning tide used up, we wacky raced to the beach for some sun and surf, with several other uni’s and proceded to terrorise the local surfer types on some gorgeous vertical green waves. The evening tide was used to hold the infamous Topo duo event (double kayak) this always ends in carnage with as many boats in the hole as possible with much deck pulling and cheating taking place. Surrey (Haggis and Steve) finished 2nd after being narrowly beaten by Bangor uni, who pulled their decks and mooned at the judges. Saturday night, involved more drinking and the unfortunate eating of a rather dodgy kebab, which tried to escape several times the following day. The finals held on the Sunday were tough and finally saw Haggis and Fraggle 5th in their finals while Steve, beat several members of the British squad to achieve a good 3rd in a terrible hole, which wouldn’t allow verticals let alone cartwheels. With paddlers being drowned, bending paddles, cracking helmets and generally looking worried, it was not looking good for us mere mortal paddlers who were on next. Surrey competed against the best Britain could offer (and some French bloke). We’ll be back next year in north Wales, to win events this time and not loose to mooning from Bangor uni. Congrats to Skinny and the rest of the BMX club for uni championship results.
Trampoline agents hit Bath
arch 7th 1998, 2pm, Surrey Students Union
for communal back massages, though some took a little longer than others. March 8th 1998 8am (yes that time actually does exist) Special agents were woken up, washed dressed, and fed, and on their way to the sports hall. The first round was an eventful one, with Caz and Lue both finding 9’s for their routines, and lying in =1sta and 3rd respectively and Tweety Toes lying 4th., there was a small catastrophe in the novices, when Posh decided to make his routine look a little less Posh than usual. The second round saw brilliant routines from our Novices, particularly Pizza Monster who fought her way to 25th place, closely followed by Baby and Posh in 33rd and 34th respectively. So onto the final for our brave special agents Caz, Lue and Tweety Toes. I say brave because the final was done so that each individual jumped alone so every one could watch, - you mean people watch these things? After some splendid trampolining, Caz lead our secret agents in 2nd place with Lue close at her heals in 6th, and Tweety pulled his socks up and held onto his 9th place position in what is to be his last BUSA competition, Ahh we are going to miss you Tweety. So Mission accomplished and the secret agents return to base, the only mystery that remains unsolved is what happened to the Apple Danish ?
Special agents meet to discuss mission. First aim to find our transportation vessel “What was the registration number again?” Our course was set for the far out reach of the town of Bath. The journey though long was uneventful (apart from Lue feeling travel sick before we left campus). Later that day Arrive at Bath university. Found trampolines. Lue is happy rabbit because the trampolines are sexy, and after an hour and a half, finally gets on and practices her routine. Much insecurity from other special agents “I shouldn’t be here I’m not good enough” so having convinced good routines out of them, and persuaded Tweety toes to point his toes, and Posh spice to keep his legs together we headed off to find our resting place for the night, the YMCA!!!!!! This is where the navigational skill of our team failed, as we got lost on the way out of the building, and ended up on the wrong side of Campus. 8pm That Evening The Pizza Monster was getting a little peckish so Pint of cider navigated us to “Pizza Express” before nipping off for a quickie (pint that is) with Posh Spice. We then got the Beers in, or at least Tweety toes, Pint of Cider and Posh Spice did, before returning to the YMCA
Down 1. Blemish (6) 2. A scolding woman (5) 3. Revolve rapidly (5) 5. Unbeliever (7) 6. Newly-enlisted person (7) 7. End of a rugger game (2-4) 9. Children’s outdoor game (3-6) 14. Something that’s offensive to look at (7) 15. Climbing plant-organ (7) 16. Aromatic vegetable substances (6) 17. Grating (6) 20. Wigwam (5) 21. A Long sentence (5)
Across 1. Repudiate (6) 2. Lemon-like-fruit (6) 8. Polish up (7) 10. Central point (5) 11. Species of primrose (7) 12. Ancient Celtic priest (5) 13. Make expressive body movements (11) 18. Trim with the beak (5) 19. Nominal (7) 22. Singing group (5) 23. Optimistic (7) 24. Inflexibly hard (6) 25. Unit of temperature (6)
Solution to Crossword no. 69 Across: 1.ripen 4.parasol 8.fan-tail 9.moist 10.lair 11.meanness 13.safest 14.stupor 18.mandrill 20.ling 22.raven 23.janitor 24.Harlech 25.Pairs Down: 1.raffles 2.pontiff 3.neat 4.pullet 5.ruminate 6.Seine 7.lotus 12.estrange 15.pointer 16.regards 17.Elijah 18.mirth 19.never 21.snip
Crossword compiled by Jeff Blackham
Thursday 26th March 1998 n
Campusport wish you all a very energising Easter break and for those of you who are remaining on campus or in the Guildford area, we are running a shortened programme of activities. These will all take place at the Sports Centre unless specified otherwise. - Mondays (30th March, 6th & 20th April) 6.00 p.m. Aerobics with Danny - Tuesdays (31st March, 7th & 21st April) 7.00 a.m. Early Morning Fitness; 1.00 p.m. Lunch Time Aerobics; 1.10 p.m. Lunch Time Stretch (in the Dance Department Studio); 6.00 p.m. Circuit Training. - Wednesdays (1st, 8th & 22nd April)- 1.00 p.m. Tone to the Bone - Thursdays (2nd, 16th & 23rd April) - 6.30 p.m. Legs, Bums & Tums - Fridays (3rd, 17th & 24th April) - 7.00 a.m. Early Morning Fitness All other facilities at both the Sports Centre and Varsity Centre will remain available (badminton, squash, tennis, ATP etc.) although during the week 9th April - 15th April, opening times will be variable. All details are available from the Sports Centre and the new brochures for a fuller summer programme beginning on Monday 27th April will be ready shortly.
