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The Diaries

of

Paul Klee

EDITED, WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY FELIX KLEE

1898-1918

BOSTOf
E

IC

LIBRARY
3

The Diaries

of Paul Klee,

1898-1918

OUsvXs

The Diaries

of

1898-1918

Edited, with an Introduction, by

FELIX KLEE

University of California Press

Berkeley, Los Angeles,

London

English translation from the German, authorized by Felix Klee


1964 by The Regents of the University of California

renewed 1002
and Los Angeles, California
University of California Press, Ltd., London, England
ISBN: 0-520-00653-4
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 64-20003

University of California Press, Berkeley

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without


permission of the Publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief
passages to be printed in a magazine or newspaper.

Tagebiicher von Paul Klee 1808-1018, herasgegeben und eingeleitet von Felix Klee
First

German

edition published in

Cologne by Verlag M. DuMont Schauberg, 1957


(Nachdruck verboten. Alle Rechte vorbehalten

Verlag M.

DuMont

Paperback printing 1068

First California

Manufactured
10

oo
18

The paper used

in this publication

ANS1/NISO

in the

08
17

Schauberg, Koln, 1057)

United States of America

06

07
16

meets the

15

05

14

minimum

13

12

11

requirements of

^30.48-1002 (R 1007) {Permanence of Paper).

Note on the Text

This

first

complete English-language version of Paul Klee's Tagebiicher

based upon the text of the

Mont

in the

by M.

is

Du

paperback edition, also issued in 1957 by the

publisher, have been taken over. Like the

tion has

German

original, the transla-

no scholarly paraphernalia. The reader who requires

tion of persons or fuller information

Grohmann's

Inc., n.d.)

precise identifica-

on other points should consult Will

large-scale study of the artist's life

York: H. N. Abrams,

and

edition, published

Schauberg, Cologne, in 1957. Certain Klee drawings and several of the

minor textual changes

same

German hardcover

and work, Paul Klee (New

and Felix Klee's memoir, Paul Klee: His Life

Work

in Documents (New York: George Braziller, 1962).


German occurs fairly often in the Tagebiicher. Much of the pungency

Swiss

of such entries as 414, 428, 586, 608,

same

true of the erratic

is

mock-Japanese

German

German

and 721 evaporates

in translation; the

of Jean de Castella, in entry 464,

and the

of 570/72.

Paul Klee had the habit of noting

down

sets of

rhyme-words, which were to

but no attempt has

be used in poems. The sense of these rhymes has here been translated
order to

show something

of Klee's association of ideas

in

been made to capture the sound (see entries 184, 286, 292, 296, 306, 325, 330.)
Grateful acknowledgment is made to several persons who have provided
information: Dr. Norbert

Raymond, Los Angeles, and

Professors Robert R.

Heitner and Marcel Rothlisberger, University of California, Los Angeles

for

advice on points of language and history; Professor Fritz Faiss, San Fernando

Valley State College, a former student of Klee's at the Bauhaus

for clarify-

ing certain technical passages; Mrs. Kate T. Steinitz, the Belt Library of

Vinciana, for the benefit of her acquaintance with the "Blue Four" and her

shrewd

The

insight.

translation was a

combined

effort. Pierre

prepared a draft version of the main


University of California Press

made

text.

B. Schneider of Paris, France,

R. Y. Zachary and

Max

Knight of the

the final translation of the entire volume.

R.Y.Z.
v

Preface

The

reader of the four diaries of Paul Klee in this volume will be initiated

into

being presumably an outsider


ful world, that of

were not originally intended


tion.

During

a mysterious, rare, individual,

and watch-

Paul Klee the "painter." Indeed, the entries in his diaries

his lifetime

for publication,

my

father allowed

but merely for his

own

reflec-

no one, not even myself, access

most personal confession.

to his

Shortly after the First

World War Paul Klee moved into the limelight of


World War he attracted the attention

public notice, and after the Second


of the

whole western world. Along with

character, partly full of the


curiosity

we

about

his

life.

most

this great interest, partly critical in

positive praise,

find a wealth of biographical material

but

this

most personal confession

pelling effect

So

far as

on the

went naturally

and much

growing

Grohman

In the recently published book by Dr. Will

instructive information,

of Paul Klee will have a far

more com-

observer.

know, Paul Klee, who was always

kept a diary from the year 1898,

about orderliness,

a fanatic

when he was nineteen

years old.

He

gave

each chapter a running number and date. However, in the course of 1,134
numbers Klee skipped several figures in the series. About 1911, my father

began to make

a clean

copy of these very diverse notes

which were to be followed

With

great pleasure,

later

and with

diary

in

two notebooks,

final, copies.

a full appreciation of

my consent in the summer of


my father, Paul Klee. For quite a

gave
of

by two more,

my

responsibility,

1955 to the plan to publish the diaries


while

from excerpts that had appeared

many

in several

art lovers,

who knew

books about

my

of the

father,

had

expressed their strong interest in a separate edition of the unabridged text.

My

first

task

was to decide whether the many private and personal notes of

Klee could be of value to outsiders. After a detailed examination

felt

that

could assume this responsibility and undertook a review of the whole

text.

should

now

like to transmit

some comments

to the reader based

on

this

work:
1.

Various parts of the text were written by Klee

in

Swiss

German, the
vii

/ Preface

viii

dialect

my

father always used with the family.

have kept to the. original

version.
2.

Following the usual practice, several passages in the original text of Klee

were adapted to what

and
3.

is

accepted style at present. Mistakes, misspellings,

obscurities in the text were corrected.

In several places proper names were replaced by

was necessary

in order to avoid subjecting

some

initials.

This precaution

my

living friends of

still

father's to the glare of publicity.


I

4.

happened

these

to find several

added to the

from the

first

text

version

rough drafts of diary entries in

(My

edited.

father

my

possession;

would often cut out

and paste them into the

pieces

diary at the proper

final

places.)

In the archives of the Paul-Klee-Stiftung there turned up a notebook of

5.

my

father's covered in black oilcloth. Besides notes

tained an essay on "graphic art," a

first

and some poems,

and, in the form of extracts, under the respective numbers,


variants of the diary text.

The

it

con-

version of his Creative Confession,

some noteworthy

publisher and the editor have refrained from

we

publishing both versions side by side or one after the other. Rather,

agreed to accept only the more essential statement in one version or the
other.

Otherwise
out too

it

much

was possible to publish everything without demur, and withoffense to Klee's original intention to keep his diaries secret.

After Klee's death, on June 29, 1940, the four diaries were faithfully

guarded by

my

mother,

Lily, in

her apartment in Bern. After the death of

my

mother, on September 22, 1946, the notebooks came into the possession of
the newly formed Klee-Gesellschaft. Upon my return from Germany to

Bern on November
I

13, 1948,

had never waived. After

my

presented a claim under

copyright,

which

a vigorous dispute our opposing attorneys, in the

spring of 1953, entered into an agreement that was satisfactory to me.

Klee-Gesellschaft was dissolved.

The

possessions

and copyrights

claim to were returned to me. In a further agreement


to the Paul-Klee-Stiftung,

which was founded

apart from a rich collection of paintings, were

it

had

The
laid

granted recognition

in the year 1947. Its holdings,

augmented by the

diaries,

the

catalogue of the complete artistic works, the literary remains consisting of


theoretical writings, a Klee library,

and

a collection of

documents. The foun-

ix

dation has

The

Kunstmuseum and

headquarters in the Berner

its

administered

reproduction rights for the paintings of Paul Klee which are in

by

it.

its

possession belong to

it,

while the reproduction rights for the remaining

pictures, as well as the literary copyright,

The encompassing world


is

is

of Paul Klee,

remain with

me and my

which was alluded

we

are introduced to his life

music, painting, and literature.

We

and into the realm of

By reading

artistic

the arts

struggle with

human and

problems, as they confront every developing and serious

We recognize today the source of Klee's distinctive,


picture

all

witness in their true sequence the inner

growth and the struggle of the young Paul Klee.


with

philosophically

they grew out of his formally perfect and strongly pictorial

titles;

is

ordinarily

met with

background, we observe a
genius,

whether

vations,

travel

life,

Apart from his

in diaries.

literary creativity

far sur-

solid musical

and mastery marked by true

in written dialogue, aphorisms, letters, critical remarks, obser-

impressions, his

humor

often edged with sarcasm, or his

astounding assurance in the appraisal of his


nize in this

artist.

humorous

knowledge of the German language, here amply documented, and


passing what

family.

to at the start,

impressively thrown open to the younger generation in this way:

the diaries

/ Preface

document Paul

as a part of the

own

personal fate.

Klee's strong attachment to

all

Thus we

recog-

the events of daily

whole of and with nature. Reading and studying the

following four diaries will open another unexpected and marvelous blossom
to the friend

and observer of Klee's

to carry us off for

Bern,

ample time

summer 1956

art.

Be

it

the spirit of this

to distant worlds,

on

this side

first

publication

and beyond.

felix klee

Contents

NOTE ON THE TEXT


PREFACE

/ v

vii

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

A BRIEF

DIARY
Memories

Munich
Munich

xii

xix

of Childhood. 3

The Student
Munich;

at the Classical

First
II,

High School. 14

Year of Study 1898-1899. 22

1899-1900. 33

III,

Before Italy

1900-1901. 42

(Summer

DIARY
Italian Diary

of 1901); Bern

II / 61

(October 1901 to

DIARY

and Surroundings. 57

May

1902). 63

III / 117

Munich. 207
Trip to Tunisia. 283

DIARY IV

/ 325

GENEALOGICAL CHART:
THE KLEE FAMILY/ 412
RECOLLECTIONS (FELIX KLEE)
FELIX CALENDAR

/ 414

/ 420

List of
Illustrations

DRAWINGS
A Brief Autobiography,
The

Bern, January

7,

xv

1940

Carousel, 1889 (ten years of age). Drawing, 11 x 14

cm

Red-backed Shrike, 1894. Drawing from the zoology notebook, 19 x 12.3 cm


Rothenhurg on the Tauber, December 1896. Drawing, 12.8 x 8.7 cm. Felix

13

Klee, Bern
Drawing horn the Mathematics Notebook, about 1896. Felix Klee, Bern
Drawing from the Mathematics Notebook, about 1896. Felix Klee, Bern

15

17

19

Pencil Study at Knirr's School, 1899. Klee Stiftung, Bern

Two Men

25

Meet, Each Presuming the Other To Be of Higher Rank, 1903,

Zinc etching,

11 x 19

Young Man Leaning on

5.

cm. Klee Stiftung, Bern

145

Lyre, 1905, 33. Pencil, 10.8 x 4.$ cm. Klee Stiftung,

Bern

166

Cat, ioo$. Pencil sketch

My

Portrait of

171

Father, 1906, 23. Picture on Glass, 31 x 28.$ cm. Felix Klee,

Bern

178

Masculine Head, Gypsy Type, 1906,


Bern

Nude Study

4. Pencil, $.7

x 6.1 cm. Klee Stiftung,

195

in the Art School, 1906, 30. Pencil, 11 x 13

cm. Klee Stiftung,

Bern

201

Soothsayers Conversing, 1906, 33. Pencil, 21.$ x 17 cm. Klee Stiftung, Bern

Two

gel,

Hannover

Girl and Little

233

Boy on the

Floor, Simple Contours, 1908, 31. Pencil, 7.1 x 12.$

cm. Klee Stiftung, Bern


Self-portrait

Drawing

for a

235

Woodcut,

1909, 39.

Pen drawing,

13 x 14.$ cm.

Felix Klee, Bern


Portrait of

My Sister in

237

Profile, 1909, 24. India ink, 20.2

x 26.4 cm. Klee

Stif-

cm. Klee

Stif-

tung, Bern

Reading on the Bed, 1910,


tung, Bern
xii

209

Aunts, Nudes with Crests, 1908, 14. Pen, 14.2 x 12 cm. Bernhard Spren-

241
13.

Pen and India

ink, 12.1 x 22.4

249

/ List of Illustrations

xiii

Caricature of a Piece ot Furniture, 1910, 1$.

Pen and India

ink, 22.4 x 25.7

cm.

Klee Stiftung, Bern

Young Man Resting


Rolf

Scene

Bu'rgi,

251

(SeJf-portrait), 1911, 42.

7,

ink, 14 x

20 cm.

Bern

257

in the Restaurant, 2911, 89.

Candide, Chap.

Brush and India

1911, 63.

Drawing, 13 x 23 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

Pen and India

ink, 16 x

24 cm. Klee Stiftung,

Bern

261

Harlequinade, 1912, 84. Pen and India ink, 6 x 14.$ cm. Klee Stiftung, Bern

Good

Conversation, 1913, 84. Pen, 1$ x 12 cm. Alex Vomel, Diisseldorf

Sisters, 1913, 140.

The
The

259

273

India ink drawing, 12.4 x 9.8 cm. Klee Stiftung, Bern

Afflicted Policemen, 1913, $4. Pen, 28.$ x 22

269

277

cm. Felix Klee, Bern

279

Fleeing Policemen, 1913, $5. Pen and India ink, 19.5 x 15.5 cm. Klee
Stiftung,

Bern

281

Flight to the Right, 1913, 158.

Pen and India

ink, 14.2 x 10.4

cm. Klee

Stif-

tung, Bern
Critic, 1914, 207.

Jerusalem

285

Pen, 16 x 15 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

My Highest Bliss,

289

1914, 161. Pen, 19 x 18.$ cm. Siegfried Rosengart,

Lucerne

296

Medieval City, 1914, 15. Pen


Instrument for New Music, 1914,

Death on the

309
10.

Pen, 17 x 17 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

311

cm. Felix Klee, Bern

317

Battlefield, 1914, 172. Pen, 9 x 17.5

Naval Station, 1915,

10.

Pen, 10.$ x 20 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

319

Abstract Architects of the Heights, 1915, 232. Pen, 16.5 x 11.5 cm. Felix Klee,

Bern
Spiritistic

321

Catastrophe, 1916, 32. India ink drawing, 7.3 x is cm. Klee Stiftung,

Bern

323

Without Title, 1916, 1. Pen, 6.$ x 16.5 cm. Felix Klee, Bern
Tower by the Sea, 1917, 160. India ink drawing, 9.2 x 13.7 cm. Klee

342
Stiftung,

Bern

373

Embryonic Elements

of Abstraction, 1917, 119. Drawing, 19.5 x 14.5 cm. Felix

Klee, Bern
Drawing with the Fermata, 1918,

209. Pen, 15.9 x 24.3 cm. Klee Stiftung, Bern

377
3-9

Birdplanes, 1918, 210. Pencil, 21.7 x 27.4 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

383

Departure, 1918, 207. Drawing, 21 x 7.5 cm. Felix Klee, Bern


Lost in Thought (Self-portrait) 1919, 113. Lithograph, 24.$ x 18 cm. Klee

389

Stiftung,

Bern

Travel Picture, 1919, 132. Pen, 27.$ x 22 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

Two Times

Fourteen, 1918, 49. Pen, 11 x 22 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

395
39~

399

xiv

/ List of Illustrations

The Unredeemed,

1918, 189. Pen, 1$.$ x 2$ cm. Felix Klee, Bern

401

Picture of the Artist (Self-portrait), 1919, 260. Pen, 23 x 13.$ cm.

dena Art

The

Pasa-

Institute, California

403

Oppressed Little Gentleman, 1919, 133. Pen, 27.5 x 22 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

405

Bathing Life, 1919, 28. Pen, 26 x 17 cm. Felix Klee, Bern

407

Kaiser

Wilhelm Raging,

1920, 206. Pen, 18.$ x 20.$ cm. Felix Klee, Bern

409

PHOTOGRAPHS
Following page 42

The Hands

of Paul Klee, Dessau, 1931

Mathilde Klee, Ernst Frick, Paul Klee, Bern, 1886

Hans

Klee, the Artist's Father, Hofwyl, 1925

Ida Klee, nee Frick, Mother of Paul Klee, i8j6

Paul Klee, Bern, 1892


Lily Klee

(Wife of Paul Klee), Munich, 1906.

Photograph by Paul Klee


Paul Klee, Bern, 1906
Paul Klee, Landshut, 1916
Paul Klee's Studio in Munich, Werneckstrasse, Schlosschen "Suresnes," 1919.
Photograph by Paul Klee
Paul Klee, Weimar, 1922
Felix Klee

Puppet Theater; Puppets and Decor by Paul Klee

(KasperJe and the Devil in the Magic Box),

Paul Klee's Studio in the Bauhaus, Weimar, 1924.


Photograph hy Paul Klee

From

left to right: Felix,

Paul,

and Efrossina Klee

in the Railroad Station, Basel, 1932

Wassily Kandinsky, Paul Klee, and Nina Kandinsky,


Dessau-Worlitz, 1932

Paul Klee, Dessau, 1933


Paul Klee in His Studio in Bern, 1940

Weimar, 1922

~Sli

A BRIEF AUTOBIOGRAPHY,
BERN, JANUARY

7,

194O

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Brief

Autobiography

[The following

is

a translation of Paul Klees autograph letter, reproduced

The

the preceding pages.


ship,

By

he died.

Trans,

Langgasse in Bern.

my

attended the

parents sent

Literarschule of the

and was graduated

me

Gymnasium. After

in the fall of 1898,

to

Progymnasium.

we

my

mother

lived in the

my

then entered the

my general education.
my graduation certifi-

had concluded

me

passed the cantonal examinations

by reason of

my

decided to study painting and to devote

of such a career. In order to realize

father was a

Hofwyl, and

four grades of the local primary school;

first

to the municipal

Although every career was open


I

at

started school in the spring of 1886,

I
I

My

Miinchenbuchsee.

18, 1879, in

Cantonal Teachers' College

at the

When

was Swiss.

cate,

on

his application for Swiss citizen-

note.]

was born on December

music teacher

then

accompanied

which was not offered to him until May 1940, the month of his death.
time he was in a sanatorium at Ticino and remained a German citizen

this

until

letter

aim,

to art, despite the risk

life

had

to go abroad (the

same

would be true of many young Swiss artists today), either to Paris or to Germany. I felt more strongly drawn to Germany, and decided to go there.

That

how

is

came

to the Bavarian capital,

Academy

painting,

and before long was able

went

where on the advice of the Art

to Knirr's preparatory school.

Here

practiced drawing and

to enter the class of Franz Stuck at the

Academy. After three years of study in Munich, I broadened


by a year of travel in Italy (principally in Rome). Then I had
to evaluate

what

had learned and

carry out this intention

my

to use

it

for

my

my

experience

to settle

down
To

future development.

returned to Bern, the city of

my

youth; the fruits of

number of etchings done between 1903 and 1906, which


even then attracted some notice.
During my Munich years I made many friendships, including that of the
stay there

woman who
decided

for

were

is

now my

wife. Since she

what seemed

to

me

was professionally active

an important reason

to

in

Munich,

move back

there
\:\

xx /

(fall,

Brief Autobiography

1906).

was slowly making a name

for myself as

an

artist;

and Munich,

a center of art and artists at that time, offered significant prospects of artistic

advancement. Except
at

Munich

when

for three years of military service,

Landshut, Schleissheim, and Gersthofen,

At the same time,

until the year 1920.

with Bern, returning every year to the

was stationed

my residence in
sever my connection

maintained

I
I

home

did not

of

my

summer

parents for a

holiday of 2-3 months.

In 1920

was appointed to the faculty of the Bauhaus

there until this institution was


1930,

moved

to

Dessau

received a call to the Prussian Art

charge of a painting

my

confine

class.

welcomed

teaching to the

field

this

in

Academy

taught

at Diisseldorf, to be in

appointment;

that was genuinely

Academy from 1931 to 1933.


The political turmoil in Germany affected

Weimar.

in the year 1926. Finally, in

permitted

it

my

me

own, and thus

to
I

taught at the

not only
I

my

freedom to teach but the

the fine arts too, constricting

free exercise of

had by then achieved an international reputation

fident

enough

to give

up

my post

and make

my

my

creative talent. Since

as a painter,

felt

livelihood by

my own

new phase

my

con-

creative

work.

The
itself.

question of where to settle


Since

my

close ties with

strongly attracted to

and

my one

it

again as

remaining wish

Bern, January

7,

is

down

for this

of

life

Bern had never been broken,

my

real

home.

answered

was now

have lived here ever

since,

to be a citizen of this city.

1940
(signed)

Paul Klee

Diary

i.

shall preface

my

childhood memories with the remark that

was sup-

posed to have been born in the schoolhouse at Miinchenbuchsee, near


Bern, on

who

December

18,

1879.

was

in his capacity of teacher of

granted permission to

live

said, in a rather poor, all

permanently

too-common

soon we moved to 32 Hallerstrasse,


this flat

father,

Hofwyl Teachers' College, was

at

in Bern.

At

little street

a big

my

few months old when

music

first,

we

settled, so

it

is

called Aarbergergasse; but

and grander

street.

remember

can't

any more than the preceding, but only the next one, at 26 Hallestrasse.

From my

third to

my

Marienstrasse), where

hood. During

my

tenth year.
I

We

then moved to the Kirchenfeld (8

spent the later and

last years in

the

less

Gymnasium we

innocent part of

my

child-

lived at the family estate

on

the Obstberg.

Memories
(Bern

2.

Childhood

developed very early an aesthetic

skirts
I

of

in the Eighties)

sensibility;

while

was made to put on underwear that was too long

could see the grey flannel with the wavy red trimmings.

rang

3.

hid to keep the visitor from seeing

When

grownups were

talking,

my

wasn't able to catch individual words

me

in this state

mother and

for

was

still

wearing

me, so that even

When

the doorbell

(two to three years)

a friend, for

example,

out of the swift flow of sentences.

End-

less

sentences without meaning, like a foreign language (very early memory;

two

to three years).

4.

On

one occasion

mv

mother came home and found her beautiful lamp

broken. Her hysterical tears

made

deep impression (three years)


3

4 / Diary
5.

My grandmother,

She used

She wouldn't take

From

6.

My

first

very early to draw with crayons.

kind of toilet-paper on me, so-called

would she put

a bite of her apple, nor

mouth; instead she would


knife.

me

Frau Frick, taught

a particularly soft

first

scrape

them

slices

silk

of

it

paper!
in her

into a sort of pulp with a pen-

her stomach sour breath rose periodically (three to four years)

impressions of the beauty of

extremely intense.

was sorry

was not

little girls

were very precocious yet

a girl myself so

could wear ravishing,

lace-trimmed white panties (three to four years)

7.

For a long time

trusted

(Papa can do anything)


old man's teasing.
playful

Even

8.

On

my Papa

pure truth.

as

in later life, this "pf!"

(infantile)

parts

and regarded

only thing

one occasion, thinking

mummery. A sudden amused

In a dream

implicitly

The

his

words

couldn't bear was the

was alone,

"pf!" interrupted

indulged in some

and wounded me.

was heard occasionally.

saw the maid's sexual organs; they consisted of four male

and looked something

like a cow's

udder (two to three

years )

9.

When my parents went out at night the maid took command of the
On such occasions a room would usually be cleaned, and when it came

house.

time to scour the

and

floor,

we were allowed

to

sit

on the brush and

ride

back

But there was one unfortunate thing that was distinctly unfavorme: my sister always had special privileges. Unhappy moments, which

forth.

able to

called the value of entire evenings into question.

10.

Evil spirits that

real presence.
little devils

11.

that

ran to

my mother

had peeked

didn't believe in

God was

had drawn (three to four years) suddenly acquired


in

God; other

constantly watching

of such a belief.

for protection

and complained

to her that

through the window (four years).

One day

little

us.

a very old

boys were always saying, parrotlike,

was persuaded of the

grandmother died

inferior nature

in our barracklike

apartment house. The


in the least

The dead body

12.

now an

boys claimed that she was

little

convinced

/ Memories of Childhood 1880-1895

my

of

grandmother made

resemblance could be detected.

wasn't

deep impression on me.

passed the door leading

No

We weren't allowed to come close. And Aunt

Mathilda's tears flowed like a quiet brook. For a long time


ever

angel;

(five years).

down

corpse had been kept for a while.

shuddered when-

where the

to the cellar of the hospital,

That the dead could

learned myself; but shedding tears appeared to

me

terrify us,

had thus

custom reserved

for

adults (five years).

My

13.

father once described a spinster as a dry

shrunken lower

to her oddly

thought

girl. I

this referred

lip (six years).

From time to time, I played tricks on a little girl who was not pretty and
14.
who wore braces to correct her crooked legs. I regarded her whole family,
and

in particular the

the

little

mother,

as very inferior people.

would present myself

pretending to be a good boy, and beg to be allowed to take

at the high court,

darling for a walk. For a while we'd walk peaceably

hand

in

hand;

then, perhaps in the nearby field where potatoes were blooming and June

bugs were

At the

all

right

over, or perhaps

moment

fall,

and

I'd bring

it

air:

"It tumbled."

my

back in

tears to its

my mind

was

walking single

The poor

must have gauged her

at the opera
this:

correctly (five or six years)

and next day praised the

of course,

children; but instead, a

maybe an

man

no

in tails,

ordinary

little

scenery,

16.

Tramps often attacked me

play-acting,

When my

what

no costume

that

pictured

was

for

with the score in his hands. At most, a

room
in

different.

tenor,

my

(six to

seven years).

dreams. But,

always managed to

escape by claiming to be a tramp myself. This ruse always helped

my

file.

thing would

mother, explaining with an innocent

imagined that everything adult was naturally

mother had been


in

start

protegee a slight push.

played this trick more than once, without Frau Enger's

ever suspecting the truth.

15.

even sooner, we would

I'd give

fellow students (about seven years).

me

with

6 / Diary

17.

frequently drew at Frick's house

owner;

drew

a horse

and buggy.

you have forgotten?"


by

sessed

stallions,

My

a little

had

this

fat restaurant

guest watched

me

as

you know what

said: ''Do

man who was

he named

last

my

restaurant for the cat, until

thought he might be alluding to a certain organ pos-

seven years).

(six to

said:

little

fellow searched the entire

uncle put an end to the

'The

feelings of social revulsion.

He

at imitating the voices of animals.

nasty kitten has sh.

by uttering

affair

But the boy kept up the idea and, with

and shrewdness,

me

trying to embarrass

"The yoke"

it:

boy by meowing. The

a trumpetlike noise.

stupidity

was done, he

it

Uncle Frick was good

fat

once fooled

When

and answered

with stubborn silence. At

18.

he was my uncle, the

used to look at the Fliegende Blatter there.

mixture of

Hearing

."

would never have used such words

this,

good

in

society (seven to eight years).

19.

was told that

But when

startled, as

by

Two

20.

tailors sat

on the

actually encountered
a vision

little

become

flesh

table.

Deep down

one of these gentry on

boys, four or five years old (I myself


I

weakness as

God

(in

he burst into
it

well.

whom
tears.

his table,

it

excited

Whereupon
I

fib.

was

One of them,
me to play on

reproached him for his sinful way of

didn't believe)

wasn't true. Several times

was seven), were sup-

was the strongest.

Richard, was a gentle soul and easy to influence

that

took this for a

(seven years)

posed to obey me, in every thing, because

this

life,

told

would punish him, and kept on

relented and comforted him, telling

him
until

him

allowed myself to be tempted by this experi-

ment.

The

other one, Otto Eicher, spoke in lovely cadences, which at

appealed to me. But later this sugary tone began to


of nausea.
that.

To

started to hate the

this day,

boy and

irritate

me

first

strongly

to the point

Simply because of

to persecute him.

can hear his way of reiterating his questions: "Whatcha

doing there, wh-aat??" (seven years).

21.

In the second year of

feelings

grammar school

toward Hermine, the

girl

who

already harbored very special

sat next to

me.

still

remember

7 / Memories of Childhood 1880-1895

moment

during

class, as

we

sat

on the

way

silly

child

had

a rather

cast

many

glances to the left

feeling

would

at

home

world (seven years)

me

This didn't keep

22.

The

of continually smiling with her nostrils: lost to the world, she

pick glass beads from her lap.


in this

on the bench, and

desks, with our feet

looked at the picture posters hung on the rear wall.

the Suisse romande.

from busying myself concurrently with

was her favorite playmate, because

from

a girl

understood her

language and could even speak a bit of French. But in due course the
tyrant was

no longer content with

vocabulary.

and started questioning

this

me

little

about

sprightly little thing, red-brown velvet cap with a pert white

feather (seven years)

While

23.

showed
fill

was

in charge of distributing the

my

beautiful

sweetheart, a supposition that

and

in school, a girl

in a position to ful-

little

we

we

stayed faithful, with a few interruptions, to

lady was beautiful,

a strong but secret love.


Still,

wounded me because she wasn't

lived in Felsenau (eight years).

For a long time

24.

Camille. This

and

was

her wish, and pushed the book toward her. This started the rumor that

she was

if

new books

a preference for a cover of a certain color.

could swear to

it

even today.

Whenever we met unexpectedly my

know each

other.

At one of our meetings she wore

a big red hat (in Hotelgasse).

the Kirchenfeld Bridge, and

we

acted as

a pale red dress

Another time she walked backward along

was barely able to avoid

she had on a short, dark blue velvet dress and a

abundant and loosely bound. Her father was


from Geneva. There were

was

heart quivered.

greeted each other briefly and timidly; before witnesses

didn't

little

It

five sisters,

a collision; that time,

little

German

cap.

Her braid was

Swiss and her mother

each one more beautiful than the other

(seven to twelve years)


25.

Through

transplanted

it

gap

into

in the

my own

garden fence,

stole a

miniature garden.

bulb from a dahlia and

hoped

for pretty leaves

and

perhaps a friendly flower. But a whole bush grew up, covered with countless

deep red blossoms. This awakened


thought of renouncing

a certain fear in

me, and

my possession by giving it away

played with the

(eight yea:

8 / Diary I

26.

won a
down

sliding

my

foot.

was

but no witness was present. So

terrified,

Now

Suspicion settled on

me

even went so

anyway.

out any urging, again stressing

became unsure

my

was

it

far as to

my

them with

my mother

night

of about three weeks;


asleep.

a pencil.

itself

was fascinated with

maze

human

one could pick out

of

gro-

this pastime;

(nine years)

returned at night from a

had long

were

in Switzerland,

since gone to

trip, after

an absence

bed and was supposed

to be

pretended to be, and her homecoming was only celebrated the next

morning (eight
"His

29.

man

whose surface displayed

slabs,

"bent for the bizarre" announced

One

matter of consistently

broach the subject myself with-

uncle, the fattest

topped with polished marble

tesques and capture

28.

lamp with

oil

hadn't been me.

innocence. Finally Frau Scheurer at least

petrified layers. In this labyrinth of lines

my

just a

it

(eight to nine years)

In the restaurant run by

tables

was not complete. While

it

had broken the metal stand of the

denying the crime.

27.

though

victory over Frau Scheurer,

the banister

years)

sister

consoles him," read the illustrated passage in a poem. But

didn't put any high value

on the

sister's

consolation, because she looked

unaesthetic (six to eight years)

clearly recall a stay in Marly, near Fribourg.

30.

the

first

we

applied to a certain kind of children's clothes

second

lived

visit

on

in

took

my mind only through

me

for the first

At

least,

we wore

The

said to contain fleas.

sisters Kiienlin,

who

The

The

its

ticking

cosmopolitan children.

The

horse carriage

procession.

ran the boardinghouse. Their French dialect.

killing of these animals.

the water with

Catholicism of the region.

hefty lady-director. Gentle Eugenie in the kitchen.


try yard.

at the time.

time to a strange town, without arcades, on

a small river greener than the Aare. Marvelous drawbridges.

which was

the second one:

the expression "Marly-skirts," which

The

The

there.

The

The
poul-

squirrel in the wheel. Downstairs,

mechanism. Coffee outside

Some from

flies

Alexandria,

in the afternoon.

who had

The

already traveled on

9 / Memories of Childhood 1880-1895

<

THE CAROUSEL, 1889

^J

&&&&&&&*

TEN YEARS OF AGE)

the sea in ships as large as a house (this

didn't completely believe).

fat,

The walks in the surrounding countryside. The small,


swaying foot-bridges. The grownups' fright on these bridges. The man who,
at the other end, said "Dieu soit beni." The terrible thunderstorm, during
which we found shelter in an aristocratic country house. The various bowling
alleys. Swimming in the brook. The high reeds. Swimming with a couple of
gentlemen near a threshold-like waterfall. The sad farewell to this paradise.
brutal Russian boy.

third stay,

which confirmed and strengthened the impressions gathered

during the second.

The

fat,

merry young

with our parents and us (about

priest

who

six to eight years).

played "musical chairs"

io / Diary I

Herr Winter's daughters smelled of

31.

On

class.

the

first

groceries.

day of the fourth grade

it

should really have been kept back in the third.

by

a written

ing the

(like a

girl

the

girls

had bad

teeth,

them was

of

in

my

this child

The mistake was

corrected

together with the job of escort-

policeman) to her right classroom.

necessary discretion, and although


all

me

statement that was handed to

One

was discovered that

did this with the

and even though

didn't like her family

never said anything about

in our street (nine

it

years )

When

32.

ing

II

was ten

went

Trovatore, and

was struck by the

to the opera for the

first

time.

fact that these

They were

play-

people suffered so

much and that they were never calm and seldom gay. But I quickly felt at
home in the pathetic style. I began to like the raving Leonora, and when her
hands fumbled wildly about her mouth,
ture a desperate grab at her denture;
teeth. In the Bible people used to

thought

recognized in this ges-

even saw the

glitter of a

rend their garments:

why

few outflung

shouldn't pulling

out your teeth be a beautiful and moving expression of despair? (ten years).

33.

One

day, while

tory school],

proaching me.

An

sitting in front of

34.

lete.

By

a stroke of

hands.

My

me

whom

I'd

[prepara-

got by, ap-

to go out of the man's way,

class

saw a fellow student

bad luck some pornographic drawings


with a belly

full

mother was unjust enough

plump

now

masturbating in the shadow of his desk (eleven years).

A woman

rather

me

whole business. During

elf

to take a

bent over to pluck

into the deep valley pinched

fell

into

my

moth-

of children, another extremely decol-

me. The decollete was the consequence of


ter.

Progymnasium

in the lowest class of the

inexplicable impulse drove

in order to elude the

er's

was

saw the primary school teacher,

moral view of

a ballet

a strawberry,

between swelling

this

performance

hills.

and scold

at the thea-

and you could gaze


was scared to death

(eleven to twelve years).

35.
sex,

imagined face and genitals to be the corresponding poles of the female

when

girls

wept

thought of pudenda weeping in unison.

ii /

The

36.

Memories

approached with any carnal passion was

first girl I

old Helene from Neuchatel, a delicate beauty.

summer

of a few weeks during

vacation, in

moment came, and

favorable

have covered her with

Every

moment

my

drew her

nine-yeara stretch

uncle's hotel in Beatenberg.

violently against

little

met her twice over

me

she had not fought

kisses, if

This young lady being very capricious,


her.

Childhood 1880-1895

of

me and would

madly.

off

much on account

suffered

of

she was fdchee: "You're bad."

young Russian intruded on my hunting grounds. But he was inclined


and couldn't refrain from giving the lady's tiny bare legs a good

to sadism

going-over with

some thin

rods, until

threw myself on him (only after

reached the peak of anger) and put an end to the

affair.

had

cold stare was his

only reply.

On

another occasion

my

victory was less easy.

young boy from Bern

joined us as a third party, and during one of the "fdche" periods, ousted
altogether.

met the
strolling

These were

torments of that

first

sort.

Once

me

unexpectedly

with her aunt in Bern, near the main police station.

girl

had been

through the town with Thiessing. Shortly before, he had bought

some candy, and

He

my

just

then

my mouth

was stuffed and

witnessed the whole occurrence. Afterward, he

could hardly speak.

felt as if

he had discovered

something. His words, "That's your sweetheart!" sank in deeply and pain-

How

fully.

when they

cruel boys are, even

are fond of each other (eleven to

twelve years).

Our

last

encounter took place on board a steamer on the Thunersee.

my

already sated
soiled.

She was

no more than

37.

curiosity about sexual matters in

Munich and

felt

had

rather

an angel, and seventeen. The impression, however, was

like

relative, resting as

volume of short

stories

with special pleasure "Der Gast

it

did on memories.

by Wilbrandt

vom

fell

Abendstern."

into

my

My

father looked unfavor-

hands, and

read

ably on this; he was of the opinion that problematic characters weren't good
at

my

age.

worked out

know what

didn't

"problems" mean?
at

What

some

to

make

of this point of view.

What

did

one didn't understand now would doubtless be

later date.

part (fourteen to fifteen years)

At

least

one could

satisfy one's curiosity in

12 / Diary I

Secretly,

had long

Hauff's Tales, which

words.

It

pleased

me

since read
I

took

'The

literally,

Man

in the

not as

Moon"

satire.

in the

volume of

Like Clauren, in other

mightily (about twelve years).

13

/ Memories of Childhood 1880-1895

^ft**^<4Z_^

RED-BACKED SHRIKE, 1894

The Student at the


Classical High School

A stay in

50.

Basel,

autumn

felt well.

My

of 1897

was taken to entertain me.

and 1898, with

certain admiration

my

relatives.

was shown

Great care

my

for

puberty also produced certain timid relations with

talents.

my

girl-

cousin D., typical things, completely unconscious.

took a splendid walk with D. through the vine-covered

up

to Tiillingen.

can

hills

from Weil

see the fruit-laden plain spreading broadly at our

still

feet.

Many

to the theater.

visits

many

posed

as authentic as

51.

D
I

it

was bad. 4.24.1898.

Bern. At a subscription concert


minor played by Frenne. It leaves

up too

stay

late,

but

the night.

late, far into

this doesn't

make up

somewhat melancholy

ent. Dark, foggy

An evening of ballet. I commy too meager satisfactions. Art

Mainly opera.

compensate for

a quatrain to

weather

now, would be to

lie

for the

letter
this

fits

down

heard Brahms' Piano Concerto in

me

completely shattered. As a

arrive at school a quarter of

time

lost.

me

from Basel made

mood.

result,

an hour

almost

for a long sleep, to

completely despond-

feel as if

the best thing,

wake up only on the return

of spring. 1897.

52.

Bern. 11.10.1897. As time passes

growing love of music.

Bach: next to them, what

La Landi made
songs.

53.

sigh,

become more and more

don't understand myself.


is

Bocklin?

It

makes

me

on

me

with old Italian

Music! Music!

Bern. 12.12.1897. After a time

like

my

smile.

a deep, unforgettable impression

once again picked up some of

sketchbooks and leafed through them. In the process

seemed

afraid of

play solo sonatas by

hope reawaken

in

me. By chance

saw

my

felt

my

something that

mirror-image in the

14

15 / Classical

High School

windowpane and I thought about the man looking out at me. Quite likable,
that fellow on the chair; his head resting against a white pillow, his legs on
another chair. The gray book closed, the index finger of one hand inside it.

He remained

completely motionless, bathed in soft lamplight. Before this

had often observed him searchingly. Not always with

success.

But today

I
I

understood him.

54.

Bern. 4.27.1898. "Sit

mathematics course; but


first

thunderstorm

is

all

down and
that

is

raging outside.

learn

it

better!" So

it

went

thyme and the sound of train whistles, playing with


Nature does love me! She consoles me and makes promises to

carrying the odor of

my

moist

hair.

in the

and forgotten. Just now the year's


fresh wind from the west grazes me,

past

me.

^*/
ROTHENBURG ON THE
TAUBER, DECEMBER 1896

<&r6k*i*TT-

*- br'JZiiJU-r.

16 / Diary I

On

am invulnerable. Outwardly smiling, inwardly laughing


my soul, a twittering whistle on my lips, I cast myself
on the bed, stretch, and keep watch over my slumbering strength.
Westward, northward, let it drive me wherever it wishes: I have faith!
such days

more

freely, a

song in

Symphony

Bern. 1.19.1898. Brahms'

55.

more

Even the

deeply.

E minor

in

variations in the last

stirs

movement

me more

and

are beginning to

entrance me.
In our

where everybody attends voluntarily, we read Sophocles'

circle,

Antigone. There were also some ladies present, the wife of a Bundesrat and
a

matron clad

in

mauve!

wrote a long comic

poem about

read from Waldmeiser's Brautfahrt. These are the

1.31.1898.

56.

At nine

The westwind

is

on the

land.

in the evening the temperature

is

and Bloesch

her,

fruits.

Headache above the

still

right eye.

41 F.; unable to tune the

violin. Sick.

The

landscape was just as

In the Dahlholzli

lay

sick,

down on

but magnificent. The woods a deep


the ground. For a long time

violet.

looked up at

the swaying pine tops. There was a rustling, cracking, and rubbing in the
branches. Music.

One time

birches. Their silver trunks,

the forests, the

At home
go well
into a
is

filled

57.

Elfenau and was refreshed by the

and behind them, the deep Gurten

meadows bare

to the earth.

dabbled a bit with paints.

either. Just as

swarm

lay in the

No more

It irritated

hum

By

snow.

me. Writing poetry didn't

on "that certain summer evening"

of mosquitoes without catching a single one.

with the

forest.

thrust

And

my hand

yet the air

of a thousand voices.

Bern. 3.3.1898. Feminine impression connected with yearning for

tistic

ar-

form.

3.5.1898.
I

even sang and wished

had never wanted

to

become

had

a voice, as a bridge

a violinist; for this,

felt I

toward music.

had too

little

of

the virtuoso's temperament.

58.

Bern. 3.6.1898. Gripping

blowing.

moment on

a winter's day, with a

warm wind

.'

-^
,

DRAWING FROM THE MATHEMATICS NOTEBOOK, ABOUT 1896

18 / Diary I

my

In the Egelgasse

emotion reached

climax. In the

its

clouds were mirrored. Secret pulsation of the


one's sleep.

Motion

Old

The

trees.

snow,

pond inverted

like

breathing in

impression of a controlled passion.

an impulse to act

stirs

still

My

me, an impulse to experience

in

portrait.
first.

My

yearning to wander away, into a springtime. Far out into the land. Away.

Ever onward.

Now
humor,

59.

back

home

in

good

Warmth.

Lamplight.

spirits.

Assurance, strength,

faith.

3.13.1898. Little erotic poems.

3.23.1898. Plan of a

book

touch of

frivolity in these things.

had been

of lyrical songs, before a single song

completed.
6.17.1898. Last night
if

my

eyes

had allowed

future painter this

The muse,

is

theless,

The

felt so

Now

work

would have worked

but destroyed them

stories,

took myself under

my own

fact that the results are

ment does an elemental

61.

all.

Anno

1898.

None-

protection again.

no good
is

no proof of ungodly descent.

is still

no

reality to lean on.

What

humanism?: One

drive find in pallid

nourish-

is

referred

exclusively to the clouds. Drive without substance. Exceedingly high

no

For

especially in mathematics.

all,

In such a "classical" environment there

tains with

dawn,

till

at night, sleep in the daytime.

a harlot dispensing solace for a botched job: but studious zeal

wrote a few short


I

well disposed
I'll

not quite the right method.

doesn't please her at


60.

I
it.

moun-

base.

Recognized that the erotic energy

in

me

was polygamous.

My

infatua-

tion switches with every soubrette at the Opera.

Contempt

for chastity:

Chaste are these four


If I

may

walls,

say so!

Pure are these two hands,


And how honestly I yawn!
62.

When

was about fourteen

and Altdorf with

my

father

2.13.1898.

took a beautiful trip to Lucerne, Fliielen,

and Herr

Pfyffer

from Saint Imier.

We

walked

I
'

'"

0%.

/^X^/f ^A. #

^f

"*1

-4^ 7*~/

tX

-^

us.

AM
>/->/

1-1
>

A'-**

>:

7:

DRAWING FROM THE MATHEMATICS NOTEBOOK, ABOUT 1896

ra

20 / Diary
to

Goschenen, spent the night

walked to Andermatt, Hospental,

there, then

Gotthard, Airolo, Rodifiesso, and took the train to Bellinzona.

On

we stayed with a relative of Herr


we moved to their country estate in San
Mamette, where we remained about ten days, making many excursions during
the third day, to Lugano. Here
After two or three days

Pfyffer's.

that time.
Finally

we returned

When

left

to

Lugano and took the

was about twelve or thirteen

Beatenberg for Interlaken by carriage

back home.

train

took a

in the

with

trip

my

aunts.

We

morning, then crossed the

Brienzersee by boat, landed in Meiringen, thence to Alpnach and Lucerne

by way of the Briinig

Pass.

On

the next day, to Vitznau, and on the third,

back to Lucerne and to Bern by way of Langnau.

When
hospiz;

about

II.

gishorn; III.
to Leuk,

fifteen, a

student trip with Professor Tobler.

I.

Bern-Grimsel-

Grimselpass Glacier, by carriage to Fiesch, on foot to Hotel Eg-

Top

of

Mount

Eggishorn, Riederalp, Belalp,

down

to Brig. Train

on foot to Leukerbad; IV. Gemmispass-Kandersteg; V. Oschi-

On

nensee and back to Kandersteg.

foot

to

Train to Spiez-

Frutigen.

Bern.

When about seventeen


to Kandersteg.

traveled with Siegerist to Spiez

Lower Oschinenalp. Spent the night

(hut of the Bliimlisalp club). Here

per Oschinenalp, Hohtiirli

forced to remain two days, because of the fog, and to

On

the

first

morning we walked down

clear

and thence walked

to

Upwe were
we could.

in a shepherd's hut.

manage

as best

Bundalp, Kienthal, Reichen-

bach, and took the train to Bern.


Shortly before

my

graduation

school had sunk to a low point.


trip.

Instead

(my

first trip

ful,

and

finals, in

summer

the

of 1898,

was forbidden to take part

my work

in

in the student

spent a short while alone on Saint Peter Island in the Bielersee

with

my

sketchbook and pencils) The days were ideally beauti.

worked very hard.

made

the acquaintance of a Catholic priest and

we

visited the church in Ligerz, which had a handsome view. Beforehand we


had drunk copiously of the wine from the lake region, and the pious man had

become the

The

best of companions.

held our attention.

On

the island

fine stained-glass

windows

particularly

was attracted especially by the lower part

around the once isolated Rabbit Island; some flowers called "crown imperial,"

which didn't open

until evening,

grew there.

21 / Classical

had no schoolbooks with me;

cramming, which was much more


star,

and

After
volves

As usual

had

my painful
my lucky

faith in

obtained four points more than the

minimum.

minimum, and

it

also in-

risks.

glance.

At

first I

also able to reckon (until

veloped a passion for


tilted

recovered thoroughly from

sensible.

rather difficult to achieve the exact

Backward

63.

was

examination

at the

all, it's

High School

my

back on

(fifteen).

Then

girls.

was a

about

my

Then came

child.

Then

wrote nice essays and

eleventh or twelfth year).


the time

when

wore

my

Then

head and only buttoned the lowest button of

began

to consider myself a landscapist

my

coat

and cursed human-

would gladly have

left

school before the next to the last year, but

parents' wishes prevented

it. I

now

ism.

felt like a

martyr.

began to paint

in

Munich.

my

Only what was forbidden

pleased me. Drawings and writing. After having barely passed

examination,

de-

school cap

my

final

Munich;

First

of Study

1898-1899

Year

Having passed

65.

