UBC FMST 314

Final Exam Study Guide

Intimate Relationships Dr. Todd Martin
August 17, 2016 Duration 2.5 Hours
Part A 80 MC questions from ch. 7-14

Part B 5 choose 3 5pt. questions

Possible topics
-

Shyness

Unsafe sex
o Underestimate risk (shitty math, illusion of unique invulner)
o Faulty decision making (sexual arousal, alcohol myopia)
o Pluralistic ignorance (wrongly believe hookups more popular and
condoms lss than actual)
o Abstinence education
o Decreased intimacy and pleasure
Conflict
o personal autonomy and close connection to others
o openness versus closedness.
o stability versus change.
o integration with, versus separation from a social network.
o 2.3 dating couples /wk, 1-2/mo spouses
o personality, attachment style, similarity, sleep, stage of life, alcohol
o instigating events 38pct children, 25 chores, 22 communication,
rest lesure finances etc.
o cause most conflict: criticism, illeg demands, rebuffs, cumulative
annoyances (eg social allergies)
o attributional conflict, misundestandings
o enagement and escalation
avoid/negotiation/escalation
direct/indirect
negative affect reciprocity, demand/withdraw (women/men)
negotiation and accommodation (direct/indirect)
constructive/destructive, active/pasive

*accommodation remaining constructive in face of lovers

temp disregard
o Volatile
o Validators
o Avoiders
o Hostile
o Ending conflict
Separation/domination/compromise/integrative
agreements/structural improvements
o It is the deft management of conflictand not its absencethat allows
relationships to grow and prosper
o self-control
Loneliness
Gottman
Couple violence
o Intention to hurt
o Conflict tactic scale
o 24 women 14pct men server physcuial violence from partner. 30
women worldwide
o Types
Situational SCV equal
Intimate terrorism IT more men

Violent resistence
Gender
Both genders equal, women at least equal/more likely .
Men more likely to injure 0 62% injured and 71 receiving
treatment women
Men more likely to use violence as tool in oingoing pattern of
force/domniantion, 8/9 IT are men

Bidirectional violence female partners initates at least half

time
Rates: common law > separated > married > widowed
Similar rates, reciprocity high. Minority of women self defensive,
decrease with age and duraeciton of relationships. Likely to end
(violent relationshjisp()
Correlates
I cubed
Instigating triggers

o
o

Impelling influences
Inhibiting influences
o Distal
o Dispositional
o Relational
o Situational

Violence in family of origin

Substance abuse
Dependency, low self-esteem, Personality disorders, etc.
Attachment anxiety
Poor communication skills
Poor impulse control
Dysfunctional relationship dynamics

Rationales feel superior/legimate response, not real did less

damage than coudlve and do not enjoy it
Faulty Feminist perscpctive = patriarchy norms internalized
contrl/doination
Cultural norms, eg british rule of thumb
Does not account for gender similarities, same sex violence
(41pct), power not necc greater violence
1/3 stay, feel like no altnerative/resources or feargreater violence

o
o

Self Blame- Psychological abuse leads the victim to conclude she must
be somehow to blame.
Fear of reprisal
They still love their partner
Hope
Economic Dependency

o
o
o
o
o
Maintaining and enhancing relationships
o Cognitive maintenance mechanisms
Cognitive interdependence
Positive illusionment
Superiority
Inattention to alts
Derogation of tempting alts
o Behavioural maint mechanisms
Willingness to sacrifice
Prayer
Michelangelo phenomenon
Accommodation
Self control
Play
Forgiveness
o Staying content
Positivity
Assurances

Sharing tasks
Openness
Support
*KEEP DOING THESE THINGS. TEMP BENEFITS, SUSTAIN
o Preventitive maintenance
RPEP realist expecations, open communaciton, play
o Marital therapy
Behavioural
Cog-behavioral
Integrative behavioural empathy detatchment tolerance
buiding
Emotionally focused
Insight oriented
Explain difficulty, hope for desirable change, more effective +
advantageous behaviour
Earlier address = better
Conflict tactic scale

o
Part C 3 choose 2 5 point questions
Possible topics
-

Forgiveness

Speaker/listener technique
o Calm,clear communication about contentious issues, incrases chance
partners will udnestand and validate despite disagreemnts
o Rules for the Speaker-Listener Technique:
o The speaker has the floor.
o Speaker: Be brief and specific. Speak for yourself.
o Speaker: Stop and let the listener paraphrase.
o Listener: Paraphrase what you hear.
o Share the floor.
o No problem solving.
Concern/respect w/o falling into noxious cycle
Committed sex
Sternberg
Friendship
Relationship dissolution

Part D Applying theory and data 15 points.

http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relation
ship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1_cixgjVH4