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Client: 12th Grade; Journalism assignment

Word count: 1479
Task requirement: Write an in-depth journalistic article that investigates the following
question from multiple perspectives: How will the Chinese economy change in the next
Lilac Qian
Second Draft
April 21st

The Emerging China, Where Will It Go?
In 2000, the beginning of the 21st century, Liuxia district was is one of the most desolate
areas in Hangzhou, Zhejiang. The land there was so muddy that only several vehicles could
traverse through it. “I used to ride a bicycle when I wanted to go to the downtown area.” Liu
Ping, one of the oldest resident in Liuxia, told me, “Every time, when I reached the main road
covered by asphalt, I would notice that pedestrians looked at me in a strange way. They kept
staring at my bicycle as if it had rural label, then I realized that dusty dots are everywhere in its
wheels. Therefore, I seldom went to the downtown area.”
However, time flies. Standing in the prosperous main street in Liuxia, Liu Ping had to
admit the power of Chinese Economy, which drastically smashed his old image of his hometown.
Indeed, skyscrapers had invaded this “rural” region areas with tons of cars coming from
downtown [Insert name of city here]areas. Most people who worked in the western part of city
choose to live in the Liuxiang neighborhood due to the fresh air in the suburban area and the
infinite space for parking. Liuxiang became Hangzhou’s back gardenLiuxiang has grown into a
back garden for Hangzhou. Similarly, suburbanization it is spreading happening in all parts of
China, because of the spread of tons of factories built, that produce goods to be exporteding to

endless going trend.the foreign countries. Since then. research. corruptions in among the government. bubbles in real estate. power. research or news. But people are still wondering where will this giant go in the future? Will it suffer the same fate fall into the destiny as Japan. Reports. the increasing labor wages and the worsening global economic environment are merely tiop of the iceberg. but invisible and apparent impediments ruined the prospects of the continued economic ascendance in China. They Foreign nations express their amazement are amazed by China’s its speed. as expected? The answer is that no one knows. In responsed to the expansion of the Chinese economythat.are like dark spots blocking everywhere in the brightened future. China has unlimited potential with its largest population. a self- . China has its unique governmental structure which has differed from the most countries in the world. These obstacles had been laid in front of the world through one and another one report. and endlessly growing economy. which had zero GDP growth according to their governmental annual report? Or will China it continue to lead the world with because it has the its largest population? Will China and keep generating generate more miracles. Historic Path and a Glimpse of Potential Problems In 1979. The world had witnessed the rapid growth of Chinese Economy. tons of newspapers have had been eager to establish a particular column for China. China has so many invisible problems that some of them are not realized. It seemed like China would continue developing without any interventions. a reform happened to the economic structure of China. and news broadcasted to the world show the obstacles to China’s continued economic prosperity. Inflation. Nobody has been able to expect the trend of Chinese Economy.

China’s future. According to the statics provided by Congressional Research. However. Obviously.) Moreover. Simply picked a cheap object. most people view this reform as a successful one. people who question these China’s impressive economic data haved their own reasons. In addition to the labor wage problem. there are several doubts towards about this economic giant. the world’s markets was overwhelmed by a wave called ‘MADE IN CHINA’. as stated by Yanyan Xiong in her journal. the world felt optimistic for howof where China would developwill become. the average GDP (Gross Domestic Product) growth of China has maintained about 10% every year. are decreasing rapidly because of the higher wages rate.reliented country has finally opened its door towards the whole world. according to Yanyan Xiong’s economic journal “The End of Cheap China Labor”. Business Insider even predicted that the size of Chinese Economy will soon surpass American’s at any time in 21st century. The largest population in China gave the most Ffactories came to China because of its large and cheap labor force. until 2012. Still. Especially during recent years. For example. which mainly export overseas. China has faced a severe problem caused by the . in Zhejiang Province. people began to notice that number of factories. Mmost people are not surprised about that a cheap object it wasis made in China. an average wage rate of a Chinese employee is only 3% of an American worker in 1979. factories are losing these benefits slowly. The wage rate of China has increased significantly during 21st century. For decades. Three decades laterpassed. Frankly. (Noticed that the current GDP growth for America was excellent opportunity to achieve benefits through an extraordinarily cheap wage rate compared with other sides of the world.6% in 2012.

have not been taken into consideration in this report. The CPI (consumer price index) for the country has been rising according to the ANBOUND group. However. Above all. the Ffinancial Ccrisis in American and the Europe Crisis had sent out signs towards the central government in China that the world market was experiencing a burst. but most of those who stoppedthem refused to take the survey from these teenagers. Various Expectations of Future On Jan 2nd 2013. The first part was a multiple choice section. a group of teenagers gathered at the West Lake. and about . since they later explained that their survey would ruin the joy of sightseeing. The result of this decision was terrible. such as bubbles in real estate and pollution. Hangzhou.federal government. The two problems that I have not mentioned. The Chinese Central Ggovernment decided to issue about 4 billion renminbi (Chinese currency) into the market. The worsening overseas economic environment worried the Chinese central government. It was not surprising for those high school students. which is called Do you have any expectations for of China’s economy? This survey is divided into two parts. People all over the country complained were complaining about the increasing prices that and the Chinese Ggovernment even had to intervene in order to repress the protests. a popular tourist sitesight. About hundred people stopped and took their survey. who believed that the Chinese Economy needed a catalyst to release its potential rapidly. but only a few people stopped. During the year 2008. Most people responded to the first part of survey. there are only two main problems encountered by China.. and the second part wasis optional for people who were willing to share more concerns about the economy. Thousands of tourists are passeding by. becausedue to the fact that the Chinese government has already started its campaign to fighting against them.