My

my last examinations, I went

Munich

to

October 1898.

in

mother, worrying about me, remembered one of Frick's acquaintances

named Otto Gack. These were honest people from


working

class

and therefore hard

to bear.

As

For a long time

been sent to

felt sorry

about

me

Herr Gack had come to fetch


frustrated

days

and overripe

soon

into the habit

fell

my

my

was not

fault.

farm

at the railway station. His son, a

me

had

opinion.

to find a room.

Two

daughters, one

for marriage, the other a rather thin adolescent

who

the sights in town.

Two

or three Sun-

was invited to dinner; the food tasted rather strange.

And

then

to handicraft school,
I

Still, it

without being asked for

this family

worker jobless at the time, had helped

went

it.

and gradually stayed away

of repaying their kindness with harsh ingratitude,


altogether.

much

Swabia, but pretty

a result,

me

showed

simply

couldn't bring myself to go any more.

At

first I

on Amalienstrasse,

lived

in the

home of a doctor's widow. My first


who then directed the Academy,

business step was to go to see Herr Lofftz,

with

my

landscape sketches.

me,

as preparation for the

me

with great

gave

me some

joy.

Upon

assistance

The atmosphere

He was

Academy,
Knirr's

a kindly

recommendation,

and brought

of the studio

man, praised

my

work, and sent

to Knirr's private school. Knirr

made

me

to Dury's to

welcomed

Herr Loh from Basel

buy paper and

a special impression

pencil.

on me. The ugly

woman with the flabby flesh, bloated breasts, disgusting pubic hair
now to draw her with a sharp pencil!
I did my duty and set to work. Knirr remarked: "For the time being,
say anything," a

comment which

First Lieutenant (Ret.)

line

and the

that earned

Soon

did not exactly encourage me.

came over

tactile process to

to

me

me. This

me praise and applause. Now

was

won't

certain

and explained the motion of the


liked,

Then

and soon

produced works

began to enjoy Munich.

and he introduced me to his best


and Hondsik, with whom I immediately went to have
restaurant on Akademiestrasse. The new master, Slataper from

became one

of Knirr's hopefuls,

students, Lichtenberger

lunch in a

22

23 / Munich; First Year of Study 1898-1899

man, joined

Trieste, a good, sweet

us.

In short,

was

Academy any

student. K. hardly thought about the

off to a career as a

Knirr

longer. Rightly so.

After I had achieved success as a Knirr student, drawing nudes began to


some of its glamour, and other matters, problems of existence, became
more important than glory in Knirr's school. Occasionally I even played

66.

lose

Then too, I didn't in the least see (and I was right) how art could
come from diligent studies of the nude. This insight, however, was an
unconscious one. Life, of which I knew so little, attracted me more than

hooky.
ever

anything

seemed

else: still,

to

me

my

regarded this as a kind of scampishness on

that

had no strength

of character

whenever

part. It

heeded the

inner voice more than orders from the outside.

In short,
evitably.

And,

had

of

first

become

to

all

naturally, relations with

man:

women

art

would then follow

were part of

acquaintances was Fraulein N., from Halle on the Saale.


mistake, to be sure

which the world,

this

and

fitted to

"life," for better or

no longer important
Perhaps

free

to

me,

me

worse revolves.

considered her

to those mysteries

Much

later,

in-

my first

of

when

by
around

she was

learned about her unhappy love for a singer.

was a good thing

introduce

One

it.

for

me:

this

way, the lady couldn't get her hooks

into me.

had met her

in a

Professor V. in Bern,
I

went over into the

ladies'

to a girl

for

me

to study.

troduced to

from East

Prussia.

daughter of

there, suddenly spoke to

camp, where the nude model,

sexually very excitable, could be seen

me

(mixed) evening course in nude drawing.

who knew me by sight from

mulatto

from the back. The Swiss

girl

me.

who was

introduced

pondered whether she was the right subject

But the stimulus was too weak. The right one was to be inthe following evening; it was the N. previously mentioned.

me on

blonde, blue-eyed thing, with a soprano voice and more elegant.

near her without further ado and walked next to her on the

stayed

way home.

We

admired the wintery beauty of the Leopoldstrasse, whose trees were heavy
with snow, glittering in the light cast by magic arc lamps.

when we

apples for her, and


one.

At the church

step toward the

fair,

Holy

enormously amused

which was soon

of Holies.
at seeing

carried a

bag of

took leave in the Schellingstrasse, she gave


to be held,

Hummel,

me

in love.

hoped

a Swiss fellow

Perhaps

me

to take a further

from Gottlieben, was

really was,

but certainly

24 / Diary I
only because
little

wanted

intimacy

be in

to

love. After the feast

had obtained and

the Isartal with

some

again on idiots.

When

meet her more

to

fellow students,
I

sought to maintain what

vowed never

saw Munich lying

often.

During

walk to

to waste such a landscape

in the distance,

thought:

if

only

she were here and those boors there! Fraulein N., however, was there; in fact,

she was sick in bed.


I

didn't

good wishes

to send her a note with

fail

When she turned up at the drawing course again,


and expressed her gratitude by presenting

Dutch costume she had worn

my nude

about one of

praise

me

it

was quite charming, even

When she went so

studies,

recovery.

emotionally

with her photograph in the

at the peasant ball;

though her hands might have been smaller.

word of

me

prompt

for a

she thanked

far as to utter a

was time to make

it

steered the conversation to the subject of the Isartal

move.

and how beautiful

was

it

She pounced on the hint at once: "Do you plan to go there some
Then I'll come along." I was delighted, and on one of the first days of
spring we carried out the project, and of course went out to Grosshesselohe.
The next rendezvous was in Starnberg. Fraulein N. had been visiting there
there.

time?

for

two weeks.

We had decided

to

meet

no

trace of her. Relying solely

on

my

After a while
it

was

she,

my

quicken

step.

a lucky

chance

in this

But

was

the day was saved.

We

sailed

with which he

my

party to

Werther, and

had

wanted
free,

We

to go.

but since

good reason to chase

made by

Frenchman

also

remember

this delicate miss

course

her.

And

it

to her,

that

was not aware of the

had some defect or other that kept

me

"la jolie petite

of his
a fine,

we enjoyed

a thunderstorm, just
in the evening.

realized that she didn't guess

was powerless because


fact, I

so

had

was able to pay her

was inclined to shiver


I

members

strayed along a thousand side streets, but never

Of

me

Impatience made

called the attention of the other

As our friendship became warmer,


tentions.

strolling in the distance. If

place!

around the lake on the steamer. There

companion. By recounting

objective compliment.
as in

but there was

to look for her.

ran faster and was able to persuade the frightened

and that

the satisfaction of hearing the remark

blondine"

huge

went out

She thought she was being pursued by an adventurer and

started running too.


it

saw a lady who resembled her

what

creature that

at the railway station,

instinct,

my

my real in-

where

lady no longer

really

felt herself

sometimes got the feeling that

from being successful with women.

25 / Munich; First Year of Study 1898-1899

PENXIL STUDY AT KNIRR

The maternal
ness of

SCHOOL,

1<

tone that she sometimes assumed with

my position.

She even scolded

me

for

my

slightly

Nonetheless, the interruption of our relations by a


for

weeks was unpleasant to me.

friend to visit her once

more

When

filled

me

was again

me

visit

free,

with expectations.

tea with her in the best bourgeois fashion.

Then we

bore out the

false-

stooped posture.
that absorbed

the invitation of
I

me
my

spruced up to have

strolled

about most

properly in the English Garden and, on the way back, dropped into a bar for
beer.

We took an ironic pleasure in this conventional side of the affair.

Again

in

May we went

out to the Starnbergersee and walked a way along

the right shore. At a particularly beautiful spot she took off her shoes and
stockings and

my

waded out some distance


humorous emphasis.

pad, with a

in the water.

sketched her then on

26 / Diary I

My young lady finally moved to the landscape school in Worpswede. After


we had drunk a last cup of tea in an idyllic garden pavilion, in the presence of
a third girl who hung cherries around my ears, we shook hands with comradely
vigor. Later as I walked alone down the road, I said "phew!" and spat. How
dishonest it all had been, not in the least like the new, unknown experience I
had looked
Still,

for.

in the period that followed immediately,

a girl friend.

suffered especially

end of the year

at Knirr's school.

landscape from her.

Two
came
I

years later

my room

to

had

it

in

I felt

bothered by not having

Burghausen, where

was yet to receive

saw

my

girl

friend again briefly.

relationship.

beautiful; her delicate face

went

at the

parents.
first

time, she

and
Her protracted sadness hadn't made her

in the Catholic Casino.

new

my

For the

She was now

maternal letter and a

gave this study, in a carved frame, to

just started a

more

from

was

just a

free of her singer,

touch faded, a hint that she

wouldn't marry, that she would give lessons in watercoloring to adolescent


boys and

Music, for me,

67.

Fame as
Writer,

So

girls.

68.

is

a love bewitched.

a painter?

modern poet? Bad

have no

Many

calling,

and

joke.

loaf.

paradoxes, Nietzsche in the

air.

Glorification of the self

and of

the drives. Boundless sexual drive. Neo-ethics.

69.

and

Force demands forceful expression. Obscenity

as expression of fullness

fertility.

BURGHAUSEN 1899
70.
sik to

In Burghausen

buy paints and

wanted
a box.

dorf at the River Inn, the


didn't care whether

to start painting. Therefore


left for

little train

went with Hond-

the trip loaded with luggage. In Miihl-

went

off

without me.

didn't mind.

spent the night in Burghausen or here. Miihldorf sur-

27 / Munich; First Year of Study 1898-1899


prised

me

with

its

southern architecture.

Inn nearby. The next morning

gre^.t

ately rented a splendid

attained a certain
idled,

room

manual

month. Painting was


and brought

off

Among my

impressed me, and

but

immedi-

but

soon

bold studies. Besides, one

later

found

shall

mention

Blittersdorf,

who more than once

quite well later in

Rome. Karfunkle, who wanted

certain fire in

it.

portrait refused

Naturally

we

Regarded Lenbach
by the

whom

it

know

got to

had

enemy because he had had

line

Artists' Society.

depended on the

the high-school professors


in the early

An American Jew whose

as his mortal

wasn't

work hard and often

constituted a kind of locust plague for the

hausen. However,

Once

to

Trapp, a good fellow

a substitute in the horrible Lorenz.

actually started at five in the morning.

whose accounts of

deplored the fact that

from Darmstadt, who was always raving about Schmoll,

we

tourist trade

insulted ever frowned

morning hours we

led the way, after asking the night

on

visited a very

watchman

town

and shut an

eye.

of Burg-

None

of

us.

queer dive. Blittersdorf

for the address. It

was obvious

weren't wanted there, and sinister faces soon admonished us to clear out.

Herr Granichstatten showed up and had himself trumpeted

genius. Frau Knirr believed in him.

he

difficult,

girls.

colleagues,

Sicily

we

The

enchanting.

drank beer, and over in Austrian Ach, good red wine. But there was a

great shortage of

girl,

for a

dexterity

The evening was

pushed on to Burghausen.

tried to

compose

He was

as a

musical

handsome, stout Jew. Later

operettas, after an attempt to sing his

own

serious songs

had earned him catcalls in Munich. (Frau Knirr fled from the concert hall.)
As fruits of my labor, besides the lightning oil sketches, I brought a humorous
sketchbook back to Bern. In order not to have to go back to Munich, I chose
the following itinerary: Salzburg-Innsbruck-Buchs-Sargans-Zurich-Bern.

RGH AU S EN-S ALZB U RG 1899


accepted the invitation of Ziegler the engraver to

71.

Before leaving

him

in his little castle nearby.

barks of a monstrous dog.

When

liked

it

rang the bell

visit

was deafened by the

better upstairs. Ziegler

showed

me

material for the book he was planning on engraving. There was something

his
at-

28 / Diary
tractive

about his laboratory. Less attractive was

his

me

attempt to separate

from Knirr, even though he may have intended to be objective.


I

departed in old-fashioned

man's

my

seat,

arms

filled

through charming countryside, as

Here

funny

little train

by mailcoach.

style,

arrival

me

and

was

As a

last

move, drank
noteworthy

reached

my

first

in the

wonderful

for

quite well, since

deep

my

on

which

was

Hotel ''Blue Goose" was not

arrival at the

city in

drafts,

and

staircase.

was constantly on the


dutifully inspected the

with the help of a small guidebook.

sights in the vicinity

goal.

room; the window opened on the

me

arrangement suited

idyllic

W., who

in a strange land, abroad, completely

my

result,

was given the

no time

in

trotted

with pleasant conversation; here

was greeted by an extraordinary rainstorm

quite unprepared.

very brilliant.

This

time

for the first

My

We

I'm not mistaken.

if

stood waiting. As far as Freilassing, a Herr

transferred to an express train

Now

Tittmoning

far as

was going to Reichenhall, entertained

own.

climbed on the coach-

with an enormous bouquet of flowers.

recall

mainly the Mozarteum, the Monchsberg, the Cathedral, the great fountain, a
restaurant

up on the

hill

where there were foreigners and music, the cemetery,

the off-pitch chimes.

But when
purchased

mained, but
ever,

On

my

my

was superb.

started melting away,

my

paid

first

cautiously

hotel. After that, not

in Austria, too,

good

trains

much

re-

were more expensive, and

financial reserves proved sufficient.

Swiss fifty-centimes

last possession.

the other hand,

man

Then

was probably enough for a good lunch somewhere. Fate, how-

it

had ordered that

coin was

my money

ticket to Bern.

was glad that

ing a

few days

after a

my

next to
It's

me

was

of

full

good humor;

it

even stood the

test of see-

The weather

having a tempting meal served to him.

pleasant to see places like Zell-am-see, Kitzbiihel, Innsbruck,

Landeck, Vaduz speeding by your window.

On

the whole,

was, as a "Swiss,"

slightly disappointed in this part of the Alps.

Buchs came
centimes for a

as a

ham

kind of salvation in that

sandwich and a

was able to exchange

lukewarm Swiss

glass of

Wallensee, darkness came and

worm gnawing

find a connection to

fine to

at

me: would

manage from Salzburg

And work

it

Bern on

to

did: at 2 a.m.

gradually

fell

fifty

arrived in

my

asleep with only one last

Bern

centimes,

in Zurich? It

it

really

my hometown.

fifty

beer. After the

had

little

was so

to work.

awakened

my

29 / Munich; First Year of Study 1898-1899

mother by whistling the Mime-motif and soon


first

BERN,
With

72.

my own

lay again in

bed

SUMMER VACATION, 1899

Siegerist, a

mountain-climbing friend,

made

a fine trip into the

We

region of the Faulhorn, which then took a rather unexpected turn.

by

Thun,

train to

falls

in the direction of the

Schwarzhorn.

We

summit

of the Schwarzhorn.

Then down

we took

stretch of loose stones; in a dale

disagreed as to which direction to follow.

we turned

spent the night in a

mountain hut, lying on the straw above some quarrelsome


for the

went

Interlaken, Brienz, Meiringen, then walked to the water-

of Reichenbach and the pass of the Grosse Scheidegg. Here

northward

for the

many months.

time in

pigs. II.

Departure

the other side, over a pathless

the direction of the Faulhorn.

My

We

companion was stubborn; be-

me and demanded that I obey him. I didn't see


my strong sense of direction made me feel sure that I could find
my way alone. He followed his own direction, thinking that I'd soon be unhe

sides,

responsible for

felt

his point,

and

able to proceed any further.

quickly along

my own

But he had

alone on heavenly heights, and


I

to turn back, whereas

route that he soon lost sight of me.


I

easily

went

felt right, free

reached the top of the Faulhorn. There

asked for a cup of coffee and a piece of white bread; afterward

lay

down

the grass and for hours contemplated the clouds and the high peaks.
the familiar tiredness seized

me

trace.

What

not of the delicate

sort.

if I

saw Grindelwald below

couple of

me

in

girls'

and we

friend,

the party of

were a huntsman and she the game.


I

slept close to each other.

voices called

When

thought of the hotel prices there and pre-

ferred to spend the night in a hut 3,000 feet above sea level.

low took

Of my

When

followed them at some distance, constantly keeping

the light creature in sight, as


clearly

girl,

a splendid route he must have found!

Englishmen started

in

When

found the inn bustling with newcomers, a

group of Englishmen with a pretty


not a

so

and

When

him and begged him,

it

young

fel-

was already dark

in singing tones, to escort

them because they were late. The youth showed himself chivalrous, for he got
up without protest; I didn't object, because he took along his feet, which
didn't exactly sweeten my sleep. III. When I woke up he had not only re-

30 / Diary I
turned but had long since arisen.

made my

first

at least five in a row. In Interlaken


I

down to Grindelwald. I
downed many glasses of milk,
drank beer and ate ham sandwiches. Then

paid and went

pause in Zweilutschinen, where


I

whiled away the time in that town until the

met my comrade

again.

He

was

me

After he had failed to find


obsessed with the idea that

still

at the place

had had a

fall

yond the shadow

of a doubt.

He

When

somewhere.

my

mad

at each other

the people in

who was

friend,

regarded the case as settled be-

district,

spent the night up there while people hired

by him continued the search. Of course, without


not to be

where we had parted, he became

the "Hotel" Faulhorn claimed they had not seen me,

exhausted from having searched the

In Scherzligen

last train left.

quite excited and related his adventures.

However, we decided

result.

any longer, shook hands, and shared the extra

costs in brotherly fashion.

73.

On

August

25, 1899,

received a letter from

a motherly letter that cooled

Enough
Once

my

fondest fancies.

falsely, as a bit

dishonest

only wished to find out the mystery.

woman was

compared myself

that could

of

"I believe

My

anyone from the bottom of your heart?"

sonality of the
I

me:

in the course of a conversation she said to

"No," which struck me,


I

Worpswede. She wrote me

off for good, in spite of

of mothers.

actually love

truth.

me

when

Within

you don't

answer was a brash

uttered

it.

It

was the

certain limits the per-

no importance.

to a rock that

was cold

become burning hot under the

at night

and on overcast

days, but

sun.

bern, 1899
74.

Often

he uttered

had cheerful drinking

this beautiful sentence:

sessions with

"There

stances nothing remains for us but to

And we went
75.

is

my

no more

home. Once
Under the circum-

father at

beer.

show consideration

for die Alte."

to bed.

A comparison: The sun brews vapors

that rise

and

struggle against

it.

Munich;

31 /

On

76.

September

25, 1899,

Arense near Colombier to


with his parents.

German. His

and

went

had met him


about

it.

and from there by

to Neuchatel

young man named Bovet, who


at Knirr's

parents' house was very

cratically patriarchal

table

visit a

Year of Study 1898-1899

First

and taken

handsome;

it

pity

on

train to

lived there

his dreadful

had something

aristo-

After a prayer one sat around a gigantic circular

Then

ate great quantities of excellent food.

to the wine, until one

could no longer stand. In the afternoon the two of us drove to town in the

and

father's horse-carriage

to kitsch.

what he wants

paint

visited the

museum. Poor Bovet had

tendency

Imagine having such wealthy parents and not even being allowed to

painting to bring

to paint!

He had

had

already

to finish

an animal

to the exhibition in Neuchatel.

it

Later he served in the dragoons in Bern. Unfortunately, he never returned

my

visit.

77.

A short sample of the way

used, in those days, to

rhyme

in the popular

vein:
I.

Now Death has taken thee,


The

rosy red tone

thrown on falsely.
Curtains magic in their delicacy
Colored my love who was dead,
Is

Dead never
II.

to wake.

Tell me, you people,

what

shall

do,

O people?

My heart burns so,


Now I have no sweetheart more
To kiss and kiss
Oh,

if I

were a

once more.

little bird,

A little bird would know,


I

would

And

78.

burn.
fly

am

like the slope

Only the

fly

cool

to the distant seas that roar

my heart in the sea.

where the

resin boils in the sun,

witches' sabbath can cool me;

and immediately know where

a little lantern

fly

to

is lit.

it

where the flowers

in the

shape of

a fire-

32 / Diary I

MUNICH
79.

How we

successfully.

it,

ADDENDUM

talked with one another. For instance: one of us imitates a goat

Response: "Look what you can do." Or:

you have nothing


think of

I,

left

but your bare body?" "Pose

the day after tomorrow

is

a holiday, let's

"What
in the

have a

will

last

for the

When one of
buy you half
buy you cake
boot." "Man, be
quite wonderful!" "You've got time

one who

still

had money.

whole hour

That

is

I'll

to

pint,

satisfied!

it;

but when

things worse

wanted

and

to

When

if

to leave

you stay a

Aren't you alive!

to rest only while you're

"So, now we
celebrate your birthday; what
were you born
When Karfunkle put on
"Now he puts on hole again."

alive."

for?"

I'll

in itself

made

us, at night,

the tavern: "Stay a half hour more,

"Come

one!"

both of us were broke, there was always something nice about


only one was broke, then the continuous borrowing only

you do once

nude."

(Presuhn.)

shall

else

his socks:

Munich

II,

1899-1900

Haller

80.

an architect
ready

felt

now

also

came

to

Munich; he had

his

way, instead of becoming

He entered Knirr's school, and when I came, he alhome there. As a matter of fact, his friendship with

in Stuttgart.

very

much

at

made good

"the best student in ten years" had been quite useful to him; he
use of

it

when he introduced

himself. Besides this, there

prising nature,

which even then could be quite

made

all

the studio

the

more

congenial.

including some Swiss, formed around

What

Chief

gives this joke

its

us;

irresistible.

they

felt free to

and irony on

point, for instance,

(85 years): "I believe that

his fresh, enter-

His laughter

Now a group of talented young people,

particularly that of venting their sarcasm

81.

was

am more

is

take every liberty,

outsiders.

that

it

really

happened:

destined to be a landscapist,

after all."

Chief

II

(84 years)

"Bah!

How can you be

sure of that yet?"

82.
I

sank most deeply in the arms of dream

When
It

was

kissed

you under the willow-tree.

burning

kiss,

And my temples hammered,

A cloud pack chased


Over everything below.
O power of night!

O deep splendor of this burning joy!


83.

Retrospect. Inspection of

and music.
in that

my

one

My

my

efforts to attain

single instance.

personality. In this

complete

more

self,

goodbye

said

refined sexual experience,

hardly think about

art,

to literature

abandoned

onlv want to work at

must be consistent and avoid

all

public attention.
33

34 / Diary I

That

I'll

eventually express myself through the

medium

of art

little

"Leporello catalogue" of

whom

the sweethearts

all

provides an ironical reminder of the great sexual question.


initial of
I

is still

the most

outcome.

likely

the

met the

The

name "Lily" with the remark "wait and see."


lady who was to become my wife in the autumn

didn't possess

list

ends on the

of 1899, while

was playing music.

You have

84.

(music

as a

fire

in

my soul,

from which sonorous flames

I tell

you

that,

stage.

if I

You who approach me and

will

someday

should pass on too soon, you would lose

much

me.
Flower of

86.

the silent

87.

fire,

human

want

at night

heart.

you replace the sun

for

me and

to hold your

till it

destroyed me.

88.

become

shine deeply into

February 1900.

head

in

my

hands, tightly in both hands, and never

make my

allow you to turn away from me. For suffering would

clearer in the storm,

and

life

fascinates

strength grow

me.

With the feeling that the development of my relation to Lily is


now I doubt the existence of love, it is turning to ordinary pity.

89.

hibited:

stead of adoring

Nature toys with

ceptive reflections. Distrust arises and slows

am

filled

with longing.

By Eveline

90.

would

call

down

my

curiosity

with a

girl

us.

Love looks upon

meant accomplishment, the

ideal.

The

and

reality

social inferior (after the

was an overt

besides, the satisfaction

about the sexual mystery. In plain words,

who was my

de-

circulation. Nonetheless,

her Eveline.

or latent struggle to achieve this ideal with Lily,

affair

in-

In-

analyze sharply and revealingly. Analysis turns ideal syn-

thetic traits into shameful flaws.

of

rise

of sublimation)

Fear of the beginner's

85.

understand,
in

started a fierce

way

New

had begun an

Year of 1900)

35 /
I

Some

well in "the storm of life."

felt

possible.

The

longing

gone, or else

is

it

rest

Munich

would be

1899-1900

11,

healthier, but im-

assumes a more tranquil form.

made

Alcoholic excesses were an organic part of the whole process. Entries


in the state of

drunkenness that followed long nightly parties must be deleted

here, for they invariably turned out to be completely incomprehensible.

3.6.1900. Lily

91.

not

is

gaiety after

all

does she say this to me? Every time


her:
ful

all;

she says that she

times

am

really disgusted.

Sketch of

92.

spring night has


ring.

Then mild

93.

The

poem. After

grown
rain

when

May

comes down

is

shall

wine

orgy.

Everyone

conciliatingly. All

is

forgiven.

I still

feel attracted to.

The name

Lily

written

is

The

relationship

95.

My

relationship to Fraulein Schiwago was very peculiar.

greatly,

Perhaps

down

the longing for complete happiness in

is,

love.

is

The

it.

Leporello catalogue turns up again.

Next comes Eveline, that

drunk.

the right profession grows stronger and

is

the only other thing

go back to

lies

storm breaks. Thunder makes the glasses

first

conviction that painting

am mature

The

94.

in full.

dark, the

stronger in me. Writing

not stated.

but without losing control of myself.

too close an attachment to Lily to do


I

Why

often sad.

is

more guilty toward her. I cannot tell


"Once again I have sinned against what would be best and most beautito have the right to seek and to find all my pleasure near you!" Somefeel

so,

admired her

probably already had within

without guarantees, without

me

risk, just

myself.

if

in

seemed

Moreover, Schiwago

at first

something

was going on, between Haller and

existed, or

1909 that she didn't approve of

had taken leave of each other

to

be unattainable because

this reticence

in April

on

my

short letter from Schiwago.

Among

looked

as

part.)

Afterward we

1900 until the following autumn, on an

evening at Schiwago's, strange because of the prevailing


Fraulein Wassiliew, Schiwago, and

it

her. (I only learned

were present); Haller

other things, she said:

mood

(Haller,

later received a

36 / Diary
"I

have the honor to take leave of Herr Klee and the sad pleasure to take leave

From which

of you."

deduced that Haller was

"Humor must

quoted these words of mine:

The

96.
first
I

want

act.

only extant alcoholic entry.


to see.

oppose.

theless.

hate.

persist.

doubt very much.

4.26.1900.

98.

wager.

ning

know.

do not envy.

must. While

Only

The most

At the end she

don't believe.

admit.

do not turn back.


weep. None-

quiet, only quiet!

composer made

brochure by Merian.

me especially. I drew composimy mistress visited me and detook my studies and compositions

agitated days pleased

morning ("Three Boys"). Then

clared herself pregnant. In the afternoon


to Stuck,

of Strauss' Zarathustra directed by the

on me. Read

great impression

tions in the

maintain.

beg!

create in hatred.

complete.

A performance

97.

closer to her.

help us get through anything."

who

accepted

me

in his

met Fraulein Schiwago

at

autumn class at the Academy. In the evethe Kaim concert. If I didn't sleep deeply

and soundly that night!

MAY I9OO, OBERHOFEN


To

99.

Eveline.

myself to you.
pletely!

did

Woe

promised you much.

First,

to guilt, perhaps
first

be a decent man.

want

it is

to prove

me com-

poisoned myself,

why

was basically too attached to the good for

that.

have no one but you!

wish to be an outsider?

But you would

To

must kneel before God. Then, Eveline, save


I

toyed with poison,

greater than

have to forgive

it.

If

thought. Oh, to forget

you can.

greet

you from

it

near you!

far off.

EXCURSION TO BEATENBERG WITH HALLER


AND SCHIWAGO
100.

In Beatenberg, where

became

clearly

had experienced

aware that a certain

my

first

worm was gnawing

erotic sensations,
at

my

soul after

all.

37 / Munich

The

living presence of Schiwago,

more incentive

who had an

In Sherzligen

petitor,

we rented

We

it.

who was

it

899-1900

us, Haller,

had undertaken an excursion to Thun.

I,

unwieldy boat from a fisherman and didn't

at

once and appealed to the fisherman's com-

The sweet

able to rent us a marvelous keeled boat.

of the Aare along the

we rowed

a rather

returned

ethical bent, provided even

moral considerations. The four of

to indulge in

Fraulein K., Fraulein Schiwago, and

get far with

II,

Bachimatt made

tremendous impression on

course

Then

us.

into the middle of the mirror-smooth lake as far as Merligen,

conversation and

idyllically friendly

pranks

little

Haller

amid

threw overboard

parasols. In Merligen we put in at a little slip


completely
brown and black farmhouse. Here we left our boat and
climbed uphill toward St. Beatenberg. Once there we stopped at the Hotel
Beau Sejour and ate an excellent lunch. Then we set up camp in the little

our

ladies'

overgrown

opened

of

wood and under my

leadership followed the lovely path over the ladder

Merligen. In the coolness of evening

my

we rowed back

dear aunts served us dinner on the landing.

next steamer to Bern, but


to Scherzligen the next

101.

From

to

Oberhofen, where

three comrades took the


I

brought the boat back

morning.

repeated observation

when

on, art absorbed

assured that
a worldier

Once,

its

in relation to the artistic content,


I

recognized that

the circumstances of

all

my

my

life

but in

was open to ethical

were clear and hopeful. Later

morality, and, as a moral person,

was absolutely

would end by being wholly absorbed by that world. Had

life, I

probably could not have avoided painful

in reply to

nobly that he

made

influence.

Lotmar,

Still,

on

he was not doing

the book was lacking in humor. Later,


idealism rose up again and
as a present to

my

me and drew

my

fiancee.

us.

when

it

led

conflicts.

inveighed against the book: he defended

a great impression

whereas Schiwago tried even-thing to save

it

to

Tolstoy's Resurrection was introduced into our circle by Schiwago. It

matters only

under

My

stayed in Oberhofen.

was too ethical for me, not only


itself.

down

and back, through the marvelous woods,

to the grotto of Saint Beatus

it

so

me, to some extent,

with any definite intention,

made much

became engaged, my

of the fact that

opinion of this book along with

it,

and

ethical
I

gave

38 / Diary I
In June, on the steamer Bubenberg,

102.

met Fraulein Helene M., from

Neuchatel. This pretty damsel of seventeen had been as a child the object of

my

great passion.

first

since then, while she

Often

103.

am

started thinking about

had remained

possessed by the devil;

so fraught with problems, did not

teased large snails in various ways.


lovelier

still if

that

me. The

irritates

possible,

is

birds'

am

all

and pure

fresh

my

make me
Now, in

had become of

that

me

as a forest brook.

bad luck

in the sexual realm,

better. In

Burghausen

had

the region of the Thunersee,

exposed to similar temptations. Innocence

song gets on

my

nerves,

trampling every

feel like

worm.

Excursion by night from Bern to Solothurn, on foot, and up to the

104.

Weissenstein in the morning; by four in the afternoon, back again in Solothurn.

The

walk, back

Bavarian beer-hall as sleeping quarters. Tired by the thirteen-hour

home by

train.

Bloesch and a third fellow took

it

upon themselves

to walk the additional stretch from Solothurn to Burgdorf

105.

of

drew up the outline of a

my

artistic

quential

it all

From time

last will.

endeavors be destroyed.

was

in

to time

comparison to the
I

In

it I

well

asked that

all

existing proofs

knew how meager and

possibilities

inconse-

sensed.

collapsed completely into modesty, wished to produce

humor magazines. Later I might still find occasion to illusmy own thoughts. The results of such modesty were more or less so-

illustrations for

trate

phisticated technical-graphic experiments.


It is

convenient to define a thwarted act of will as a crazy mistake.

OBERHOFEN, AUGUST 19OO


106.

scape?
tains

Nowhere I wanted to stay; of what use, then, was a delightful landThe dryads' chatter bored me. The bells of the herds up in the moun-

had sounded there

before.

On

the water the despair of loneliness lurked

around me. Unconsciousness was what

needed, not recreation.

felt

drawn

39 /
to the city.

way

it.

to reach

shall

wrongly lead

Munich

never be capable of entering a brothel, but

a vegetable life, like the

1899-1900

II,

know

the

blossoms of the flowers behind the

am a captive animal. For inner and


How long shall my soul carry these chains? Can
love?
One can be afflicted without being un-

iron fence in the castle at Oberhofen.

outer bonds remain alike.

one ever find peace

in

happily in love. Even there.

During

human

In a

107.
it

heavy storm,

men

stand godless on the shore and

instead of sacrificing

lives,

poem

them

moan

for a

few

in worship.

sang a song to sorrow with such pathetic conviction that

personified itself in the desired

woman,

in

whose embrace

it

was good to

die.

This summer leaves

108.
far

enough

autumn. As
are already
It is

to

me

too

much time

work without model and

for thinking.

have not got

school. Finally evening came,

numbed by the day and its cares I awake and notice


falling. And on this soil must I now sow? In winter am
if

and

that leaves
I

to

hope?

going to be gloomy work. But work, anyway.

autumn 1900
109.

The comparison

my

of

frequently returns as a motif.


root of this.

"Autumn

here.

is

soul with the various

My poetic-personal
The

current of

moods

of the countryside

idea of landscape

my

soul

is

lies at

the

followed by stealthy

fogs."

110.

season

Eveline finally turns into the


is

my

low point.

enter. Outside, too, there are

comes empty. Only

my

born the poem. Surely


that the

me

no

my

all

traces of any.

brain, like a

its

of

disconsolateness. This

Not

brown spot

utterance brought

me

At times all beThus was


relief. It also meant

a hint.

in this waste.

great

had not been endured completely in vain. At least,


had been cast into another form. I composed poetry at the

summer

one part of

Muse

look vainly toward the door. Salvation does not

of 1900

40 / Diary

end of August.

song about Eveline.

tired

was led

because of

astray,

unconsciously successful work, into conceiving similar ones consciously and


deliberately: this
I

understood

111.

I.

a mistake that

was to make again and again,

until

it.

Eveline a green dream under foliage, the dream of a naked

call

was

and was able to avoid

it

on the meadow.

child

But

was denied such happiness

forever,

when

came among people and

could no longer leave them.

Once,

noonday

freed myself from the hold of pain experienced

and

on the burning mountain

and

fields

again: she

was

Do

II.

March

it.

slope.

There

fled into

the

found Eveline

but not aged. Only tired by a summer.

riper,

Now I know
gift.

lay

But

see,

only surmised

it,

as

sang

this.

Be

gentle to

my

not frighten the nakedness in search of slumber.


threatens us with

my

summer; you threaten

soul with burning

love, Eveline!

May
I

still

waxes green. These are

many

sharpened

The edge was


whom?

still

a steely word.

blunted.

How

cradle songs.

wished to be a rock amidst the

wish to kneel down,

Worms wanted to console me. Am


III.

so miserable?

humility.

Then I am

tide.

But before

disgusted.

Ah, too much sun rose over me! Endless days without night. Forever

I wanted to find again my


dream under the foliage. Where is it?

singing light.

No

all

early

house

in the

green shade,

my

crawling into hiding offers a delusion of evening to the dazzled one,

he rubs flames into

his eyes.

The awakened was not

at all asleep.

He

speaks in a toneless voice: you tired

song.

And this
IV.

is it,

the tired song.

Hear the summer chirp

in the fields

hear the hoarse lark in the


Eveline.

Queen

Only the smallest

in

air

midday.

creatures are

still

zealously active, ants,

flies,

and

beetles.

4 i / Munich

But me, the midday peace


the thin carpet of

V.

still

thyme and

recall the

must look on

burn on

a dry bed,

am

all fire

on

brier.

moon's mildness. But now

The snow

it.

paralyses.

1899-1900

II,

copulate on me, and

flies

melts from the mountains; even there

shall

not

We

are

dried

up

find coolness.

And
saints,

I
I

must stay.
Your glance
became one through you.
.

Do

VI.

not

from

flee

the marshes of

my

soul,

my

me

bids

be

proximity! Trust! Recognize!

now you

are

hidden

Eveline.

silent,

You have

Your

in clouds.

victory shall be

complete.

VII.

When

reality

is

no longer endurable,

seems

it

that you yourself

This

VIII.

is

come down

the great day,

all

aglow with

112.

The

individual,

into sin.

There

positive

and the negative.

exists,

day,

The

which destructively

is

still all is

natural

rises

however, something higher


It

deceptive illusion,

love. Shall there

it is

Religious thoughts begin to appear.

maintains.

and consolation near me.

to find shelter

too, a twilight? Shall a goddess fall? Still

dream dreamt

like a

with open eyes. Continue, dreadful dream, near Eveline.

yet,

be an end here

aglow with

is

love.

the power that

above the general,

falls

which stands above the

the all-mighty power that contemplates and

leads this struggle.

Before this all-mighty power

was

113.

might stand the

test,

and

to stand

it

ethically

my wish.
Relapse into the popular tone.

long, through day

and

My hope,

night, nothing can

whisper, no heaven and no paradise,

my

alas, it

tempt

me

heart's flame

is

is

gone.

have waited

any more.
dying.

No

sweet

Munich HI,
1900-1901

Poem

120.

III really

was the only

fruit

fit

for survival

which

had produced

until then. It

is

quite understandable that other poetic attempts should have

But

it

was no use to preserve

followed.

exercises in style.

these,

which were

even dabbled in dramatic writing.

in part only studies,

sequence of scenes

was called

5.

The dancing Eve.


The Evil One and men.
The liberating hero.

7.

Execution and resurrection.

1.

3.

Twenty-one

121.

to fare with

my

2.

4.
6.

years old!

chosen

art?

be a poet, Lord knows what

me,

for

all

122.

To

else

arts!

And

am

should

is

a lord

be a student of Stuck sounded good. In

coming

to

way

that the storm rages

who commands

him with

reality,

to progress. Since the tone provided

mastery of form,

however,

Later, in his

Had
to

do

once

sought to find as

was to be gained

at this time, to

made

in such desperate straits.

Then

brought a

found

it

hard

at Stuck's. Naturally

be deficient in the realm of


a similar

judgment on

the nature of painting as clear to

had penetrated

was not

it

mood predominated strongly in my


much profit as possible here at least.

monograph, Kandinsky passed

this teacher

later,

by

in this respect, a great deal really

was not the only one,

the chaos.

sound mind

thousand pains and many prejudices. In the realm of color

And,

it

have to

really

is

a poet, after

should desire. Certainly, a sea swells within

once and that nowhere

half so splendid. Instead of

But how

vital force.

recognition that at bottom

a hopeless state, to feel in such a

I feel. It is

sides at

my

never doubted

The

should be no hindrance in the plastic

all,

on

The suffering of men.


The use of violence.
The poet.

as

was able

would not have found myself


on what I might gain besides from

far deeper,

reflected

me

color.

this school.

42

nil

ii

1NDS "i PAU1

Kl

MATHILDE KLEE ERNST


7

FRICK,

PAUL KLEE, BERN,

8S6

HANS KLEE, THE ARTIST

FATHER, HOFWY1

1925

IDA KLEE,

NEE FRICK, MOTHER OF PAUL KLEE, 1876

PAUL

ki

r. Bl

kv

LILY KLEE (WIFE OF PAUL KLEE), MUNICH, 1906. PHOTOGRAPH BY PAUL KLEE

P.U'I

KI

PAUL KLEE, LANDSHUT, 1916

4UL KLEE's STUDIO IN MUNICH, WERNECKSTRASS


HOTOGRAPII BY PAUL KLEE.

1919.

PAUL KLEE, LANDSHUT, 1916

PAUL KLEE's STUDIO IX MUNICH, WERNECKSTRASS

PHOTOGRAPH BY PAUL KLEE.

PAUL KLEE, WEIMAR, 1922

FELIX KLEE PUPPET

III!

All R;

PUPPETS AND DECOR BY PAUl Kill

DEVIL IN THE MAGIC BOX ) WEIMAR,


,

1(;2 2

EASP1

AM)

III

PAUL KLEE

STUDIO IN THE BAUHAUS, WEIMAR, 1924. PHOTOGRAPH BY PAUL KLEE

FROM LEFT TO

RIGHT: FELIX, PAUL, AND EFROSSINA

RAILROAD

KIM

IN

1111

i *d
WASSILY KANDINSKY, PAUL KLEE, AND NINA KANDINSKY, DESSAU-WORLITZ, 1932

PADL

KI

PAUL KLEE IN

HIS STUDIO IN BERN, I94O

43 /

man.

this influential

them

He

original.

December

in

me

them

to try to sell

But the Jugend

to the Jugend.

me.
an eventful day.

24, 1900,

started

with a

it

than ten marks and was invited to the Christmas-tree party by


First,

made

On

more

came

to

draw

me

in

my

work.

me

surprising spectacle greeted

the platform, instead of the model, stood a battery of wine bottles.

The model,
I

frequently

little

Lily's parents.

position as a student of Stuck, because the consideration that

enjoyed there stimulated

there.

where

a guest appearance at Knirr's,

my

in spite of

1900-1901

III,

submitted illustrations for his appraisal, and he called

advised

was not interested

123.

Munich

slightly tipsy,

wandered from hand

to hand,

from knee to knee.

climbed on a ladder and worked on a mural beneath the skylight.

When

returned in the afternoon things had developed even further.

Cenzi lay

sixteen-year-old

being sketched and painted.


into the

Red

Berta,

same giddying waters, soon

started babbling forth everything she

laughed,

fell

over

when

The

an upholstered armchair and was

softly asleep in

who had

joined

in,

had dived quickly

into the loveliest

fell

fit

of delirium,

knew, stamped her foot when anyone

she tried to walk. Herr Kluge chose this

moment

to

disappear and returned triumphantly with a bucket and a few bottles of cham-

pagne. This refreshed the

girls

and made us

slightly drunk.

near, everybody gradually left for his Christmas party.

invitation too,

more than

little

hair

is

am

undone and

fore the

lead

all
I

two of them

them

left

and

have an

the last to remain on the field of the orgy. This gives

trouble, the

vainly in the dark.

As evening draws

Although

two

the hairpins

lost.

Other

trifles

go out to buy new hairpins.


are able to take

right.

They

my arm

arc hungry.

me

don't want to leave alone. Cenzi's

girls still

are missing,

Some time

and

are sought

passes again be-

and venture out on the

street.

prop them up against the wall,

in

and buy food in the meantime. Then up to my room. They lie


down and I have the proud feeling of holding two women in my power. The
last moments pass in all kinds of daring pleasantries, but leave must be taken,
a doorway,

and

124.
I

show up

Now

was a

My

at Lily's slightly befuddled.

had achieved quite

satirist,

an

mistress' child

artist, a violinist.

had proved

good

One

unfit for

deal.

was

thing only
life.

a poet,

was

a playboy,

was no longer:

a father.

44 / Diary

Instead, there was the threat of debts, the threat of military service.

The

threat too of a fiasco in the longed-for ideal love.


It

was

a cross

Lily told

125.

between the divine and the shabby.

me

about her romance with

rather perplexed me.

That she

felt

a musician.

A step

forward, which

strongly in this direction

sensed from

the tone of her voice (12.26.1900).

The Christmas Eve with Cenzi and Berta was to have a little afterOn December 28th the four of us (Jean de Castella completed the
foursome) went to a variety show. We aroused some attention there, for we
126.

math.

were

conspicuous gentlemen, after

slightly

full-length dresses. Later

by

night, swept
to her house.

a northeastern storm,

She

all,

when we brought
it

and our

the

girls

something or other about


first.

When

a hotel while

were not wearing


in a horribly cold

turned out that Cenzi had no key

tried to arouse her people's attention

one reacted. Whereupon we brought Berta home.

ment came

ladies

home

by

ringing,

What now?

we walked back

We

to town.

opened the front door, Cenzi sneaked

but no

mumbled

My
in

being invited. Jean sadly said goodbye. Thus, without actually trying,

made

Added

a conquest.

Herr N.'s mistress.

model who posed

to this

was the

fact that

had

Cenzi was said to be

don't want to idealize matters, Cenzi was a

in the nude. But,

apart-

without

Munich

being only sixteen, she didn't yet belong

to the scum.

127.

This

affair

with Cenzi lasted only until January

10, 1901.

When

her

former friend came back from his Christmas holiday, she faithfully returned
into his arms.

quite to

my

At

first this

taste.

was quite painful to me, for the business had been

Cenzi demanded no

in the polite plural.

lover's vows, she

even addressed

me

used the intimate form of address with her, and always

found her to be an even-tempered, reasonable creature. Not a trace of


garity in her. After the first night, she

wrote

me the following letter:

vul-

45 / Munich

Munich, December

III,

1900-1901

1900

29,

Dear Herr Klee,


Promised you to write you at once, which I am now doing.
At home, everything went quite smoothly, only my father

me

gave

long sermon on morals, which

did not enjoy very

much.
However,

Now

had reason

must

it.

to

you by word of mouth. Above

tell

it

was not

my

fault;

woman, which,

like ever)'

as a

just

could not say

Herr Klee,

all,

You

be very discreet, particularly with Herr N.

admit that

was no more

to be glad that there

you something which

to

have

beg you to

yourself

must

my weak moments,

matter of

now

fact, I

deeply

regret.

And may you


ashamed indeed
tion to

what took place that

forget

you

to write

this,

but

must

night;

call

am

your atten-

it.

And do

not think badly of me, for both of us must bear

the guilt together.

But

let us

remain good friends and forget the

obedient Cenzi R.
I

128.

shall see

past.

Your

each other again next week.

shall visit you.

Beginning of January 1901. In the

diverted

me

from

a bit

In the second place,

my

ing relations with

me

We

Lily. It

first

relief

suddenly found myself totally incapable of maintain-

love from me. She was entitled to the

through the clumsy childbirth.


this

a bit of

money because

girl also

had

money and

visited
a bit of

of the injury incurred

already mentioned the fact that

we were

uncomfortable pressure. Neither spring, money, nor

love could be said to be gushing forth generously.

The money went

from that unclearness.

former mistress any longer. This

from time to time during the winter to take

soon freed from

Cenzi

place, the adventure with

was a kind of

flowing just as long as

planned to turn over to her

still

a certain part of every

The

love dried up

first.

owed something. I had


sum received from home,

46 / Diary

But now she suddenly


so pleasing to

me

that,

last tete-a-tete,

after

lived

all,

obligations by the time of the

Munich
air

was

summer
The

to accept a job elsewhere.

by borrowing

The

her demands at once.

Our

my
left

be freed of

in order to

a considerable

sum,

vacation.

idea was

was able to

satisfy

clear again after a year-long disturbance.

without love and hatred,

no thorns behind.

left

We had,

some joyous hours.

now

away from me and only

129.

Since Cenzi too

in the

popular vein remained of that adventure,

stayed

few weak poems

was again completely

avail-

At the peasant ball, on February 5, 1901, I


she me, until the distance between us was very

able for the nobler sort of love.

approached Lily again, or


small.

of

But immediately afterward she drew back

mood.