1998 London Marathon: you need balls
and is doubling in frequency every 20 years. The Institute of Cancer Research will be constructing the UK’s first dedicated male cancer research centre later this year, in Surrey. Two of the University runners, Andy Dawson and Luke Godfrey will be running this year’s London Marathon with the aim of raising both cash and awareness for the issue of male cancers. Luke is hoping to complete the course and Andy is aiming to finish as
Surrey cleans up at Climbing Competition
N Bodsworth, D Driscoll, J McCarthy-Holland
of skin and hanging around, ALL the prizes for the universities section went to USMC climbers, as follows: Top scoring beginner: Heidi Petzold Top scoring open class: Arwell Roberts Top scoring university team: USMC A (Arwell, Matt, Joe & Sharon) Best overall team: USMC A Good performances were put in by all with exceptional scores being obtained by Dan Sudbury and Tom Linecar - so much so that they were expelled from the beginners ranks and given default scores in the open class. Neil (turning up a whole 2hrs late) put us all to shame by ending up third overall even though he only had an hour to complete the routes. We all had a good time and felt we hadn’t done badly considering this was the first competition most of us had entered.
opefully that’s got your attention. Do you realise that one in three of us is likely to suffer from some form of cancer ? By the year 2018 it is estimated that 1 in 4 men will suffer from prostate cancer, of which 70% will actually die from the disease; bladder cancer is 3 times more prevalent in men than women; start squirming - testicular cancer mainly occurs in men aged 24 to 35
close to 3 hours as he can. The event also incorporates the BUSA Marathon Championships and will be broadcast on the BBC on Sunday 26th April 98. For the sake of your brothers, fathers, boyfriends and any sons you may go on to have, please get your hands in your pockets and dig deep. Donations and sponsorship are both welcomed, more details from Andy on email@example.com
The Eagle has granded
s we travelled to Redhill indoor climbing wall, our thoughts were of enjoyment, participation and with a little bit of luck the odd mention in the final standings. What we did not anticipate after finally arriving at the third sports centre in the area was that weÕd walk away with slightly more than weÕd bargained for.
The competition consisted of each person climbing fifteen routes in either an open or beginners category, climbing for team and individual points. The grades ( for the nonclimbers ) ranged from hard to very hard (beginners) and stupid-hard to bastard-hard (open). After much finger strain, pumped arms, lack
The abseilers pose with Eddie Edwards at the Grand Hotel in Brighton
s soon as we drove past the Grand on the sea front we noticed the flagpole swaying in the wind. It was actually more violent than a sway but we persuaded ourselves otherwise due to the fact we (Bimbo, Wurzel, Valleys and Just did it) were about to dangle from 7 storeys on the end of a rope. The purpose of the trip to the seaside was to promote The Big Dangle at Brighton on 23rd May. The event has been arranged in support of the Imperial Cancer Research Fund. By 10.30 our ‘Fearless-Four’ were sat in the Grand enjoying a coffee rather than the second hour of Space Structures (nevermind!?). Our highly intellectual and stimulating conversation was suddenly killed by one odd question, ‘Whatever happened to Eddie the ‘Eagle’ Edwards??’ There were looks of bemusement all-round until we realised that the star of the upcoming photo shoot had just arrived!! It was at this point that a call was received to say the Abseil team had broken down enroute and would not be able to make it. Determined not to be beaten we all went up on the roof to see what could be done. A
length of rotting rope was found on the roof, which looked as though it had been there since WW2. The rope was attached to EEE, who proceeded to get into some interesting poses for the publicity shots. If you remember him from the Winter Olympics all those years ago, you will probably agree that he was brave, but at least ‘a couple cans short of a six pack’. Sometimes photographers lack concern for human life, in this instance it was a lack of respect for gravity, as skiing on stairs is not a recipe for success. Whilst all this was going on us ‘Kids’ were getting a bit bored, so we decided to have some cheeky fun. However we were soon over the moon!, as the next shot involved the four of us, and the ‘Eagle’ himself. All in all a great day was had by all down at the Grand, and with a bit of luck it should be a bit warmer and less windy by the end of May. The aim of that day and this article is to publicise the Dangle at the Grand on 23rd May. If anyone is interested in taking part, and would like some more information then call Alex on ext. 4739 or e-mail on cv31al, alternatively call Chris on ext. 4191 or e-mail on cv41cm.
COLOURS BALL - IMPORTANT NOTICE. Lobsters are now OFF THE MENU due to an unexpected price rise. Please let Cazza know what you want instead (9981)Sorry for the inconvenience.
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