In China. Most of experts in Economics area agreed upon the idea that China should reform their economic structure again in order to regain global competitiveness globally. Therefore. and they are monopolies that do not allow many private companies to survive. according to congressional research service. Morrison. For instance. In order to regain renewed a new prosperity. the determination to form a free market is a question that nobody could answer. supported the idea that China should change intoadopt a free market structure. However. the market should allow small companies to survive which will generate more creativity and competitiveness. Lu Chengyuan. the world also possesses two opposing opinions about economy’s future in ChinaChina’s future economy.75% of them expressed their confidence in the central government. several macroeconomists unanimously believed that a free market is necessary for the future growth. because due to the fact that the Chinese Ggovernment created monopolies.: who they believed that China’s existing problems can be solved by the government in the future. the majority of people who answered the second part raised doubts about the ability of China’s government to solve these problems. most companies in the market are largely controlled by the government. the best macroeconomist in Zhejiang Province.towards the government. As the survey showedhas shown signs before. However. However. Clearly. explicitly explained the situations faced by China now. However. in Chinese economymarket. . it only depended on the time when the government decided to the reform. China has faced the end of Industrialization era. which means that the endless resources and cheap labor wage will not exist for mucha longer time. people who occupy a prominent positions in the companies with monopolieswill use their privileges to set up new barriers for new privatizations private companies to enter the Chinese marketry. author Wayne M.

”. just as I did not know ten years before ago how it would look like now. The first point I want to make is that you don’t really come to a resolution to answer the prompt. There are too many people to believe. Chinese manufactures still haved the ability to compete with other developing countries. and your use of several sources. Your use of real people’s dialogue is essential to this assignment. I think that your strength in this essay is found in your organization of the content.” Indeed. and there is no one to believe as well. it is but accompanied with the dire global trading environment. “But I heard lots of rumors raising in Hangzhou at least. including first-hand interviews with Chinese citizens. he believesd that reforms are changing the market now. while in the meantime. I do not how this city will look like in ten years. as this is where you will find the essay’s journalistic roots. Dear student. What will China’s economy look like in ten years? You answer: We don’t . I do have two things that I want to point out about the organization of the paper though. Good job with that. this slight recovery seemsed to be a short one. a former taxi driver. were actually taking effects on the market. stated by Liu Ping. citizens and experts from all corners of worlds brought heated debate onin the Internet towards about the problems that Chinese economy’s problems has faced. Even though.While in Huo Jiangguo’s views. I think that the organization of the paper addresses the prompt because it provides background information on China’s changing economic history from the 1970s until now. Most of the workers are going out of the city since they could not afford the living expenses. Also. The unemployment rate for undergraduates is extremely high so that I worryied about my son’s future. The rRecent data showsed signs that Chinese manufacturers haved recoveredies. “I know little about Chinese economy. newspapers and broadcasts are spreading the good news.

There are extra words that are unnecessary which makes it harder for the reader to understand what your intended argument is. and a richer vocabulary. you will be able to write an effective conclusion to the paper. you used this word. Moreover. Good luck and best wishes! Rachel . “I want you to understand why the passive voice is not the best writing choice here. there is no conclusion to this please read the comments I have written to the side of the text. That is where your weakness lies.” Another error I found throughout the essay is your over-use of the word “however. You need to take a stance on an answer to the prompt.purdue. For your next steps. You want to vary your word choice in a paper because it is important to keep your reader engaged. As I wrote in one of the comments. You should also take a firmer stance on answering the prompt.english. I don’t think that answer does justice to your evidence I provided you with in-depth comments and resources to help you learn about how to write more successfully. We do not want students to use the passive voice because it is less clear. All of the sources that you cite say that China will either stay the same or change to become more capitalistic. the grammar in this paper needed a lot of work. in order to bring this paper to the next level. Here is a source to help you learn more about transitional words and phrases: http://www. Once you take a look at what I have edited. Will China stay the same or change into a more capitalistic economy? Then you can write your conclusion. I pointed out many. Furthermore. you should focus on looking through my edits to the body of the for you will find the explanations to these grammatical edits there. many grammatical issues that I found in this paper. but there were areas that I left for you to edit yourself.know. The most common error I saw was your use of the passive voice. and when you do that. Please try to learn from your mistakes there.” In almost every transition. Please take a look at this helpful resource so that you can understand more about editing for the passive voice: https://owl. You need to do a better job of employing different sentence structures. I think that you need to take a stance on this in the assignment.html. I have edited this paper intensely. Using the same words over and over will make your reader quickly lose focus and understanding of your writing. Unfortunately.