It

was

blows without grace,

exciting,

and

again,

fisticuffs.

called

it

a matter

was sad and

felt

the urge to roam. But where?

Completely drunk one night,

130.

ject of Lily.

was even

How

a variation

variation words that

filled

about jealousy in

it.

is

the power of your image, a charming face

Once

my

diary with fancies

on the sub-

Sensuality ran amok. In the final

we had exchanged appeared

Ash Wednesday. The drunkenness

131.
is

deeply everything that came from her sank into me. There

again the English Garden

is

for the cantus firmus.

gone, but stronger than

my

misery

among masks.

the scene of

my

feelings

and confused

emotions.
I

swear,

Lily
her,

on

my

and shortly

effects

She

not-altogether-stainless honor, that

and again
on

my

tells

Lily.

Once more

feel

132.

can

soon grow

my

tired.

feelings

toward

As

for the

shall say nothing.

me, somewhat formally, that we

elicit a

shall

thereafter, again shaken. Neither path nor bridge.

studies,

the gracious young lady. Nonetheless,


else

strengthened in

will

continue our duo-playing,

woman. Nothing

think only of the

reaction from me.

My nights

were not always good. Once, however,

and strengthened

had the strength

in the

morning. Spring was here, and

to enter

its

kingdom alone

(I

want

really felt refreshed


I

was confident

to forget myself

and

47 / Munich
think of you beyond the mountains).
that
I

It

way to regain my
muddled business through renunciation.

thought, was the quickest

this

The

133.

repelled

to

move

in this social sphere.

made me

study Brahms' A-major Sonata,

because

had understood

The musical

much

in

Opus

to

as

it

triumph

in

downright

activity was, to

and was

100,

one hour. Long

enthusiastic, after a nocturnal session at the

he became very famous

134.

And

strength.

"But you play marvelously," which he spoke

his words:

and

so

me

be

For instance, the evening with Straube, who

sure, very stimulating at times.

in

of her entirely. This,

doings at Saedt only half pleased me. Sometimes

me

1900-1901

was already nested so deeply

up the thought

preferred to flee myself than give

III,

after,

as

we

so enthusiastic
I

kept hearing
parted, drunk

Cafe Stefanie. Soon

after,

an organ player and a conductor.

Jean de Castella praised the profundity of an English saying. Asked to

translate

it,

he produced the following:

With right and knowing,


With wish and will,
Let knowing help

And

On March
Where
135.

did

My

it

2,

my

take place

in the roots?

restless life left a passing trace in

compositional exercises.

this condition,

will.

1901, in Starnberg, he inquired about the sexual act of plants.

heart bothered me, especially during


of

right,

wish be quicker than

and

my

Still, I

my

my

sleep.

body. Nervous pains in the

The

heart

did everything

became the theme

could to rid myself of

future father-in-law achieved a medical triumph with

me.

136.

Thoughts about the

truthfulness of

my

Some

art of portraiture.

mirror. Let

them remember

that

will
I

am

not recognize the

not here to

reflect

the surface (this can be done by the photographic plate), but must penetrate
inside.

My

mirror probes

down

to the heart.

write words on the forehead

48 / Diary

and around the corners of the mouth.

My human

faces are truer than the

real ones.

In the spring of 1901

137.

the art of

life;

and

sion, the plastic arts;

138.

Why

I.

drew up the following program:

First of

all,

then, as ideal profession, poetry and philosophy; as real profes-

an income, drawing

finally, for lack of

do men race on

like

illustrations.

Who

storm-driven waves?

blows on

them, what wind? The wind of their desires blows on them. But their

desires

are vain.
I

am

on them.

a sailor afloat

Shining hope rows

goal.

how

Alas,

My

to the

ship

strong and shall carry

is

most beautiful

roughly the surf breaks against

best to be shattered here,

No,

me

my

it,

me

to the

island.

courage almost sinks.

Is

my

me, you shining hope?

tell

am young and my arm

is

strong.

must reach the

island,

were

it

with the largest mountains, and were the highest of them called loneli-

filled

ness.

Forward, you free breeze up there. Forward, you foam of the breaking

II.

can look

still

further.

have reached the

ing surf without extinguishing

It is alive, it

it.

island,

devours.

sea.

vanquished the break-

My

highest mountain

wet grave, a wide

shall totter.

The

battlesong of the waves has subsided.

The world

is

waste.

The

light goes out, dark

Night to us

139.

all!

must be the end. In

day, life renews

itself.

We will fight manfully before that night. Let life come

have started a new

life.

ground. All was permitted me,

And

this

believed,

time

my

I'll

succeed.

lay

first.

low on the

strength could be savored to the

utmost.
I

went to the

from such
I

fools'

dance, a dirty knave.

The maiden's

love has freed

me

me

to-

a figure.

recognized

my

misery,

and that

half expelled

it.

Fright pulled

gether.
I

want

to

become

serious

and

better.

The

kiss of

the dearest

woman

has

49 / Munich
taken

from me.

all distress

My aptitude

sculpt.

is

work.

will

will

become

good

1900-1901

III,

Learn to

artist.

primarily formal in nature. Carry this recognition with

me.

me

Stuck thought he could advise

140.

to paint again later,

would

to turn to sculpture; should

good use

find

what

for

me

Rumann. As

to go to

a student of Stuck,

wish

And he

the fact that he understands nothing about the realm of color.


vised

had learned. Proof

of

ad-

expected to be admitted

there without difficulty.

man

However, the old


to be

exempted from

was tantamount
quest got

him

criticism;

still,

my

in

asked

me

an entrance examination.

to pass

for the very fact that

eyes

and

rightly so

excited: "I myself once

all

had

tion." This

it,

begged

should be asked to take one

to having flunked.
to pass

But

my

re-

an entrance examina-

Then he submitted my drawing

royal sound.

to a

had

few of them he granted some merit. Finally

to sharp

went away

without accepting his position on the matter of the examination. Perhaps

him

did impress

The

all.

seven prophetic words of

to do;

This

a little after

II.

You

are not, as

drawn quite

is

draftsman of the very

see,

nicely; IV.

VI.

VII.

Good

my

myself once had to pass a

to be of

feel the strong

him an

rank; III.

test.

who have modeled

(This

is

where

I left.)

day, Herr Klee.

You seem

141.

time

first

This head, however, deserves the adjective

"bad"; V. Only those people are dispensed from a test


figures for years;

Maybe he expected to see me again?


Rumann: I. I shall let no one tell me what

my own

god with me.

offering in sacrifice.

destruction.

My

blood, so great

want

want

to

is

bow

to possess you,

god works great works on me.

my

love for you. This

before his law and bring

were

He

it

sees

mean your and

to

me on

the path of

the law.
I

love you as the

was brooding

142.

Often

satire).

to

me

with the friendly lamp, while

in the darkness.

said that

But that

strength of

woman who came

my

is

served Beauty by drawing her enemies (caricature,

not enough.

conviction.

must shape her directs with the

distant, noble aim. Half asleep,

full

already set out

50 / Diary I

on that path.
the road

When

am awake,
my life.

it

longer than

is

have to be accomplished. Perhaps

will

The term ''self-criticism" turns up for the first time.


Then I philosophize about death that perfects what could not be completed in life. The longing for death, not as destruction, but as striving
143.

toward perfection.

On

the whole, a stage between striving and despair.

He who

144.

strives will

tions (moldings of the

never enjoy this

life

peacefully.

newly experienced world)

The

first

re-forma-

offer a constant contrast

with the fullness and freshness of impressions. Forward, toward mature works.

Childhood was

a dream,

some day

all

would be accomplished. The period

of learning, a time for searching into everything, into the smallest, into the

most hidden, into the good and the bad. Then


a single direction

is

followed (that stage

now

a light

is lit

somewhere, and

enter; let us call

it

the time

of wandering).

The

145.

awful thought of having deceived myself about Lily.

have already

woman as mine. It would be a pity,


worked on my psychic condition. For I at last

developed the habit of regarding this


considering the good influence
lived a succession of

calm days, days of ideal

me

reflection,

and Kathi Bock

visited

turn. It runs off

me. Even the thought of Cenzi, who

nonsense, does not excite


I

consider

how many men

Now she wants

to

Later she leaves

me in

Today she
So

much

lies

me

at

My distrust could

all.

are there

where

come and have

tea at

the lurch after the

bed and

talks

turn into jealousy

when

lies in

should like to be alone.

my
St.

place.

Matthew's Passion.

asks forgiveness for this. Thursday, April 4th, she

for the picture of

would

146.

hand,

even though Berta

the other day and things took a rather dissolute

lie

to a

is

coming!

my precarious position.

woman

only out of pity.

out of the falseness of her heart.

The woman, on

the other

On Maundy

147.

She seems

to

senses that

Thursday Schiwago brought

have given up her

satirical

The

me

1900-1901

III,

my

back

monograph on

now without

have become better

ousness and friendliness.

Munich

51

compositions.

Klee. Perhaps she

her help. She talked with

devil whispered to

me

that

seri-

had passed by

pure spring unheedingly. "Are you taking leave forever, to speak so solemnly?"
I

asked in a joking way to create a diversion.

Then
way

much

so miserable

Good
The

148.

Friday.

My misery

slept very badly

met

and

long while, as

149.

We

good, at least for a few moments.

each other.

She spoke

us.

urge to wander.

This condition

more

And
is

imagination roamed as

are then like

How

if I

We

Garden.

had

often

two happy people.

one grows used

to being with

don't speak with ner for a

were alone. Should one ask for more?

on food, on

shall gladly restrict myself

large family even

unspeakable.

one with her that often

feel so at
if I

my

is

Lily again in the English

next to each other and say nothing.

It feels

If it

wind pierced

strong, stormy

cannot speak.

next morning

a fever.
sit

of friendship.

am

Munich by

took a walk with Lily to Grosshesselohe and back to

of the hills along the Isar.

easily

hardest of

rather far

were to remain

so, life

sense of responsibility

living quarters;

than good wine. But

off.

a life

all,

it is

without love and the female body.

Existence here and

would be

renounce a

hard to give up one's

a failure

would perhaps keep

now

most inadequate.

is

and unworthy

me

of

me.

from renunciation,

certain

after

all.

Easter 1901.

150.

The

uncertainty with Lily tormented

reasoned myself free of


look of young
edge.

During the second

looked fixedly at a creature

appearance in

girls.

few davs

my

more.

free myself

tortuously

from the dreamy

my nerves were really on


me and later described her

act of Tristan

who

sat

near

diary to the smallest detail.

later

encountered

followed her, and with


In the evening

me more and

woman, but could not

my

met

whole

this pretty creature near the Propylaea:

soul, lost

myself again in her being.

Lily at a performance of Fidelio.

She was dressed

in

52 / Diary I

which

black,

and

very

is

becoming

to her.

thanked her for

The

a ticket to

Seasons.

surrounded by nature, or on the water,

how
The

151.

felt

Once

on

Apologized calmly and

confident and believed

my arms

shall take her in

talked

and

tell

are

her

about her.

feel

plain truth

is

probably that from pride and from fear of spoiling

things by a final approach undesired by her,


Lily

replied to a few lines of hers,

for eight days.

and things we both knew. Some time, when we

interestingly about people

openly

had not

had not heard from her

as a result,

thought renunciation preferable.

me as

several occasions described her relationship to

she did so even after

we had

kissed passionately.

pure friendship.

That was

really

some-

thing.

(Continuation of 63.) At times

152.
I

saw that

knew

ably never would learn to paint.


I

fancied

knew how

nothing. During the third winter


I

to draw, at times

even realized that

prob-

thought of sculpture and started engraving.

have always been on good terms only with music.


Fraulein N., from Halle, wrote after a long silence, saying that she

153.

planned to come to Munich


wrote her that

would experience
ously,

wrote, and was

more worthy

able to endure the sun,

when

prehension of morning,

as

As then?

Up

Do

156.
ever.

am God.

But now

So

much

must

hue of dawn,
it

rises

then in

am

all

expectancy. Shall

be

ap-

die.

My

over the crest of the mountains?

my life.

is

much work

of the divine

suffer to bring

After the night of

We

again.

of her friendship than in former days.

to be done!

is

heaped

in

me

that

head burns to the point of bursting. One of the worlds hidden


born.

me

stand in the bright daylight?

from the couch! There

155.

to see

long period had

(5.3.1901). In the rosy

154.

and wished

for a brief stay

made me another person. Probably she


more maternal joys with me now. I now took art very seri-

this

May

it

cannot
in

it

wants to be

forth.

i4th-i5th

was more excited and divided than

had embraced and kissed passionately,

to

my

intoxicating delight.

Munich

53 /

But the

recoil followed at once.

loved someone

Now,
stirred

Immediately

she confessed that she

after,

else.

how much

the problem was to find out

up

1900-1901

III,

During

conflicting emotions in me.

this

truth there was to

it.

This

whole pro and con, her eyes

continued shining and promising.

Then
cided

were
I

became convinced that

affair. It

many

was

Bad

times.

157.

last

time,

that

had

i4th-i5th)
art, a

fell

somewhat

160.

few days

have no use there

love) remain below

for

now

on

seemed

a bit

my

lips.

anyone from

Eight days

more

attainable,

fettered female

young man dozes,

Woman." "Maiden Defending

my

Rodin)

future parents-in-law at the


Lily, after she already

her Doctor So-and-So the gate.

Your time

this world.

We

old.

lake.

field.

in the spirit of

has turned to ashes.

and grow

last decision.

triumphed over

earlier to give

6.1.1901. Little rascal

panions, our friendship

on the

capable of renunciation.

related to sculpture

spent the Pentecost holidays with

me

felt

(after a night of love the

country house by the Tegernsee. Here

had promised

my love.

somewhat narrower

hides). "Leave-taking from the

Herself" (the representation was

159.

was given to me.

demands.

future that

some motifs

"Morning Draws Near"

woman

life's

once again

restricted myself to a

In that period

158.

nudes.

the

it

achieved tranquillity. Before the

(May

clung wholly to the task of

now

one of

to throttle

an unde-

woman. There

to a parting? Sail out again, alone, sail far out

To have

after that night

all in

to stand on.

could,

hand: the beginning or the end of

at

came

if it

victorious after

never before, for a

as

Doubt had only one leg

to put love into everything.

crisis

What

would be

matter of fighting,

clues here.

wanted

The

was

The

is

up.

We

were com-

won

a piece of

heaven,

railers

(they say

have

up here draw the

first circles

am

in

of im-

mortality.

161.

June 1901. Misgivings

even feed one man.

And

arise.

What had

so the turn

came again

to offer to Lily? Art did not


to think of parting.

54 / Diary I

On

the ideal plane a great feeling of strength

me, because of the

filled

vic-

tory or because of love.

But

of

what use was

in life?

it

162.

Brangane pricks up her

see, as

Puck watched

us

on

ears,

we

said in the larch grove

by the Tegern-

a bench.

Why should friends not be allowed to kiss, we asked ourselves?

We do not even think.


In the end Lily remarked

On June

163.

8th

we

a serious conclusion.

it

would be wise

discussed

what was

wanted

home

done

to leave

soon.

to provide our love with

as the

She spoke of eight

fessionally as well as in general.

most important

me

of the

time to develop, pro-

years.

She too wanted to

progress during that time.

What perfection we
What a touchstone

164.

to be

That day may be regarded

entire period of our betrothal. Lily

make

to go

things.

Each

of these days

is

reach through love!

What

it is!

a lifetime. If

What

an intensification of

all

a key!

had

to

end now, no better end might

be imagined.

Trust

Now the leave-taking sounds

166.
I

me and follow me; when the abysses gape below, close your
my step and the high, icy spirit. Then we two shall be like God.

Lean on

165.
eyes.

grew up alone on the moor.

swept away what was weak.

altogether different:

Who ever helped me?

Storms came and went,

remained on the moor.

Then you came and sought shelter near me. But fate bade us stop. You
must grow strong through solitude, spoke fate. For the time being let thought
alone be
167.

my shelter.

Go your way,

you grand

desires,

Fare thee well, immortality.

Crumble, you mountains of the mind,


If the peak be solitude.

55 /

June

168.

1901, a hard day.

13,

Munich

Somber premonition

III,

1900-1901

on the

of parting

Konigsplatz.

Departure from Munich on June 30th. Should

and merely have been

life

my

awakening that strength has turned

no matter how beautiful

ceives,

to bitterness.

it is.

The

not become

this love

most beautiful dream, then

And woe

shall find

to that

my

upon

which de-

powerful, the frightful truth shall

win.

Do

169.

Do

not ask what

not ask whether

am.

deserve

am nothing, I only know about my


Know that it is rich and deep.

happiness.

it.

wanted

But

to reach the goal before sunset. Near her. I had walked briskly.
had reckoned badly. The unspeakable longing for the goal made th

many hours

heavy. Over a wild pass,

want

to reach the gentle valley.

bern, 8.5.1901.
Retrospect on the

170.

in these diaries

is

artistic

beginnings of the past three years. Whatever

lent, or as ridiculous even, as the first

into

art.

One
was

diary

is

simply not

thing, however,

there. Else

and undeveloped seems hardly

unclear, confused,

art,

but

temporal accomplishment.

must grant myself: the

might have been content,

as repel-

attempts to translate these circumstances

will to attain the

authentic

as a tolerable sketcher of nudes, to

turn out compositions depicting Cain and Abel. But for this

was too skep-

tical.
I
I

wanted

to render things that could be controlled,

carried within

me. The more complicated

it

and clung only

seemed

to

me,

as

to

what

time passed,

the madder the compositions. Sexual helplessness bears monsters of perversion.

Symposia of Amazons, and other horrible themes.

A Nana

threefold cycle:

Carmen-

cycle.

Theatre des femmes. Disgust: a lady, the

upper part of her body lying on

a table, spills a vessel filled with disgusting

Gretchen-Isolde.

things.

The

very fact that the whole

these three years

made him

man

at times fell very

low

in

the course of

eager for and capable of purification.

Many

$6 / Diary I
projects are witnesses to this. In the end, the need for absolute

lacking either.

Herewith equilibrium begins to establish

betrothal should coincide in time with this state

is

form

itself.

perfectly logical.

is

not

That

my

Before Italy

(Summer

of igoi

Bern and Surroundings

The

171.

consciousness of strength endured. At

overwhelmingly hard to bear.


I

had now become

first

the separation was not

derived a certain tranquillity from the fact that

moral person, even on the sexual

problem could no longer disturb me.

the fact that there would be no practical solution soon.

such turmoil.

could

now

level.

As such,

this

did not concern myself directly with

devote myself with

The

spirit

was

free of

concentration to some

full

The three years in Munich had been necessary to bring me


now staked everything on Italy. I envisaged the possibility

course of study.

to

this point.

of

realizing the

172.

humanist

173.

at

to give

my

form to

newly gained

course, this intention was not realized. For to be a poet

two

different things.

me

remained dear to

even in

However, that strength and

my

later life,

and

tran-

don't intend to

it.

Oberhofen. July 1901.

considering that
in

Of

to write poetry are

quillity has

mock

many poems

should have written

creative strength.

and

ideal only outside the field of special study.

I first

gave you

received

life

my

all

and

from your hand

still I

gave you nothing,

that you bore me anew

beauty (the beloved as mother of the reborn, moral man).

174.

The storm

neck of the oak.

sinks powerful legs into the hollow of the


It

game. The divinity surveys


Similarly,

wave and into the

looks like a fight between branch and foam, and yet


it

contemplated

and preserves the


a

it is

limits.

thunderstorm combined with

a hailstorm. July

27,1901.

175.

Philosophic strivings. Optimistic way.

lect the real task

by delving too deeply

in

The

only misgiving was to neg-

philosophy and poetry.

58 / Diary I

id*

qjtitWfrhie vm(2#6

176.
love,

I
I

shall look for

sought no God.

my God

beyond the

Now that

have

tyffa*

stars.

While

night.

Mute

bliss in

lit

fa

struggled for earthly

Him who wrought good


Him. How can I recognize Him? He

it, I

must

upon me while I had turned away from


must be smiling over the fool, hence the cooling

mer

??Qk

find

of gentle winds in the

thankfulness to her and a glance toward these

sum-

moun-

tain tops!

Cry toward the righteous God. Through good deeds on earth the hero

177.

reaches the road to the righteous God.

way;

3.

mede;

5.

Meeting with Prometheus;


Fata morgana.

4.

1.

Parting from the beloved;

Dream

2.

of a conversation with

On

the

Gany-

59 / Before Italy;

Thy

Arise early to sow.

178.

179.

Those were tempting waters that drew


But how

homes

sweet-dark

crickets, lonely

see standing

and

soul.

180.

want

Thou

it.

had

But

am on

hear

let

raised

my

come

all

my

But

do not

want

me

cry hail.

to flow with

it.

have the

toward Thee. Wise

do not seek the mighty but

my

lot, for

knock

Thou

Thy

at

door. If

art great, great

was born to

Only the man who

do not

Thy

is

suffice, I

work. But great

fragment.

law that measures

shall cry hail! Hail to space, to the

voice out of the cloud: thou tormentest

derision

this satisfaction:

Accomplish! Then

a sad person

before Thee, Zeus, because

beginning only, not in the accomplished.

in the

Many

elder-tree.

and everything,

Thy

passed, the old,

eyes questioningly toward Thee: in vain!

the greatness of

Thee

into their wrinkly

the waves, strong and fresh in body

hast favored me, this drives

Now

shalt

listened to the song of the

Prometheus. Torments have always been

Often

shall leave

it.

under the scented

Thee behind

to divine

thyself,

So

shore.

at night

to flow together with the great stream.

the kindly God.

love.

secret

kind of Prometheus.

strength for

enough

and

on the

my mind

the power of the stream. As

is

where

called,

Thou

field.

whirl.

now

1901

wife sleeps soundly, let her sleep.

turn to thy wife only with the fruits of thy

irresistible

Summer

struggles has

my

approbation.

And

among them am I, who struggle with the Godhead.


In the name of my sufferings and those of many other men, I judge Thee
for having accomplished nothing. Thy best child judges Thee, Thy bravest
spirit, at once related to Thee and turned away.
the greatest

181.

must be

in the north, or

else

it

shall

is all

thoughts become muddled again.

the soul yearning for the south?


I

have

air

cannot remain

be

Hoarse laughter on
this laughter

Is

where?

fullest love. Still,

Or

My

pale.

whole night through.

and nourishment. And


as

as in the past.

that

don't sleep the

something missing

have obtained the

am.

Sorrow forcedly shut up

narrow path of escape.


lifts

Is

us above the beast.

Till bursting.

in the breast.

And

say again:

60 / Diary
182.

Brack

tells

about something observed on the Stockhorn:

in the act of giving birth

that tried to steal the

183.
1.

had been attacked by jackdaws and

lamb out

of

Senseless talk (sense drifted

good

cast of the net

upon me.

tries to steal

eyes, or does

them the

it

3. 1

sleepwalk?

is

must be
5.

My

away on the stream

riff-raff

saved.

By

of wine)

This year, too, villainy

success? 4.

Does

inspiration have

hands are folded at times. But right below

belly digests, the kidney filters clear urine.

A poem

a sheep

womb.

a great consolation. 2.

everything means to be unhappy.

184.

its

how

similar

7.

Twelve

fishes,

6.

To

love music above

twelve murders.

with the following line-endings:

Eyes / breast / desire / night / laughed / sleep /met /

companions / order /
185.

The

delay. Haller

to

/ dream / night of the heart.

departure was not so easy.

pox and became very

Oberhofen

trees

had

ill,

a 104

to ask for

had myself vaccinated against

fever. Haller felt

money,

obtained a

small-

only a slight itching. In

little.

This caused a slight

was impatient, but nonetheless consented to wait.

He

has to get

am

to experi-

Rome quickly to paint his Solar Cycle.

terrible

storm rages on the country. As always, whenever

ence something.

Our

black tomcat returned after

wild again. Lived by hunting, certainly.

six

months, grown quite

Diary

II

Italian

Diary

May

(October 1901 to

1902)

Milan, 10.22.1901. Arrival. Brera: Mantegna (Luini?); Raphael not

277.

particularly well represented. Surprise: Tintoretto.

Molto

vino. Pimples

from the vaccination. Tricky use of the

Good

guage. Hotel Cervo.

Italian lan-

food: risotto. Departure: 24th, at 3:40 p.m., to

Genoa.

Genoa,

278-279.

by night. The sea under the moon. Wonderful

arrival

breeze from the sea. Serious mood.

Exhausted
night from a

had had

thousand impressions. Saw the sea by

The great harbor, the


longshoremen. The large Southern city.

hill, for

emigrants and the


I

burden by

like a beast of

the

first

time.

rough idea of the

sea,

but not of the harbor

gigantic ships, the

life.

Railway

cars,

threatening cranes, warehouses, and people; walking along reinforced piers,

stepping over ropes. Fleeing from people


the harbor,"

"The American

iron bollards as seats.


seilles,

several

up

try to rent us boats:

"The

city,

"The

sea!"

The

lighthouses!"

unfamiliar climate. Steamers from Liverpool, Mar-

hundred steamers, not

And

The

wide globe. Certainly

then the people. Over there, the most outlandish figures with

Here on the dam,

for himself

for the

to speak of countless sailboats, small steamers,

crowd of emigrants from the South of

(like snails) in the sun, gestures as

breast.

who
"The

Bremen, Spain, Greece, America. Respect

tugboats.
fezzes.

The

warships,"

bigger children playing and quarreling.

through the

from floating kitchens.

mob

Where

Italy, piled

supple as an ape's, mothers giving the

purveyor opens a path

with a fuming plate (frutti di mare) brought


does the striking smell of

oil

the coal-bearers, well-built figures, lightfooted and swift,

come from? Then

coming down from

the coal ship half naked with loads on their backs (hair protected by a rag),

climbing up to the pier along a long plank, over to the warehouse to have
their load weighed.

Then, unburdened, along

where

a freshly-filled basket

circle,

tanned by the sun, blackened by the

is

waiting for them.

second plank into the ship,

Thus people

coal, wild,

in

an unbroken

contemptuous. Over
63

64 / Diary II
there, a fisherman.

everywhere
tied to

On

The

nothing

else,

disgusting water can't contain anything good.


is

a chicken foot, a shellfish.

it,

the piers stand houses and warehouses.

are the loafers in

its

And

midst.

High houses (up

280.

As

ever caught. Fishing gear: a thick string, a stone

still

we

world

in itself.

This time we

are working, at least with our legs.

to thirteen floors), extremely

narrow

alleys in the old

town. Cool and smelly. In the evening, thickly

filled

with people. In daytime,

more with

wave

in the air like flags over a

youngsters. Their swaddling clothes

celebrating town. Strings

hang from window

to

window

across the street.

By

day, stinging sun in these alleys, the sparkling, metallic reflections of the sea;

below, a flood of light from

dazzling brilliance.

all sides:

sound of a hurdy-gurdy, a picturesque


Theater turned

me

real. I

trade.

Add

to

all this

Children dancing

the

around.

all

have taken a certain amount of melancholy along with

over the Gotthard Pass. Dionysos doesn't have a simple effect on me.

We

281.

nearly decided to go to Naples (by one of the

that also lead to

Rome). But we

pathic attacks, stutters,

is

many

other ways

are too inexperienced. Haller has psycho-

afraid of being robbed.

And Naples

is

an ill-famed

place.

And
Rome.

we

so
I

leave

by ship

for Livorno,

would not have been

and from

eager to, because he proceeds pragmatically.

tempted

me

Monday,

for there

282.

The

numerous

as a beginning.

must be

sea voyage

Pisa, take the direct train to

in such a hurry to reach

week

in

Rome, but Haller is


Genoa would have

So now the study of the Renaissance

starts

on

orderliness.

was an experience. Big, nocturnal Genoa with

as stars gradually vanished,

one dream flows into another.

We

stayed on deck until midnight.

Then

its

absorbed by the light of the open


sailed at ten o'clock

on the Gottardo,

into our second-class cabin.

A man who was going to Alexandria

Klee

empty

4 Haller (with a bracelet).

lights
sea, as

65 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

At

six in

the morning

May

1902)

got up, having spent a very quiet night, and found

the sea completely transformed, the island of Gorgona, tilted sailboats, fresh
colors.

At seven we landed

283.

Like a dream, Genoa sinks into the sea; passed away from this world,

did

in Livorno.

dissolve like the last light?

284.

Livorno

We

dull.

Oh,

if

only

it

were

Could

so!

fled as quickly as possible in a little

I?

horse carriage.

The horse guessed our thoughts. The landing had been an amusing business.
The boatmen, who fought each other with their oars: Una lira, of course. The
staircase

from the water, the customs

Much

crowding at the railway

ask for tickets.

He

"1. P-P-Pisa; 2.

q-quando phparte

The words

put his

lips close to

lay, in fact,

Regarding point

1,

office.

station. Haller didn't

il

my

ear

2,

simple either. This was

me

stutteringly:

t-treno?"

quite clumsily on the tongue.

was asked, "andate

stand; regarding point

have the courage to

and instructed

ritorno?"

push boldly on.

which

did not under-

the gruff reply was "alle mezz," which was not so

my

first

lesson in practical Italian.

And

the train,

which runs every half hour, was ready and took us to Pisa through rather unattractive country.

PISA

We stayed in Pisa from nine in the morning


Duomo, there is little to see; at a pinch
added. The Duomo is marvelous. How did
the

till

the afternoon. Besides

five in

the Piazza dei Cavalieri might be


the giant get into this burg? This

spectacular display takes place quite a distance from the center of town, like
a circus putting

We had

on

its

show

at the entrance of a village.

to climb to the top of the leaning tower, listen to the echo in the

Baptistery, etc. Afterward our energy

restaurant

we bought some

sad, leaned his

asleep:

The

"Be

head on

his hands,

careful they don't rob

train speeding

was exhausted. Instead of looking

chestnuts and sat

and

still

down on

managed

for a

bench. Haller looked


to sav before falling

me."

toward Rome, what a sensation that was.

66 / Diary

II

ROME
Arrival

285.

on October

about midnight.

27, 1901,

in a hotel near the railway station

Barbera.

On

the second day

Via del Archetto,

by

had already rented

20, IV, for 30 lire per

We celebrated

the event

drunken bout on three bottles of

room

in the heart of

town,

month.

Rome captivates the spirit rather than the senses. Genoa


Rome a historic one; Rome is epic, Genoa dramatic. That

is
is

modern

why

it

city,

cannot

be taken by storm.
Impatience drove

me

at

once to the famous

Michelangelo's

sights, first to

Chapel and to Raphael's "Stanze." Michelangelo had the

Sistine

good beating on the student of Knirr and Stuck.

He

accepted

it

effect of a

and discovered

that Perugino and Botticelli fared no better. Raphael's frescoes stood up un-

der the

test,

but not without

my intending them

Less violent was the impression

made by

to

do

so.

the equestrian statue of Marcus

Aurelius and the statue of Saint Peter in Saint Peter's. His toes, worn away by
kisses,

add

about his

The

Marcus Aurelius

to the effect.

also has a share.


foot.

Not

that

But they

is

concentrated

understand the believers

are there anyway.

Who

cares

art;

with Peter faith

who busy

themselves

about Marcus Aurelius?

primitive stiffness of the bronze of Peter, like a piece of eternity in the

whirl of the accidental (October 31st)

286.

Epigrams with these line-endings:

Thence / for painting no sense


bartered away the loved music my son /
"Love

as sun,

The sun

as

scorn.

swamp":

infected as thanks

because in

me it stank of swamps.

Beware! / in years / understood / available.

World / then
which

me my money
my father.

others cost

myself had cost

Raised / pushed / herd / earth.

67 / Italian Diary {October 1901 to


Fear of

woman / wounds and boils / give birth on

May

1902)

the mountain /

from shame / jackdaws and vultures


be rid of the excrescence of my body.

liberator

would

Freer / bodies / grinding tune /

women.

Went out to Via Appia to become acquainted with the


Rome." As we came to the city limits the Lateran palace diverted
from our project. Also, the mother of all churches next to it. The Byzantine
11.2.1901.

290.

"environs of
us

mosaics in the choir, two delicious deer. After this hors d'oeuvre, over to the

museum

Christian

in the Lateran. Sculptures in a naive style

The

beauty stems from the forcefulness of the expression.


works, which are after

grounds, and yet

imperfect,

all

am more

receptive to

masterpieces. In music too

Naturally

no

am

had already had

on

justified

to the

intellectual

most highly praised

few similar experiences.

not behaving like a snob. But the Pieta in Saint Peter's

on me, while

trace

cannot be

them than

whose great

effect of these

left

can stand spellbound before some old, expressive

Christ.

In Michelangelo's frescoes, too, something spiritual exceeds the artistic

The movement and the hill-like musculature are not pure art, but are
art. The ability to contemplate pure form I owe to my
impressions of architecture: Genoa
San Lorenzo; Pisa the Duomo. Rome
value.
also

more than pure

Saint

Peter's.

My

feeling

often in sharp opposition to Burckhardt's

is

Cicerone.

My

hatred for the Baroque after Michelangelo might be explained by the

fact that

until

noticed

now. Despite

perfection of the

drawn back
along with

want

to

Later

how much

my

myself had been caught up in the Baroque

recognition that the noble style disappears with the

means (one

sole point of overlapping:

Leonardo),

to the noble style, without being convinced that

it.

Boldness and fancy are not called

for,

now

that

I
I

feel

shall ever get

should be and

be an apprentice.

we came upon

the Via Latina instead of the Via Appia, where a good

lunch was waiting for us

was plentiful enough


suspect that

for

in

an inn (75 centimes, including a pint of wine). It


to feed two cats and for Haller to feed a dog; I

me

some opposition

to

me

was mixed up with

his motives.

The

rustic

68 / Diary II
the inns here are charming.

idylls in

If I

am

Traffic of donkeys

shops and kitchens.

To

on these

classic roads.

work

to

must come out here sometime with an etching

as

already can, then

plate.

Character of the suburb. Wine-

My horror of seeing animals

tortured.

go back to town, we then followed the Via Appia that we had missed

As we looked

earlier.

shepherd had

settled.

skinned agnelli hung

The

for

it,

all

which

a half-ruined villa in

good deal of bleating around the walls and

about.

wind whistled

finest

we came upon

There was

in

the masonry.

drew the building, Haller

painted with watercolor nearby; having no water, he used his urine.

How

people can adapt themselves,

how

they nest in the ruins!

The

crosses

on the old temples.

Once more we stopped


for 30 centimes,

had some goodish wine,

a half a quart

and sheep cheese, and, thus restored but very

tired, strolled

in a tavern,

back home.

Nothing
can

weather

is

what

it

of

is

overlooked, but the climate

sting, the

wind

is

furious!

nice (tramontane!)
will

be

like in

it

January

is

not always easy to bear.

Rainy days are very oppressive.


gets quite cold, especially at night.

when

I'll

The sun

When
I

am

the

afraid

be trying to find the stove in

my big

What

room.

291.

Haller perches in a somber studio.

in while

chamber

he was developing photographs of


pot.

He

wants to push

his

his

dust and

fleas!

Once

came

Russian girl-friend Sch. in the

Cycle to the Sun to completion. His

energy can't be doubted.

He

model. She said she was not a profeshad overcome her scruples only to save her
mother and four brothers and sisters from starvation (a letter to the Pope
had brought no results). In the evening the little ones cry: Mamma, fame!

was fooled by

a ravishing little

sional model; she claimed she

The mother has almost lost her mind as a result. Too proud to beg.
One day Haller wanted to pay her and sent her out to change

50

lire;

she

We

now saw
brought back only 45, which he nobly didn't count till later.
through the whole scheme. And yet she was such a splendid model. Stood undaunted on
the sun.

a platform of tables

and

chairs

and

ecstatically spread her

arms to

May

69 / Italian Diary {October 1901 to

292.
It

1902)

on the swaggering type:

satire

was one of those giants / who found

all

mountains too low /

dangers / blew / passion / thoughts / ran away / from some time /


limits / small / mine.

This week, again conquered a piece of Rome. The Pinacotheca in the

293.

Vatican and the Galleria Borghese. In the Vatican, the utmost

few pictures.
a priest in

is

more

much

Burckhardt

294.

have

antiquity and

only

effort.

The

justice to.

Snatched away right

middle

in the

possibilities indisputable, the actual

produc-

that of a disciple.
less just

is

now
its

age strikes

toward Botticelli (one page in the Cicerone).

reached the point where

Renaissance. But, for myself,

own

nection with our

own

do

difficult to

overwhelming

tion too

solidity,

unfinished Leonardo ("St. Jerome"), a couple of Peruginos,

solemn dress by Titian.

Raphael
of an

An

me

times.

And

want

to

can look over the great


I

cannot find any

to create

art of

artistic

con-

something outside of one's

as suspect.

Great perplexity.
This

is

sorbed by
never

why
it

am

again

all

on the

side of satire.

once more? For the time being

become

positive? In

any

case,

will

it is

my

Am

to be completely ab-

only creed. Perhaps

defend myself

shall

like a wild beast.

In such circumstances there exist

295.

fair

means.

Prayers for faith

and strength.
Goethe's Italian Journey
Also belongs here.

But above all a lucky


saw it often.

star. I
I

One may

well

shall discover

it

again.

draw strength from the pantheistic piety of Goethe. Draw

strength to enjoy things, that

much

is

sure.

70 / Diary II
Fasted / stomach weighs / endure / rested / carriages /

296.

buy /

forbid /

rent.

DANGEROUS ROME
More and more

299.

Renaissance, more and more Burckhardt.

already

speak his language, for example.

One

doesn't like to think, in this connection, of the Gothic garments of

the Germans.

This doesn't apply to the Italian Durer, the Munich Apostles are clothed in

exemplary fashion.
Similar unfairness toward Baroque.

That Greece

existed

no longer be-

is

lieved. Bernini a raven foreboding misfortune.

November

Conductor

15th. Important concert at the Teatro Costanzi.

Gulli,

Brahms' Serenade, Op.

Italian

Symphony.

11;

Wagner's

Siegfried Idyll; Mendelssohn's

Collection of ancient art in the Palazzo degli Conservatori.

300.

Wolf." "The Remover of the Thorn." Of particular

'The She-

interest to the connois-

"The Statues of the Muses." A rotating female figure, perfect


The German turns it. His bride sits on a bench and admires him.
The Italian makes silly jokes. The Englishman reads his guide, emitting noble
sounds. You are never alone in museums.
seur of nudes,

as nature.

301. Galleria Barberini.

"Centi"

comes

is

moving.

a little

One

have never liked Guido Reni,


involved as a

is

human

dramatic scene. This unhappy love

The shape of
mouth is at once

move

being by
is

still

the eyelids might

small

the pole of suffering and the pole of

302.

Now

am

I
I

it

no

of love.

less

is

have

demanding. The

The

left

figures

is

to

calls a picture:

many

"Sin.")

have been concentrated into three.

out the woman.

woman

The

bliss.

composition. At an earlier stage there were

satirical.

Now I

be-

it is

us to soft lamentation.

"Moralizing on Stray Paths." (Stuck

the approach

The way
yet

working on

called

it

felt precisely because

picture.

figures.

his deeply felt

this portrait,

The problem

be expressed

is

simpler and

triply in the attitude of

7i / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

May

1902)

\*
iff

ft

d e /* ?*.*,? ts-h'siLtf

\frfjf h//

]/fl/ Is

If/
^{4

'

t/i^fniofa

ct

C'fi^/^a, uJ-

LC

i/i^Z*

if

J/df/s

&**-

<>cfCKw$fr>L? %p*a<?fr

72 / Diary II
I must concentrate on working more
ammunition at hand. Then why the big gun?

the three.

intimately, there

is

not

much

Epigrams:

306.

In God's place /

shrill

own beauty /

Palette / save / never suited

bloom / green.
Taken / come / paid / too

tones.

me / old man's poesy / departs / disgusts /

thinly painted.

Creates / strength / chose / souls / to be modest / small /


trace / nature.
11. 25-/26.

The
little
is

lines to

fit

these endings were too contrived, too well

rhymed and too

dreamed, and yet they were conceived during a clear nocturnal hour.

It

raining, not to say pouring.

The

307.

Vesella.

was not very good;

latest concert

Deeply affected during the

but the musicians were

left

last

it

was the

movement

Many

the initiative.

fault of the conductor,

of Beethoven's Seventh,

important voices were

drowned, but on the whole there was both energy and exaltation. Orgies of

symphonic sound were celebrated. Short measures were taken more earnestly
than

am

used

to.

sound rough and

Organlike swellings of the horn section. (The bassoons

strange.

Moreover,

have only recently become capable of

understanding this work. Nostalgia for Mozart.

308.

Yesterday after the theater, in the sharp cold of night,

woman and

a not quite

grown

girl Tie

of a house. Professional beggars?

Recently two

arm
I

in arm.

men

weeping

Anyway,

it

saw an old

in the street, before the gate

made an

impression.

followed a coffin, dragging and helping each other along,

How naturally these

people pose!

gave a child some bread from the lunch table, but the hunger was

real;

pale face, lean, intense hands.

Sickening habit of using the street as a


traces left;

when compelled

to catch

toilet.

someone

The

disgusting thing

in the act, as

happens not

is

the

infre-

73 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to


quently,

it

What

is

There

is

would go

is

to note that the thing

this street-life

enough

1902)

done with a natural decency.


Genoa? I often long to be there.

is

when compared to
But more life there.

art here.

If

only spring were here,

to the sea nearby!

Today

309.

good

May

it

was sunny (11.22.1901).

We

wandered

far out,

over the

Aventine (Basilica Santa Sabina, splendidly primitive, with open wooden

and down

roof supports, mosaic pavement)

distance from
several

fires,

it

to Porta

San Paolo. At some

stands another mighty basilica, unfortunately renovated after

cold.

campanile

2 central
3

nave

side aisles

4 parvis
5-5 facade

On

the

way back we followed the course

upstream. Just before the


that

had been dragged

this far.

of the Tiber, or

more

exactly,

went

bridge were anchored steamers and sailboats

last

The

nearness of the sea.

Near the appealing temple of Vesta an old man fell down with a large
basket of oranges and lay there, looking at the rolling fruits. But already a
number of children had come running to the rescue and filled up the basket
again with great speed. First

unquenchable laughter, but

had

later

let

myself be contaminated by Haller's

we thought about the

nice traits of these

people.

My Opus has become so simple


310.

that

11.30.1901. For lack of a stove

Torino.

By day

it

no longer makes any

progress.

bought three quarts of vermouth

di

good deal of blue sky and pleasant October warmth, but the

nights cold indeed.

And

after sunset

stole over to the

cupboard to get the

fat

74 / Diary II
bottle. Haller keeps

vermouth

too,

is

on praising

effectiveness against fever.

its

better than wine. Last

summer

I am too lonely to
my mind then, am

evening except three. But here

glow often

soft

settles over

For

my

heart,

had drunk milk every


manage without alcohol. A

full

of

hope and

in

good

humor.

The Muses

preferable to the feminine Apollo leading them. Observation of

the Greek foot.

The work

three groups:

+3+

of art as a posing model. Division of the toes into

1.

Triglie are quite delicious fish

311.

drinking. Thinking as

where

little as

in Corsica or in Sardinia.

while

it

2d.

ceeded in making clear to me.

mice

for a period of time.

reddish). Eating and

It

if

one were some-

besides, a green salad, unimagin-

O this South!

Today they took my

disappeared in a sack.

^____^_-

And when,

ably delicate, happens to be served!

December

possible while doing so, as

cat

away from

understood at

was

And I had

last

a cat that

already given

me and

had

to look

what words had not

had been borrowed


away

on

suc-

to catch

my heart.

So now I shall purchase a civetta. I saw some sitting on a bastone in a store.


They are good hunting companions per la caccia.
The padrona advices me against guinea-pigs, sporchi, sempre urinare. I must
have something living, and the tortoise doesn't count: dorme sei mesi. Once
the cat had a mezzo polio rubato. The excitement. "Ah, e un gran signore!
Niente patate, ma un mezzo polio, ah!!"
Haller often played with it, until it jumped at his face; then he let fly
with a couple of slaps on its hide, and his hand wasn't weak.
The weather is overcast, the temperature at night has gone up. I feel particularly well in consequence. The Teatro Costanzi announces a lyrical season.
Maestri cantori. Iris. Tosca. Boheme. Favorita and many others. I would have
liked to hear Pagliacci in Italian some time. The Duse, too, will perform, I
feel enterprising. A money order from Menton did its part.
312.

12.3.1901.

ond hour
before, he
I'll

of

my

had

The

first

screech owl

mocked me and died during

ownership. Perfidiously he chose

still

my

absence to do

simulated hunger and devoured a goldfinch.

go with the padrona to comprar una

altra.

the secit.

Just

Tomorrow

75 / Italian Diary {October 1901 to

May

1902)

Friendship with Haller not always untroubled. Incentive to rivalry in

Recognition that he

is

more advanced

a long struggle lies in store for

me

in this

Small act of vengeance in the shape of an elegant

313.

Schiwago, after our friendship had not concluded

12.7.1901.

314.

no answer.

Two

want

to

letters

know

and two postcards

that

most

are severed. Perhaps these are the

What is left
saken.

symptoms

me now? Only the


friends;

when

travel

northward, they entail

relationship with Haller

is

future.

We

to the past
I

take leave

to school!

violently prepare myself for

ask for spiritual friendship,

strange.

me

of incipient mastery.

have confidence in Bloesch. Lotmar has great

still

for

many

satirical letter to

satisfactorily.

of the threads that bind

from those who taught me. Ungratefulness


did not have

art.

domain of color. Realization that


field. "But in drawing, I correct him."

in the

am

it. I

almost

for-

possibilities,

my

don't sort together. We'll probably

always trust each other to display a certain honorable tactfulness of behavior.

But we have no
is

Not

With

I.

been
yet

for our

we made

tion,

closer ties,

and perhaps never had. He's

able to concentrate easily

fellow,

of a piece.

a rather primitive

Can be measured.

such great differences we would never have joined had

common

course of study. I've

known him

since he

was

I'll

not

and

me and

me in hunting for landscape motifs.

Brack

My

it

six,

use of each other only when, two or three years before his gradua-

is

valuable,

and

yet there are barriers

always has to take into account the

315.

all

he decided to become a painter. At that time he approached

joined

and be

willingly

renounce

to

many perfectly good

is

us.

Unfortunately one

of this eccentric.

friends.

more paternal character.


have nothing more to do with feminine

teacher Jahn

want

between

moods and manias

of a

friendships.

Haller unexpectedly receives a letter of Schiwago's from Russia, where

she suddenly had to go because her mother

fell

ill.

This must make his future

relationship with her a rather problematical one.

How
will

will

send

How

it

my

little letter

reach her

now? Perhaps her studio companion

K.

on.

indifferent

it all

seems to me.

recall

an adventure

in the

Luitpold on

76 / Diary II

my

one of

public ball, or rather toward morning.

last nights at a

adventure? Wassiliew had joined

last

inforcement, with monsieur

le

bois (so

Was

we

my

as re-

called his artificial hand).

The

were strikingly and incompletely dressed. This led to awkward misun-

ladies

derstandings as

we were caught up

in the

drunken crowd. Wassiliew was

to tears. Schiwago, brave as always, flailed about with her hair flying

and

threat in her gray eyes didn't suffice,


It

it

and Castella came with her

us,

must have been bearable. Moral


Returned

met the

Such

have never seen

neck

flower of

Muses

all

in nature.

young buck

the

in the face.

under such circumstances?

to the Palazzo degli Conservatori

In the former
a

effects

many

hit

close

when

and

to the Capitoline

Museum.

(description follows at the end).

(Love

for a

Muse

as

an

artistic atti-

tude!)

Epigram with the line-endings:

316.

Curse / search / fetch / stolen / gained / jumped / one / appear / a bit of


joy / burning eyes for the most / through envy / my son, you are insolent.
Until

now

stuffs a goose.

like

it

made

For the

wood but

wild screech owl by force, as one

he has been feeding alone.

last three days,

on the bastone. The


of

new

the padrona had fed the

He

does not

floor looks like that of a stable. Fortunately

it

isn't

of stone.

Satirical opus:

The Happy One, he


fruit.

Stands on his

who

a half idiot

is

little

succeeds in everything and bears

property, one of his hands holds the sprinkler, the

other points to himself, as to the navel of the world.

and blooming. Branches heavy with

fruits

The garden

is

greening

bend toward him. The medium

is

cardboard with a gray chalk background, tempera and watercolor.


I

wrote to Lotmar, Bloesch, Brack, with the hope of receiving an answer in

return.

Such phrases and melodic

319.

me

lines (later, Oriental

music again reminded

of these quaint things) could be heard every hour;

carried in the
a long,

mouth.

Two

mournful ballad

boys

made

what

is

feminine

is

use of a similar melodic pattern to sing

as they walked.

Along the Tiber:

77 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

J-^A^ r

^rrfcpftt- fit

y^ grfit^

$</

<i'f?>^-

^ wtiHd,-

bc^cw

**

c " rtu

Lola's song in Caralleria Rusticana

not amazing that

Is it

323.

eleven years old?

Sorgin
guitar.
full of

We

were

"r

sitting in

-v^'t /&/'> M^Pfi?

now

should

1902)

'xr */*-*:

based on

is

May

this.

begin to speak of a

our delightful

little

little girl

about

eating place near

when as usual musicians entered and began playing their mandolin and
The first piece sounded, as was to be expected, a bit out of tune, but
feeling. Toward the end, the little girl, who had come in unobtrusively

with the others, drew attention to herself through certain gestures, and as the
final

chords sounded, she came forward without a trace of timidity.

what was

many

performance (and what a performance!).

in store: a

artistic

achievements, but never one so primeval.

certain elegance of build; otherwise she

voice a good one.


pression.

which

it

We

We

have seen
thing has a

not exactly beautiful, nor

It

erotic. In fact,

The

later,

ex-

intuition

having the advantage that primitive

feel-

human beings and needs only to


why even a child knows about the

future slumbers in

cannot be created. That

we heard

and the

her

is

were taught to find beauty only in truthfulness of

could experience only

sionate scene

little

We knew

discovered that talent anticipates things through

ings are the strongest.

be awakened.

is

The

its

is

whole range, from the

little

The Southerner

plays

tragic scene.

couplet to the pas-

comedy more

easily

because his everyday behavior reaches such a pitch that he doesn't need to
intensify

it

as

much

than she was. In the


325.

Poems

Rhymed

as

we

do.

So the child was able to pretend

last analysis,

it

was

to

be more

kind of natural enjoyment.

of an epigrammatic sort with these line-endings:

/ glued / great pain / to be superfluous.

78 / Diary II

believed

should at least succeed in making myself ridiculous.

Further:

Such

a suffering

head / yellower / believes /

itself

/ ready to act /

ridiculousness / cured / born / hairy / paired / deceived / lying.

Rome's youngest museum, the National Museum

12.15.1901.

327.
tian's

Thermae. Part of

to walk here

it is

housed

beautiful enough.

is

The arrangement

The

they are enjoyed andante.

orange grove with hundreds of

nowhere

is

Simply
fruits.

so carefully planned as here;

statues are not treated like propped-up bowl-

Each piece occupies

ing pins.

An

of the works of art

in Diocle-

in Michelangelo's great cloister.

its

proper place.

My

feeling for bronzes

is

growing.

For the

few days the weather has been rainy and warm. Yesterday

last

Today unfortunately somewhat colder and yet


my window open. Too little happens at night
days. Carnival time is going to bring some life into

rainstorms with thunderclaps.

not

clear.

work every day with

during the season of short


the place, so they say.

La Duse

plays the title role of D'Annunzio's Francesca de

performance never

The

night before

showers.

And

events of

my

one

flags.

shall

pieces.

my

Only her

birthday was stormy,

extraordinarily

past

not

life.

come

ingresso has

The

last

again.

filled

Rimini and her

a bit weaker.

with lightning and heavy

warm. Storms often accompanied important


year not without

For not

all

its

mad

complications. Such

that has been attained shall

fall

believe in the possibility of carrying things through. Let those

to

who

me rejoice.

love

D'Annunzio's Francesca da Rimini.

Two

pled husband was excellent (Rosaspina)


has

become

spirit,

Her way

but she

is

good

acts (III

ends by provoking stinging headaches.


is

more

crip-

shot through and through with hysteria and morphine.

bottom of the

scale

high notes are thin, nasal.

The

of speaking chromatically from the top to the

middle range

and IV) The

Paolo was really handsome. La Duse

lively,

The

the low one thoroughly soulful. She speaks well in

hoarse tones, but carries this trick to the point of obtrusiveness. Her appear-

ance

is

very beautiful.

The author was

called,

but did not appear. Angry, the

May

79 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

audience shouted

your

little

Short

330.

all sorts

Gabriel taken

saddened /

life

of nasty remarks.

The

boldest of

1902)

them was: "Has

again?"

off

much discontent / must paint / shameful /


/ super-score / huddled on the piano stool / shake

/ sour striving /

a real giant

one's curls.

Rain
believe

at night.
it.

feel

Something

me

tells

the

lie

that

glum and humble. The heart

have

Only the night outside weeps. Loneliness. The


Altherr corrected me: "Better say: the wine!"
tears.

Ancient sculpture at the Vatican.

335.

dearly.

No

be uniquely beautiful).

feeling for the

338.
first

his store.

could almost

Without

was the

culprit.

already loved the

my

in

Muses

of one of the boys

is

understanding for the Cnidian Venus.

Here, in agreement with Burckhardt.

and wander through

sirocco

Laokoon group (the thorax

New

found myself more mature

growing admiration for the Apollo Belvedere.

said to

lost you.

rebels, the eye burns.

German

Tomorrow
is

spoken

shall

go to Spitthofer's

there.

From Saturday to Sunday I went on my second Roman binge.


we had celebrated the first day on Gymnasium-hallowed ground.

day's brought a severe hangover. This time

On

the

Yester-

had no vaccination pimples

to

get rid of.

The day

339.

waiting for

gave

me

bookshop

in the

Back home

purchases.

me

ferma

in posta.

courage and

will

be recalled

as

one of the

find a yellow slip informing

The

me

finest.

expectation of a letter from

tried to reach the goal

few

that something

my

is

fiancee

by myself. In vain, because

The second try, with Haller,


him the courage to use his good

started off with the notion "customs office."

worked.

cure for stammering

knowledge of spoken

them

340.

never

Italian.

now

Two

it

said:

"Beethoven Quartets."

own

a series of the

tire

of spreading

gives

heavy parcels soon rested in

my

arms.

On

most beautiful photos of ancient statuary. ...


them out before me. It purifies me of certain desires.

I
I

80 / Diary II

flirt

(with Muses) and

ment from

In January

341.

am

the better for

no longer believe

it. I

in the banish-

paradise.

I'll

join the Association of

German

When

in

back to drawing from nature.

am

back

Artists in order to get

Bern next winter

time and opportunity to learn anatomy very thoroughly,

know

like a

have

I'll

medical

stu-

To

be independent of these

horrible models! For satirists too like to be free

and independent. Now,

Once

dent.

thunder

is

intensely,

that,

I'll

know

everything.

rumbling again, most strangely,

as

below the ground,

if

making everything tremble. And

this at

faintly

and

Christmas! Earthquake

mood.

A cry of longing

342.

Rejane

than D'Annunzio. For

style

world into a

for her. It

is

me

it

was

saw

walk through an almost forgotten

immoral. But the actress

was followed by a small dialogue

called

is

life. It

a soubrette (Lolotte), comical, daring,

play

was certainly better than La Duse, with more

present-day

slice of actual

world of the play

At the theater (Dramatico Nazionale)

for Paris.

in a Parisian farce. It

in

gave
is

me

The

food for thought.

decent, and the play

is

there

which Rejane plays the part of

and beautiful throughout. The main

La Parisienne (by Henri Becque).

man who is not one-sided but who is yet concentrating on one aim, I've
fought my way through many different things. As a maturing boy I experienced my most burning dreams. My first attempts to make them real brought
As

very middling results, and sometimes shameful ones. However,


ridicule;

it is

So, shameful experiences raised


this

Roman

As

apparitions like those in

On

when

higher and higher, up to the asceticism of

my

was surrounded

in the loges

early daydreams.

years later

fairy-tale

female

kind of melancholy came

is

a little

wood. There

as a

boy

were both upsetting and enjoyable with a delightful

stole

by

listening to Schubert.

the Beatenberg there

When

shunned

period.

entered the theater,

over me, as

me

on such occasions.

particularly difficult to be personally present

girl

played games that

from Neuchatel.

returned to those old haunts, feelings similar to today's

upon me. Rejane's

fascinating diction was partly responsible for

my

81 / Italian Diary

state.

One

forgets oneself, one's daily work; the

seriousness

343.

{October 1901

is

blown away. The

/ do / sigh no /

rest

little girl, too,

one would have to be

The

Plautus.

Birds

quite delightful!

Continual downpours with thunder and lightning. The windows


The absence of passion in Pellico's Francesca da Rimini is amazing.
alive? Long live old Aristophanes.

Song
but

in praise of vino

up

tear

Schiwago
us.

as a

is

Last winter,

woman

a serious person,

am

An

don't

my

part of this correspondence

know why a certain tension existed


also made good drawings and

She

talent.

extremely attractive personality.


It

Unfortunately,

puts a certain pressure on her.

told, she suffered

him what

he loved. For

if

fate.

church mouse.

couldn't be to

flask,

forced to use granatina di spagna

from before our engagement. Certain

wouldn't mind

Wassiliew had more

expressive caricatures.

poor

am

fiancee's letters dating

were to suffer the same

347.

sometimes

wine that stimulates the wit more, but incredibly sweet.

my

turns of phrase irritate me.

between

tremble.
Is it still

vermouth, the drink, three quarts, the large

so dangerous that

it is

instead, a little

as

1902)

whole beauty of unworldly

made of stone / to blame the child for it.


Read early comic playwrights, like Aristophanes and
is

May

spoke French.

secretly, swiftly

to

from her breakup with Haller. She

he, as an uncomplicated person,

this she

still

demanded

of the

lacked the courage, which only a certain

maturity provides. She had tried to be friends. But of course that never works

once Eros has made

his appearance,

wants to grow to the point where he

even though

it

is

unconsummated. He

have his way once and

will

for

all.

And

so they parted (as Haller tells it)

Can one not tell bv


The forehead

difficult?

Reality hardly

makes

Sapellnikoff (later

Trio in B. 1914)

was great

looking at Demosthenes that he


indicates the greatest strain.

finds speaking
is

good.

a greater impression.

once played music with him and Barjansky: Schubert's

heard

at this music.

cian in the orchestra,

still

The photograph

as a boy, while vibrating to


recall

sat verv

him

as a

broad

near him.

figure,

Chopin. Sapellnikoff

but not

tall;

as a

musi-

82 / Diary II

Today

12.19.1901.

informed Haller that

had dreamed about Fraulein

Wassiliew, whereupon he claimed that he had dreamed about "You."

funny

moment, provided he was not just parrying. After that, he remained silent
for some time; evidently he was still preoccupied, not by this incident, but
by the

affair

was not

confided in
in

Bern

alluded

it

to.

In the Palazzo degli Conservatori he noted that he

While we ate he spoke again of Wassiliew and


way he never had before. He too had already known her

sufficiently receptive.

(I,

me

in a

since childhood); they painted landscapes together in the neigh-

Munich he brought her

boring countryside. In

and followed her

to Knirr's

everywhere. For a time they both lived in the same boardinghouse, until

went broke; that

my

they also came to

man

play the third

it

probably where they saw most of each other. Occasionally,

is

studio on Amalienstrasse;

because

was having an

was the right person to

and indeed

affair,

was always

it

very cozy and pleasant. Later Schiwago joined us and the four of us were

often together, and a fine clearness and candor reigned


temporarily. Haller
is

to be

found

became

secretive

and

sullen.

he made to

in the confession

me

The

among

cause of

today.

was such
rally

But only
suppose,

During the summer

of 1900 he wrote passionate letters to Wassiliew, then in Basel.

went: "If you wish to remain a virgin, you must not see

us.
it,

me

good daughter that she asked Father Wassiliew

One

of

them

any more." She

for advice!

Natu-

he didn't want to send her back to Munich. But then she promised not

anymore and was allowed

to see Haller

Munich

to return to

to be "friends" failed of course,

and now

Munich.

An

attempt

in

Wassiliew herself asked

that they separate, because of her promise. Haller

now moved

closer to

Schiwago. Probably Wassiliew had told her about their anguish, and Schiwago
felt called

upon

to act the

motherly adviser; such

a role surely

appealed to

her great goodness. This got her quite intimately acquainted with Haller.

Perhaps he hoped to find a substitute in her. At any


us in the process

me

harm, for

ribly furious

and

also

myself was going

my own

about the stealthy ways of

Today Haller claims

rate,

he withdrew from

drew Schiwago away from me. Without causing

that he

separate way.

his friend

Only Brack was

ter-

Mandu.

had no love relationship with Schiwago but

only friendship, or at most a love relationship without any sensuality. Because Schiwago, he says, has no sensual leanings whatsoever.

be?

Can

such a thing

May

83 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

Now his hopes


to Russia.

on Wassiliew again, because Schiwago has returned

are fixed

believe he

1902)

would be capable of marrying Wassiliew

him

afford to. In short, the prospect for

is

if

he could

not really very splendid.

Haller drew closer to me in the last year of high school and I responded.
At that time I was richer and more mature. In Munich I still was, at first.
That kept him in check and made him respect me. But suddenly he became
a

man; he managed

difficult nature.

it

abruptly and joltingly, because he had to conquer his

sharp

mind helped him

in the process.

remained copious

and confused, which created disharmony. He became impossible


ways and upset

little

my

many good

best for him, as long as

elements in our friendship.

my own

within

it is

interests.

in a

I still

hundred

want

to

do

However, the sharp

eye that watches over the limits of these interests sours friendship disturbingly.

350.

That Aristophanes!

wish

comedy (attempts

too might write a good

in that genre followed).

1902
355.

The

On

January

Association of

narrow.

distraction. It

on

German

handsome and

after all while

the

1st, for

first

time

again drew from nature: a foot.

Artists has a comfortable place, only

well-knit

male model was posing.

not working from nature. Life-drawing

became

my

best foot, not

a large scale; his attention

life-size, far

somewhat

have progressed

almost a pleasant

is

from

was drawn to the fact that

it.

his

Haller worked

way

of shaping

forms was Baroque, and he was urged to overcome this tendency by observing
the good and bad examples of

357.

it

in

Rome.

Sunday, January 5th, we went up for the

crown of the seven

hills.

the year round, as

if

grow

fairylike

there,

and

strange immigrants.

view of the

brilliant day.

this hill

had

time to the Palatine, the

a privileged climate. Pines

palm

trees,

of the

with thick crowns

and groteque cactuses looking

understand the emperors

Forum must be one

first

Vegetation grows and blooms there

who swaggered up

most splendid

in the world.

here.

like

The

Nowadays

84 / Diary II

mass could have

this ruinous

didn't atone for

as

it,

a foretaste of Pompeii.

The

yesterday.

vessels for oil

Domus

The expanse

Around

and wine

huge wreath.
if

Or

of the palace of Augustus!

this gigantic ruin the

over decay,

fabulous light

if

are

in the kitchen.

still

St. Peter's, in

just the race track!

laughing splendor of modern

the eternal sky didn't spread

And

individual's

fame

Caught up

lies like

triumph

it.

All things have


useless that the

survives.

in these thoughts,

wise to enjoy your


vious

it's

vault above

its

Rome

dome would be

the distance, whose

their time, this marvel will suffer a catastrophe too.

us,

Livia has beautiful murals,

wine-jugs are pointed at the bottom, so they can be buried in the earth

easily.

The

on

a shattering effect

happened

of

little bit

life

begin to

naively,

feel

downcast. Wouldn't

somewhat

as the

it

be

seemingly imper-

modern Roman does who strolls this ground with a tune on


him from envy, but today there is some envy in my

don't hate

his lips.
feelings.

(Better to sleep, best not to have been born.)

These

my

are not

best,

but

ought to have "You," to forget

358.

One

of the

among my most

The

There

is

moments. And now

most beautiful aspects of antiquity appears

Banquet. The presentation fascinates by


jesting.

lucid

subject matter

is

its

grace,

Xenophon's

in

by the refinement of

serious enough, Socrates

is

to see your face

it,

if

but doesn't approve of carnal intercourse.

you were to

enter, led

by the

writer's

its

the main theme.


is

well

would

like

talk of love, of that flawed manifestation of the time. Socrates

acquainted with

it all.

hand, into the house

where a phenomenon is being unambiguously discussed whose


"You" were only half willing to believe when I told you about it.
penetrate more and more deeply into the ancient world.

of Callias,

existence

Thus
359.

1.8.1902. In the Teatro Costanzi: Favorita

by Donizetti. Perhaps this


a reminder of Halevy

wasn't the right opera of that master to hear

first. It is

and Meyerbeer rather than the delightful


enough to destroy you. One of them sang

if

cently, like
like figure

at

all.

as

The

singers'

cadenzas are

from another world, magnifi-

like

God

himself.

rather disturbing.

The

others didn't sing extraordinarily well

an archangel or
is

Rossini.

The ensembles were

The

tenor Bonci. His sparrow-

well conducted (conductor, Vitale); good, very

May

85 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

The

large choir, superb orchestra.

spark of dramatic

acting

The Tolstoy and Murger books

360.

No

condition, where

deplorable; they

all

ride every

to death.

life

only superficially.

is

1902)

am

Boheme.

arrived.

ray of sunlight reaches

fond of sojourning.

down

sun that warms

to the depths of the

human

kind of reading indulged in on

the side, like a cigarette, like a daydream at sunset. But then,

do have time

for leisurely reading.

Acharneans, a most enjoyable play.

Aristophanes'

doesn't stand up next to

Rome

Zola's

much

poorer

aluminum

tudes.

Bramarbas

Plautus'

would

also like to read

Schmoll von Eisenwert. Haller already knows

hope

to benefit

from

pen or with lithographic

plates with

1.14.1902. Yesterday

saw

Otero; at

When

am

pleased that he also

He

his technical experience.

la belle

guerita. First, a half-dozen singers, five of

Then

sort.

had only heard about him from Trappt.

an engraver.

362.

here.

third person joined us:

him,
is

it,

draws on

pencil.

Mar-

in the Variete Salone

Otero

whom

were not

at all unpleasant.

she sang in a rather poor voice, posing in exquisite

first

atti-

she started playing the castanets she seemed unsurpassable.

short, breathless pause,

and a Spanish dance began.

Now

at last the real

Otero! She stands there, her eyes searching and challenging, every inch a

woman,

frightening as in the enjoyment of tragedy. After the

the dance she

And

rests.

then mysteriously, as

appears clothed in a whole


It

has not yet abandoned

even more intensely.


conscious of

it

here.

not only to
at issue

is

Of

part of

An

unsurpassably perfect

leg.

relaxed pose, when, alas, the dance begins again,

pleasure becomes so strange that one

is

after all of

an

is

no longer

orgiastic character, the artist can learn

course there would need to be

feel the

still

another dancer

law of movement, but also to understand

it.

if

The

one

is

point

perhaps only the complication of linear relations that subsist be-

tween bodies
research.

of colors.

first

were autonomously, a leg

as such.

Apart from what

much

The

new world

its

it

at rest.

This topic for the time being constitutes

my

real field of

86 / Diary II
Sentences caught in a dialogue:

363.

Watch, now

show you something; namely, the best way to hang myself.


life in this or that manner would still be possible. But
neither manner suits me. Therefore, I want relief, quick relief. / What are
I

I'll

have reflected that

What

you doing there? / Go, you disturb me. /


Friends

had. /

What

None

a super-poison-bottle?

my

men, look into

Want

to see,

364.

January

16,

to see

went

to his

"You" must go

is

365.

me

as a super-rope, as

What

your intention? /

is

as salvation?

must go and

see Nother.

during the evening life-drawing session. Finally

to the peasant

his wife

was

which puts the

ill,

rate, he's

at a distance.

dance with a good conscience. Be merry,

then "you" become amorous.

the malleability of the flesh

by

pressure. Eyes dazzled

same

Rome. / Rome

he had better be kept

tipsy, for
is

were your friend? /

I'm caught! Isn't Lismann rather officious? At any

so insignificant that

Sensuality

to

into the eye of the old friend of

home, but he wasn't there and

off. Still,

but don't get

Look

1902. Because of Lismann,

Nother thereupon spoke


matter

other! /

eye gray with age. / Strange!

we want

if

brought salvation? / Salvation

if I

colors.

when

it is

submitted to higher

Ears drenched in sound. Noses in odors.

The

true for the organs of love.

Puccini's

La Boheme.

Excellent performance.

ponents, given equal importance, interact.

How

A work

all

in

which

all

com-

the details, which have

such an amusing effect in Murger, have been sacrificed to the main elements
of the plot.

mad change

The

cast of characters

of miser}'

and

is

lust for

a fact in itself, indivisible amidst the

life.

As

drama

this primitive,

unmoti-

vated business would

make only

however, everything

humanized with such penetrating emphasis that the

is

poor impression. Through the music,

keenest pity extends to these people and their destinies as ennobled.


ful

language of music accomplishes

In the death scene, particularly,

The

fate-

this.
it

attains a beauty such as doesn't often

occur.

The main instrument seems

to be the violin,

which can't

revel

enough

in

87 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

May

1902)

pathos and dithyramb, while at the same time powerful bass tones introduce
a

note of somber destiny.


Victorious

little

Bonci sang the Poeta, Pasini-Vitale gave a superb

Mimi. The staging and acting were good

pretation of

inter-

time (realismol),

this

the death-scene was played masterfully indeed.

366.

Excursion into the Campagna. ... At the evening life-drawing

sion a ravishing

little

perhaps because

model

poses, the

don't have practice

plump Maria. I'm no longer


any more (?). Passion can

transferred to other domains. Small agitations in friendship. Haller

ning to hate Schmoll. Schmoll


lessons

from

a little polish to his Italian.


to juggle

daring,

the

still,

Schmoll

is

him. Haller's electric spine.

The main

Another symptom of agitation

about in certain criminal

which leads him

no harm;

irritates

clergyman to cure his stuttering.

activities.

We

He

takes

to give

is

Haller's urge

suffers satisfied us!

a fine comrade. His drawings of landscapes are

intimate relation with nature.

undertaken with

He is a landscape
who stands in an

poet

Haller can't understand him.

try to

into this sensibility of his, since something can be picked

from him here and

be

begin-

do some catastrophic things. At bottom, we mean

to

damage he

painter through and through, even in character.

my way

is

also
is

express doubts about his

the greatest love and executed with the utmost delicacy.

feel

result

ses-

at ease,

up

there, in regard to the expressiveness of materials, for

example.

Nother

only

visit

out of politeness, at

first

without

my

violin. First, take

the time to give the place a sniffing-over.

But why did God put

this sweet, stupid

Maria

And

in front of us? Girls, so

goes the talk, are hard to

come by

than those in Munich.

only for their clean underwear!

If

Thursday, January 23d.


park of the Villa Borghese.
the

human

drew

The

here.

few queerly shaped

On January

in

What

my compositions.

24th

had

more appetizing

tree trunks in the

linear principles here are similar to those of

body, only more tightly related.

once put to use

yet they are

a serious talk

with Haller.

have thus learned

at

88 / Diary II

367.

Four epigrams on

368.

1.27.1902. Performance of the Meistersinger (maestricantori)

a given

rhyme-scheme.

Every-

thing went off very smoothly, almost militarily. Impeccable voices, pure;

gorgeous sound of the orchestra.


ened.

Even

in the Prelude the

everything was distorted and weak-

Still,

Beckmesser theme was completely misunder-

harmonious

stood; the pointed fugue-tone turned into mild,


into something meaningless.

There were

figures, that

is,

tempo.

also plenty of mistakes in the

Later Beckmesser also had a melodious, finely tuned lute and a wonderful

David made big sounds.

voice. Sachs

was German enough, but

The women

better, Pasini-Vitale was excellent as Eva, quite unrecognizable

after her

Mimi, which

is

as

it

also crude.

should be.

And

the beating scene and the quintet.

The

quintet did not sound quite authentic here.

was a complete

The work was

failure.

public called for encores of

so there were two beatings.

The

The celebration on the meadow

cut noticeably.

Still,

everyone stood

when

the garlands were distributed in order to slip away by-and-by.

369.

Tuesday, January 28th. Today in Munich the peasant ball takes place

which "You"

in

that enjoys the


dei Fiori

participate.

moment.

made

am made

My

an hour or two

life-class,

lie

women,

which takes

sigh softly, as

We

now

too,
I

is

just

happy disposition

At the market on the

Campo

a couple of old frames

and an

differently.

filled

with deepest longing.

down on my bed because I'm

in this way.

here, as in a salon, appears to

of the

naturally

compositions look good in a frame.

in the afternoon

sleep for

evening

You Your

go to bed thinking of "You" and

Often
I

grant

few modest purchases,

imitation Tanagra.

me
me

At dusk

set

out on

across the Corso.


like

something

The

in a

sometimes quite incredible. The

now

sighed in a dream.

am

like a

cold. Mostly,

my way

to the

whirl of activity

dream.

The beauty
And

fairy-tale eyes.

young monk.

eat al vero frascati, Piazza Colonna, after Sorgin

had taken

to

thinning our wine with water.

Schmoll gave

me

Niels Lyhne, a novel by the soulful Jacobsen.

lated by Schmoll, but

can't confide in him.

am

stimu-

He is too one-sidedly German.


few inescapable fleas. I am on

Outwardly, I am in good shape, despite a


good terms with Civetta. I am allowed to caress

her.

My

heart

is

calmer than

89 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to


in

Munich. Once

week

pumps

it

hard.

The warm

May

winter also has

1902)

good

its

features.

Since
right.

parted from "You,"

want no part

Currently

371.

German

of

am

painting with

sentimental poet.

against antiquity (Attica)

On

have spoken to no woman, and also find

this

it.

A
.

venomous pleasure on themes from

result of reactions against Schmoll, or in reaction

Niels Lyhne.

February 4th there was a thunderstorm such

as occurs

only in the

middle of summer north of the Alps; then followed a golden day, then an
April-like confusion.

Every evening, regular life-drawing course from


association.

My earlier studies

of the

nude

are

six to eight at

more

effective,

my

the

artists'

current ones

are unattractive analyses of forms.

Ancient

There
It

is

is

remains the chief thing for

Italy

a certain

melancholy

in the fact that

me

even now, the main

no present

lives

up

basis.

to this past.

probably ironical that ruins should be admired more than what has been

well preserved.

Yesterday

372.

we went out to the Ponte molle, half an hour away from


The Tiber has risen considerably, is even much dirtier

the Porta del Popolo.

than usual, and in places has completely inundated the street leading to
St. Peter's.

It

sweeps along a great deal of wood, for which people are

erally fishing at

hooks

made

the Ponte molle.

from twigs

tied

always haul in a good catch.

We

spectacle:

fine

toward

string

Must hark back

lady, galloped

menial two

became

lost in side streets.

the booty,

and almost

Romulus.

we had chosen, because

Two

riders, a

feet were.

two toads locked

in

As compensation, we were treated

embrace

in the bushes.

The male

of

gentleman and a

unconcernedly through the flooded area and we realized

human

lit-

people cast wooden

to the time of

couldn't easily follow the return route

the flood, and

of

to

how

to the sight

small and agile,

the female unnaturally swollen, almost to the point of bursting. Misinterpreting the act at

first,

we

was quite wild. "Phew,

tried
this

is

(Schmoll and

I)

really disgusting!"

to separate them.

Schmoll

he kept saying, and resorted

90 / Diary II
to his cane.

away

When

in a huff,

he had succeeded

but his

them, the male sneaked

in separating

mate remained

fat

on her back,

helplessly prostrate

Sumptuous

expressing her great misery by agitating her limbs heavenward.

orange spots on her belly lent the business a contradictory splendor.


rible

too

thought

to take

From

late.

it

Let us remember

My

for

it

can be seen

live for

2.6.1902.

373.

terday

two

lire

a day.

fortunately entered

how

difficult

is

lucid,

hor-

all

immediately lay down

my

all,

to separate

beings.

German boardinghouse

break of dawn. Considered objectively


pretty one, least of
is

my mind

there,

where

A hint from above.

o'clock disappeared from the face of the earth.

there

after

is it,

human

We now regularly drink a heavy red wine

was so sweet that

it

bird

even though we are

this,

plan to go to Naples. There

one can

my

one can see how nastiness comes into being; from the

this,

example of the two toads


lovers.

home

it

at

Now

from

Frascati. Yes-

home and

at eleven

I'm awake before the

might be that

my

gigantic thirst for the bottle.

is

not a

me

alone

state

For

something strangely stimulating about these moments. The mind

an end

fallen asleep,

hidden things,

possibilities,

is

broadened. Early days, things

in itself; thinking processes are

melodies of the past and the future,

and

timeless plans, float by, one after the other,

feel rich

under a hoard

and must have hope. Then the day wakes, the nearness, the sharpand I am disturbed. I close my eyes in order not to see it, fall asleep

of gifts
ness,

again, heavily,

am

assailed

by dreams, and frequently awaken only

in the

course of the afternoon without feeling restored.

374.
ties.

work with tempera, using pure water,

Two

or three days for a head, a day for each

feet,

the

same

for the waist,

arm and each

and every appendage

Haller proceeds quite differently, because he


color effect. In
I

shall

tive

to avoid all technical difficul-

In this way everything goes slowly and well, one thing after the other.

make

means.

my

is

day for the

striving for a kind of organic

case the color only decorates the plastic impression.

the attempt to transpose nature directly into

Work

leg, a

day each.

goes

more

freely

on an empty

to forsaking the sterner kind of morality.

To

put

it

belly,

my

but

Soon

present crea-

it

easily leads

bluntly, exactness suffers

May

9i / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

from

In particular,

it.

never want to reproach myself with drawing incor-

because of ignorance.

rectly

'Tour" sweet note brought

The news

of detailed news.

me

and soothed

joy

have from Bern

has to stay in bed from time to time, and

mood of her
And there

the depressed
this

1902)

letters.

pessimism!

How

is

me

with the expectation

know when

My

not very good.


this

mother

happens from

have had to defend myself against

the prospect of having to live there for

is

some

time in order (without worries) to go on working.


I'm often
cine.
is

"Your"

irritable;

Power

read Tolstoy's

not without brutality.

The

confession

falls

He

under

letters

then have the effect of a soothing medi-

of Darkness;

could be an

it

makes

this heading.

a strong impression,

here he

artist;

is first

The man had

to

of

all a

but

fanatic.

hang himself

to

preserve his ethical equilibrium.

"Your" adventures

2.12.1902.

375.

really delightful; for

ment

too,

It

that he

is

my

wasn't to

About Schmoll

is

Karpeles there, are

at the ball, with

and he probably convinced himself

that he was getting his revanche, since

from him.

is

him

credit,

most

once snatched a

for a

mo-

woman away

likely.

he consumptive or

woman

in disguise?

can add

only a female painter. His intellectual and emotional world

really

completely feminine (Haller openly questions his

virility).

During

his

ecstasies in the

Park Borghese he becomes furious when Haller from time to

time gives

contented belch.

off a

He

is

a pietist, a canting beauty-worshipper,

has no appreciation for the salt of truth, can't transgress anywhere with a
sense of humor.
is

He

believes himself a

German. Whether in the good sense,


German, for there have been

questionable. Perhaps one shouldn't be

Greeks, Romans, and Popes. There are higher values even


mans'. Alertness of the
fact,

Goethe

is

spirit,

not dreaminess,

the only bearable

German in his way).


To begin with, Niels Lyhne

is

German

But

little

And

now than

the Ger-

such a value. As a matter of

myself would like perhaps to be

well written;

the heart to the ends of the fingers.

and too

(I

is

still I

it is

felt

find in

it

from the bottom of


too

many blossoms

of the plant's total organism: a mollusk poesy without spine.

haven't yet progressed far enough to pass a definite judgment.

92 / Diary

Now my

H
screech owl

expectedly encountered
I

want

flies

up

him up

to

little

Those apes

And

is

un-

never have the talent to equal

I'll

human. Uglier than the devil, but otherwise


him, begotten by him on a shriveled witch. O northern
fit

in

Rome.

(Monday and Tuesday). Excursion


and

I).

At

six in

to Porto d'Anzio

the morning

by the

we began

to

program we had planned the previous evening over the fourth

quart of wine.

With

boat." In a way,

a radiant

sun and a fresh breeze, we decided to take a

was the only one whose nerve

sailing trip. Altherr

had

well; after the third

to

admit he was

hour we got

right.

failed,

all

right

seasick, since

sailors'

the tiny harbor at Porto d'Anzio

We

said,

"Damned

we made
I

felt

little

headway and

chipper again, and

my

catastrophe

boats and laughing witnesses).

The life of
many boats,

toward the end.

occurred within sight of

and

For two hours everything went

ran into nasty, choppy waves; the last two hours,

completely

Except for the

lugubrious existence

withal, terribly

sea (Altherr, Haller, Schmoll,

carry out the

The most

morally below zero.

O Blocksberg. He doesn't
2.25/26

376.

stories.

in the park of the Villa Borghese! Adorable.

closely related to
jungle.

own. Last night

presents.

one baboon, which


ever saw.

its

Beethoven Quartets that "You" sent me. Today the

to play the

books arrived with Jacobsen's short


these

bastone on

its

there.

is

were

far

out (but

Out on

delightful.

the sea,

dolphins, and lastly, the phosporescence; something quite wonderful. Dinner

afterward was a feast; unfortunately

We

my

slept marvelously, in spite of a big

How

he washed!

He

chair

went on swaying

bedbug. Altherr

is

for hours.

rather eccentric.

sprayed water on himself from the wash basin, but

kept jumping back a step each time. In the morning his snores awakened me.

As he was about

to

choke from snoring, he started and said

in his sleep: "Silly

thing, eats flies."

The weather changed completely

that night,

and

the sea and scoured the land. There were a good

Boat

after

boat with their

we were watching from

sails

a powerful

many

storm whipped

spectacular scenes.

torn to shreads took refuge in the

little

harbor:

the mole, almost swept away by the wind and cov-

ered with brine from the breaking waves. Altherr wearing his frock-coat.
surf

was particularly impressive

in Nero's

The

Grotto (once a posh bathing place),

93 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to


near which

is

the scenery pictured in Feuerbach's "Medea."

May

1902)

now

under-

stood at once the peculiar waves in this painting. Haller went swimming;
it

was beautiful to watch him hurling himself across the

surf.

The

rest of us

were content with foot baths. Until noon the storm brought us rain and

drenched us

in spite of

ing a butterfly and put on a

sand than in the coat.

He

our raincoats. Altherr's frock-coat!

comical he was and adapted himself to

The

mad

it;

realized

how

he suddenly pretended to be chas-

which he was more dressed

act, after

in

return trip in wet clothes, a glimpse of the Alban

Lake. At home, put on fresh things from head to foot.

The

You imagine

that you are no

shore near Porto d'Anzio

is

glorious.

longer in this world. Everything

is

unfamiliar, from the smallest

to the aloes

and the

cactuses.

The

trees often dwarflike.

changes in shape, what lines this produces! Anzio


neighboring Nettuno, which resembles a

fortress.

The

itself lies a little

behind

In the west, small islands

mountains down

are visible (Brigands' Islands), in the south,

anemone

coast frequently

to the region

of Naples. Close by, the very characteristic Circe's Cape.

My

relationship with Haller has

become

clear: neither rancor,

nor hatred,

nor love, nor friendship, but habit and nothing but habit.

378.

3.1.

Excursion into the Campagna, in a

New

Agnese out into the magnificent Campagna.


the company.

The

only danger

is

too

much

fair-sized

group; from

St.

elements gradually enlarge

fun. Herr Sohn-Rethel,

from the

Rhineland, chases every butterfly (Haller stutters and acts proud), Altherr
of Basel

is

completely out of his mind. Caspar acts

Schmoll

is

impotent and acts

We

ecstatic.

can

all

German and
agree only

if

is

a Jew.

we have

wine. Often the waves here rise almost as high as they did on the sea the

other day.

We

tried to get a dish of risotto

from some peasants, but

The first bad meal in Italy.


With the same crowd we went once

it

was hardly

edible.

scratched-out eyes.

One day Sohn

to a

wine

circulated a 1,000-lire bill

on purpose, half by mistake. Sohn turned


following day the bank replaced the

bill.

among
pale,

His

Enormous

cellar.

Heavy Syracusans, harmless, but

cats with

terrible nuisances.
us.

tore

it

in two, half

but we pacified him.

fright, fitting

punishment.

The

94 / Diary

New

379.

An

II

compositions.

aristocratic boy,

The

satire

weak and

is

mood.

dissolved in a slightly mournful

golden

sensitive, strides over the ruins of a

an epigone.

age,

Then, treated the theme of "The Three Boys" anew and with more
ment. Besides,

begin to hope in a vague way of creating with

not only intellectual works but beautiful ones.


subtle

and

am

sending "You" a

was

road will be long, the task

photograph: Haller and

little

he

snapped the picture

on

was

a bridge of the
just right.

The

exquisite.

month

Before this

is

over

want

to go to Naples,

plans as of now, because the necessary

Teatro Albano (Popular Opera)


Francesca da Rimini.
Enthusiastic audience.

(Matches lighting up
I

but

have no definite

hasn't arrived yet.

At the

heard a piece of trash, an opera called


price

was low and the atmosphere

my memory,

pageboy remain

In the same theater

money

gay.

good prima donna had landed here by mistake. The

calves of a
all.

The admission

least of

own

refine-

intensity

intricate.

Tiber. Here Schmoll's taste


light

The

new

in

otherwise nothing, the music

in the house.)

had heard Mascagni's Rantzau under the composer's

direction. Pretty awful.

We

March with Cleo de Merode, probably the most


Her head, everyone knows. But her neck must actually
be seen. Thin, rather long, smooth as bronze, not too mobile, but with delicate tendons, the two tendons close to the breastbone. This breastbone and
380.

beautiful

spent the 6th of

woman

alive.

the clavicles (inferences about the bare thorax).


ered, so that

are

hidden

it

is

harmonizes well with the bare

more deplorable

Her body

parts.

when

from one leg to the other. In compensation, her leg

more

which

is

very shrewdly draped.

The arm

and then there is the play


mechanism of the hand reflect,

variously alive;

proportions and

wisdom

is

is

is

tightly cov-

fact that the hips

in that her virtuoso's art of

reveal the effects of a peculiar logic, for instance

foot,

The

movement must

she shifts her weight

almost bare,

classic,

only

more

as

is

of the articulations.
in small, the

the

refined,

The

beauty and

of the organism as a whole.

This has to be looked at with precision: here the main

and no substitute of

a pathetic sort

is

lines are

not enough,

available (she seems asexual).

The

95 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to


substance of the dance

XVI. Next

the gavotte of Louis

in

(Tanagra) suited her

best.

An

is

the same

in the

to the gavotte,

is

more

do

difficult to

the Greek dance

standing such as the Parisians seem to have. Here


little

all this is

that

than Otero; she presupposes an under-

justice to

reception was friendly, but a

soul,

Spanish dance

Asiatic dance was not convincing. After every

dance she completely changed costume. The consequence of


she

1902)

No

in the soft-lined evolutions of the body.

is

no temperament, only absolute beauty. She


as

May

pig

who

it is

certainly lacking.

The

followed her act was a more spec-

tacular success.

381.

3.10.

Tosca by Puccini. Such atrocious things seldom occur, even on

La Boheme,

the stage. In contrast to

the action here

naturally produces rougher impulses in the music.

good,

Emma

Carelli

Reading: the

382.

The

be

volume of

first

mans. Especially since


culture.

And

Rome,

Zola's

terrible

ever,

Tacitus' History of the

and grandiose picture of the

last of

believe in succession through the Ger-

was impossible to permeate Germany with Latin

it

we not be

should

very

staging was lavish.

and Nero; the

Today more than

antiquity.

extremely taut, which

was wonderful, the orchestra incredibly rhythmic and

pathologically sensuous.

Caesars, Tiberius

is

The performance was

able to germanize Russia,

some

last future will

hers.

'Three Boys."

384.
I

I.

me

can hit birds in their

flight. I

myself

made my bow. This

art

makes

proud.

Last spring

II.

thing.

my

felt

quiet yearning

arms twitch,

made me wander

believed
off

should embrace some-

with the clouds.

Why

did

shed tears then?


III.

as

I.

She was not one of the lovely

As

seized her,

At the same time


from woman.

face.

385.

The Epigone.

through the present,

she was a

woman, almost

as strong

the pulse of her hot blood, her breath seared

my

whole being glowed

In
I

girls,

felt

me

for the liberation that

my

comes

runs the blood of a better time. Sleepwalking

cling to the ancient

homeland, to the grave of

my

96 / Diary

II

homeland. For the


help

my

devoured everything. The southern sun does not

soil

sufferings.

The Spanish dancer Guerrero


in

her act

all,

and delightfully

well built

is

upper part of the body lacks mobility,

ing, the

cheerful. All

too light to be more than entertaining. Technically speak-

is

remains too

it

stiff

amidst the

otherwise free flow of lines; the dance, as a result, sometimes gives the im-

The rhythm

pression of skipping.

"Mogens"

Jacobsen's

of the feet

particularly good.

is

a wonderful short story. Niels

is

story too so far as content

book had been given

in the epic vein. After the

Lyhne

a short

is

concerned, unfortunately treated too

is

me

to

by Schmoll

much

used to

Shows
stemmed from

get very angry about the marking of various passages with a pencil.

how

biased

"You/'

my

we

when

are, for

discovered that the marks

feelings turned completely around,

and

kissed one of these

passages.

Now

387.

am

going to write to the boardinghouse in Naples. There

another good model at the

life-class, so I'll

be glad to draw

till

week. Next Saturday then! Herr Caspar wanted to travel with me, but

he has decided

week

come

Rome and

longer in

Before

to

When

shall

shall

see

purpose of studying." For

now

what

I've gained.

time in

Paris.

Perhaps

Then

I'll

state of affairs pleases


after

Rome

it

again?

I'll first

can

still

me.

He who

Iris

and an

again, as

if I

had

to cover

my

push through

must,

my

demonic tenor

Borgatti.

will.

claim to spend a short

And

a while,

a trip to Paris from Bern,

might no longer be such

maybe?)

Two

One

in a

studies. In a way, this critical

by Mascagni. Strong impression owing to sometimes

ideal performance.

it

At any rate, never again "for the


have the damnable duty of exploiting

be "through" with

great strain. (Spring of 1903,

388.

do

have spared the family funds for

now

Haller and Schmoll are staying

later.

therefore don't have to be in a hurry about Naples.

go to Florence

or two.

few days

is

the end of this

important

artists,

phrase entrances

me

Emma

stirring

Carelli

altogether:

music

and the

97 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

NAPLES (EASTER,

9 O 2

May

1902)

Sunday, March 23d, in the morning. That evening, San Carlo:


Monday,
the harbor; in the afternoon, Posilipo.
Mefistofele.
Tuesday, San Martino-Corso Vittorio Emmanuele. German Consulate,
389.

Arrival,

Aquarium.
In those three days

keep up with

Genoa

Naples,

greatest misery

is

saw

Next

it.

much

so

my

that

to Genoa, Naples

is

account cannot even remotely

indolent, dirty,

onesided. Naples displays the greatest

harbor

and

Next

sick.

pomp

rides along the Corso, sophisticated opera,

life,

Rome: the Museo Nazionale.


scenery. The sea is more powerful

to

beside the

even

a touch of

In addition, the matchless, para-

disaical

in

Genoa, but

more monoto-

also

nous. Here, a real bay surrounded by singular coastal mountains and locked
in

by colorful

my

It lies at

voice.

On

And

islands.

feet, a giant

the

left,

can see

all this

my

from the balcony of

hemisphere, the magnificent city with

room.

roaring

its

town with the harbors and old Vesuvius; on the


Nazionale and the Posilipo. Around the house and

the old

right, .the

modern

behind

gardens with fresh greenery, fantastic shapes and a thousand blos-

it,

Villa

soms. This splendid lookout

Pensione Haase, Napoli.

The

called Salita del Petrajo, Villa de

is

sea

is

streets,

dark green parks.

Sheer joy gives

me

The

prospect

wings, suspends

The

gorgeously blue and quiet.

animated mixture of patches, blocks of houses


a

is

me

in sunlight

Rosa
city,

48,

an

and shadow, white

reminder of Christ's temptation.

at the center of spheric splendor, at

the world's navel.

But there

is

work

harbor, you try to

too,

quite different from

they are

down

it is

not always

there!

tattered, half naked.

what

it is

in the

am

neutral

be thoroughly infected

like this.

basis. Its

blossoms

hour of

lie

attracted
One

about

at the

What

to

people

in the sun, sick, lousy,

them without

delight of the artist

smile as

Below

rest.

incredible world that sounds

song of "Santa Lucia."

Ugly and poor, they

kind of knowledge-hungry aversion.

needs this as a

like this

make your way through an

rebel against

it,

is
I

pity,

with a

to let

himself

know my

art

will wilt easily until the great strengthen-

98 / Diary II

May

ing.

the day of proof come.

To

be able to reconcile the opposites!

To

express the great manifold in a single word!

Teatro San Carlo: Boito's Mefistofele, a kind of Faust. The performance

was somewhat uneven. The basso who sang the

title role

was superb. Gretchen

sang in a curiously refined way, quite simply and intimately, but she looked
so plain, almost Saxon.

music.

The

The

orchestra doesn't

tenor had some nobility but no grasp of the

match the one

in

Rome. Conductor Mascheroni

insipid.

Splendid theater, heavy and dark, gilded from top to bottom, somber,
gigantic.

For two

mon

folk.

Part of

lire I sat in

it I

the orchestra, in madly perfumed

among

air,

the com-

even conversed a bit with them and flattered their neapolitanism.

believed myself.

much of
The prima

hallo followed, almost too

display that was

rather small

and

new

to me.

dark, struck

me

as

good thing, with

a lavishness of

ballerina, a really very

young

girl,

being on the crude side according to any

standards of virtuosity.

The aquarium

390.

is

extremely stimulating. Especially expressive are such

and mussels. And snakelike monstrosities

native creatures as octopi, starfish,

with poisonous eyes, huge mouths, and pocketlike


over their ears, like humanity sunk in

out
as

like art-dealers;

if I

one

its

eyed

in particular

gullets.

prejudice.

me

The

Others

little

creature (transparent

and

works of Marees

back

half-year before,

the subject matter would have been quite strange to me, but

The

gelati-

its

The ghost of a sunken

steamship. Upstairs in the library the frescoes of Marees.

it.

affaril

swam on

spiritual)

with incessant movement, swirling a delicate pennon.

my way into

sand

in

with compromising familiarity,

were a new Bocklin and he a second Gurlitt. Niente

nous, angelic

sit

vulgar octopi stare

now

can

feel

presentation deeply and sincerely appealed to me. Certain

at Schleissheim

misled

me

in regard to

him

(a

judgment

that was later completely reversed )

391.

In the

of paintings

Museo Nazionale
from Pompeii.

was fascinated most of

When

entered

all

by the collection

was profoundly moved. The

May

99 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

And

ancient paintings, in part wonderfully well preserved.


to

me

at present.

tive colors.

me.

take

had anticipated the treatment of

personally. It

all this

was painted

for

is

very close

The

decora-

me and dug up

for

feel invigorated.

Maundy Thursday

392.

morning again

(3.27)

Consulate around four o'clock to ask whether


there's

none

Afterward

Pompeian

wall paint-

journal, then at the


I

German

could get aboard a warship.

in the harbor.

walked along the Corso Vittorio Emmanuele to the Posilipo

On

without any special plan.

reaching the tunnel,

and went through to the other

whose

at the

my

In the afternoon busy with entries in

ings.

But

this art

silhouette.

1902)

was

entire population

suddenly

felt enterprising

looked at the village called Fuorigrotta,

side,

and stared back

in the street

me. Then

at

followed the perfectly straight road for three quarters of an hour, to Bagnoli.

From

there (pestered by a

cabman who kept

sea,

two and

a half hours

and

tonic for sense

and the

tainous

large

No

soul.

and

town

The

so interesting.

is

Coroglio, and

Capo

you could

naive and nothing,

Bold islands (Ni-

moun-

di Posilipo; in the distance,

of Pozzuoli, the Phlegraean fields. Finally

my

feet.

displacements, the bloody sun, the deep sea


till

in

perspectives of the nocturnal sea are a

other coast

like a quiet harvest of lights at

upon theme,

home

lofty island of Ischia, the dangerously steep,

Capo Miseno, Capo

the picturesque

now

me) along the superbly

by way of the long ridge of the Posilipo, while a won-

drously clear night was falling.

sida)

trailing

back toward the Posilipo (twenty minutes), and then

foaming

lose yourself in

and yet happy.

filled
it.

good

It is

Naples again,

Oh, the overflowing jumble, the


with

To
to

tilted sailboats.

Theme

be human, to be ancient,

be so for once,

as

an excep-

tion, a holiday.

393.

there

As

Easter, 3.30. Since


is

a result,

bizarre sights.

have stayed

How

better here than in

back

Good

Friday the weather has been unsettled; today

an alternation of sunshine and showers, the two sometimes together.

later,

be

home

a bit

more and sketched

quickly you feel at

Rome.

Life

is

home

more

here.

few impressions,

believe

stimulating, stranger.

Neapolitan for a while. Enticing!

would
I

thrive

must come

ioo / Diary II
Yesterday, to the

394.

museum

for the third time, with

my

Burckhardt.

The

walk there along the broadly curving Corso, which gradually slopes downward,

is

eyes,

made

to us

ancient statuary, particularly the bronzes.

The

by statuettes with their coloring partly preserved. The

which one must imagine painted.

On
He

The

very attractive.

disclosures

April 1st Caspar arrived and at once felt

told about an

third person.

unhappy

He had

smart travelling outfit with knickers and ribbons (a

great deal of green), but only wore

it

the

first

attention and even aroused protests from

Schmoll.

time he went out.

some

It

attracted

fresh youngsters. Criticized

We readily agreed on this.

On

395.

happy and communicative.

love affair in his youth, speaking of himself in the

April 2d the two of us undertook a major excursion: Pompeii, Sor-

rento, Amalfi,

Gragnano.

April 2d: Pompeii, Castellamare, Sorrento.

April 3d: Sorrento, Positano, Amalfi.


April 4th: Amalfi, over the pass to Gragnano, Naples.

The undertaking met with complete success. It had development, variety,


and suspense. The weather was radiant. On the first day we spared our feet
like true

gentlemen.

At eight in the morning we took the train to Pompeii, visited the museum
and the ruins. Plaster casts of the bodies of people and dogs are very impressive.

Lovely buildings, a few temples and a wonderful house.

When

you have

seen the best works that were found here, which have been removed to

Naples, the place takes on

life.

After a morning spent this way

we had

a late

lunch in a garden restaurant in the new Pompeii. At the station where the
horse carriages stopped things were brisk and animated;

cab back to Sorrento for three

lire

what

to be asked twice, climbed into the


lords,

and trotted merrily

off to

prim

we were

a find that was!

little

We

offered a

didn't have

buggy, feeling like two young

Sorrento by way of Castellamare.

The

rascally

coachman was amusing. He was retroactively furious about the cheap price;
on the way he met a pal of his, who was allowed to hop aboard (fratello, of
course).

We

good-naturedly

who had to have a rear


dead tired. He looked more

old,

let

him

in.

Then came

seat in the carriage, for


like a

prowler to

us.

"nephew," ten years

he was a poor boy and

Caspar thought he would

ioi / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

May

1902)

be an annoyance to us on account of his strong odor, and we declined.


sigh

and

a curse rose

from the coachman's

heavenly prospect to another. Before


tried to raise the price a little.

stopped

just before

lived there,

reaching the

macaroni.

We

lire

trotted,

from one
driver
in

he

houses of Sorrento, claiming that he

first

to

walk the short distance. Now,

he proposed to drive us to the hotel for

a dish of

absolutely refused, and he followed us for a while in his cab,

proclaiming to one and


three

tip,

and on we

we reached our destination our


he saw that we would not give

and we alighted quite content

had received no

since he

When

seat,

all

that

we had been

driven here from Pompeii for

without buying him a dish of macaroni.

We

enjoyed this as an

adventure you don't experience every day. In town, a young agent took us

under his wing and led us to a dingy looking but good Albergo e Ristorante
della Scala,

Ferdinando d'Esporito, Piazza Tasso, on the main square, one

franc for the bed, the food good and cheap.

One

idyllic

thing about

it

was that

room we first had to go through another bedroom, which was occupied. That night we necessarily went to watch the tarantella, in a cabaret
where beer was served and people were speaking German. The air smelled
to enter our

heavily of the cheap, cloying perfume of a famous region. Chillon-like at-

mosphere.

The

financial value

we

set

on the dance brought another

fruitless

protest.

POSITANO-AMALFI
On

April 3d

we

Sorrento early in the morning and walked for seven hours

left

along the road to Amalfi.


in Positano; the

owner

don't want to describe the countryside.

of the Hotel de

offered us a collazione for

two

lire,

Roma

wouldn't

including wine.

It

let us

was a

We paused

keep going and

real bargain.

The

room was flooded by light from all sides. Through a gauze curtain
stirred by a soft breeze the midday sea was visible. A majestic sight. Later some
Germans joined us at our table, but they were refined people who didn't force
dining

their conversation

on

us.

After a thorough rest

we

left this radiantly cool

we drank our afternoon


Amalfi was closer than we thought.

refuge and hit the road again. Before reaching Amalfi


coffee

Wc

on

a picturesque terrace. Actually

soon realized

it

when we saw

the

riff-raff

gradually

fill

up the road, with

102 / Diary II
the aim of cheating tourists. Escorted by a

mob

we walked

of urchins,

through the tunnel into the old sea town, the fallen

rival of

Genoa, whose

we documented at every step (among other things, a large bone came


from some hidden corner) All the hotels seemed full, the man in
the Hotel d'ltalie showed us a room at three lire per bed. His face had a touch
of shrewdness about it as he insisted that no other room was available in all
of Amalfi. We promised to come back if this were true. And we really did
come back after a half hour. The look of triumph on the shrewd features of
decline

flying at us

the innkeeper! After that, however, the

down on

the activity below convinced

man became

quite friendly.

Duomo. The

a terrace with a fine view, directly facing the

me

for the first

time that

was

We

sat

sight of

in the far South.

natural dramatic performance of an incredible sort was visible from the

balcony of the hotel.

The food was

very plentiful, but the

Germans who

sat at

the table next to us were not exactly of the best. Disgusting attempts to be

by German painters from Capri, who are

so despised. They were


we had neither been over there, nor showed any eagerness to
go. As we paid the bill we thanked the innkeeper; there was much good nature
in his face after all. We hired a little guide because we had special plans for

friendly

scandalized that

April 4th.

Caspar
to

make

little

somewhat more

is

gifted at languages than

am; he even manages


I

said,

we

hired a

guide to lead us to Gragnano, at least to the top of the pass; one of those

bedraggled urchins with Moorish eyes.

went

himself understood in this country of thieves. As

off

smoothly.

When

The

ascent through a valley with mills

the condition of the paths began to be a problem

little fellow grew scared and only went on with us against his will. About a
hundred yards higher up he vehemently refused to guide us any farther, and

the

when we
and

tried to persuade

tears.

ritenuto

went on

We

made

paid him
its

him

he went

off into a little

fit

of rage

andante into his hand; when a

appearance he burst out in tears again, and so the money

trickling adagio until

exploited us, yet

to continue,

soldi trickled

we were

just

he was wholly comforted.

He

hadn't really

beginning to need his help from

this

point

lonely

when

on.
It

had become high and

a vast sea

is

lonely.

A mountain

below. Soon no path at

waterfall invited us in

all

top

is

much more

could be seen, but the rumble of a

one direction. Feeling very hot, we rested

at

its

foot.

As

May

103 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

saw Caspar

relaxing, as fresh

nal to

you when you are to follow."

Once

the top of the waterfall.

and

choice,
alized

and youthful

came over me. "Stay

ing of responsibility

how

girl,

some

bank seemed

there, the other

and muddy these stones were,

slipper}'

down. In

painlessly. After

my

fright

all

my

closed

my

eyes,

might

camp

lay.

"Where

logical

answer

in the

in the natural di-

wound up

right

on

world did you come

you can

as

see,"

now we had to push


made us feel bold, and

could make. But

could climb myself dry again. This adventure

we were guided by

I re-

of myself

but everything went well

from?" asked the astonished Caspar. "Out of the waterfall,

was the most accurate

sig-

a wiser

When

became unsure

two or three momentary landings,

top of the slab of rock where our

me

to

crossed the water by hopping from stone to stone.

rection, to wit,

on, so

sort of feel-

look for the path and

I'll

climbed up the rock above his head to

and of course immediately slipped away with

and

young

as a

here,

1902)

the feeling, climbing in the most splendid sunshine, letting

our route be dictated entirely by the formation of the rocky mountainside.

Soon we struck

a path

on which we met marvelous individuals and groups of

people; once a group of


us.

We had

women

already spied

their descent while

carrying pitchers

them

we were

at the

resting.

on

their heads

came toward

summit, and enjoyed the spectacle of

Caspar took pictures with

his

Kodak.

We

soon reached the sublime solitude of the heights; the panorama unfolded to
the north, so that the
the

same time, an

that sloped

Bay

of Salerno

and the Bay of Naples could be seen

eternally unforgettable impression.

down toward
we reached

the high pass,

the north, and leaving behind the bare solitude of


a sparsely

wooded

region where the loveliest anem-

ones grew. Right after, a painless descent began into a sunny valley
spring flowers.

We

attention to paths,

396.

The weather

we climbed

is

Hamburg, he

moment when

full

avoided the road to Pimonte, and without paying

Gragnano, where we caught the

Just like

at

We now followed a dale

less clear.

says.

directly

train

down

to

of

much

the railroad station of

back to Naples.

Caspar complains about

sense the

it

in

Santa Lucia.

moment when enthusiasm

wanes, the

At such times you must either think of


stay of another, more permanent sort.

a certain fatigue sets in.

leaving or remain quiet, ready for a

Caspar's presence was profitable in every

way

an

intelligent, aristocratic-

Jewish mind, reliable judgment, insight into people (Schmoll).

cannot

recall

104 / Diary II

museum. Departure

a single difficulty. Final visit to the

Rome at seven in the


four hours without my heavy

at eleven at night

April 6th, arrival in

morning. In 1914

distance in

felt

Rome

397.

(4.7.) at first struck

me

dust and the sky heavily overcast.


clothes after the night trip.

dusted a good

many

Then

as

God)

waste and desolate.

trifling differences

to Haller's;

on

covered the same

The

air

was

full of

drove home, washed, and changed

went

hat (thank

my

believe the separation

from our friendship, and we were

delighted to see each other, like old comrades;

we know each

other so well

and both speak the same Bernese German.

On the following day the weather was


A letter from my fiancee did the rest.
The

Italian spring

powerful because

it

is

After

all, I

more opulent, but the German

follows a real winter.

People often ask about the beautiful


idler.

wonderful, and

More

Rome

again.

spring seems

more

liked

contrast.

Roman girls, but no question could be


And it is probably more difficult

don't want to marry one.

woman. In the last


months I have literally not touched a woman. This was not purely deliberate, and it would not have been easy anyway. I am not speaking about
prostitution, I never did have anything to do with that and never will. I probably wouldn't have fought off successfully a little affair that involved no great
here than anywhere else to start something frivolous with a
five

excitement and danger:


I

saw

Iris again,

am

also eat

and

drink.

still

excellent. This time

only

La

Borgatti didn't sing. As a result,

An

human,

the second act and the prelude are


Carelli

made an even

greater impression.

Italian Ternina.

Concert by the Kaim Orchestra

at the Costanzi.

Weingartner conducting.

Mozart's Jupiter, Schubert's Intermezzo from Rosamunde, Liszt's Tasso

lamento e

4.10.

trionfo, Beethoven's

Seventh Symphony in A.

Three of us (Haller and Schmoll) made an excursion to

waterfalls have

been reproduced

the afternoon

we

visited

in pictures

Tivoli.

The

and described often enough. In

the Villa d'Este and toward evening the Villa

Hadriana, an absolutely heavenly corner of the earth. In the evening there

were subdued and serious color

would never believe possible

effects of a

in Italy,

somberness and subtlety that one

which

is

unjustly regarded as a garish

May

105 / Italian Diary {October 1901 to

There

land.
I

is

moral strength

too shall be able to create

Rome

Leaving

On

the

way

like this

to the Villa

it

in

such color.

some

see

just as

it

much

as others do,

When?

day.

not without

is

1902)

its

emotion.

A hackney

Hadriana we had an amusing experience.

we were walking along. The occupant, a lean, professorial


German with a gray goatee, was so enamored of his honeymoon partner next
to him, that he must have imagined himself alone in the world with her and
caught up with us

as

the horse and the driver's back. Right behind us he launched a barrage of faunlike kisses at

up on both

The

run the gauntlet.

is

as

how

am

Rome, with
to

its

as

am;

it

rehashed, analyzed, mimicked. "Oh,

fifty

and

shrouds

all

my

And when

things.

the

But

money

shall

arrives

meet Jean de Castella

A great

and mauled

his pretty sister!

overfed

The

...

itself in

dark

and weeps

veils

be able to leave only when

must be ready

to leave.

Old

know where

to eat.

expect

some weeks he has been visiting Florentine


big child. How he mimicked the frightful ape

there; for

pawnshops.

How

it

sixty.

eyes full of rain.

have already rented a room in Florence and

Florence.

pair

time, until

have a great deal to do and to think about, especially

going to pack

have the money.

some

for quite

Haller couldn't get over

way between

melancholy

with me. Anyway,

We

morsel of flesh."

to be caught this

Rome

4.13.

amused

incident kept us

his

and had the frightened

sides of the road

the carriage was nearly out of sight.

he was pleased with

would hate

We made a stand, yelled like a bunch

the thin, rather faded lady.

of Hurons, lined

rascal

and

am and

after-dinner

and how hungry

insatiable,

nap

in Bern.

Then perhaps

for the novelties of

the dreadful awakening,

the reversal of direction: instead of penetrating into myself, a going out of


myself!

have already dreamed about

Yesterday (4.12.)
Galleria d'Arte

saw the

it,

Roman

among them,

a genre

unknown

clearly.

Salon, the annual exhibition in the

Moderna. The only good

and lithographs by the French. Above


caricatures!

and

displays are the drawings, etchings,

Rodin's caricatures of nudes!

all,

before him.

a stupendously gifted

The

man. Contours

greatest
are

have seen were

drawn with

few

of the pencil, a brush filled with watcrcolor contributes the flesh tone,

another dipped in a greenish color,

say,

may

indicate clothing.

That

is all,

lines

and
and

106 / Diary II

its

effect

simply monumental. Someone else exhibits caricatures of the

is

among them Sarah Bernhardt as Hamlet, and a


is also Forain, who with a few hard lines
the last detail. The others differ from this little

theater and the music hall,

motionless chanteuse. There

stiffly

characterizes his subject to

band by

These people

trying to outdo themselves.

the charming Parisians are, with their borrowed Latin


their
is

temper and

Rome and
France

400.

no

4.15. Everything
I

the Vatican. As

Who

could be repelled by

this, it

am

is

my

it

that Zola wants, the Republican!

rise.

had seen the works of the ancients

hours to viewing the Borgia apartments in

last

inclined to count Michelangelo

among

the moderns,

most beautiful thing


Farnesina, which I had

legitimately claim that these appartementi are the

comes

earlier,

prevails there.
tion,

wit!

packed. After

is

devoted

produced by the Renaissance


seen

What

but no longer on the

time and again,

may

whores and their

how honest
inspiration, who keep
contrast,

lag-end of ancient culture. Paris, the image of imperial

less in decline.

clever,

is

their

The

so seductive!

Germans

struggle, the

and nobody can make any sense of them. By

especially,

far

in

Rome. The

Villa

behind them; a certain emptiness,

But here everything

wholly infused with the same masculine energy.

occasional

visit,

(to

Not

just a place for

but to spend a lifetime. Pinturicchio, a great

After imbuing myself completely with this world,

Museum

be thorough).

It

as in a fortress,

to the smallest detail shows lively elabora-

was a mistake. The

an

artist.

visited the

Egyptian

works remained grotesque

stage props.

Then

paid a farewell

sculpture and

now

believe

my friends among the ancient works of


leave Rome with a clear conscience. My train

visit to
I

can

leaves for Florence at 11:10 p.m.

Short get-together with

my

friends. It

is

true,

nice at leave-taking. Schmoll has a wonderful

our walking

companied
padrona,

we took

trip

me

way

won me

of wishing

you luck. Since

over completely. Haller ac-

home he witnessed my farewell to the


moved and spoke profoundly beautiful words. Then

to the railroad station; at

who was

deeply

a cab to the station.

When dawn
The

near Naples Caspar had

people are always especially

came

was already in Tuscany. Waters gushed and flowed.

land was bright with blossoms, a joyful garden of fruitfulness.

107 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

An

me

elegant carriage pulled by a great, fat horse drove

fabulous theater of the lovely

new town.

1902)

through the

In the Via dei Benci 14/2, the vet-

turino obligingly rang the doorbell for me, breaking the

Frau Haag,

May

morning slumber

of

Florentine from Aargau; she was the precise

a more-than-lifesize

opposite of that tiny lady from Berlin in Naples. Soon a bowl of coffee was

steaming

in the best

room, and

home.

felt at

FLORENCE (APRIL

Address: Via dei Benci 14/2, care of Frau Haag. After weathering the

401.

night journey without any difficulties,


carriage at 6:15 in the morning.

amazed by the presence


drove

me

Duomo,

of so

much

to look for a restaurant,

very clean

and not

me

had frightened

arrived at

and

found

the entrance

is

like

is

just the

only years

it

way

later, in

prefer

it:

bearings; I'm

At noon hunger
near the

a pleasant place

The heavy

traffic at

the Napoleone

by way of the kitchen, where a

gray-haired cook in fantastic slippers officiates.

restaurant

quarters in a fine

my

architectural beauty.

at all expensive.

little,

my new

spent the day getting

And

slightly dry

Tunis. After lunch

the Chianti in the

and tangy.

little

drank another

caught up on the sleep

had

missed on the previous night and slept incomparably deeply and soundly. Reborn,

made

fees lured

me

second tour, along the Arno. After dinner the cheap entrance

into the Teatro Verdi (previously Pagliano),

was being produced, unfortunately on a rather modest


shaped

like a

long box, as big as

it is

dirty

(more

like a

where La Traviata

scale.

the work, a wealth of ravishing inventions, stirring melodies.


of the last act.

wasn't bad.

The woman who sang

A good baritone

Violetta,

The

Volksoper)

theater
.

is

admire

The atmosphere

someone named Milanesi,

served as protection against

some fatuous oaf

of a

The ensembles and the staging pitifully poor. The orchestra large but
The musicians were not even dressed in black. This fitted their proletar-

tenor.

bad.

ian talents.

Coming up from
Italian city. It

is

the South, one does not get the impression of a truly

rather an international place, small but delightful.

people are international


prostitution.

On

is

to enjoy

more noticeable than elsewhere, and

my

last Italian

meals!

That the

likewise the

108 / Diary II

Thursday, 4.17.

402.

the Uffizi, a

tribuna with

all its

my

bought

museum you

can get

masterpieces

After two and a half hours

I left,

and spent most of

pass

The

lost in.
is

quality

my

time visiting

The

really unique.

is

the finest spiritual treasure imaginable.

deeply moved, feeling very small and shaking

my head.
But

was not to savor these mixed emotions to the end, for who should

appear at the
like a

gallery's exit?

wedge from

He had

Our

my Munich

delightful

remained faithful to himself,

various other ways.


hat, the

He

had grown

still

He

made

was

of me.

and had changed

a beard

jacket.

New

in

English pants (knickers, of course),

shoes, remarkable for their solidity

weighty gold ring

Castella.

looked even more unkempt, the same peculiar pointed

same overcoat and

new yellow

Bohemian Jean de

period driven into what Italy had

at the

Another innovation came

pawnshop

in

and clumsiness. The

Munich. "But

big,

have the chain!"

which tormented him horribly

to light later: a rash,

at times.

"Where

you going to eat?" "Oh,

are

There are only

Socialists at the table,

milieu, including Jean, but personally


sides,

in a hole,

it's

vulgar but interesting!

but they love me."


I

much

did not

he warned me: "If you come with your beard, they

gentleman and won't have you. But with me,


songs, beautiful but loud, everyone as loud as

it's fine.

could picture the

feel attracted

Do

will say

by

it.

Be-

you are

you know, they sing

he can." By chance we passed by

"Oh no! What do you mean? This one


isn't nearly Crude enough. Mine is much worse."
After some resistance I persuaded him to eat with me in my establishment,

some such

dive. "Is

and he ended by

it

like this

one?"

and visibly enjoyed the smell


But about the wine he said, "It's just as good there."
now had a companion. In the afternoon we visited a few churches;
feeling very comfortable there

of clean tablecloths.

And

so

unfortunately the light was poor. After dinner

and past the

we

strolled

by wonderful bustling

cafes surrounded

through the

activity.

streets

Enchanting

Florence!

403.

Of

4.18. In the Galleria Antica e

course

it

surprised

me

at

point of view of quality as well.

Moderna,

to see Botticelli's "Primavera."

had imagined it wrongly, from the


Colorlessness partly due to wear. This is what

first,

because

contributes the historic element to a picture

and becomes part of

it.

It

is

quite

May

109 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

Lenbach.

If

one wouldn't

as

it

was

pictures with worn-out colors, like

one loves the patina brought by the centuries, who knows whether
reject the pictures in their original state.

Venus" suddenly appear


it

new

matter to try to produce

a different

1902)

in actuality,

once saw the "Birth of

morgana.

in the distance like a fata

then tried to see

but without the slightest success. Her colors are rarely

spiritual.

Then
riches

wandered over to the

first

singled

small portrait of a
bit of painting)

woman by

On

Botticelli (the simplest

the whole,

sensual than spiritual. Botticelli

didn't feel

is

drawn

much

is

though he

very appealing master otherwise.

Venetian woman,

also very

a spirituality

how

he

to lose

is

superior to Titian in this respect, even

But

to represent a beautiful

And

is

less

and control himself


fire

at the

necessary

that Titian possesses as almost

same

time.

Some

lines

no one

man knows

the golden twilight of a southern evening. But this

and shoulders have the

around the chest

that comes from this kind of strength.

In his small work Botticelli has

known how

to reduce his color pattern to

such a limited set of contrasts that a kind of colorlessness ensues, which

by

offset

a sensual tonality,

but which

itself

The

After
Uffizi.

pose in profile harmonizes with

had looked through

In about ten minutes

it

it,

it

is

remarkably

no

aggressive-

well.

followed the connecting gallery to the

leads you over houses, roofs, across the

(Ponte Vecchio), sometimes affording a view. Having reached the end,

down

in front of the tribuna,

by Raphael,
ing.

his

and looking

at a surprising portrait of a

meditated intensely on the personality of

also considerably

improved

my

this

much and

yet

is

me

without

a jarring note, in

always in the right place.

In the evening

we went

formance, together with Loie Fuller.

sat

woman

Proteus of paint-

It

harmony.

He

legs.

doesn't think

was good to have found him.

to the small, noble "Teatro Pergola"

Japanese actress Sada Yaco and her

Arno

opinion of Lucas Cranach by looking at

"Eve," particularly by observing the creative treatment of the

Jean accompanies

not

functions as an expression of

chaste love. This type of feminine beauty, moreover, really has


ness.

more

it is

than Mantegna.

obtained by the play of colors

than a voluptuous tonal twilight.


else does;

its

and most consummate

to Titian's color;

a better colorist, better also

Paolo Veronese
isn't a

From

Pitti Palace, a very large gallery.

out Titian's famous portrait of "La Bella" and a

company were putting on

where the

a guest-per-

no

/ Diary II

Sada Yaco doesn't stand out from her troupe


style of the

company

whole that makes

as a

of primitive consciousness pervades the

performing them.

art of

is

performance.

The

way she

her dress.

sounds that lend rhythm and

grotesque humor!

chatters.

The way

chantment.

Nothing

The

And

the acrobatic

plasticity to the

Sada Yaco her-

skill!

is

left to

a dagger-blow,

Not

chance!

the least

is

as lovely

little

fold in

she weeps indicates the high quality of her taste (what un-

A sprite or a woman?

based directly on

she goes to bed, sheer enall style

here

is

For instance, the death of one of the characters from

reality.

and how,

The way

In any case, a real sprite. For

at the very end,

he shakes

his legs in a final spasm!

Fuller, purely technical, purely decorative.

Meanwhile

404.

4.21.

chio;

they are

named

met two young

Briistlein,

went, ate

many

ladies

from Bern

Gilonne and Eliane,

Obstbergweg. Intelligent and congenial


I

movements and remain

fighting are the essential features.

appetizing tears I've seen on our stages!).

La

A kind

whole thing, both the plays and the

has the dimensions of a Tanagra figurine. Everything about her

as the

the

it is

accompanied by barbaric music. During the fighting heaving chests

emit "kh!kh!" and "th!th!"

self

like a diva; instead,

phenomenal impression.

poses develop in abrupt

moments. Dancing and

fixed for long

dancing

The

girls.

They

invited

cakes and drank tea by the quarts.

visited the city park (Cascine)

where there

is

a lot of

at the

Ponte Vec-

my neighbors on
me for tea.

Toward evening we

promenading back and

forth.

The

first

naturally
ful to

must

my

feminine society after a long period of social

had

a pleasantly stimulating effect

friend Jean.

say that

To

describe

my

on

life

exclusively

me and I became

male

a bit unfaith-

relationship with the girls accurately,

found both equally sympathetic.

With the young ladies in Fiesole. We had a light meal up


and watched an impressive funeral procession of a priest or monk. On
our way back the moon was shining. Heavy scent of wistaria and lilac, which
Tuesday, 4.22.

there

hung here in the thickest profusion. And the song


Only an envious dog was still down to earth.
4.23.

At the archaeological

collection.

of

my

first

nightingales.

Marvelous Egyptian, Etruscan, and

tapestry sections. Every day Jean paints a picture of the Ponte Vecchio.

has a

boatman deposit him on

a small grassy island

on the Arno and

sits

He

there

in

May

/ Italian Diary {October 1901 to

1902)

him up again a few hours


manage it with his Italian? The street urchins have discovered him and bombard the helpless pittore with merde. Jean consoles himself by thinking about the money he hopes to make.
captive, with his pointed hat, until his pilot picks

later.

How

did he

4.23. In spite of

405.

poor performances,

style, it

manages

to

appears,

it

returned to the Teatro Verdi to

be moving. But sometimes

tween the operatic and the instrumental


grateful effect.

Whenever

get acquainted with Donizetti's Lucia.

But

in such

it

the music

when

style,

it

is

has a challenging, un-

an old work, wherever something inexplicable

must have been undertaken

arbitrarily,

without

young fellow from Aarau who goes by the beautiful name

all,

my

took a look at

go completely.

He emphasized

He knows

and

and

lures

Paris

lives

little

jocular drawings, in

the fact that they were

here in Montmartre

He

style.

still

justification.

Huhner-

of

He

wadel ("chicken leg") sculpts and amuses himself around here.


stupid at

popular

in the

middle ground be-

gets into a

which

all

lures

isn't

myself

let

three-dimensional.

me

into

it

a little,

poor Jean in over his head. Once when leaving our eating place, we

were surprised by a sudden April shower and

fled

across a wide square.

Hiihnerwadel ran with great expressiveness. There was something impetuous

and buck-like

him

into an

in his last turn

odd

little

which unexpectedly brought him and us

place, a cafe chantant,

going on. This rehearsal, which

was distinguished by

coffee,

we could

where

a piano rehearsal

after

was

just

take in for the price of a bad cup of

hypnotic monotony. Only a chanteuse changed

the pace and danced a cancan for us, though she wasn't dressed for the part.

4.24. Associating with

406.
after

had dealt

solely with

my young
young men

exterior life acquired a certain polish

fection of the inner

term myself, for


for
I

life.

it

man. Only

was

all still

my

ladies gave
all

me

a certain

rounding

during the winter. As a

which

is

my fiancee (I didn't use the


me to a certain pitch of feeling

A milieu like Florence could easily nourish

The morning

of the 25th at the

already taken a hasty walk through

my

not to be confused with per-

pleasant illusions.

devoted the morning of the 24th to the church of Santa Croce.


I

off,

feeling for

a secret) raised

in the afternoon to eleven at night,

result,

was with the two

Museo Nazionale
its

From

four

girls.

(Bargello), after

chambers with Jean;

had

this time, alone

112 / Diary II

and more

Donatello was the main point of attraction.

seriously.

perfection of his Saint John the Baptist.


it

was the Gothic that

stirred

me

much more

so

The

stylistic

did not yet realize very clearly that

intensely than the Ancient

A personality like Michelangelo should have baroquized the


Gothic that was what underlay my yes-and-no attitude toward Michelangelo.

and the Baroque.

His importance as a transformer of


such a transformer of the Gothic

was completely

styles

lacking. Otherwise

is

clear to

me. Actually

Rodin would not be

driven in that direction (Klee 1915).

The

ravishing Carrand collection;

was particularly fascinated by the cup-

board with the ivory carvings. The incredible amount of

art lavished

on

comb! The spaciousness of the building! The courtyard! The women who
around, painting. In the afternoon,

made an

excursion with the young ladies

from the Porta Romana to the Certosa. This area

is

a part of paradise.

did the priest with the noble white beard shake his

"Aquei
boring

socialisti!" Socialists here, in this spring season?

village.

At

night,

wandered

Spent the morning

4.26.

in the

in

high

a
sit

spirits

fist

Why

against that hill?

Dinner

in the neigh-

back home.

Cappella Medici; but here too

didn't

man-

age to get into any warmer contact with Michelangelo. Respect, highest
respect!

Yet there

is

nothing colder than

this princely crypt. Intentionally?

Hardly.

The
407.

afternoon in the medieval

The

fresco

Museo

S.

Marco.

by Perugino on Via Colonna, beautiful, harmonious im-

pression. Natural, uncontrived

monumentality.

Then the Convent dello Scaleo. Andrea del Sarto's "Baptism" is more in
the manner of the old masters than his murals. The execution in yellow is
very instructive.

Sunday,

4.27.,

it

Cathedral-Museum

rained hard. In the morning, went to the wonderful

Maria del Fiore. Organ railings, Donatello after a


"Magdalen" by Giovanni della Robbia is still more magnificent (also more Gothic). But I simply don't like the technique used by
these worthies. Photographs ennoble their works. How the figure and the

Delia Robbia.

S.

rocky landscape blend, a masterpiece.

On

the 28th, tea with the young ladies, drank

the usual walk back to the Cascine,

all

the

way

it

by the quart. Afterward,

to the end, where two rivers

May

ii3 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

at night there

On

Landscape very peculiar (somber mood).

cleverly meet.

were glow-worms in the

air;

1902)

the way back

on the 29th, the three of us again,

along the opposite bank.

We went home

before evening, because

had made an appointment with

Jean and Wadel.

We loafed through

town;

Bohemians and entered


us

up the

Bold curiosity drove

perplexing solemnity prevailed here. There was

The padrona was

the wall.

completely yielded to the leadership of the two

stairway, past a couple of polyglot streetwalkers to the

the salon.
tion.

a real bordello for the first time.

Only

knitting.

The

open door of

little

conversa-

damsels, perfectly decent, standing along

their dress revealed that

we hadn't entered the wrong house.


we turned around. Now

After our eyes had quickly taken in these impressions,

came to life, the German-speaking one said to us: "What's


Ashamed? Why are you leaving?" These words put me
to flight and the others followed. Outside we laughed heartily. It really had
been comical. All three of us had had some experience with girls, and now, up
there, they had taken us for greenhorns. For a moment it seemed to us that
there also was muted laughter upstairs (the tip to the cabman who had guided
the streetwalkers

the matter with you?

us

went

We

for nothing, a

dead

loss.

much

consoled ourselves with wine, too

demimondain

cafe

on the Piazza

wishing for was sitting at our table.

Signoria.

wine, and ended up in the

Soon the company we had been

A pleasant,

dark creature and a real whore,

painted and prettied up and yet unattractive.

When we

couples plus a single, and the single was myself.

left,

we were two

understood Wadel,

wouldn't have been completely incapable of acting the same way. But that

how
much aware of

we

showed that he was

good soul Jean,

could he! His face, as

very

the questionable side of his project, in spite of the wine.

But one had gotten into


be carried through.

pleasures to offer, the

walked slowly home.


was

brilliant, as it

4.30. In the

this

And

left, clearly

debauch and the joke was

after

all,

who knows which

so

young wanton or the old sow? Deep

The

following day proved

me

right.

much

it

had

to

two had more


in thought,

felt well.

The

sky

has to be in Florence.

morning, returned once again to the

Uffizi.

the Germans. Diirer well represented; Holbein, less well.

shows so

good that

of the

the better for

it:

besides

"Adam and

This time looked

at

But Lucas Cranach


Eve,"

particularly

ii4 / Diary II

noted

Luther and Melanchthon, particularly

a miniature diptych portraying

Melanchthon.
Since I've been seeing Jean,

409.

He dotes on Toni
Toni." And yet she stole

have again been thinking a good deal

about Munich.

Reitmayer. "Oh,

one

the

like

heavy gold
I

I'll

money he had

never again have any-

sent her to redeem the

ring.

remember Moreau from Lausanne, who was

like a rooster,

and always

cheerful in spite of the perpetual fog, until one day he suddenly lost his
"I

want

have
I

to stay at

the lamp, and

lit

remember

a villa,

home now.

and

the table.

it

have

dirty little

spirits.

have closed the windows and the curtains,

said:

This

Karfunkle from

the sun."

is

New

York: "Ya know,

vant to hev

should be fixed up swell, ya know, with lotsa food and wine on

And

know,

after eatin', ya

maid and

I'd

go in the kitchen and then

I'd take the

ya know!"

met Max Schmidt, from Lorrach


monkey face has become even more melancholy. The gay South makes a stronger contrast than
In connection with these recollections,

near Basel, today. His collar couldn't be any higher. His

the moors around Munich.

He

Egyptian museum?"

very beautiful.

find

it

said in

tired
I

tones:

"Do you know

went then

How different it is in contrast! Only the customary


What will such a milk-belly do in this wine-country.

Perugino.
missing.

the

to see the fresco

two

tears

by

were

Disgustingly sour breath of this tearful super-suckling! In the Via dei Servi,
to boot.

And

On May
and the

all

that

1st the

Uffizi's

money!

money

for the trip arrived.

I still

visited the Boboli

Gardens

graphic collection: Mantegna, Diirer, Rembrandt, and others

superb! The stained

glass

windows

me in Florence.
On May 2d, at 9:10 p.m.,

Maria Novella were the

in Sta.

last

thing

to delight

took the train to Bern, via Milan and Lucerne.

Jean de Castella and Hiihnerwadel from Lenzburg brought


I

Grand Hotel

in

Rome with

of that establishment's cuisine.


able.

From

me

to the station.

met the waiter Lips, who had left the


few pullets. Thus I also got to have a slight taste

slept very soundly until Milan.

Here

And

their

Marsala wine

Fluelen to Lucerne by steamer.

The

is

thoroughly palat-

tender green of the beeches

ii5 / Italian Diary (October 1901 to

produces a

new

world.

O chaste, German spring,

only the pure, strong scent of

At home

ravishing cats,

life!

found even-thing

The

May

1902)

so utterly devoid of perfume,

only real and true spring!

in order, a

good bed, meals without

Miezchen and Nuggi, gray on

gray.

tips,

two

Diary

III

JUNE 1902
411/412.

6.3.1902.

my

view of

My

know why, but

don't

now

Italian trip

lies a

month behind me.

is,

strict re-

continue nonetheless to be hopeful.

my

Perhaps from the realization that at the root of


there

situation as a creative artist doesn't yield very encouraging results;

after

all,

some

spiritual

devastating self-criticism

development.

main thing now is not to paint precociously but to be or, at


become an individual. The art of mastering life is the prerequisite for

Actually, the
least, to
all

further forms of expression, whether they are paintings, sculptures, trag-

edies, or

shape

it

musical compositions.

meaningfully within

as possible.

grows

like

Obviously

this isn't

Nature. Besides,

Weltanschauung

will

come

Not

me and

only to master

accomplished with

wouldn't

know how

As

and

ordained by

is

me

is

it

few general precepts but

to find

any such precepts.

which

partly settled in the maternal

fate.

a beginner in this profession

will ask things of

but to

practice,

of itself; the will alone doesn't determine

direction will yield the clearest path: this

womb

life in

mature an attitude before

to achieve as

shall

that any clever

not be able to please people; they

young person with

talent

might

easily

come up with. My consolation is that the sincerity of my intention will always


be more of a check to me than my lack of skill. Starting from an awareness of
the prevalence of law, to broaden out until the horizon of thought once again

becomes organized, and complexities, automatically

falling into order,

become

simple again.

Two

letters to Lily,

handedly during the

An

one partly written

first

in Florence

and one written

attempted portrait of Bloesch: For God's sake! Heine: 'The Florentine

Nights,"

"The Elemental

"Fille de ferme,"

Maternal

"The Rabbi

of Bacharach."

Maupassant:

"Le Vieux," "La Dott." Plato: "The Apology

of Socrates."

Spirits,"

love, a bit too close to instinct.

Mere

drive.

You have

more ethical, more social.


The "Bloesch portrait"!! Tempera (al fresco) with blue

the other love, which

it

off-

days in Bern (chiefly devoted to answering her).

before

it's

to

work

at

is

cravat,

away with

completely born!

Advancing along

a spiritual path: with every step,

more

solitary.

Divergence
119

120 / Diary

from

my

ritable.

HI
The

father.

latter

Without measure,

"younger" than

Fantastically talented but

I.

Not

Fearfully sober things, these: the canvas, the painting surface, the base.

much more

Over

exciting: the tracing of lines, the treatment of forms.

the creation of space through light.

light,

time being.

The

these things

still is!

ir-

in spite of his intellect.

purely pictorial

Any

How

style.

For the time being, the notion of the

content

is

it all,

prohibited for the

away the true experience

far

art of living

more

is

of

No

fascinating.

convention such as "the profession." Thoughts about broadening the horizon:


that,

by

all

means!

am

Hilterfingen

413.

Thunersee. 6.4.1902.

Some

year and two years ago.


a

young

closer.
.

grove.

An

but

it's

small;

sit

above the

on the same spot

sea,

mer,"

la

it

said in our primer.

you can hear the

river

That

Kander rushing

body of water

large

into

it

on the other

The Stockhorn over yonder is no trifle, of course, but there are


more consequence who covered themselves up in order not to disturb
side.

is

What

change within me.

to

me.

have seen a piece of living

Humanism jumps

at

my

history.

throat;

an invention of high-school teachers to torture their students.


with

only for a

it, if

My lucky star
can think

little

not

is

clearly.

neo-classical

414.
2.

lords of
us.

This

the essential thing about these mountains.

and the Vatican spoke

is

did a

between the church and

Everything that once seemed distant to me, intimately

idyl!

"Ulysse a vu

sixty feet

not for a long time

"Ulysse a vu

la

mer" and

I,

more than

must go along

fairy, star dust.

you

yet. Rejoice, barbarian! if

Rome. Enough

of magic!

Here

Europe!

Mama:

Haller says in reference to his

What

moon

way. Farewell, elves,

rising,

The Forum

it is

energy she has!

If

only

had

it!

3.

I've got cyanide, after

She gets on

my

all.

nerves! 4. Acts

frantic in the house.

About
I

4.

his Papa:

1.

He'd be

all right,

but he

think of the energy he must have had once!

And he

kind of a

About

just got to
3.

be that way.

You know, he

2.

When

thinks she's

doesn't want to count anymore; you know, he's looking for

ill.

some

rule.
girls:

1.

don't want to see her.

2.

Don't need to carry anybody on

121 / June 1902 to September 1906

my back! (To me:) You


About
bring

his painting:

thought,

it off. 2. I

was not to be!

Mimu

3.

harm me! 3. I've got a mushroom on my chest.


You know, something on a small surface, I can't
what things would come to be on this canvas! But it

don't

1.

will never

do

it.

He'll remain silent. He'll keep

to

it

himself.

About the dust on his hat: Let it stay there!


About God: He means well with me, he doesn't hurt me! Not everything

me

about

To

good.

is

Rome: I'm

the beggars in

My

415.

know

future father-in-law wants to

provided Lily agrees.


such a

beggar myself.

can't bring

the truth.

can give

day, the seventh of June. Brack

to him,

it

would ignore

Haller would be unable to produce an intelligent answer

letter,

("Writing,

No mean
it

Gorki: Literature. Art.

off.").

needed different

fare.

Perhaps in the manner of

the Nietzsche quotations in the feuilleton of the Berner Bund.

6.8.1902.

416.

about

art.

painting.
Still

less

To

Dry

The

train

my

theoretical

thought,

wrote

down

waiting for Lily's answer.

pleasant things of

in

What will

few didactic remarks

strict

countryside provides moderate bases for

moderate there

and impressionistic

it.

she have to go through? Things are

Munich. Meddlesome

fathers hardly belong

among

letter at first surprised

me, but basically

was not unexpected. Your simple and straightforward manner deserves


in the
for

it

same

spirit. I

would have told you the truth even

if

it

a reply

you had asked

me

less loudly.

My relations with
the beginning, have

your daughter, Fraulein

now grown

from me, since the occasion has

into

Lily,

That

it

me

did not
as

happen sooner

which were very close from

what could be predicted, and

arisen, to

far

be

it

wish to hide the facts from you, for

our relationship could only stand to gain, in

strike

the

life.

"Herr Medizinalrat, Your

417.

compromise between

(for lack of

my

eyes,

from

telling you.

an appropriate occasion) did not

improper, in view of our youth, which could benefit from using

the time thus gained as a

trial

period;

my

parents too

know nothing about

it

122 / Diary III

This

yet.

is

why

they have not invited your daughter, as their son's fiancee, to

them.

visit

my parents' way, I am convinced that your daughter will also


my fiancee.
am convinced of the impossibility of any human hand being

But knowing
be welcome

Above

as

all, I

raised successfully against us.

With renewed

insistence

yourself so frankly to me,

on

my

Lily approves the above letter, the

418.

her, so that the situation

is

draft of

first

already settled in

my

mind.

firmness as well as about our being in accord, which

ousness of the situation externally.

Aunt

419.

you addressed

gratefulness for the fact that

remain your devoted Paul Klee."

which
I

submitted to

am happy

about her

not to neglect the

is

seri-

did well by being cautious. (6.10.1902.)

Luise: "They've got a lot of cupolas like that in Italy.

They think

highly of them. They're starting with that in Switzerland too (in every other
respect,

my

Someday

aunt

is

sane)

."

the historical savings

bank

will

be able to step upon the stage anew and

two

have to

fail.

Now

say:

must not be

Satire

kind of superfluous

ill

will,

but

Or

else,

higher point of view. Ridiculous man, divine God.


the bogged-down vileness of average

humanity might

clear to

men

ill

will

from

hatred against

as against the possible heights that

attain.

me.

A background

when Nature

peace. This

tries to

would be

for the soul's

no

but

To whom? To me,

less firmly)

merely a

human

to her

Frightened,

struggle begins anew. Bitterness has returned.

them.

Now

moods.

dangerous moments oc-

am annihilated, but at
I am my life's debtor,
(loudly and firmly), to my

devour me; at such times

fine for old people,

have given promises.

friends (silently, but

am

shall

In earlier days (even as a child), the beauty of landscapes was quite

421.

for

my own

feet.

420.

cur

Then, perhaps,

stand here on

jump up from the bank, the


not Pan in the reeds, I

am

being and want to climb a few steps, but

really

climb

123 / J une 1902 t0 September 1906


Affect the world, but not as part of a multiplicity like bacteria, but as an

down

entity,

what

here, with connections to

the cosmos, a stranger here, but strong


final goal.

As

But how

To

exercise:

to reach it??

up

set

To

goals that

up

is

this,

Bachimatt, near

422.

the peaceful

exist,

individual,

so

be anchored in

for the

man

multitude

kind of

more smoothly, more

easily.

devoured himself (one evening, in the

Thun)
you who serve no one, you

and

yourself: Play, delude yourself

Now,

To

grow, for the time being simply to grow.

do not hold

playing of etudes. Higher things will then follow

Peace doesn't

there.

suppose, will probably be the

many

substitute aims

others,
lie

be an

useless one! Create aims for


artist.

about that the choice

is

painful.

The

wanderers on the path of art damnedly resemble the vagabonds on the road.

and Poems. Gorki, The Vagabond.

Schiller's Fiesco,

good

subject,

6.18.1902.

Back

to Bern.

423.

At home, you

the invitation.

And

just for that reason Lily will

father,

most

424.

Fairies are always elderly

sarily

have happened in some

likely

he

is

my

talked with

are not

mother about Lily and about

up against anything that you don't know.

be invited.

didn't speak directly with

and rather

strict.

Otherwise

Hanslick,

425.

Of Beauty

at least as a

and

in Music, very intelligent

upon being

fairy.

and purely

theoretical.

Testament.

6.22.1902. Everything that used to be foreign to me,

procedures in

would neces-

it

fairy tale or other that the boy,

granted the usual three wishes, would have asked for the

Feuerbach,

my

already informed.

my

profession,

now

begin to resort to after

matter of experiment. Apparently

small, perfectly unpoetic

mal motif and

try to

but in a single

act,

execute

am becoming

and unenthusiastic.
it

armed with

all,

all

the rational

from

necessity,

perfectly sober

imagine a very small

for-

economically, not in several stages, of course,

At

a pencil.

least

it is

genuine

activity,

and

re-

peated small acts will yield more in the end than poetic enthusiasm without

form or arrangement.
is

am

continually occupied with the nude body, which

well adapted to this kind of work.

project on the surface; that

is,

the

124 / Diary III

become

essence of the subject must always


nature,

which

is

not adapted to this

also plays a crucial part in the process. It


it

has

become

a real activity.

execute forms as

am

is

even

this

if

The absence

impossible in

is

of foreshortening

small and tight work, but at least

starting to learn

knew nothing about

if I

visible,

relief style.

all

over again:

painting. For

begin to

have discovered a

very small, undisputed, personal possession: a particular sort of three-dimen-

on the

sional representation

And when

night comes

And

been accomplished.

flying

man!

flat surface.

can

lie

that also

down with

the consciousness that work has

means something.

force the third dimension into the

flat

plane. Disposition of

the arms, paired legs, absence of foreshortening.


I

even dream about

Projected

self.

position, but

Upon

flat,

dream

it. I

awakening,

of myself.
I

dream that

realize the truth of

attached to the linen surface.

am my

6.30.1902. Decided to adopt Lily's plan that

426.

in Pocking, not to

anything for which

my

complicated

style.

we meet

again secretly

Haller back from

feel free,

future father-in-law's negative attitude, to undertake

can assume responsibility myself.

portant for Lily than for

sees or

lie in a

be confused with Peking, on the Starnbergersee.

especially in view of

427.

become my model.

it. I

It will

be more im-

me to make sure of not being discovered.


Italy.

wants to see what

He

sees that

lies closest.

He

have made progress, but he only

assures

me

emphatically that

I'll

cer-

tainly attain outstanding mastery in nude-drawing.

To

be

sure,

want

I still

end. His knowledge

never be complete.

428.
I:

July 1902.

I:

to learn

"But

anatomy. But that

is

more

only partial, just as his recognition (of

means than an

my

merit) will

only he doesn't remain stuck with nude-drawing.

My Papa
letter

and

I.

from Doctor Stumpf, haven't you?"

I've read it."

"We ought to answer soon,

He: "Yes,
I:

If

"You've read the

He: "Yes,

is

you or mother."

intend to."

would

know what you'll

like to

He: "You may read

it."

(end)

say, if it's all right

with you?"

125 / June 1902 to September 1906

RECAPITULATION
my

After the productive years of academic study,

429.

not pictorial, perhaps rather poetic.

knew no

first

attempts were

Why

pictorial themes.

go to

the academy then? So you can answer the questions put by your uncles

and aunts:

When

yes, I

went

my

sensed

there.

academic-artistic fiasco,

Riimann convinced me

conversation with

more with that man than

in

did no harm.
In Italy

point

And

art school.

how

brings with

it

with sculpture.

brief

today,

in

modeling through tones,

served as good preparation for the Italian

art

The concern with form


it

trip.

understood the architectonic element in the plastic

was groping toward abstract

flirted

any other

(without technique), and

itself

of the impossibility of learning

arts

would say the

at

which

constructivist

element.

Now, my immediate and

at the

same time highest goal

be to bring

will

architectonic and poetic painting into a fusion, or at least to establish a har-

mony between them.


Unfortunately the poetic suffered a great change in me. Tender lyricism
turned into bitter
only

If

satire. I protest.

survive, a saucy voice cries in

the truth, the

more things seem

to

me. For the more

am

be crumbling around me,

built up,

it's

in the big, broad,

bourgeois world.

Or am
I

mistaken?

Then

ought never to have been born.

And

neither can

now!

die

Music often consoled

The thought

430.

In Italy
ignore

all this in

of

when

often will console me,

of having to live in an epigonic age

was almost helplessly under the sway of

out looking

As

me and

practice

and

this

is

the need arises.

almost unbearable.

thought.

Now

to build modestly, like a self-taught

try to

man, with-

left or right.

now, there are three things:

Greco-Roman

antiquity (physis), with

an objective attitude, worldly orientation, and architectonic center of gravity;

and

a Christianity

(psyche) with a subjective attitude, other-worldly orienta-

126 / Diary III


tion,

and musical center of

ignorant, self-taught

431.

One

gravity.

The

third

the state of the modest,

is

a tiny ego.

man, want

a childish

I,

man,

to

crown thee with

flowers,

thou pallid

face.

can read on the white walls that somewhere close there are chrysanthe-

mums.

Thy

them from

dry-

beautiful thou art in colors which are only a semblance of colors.

My

cool lips need a slight fever, perhaps a kiss will protect

ness.

How

satiate yet

And

should

shall say
shall

be

433.

hungry eyes wanted newly assembled


I

die,

two flowers of evening

figures.

shall shine softly in the twilight.

in

them

at the

hour of our parting.

The Oberpocking Plan became

a reality.

Hotel Central, owner Georg Stecher, July 27th,

two breakfasts served

The

"credo" to thine eyes with the delicate, deep rings and believe what

trip lasted

in the

Then two

marks

days in Munich.

for a suite, July 28th,

room, 2.40 marks/7.40 marks (instead of words).

from July 19th to 28th, 1902. In Munich we

Sezession exhibition, ate great

menus

at the Luitpold.

visited the

At night we went

to

see the Geisha operetta at the Gartner Theater.

Next morning, painful


in the direction of

parting.

at 12:40 p.m. to Lindau, Lily 12:55

Chiemsee (instead

of words)

For there are no words.

435.

My mood

brought the Swiss

much

rain

on

their national holiday.

But

my mood was not uniform; in me, there was also a great, great deal of sun.
Around me only darkness. Among other things, Frankel, whom Bloesch
took me to see. The night after he received his doctorate, he coughed blood.
Beautiful eyes. Trouble with his hearing.

Later Yvette Guilbert at the Apollo Theater, in Bern. There,


again,

on July 29th.

436.

Silly

ways of speaking: Having the

will

To say the Gods begrudge it to one.


To deny lady Venus honestly and sensibly.

but not the power,

all

was well

127 /

To believe
Silly

September 1906

alive.

is still

Abbe Mouret. Gorki, Friends of Youth.


Kodak

Studies of nature with the

439.

paint tentatively in

oil.

But

are the latest thing. Sometimes,

much at the beginning or before


One of the lessons learned from

of speaking.

ences in painting

is:

Spread no new chalk base over

Now

Haller on wine:

441.

that of the other.

The

if

the beginning!

No

silly

these technical experi-

oil paint.

go fetch him! Ah,

let's

my friend, come to me! Ah,


On swearing: I now swear

do not get beyond technical experiments.

Certainly I'm very

way

t0

ways of speaking.

Zola,

now

that Christ

W 02

l une

how

like

him! Come,

didn't have you!

by the one below. His ear

other's too high up.

But he

sees us,

more open than

is

he

sees everything,

the dog!
Haller went a-hikin' (up the Stockhorn)

La

442.

Bourgeoise: "I must please.

but they could be

My
sees

To

sometimes

fall in love.

And

One must

feet are small

my

in

for wrinkles after all?

But

enough,

shoes,

no one

The

worst

is

the neck, that's where


sleeves,

beautiful, youthful

often have

my

My

am

What
To

I,

is

for instance,
a

man

with

many

things straight.

The arms have suffered least.


I move my arms. My

are visitors,
visible.

do

care about the resemblance,

look young

is

to be young. Actually,

young.

me a child, that is, it came by itself, as children will.


me and is quite gifted. It is good in geography and has many

husband gave

It takes after.

it starts.

elbow then becomes


picture taken.

it.

best

in the street.

and when there

provided the picture looks young?

no longer

me

The

Perhaps there are remedies

older.

a young-looking hat sets

Even today, men sometimes follow


wear half-way

take advantage of

yet one marries only once.

money and a future, with both.


With time, unfortunately, one grows

my

it.

Men

sure,

been pressed upon one another, but

toes have long

did not pay attention.

be

smaller, like W.'s. Shoes shouldn't be too narrow.

still

128 / Diary III


other talents.

become

It will certainly

a great artist.

say something that sounds critical about

want

to hear flattering things.

succeed in

life will

its life.

maternal love, and there

Gertrude

443.
a

is

potatoes.

But Betty has

her

face

is

child

is

that
I

is,

hate

take

it

it.

find

all

it

people

personally.

What

a lucky child.

does, suits

it

who
only

failed in

beautiful.

my

That

is

nothing higher than maternal love."

very big,

think this

is

due to her eating too many

a ravishing figure, her skin

positively

beyond

observe Betty. Later,

is

white as snow, and

The two

description.

dancing together merrily for a while, and

as

child.

not beautiful, she looks angular and brown, and she has

is

broad nose. Her belly

little

is

My

All

my

observe

of them have been


them from the window,

have to go out and shake hands with Betty

pass by. Gertrude stands aside.

God

is

just.

will suffer less

He

trains

Gertrude early to stand

from not getting

Betty might some day have too

man. And

if

many and run

aside; later on, then, she

one

really thinks

about

the danger of becoming

it,

in-

volved with the wrong one. Gertrude, on the other hand, remains a pure
virgin,

and the Savior

loves her.

But in heaven it might well be that the two exchange their roles.
There is understanding, up there, for broad noses and fat bellies.

Remember that,
a

444.

dear children.

Know you my laughter about you?


Be glad you do not know;
For

b)

it

would burn you

Should you spawn


My kind must die.
445.

9.1.1902.

Today

made

able to copy photographically.

left

a flat generation.

a nice experiment.

a layer of asphalt; with a needle,

447.

terribly.

And now it burns only me.


And it is all right with me

The

drew

few

covered a glass plate with

lines into

it,

which

was then

result resembles an engraving.

spent ten days in Munich, from the 20th to the 30th of September.

on the 20th (with Bloesch), saw Lily

again,

had dinner. with

her.

On

129 / June 1902 to September 1906

we went

the 21 st,

made

Baierbrunn and Konradshohe; then to the

to the Isartal:

garden and finally to

ro<=e

good impression

The Marriage

of Figaro. Facing us, sat Menzel;

in the Residenztheater.

On

On

the 23d, the Pinakothek, then to

the incognito was dropped and

my

paid

At

registered at the 1st

very beautiful spot; too bad,

evening, at the doctor's.

On

Regiment (infantry) on
on

right then. In the

Lily's.

Sezession gallery.

On

the 27th, in the

to stay

the 26th, music at

Theater (Rose Monday). Afterward, with Bloesch.

Xymphenburger
local draft

Bloesch

Park, where

took a picture of

board and an excursion to the

left.

Again, a

On the 24th,
On the 25th, a
the Marsfeld. A

on Arcostrasse.

was not allowed

Lily.

Then

a visit to the

On

(Pullach).

Isartal

448.

for painting,

In October

self didn't

Intzi

brought

me

lunch

in the Luitpold.

On

the 29th,

Then, departure.

spent some time in Oberhofen on the Thunersee:

know why. Then

sternly reproaching

the 28th,

the draft board, accompanied by Lily. Tea-

visit to

time and walk in the Hofgarten. In the evening, in Arcostrasse.

bought material

visited the

night, alone.

place in the Catholic Casino, then


calls

back to the police and to the Pinakothek. At night, alone.


Thursday,

we

the 22d

Glaspalast. In the afternoon, a visit to the police bureau.

me.

at last

am now

settled

the conductor will master

it.

is

to the

Symphony and

full of pitfalls.

Thanks

to

my-

work that was

to play first fiddle in the orchestra.

the score of Liszt's Faust

by Grieg. The Mephisto theme

down

Herr

of an overture

Neither the orchestra nor

Weingartner,

know how

it

should

go-

Otherwise, in good health. Duty


are

still

in

calls to

work. In

many

ways,

my

thoughts

Munich.

On October 16, 1902, I heard Eduard Risler play Johann Sebastian's


"Chromatic Fantasy and Fugue," small pieces by Couperin, Mozart's A
minor Sonata, Sonatas in E, op. 109, and in C minor, op. 111 by Beethoven,
449.

and, in conclusion, "Abends," "In der Nacht," "Fabel," and "Traumeswir-

ren" by Schumann.

At the first subscription concert we played Mendelssohn's Italian


Symphony, excerpts from Beethoven's ballet music for Prometheus and the

451.

130 / Diary III


overture "In

Autumn" by

Saens' Concerto No.

Grieg. Violinist Geloso, from Spain, played Saint-

3 in solo works.

I'm going to do everything that

453.

anatomy with the medical

I still

haven't done. I'm going to study

draw nudes, along with

students. I'm going to

the provincial painters, from a horrible model dragged in from the

know

behave
too.

as

if

were

much

less.

never be. But

In this case, less has

more

hills.

want

to

possibilities,

most people;

want

to let

sound

in

my

ears the criticism of a cer-

gentleman with martial beard, that decorative painter gone wild.

On November
for

still

will

don't want to have been a "student of Stuck," for that would be enough

to impress
tain

and

that they aren't examples to follow,

2,

1902, a piano recital by local

him, but too soon after

artist, all sorts

of respect

Risler.

On November 1st started the course in


On November 6th a concert by a

the dead.

anatomy.

Swiss

interspersed with sing-

trio,

peculiar festival for

ing by Philippi, an alto. This lady from Basel sings with inner conviction,

but also rather monotonously.

made by

From November

7th to 9th,

took part in

some pocket money.


An excursion to Valangin brought rest and recreation, abundant food at the
Hotel du Soleil gave strength, good wine provided consolation. The mountain
a trip

panorama

is

the orchestra to Neuchatel and earned

described in Baedeker.

Uoeuvre by

Zola.

Second subscription concert.

455.

and an overture by Rheinberger.

We

On

played Brahms' Third

Symphony

Siamese-twin grand pianos a Mozart

concerto for two pianos was performed, and other pieces.

Every morning,

456.

work from half past eight

anatomy room.

On

(what

And on Wednesday,

at the

artists!).

eleven o'clock in the

Thursday, Friday, at an evening course

Kornhaus, models pose in the nude. Here, Messrs. Born, Boss, Colombi,

Link, and others excel. All "Hodlerize"


a la

till

Saturday at eleven, Professor Strasser lectures for artists

more or

hills.

Bloesch wants to go to Paris, the dog.

less.

The models

are strictly


131 / June 1902 to September 1906

Camilla Landi, a great

457.

"Lungi dal corro ben";

mio

"II

bel fuoco";

Then

Boccaccio:
"I feel as

journeys,

if

(in

had merely rested

were not

awakened

Now I

in the

various

trifles.

return to the small picture

on

says,

and had to go somewhere

little

With

often felt

still

is

From time

a plate, technical attractions to

watercolors as long as possible, then

in Spring," that

December and

comes

probably what

to a rapid

on
and
.

shall

fix

Ah, what things

461.

time

them and

use oils

and dismal end. "Resigned

soon be myself.

Technical experiments in painting.

sensibility

can do, and most of

Now

it is still

German

sensibility.

are not the

main con-

all

The themes

cern, nonetheless:

"A Father With His Son"


"Madonna"
"Poet with Blooming Branch"

>

Ironical point of view.

Across dry fingers stretched a cloth.

A resounding salvo suddenly goes off.


The

used-up missile, fallen dead,

Right out beneath the eye is spread.


And then whereat the fingers crack

It's

to

tempt and

1902.

460.

462.

else,

one.

earned twenty francs.

on

top. This operation invariably

Man

the

of Beatrice.

parents' house, as one does

even traveled with the orchestra to Burgdorf to play the Pastoral

Symphony and
delude me.

else

The Veil

Schnitzler:

my

in

morning and looked around me,

home," she

at

of the

"The Gravedigger's Homesick-

for the colony.

German);

and came from somewhere

and Frenchmen

Decamerone

when

459.

Brahms: "The Lark's Song," "In The Solitude

Strausses

as

if I

sang on September 24th. Pedro Sechi:

"Se florindo e fedale"; Benedetto Marcello:

"In the Churchyard"; Schubert.

Forest,"
ness."

artist,

Scarlatti:

wrapped up quickly

in the rag.

To name this pastime, we now chose


The legend: Old Woman Blowing Her

Nose.

132 / Diary III

There are

463.

paniment
is

Munzinger, which

called

We

degrees.

still

is

were

Oltcn to provide violin accom-

in

by the choral

for the concert given

There too the conductor

society.

ominous. His work

is

"Autumn

fittingly called

Melancholy."

Jean de Castella suddenly writes from Paris: "Dear Klee,

464.

meaning
till

to write

too big. Otherwise, pleasant

Campagne

women,

And

you

still

Now

as

single artist in the

Yours,

465.

one

find

will

the day that one

have to wait until next

whole school. Paris

is

go to

perhaps more serious than

it

more

on photographs. But the boys

closely, that

is,

no

style

are assholes, there isn't a

wonderful only one has no time.

Two

cold days in Oberhofen. F. Th. Fischer,

The Messiah.

benefit that the thread snapped


virtuoso,

and

drunk!

The

Upon
the

Auch

Einer. Perform-

Fraulein Sommerhalder from Basel, the alto, narrated

Christ's sorrows with pious commiseration,

466.

9 rue

is

de C."

J.

ance of

much through

for the studies there follow nature

and completely

address

draw compositions, besides doing anatomy?

the Julian School in the afternoon only.

Munich,

My

etc.

wish we could correspond in some other way

can never do half of what one wants.

Do

have been

then again: "This postcard was

than writing. Here, one has experienced so

summer.

goes here: from morning

it

one doesn't get what one wants.

still

little

premiere, Atelier 31 bis."

written fourteen days ago.

how

that's

one must run around, and

night,

It's

you every day, but

rest

is

and

so

much

and she was suddenly

for her

lost.

silence.

seeing a tree:

little

birds excite envy,

they shun
thinking about trunk and roots

and have

self-satisfied

fun

all

day

with their swinging

nimbly on the newest-sprouted


singing.

(12.24.1902)

twigs,

and

own

private

Sistermanns

is

133 / J une

un

homme

family album: this

triste, in his

from feeding on the

He

fleshy flesh.

'The rock

man

to

September 1906

has carefully refrained

has only smelled

mains pure and much too cowardly to


Vignette:

W 02

it,

meanwhile he

re-

(12.28.1902).

act.

of Sisyphus rolling toward the

number

1903."

1903
469.

The

470.

my

feeling of responsibility toward

successful attempts to paint often

brew

fiancee

part objectively despairing,

much

some

is

name

the

natural son be slaughtered too,

Many

variants

nately,

my

are not.

"fantasy."

of them, are in

And no doubt

I'd give

cease.

justifies

himself by saying that

and that the

latter

was already

God

father in the presence of his son.

let his

grown man.

on the theme Father and Son. "A father with

father through his son.

of his son.

them

must never

some

of an old Swiss devil, the patron devil of abortion.

In exercising his profession he

474.

of

trouble as a friend. Love

Chriitli

471.

mood.

only have you! Father cannot find his bearings in

In her way, mother probably has faith in me. Friends,

people

and parents and un-

a kind of suicidal

his son.

father proud

father blesses his son." All this represented clearly; unfortu-

afterward destroyed

it.

Only the

titles

survived.

On January 14th and 15th I was in Basel to hear a concert by the


Meiningen Hofkapelle, led by Steinbach. The following works were played

475.

most magnificently:

Haydn theme, by Brahms.

1.

Variations on a

3.

Third Brandenburg Concerto by Bach.

4.

2.

Brahms: Fourth Symphony.

Mozart: Variations and Rondo

from the Tenth Serenade for Wind Instruments. 5. Mozart: Gavotte from
Idomeneo; Schubert: ballet music from Rosamunde; Mendelssohn: Scherzo
from

Midsummer

Night's Dream.

6.

Richard Wagner:

Prelude to

The

Meister singer.

Then, on the following day,

was dragged to the opera, where a very

HI

134 / Diary

mediocre performance of

a not very pleasing opera

by Goldmark, The Queen

of Sheba, was being given.

On January 16th, as a special concert, we played a symphony by Philipp


Emanuel Bach, Dvorak's Die Waldtaube, a symphonic poem, the Funeral
March from the Gbtterdammerung; and Berlioz' he Corsaire overture. In
476.

between, Gandolfi, a bass with a superb voice and the


a concert aria

skill

of a virtuoso, sang

by Mozart: "Ach wie bald muss ich verlassen," an

Spohr's Faust, two old Italian songs: "Begl. occhi" and "Vittoria

and

From January 23d

to 26th, journey to Neuchatel with the

chestra to perform Verdi's

Requiem. The

Camilla Landi, a tenor from

478.

Here

and

Paris,

soloists

a bass

have read a work by the poet of our

too,

from

cuore,"

from Boito's Mefistofele.

a scene

477.

aria

mio

it is

fruit of travel,

who came from Harlem.


city, a

drama: Aretinos Muse.

the friend of Italy and the wanderer through Italy

the only difference

that this

is

is

a bit painful in a drama.

more appropriate

is

times the old editor

as a feuilleton in the

slips into lasciviousness;

Bern Or-

were Frau Dalcroze-Faliero,

which

is

Such

who

speaks;

writing, the

Berner Bund. Some-

supposed to mark the

exuberant Venice of Titian. But here too the creation doesn't completely

come

off.

What

takes place

is

merely an approximation; he probably thought,

the journalist, that the material was tailor-made for him.


or wanted.

But that

in itself doesn't

make

He may

have wished

the thing Aretinian. Besides,

it's

obvious that such a post-offspring of a post-Renaissance could only have thin


blood.

479.

The

third subscription concert stood pretty

d'Albert. First

we dragged

in a large

Symphony

in

much under

the sign of

minor by Glazounov,

then came Beethoven's Piano Concerto in G, then the pianist grabbed the

baton and conducted

minuet and

a gavotte

from the opera The Improviser,

then he played Chopin and ended by directing the overture to the same opera.

Now,
to

this

and

music

also,

is

certainly not without wit;

once you know

had been prepared. The

it,

to play.

it's

At the

quite entertaining to listen

rehearsal, not even the

harp

conductor of our society brought out the following

135 /

"You composers always


Eugen was not even irritated by

remark:

blazed up

There

W 02

] une

believe the harp

is

to

September 1906

the main thing." But

His small eyes

this piece of insolence.

just

slightly.

no need

is

to waste

many words on

a concert given

by the high

bourgeois choral society, with a very mixed program.

When

480.

one

was

still

a loose rascal,

"He came down and

line:

the wind.

knew lewd

she was knocked up."

it

represented a

woman who

spilled a liquid

other picture was called "Shame." In the graying

he was

asleep, she

still

where dice
if

called

a pitcher.

dawn one saw

An-

a pair of

was making an apprehensive gesture toward

the

one found the unique form for them.

In the fourth subscription concert,

484.

One was

from

new day was appearing. Then there was a drawing


were being cast for a woman. One could dare to represent such

window where

banalities

have gone with

Now I am painstaking and virtuous.

"Disgust";

lovers

remember

still

rest

can also vaguely remember several projected pictures.

the

songs.

The

my

good old teacher played Brahms'

commendable success. In addition, a singer from


the Opera comique, a woman named Gamier, sang two arias by Mozart
(one from The Magic Flute). We played the overture to The Magic Flute
and the magnificent E-flat major symphony by Mozart. The program was
exemplar}-. Our conductor copies Arthur Nikisch and puts down the baton
from time to time. Naturally, the machine keeps on running, and the nasty

Violin Concerto with very

motto of the musicians


After

my

is

teacher had been

Herr Cousin,

who

carried out literally:

much applauded by

also plays in the first violin section

and who has dubbed himself

all

the lessons you give, you

training.

top of
little

still

and

said: "I

it,

Very

some

strict
oils,

hand

not

cannot understand how,

find the time to practice!"

Serious color studies of nudes and heads.

485.

(almost inaudibly)

Professor, patronizingly shook his

wishing to remain in the background

with

"Just don't look at him!"

the people of Bern, a certain

Only

as practice

and

determination of color values through water color.


simply for blending.

of importance to be

hoped

for here.

The

first

On

results are quite unattractive,

This month of February

is

devoted

136 / Diary III

many nudes from nature and even the portrait of a head,


Lotmar came and said spicily: "He's forced to!" when he saw me
paint. Then, when he reached for the mat to take a closer look, punishment
overtook him with a great promptitude and amidst cries of "ouch!" A thumb
tack had penetrated his finger! From Stuttgart he brought greetings from
to color.

my

painted

sister's!

Haller.

The

latter has secretly

Kalkreuth there.

must now

become

a student of

create alone;

composition under Count

from the

social point of view,

my

studies are finished.

486.

The

my

subject of

"Meeting."

Two men

pictures seems to

have

in his pockets, turns his torso

become

simpler.

sketched a

walked by each other. The one,

just

his

hands

back toward the other while striding on. That

is

all.

487.

Adele (actually, she has a different name) uttered a loud laugh when

she heard a hen cackle in a most amusing way. She then tried to imitate

much

with her beautiful voice. But her deliberate effort was

it

inferior to the

unintentional imitation of the animal's voice produced by her laughter.


In general, Adele

a very peculiar female.

is

She has, when she

tating temperamental animals, a phlegmatic disposition

is

not imi-

which one might

take for the exhaustion that follows outbursts of passion. But Adele

knows

no outbursts of passion.

O Adele, your name says everything,


Should Adele marry
pleases?

different.

and why shouldn't there be some one whose

taste she

will sanction,

no objection could be made


is

better,

one

is

then the law

Which

even though your

Adele

as

to

one might

real

her descendency.

say,

Then

it.

maiden or Adele

as

mother? But

easy; until

now

no

secrets

remembered

vividly

she has stayed away from the business of reproduction. There are
here.

Adele

488.

is

averse to

all

bungled work.

Hebbel, Maria Magdalena. While reading

the impressive performance in

it,

Leonhard, Liitzenkirchen as Wolfram, Schneider

Conrad-Ramlo

as the

Mother.

Munich with Triesch


as

as

Klara, Possart as

Master Anton, and

137 /

In addition: Gyges Ring and Kleist's Prince of

by Riehl: "Comedians' Child," "Quartet,"

At the

subscription concert

fifth

W 02

l une

September 1906

t0

Homburg; and

short stories

etc.

we played

Faust Symphony, an

Liszt's

intermezzo from the ballet music for Prometheus, by Beethoven, and a


"Simplicius" overture by a Swiss composer, Huber. Busoni played C.

Weber's Konzertstiick,

Liszt's

Harmonies d'un

M. von

two choral preludes by

soir,

Bach, the great Polonaise by Chopin and, as an encore, a Paganini-Liszt


piece.

subjective but very great artist! Recently,

we had heard

Polonaise performed by D'Albert, whose rendition, compared to


utterly pale in retrospect. Busoni's phrasing
a full orchestra of
fingers.

ognomy

sixty

a chapter in itself.

is

seemed

We

are

musicians and aren't equal to these ten

One

489.

more than

the same

this,

of Bloesch's inspirations

in the

Palmarium.

Bloesch ought to have

known

he

dragged

me

had never heard one

to a lecture

on

physi-

of these lectures,

but

would be no good. The speaker was

that this

an ignoramus, protected for some reason by the religious folk in town, and
had been well recommended to the daily paper. The paper commissioned
Bloesch, that bottomless pit of learning, to write the report.

had

like to

was

I,

of

all

people,

to take the second seat reserved for the press, because Bloesch doesn't

be alone.

common

virtue(!). Later

melancholy.

The

lecturer

in this field,

He

began by remarking that

a great deal of fraud

but that he preserved himself through study and

on he ventured

to

contend that black hair was a sign of

claimed that, thanks to his marvelous methods, he had thrice

saved a boy from throwing himself on the railroad tracks. At this point only
politeness

and the prevailing piety kept us from taking abrupt

account in the daily was not so favorable

And yet
491.

leave.

gentlemen must have

The

desired.

the treatment was very mild.

Another big disappointment, but

Bern Men's Choir! The director an

as the

few days

ass

later Professor Thiirlings

at least a paid one.

Concert by the

with a lion's mane.

dragged

me

to the

Museum

men's club reserved for members of the highest bourgeoisie.

several trios with

him and the Romance languages

and wine were magnificent

(at Pfister's).

had

Society,
to play

scholar Gauchat.

Food

138 / Diary III

Sunday afternoons

493.

joice, as in

in

Bern are so depressing. One would

when everybody

Faust,

these poor people are so ugly for the

than

pitiable.

And

it is

bit of bodily grace remains,

shoes

God knows,

it's

are hateful rather

ugliness.

original sin even in the tender features of

children.

The

most part that they

no simple, healthy

You can detect the marks of


And this half-peasant,

like to re-

out walking after a week's work. But

is

Wherever a
way of dressing.
but their new shoes,

half-smalltown lack of

taste.

mercilessly rooted out by their

children's feet

grow quickly

the Sunday shoes especially, are designed strictly for growth.


are a testimony against any color sense.

The

The

stockings

boys' pants are designed to bulge

over the knee. All this speaks an ugly, crabbed jargon. Only the colors don't
speak, they shriek to the heavens.

And

the overloaded baby carriage, what a pitiful sight!

The pregnant

mother, pale, nasty, and tough!

Toward evening
everything,

effects of the

up. Cretinism

is

in

motion damped. The people

all

show

two converge. lan missing

the effects of alcohol begin to

growing in importance; the

they are not so bad as they look.

Somehow

ashamed because

are

at heart

the whole Sunday smiles with

embarrassment.

How

has any social feeling been

On March

494.
tra.

difficult

We

19th and 20th,

played the Faust

thing from the Meistersinger and songs by


I

and

for us!

again went to Neuchatel with the orches-

Symphony under

and the Faust overture by Richard Wagner.


Afterward

made

somewhat

tenor

better conductor

named Pinks sang some-

Lowe and

Strauss.

few others joined the Italian oboe player Palmia, who

took us to the Circolo Italiano, an establishment with a pronounced comedy

atmosphere, with Chianti, Asti, and Stracchino


ers). Delightful

(like the tulip

among

flow-

atmosphere.

495.

On

some

orchestra from Berlin under the direction of Richard Strauss.

the following day

went

to Zurich to hear a concert given

by

The

program was composed of Bruckner's D-minor Symphony, Beethoven's


Egmont Overture, and Don Juan, and Death and Transfiguration by Strauss.

139 / ]une 1902 to September 1906


In the afternoon

went

to the State

Museum, mainly

in order to see the

mural The Battle of Marignano by Hodler.


The Tonhalle is lavishly decorated. The concert ended

original

ten; at a quarter to eleven


in Bern.

On

punishment

From

was

at the station

the following day Bloesch had to


for various misdeeds.

by refusing to
496.

and
sit

at

at a quarter past

two o'clock

arrived

for his portrait (head) as

But he promptly created more mischief

sit still.

the Hefte

filr

schweizerische Volkskunde

(''Journal of Swiss

Folklore"). Tramps' signs (authentic):

Names

of devils:

Chriitli,

Federwisch, Schuw, Tiintzhart. Rogues' jargon

= Muni or Bock. To signal = pfeifen. Peasant = Ruch. Farmhouse = Kitt. Bed = Metti. Beggar = schnury. To beg = jalchen, schnuren,
halunken. To confess = brillen. Bread = Rippel, Lehm. Doctor (learned
person) = Grillenhaus. To eat = achlen, buttlen. To examine = verlinsen.
Fish = flossling, flossen. Meat = came, busem. Gallows = dolmer. Priest =
galach. God = Doff -caff er (the good man). Gold = Fuchs, blatis. Shirt =
gembsli. Chicken = steutzel. Dog = kohluff. Cat = ginggis. Child = gampis.
Mar)-, the Mother of God = mdmmi. Paternoster = stiger. Tailor = Stupfer.
Rope = tangling. Bull = bbhm. Tobacco = Nebel. Woman = Eschi. Tavernkeeper = Spitzi.
of 1735. Butter

At the
Symphony, an

497.

499.

sixth

participated

(4.5.1903)

subscription concert,

orchestral excerpt

and

in

in this

we played Beethoven's

from Prometheus, and overture

the choral concert given by the Cecilia

way got

to

know Brahms' Requiem

Pastoral

to Coriolanus.

Society

quite well.

Still,

140 / Diary III

can't share the predilection of so

particularly
it

was,

We

it

had

it

more

palatable.

A
As

one work wasn't enough for the conductor of our Society.

this

to play

first

a sluggish composition

by Carl Reineke (introduction,

and chorale): Pro Memoriam. And he squeezed himself, semi-incog-

fugue,
nito, in
self,

musical amateurs for this work.

proved downright boring from time to time, even most of the

And

time.

many

good and inspired rendition might make

between with the performance of

a serious song, orchestrated

which he had sung by an overripe soprano from Geneva. This

by him-

closes the

current musical season in Bern.

502.

spent four days resting in Oberhofen on the Thunersee (until

Friday).

Twice the weather was good, and

voted myself to reading Gorky's

bond," "The Steppe." The

And now

503.

last

snowed

soloists,

As

a result

Good
I

it

de-

Traveling Companion," "The Vaga-

was especially good.

was

worth

really

it,

performed was Cesar Franck's Redemption, and

The

twice.

was recruited by the Societe chorale de Neuchatel

fifty-second concert, but

its

"My

it

from Paris and Geneva, blended into

for

it

main work to be
was done beautifully.

good quartet. Individ-

for the

somewhat uneven. "La lyre et la harpe," a much weaker comcame first. The entire performance had a certain fire.
choral performance in Thun compared very unfavorably with these con-

ually they were

position by Saint-Saens,

A
certs

(May

comic.

He

2d).

The conductor

gives the

downbeat

of the local society almost transcends the

to the right, to the left,

seldom down. At the beginning of


get a truck moving,

From Thun

and

sometimes up, but

a composition, he acts as

if

he wants to

in the process lets out a peculiar strangled sound.

went back

to

Oberhofen

for a

few days, caught

six fishes,

and

took walks through blooming orchards.

505.

The

art idiot, as a rule,

is

a very respectable, hard-working person.

week long he sweats around the navel and under the armpits. Can he be
blamed if he wants to indulge his own preference of art on Sundays? Must

All

his brain, searching for relaxation, strain

on the seventh day

as well?

too, there are

works that are absolutely disquieting, or that go so

breed discord.

The

Russians, for instance,

who

are being read so

Now,

far as to

much nowa-

141 / June 1902 to September 1906

was certainly an

days. Ibsen, too,


his fantasy

roams too

far.

man. Bocklin

evil

bearable, although

is

But everything was much better

in the old days!

much more accommodating. Today, everybody wants

Art then was

to be a

unique phenomenon.

And what about us art idiots? Are we complete nonentities? Artists live
who buy their books and paintings. And besides, don't they enjoy

off of us,

our democracy? Therefore, honorable citizens of Switzerland, forward!


Zola's L'oeuvre

How

what

possibilities. It also

must go
As

an uncanny book!

horrible to experience this

becomes

It

has a bearing on ourselves!

book while oneself

me

clear to

that

is

at the verge of ghastly

need

I still

Paris.

realize

it.

there.

if I

were pregnant with things needing form, and dead sure of a mis-

carriage!

5.21.1903.

506.
(five

and

With

Bloesch,

a half hours,

till

made

a fine

walking tour to Schwarzenburg

nine o'clock) and Guggisberg (eleven thirty),

Guggershornli (twelve o'clock). Lunch and a


o'clock,

on by way of Rechthalten

high suspension bridges (half-past


I

had been

Marly

le

in

rest in

to Fribourg, the
six

Guggisberg. At three

uncanny town with the

p.m.). At night, back to Bern by train.

Fribourg several times as a small child.

grand at times. Those were

enchanted location of the

city,

my

We

the Catholicism, travelers'

Strange children from strange lands.

then lived in

impressions of traveling.

first

rests,

The

vermin.

Catholic priest in a long robe and

always cheerful. Tables d'hotes in the open. Trout. Bathing in brooks. Reeds

with brown, cylindrical heads.

Gradually compositions again make an appearance, poetic

507.

conceits expressed in one figure or in a few.

with drawing.

When

come closest
more dubious,

still

use color the results are

(satirical)

to success
for these

painfully gained experiences bear less fruit.

"The Dead Genius," "Mama and Papa Lament over the Green Cadaverous Child," and so on.
508.

Toward

a half

weeks

trip

was

my

the end of

in

May and

spent two and

The

pretext of this

the beginning of June,

Munich, eight days on

official business.

draft board examination. In

March

had written about

this

142 / Diary

HI

matter to the

now

civilian

head of the recruiting commission, Munich A, and

was to be decided.

it

5.28: arrival at 5:18. Lily

English Garden.

To
Then

5.29:
tion.

came

to pick

me up and we

drove through the

again took lodging in the Catholic Casino.

the draft board on Kohleninsel, to be informed about

5.30: a Saturday.
iliary service.

At

Extremely painful examination with a mild

night,

The

examina-

Zumpe.

In the morning, went to the Sezession exhibition.

Possenhofen with

We

Lily.

result: aux-

Meistersingers of Niirnberg, with Knote, Bender,

Feinhals, Fraulein Tordeck. Conductor,


5.31:

my

to the Pinakothek.

strolled to Feldafing

and back

Then

again,

drove to

by way of

Oberpocking, to Starnberg, where we spent the night at Pellet-Meyer's.


(Pentecost) back to

6.1.

Munich. In the evening, Tannhduser with Morena,

Senger-Bettaque, under Zumpe's direction.

On 6.2., a day of rest.


Back

6.3.:

(Morena);

to the Sezession

and

to the Glyptothek. In the evening, Fidelio

the great overture was masterfully conducted by

at the end,

Zumpe.
At

6.4.

night, Lobetanz, a kitsch opera, with R. Walter, Fraulein Tordeck,

and Bender.
In the morning, in the English Garden. Evening, Italian performance

6.5.

of

La

Traviata in the Gartner Theater.

Here begins the

6.6.:

official

part of

my

trip

with an introductory

the doctor [Lily's father]. Afternoon, Schack Gallery; evening,

visit to

Manfred with

Possart.
6.7.:

In the Biedersteiner Park in the morning. Afternoon in the

burger Park, chased

off

by

Evening, in Pullach at the Raven Inn.

6.9.:

Evening, Faust and Marguerite by Gounod.

went

Nymphen-

Evening, played duos at the doctor's.

6.8.:

6.10.: In the evening,

to

rain.

to the

Old Pinakothek. In the afternoon, went


Frau Stumpf and

Hollriegelskreuth-Konradshohe-Grosshesselohe with

Lily.

At

6.11.:

Then

night, played duos at the doctor's.

In the morning, had an early glass of beer on Cathedral Square.

to lunch at the doctor's, with spring roses for his wife. In the afternoon,

143 / J une
a visit to

my

W 2

t0

September 1906

former teacher Knirr. At night, Katharina Cornaro, an opera

by Lachner, with Morena, Raoul Walter, Feinhals. Beautiful Renaissancestyle staging.

Quiet day; on quiet days more inner

6.12.:

and

6.13.

From

[sic],

The

The

at 12.35

pictures left a lasting impression:

Bullfighter s Family, Hodler: Tell, Impressions of

Four

Glaspalast had nothing to offer.

June 1903. Back

512.

on the fourteenth, departure

off;

the Sezession exhibition, a few

Zuloago
Ladies.

Tapering

6.14.:

activity.

in

Bern

find

my

sole consolation in a light opera

company from Vienna. "Vienna Blood," "The Maiden of Belville," "The


Miner," and "The Sweet Lass" saved me from total loneliness. Toward the
end of the month I prepared engravings; first, invented appropriate drawings.
Not that I want to become a specialist now. But painting with its failures
cries out for the relief of minor successes. Nowadays I am a very tired painter,
but

my

July 1903. Studies from nature, with Louis Moilliet, after a drawing

513.

of a

a draftsman holds up.

skill as

nude boy,

are to protect

the other hand,

me

from getting

off

the track, graphically.

must avoid the danger of missing graphic

On

possibilities be-

cause of a fear of natural perspective.

The

first

first

version of this theme,

some

attempt

is

provincial drawer.

The

beast in

man

Affinities of the lady

at least technically successful.

none of whose

The second version still exists.


woman, who is not entirely

pursues the

with the

Recognition of a truth one

bestial.

likes to

Hebbel, Epigrams, Genoveva.

514.

and Beast."

insensible to

it.

Unveiling a bit the feminine psyche.

mask.

The epigrams

are good.

"Virgin in a Tree." Technically more mature, thanks to the use of

lines of varying heaviness. First


tree.

"Woman

prints survive except perhaps in

Then, the modeling of the

etched and engraved the contours of the


tree

and the contours

of the bodies, then

the modeling of the bodies and of the pair of birds.

The

poetic content resembles, at bottom, that of

"Woman

and Beast."

144 / Diary III

The

beasts (the birds) are natural

and

paired.

The

lady wants to be some-

thing special through virginity, but doesn't cut an attractive figure. Critique
of bourgeois society.

Hebbel:

515.

creative, as in

prefer Judith to Genoveva, the untruths are strong

Dostoiewski, Clear Nights.


small

lives.

Louis Moilliet

is

The Sorrows

when we were going

New

517.

a grave,

pure. Attractively

of Werther.

blocked out the nude and

has seen

my

life studies.

in for frivolities,

'The Comedian,"

engraving:

how much

few engravings and knows

unusual way they are connected with the


mature;

Very

like a short story.

beginning to understand me. But then we have worked

He saw how
my drawing. He

in

More

Certain connections with

together.
it

He

he was

first

is

still

version.

Unfortunately

to a nearby

in

use of

what an

not precociously

childlike.

Grotesque mask on

could not

resist

the temptation to use the scenery of this

museum,

The

transfer of the contents of a church

a festive procession

done

Mantegna's

in

completely, even as a drawing, in spite of successful details.


of art;

On

made

moral head. Accompanying the reading of Aristophanes' comedies.

grandiose theater in an engraving.

work

and

The Robbers.

behind

the 14th, Lily

style, failed

The mask

as

the man.

it,

is

expected for a longer

visit.

September 1903. On September 14th, all is empty around me, cold


519.
and waste, nasty and cursed. Then I worked furiously, much more than
the lone result the engraving "Two Men, Presuming Each Other of Higher

Rank"

The

might

indicate.

first

then

went

at the

the etching, too,

Some drawings
ple, a

looked for consolation in

made me

it

composition again and improved

had better luck than the


followed,

more

for

my

social position.

etch the preliminary sketch too soon;

in the

first

manner

it

considerably.

With

time.
of the old woodcut; for exam-

female figure seen from the front, the upper part of the body turned

away toward the


side.

time, impatience

left,

She almost looks

kind of thing?

across the leg


like

on which she

rests,

an architectural sculpture.

both arms on the

What

will

come

left

of this

145 / June 1902 to September 1906

TWO MEN MEET, EACH PRESUMING THE OTHER TO

520.

The new

Trovatore. There

II

is

is

really very good.

Since the Musical Society has refused


will
I

have to do without

my

to concerts

At the

first

me

certain grandeur.
writings.

the free tickets

asked

for,

it

participation in the orchestra this season. Instead

will write criticism for Bloesch's

and

only one very good singer, Frau

Her acting too has a


Opinion About Drama and other theoretical

Guscalewicz, but she

My

Stadttheater will be inaugurated with a performance of

Tannhauser and
Hebbel,

BE OF HIGHER RANK, 1903,

newspaper. This way Til go to the theater

even more often than

symphonic concert the

want

to.

violinist

Capet, from Paris, played won-

derfully.

521.

October 1903. Multatuli:

case, four days of

As soon
played

as

felt

first violin;

tologist, cello.

Max

Havelaar. Attack of

tonsilitis,

heavy

high fever. Lotmar acted as phvsician.


better

we organized exhausting

Moilliet, second; Lotmar, viola;

string quartet orgies.

Lewandowsky,

derma-

146 / Diary III


Tolstoy,

Anna

Karenina.

Second symphonic concert, an all-Schumann program.

November 9th

522.

to 11th

spent in the mountains; on the 9th

was even

up on the Beatenberg.

The

next orgy of quartets gained special significance because our violin

Lotmar and

professor played the viola.


I

led an opus 18

F-sharp,

and the opus 95

and again an opus

Then
ger).

real

who had

alternated at

first

and second

fiddle.

minor. He, an opus 18, opus 59 in

Beethoven

festival.

But the hardest

to listen to all this.

and Gauchat also had their pains (trio hunHummel-Mozart-Beethoven festival. Reichel is a

professors Reichel

So we organized

legal expert, the

son of the former state musical director in Bern. Primitive

musicians (their music center

La Otero

is

in the bowels).

in Bern!

November

523.

18.

job was old Professor Lotmar's

in

"Woman

Reworked

1903.

and Beast,"

this

time with some

satisfaction.

some etchings; his


them back with the comment that they did not please. My first

Collector Reinhardt in Winterthur asks to be sent

527.

wife sends
success in

my own

festo:

'To

536.

December

eyes gives

1903.

architecture in Italy,
utilitarian structures,

pure than other


for

me;

me

the strength to produce an ethical mani-

die honorably."

mean

When

this in a purely

But

to

for higher achievements.

be

monuments

of

illumination. Although these are

the art of building has remained

arts. Its spatial

professional terms.

learned to understand the

won an immediate

more

consistently

organism has been the most salutary school


formal sense, for

a professional

Because

all

is

am

speaking in

strictly

an indispensable preparation

the interrelations between their indi-

vidual design elements are obviously calculable, works of architecture pro-

vide faster training for the stupid novice than pictures or "nature."

And

once one has grasped the idea of measurability in connection with design,
the study of nature will progress with greater ease and accuracy.

The

rich-

W 2

147 / J une
ness of nature, of course,
of

is

so

much

the greater and

September 1906

t0

more rewarding by reason

infinite complexity.

its

Our

initial perplexity

before nature

explained by our seeing at

is

small outer branches and not penetrating to the

But once

this

is

realized,

outermost

in the

The

leaf

first fruitful

one

is

good

to

it

interrupted.

first

the

use.

The danger mentioned

came apparent. Nature lured me onto paths which did not


simple abstraction of the

first

or the trunk.

whole law even

will perceive a repetition of the

and turn

period

main branches

successful works.

in 513 be-

agree with the

These contained the germ

of further works, which, for the time being, were not yet within the realm
of the creatively possible.
I

Nature had already become

was then forced to use too long,

The

would say

a useful crutch

which

until the year 1911, inclusively.

engravings that followed were executed from an accumulation of knowl-

edge that no longer

fitted the latest

experiments, and therefore already con-

them came the loosening and the contact

tained the germ of death. After

with the impressionistic world (1908 to 1910).

and the

Striving toward the purification

538.

isolation of the masculine

type in me. In spite of a readiness for marriage, to reduce oneself completely


to oneself, to prepare oneself for the greatest solitude. Distaste for procrea-

tion (ethical supersensitivity).

There

539.

are

two mountains on which the weather

bright and clear,

is

the mountain of the beasts and the mountain of the gods. But between

the crepuscular valley of men.

lies

he

is

them

perchance one of them gazes upward,

If

seized by a premonitory, unquenchable yearning, he

who knows

that

he does not know, for those that do not know that they do not know and
those

who know

540.

At the

that they know.

third

symphonic concert Schnabel played very beautifully

Beethoven's Piano Concerto in

minor and Schumann's delightful and

profound Carnival. Tire orchestra played Haydn, Mozart, and Mehul.

At the

choir's

Christmas concert Bach's cantata No. 61,

Heiden Heiland, was performed


Jesus,

come

to your

first,

church and give

composition on
a

Nun komm,

a curious text:

happy new year

der

"Come

sound teach-

148 / Diary III


ing

and

pulpit

sovereignty. All the

altar." To compose this required truly great musical


more marvelous is the poem from the twelfth-century

Christmas carol by Spervogel the Elder. Robert Volkmann adapted


perbly for a cappella choir. At the end,

Anton Bruckner's Te

Deum

it

su-

was per-

formed.

1904
Don

Lenau,

546.

Juan, on the occasion of the performance of Richard

symphonic poem. At the

Strauss'

and Heart,

a Swiss play

We

this

heard

Kruse was the

ment

opera as boys at the old Stadttheater,


director.

"Dasch

The

The

at the time.

yelled:

The River by Max Halbe, Hand

theater:

by Anzengruber. Humperdinck: Hansel and Gretel.

entire

es Chrotli!"

when Georg Richard

ravishing Gretel caused a great deal of excite-

Barengraben was

['There

is

in love with her.

native

Gretel!"] This time Gretel was no

ravishing Polish singer, but a realistic figure in poor clothes, with a sagging
stocking; not a theatrical darling, but a real little beggar.

At the fourth symphonic concert the following works were performed:


Juliet, a fantasy by Tschaikowsky; the prelude to the third act
of Gwendoline by Chabrier; and Don Juan by Richard Strauss. In between,
cellist Gerardy played with the sweetest tone a concerto by Saint-Saens and

Romeo and

various solo pieces.

548.

have

now done

on copper. But

three versions of

problem solved now? Perhaps

'The Comedian," the

always found that zinc gave more beautiful


for the

Not

is

etched

lines. Is this

time being.

quintet orgy at Professor Reichel's.

himself.

last

at all bad, for a legal expert.

The
I

professor has

played

first fiddle,

composed one
had rehearsed

carefully to please him.

For

change of pace

around the throat, but

550.

At the

theater,

had

to sweat out another

Michaud was the

a full week. This time


I

bout of

doctor;

tonsilitis, it lasted

he prescribed hot cloths

refused them.

then saw La dame blanche,

and Ibsen's Hedda Gabler.

The

Tales of Hoffmann,

149 / June 1902 to September 1906

Read: Goethe, Conversations with Eckermann, who


Harold's Pilgrimage.

sometimes
sure,

a tear

How

bedewed
".

beautiful.

is

little

old

poem

this

his eye,

now dead

appeals to me!

but that pride turned

the oft-told flames, /

they frown, yet rarely anger dames."

The

is

too, in

Beaumarchais' Barber and Marriage of Figaro. Byron's Childe

spite of Heine.

man from

the Berner

Not bad

it

It

is

said that

to ice: that, to be

Which, though sometimes

either:

Bund mounted

the Bernese stage

(Father-in-law to the respected cousin).

faun formed a pair of nymphs (teen age);

Otherwise things were of pretty fusty vintage.

At the Opera: The Merry Wires of Windsor with Frau Herzog.

551.

Don

Juan with Frau Herzog. Rose Bernd by Gerhart Hauptmann. Read: "Michael Kohlhaas" and the other short stories. Also, a biography of Kleist and

The Broken

Jug.

Symphonic concert: Brahms' Fourth. Mendelssohn's Hebrides

An

name of Giessen sang an


The Bohemian String Quartet

operatic tenor by the

and

few

trifles.

overture.

from Cosi Fan Tutte

aria

played a

Haydn quartet,
From My

Beethoven's opus 131 in C-Sharp minor and Smetana's quartet

The

Life.

latter

Two new

was interpreted most admirably.

Learned the Truth about Herself." The

At the end

553.

of

immediately got up
niece of the Berner

Bund

We gave a smooth

cello.

following day

beautiful viola was


of us

making an

extraordinary

555.

played

little

Woman Who

all right.

for a short while.

first

So we

violin; Fraulein V., the

columnist, second; Lotmar, the viola; and Professor

was

still

'The

called:

at the

there,

performance of three Mozart quartets.

house on Feldeggweg again, and since the

we played

the most intimate music, the two

and

viola

by Mozart, two

works.

An

autobiographer could use

this

kind of self-analysis

model.
Progress? Probably.

blocked. This
give

is

would be

excellent audience: duos for violin

Grillparzer, Journal.
as a

title

March, Lotmar came to Bern


a string quartet.

Gauchat, the

The

One

engravings don't satisfy me.

me

is

courage.

But

for the

time being the perspective ahead

perhaps the proper time for a review, and perhaps

it

will

is

even

150 / Diary

HI

Serious purpose dates from

my

Munich. Then the


Rome. Toward the end of that
by means of "caricatures." Hiihnerwadel

third year of study in

great humiliation of the apprenticeship in

period

began to react against

said in Florence:

it

Projection of the third dimension. In Bern,

achieve closer and closer contact with

my

my own

natural bent.

and

for a long time

What

especially hindered

my

emancipation was

which

saw

Italy

my

copying from nature,

When

did sometimes consciously and sometimes involuntarily.

this duality,

was

at least able to

still

was somewhat constipated.

digestive tract

stuck in

tried to

But

produce a few legitimate works without

direct study of nature.

Every attempt to connect the two immediately pro-

duced things that were

stylistically

horns and studied nature

all

weaker.

wanted

to take the bull

the more, even anatomy.

When

shall

by the
be able

to bridge the gap?

In April the Choral Society put on a very respectable performance of

557.

Schumann's Scenes from Faust. At the Opera you could hear the "Hojotoho."
We had a second string-quartet session at Lotmar's: two by Mozart and two
opus 18 by Beethoven,

minor and B major.

Read: Eleven one-act plays by Strindberg, and Swedish Experiences. In

much

the plays the characters are not so


self

or the various selves of the author.

style

turned again to more familiar things,

that,

must

confess, struck

seems to
I

real individuals as

me

me

as a little

completely

like

symbols for the

new

The Sunken

to

me. After

Bell,

which,

tawdry in places. Merimee's Carmen story

of the highest quality.

even read Schiller's poems, because

just received the first

volume of the

Jubilee Edition.

558.

Toward the end

of April

Thunersee and had an excellent

An

excursion

made toward

spent three days in Oberhofen on the

rest

away from

my

the middle of the

drawing

table!

month with Bloesch and

Lotmar had been a bit too exhausting. We walked through the forest to
Laupen and then to the handsome town of Murten (with its circumvallation).
Lily surprised me with presents, among them a very interesting Rodin
album. Particularly 'The Burghers of Calais"! But not everything is good.
Worked stalled for a time. What I did do (a bit of painting) would have

151 / June 1902 to September 1906


to be considered a kind of recreation in work. Also,

my

material of
suffice

to note that

it

A number

diaries a bit.
I

used to come back

from wine, and that on those occasions


I

of entries

wasn't drunk enough for that after

now and

always

And

all.

but that's another

May

559.

In

and

Don

was

a poet.

out the

be omitted;

my

then with

felt I

sort

safely

head heavy

And

yet that

Neuenburg wines served


tasted wonderful. (The snails

that the

in the restaurant at the railroad station really

too,

began to

might

story.)

The
The Tragedy

1904 read: Gogol,

Carlos. Hebbel,

Enemy

Revisor. Schiller,

Mankind

of

of the Xibelungen.

Monotonous, radiantly beautiful days hurt

my

work. Sometimes

do

few

nervous lines which are very expressive. But at the same time a slight fear
seizes

560.

me.

Is a

my realm

further broadening of

With Bloesch

to

come?

once again went out into our beautiful country.

We

took the Giirbethal railroad to Thurnen and climbed up the Riggisberg. As

had arranged, we met Brack, who has


the afternoon

we took

scapes on which he

Bloesch

is

is

we

himself up here as a landscapist. In

the gorgeous path to Biitschelegg and spent a magnifi-

Down

cent evening there.

set

below, our ways parted, Brack returned to the land-

working, and

we walked back

to

Bern

in four hours.

turning into a complete freethinker and often expresses very anti-

religious views. It

good that

is

experience

all this.

him on the

leg for

But an
it.

his father, the little theologian,

alert

When

dog heard

a particularly

he wanted to cut

from another attack, the knife cut

his finger.

off a
I

no longer has

nasty remark and

to

bit

branch to protect himself

interpreted this as a punish-

ment from heaven.


561.

Read: Calderon, The Marvelous Magician and The Alcalde of Zalame to read the letters on painting by Wilhelm Ostwald,

mea. Lotmar urged

but they didn't appeal to

me

very

much.

My work doesn't progress too well,


somehow. The work
ette,

called

through

my

linear

it.

if

the study of nature had poisoned

"The Lady" had something

but the modeling, because of

the whole charm of

as

In fact,

its

compromise with

ought to think about

inventions without

losing

their

it

attractive as a silhou-

realism, has destroyed

procedure for carrying


original

quality.

Dry

152 / Diary III

point,

the mechanical resistance of the metal did not hinder me. Rodin's

if

sketches of nudes are a good example of

this.

abandon the formal vision of the first engravings


means and promises something to me.

by hand.

prints

it

but cannot

clearly,

it still

woodcuts.

more

It

is

was able to make a few prints of

for the curiosity seeker.

We frequently hold rehearsals for the Swiss Musical Festival

to take place here at the

is

not etched deeply enough for the press. I was able to make the
more appealing by coloring them. On the whole, a rather weird

June 1904.

563.

which

style of the old

It is

still

production,

after

see

so quickly, as long as

"Prophet," a zinc plate worked on (etched) under heavy pressure.

562.

an example of the
it

end of the month. They did

me

call

back,

For the time being we are busy with a symphony by Herr Huber,

all.

from Basel.

It is a

phony Orchestra

very difficult piece.

is

holding

its

own

At the same time the Lausanne Symmoment;

rehearsals, separately for the

later they will join us.

564.

was so

much

need of keeping

in

downright tropical intermezzo

Once

stood

all

of a sudden

engrossed in myself,

was

it

by the Aare.

as

if

my

head perfectly

from heaven.

fell

my brain

cool,

had wandered there

had been burned

out.

had awakened from

at the landscape.

had missed
I

had

it,

a wild

Now

had had

it

dream. For a long time

lay there in all

to miss

led a life of thought, stern

on leading

it,

The time

because

What

splendor, deeply moving!


I

wanted

to miss

it!

so.

sun,

Thou my

a sight

I felt

had not bothered

as

if

to look

How

Until today

and void of the hot blood, and

wish to do

shall

go

lord!

has not yet come, the tangle of struggle and defeat has not yet

been unraveled. There are

me and

its

because

it,

restlessly.

so completely

suddenly the emerald, racing waters and the sunny, golden bank!
I

and now a

wandered about

still

swamps, warm vapors

rise

and

collect

between

the firmament, a host of arrows are turned against me.

The yield of this harvest of "Swiss" music is very, very meager. The
565.
Symphony (No. 31, the "Heroic" in C, by Hans Huber) might be counted if
one wished among the more serious new compositions. A Bizarrie for piano

^02

153 / ]u ne

September 1906

to

a Herr von Glenk holds its own as a truly humorous creanamed Richard showed what it was really like; before this exinterpretation we had been somewhat perplexed by it. Herr von

and orchestra by
tion; a pianist

cellent

Glenk didn't conduct

his

music any too

In contrast with

skillfully.

there

it,

was the somewhat conventional modernity of the Symphonic Fantasy by

Volkmar Andreae. The second evening (chamber music) brought nothing


all,

absolutely nothing.

The

work, the D-minor Mass by Friedrich Klose. That's


Swiss citizens Lauber, Courvoisier,

at

gave us the only significant

third, a choral concert,

Vain were the

all!

Reymond, Meyer,

Isler,

labors of

Pahnke, Charey,

Fassbander, Gustav Weber, Niggli, Haeser, Staub, Joss, Ehrhard, Karmin, the
brothers Munzinger, Kradolfer, Meister, Hess and also Hegar (in spite of the
effect

produced by the

mirably as he did)

latter's

when conducted as adamong the wash-

Ahasuerus, especially

A quartet by Henri

Marteau

also belongs

outs.

And we

proletarians

came

ever

566/67.

had

to play

it all

in

one of the hottest summers that

along.

June/July.

End

of June, beginning of July,

mediately beneath the summit of the Stockhorn.

spent a few days im-

went

to

Thun

with Brack,

then by mail carriage to Amsoldingen-Stocken. Here we started the ascent


along the northern slope, zigzagging through pine forests. During a
near the timber line a giant bird beside us flew away.
on,

It

by way of Alpigtal, to the Bachmatt, where we had


point there

this

is

a steep area until the place

is

was
a

first

pause

a rock eagle.

Then

thorough

After

rest.

reached where one turns

toward the southern side of the mountain. Brack was loaded with painting
gear and was remarkably cautious in walking.

inn

is

ever

no longer very

came

practically

The

later

on

crest

had

far

away.

to sleep

From

on the

floor.

two beds"; who-

In ten minutes you reach the top,

all fours.
is

bewitching.

The sound

of bells

and cowbells of the high

Bachalp carry up from the depths. Once there was

and

the turn, the Stockhorn

We were given "the room with

saw lightning bolts at

my

feet.

For

thunderstorm on Thun,

few moments, half-hours

at the

most, a dream of being free from the labors of the past years. But then a voice

seemed

to call:

"Come

back, you are not yet entitled to flee."

Dear, distant towns, grant

me

a brief respite; then, yes!

will return.

want

154 / Diary

HI

to finish

don't want to

it,

my hand

keep

on the

want

flee. I

to take the culture route,

want

to

drill.

decided on the southern path down, by the two lakes, around the Miesch-

down by

fluh,

the rather ugly Chrinde into the Simmental. In Erlenbach

ham and good Vaudois

asked for good

wine;

missed something in being

re-

duced to milk, bread, and cheese.


I

again spent a few

still filled

summer

days vacationing in Oberhofen.

with happy memories of

Lily.

by them, from delicacy toward the


Haller visited me.

568.

He

if

shut

my eyes

In "Feminine

place was

walked

no objection can be made

praised the engravings;

by

oneself, at the hard stone.

the unction of his praise had had a prompt effect,

Charm" and "The

The

whenever

sensitive soul.

to that, after boring away, completely

As

But

etched "Feminine

Allegory of the Mountains."

Charm,"

a refined version of the unveiling of the lady, every-

thing takes place in the facial features.

The

me more than the


more enjoyable. Octhe second time. Xenophon, Plato's

fourth canto of Byron's Childe Harold pleased

preceding ones (twenty to twenty-four!). But Heine


casional Poems,

Symposium

Winter

Tales,

for

is

very beautiful.

Through the indiscretion of Fraulein Pacewitsch,


and poems by a Japanese gentleman.

570/72.

came

into pos-

session of letters
I.

4.18.1904.

"My

dear Fraulein, Lily of the valley,

My dear lily of the valley!


The rain,
bosom of
thrown

men

and pure

of the valley!

lily

like

innocent maiden /

/ Threaten to tear Thee from

soft

Thy whole

fate

hands of nature. /

button hole of

dear

art pretty

her mother. / Nonetheless you look so happy /

in the

tiredness.

Thou

the wind, the hands of

Lily of the valley,


in the

Thy

lily

lily

of the valley! /

my

coat.

spirit as little

My

dearest friend thee has stuck

Thy perfume me

angel into

refreshes out of the

my dream

of the valley, be thou for ever in

comes.

bloom! / Respectfully

Dr. Sch."
II.

June 25th.

"My

dear Fraulein, Herewith

take the liberty to express

great gratitude for your very friendly invitation. So far

had never

lived as

155 / ]une 1902 to September 1906


agreeably and natively in Bern as today at your home.

hood with you and hope it will begin


dare so to name, so too much, and the
and more deeply with gruesome

But

am

Europe.

do not know the

guage. Moreover,

work

a splendid

new

might

if I

me more

swiftness.

local

love you,

flood of feverish love swallows

is,

me and

rightly so.

am

of completely different race than in

customs exactly;

have a heavy weight on

here, so that

have drunk brother-

life for us. I

always afraid whether you really can love

gentleman from Far East, that

do not master the

my boulders,

that

is,

lan-

to accomplish

might be able to demonstrate the capacity of

the people of the Rising Sun and at the same time obtain a good chair at

Tokyo

University.

my

But

my

In

dear Fraulein! Your look

enjoyed no
in

kiss

from you).

my blood makes

have no doubt that tonight you

dear

my

Helen!

(albeit

will

come

have

to

me

dream.

At

last

dare to express

my

burning wish, namely, should tomorrow Sun-

day the weather be beautiful, after dinner to come with

up there to wander with

Your loving
III.
I

bleat!

me happy

and Your Kiss makes

soul lives your image,

me

in the

visit

to the

Gurten and

friend Dr. Sch."

June 27th. "Very honored Fraulein

wood

me

marvelous green wood.

you

this evening.

P.:

promised you on Saturday that

But quite unexpectedly you went

Students' Society, in spite of our appointment. It

to the Polish

clear to explain

is

who

is

wrong.
believe

about
I

it

you have

as a

until

now come so much toward me

that one hardly think

simple friendliness.

love the truth,

my

heart

is

too noble; too pious, to be deluded by you in

vain.

You

are a noble Fraulein,

am

also a

good reputation, we both unmarried


course,

and therefore

Farewell,

573.
it.

The

my

gentleman;

believe

living persons, to

brings us not

rule of our lord the sun

Dr. Sch."

is

hard, because of a lack of adjustment to

Adaptation has turned us into Northerners after

and

it

in intimate inter-

wish herewith to take leave of you.

respected Fraulein

ideas about work,

be

as a

all.

The way

of

life,

the

matter of fact the whole ethical scheme, can't

156 / Diary III


stand too

much

waiting.

intermitted.

My vital
preserved.

sun.

saved myself by a kind of resignation and watchful

functions were locked up somewhere or other in a strongbox, well

An

ear applied to

574.

There were a few

handy

for

my future

could hear the pulse ticking

it

Lily's projected visit.

They came

cases of typhoid fever in Bern.

father-in-law,

and he was able to put

This led to a

little

intrigue

softly.

between Bern, Munich, and

Braunschweig, where Lily was staying with her grandmother.


appealed to us: either
in

would go

Oberhofen on the Thunersee.

and he had to be

575.

satisfied

Lotmar showed

up.

in very

resounding veto on

to Braunschweig, or Lily

Two

and

solutions

would meet

We outwitted the old gentleman in this way,

with the latter solution.

He

is

leaving Strassburg. After the holidays he will

Of course, a musical set-to was organized at once, in


summer weather. Mozart's Divertimento, one of his most

start as Sahli's assistant.

spite of the sultry

beautiful works,

by storm.

We

and Beethoven's Serenade, both

had

a public of experts,

perfectly delightful Brussels griffons.

These prizewinning dwarf dogs spend

the day at the dog show. At night the

mama

them alone

the day, too, she doesn't leave

were taken

for string trio,

Frau Hermann-Rabausch with two

dog takes them

for a

moment; she

But during

in.

alternates with a

Bavarian boob of a nephew in sitting in front of the cage.


Gorki's Night
I

Asylum given

particularly liked the

576.

Lily's visit

was

mediocre performance at the summer theater.

"Why? No

set for

Idea."

mid-August, and she told

me

to

be

in Basel

on

From Bern, "more specifically" Oberhofen, we took beautiful tours, among others a beautiful ride to Interlaken,
Lauterbrunnen, Wengen, Wengernalp. Here we had lunch within view of
the towering mountain, on which we gazed to our heart's content and then
walked up to the Kleine Scheidegg and down to Grindelwald, where we caught

Wednesday, where we met

happily.

the last train.

Another time we took the

train to

Beatenberg where we visited

my Helen, who had expressed the wish to become acquainted


Then

the two of us took the direct way

down

with

O love

my

"bride."

to the Beatus cave, the "Lad-

157 /
der."

We

looked at the inside with

its

new

W 02

J une

to

September 1906

and then, passing up


At that time there were no

furnishings

the steamer, walked straight back to Oberhofen.

You had to walk to the inlet.


we took a trip to Geneva, from Bern,

landings yet near the caves.

On

a third occasion

overcome by that beautiful


street music.

manner

saw coffee-shop

my

that

traffic

is,

and were

and the merry

played their instrument in the

thumb between

their right-hand

sound was exceptionally

hair. Still, their

after a long time,

who

violinists

and pressed

of cellists

board and their

with the glittering tourist

city

strong.

the finger

heard again,

beloved "vieni o notte dolce" sung by an Italian street

singer.

After this bewitching place, this charming piece of France, Lausanne didn't

seem very

attractive to us, like a bastard child of Bern, very

Montreux, the scenery


In the

way

of

at least

art, too,

there was

much

with a group of the finest Corots.


best thing in the

Woman"

She looked blotched

spots.

picture! (In Basel

In Bern
music.

we had

all

we had seen
all sorts

patois. In

Geneva, the Rath Museum,

to see. In

Among them

newer painting. In Lausanne we

by Amiet was hung

much

enchantingly beautiful.

is

kind of nude

figure, the

there, covered with great pasty-looking


over.

And

yet

is

"A

visited the Swiss Salon.

was a

sun

relatively outstanding

the best Swiss gallery.)

of visitors

must note an extremely

whom

was able to welcome with good

fine afternoon: Haller

brought to

my

house

Hans Reinhard, the


There we had listeners such as

Karl Hofer, Bruhlmann, Cardinaux, and Brack, as well as


rather strange son of his

can only be found

and Hofer's patron.

among

painters

who

are equally fervent.

contrast to

all

the painted idols in Lotmar's house.

As

matter of fact we had an exciting session there too, for once, because

the professor had bought a beautiful Bechstein at an auction. Piano sonatas,


trios,

quartets

(Mozart), and quintets

(Schubert's Trout Quintet)

were

played with enthusiasm.

577.

Read: Ibsen, John Gabriel Borkmann, Little Eyolf. Lily had read

When We Dead Awake aloud

to

me.

The Opera reopened with a performance of Aida, but this opera is too difficult for local resources. The Postilion de Lonjumeau, on the other hand, came
off very nicely.

158 / Diary III

We

were tickled with

with women.
filia

It

seemed

Max

drily;

"we

cough together!" By

just

preliminary relations through the wall, from one


concert at the

room,

all

Kaim he

does have a certain luck

something was going on between him and a

and we asked him how things stood with her?

hospitalis in Barerstrasse,

"Well!" he replied

He

Brack in Munich.

to us that

room

this

he meant very

to the next. After a

arrived with his coat, after the usual run

on the cloak-

"Oh, how they smelled today!" (sounding exasperated)

excited:

woman!"

"Especially one old

His relations with Haller were very informal,

as

between schoolboys. From

time to time they fought, half seriously; but once, when

was present,

it

got

be v ery

much in earnest. Brack was stronger and finally pinned him on his
back. Then he began to play all kinds of unmentionable jokes on his defeated
adversary. The scene lasted quite a while and ended with a sharp slap on
Mimu's (Haller's) ears. Mimu is a man who hides what he is doing, Brack
is a man who secretly builds up spite. This is the basic reason for such scenes.
to

They

been

are supposed to have

at

each other once at the top of the Stock-

horn.

In September

578.

escorted Lily on her trip

ing to see each other soon in Munich,


usual. In Zurich

we saw

In the meantime

home,

we found

the Kunstlerguetli;

read Shakespeare,

it

Expect-

as far as Zurich.

leave-taking not so painful as

had

few beautiful

Romeo and

Juliet,

pictures.

Moliere, Tartuffe,

Keller, The People of Seldwyla.


Then I was in Munich from the 15th to the 25th of October.
museum print room several times. During her brief stay in Bern

and Gottfried

Wassiliew had got


work. His style
is

is

me

excited about Beardsley.

influenced by the Japanese and

something seducing about

it,

visited the

this

is

thought-provoking. There

and one follows with some

hesitation.

handed an English book about Blake. Karl Hofer had raved about
closer to

and

my current point of view.

especially the "Desastros

me many

new

For

may have been

was

It

was

la

guerra" thoroughly captivating. Lily gave

at the time. It

a willingness to lay myself

times.

it.

found Goya's "Proverbios," "Caprichios,"

photographs of paintings by Goya. These were the things

good account professionally

more

de

summer

asked for his earlier and later

was more

open to these things that were

too

much

laid to

necessity than impulse,

out of touch, after

all!

signs of the

159 / ]u ne
I

^02

September 1906

to

was able to hear some wonderful performances at the Hofoper. Hans

Heiling conducted by Felix Mottl, with Feinhals. Tristan and Isolde (Mottl)

The Devils
weak new

with Knote and Senger-Bettaque.

Walter and

Bosetti.

Then

too a rather

with Raoul

(Mottl)

Part

The Curious

item:

Women

by Wolff-Ferrari, splendidly performed under Reichenberger's direction by


Charlotte Huhn, Breuer, Tordek, and Bosetti.

At the Schauspielhaus, Der Kammersanger and Salome (Wilde).

had

(I

seen a more moving performance of Salome in Bern with Fumagalli and

Swoboda.)

At the Gartner Theater: The Grand Duchess

of Gerolstein (Offenbach)

Particularly marvelous were the Chinese acrobats at the Deutsches Theater.

Real Asians are better than English aesthetes tired of Europe. Saharet came

and went

like a light

wind, leaving behind as the

not the

last, if

im-

single,

pression of her, her leg poised between the closed curtains.

Fully laden back to

my

bachelor's den.

In Bern a performance of

579.

Bloesch's newspaper,
little

had

The Flying Dutchman which,

orchestra was unbearably harsh, as

if it

as the critic for

was very painful. The

to listen to at least in part,

were trying to smash

tin ears to

pieces.

And

was plagued by

a little violin pupil

student worked very hard and with

only had to take

up the custom

On

of

less noise. I

room and board from


meeting with Jahn

father.

named Roby.

earned pocket

money and now

On

all

The

580.

thought a

had

Monday, Thursday, and

longish interruption did no


little

self again!

archist,"

to myself were Sunday,

about Blake. But then,

engraved the

harm

in

final version of

to

my

The

kept

was now

in-

only days

Friday.

work. At times

God's name,

"Woman

on the Amthausgasse.

Tuesday and Wednesday nights the orchestra rehearsed;


had

painting

Saturday afternoons

in the coffeehouse

dentured for a fixed fee to play at the symphony concerts.


still

girl

still

was completely my-

and Beast," "The Mon-

and the new "Perseus."


to

have

a great deal of patience

with the printing, because

Max

Girardet was away, but the feeling that these were relatively crucial works was
not,

hope, a deceptive one!

When

worked on the

little

etching "Feminine

160 / Diary III

Charm,"
ceive

was forced to think of the Polish woman.

might be the legend. She

said to suffer

In

is

living

and studying

from tuberculosis. Lily of the

my mind

look that did not de-

in

Toulouse now; she

is

valley, lily of the valley!

arrange an exhibition of the engravings and already think

about the order in which they are to be hung.

581.

am

learning to decipher viola keys, so as to have greater variety in the

string quartet.

At the second symphony concert we played Handel's Concerto Grosso

in

major, Rameau's suite from Castor and Pollux, and the Third Brandenburg

Concerto

in

major by Johann Sebastian. The Quatuor Vocal Bruxellois

sang wonderful old music. Chanson de table by D. Friederici (1624-?),

Madrigal by Waelrant (died 1595), Les Tribulations Conjugales by Orl.


de Lassus (died 1594), Madrigal by Mathieu le Maistre (died 1577), Madrigal

by Ph.

di

Monte

(died 1594),

Chanson de May

Deux chansons
son by

J.

Le Moys de May by Jannequin (1528-?),

(sixteenth century), Gagliarda by Hasler

(died 1612),

soldatesques du temps de Charles VIII (anonymous), Chan-

Mareduit (died 1627), Chanson Napolitaine (1520-1580) by

A. Scandello.

At the third symphony concert only Beethoven was played. 1. The Second
Symphony, 2. Overture to Egmont, 3. Overture to King Stephan. Pianist De
Gref played the Concerto
After that

poem by

we went

Liszt,

E-flat

major on a superb

Pleyel.

to Neuchatel again. Beethoven's Second, a

Mozart's Violin Concerto in

symphonic

minor, wonderfully played by

Thibeaud.

Read: Ibsen, Ghosts, The


the People; Moliere,

Don

Pillars of Society,

The Wild Duck, An Enemy

of

Juan, with foreword by Voltaire; Raimund, Spend-

thrift.

582.

December

1904. Printed at

last,

and

am

satisfied.

This new Perseus

has dealt the sad dull monster Misfortune the death blow by cutting off
head. This action

is

reflected

by the physiognomy of the

functions as a mirror of the scene.

mixed with laughter, which


angle,

unmixed

suffering

is

The

underlying marks of pain become

finally retains the

carried

man whose

its

face

upper hand. Viewed from one

ad absurdum

in the

Gorgon's head added

161 / June 1902 to September 1906

on the

side.

The

and of

its

crown

expression

triumphed over Misfortune

When

583.

significant

stupid, rather, the

(a

more

some

looking at any significant work of

of

head robbed of

its

ridiculous vestiges.

refined sequel to the

one probably has had to be

At the end

583a.

is

of snakes except for

art,

nobility

Wit

has

"Comedian").

remember

that a

more

sacrificed.

December, Jean de Castella turned up once

again. Every

time he has moved a step closer to total self-neglect. At the railroad station,

he paid
usual.

for caviar,

He no

Pommard, and

longer

tells

me

about

He still has not


of my life to start

Asti.

his

Quite drunk, he boarded

new

religion, "otherwise,

his train as

you

will again

Munich. "Oh,

take from me!"

forgotten his Toni

give ten years

there again because such a beautiful

never
I

in

would

life will

come back."

read Oscar Wilde's Socialism and

Mans

Soul on the advice of Professor

Lotmar.

1905 BERN
At Lotmar's, with Jahn on the viola, we played Beethoven's Harp
D major, and also the Viola Quartet by Haydn. A
string-section rehearsal for Death and Transfiguration was scheduled on
584.

Quartet and Opus 18 in

January 7th.

On

the 8th

took a beautiful walk with Lotmar through the

Gurtental by way of Koniz.

my

We

discussed the incredible proposition of

future papa-in-law that his daughter pay for her

what can you

say about

something

like this?

room and

We stopped at

board. But

Kehrsatz and ran

into Brack.

At the fourth symphony concert, on January 24, we played Brahms' Second


his Academic Overture. Halir played Beethoven's Concerto. When the

and

orchestra lagged behind, he took sly


a

little

breathers. Better than rehearsing for

long time, he thought, as he faked the tempo.

He

also

performed the Adagio

from Spohr's Ninth Concerto and two Hungarian Dances by Brahms-Joachim.

The

latter spirited. In a

booming

inn that served Pilsner beer.

voice, this giant asked

whether there was an

162 / Diary III

January 1905. "The Hero

585.

haps a

Don

made

murkily

With

Wing,"

the

a tragicomic hero, per-

Quixote of ancient times. This formula and poetic


its

appearance in November, 1904, has

now

and developed. The man, born with only one wing,


creatures,
legs,

but

makes incessant

solemn attitude and

captured, as an

fly.

under the banner of

persists

statue-like,

efforts to

emblem

idea,

been

finally

which

clarified

in contrast with divine

he breaks

In doing

so,

his idea.

The

his already ruined state

his

arms and

contrast between his

needed especially to be

of the tragicomic.

Read Heinse, Ardinghello, Hebbel,

Diaries,

Oscar Wilde, The Ballad of

Reading Gaol, Aesthetic Manifesto.

586.

scene,

the place: the square before the

the background, the station with

open

its triple

portal;

railroad station in Bern; in

on the

left,

the well-known

corner.

The

protagonists: Brack

with two friends; Dellacasa, with a

(drunk)

drunkard.

Brack (coming out through the


shouts to friend A)

You

central door with his friends, steps forward;

(To friend B)

re horrible!

You

too.

You're both

Nasty fellows!

horrible! (Pause.)

(Dellacasa enters with his drunken companion from the right).

Brack (not recognizing him)

don't like them! (comes nearer,

them!

Whom do

Who

harm? Nobody!

Dellacasa: Us?

are they?

somewhat more

Who are you?

... do
softly):

(Very

like

But

them? No!

won't harm

close.

Who are you?

Brack (recognizes him) Ah, it's Dell! Hi Dell!


Dellacasa (holds out his hand to him) Mighty
:

fine,

Bracky-boy, at this

late hour!

Brack (sniffs at him) Say, you!


Dellacasa (while Brack continues
:

fortable slowness)

It

seems you're

to act

still

around him

like a dog,

with com-

the same!

(The friends and the drunkard laugh.)


Brack (has caught fire, points in the direction of the red-light
don't wanna go home yet!
Dellacasa (who just came from there) You're too late! They
:

district)

just closed!

163 / June 1902 to September 1906

Brack

(tottering)

on

lapsing

his back.)

Then

I'll

Dellacasa: Can't you do

it

Brack (irritated): You're


down scoundrel!
Dellacasa

stay here! (Proves this statement true by col-

(To Dellacasa) Help me on my

feet!

yourself?

a scoundrel, a nasty churl!

good -humor edly extends

his

hand)

(Furious.)

low-

won't take such talk

from you! (Pulling.) Come, I'm gonna help you!

Brack (back on

his legs,

calmed down)

Dellacasa: And now good-bye!

That's the way!

go home! (Exit.)
Brack (calling after him) Hey you, can't you stay a bit longer?
Dellacasa (in the open corner) Here's to us!
(The drunkard suddenly realizes that he has lost his guide, runs after him
I've got to

as

best he can.

Dellacasa

(calling

from a distance)

slipped in meaninglessly everywhere.

such expression:

Brack

587.

give

and
up

For

a while!

Twenty

(A word

years later, I

that

is

being

ran into another

"all in all.'*)

(leaving, to his friends)

(Exit one

You're horrible, the bunch of you!

all.)

as too

anecdotal the subject of a rubberlike creature striving

upward, which thereby becomes so thin that the arrows aimed at him cannot
hit

him, but at most graze him.

At the Opera I heard tolerable performances of The Abduction and


588.
Carmen. On the other hand, the performance of The Magic Flute was very
bad.

remember how

as high-school students*

spoiled innocence, by the figures of Papagena

we were enchanted,

were afraid; then too, she struck us as too worn-out for youngsters.

The Huguenots with his delicate woman's legs was


actually always had in mind the woman playing the role.

boy

589.

in

My

chief instruments, the sharp pencils

and Robert the Devil.

our

just

The page

our type.

We

and engraving needles, have

been given these beautiful names: Lupus, Fiintzhart,


Rigoletto,

in

and Micaela! Of Carmen we

Chriittli,

Xero, Judas,

164 / Diary III

As

590.

scratch

away

in the living

an ill-humored, wilting lady

meant

for

me, but

it

me

hits

anyway.

drawing pad onto the newspaper


anger and gives

proper

591.

me

My

strokes run over

little

It is

underneath. This diverts

I've placed

not

from the

my

time to consider exactly which three words would be the

In the process

retort.

room, sharpening one of these pencils,

indulging in inflammatory speeches.

is

my body

trembles very

softly.

Last Sunday two Russian greyhounds violently attacked a local dog

pulling a cart.

The people at once sided with the one that was working for the
Now, were they taking sides against the foreigners (strange

dairy business.
riff-raff), I

asked myself, or with the proletarian? This problem constantly

preoccupies me. Moilliet

is

other's asses!" Moilliet

is

no

he

real ally, for

man

of the world,

said:

"Let them bite each

and becoming more so every

day.

592.

Our Quartet

is

to perform semi-publicly, at a charity event organized

by the Russian Students' Association


street fights.

tions

Since

We rehearse

Death and the Maiden, and,


I

am

not ambitious,

of having to learn

it all.

for those

who

Beethoven's Opus 18 in

Our

eagerness. This fellow will

an encore, the

as

let Fritz

play

first

fell in

little

fiddle

Serenade by Haydn.

and leave him the work

teacher Jahn plays the viola. Lotmar is all fire, all


burn himself out prematurely, if he undertakes

everything with the same unrestrained energy.

The

fire

that burns in

burns with thought about the purpose of the project.


joyous work, but this he didn't understand at

A peculiar person,
I

it

am

with imposing

beginning to realize that

would even be

a hindrance.

Yes, the fellow

who

the St. Petersburg

minor, Schubert's varia-

this
I

is

have

him

also

was more for a

all.

But without grace. And all intellect.


onesidedness. For me, as a creative artist,

gifts.

just

enough of

it.

plays the second fiddle understands

many

things quite

well.

592a.

Before "taking the stage," Fritz was in a state of latent excitement.

While we were tuning up

backstage, he knocked the bridge down. Jahn

a very nervous, very high leap into the

But now the intonation was

air.

made

Luckily the tuning fork held steady.

in danger. Upstairs they all quieted

down, and

165 / June 1902 to September 1906


Fritz played with great energy. It

was

a real

triumph.

On

the following day he

brought the instrument, a Guarneri del Gesu lent by Frau von Sinner, to the
violin

maker, to be sure that nothing had happened to

it.

During the party the news spread that Plehne had been the victim of

criminal attack, which threw a pall over things.

We

592b.

quartet players

now mustered new

courage and tried out

and

partners: a Fraulein Mauerhofer, a pupil of Berber,

burg from Schlosswyl.

Read: Gottfried

593.

(continuation)

Then

played

my

first

Keller, Dietegen,

viola part

(Dvorak).

The Lost Laughter; Hebbel,

book by somebody

a nonfiction

new

Reverend Lauter-

Diaries

called Deutsch: Sixteen

Years in Siberia.

Work
clenched

of an essentially preparatory kind.


fists as

antlers.

And one who,

"Phoenix Bird."

A man

with

caught up in emotion, grows the fangs

of a wild beast.

At
alto

a concert

by the Choral Society, Brahms' Rhapsody

for

was the only work of importance. The Sea by Nicode

male choir and


shabby.

is

Haller wrote twice. First, he needed his Kangaroo for the contest exhibition for Swiss Scholarship holders.

And

on an open post

then,

came

card,

this

request:

"Rome,

Flaminia no. Dear Friend,

via

request. Please send

me

by

at once,

(about 300 grams), for making

tea.

You can

from Brack. Best regards to you and


Haller. Greetings also

ing riddling,

rimandato

597.

from Hofer."

come

to

registered mail, a

On

you with

a peculiar

few twigs of Thuja

get information about the tea

to the others

from yours, Hermann

the address side of the card the follow-

anonymous words were written in


ricevete un grosso bono N.S."

pencil: "fortuna, che ve

Vho

io, e

At the

fifth

velous musicians

symphony

who

concert, Casals played, one of the

ever lived!

The sound

of his cello

is

most mar-

of heart-rending

melancholy. His execution unfathomable. At times going outward from the


depths, at times going inward, into the depths.
plays,

but his mouth growls softly

At the

in the

He

closes his eyes

when he

midst of this peace.

rehearsal he browbeat our Association's conductor heavily. Casals

YOUNG MAN LEANING ON


LYRE, 1905, 33

167 / June 1902 to September 1906

hour

arrived about half an

The

Spaniard,

who

late.

The conductor

greeted

him watch

in

hand.

doesn't understand Swiss humor, was peeved by this

how good you

The

gesture.

Obviously thought to himself: we shall see

tutti of

Haydn's Concerto began. (N.B.: main rehearsal before an audience

Our conductor has never been good

of paying customers.)

and he naturally picked


In vain, of course!

Now

are.

at selecting tempi,

completely wrong one. Casals tried to set him

he started

his solo

and

it

sounded

as

if

right.

the gates of

heaven had been thrown open. However, since he was not Halir with
breathing

spells,

he demanded that everyone keep measure.

his

Now the conductor

make the orchestra come in correctly in spite of reThe Spaniard had long since realized that the conductor
didn't feel the music, but now he began to suspect that his knowledge of the
score might be faulty, besides. He called aloud every note of the tutti entrance
got scared and couldn't

peated attempts.

to him. It rang out as sharp as could be, just like a solfeggio class.

The audience was

eager to discover

Boccherini sonata. But the Spaniard had

how
left

pianist

Brun would

fare in the

with the words "Ah, cest terrible

de jouer avec cet orchestre!" refusing to play another note. Fritz Brun was
very glad

and rehearsed with him

later at

home where

Casals said he was

satisfied.

At the concert Casals

sat

growling in front of the orchestra as

it

was playing

The conductor turned around dumbly beseeching his


tempo. The Spaniard endured it for just one beat, and then he
the basses, and with a few taps of his bow on the back of his

the introductory bars.

opinion of the
joined in with

instrument, brought order to the proceedings.

We had to play Mozart's Symphony in G minor, an overture


by Spontini, and the

little

(La Vestale)

Cosi Fan Tutte overture, that most wonderful of

wonderful works.
Besides Boccherini, Casals, as a solo, played a saraband by Bach.

599.

What

them? In

does the

artist create?

Forms and spaces! How does he create


satire, you plague of intellec...

certain chosen proportions

tuals.

600.
Concerts in March. Bohemian String Quartet: Mozart's D minor,
Dvorak F major, Beethoven's E minor op. 59. In Neuchatel I participated in

168 / Diary III

Matthew

the Saint

Passion and even recruited Lotmar for

it.

Kaufmann sang

the tenor part very well; the Christus as sung by Oort, from Utrecht, also had
dignity.

The

choir obviously

had worked hard.

It

lacked only that supreme

power.
In Bern

we played

the year's last

symphony

concert. Liszt: Preludes, Cesar

Franck: Les Djinns for piano and orchestra, Richard Strauss: Death and
Transfiguration, Berlioz:

At

601.

Lotmar,

Roman

a quartet session,

Carnival overture.

Lotmar and Lewandowsky blew up in succession.


had laid it on thick; Lewandowsky com-

in his excessive enthusiasm,

pared his performance with the violin-playing of


I

a Strassburg concert master.

played the viola and wasn't responsible (Beethoven's op. 18 in G, Mozart

C).
Read: Heinse, Ardinghello. Ibsen, The Master Builder

much an

idea,

gual edition from the

Many

German

Artists' Library in

things have gone topsy-turvy with

and Gretel without knowing the Ring.


sen, and Ibsen before Hebbel.

Amiet before Van Gogh


I

(it

has remained too

but very captivating); Ovid, Metamorphoses, in an old

me:

bilin-

Rome.
heard Pagliacci and Hansel

saw plays by Sudermann before

Ib-

(later notation)

was bedridden from March

nth

to 13th (fever, hoarseness, cough,

and

cold).

602.

3.20.

'The Aged Phoenix" does not

500 years old, and as can be seen,

that time. This cross between realism


effect. Its

expression

is

represent an ideal figure; he

all sorts

of things

and

fable

not without a tragic

is

side,

happened

to

is

really

him during

what produces the comic


and the thought that this

creature will soon be reduced to parthenogenesis doesn't open any cheering


perspectives.

The rhythm

of failure, with a 500-year periodicity,

is

a sublimely

comical notion.

Although Ovid

is

be read there about

not the right author for


this bird

to be brutally burned, in this

it,

number

(Metamorphoses XV, 393


I

of nice things are to


f.). I

prefer

agree with Ovid. Printed for the

Monday, March 20th.


Now comes "The Threatening Head";

am

first

him not
time on

almost inclined to believe that

169 / June 1902 to September 1906

be the

this will

will follow.

We

603.

have

Some

enough.

my eyes

toward Spain where Goyas grow.

just printed

"The Threatening Head." The end

destructive thought or other, a sharply negative

above a hopelessly resigned

D.

604.

is

Max

And now
and

professional violinist

gloomy

demon

quite talented.

some

he

is,

could

doesn't

know

still

tell

him? She

But everything about her

too blond-on-blond, a bit lean, no longer in her


contradicts the childlike features.

to wait for

jail.

What

he consults me.

is

had

a second version

Girardet was stuck in the army

in love, of course only half happily; that

where he stands.

is

little

face.

March/April 1905. The printing of


time because

new

the strict style and that something entirely

last print in

turn

is

is

a bit

bloom, which rather

first

From Cologne.

Eyes the color of forget-me-nots were once again responsible for poor D.'s
losing his peace.

No

doubt, devouring love

is

something beautiful and strong,

but then she ought to be of the right mettle. D. probably

adequate and

worthy of

self

flees

from

to thresh these things out for himself


I

gave him

see

whether

advice from others. But

and only then would he

courage:

first

and not look

for

sound

she ought to be really his,

in the long run she

would be the

right

one

him.

605.

wouldn't be suited to play a part

contemptuously.

all

feels pretty in-

doesn't imagine him-

their interest. Rightly, perhaps.

Everybody has

for

women. Or he

really fiery

sions.

know

was

still

like D.'s.

But

do not mean

this at

have already seen Haller experience such great pas-

In contrast to these people,

strategy.

when

exactly

how

have developed a cunning, practical

to recognize

all

the dangers; during the years

halfway childish, some few moments gave

me

fleeting

glimpses of these hells, and that was enough.


Since then, what

By

this, I

mean not

is

most intimate

only love

the exposed positions around


or other have

some prospect

for

it,

for

it is

me

remains most sacredly locked up.

easy for

me

upon which the

of success.

to talk

about

this

assaults of fate in

but

all

one form

HI

170 / Diary

Whether

this strategy

pear in time.

Perhaps
for

it is

may

did not choose

because

my

not lead to a certain impoverishment will apfreely, it

it

developed early in me.

most important

instincts as a creative artist are the

me. Or perhaps the whole matter should not be interpreted so

perhaps an ageless philosophic

even

if it

One

means leading

thing

rationally:
this world,

us into the wilderness.

quite certain: in creative

is

who overcomes

holds sway,

spirit

moments

have the great privilege

of feeling thoroughly calm, completely naked before myself, not the self of a

day but the whole sum of


subject to quiverings

self, totally

working instrument.

and convulsions cheapens

its

and

style

self that

is

steps out of the

frame wearing a top hat.

One sometimes

feels like saying to a

"work of

art":

"Good

day, Herr Self,

what kind of a necktie did you put on today?"


Thus stand I armed, should an Opus 2 come upon me.
Should nothing new come,

omen,

break

off relations

shall

have nothing to say any more. As an

with everything that

Don

lies

behind me.

Juan (a few remarkable scenes), Gogol,

606.

Read: Tirso de Molina,

Dead

Souls, a very important work, performance of

The Revisor

at the

Wedekind, Hidallah. Opera: Tales of

theater, not played Russian enough.

Hoffmann, Guscalewicz showed really great art in her impersonation of


Antonia in the last act. For a few minutes one forgot the provincial stage, the
stage in general, the thing

The

began to breathe.

choir sang Mozart's

Requiem,

it

was a very beautiful performance. The

four soloists, too, sounded fine. Before that,


Sebastian, Herr, bleibe hex uns,

denn

es will

came

cantata by Johann

Abend werden. What

master-

pieces!

607.

Others have interpreted the "Comedian" long before me. Gogol, Dead

Souls,

I,

Chapter

7.

".

that there exists a kind of laughter which

to be ranked with the higher lyric

twitchings of a

He

calls his

emotions and

is

infinitely different

is

worthy

from the

mean merrymaker."
novel "a world of visible laughter and invisible tears.

Further on, the Russian saying:

on one's scutcheon."

"To

carry the laughing tear

."
.

emblazoned

i7i / June 1902 to September 1906

CAT, 1905

172 / Diary III

Somewhat more

Heine

banally,

says:

"To

laugh, as

if

death were tickling

us with his scythe."


608.

once heard a pretty Swiss song:

Why

myself about me?

fret

been so

I've never
It'll

great.

take a while yet to be

The

lad

be at

this date.

'The Threatening Head" is a gloomy conclusion to this


thought more destructive than action. Pure negation as
demon. The physiognomy for the most part resigned.
April 1905.

610.

set of engravings.

War on

611.

intellect!

Lotmar, you served

me

ways part once again.

may

well say this, having gone through

well,

can

still

thank you for

shall forever

it,

it.

My

but

friend

now

our

see you quite clearly with the naked eye, over

there.
I

must

else

it

strive farther, or else

will turn into

And what
not

is

Enough

is

The

long run.

no longer

Or

else

my

alive.

must

shall lose myself.

is

what

is

The notion

and

is

not

many
Where it

typical of so

fidelity to inspiration.

so the Impressionist actually has

sheer materialist.

Or

is

nothing, and

the act.

fragmentariness which

And

Amidst such surroundings

knees, in a place where there

of this bitter laughter about

consequence of their

stop too.

is

must sink on

moved by

be deeply

615.

in this clean orderliness.

idyl.

recorded

settle in the

Sometime,

an

grow poor

shall

as

it

should be.

Impressionist works

work must
become more human than the
ends, the

of sober, practical craft ceases to be valid at any

cost.

616.

and B have long disputed over the wine bottle and hold contra-

dictory views.
ciliatingly

that

hands.

In their state of drunken sentimentality, they

toward each other. Each delivers

lands in A's position, and

in B's.

his speech with such

With

move

con-

eloquence

a surprised look, they shake

"The Aged Phoenix,"

618.

resemblance

one

in

One more

work of

of the

may be

thing

and behind

art,

it

The

art.

September 1906

form

is

autonomous.

is

about "The Comedian": the mask represents

said

hides man.

its

t0

something Homeric; there

as a simile, has

but otherwise

respect,

W 02

] une

173 /

The

lines of the

mask are roads to the


and that of man is

duality of the world of art

analysis

organic,

one of Johann Sebastian's compositions.

as in

quite delightful to elaborate such considerations in retrospect.

It is

In earlier versions of

Later

"Woman

and Beast" the

woman

suffered too

much.

gave her that not altogether disgusted expression.

Dissertations could be written about the significance of the "ugliness" of

my

figures.

621.

spent eight beautiful days in Oberhofen on the Thunersee with

almost

father,

all

of

Kar comes from


sprite of a cat, has

We

Week

Holy

chtiren, "to

one of

its

my

[Karwoche].

lament."

When

talkative days,

we

our Myz, the noble gray

say:

"You're

did a great deal of wandering about. Once, to

little

a chari!"

Gunten and Merligen,

then along the path to Siegriswil, then the road to Aeschlen and back to

Oberhofen by way of Schbnortli. Another time, by boat


forest to the Heiligschwendi rest

third time,

we walked

home and back

to

along the

Thun,

trail to

across the

Oberhofen.

Aare by boat) along the

to Scherzligen (crossing the

road to Gwatt, Einigen, Spiez, and back to Oberhofen by steamer. At Easter-

time

this lake

is

particularly attractive.

X's mother

623.

a creature not yet

is

dead but nonetheless already extin-

Her body lives, her spirit is no longer present. A


mentioned suddenly, after I had not heard of her for
guished.

is

,"

and one

is

literally startled at

not feeling well enough,

enough

624.
felt

living corpse.

hearing the word

won't go to Munich.

My

She

is

"My mother
"My mother is

years.
is.

mother doesn't

feel well

to be visited."

X. has become engaged to Y.Z. In Neuchatel

drawn

to him.

capable of this step.


instance, that

But we
I

all

noticed

how much

Y.

judged him wrongly, and didn't think him

said to myself,

W.

admires beauty so much, in

something might perhaps be done

for

him along

art, for

this line,

some

HI

174 / Diary

Now

day.

W.X.,
first

Z.

had

a person difficult to approach,

been taken by

order, has

To my

to

a simple

in

no way

even for his friends, a fortress of the

Russian student.

question about what he had meant

obstacles that stood in the


tire past,

but she was

a beautiful head, full of character,

woman.

beautiful

me, and

way

when speaking

have never spoken a word about what


to

my

and what

father,

this, in turn,

once had to come completely out of myself ...

my

mother's sickness means

means
It

me; and now

to

shook

me

all

for

to the depths."

After a pause he obviously tried to say more, but couldn't get


can't start

of the inner

of his engagement, he replied: "During the en-

out.

it

"No,

over again!" he exclaimed and, jumping up from his chair, ran

to the door.

who

strange person,

flees his friends

when

they show sympathy.

felt

apprehensive about him in the event this melancholia should grow worse

sometime.

From

April 24th to 28th,

was once again

laid up.

Always the same throat

trouble.

626.

It

is

quite an amusing experiment to look at a picture with only one

how

eye and to discover

the objects in the picture acquire

relief.

the case? Actually one-eyed vision doesn't throw things into

Why

is

this

relief; in spite

of

the compensation provided by experience, which the brain brings to such im-

we

perfect perception,
at

them with one

eye.

still

completely misjudge spatial things

Accordingly

surface, as such, of the picture;

and

we

this fact favors a delusion

forms that are represented. They acquire

627.

Basically

my

to Italy.

bed with

a 104

"Well, now,

known myself

that

not approve of

my

it

will resent

more

easily.

He seemed quite nasty to me one time: I


from my smallpox vaccination before my

fever

isn't this

pleasant?" he said ironically. As

would be anything but

pleasant.

also

knew

if

from being vaccinated?

it, if

If

only he had

said to

you have yourself vaccinated! That

was
trip

hadn't

that he did

vaccination. Hadn't he always until then used every

to keep his children

hand:

relief

produced by the

father has the finest qualities, but his parting remarks are

not always easy to swallow.


lying in

when we look

cannot apprehend with certainty the

me

means
before-

at least wouldn't

W 2

175 / l une

have been

And he would

illogical.

really

t0

September 1906

have had the right to triumph only

my vaccination had caught smallpox, while he without vaccination


had sat at my bedside in good health. Also, I was of age now and my engagement prevented me from taking any personal risks I pleased.
But otherwise my father is quite all right.
with

if I

While we were

628.

came

day drinking Pilsner, a

sitting at the inn the other

coughing heavily. In

in,

bad cough!" Another day

said:

"The good

man

fellow has a

heard loud yelling in the neighborhood: "What's

Look

the matter with that dog?

choking voice he

at

him barking

at

my

missus. Say, you dog, get

hold of yourself."

June 1905. Granted:

632.

cannot go on in
being,

me

this

won't drop

playful experiment
is

it all,

the other day as

way, for

am relatively satisfied with my etchings, but I


am not a specialist. Nevertheless, for the time

on porcelain had given

no longer the black

line,

from the graphic

me

hope tempted

blackened pane of

just as

it

glass.

the idea. Thus: the instrument

but the white one. The background

but night. Energy illuminates:


transition

but rather find the logical way out.

drew with the needle on

does in nature. This

But

to the pictorial stage.

is

not

light,

probably a

is

won't paint, out of

modesty and cautiousness!


So

now

new world

the motto

is,

"Let there be

light."

Working with white corresponds

633.

Thus

glide slowly over into the

of tonalities.

to painting in nature.

the very specific and strictly graphic realm of black energy,


that
ble.

am

This

entering a vast region where no proper orientation

terra incognita

is

As

am
is

now

leave

quite aware

at first possi-

mysterious indeed.

But the step forward must be taken. Perhaps the hand

of

mother nature,

now come much closer, will help me over many a rough spot.
The step forward must be taken, because it has long been preparing itself
in many aspects of my work. For these few etchings are far from representing
the entire production of the past two years. A great number of sketches did
not lend themselves to being fitted into that
of form.

Thev

lie in

wait.

strict,

abstractionist affirmation

176 / Diary III

am

begin logically with chaos,

ripe for the step forward.

at rest because

may,

at

But then

it is

the most natural

be chaos myself. This

on the contrary,

fore the white surface,


hesitant.

first,

had trained hard and thoroughly

It's

and squeezed

jolt

Then

the narrow confines of linear representation.


for

feel

the maternal hand. Be-

would often stand trembling and

gave myself a conscious

In so doing,

start.

is

my way

into

everything went quite well,

in that field.

convenient to have the right to be chaos to start with.

Nor

are the

first

much more

on

signs of light

pelling as black energies

on

The

leisurely way.

and begins where nature

this

black ground as vehemently com-

One

a white ground.

is

leaves

off.

The

effect

is

thus able to proceed in a

works as an opposing force

original blackness

that of rays of the rising sun

streaking the sides of a valley, with the rays gradually penetrating deeper as

the sun ascends.

The

last

dark corners are merely a residue.

All this stimulates certain ideas about technique:

Perhaps the compensation for

635.

many

bitter

hours

is

woodcut and lithography.


approaching.

In Beethoven's music, especially the late works, there are themes which

do not allow the inner

life

to pour itself out freely, but shape

contained song. In performing

it,

we must

whether the psychic content expressed concerns others or

own

sake.

personally find the

For, in the end,

636.

keep the

we

are alone

is

infinite spark

this earth,

from being

into a

self-

only there for

monologue form more and more


on

it

take great care to determine


its

attractive.

even in our love.

stifled

by the measure of law. Be-

ware! But do not quite leave this world behind, either. Imagine you are dead:
after

You

many
see a

years of exile

you are permitted to

lamppost and an old dog

cast a single glance earthward.

lifting his leg against

it.

You

are so

moved

that you cannot help sobbing.

637.

In ancient

and white
have seen

638.

tie,
it

set

Rome, emetics were


on

set

on the

table.

Now, clothed in tails


among the guests. I

chairs, they are neatly distributed

in artistic society.

Individuality

is

not an elementary sort of thing, but an organism. Ele-

177 / June 1902 to September 1906

mentary things of different


rate

sorts coexist in

them, the components would

die.

it,

My

inseparably. If one tried to sepaself,

for instance,

a dramatic

is

ensemble. Here a prophetic ancestor makes his appearance. Here a brutal hero

Here an alcoholic bon vivant argues with

shouts.
lyric

muse, chronically love-struck,

raises

a learned professor.

Here a

her eyes to heaven. Here papa steps

forward, uttering pedantic protests. Here the indulgent uncle intercedes. Here
the aunt babbles gossip. Here the
all

maid

giggles lasciviously.

with amazement, the sharpened pen in

wants to join the fun. "Pshtt!"


ble."

And

639.
plate.

cry,

"You

my

And

hand.

left

look upon

it

pregnant mother

You

don't belong here.

are divisi-

she fades out.

cut into a black background with a needle, on a 13

Then

pressed an unexposed photographic plate against

18 cm. glass

it

in the dark.

Then I exposed it briefly and was able to develop a photographic negative.


The prints made from it provide strikingly close equivalents of the original.
640.

More and more

selves

upon

arts are

my

parallels

between music and graphic

consciousness. Yet no analysis

temporal; this could be proved

easily.

them-

art force

successful. Certainly

is

At

both

Knirr's they rightly spoke

about the presentation of a picture, by which they meant something thoroughly temporal: the expressive motions of the brush, the genesis of the
Knirr
spirited

in

to

What

a refreshing

Morerot from Vaud; how, during one of those long, foggy stretches

November he got depressed. "Already three weeks


room and light lamp, so I believe the sun shines!"

641.
to the

An

oppressed, poor schoolboy's heart confessed

window away from

inkwell. His eyes

window

effect.

atmosphere of good fellowship there. High-

glass

were playing

wanted

down

there,

eyes that followed her.

But the

trees

to stray in the

open

air

his forehead against

happy the smile of

Happy

his oppressed,

were jealous, and hid his

longer would they hold Irene captive.


already been dipped.

it

cold.

No

sun.

to me. It drove

copy books, away from the pen dipped

his

and he knocked

it is

it.

go

him

in the

and strained against the

Happy

who
Happy his

the children

Irene, the lovely

girl.

poor schoolboy's heart.

eyes' sole earthly joy.

Time

ticks

and

ticks,

How much

and the pen has

178 / Diary III

PORTRAIT OF

MY FATHER,

1906, 23

179 / June 2902 to September 1906

And
filled

he confessed to

me

had seen

that he

with love and free of the uglv pimples.

him than

today's.

He knows

it is

his face in the mirror:

He knows

was

it

that a better lot awaits

And

out there in the distance.

the locomotive

whistles.

There

is

bliss,

not only above the

but also here on earth. There

stars,

will

be

women later, somewhere, in some country.


To these women he prays. Temples stand there, raised in honor of their sex.
And one shall come, who will not be just one, but the whole sex. "I bring
greetings from Irene," she will say. And her voice is music.

as

(Laokoon, chapter

Artist-martyrs of antiquity.

643.

but treated them with stern justice

lived in abject misery.

rooms, jackasses

And

Pyricus,

what was most

lighted in expressing

Pauson

faulty

who

They

and ugly

paragraph 3)

2,

the Greeks had not had their Pauson, their Pyricus.

if

whose low

did have them,


taste de-

man's appearance,

in

painted barber shops, dirty work-

with the zeal of a Dutch

artist,

as

if

such things in

nature had indeed great charm and were seldom seen, received the nickname

"Rhyparographer" (painter of
his

although the luxury-loving rich paid for

dirt),

works their weight in gold.

The

authorities themselves thought

not unworthy of their attention to restrain the

artist forcibly

it

within his true

The Theban law is well known which ordered him to make his models
more beautiful than they were and prescribed punishment for portraits that
made them uglier. It was not a law aimed at ignorant daubers, as is usually
sphere.

thought by commentators, even by Junius ("de pictura

."). It

condemned

the Greek ghezzi, the clever trick of getting a resemblance by emphasizing the
ugly features of a model, in a word: caricature.

The

644.

night before Wednesday,

Moilliet and Bloesch.

We

May

31st,

took the train to Paris with

arrived at half past ten in the morning, drove to

our hotel on the rue de l'ecole de Medecine in a cab. After that,


first

we took

walk to orientate ourselves. In the afternoon, to the Louvre. At night, bal

de nuit at Les Halles.


Ascension Day. Whistler retrospective. Pantheon

6.1.

(Puvis

de Cha-

vannes), walked across the Bois de Boulogne to Saint-Cloud. Back on the


Seine.

At

Italian.

night, to the Theatre Sarah Bernhardt: II Barbiere di Se\ilia in

180 / Diary III


6.2.

Luxembourg: Rodin,

Manet, Monet, Renoir. Louvre: Velas-

Puvis,

quez, Goya, Watteau, Fragonard, Millet. At night: the outer Boulevards,

back by way of Les Halles (toward morning)


6.3.

The Morgue. At

Comique, an opera
and

by Massenet.

The

Salon.

At

night:

Comedie

Franchise:

ne faut jurer de rien by A. de Musset.

II

Interrupted journey to Versailles (on account of the rain). In the

6.5.

afternoon, slept.

At

Corot. At night, in the Opera

Millet,

called Cherubin,

(Sunday). Luxembourg.

6.4.

Tartuffe,

6.6.

the Hotel de Ville, bad frescoes by Puvis de Cha-

Afternoon, the Louvre:

vannes.

At

night, Folies Bergeres

and the Boulevards. Quieter day.

Louvre: the collection of ancient sculpture. Salon National (better).

night, the outer boulevards, cabaret.


6.7.

Salon.
6.8.

Louvre, the old French painters. In the afternoon, back to the better

At

Grand Opera: Armide, by Gluck.


At night, ball at Bullier's.

night, at the

Jardin des Plantes.

6.9.

Started the day at half past twelve by having lunch. Then, to the

Louvre: Rembrandt and Frans Hals. Five o'clock

two others abandoned

me

tea.

At

half past

six,

the

for the first time, because they were going to see

Tristan.
6.10.

Luxembourg, back

Manet,

to

Sorbonne (Puvis de Chavannes).

etc.

Trolley to Montmartre, Sacre Coeur, panorama of the

direction of the Eiffel Tower.


to the Opera.

Armide

6.11. (Pentecost).

Belfort.

for the

6.13.

second time.

Gare Montparnasse. Omnibus along Boulevard

Trolley in the

Pantheon, monumental fountain by Carpeaux. Lion de

Opera Comique: Louise by Charpentier.


6.12. Morning in Versailles. In the evening, back
pia, disgusting

city.

sudden shower prevented the ascension. Cab

St.

Michel; at night,

in Paris,

Taverne d'Olym-

night club.

farewell visit to the Louvre.

Tea

at five o'clock.

At 7:40

p.m.,

departure for Bern.

645/49.

Main

impressions of the Luxembourg.

The

earlier

Hodler stems

from the ''Poor Fisherman" by Puvis de Chavannes. The color gray with
a mild color scheme.

coming over

Manet,

into the present.

starting with

Velasquez and Goya, gradually

Monet uneven because he

constantly pushes

ahead, but many-sided in compensation; Sisley refined! Renoir, the

facile,

181 / June 1902 to September 1906

and yet so

so close to trash

significant! Pissaro

mannerism, enticing and instructive example


Societe Nationale des Beaux-Arts; Zuloaga,

more

tart. Carriere, pictorial

for mastering tonalities.

"Mes

trois

cousines." Deep-

toned painting, hence the great effect achieved by jewelry, teeth,

and landscapes are well


Louvre:

Poussin,

etc.

Figures

related.

Claude Lorrain, particularly Watteau,

painter.

great

Fragonard uneven. Chardin monumental in small paintings.


Millet, ''Spring," superb landscape; important paintings, besides,

upper

floor:

Ingres. Corot, Courbet.

Frans

Hals.

do not quite understand Delacroix.

These pictures

are

in

excellent

condition

Rubens, almost no dimming). Only the portrait of Descartes

Rembrandt,

on the

2892, 2895, 2993, 2890 (the calmest).

(compared to
is

very yellow.

especially in his later years!

Raphael leaves

me

very cool. Titian has decayed, for the most part, into

uniform yellowness. Tintoretto

a great painter.

Veronese; Leonardo, some

magnificent works of his here. His pictures, too, have only been preserved
imperfectly, but since he does not have the

same tendency

to cultivate

warm

tones as Raphael or Titian, cool tones remain effective under the yellow
sheen.

Of

course everything

is

much

too dark.

pioneer in the handling of

tonalities.

In this illustrious

company

calligraphic. Velasquez, figures


I

far prefer

Diirer best holds his

own when

his

work

is

blocked out with pride and considerable elan.

Goya. Ravishing sonorities from gray to black; among them,

More intimate formats.


Coming away from Leonardo, you don't ask for much

flesh tones like delicate roses.

650.

The newspaper boys on

(Fingers raised:) ho-hol

/v

of a career anymore.

the run: "Enfin! La Paix! tout de

refrain

meme!"

from the cabaret

=
t

j(.,;)r/fjr-

i8z / Diary III


Moilliet was the darling of the cocottes, his nice face and childlike expres-

number of them. He was quite calm, let them talk with him
them just as easily. Along the way he mumbled a lot of nice things:
," and again: "at
got no more illusions about where we belong

sion lured any

and

left

"I've

home it's like this: only our Fido thinks, but he


Waltz heard at the Bal de Nuit:

y pil e^k,
Added

*^f#

doesn't talk."

0^

to this, the atmosphere of rotting fish, dust, tears, work, a horse

lying in the street, cocottes skipping rope, the incoming train with provisions
for

one day. The sleeping people along the

Bloesch attracted
other: "C'est

651.

little

un savant!"

The performance

his voice

was

All

got was a few faces

They warned each


made at me.

was excellent. At last an Almaviva,


Bonci would have sung the part much

of the Barber

like a violin.

The

little

the same! Rosina (Pacini) ravishing, not at


out.

wall.

attention from the cocottes.

all insipid,

youthful verve through-

Great vocal technique, The orchestra did not sound delicate enough.

Massenet: Cherubin, well manufactured music, but manufactured. Louise,


a contrived

Both performances at the Opera Comique


more for the skillful ensembles than for
Armide, which we heard twice, was a great event. First,

work of the purest

sort.

very accomplished, distinguished

outstanding

soloists.

183 / June 1902 to September 1906

man

this

Gluck. Then, the way

effortlessly.

it

was done, each part of the opera went

sense of style without any fumbling experimentation.

Not

the

individual will of a conductor. Total achievement. Fine ballets. Splendid

As

orchestra.

(baritone),

(Armide), Delmas

Fraulein Breval

(tenor),

Affre

soloists,

etc., etc.

similarly

impressive event was

the performance of Tartuffe at the

Comedie.

Sunny afternoon on the Boulevard, with

Final impression.

carriage to the railroad station,

beneath chestnut

trees

us riding in a

covered with red

blossoms.

Read: Andreiev, The Red Laughter. Lynkeus, Fantasies of a Realist.

652.

Not books

to

my

liking.

Keller

and Reiner

660.

July. Tilings are

Bought

in Berlin

Lucian

in a

French edition, much

do not want to exhibit

not quite so simple with "pure" art as

claimed. In the final analysis, a drawing simply

matter

how

execution

self-sufficient its

may

better!

my engravings.

be. It

is

dogmatically

is

no longer

is

a symbol,

a drawing,

no

and the more

profoundly the imaginary lines of projection meet higher dimensions, the


better. In this sense

We

shall never

yet intellect

and soul operate within us

Oscar Wilde: "All

661.

art

is

at

4a. 32

7.5/

4b,

artist as

the

in

dogma

defines him.

completely different dimensions.

once surface and symbol."

July. Position of the engravings in their frames.

from the top./ 2.32X43:

7.

be a pure

higher creatures are also mechanically produced children of God, and

X
8.

43:

5.8

cm./ 4b. 32

ditto./

3.43X43:

43: 6.9

cm./

5.

5.8

10.4

8.2/ 9. 6.00/ 11. 8.2/ Sequence for hanging:

1.

32

43: 7.5 cm.

cm. from the top./

from the top./


1, 2, 8,

5,

6.

8.5/

11, 10, 6, 3,

1, 4a, 9-

The

wonder whether I am now capable of expressing motion in engravings?


fear of making two lines run into each other in the process of etching is

painful. Aquatint?

662.

few days

in

Oberhofcn, among them a peaceful evening, a

evening (see No. 714).

real

184 / Diary III

Read: Balzac, La
(the "Princess" in

Max

Femme

de Trente Ans. Lermontov,

Hero

of

Our Time

Reichel, the violinist from America, was there. This drove us to play

quintets;

played second violin, since he

is

a professional.

fun at the composition by our brother the

it!).

major Quintet

is

better.

What

Another quartet session with

jurist.

He poked

an andante, the model of andantes!

a first-rate professional, concert master Pescy,

a very temperamental solo violinist (a gentleman from Szegedin).

nated with Lotmar on the second violin and the


a

show

bar,

of fake elegance

on the

he would have broken

With

664.

cello. If

Manet

he acted

alter-

Lewandowsky made
way on the horizontal

viola.

this

neck long ago.

his

his calligraphic line,

aspect of the ear.

a little

admit that Mozart's

Durer circumscribes the whole

realistic

elegantly brings out with the brush the pictorial

values corresponding to the play of light.

An

Represent yourself without minors and without

exercise as a joke:

the kind of a posteriori conclusions that you get from mirrors. Exactly as

you see

yourself, therefore

The

670.

without a head, which you do not

subject in itself

sions before the subject.

is

certainly dead.

The growing vogue

What

see.

counts are the impres-

of erotic subjects

is

not exclu-

French, but rather a preference for subjects which are especially likely

sively

to provoke impressions.

As

a result, the outer

form becomes extremely variable and moves along

the entire scale of temperaments. According to the mobility of the


finger,

The
The
673.

one might say


technical

means of representation vary

accordingly.

school of the old masters has certainly seen

The good Lewandowsky


who lives in

Dr. Frank Schulz,

675.

has sent
Berlin

me my

of him.

When

he

tries to

its

first

day.

customer, his colleague

W., Motzstrasse

Haller as landscapist in the Elfenau.

make fun

mdex

in this case.

catch

54,

ground

floor.

Boy swimmers come crawling to


them they hop into the water.

Haller soon accepts the situation and goes on mixing his pigments ardently

185 / June 1902 to September 1906

and

The boys begin

pasty.

heckling again. Haller darts a furtive glance at

the closest one, turns around lightning fast and daubs


full

him

a la

prima with

coup de pinceau.

had

If I

shell.

to paint a perfectly truthful self-portrait,

And

inside

it

would have

a kernel in a nut. This

work might

Photography was invented

677.

to be

my dear
parading. What

also

made

would show

clear to everyone

a peculiar

sit

like

be named: allegory of incrustation.

moment

at the right

warning against

as a

materialistic vision. Yes,

Alexander Reichel, what a funny kind of

learning you're

does "nature" count for here?

point

is

the law according to which "nature" functions and

how

The

it is

real

revealed

to the artist.

This you don't grasp, you imbecile; and yet this

One

story.

you

tells

and

as

you

all,

you

are quite all right.)

still

as this only

laid a perfectly

Then

drew

from the whole

far

normal asphalt base

in

doing

for etching

so.

on

tell

(Otherwise,

a zinc plate.

pleased with the needle, without exercising any caution,

and indeed even on blank surfaces with the


technical crime, as

is

because one doesn't dare to

one overestimates you enormously

680.

as

much

if

in

atonement, a

on, as one prefers). This

is

veil of

knife.

now

spread over this

aquatint (to be laid or sprayed

to prevent blurring

and

to lend the

blank

sur-

faces depth.

681.

"The law

one of

my

Today

that supports space"

this

should be the

have

still

our

at least

own

685.

by the

appropriate to

not reached that point; meanwhile, to the question:

"Do you like nature?" I answer: "Yes, my own!''


One does not lash what lies at a distance. The
must

title

future pictures!

be

flesh.

July.

a little bit

foibles that

we

ridicule

our own. Only then will the work be a part of

The garden must be weeded.

Lermontov: Rousseau's Confessions are

fact that

he read them to

his friends.

What

vitiated

from the outset

autobiographer can

feel

186 / Diary III

To

that this reproach doesn't touch him?!

might perhaps tone down the untruths


686.

got drunk, for the

think of

time in ages

first

it

as often as possible

a little.

was

really

drunk again. But

Only champagne, labeled Heidsieck. Mais ce


nest pas moi qui a payel In bright daylight, a smile on my lips, I wandered

very properly drunk this time.

home

in a

tuxedo and Bloesch's top hat. In bed

No

trace of worries, everything in order.

and

fall asleep! I

only

made one

to turn off the lamp. It

is

day,

little

again

You may

felt very,

roll

mistake when, out of old habit,

do not have to put out any

very good.

over without fears

light,

tried

said in

muted, solemn tones.


needed

few days more to get

rid of

my

smile,

which seemed stereotyped

like a ballerina's.

August.

689.

and singing

"I'll

get rid of

What

teacher.

he get

timbre of the voice of a certain lady,

Am

690.

God?

(are

you worthy of

Him

were not worthy of

More
one
out

its

who

many

that

it

is

great things in

sits

house

in a glass

the iron

first

grips.

falls

it

first

but

in the

me!

My head
May

you

throw you against the

in

an unbreakable

into madness. Stretches

person happening by.

The

mocks
raw material to work

Before, you were a model,

the ironic voice between serrated teeth, for me, you are
on.

something

not a lady.

be born to you. (Aside:) They also

ideas. After giving birth,

rips,

certain

has to hold an overflow of power.

hand through the window toward the

demon's claw

actually

they crucified.

Genius

realistically:

conceiving

it?)

It

dear, gentle father, the idealist

rid of?

have accumulated so

aches to the point of bursting.

want

my

says

it!!"

will

glass wall, so that

you remain stuck

there, pro-

(Then come the lovers of art and contemplate the


bleeding work from outside. Then come the photographers. "New art," it
jected

and

says in the

stuck.

newspaper the following day. The learned journals give

it

name

that ends in "ism.")

692.

Cigarettes can be lighted at Pecy's style of playing.

A demon

of the lowest sort disturbs

me and

wants to torment me. Stand-

187 / June 1902 to September 1906


ing behind me, he whispers to

me

about Gretchen's

in a persuasive tone

."
"Do you remember.
Your Opus One is something done

spirit.

evil

long since? Justify

this,

but not with

words.

am

"I

an old man,

Where

bridges?

scribed for you

to,

and

my

if

how,

keeps you going

struggle, like that of cats

autobiographer, the relationship

In

693.

more

my

the

(after a pause:)

The autobiography your

eyes, the engravings lie before

my

life.

myself, by doing something.

transformed them into

art.

So

now

prevent

masterpiece????

rationally,

and

surges

now ought

struggle

me

some

like

but have not yet

feelings,
I

am

the old

man who

off.

me

my

original talent. It

is

certainly not free, but

to yield to the inclination to underestimate

much

too impetuously;

fits

if

were to pursue

it.

this

Morematter

of depression alternate in a frightful way.

For the time being, a spectator's interest


an end

to

should not even think of the word "struggle." Thus furious

An

and awake.

completed Opus One,

to prove this to others, not to

have very definite

jump

from exploiting

still

as a

seem curious

have to struggle again, and chiefly against the inhibitions that

me

does not entitle

over,

me

For the others, therefore,

sinking fast and about to

697.

You broke

how far you will get and


between man and artist will shape

exactly behind me. For they already

chronicle taken from

this

bridges, but not the limits that are pre-

turn around to face him, but the apparition has vanished.)

(I

is

not successful." (Prose)

the curiosity to find out

is

time? (after a long pause:)

itself in

or

is

for your talent. (I reach for the sword.)

The demon: Defensive

What

deed

now? You break

in this process

autobiographical interest. Dreadful,

if

this

keeps

me

alive

were to become

in itself.

Vague

irony

is

rather widespread. Life not serious, art not gay.

certain hovering suspension of expression.

Perhaps

am making

things too hard for myself? Yesterday

have rejected The Portrait of Dorian Gray; today


yesterday it probably would have intoxicated me.

enjoy

it.

would

The day

still

before

188 / Diary III


Lily

698.
1

Trip to

Montreux, Villeneuve,

Spiez,

2 Leuk, Leukerbad,
3

St.

Maurice.

Gemmi, Schwarenbach

Gemmi, Schwarenbach,

(Lily rides up).

Kandersteg.

4 Oschinensee, Oschinenalp, Kandersteg.


5 Gasterental, Kandersteg (Blausee), Frutigen, Interlaken.
6 Brienz-Rothorn-Interlaken, Bern.

September. "Dear Herr Klee, the

699.

W., Kurfiirstendamm

lin

Direktor Stern (Berlin).

art critic

whom

128; the lady

With

is

named

E. Heilbut, Ber-

you wish to apply

best regards, your devoted Felix

to,

Frau

Lewandow-

sky."

Demon

700.
it

errs

692

stirring again.

is

You must

pray: let

one's throat,

702.

you stupid smiler

all.

way because

Terrible, this: all art

is

Further readings: Turgeniev,

Michelangelo. Rufin,
of the last,

it

was foreign to me, but perhaps true

Waves

of Spring;

Julia.

Hauptmann,

Merimee, Colomba. Lyn-

From October

21st to 30th,

youth on the mouth ere the hour

The Devils

Part,

and Klose's

llsebill

work

a dramatic

The Barber

of

Herod and Mariamne,


De Profundis. Out

Elga. Wilde,

copied the passage about Hamlet.

October.

707.

at

useless.

keus, Fantasies of a Realist, rejected them. Hebbel,

kiss

jumps

copied the foreword to Dorian Gray. Did the same for other thoughts

of Oscar Wilde. In a
after

soul forget that

red laughterinto beast that


pink smiling (Lindau).

only pain were to turn you

If

my

(Neuchatel).

was

The
in

Munich

unofficially, to

Bagdad (Mottl), The Tales

Saw
Hoffmann

of

(Mottl), Adam's Doll, Die Fledermaus. Klose

symphony

that

tells

insistent.

dies. But also for other reasons.

all.

The

calls his

orchestra's performance

much could be heard from the figures on


At a Kaim concert Schneevogt conducted with a
Liszt's Faust Symphony, Wagner and Berlioz. Ludwig

superb; not

finale too

was

the stage.
certain elegant vigor

Hess, the tenor, sang

189 / June 1902 to September 1906


solos.

heard in a main rehearsal parts of Mass in

minor by Johann Sebas-

tian (Mottl).

Rops (Les Diaboliques)

le

sphinx,

des cartes d'une partie de whist,

le

bonheur dans

plus bel

le

le

crime,

le

dessous

amour de Don Juan, and many

other things!

709.

(Abridged:)

friendly

way

in

"Dear Professor Heilbut,

for the time being.


in

Berlin.

thank you for the

which you wrote me. Perhaps these indications

am

will suffice

twenty-five years old, was born near Bern, raised

Bern (graduated from high school,

Three years

in the humanities).

in

Rome. Then worked for two


years without anything to show for it. In the summer of 1903, the first
worthwhile work (engraving). Since my trip to Paris this summer a new
period. Your proposal to publish one of the engravings in Cassirer's periodical
Munich, with Knirr and Stuck.

naturally

most welcome.

do 'The Virgin

710.

Maybe

am

save myself quickly.

though

711.

Two

in the Tree.'

may want

winter in

works would be better. In any

With

case, please

respectful regards, Paul Klee."

inclined to perdition, but

am

also inclined always to

don't want anything to grow too big for me, even

to experience

it.

simply don't want

it.

must be

saved.

Musical events: an organ concert of particular importance was given

by the Parisian Mahaut. The program was exclusively devoted


Franck.

1.

Fantaisie

majeur,

la

Panis angelicus (song),

2.

5., 6., 7.,

de Var change (de Redemption)

Cantabile in E,

chorale in C, in

Cesar

G minor, in

minor.

8.

4.

Air

At the second symphony concert, we more or


Schubert's Great

3.

to

Piece heroique (!),

major Symphony and

less

played our

way through

romantic overture by Thuille.

Rehberg, a pianist from Geneva, played the Piano Concerto by

Hermann

Gotz.

At an organ

recital

by the good Herr Pfyffer

in St. Imier,

appeared

as

him) and played the

minor Sonata by Tartini and the

Adagio from Mozart's Violin Concerto

in

A;

soloist (to please

position for voice.

also, violin obligatos to a

com-

HI

190 / Diary

We
F

played quartets with Jahn; Schubert's

minor; another time, clarinet quintets with

November.

712.

burgher.

dreamed

had

clarinetist Jahnisch.

mediocre

to give the funeral oration of a

reconstruct approximately what

major and Beethoven's

first

(measured words,

said there

humble tone)

The

An

himself.

and an indolent fellow

ear,

an all-too-human

ing talk uttered by kindred

ear, gladly

spirits.

But he did

you mourners. R.

713/14.

his

what

is

good moment

Our

city's

we

women! He

is

enough

flatter-

listened

example

of an

is:

to raise

them

to the

in

Oberhofen.

No

intellect,

The

no

An

ethics.

same

for

level in

observer above

unsplit instant in

first

orchestra has improved a bit with the years.


it

two

first

flutes,

violins,

twelve second violins,

two oboes, two

clarinets,

life.

good con-

six

violas,

six

two bassoons; two

trumpets, four horns, four trombones, two drummers, one harp

two musicians. For compositions requiring

my

symphony

into a really usable instrument. In the

are twelve

cellos, five basses;

an end by

above.

ductor might shape


orchestra

anyway, but

finds

conveys to the heart the

which

the world or a child in the world's totality.

718.

him never

in the eleventh grade: either persevere

as a citizen,

Really to love animals, that

relation to

man, now dead,


life

(Muted thunder above.)

P.

I.

duty

like

this

clung to

Yes, especially by

and forgot the motto he had learned


or quit.

He

can no longer be altered now.

in,

rather out of habit,

which

excess of hope, later the lack of despair

indulged

a large orchestra,

we

in

all, sixty-

call in rein-

forcements from Basel or Zurich.

721.

The

"I've

hung

little

bourgeois

who

him. That's

why he

feels well there,

doesn't whistle.

and he

just looks

will certainly start whistling.

722.

lives

on the

the bird in the back of the room.

witty worker to a

He

is

floor below, across the hall:

was too warm

for

too close to the sunshine.

He

Up

there

it

out without thinking. In the back, he

I'm going to whistle for him tomorrow."

woman

gathering bits of

wood on

the building-

191 / June 1902 to September 1906

site:

"Pick up the stones too, they also burn!" She: "Not really?" He: "Sure!

You

simply have to

let

them

up on the Sangwag" (Both

"Not

dry!" She:

strictly

really?"

He:

"I

found that out

accurate [transcriptions in Swiss dialect].)

In Munich, last time, a very nice interlude took place.

724.

sat in a res-

taurant having dinner and waiting for Lily with greater longing than usual.
Just then a

man came

from me.

told him:

and

my

to

my

table

skeptical,

Farewell, this present

that

You were
as

soon

life

take

my

it

leading.

and

Bamberg

to fifteen pfennig,

necessary, to pay for

if

and yet

am

the fare to

now amounts

sponge from,

distinguished. Pure spirit. Quiet

as

bum

tried to

am just wondering who to


He thereupon left, rather

dinner.

725.

and

ready cash right

was

You

my

true.

can't remain so.

solitary. Farewell,

my

honor,

step in public.

first

December. True anecdotes. Dr. Schultz and Lewandowsky, having

726.

drunk a

were walking home. The (recent) earthquake sent both of them

lot,

sprawling.

They apologized

politely to each other.

At the Meitschimarit (Maidens' Market),

saw four

men

leave a brothel

and, to express their appreciation, strike up a touching vocal quartet.

had

Lily

writing,

One who,
It

young

to help a

lady, a cook,

who was ashamed

by carrying on her love correspondence

must be

midst of the sharpest pain, grows a wild beast's jaws.

in the
a

of her poor hand-

for her.

kind of shipwreck

when someone

old and

is

still

grows excited

about something.

730.

At Christmas,

Zurich.

We

visited Lily for

two weeks.

spent a day in Oberhofen.

While

had picked her up

in

was fishing there, some

Silly! The fishes are down at the bottom!"


we were starved for it. Time and again too at
Professor Lotmar's. There we played the A major Trio by Brahms and
Beethoven's Trio op. 70, No. 2. Once as I was plaving, among other works,

urchins called to me: "Mister

We

played music as

Mozart's Concerto in
Dr. Voltz listened.

if

major, painters Brack and Cardinaux and zoologist

had

Violin and Piano Sonata in

sudden insight into the meaning of Beethoven's

minor.

192 / Diary

HI

symphony concert we played Beethoven's Eighth and


1. Kreisler, a most wonderful violinist, played Beethoven's Violin Concerto and the Devil's Sonata by Tartini.
729

At the

[sic].

third

the Leonore Overture No.

Read: Meier-Graefe, The Bocklin Case, Manet and his

733.

du Mai

Bau-

Circle,

At the theater we saw a comedy by Shaw: Heroes,


which was very entertaining. Klinger, Painting and Drawing, of very doubtdelaire, Fleurs

ful value.
tiful,

As

which

is

if

only the beautiful subject were acceptable in

perhaps inseparable from

all

tied to the subject,

this

way and

in

no other does

have to

sorry to

ency,

tell

you that

on account of the

my

subjects,

art

it.

Professor Heilbut writes from Berlin: "Dear Herr Klee,

735.

beau-

not after

but to the pictorial representation. In

overcome the ugly without avoiding

The

art!

art, is

am

extremely

publisher, Cassirer, for reasons of expedi-

cannot bring himself to publish one of the

engravings in the magazine.


I

now

intend to write something about you in a highly esteemed Berlin

newspaper (did not happen).

you and induce some

collection of engravings. In this

with

me

for the

forth that

hope that

owner

art gallery

hope

this will focus

to ask

you to

let

some attention on
him exhibit your

propose that you leave the engravings

time being, in order to avoid the transportation back and

would become necessary otherwise. Respectfully

yours, E. Heil-

but." 12.20.1905.

736.

cause

wrote

"My

my

we

against

it

in the past,
it

If I

but

a secret

irrevocable fact.
it

hear from Lily that you are annoyed be-

revealed our engagement to our friends.

keep

sible to

about

future father-in-law, against his will, a mollifying letter:

dear Herr Medizinalrat:

We

beforehand,

don't understand

now.

And

so

it

was

how you

etc.

had not written mildly

head when she returned

to

With

can

that you were

still

think

it

pos-

we

did not inform you

best regards, yours truly, Paul Klee."

like this, the

Munich.

know

best after all for us to reveal the

only regret that in doing so


etc.,

blame would have

When we

fallen

are married next

on

Lily's

summer he

IM 2

193 / J une

have to swallow a

will

moon was

Tonight the

737.

wonder, with

this raging

stood

still.

The

stood

still.

Don't

hoven

much more

bitter pill.

asked sarcastically about the

politely,

This time he answered quite

new household's means

No

brain has evaporated.

With

of subsistence.

that actually portended tears.

pearl

windy weather. At one point

yield, self!

September 1906

was

it

as

No

the heart

if

thought, except for the heart that

you, the world would crumble,

and Beet-

through you!

lives

1906
January. Lily celebrated Christmas and the

743.

stayed on

an
of

till

January 7th.

all-out bourgeois
.

but

,"

No

German

New

Year with us and

doubt our celebration was more modest than


Christmas, with specified

gifts

"to the value

was cordial and peaceful instead.

it

Drawing and painting on

me

glass gives

sorts

all

of little pleasures.

sentimental lady, with hypertrophied bosom, accompanied by a tiny dog,

A
is

completed.

At the theater there was


as guest artist)

Carmen

a really outstanding

to be admired.

(with Frau

had never seen the primitively

nature of this unique character so charmingly embodied.


people, in contrast, were like well-behaved dolls; only
bit carried

away

at the

end by

this beautiful beast of a

riage of Figaro the provincial actors

own

again;

still

and musical

Thiirlings liked

it,

only the overture was


I

concede

longer feel the tone of light comedy.


greater precision

and

wind instruments

it

don't just

travel

The

little

Jose was

local

a little

woman. In The Mar-

dilettantes were

on

their

they couldn't completely mangle this incredible work. Even

the rather sloppy execution,

When

Don

Gay

instinctive

comes

whole shade

at the

still

would

faster

end might sound

to Mozart, there

is

too fast for him. Considering

his point,

still,

but then you would no

like to

like laughter

no substitute

mean Herr Geheimrath von

hear

for

Possart. This

even to Bern, where he started his career.

it

played with

so that the laughter of the

And he

Munich!!

Munich. By

man,
did

after

come

all,

this,

can

to Bern.

194 / Diary

But the

UI

entire

symphony concert took

its

cue from Munich. Overture to

Don

Faust, Venusberg Music. Love scene from Feuersnot and

Richard Strauss. The Witches' Song with the music by

man was

bewitchingly amiable at rehearsal; everybody was swept

by him. "Brother Medardus became old and weak." In what


fashion he said

Juan by

Schillings.

The

old

off his feet

truly Possartian

it!

read a unique book: Candide by Voltaire. Three exclamation points.

Then
Julie

again Strindberg's eleven one-act plays and his writings about Miss

and the modern drama. Then Taine, La philosophic de

No one has to get ironical about me, I see


dreamed that I beat a young man to death and

to that myself.

744/45.
I

ape.

The man was

the worse for him,

furious about
I

it:

tart.

called the dying

one an

wasn't he breathing his last breath? All

answered; then his evolution cannot continue!

Oh, the overfed bourgeoisie!

Democracy with its semi-civilization sincerely cherishes junk. The


power should be spiritual. But the power of the majority is material.
When these worlds meet occasionally, it is pure coincidence.
In Switzerland the people ought to be honest and prohibit art by law.
After all, the most honored citizens never moved on this level. Here are

747.

artist's

the real semi-barbarians.

no

And

the masses believe the country fathers because

real society of artists exists of a sort that

The 999

creators of trash

Science

is

better

off.

still

But the worst

to concern itself with art.

might

attract public attention.

love to eat their patrons' bread.


state of affairs

Soon the time

will

is

come

when

science begins

to leave Switzerland

forever.

748.

Dream.

flew

home, where the beginning

ing and chewing of fingers.


freed me.

Then

lies.

It started

with brood-

smelled or tasted something.

was completely freed at once and melted away

The

scent

like a piece of

sugar in water.

My
it

heart too was involved;

it

was blown up to inordinate

had been far too large for a long time, now


But not a trace of oppression. It was

size.

borne to places where one no longer seeks voluptuousness.

195 / J"" e 1902 to September 1906

MASCULINE HEAD, GYPSY TYPE, 1906, 4

196 / Diary III


delegation were to

If a

artist gratefully
I

come

was there where the beginning

which means, so

me now and bow

lies. I

solemnly before the

would not be surprised much. For

was with

my

adored

Madame Monad,

to speak, being fruitful.

Why, they ask, must


Tapeworm had to be

Doctors are witty people.

749.

anus operated on? Doctor

his

to

pointing to his works,

Professor Sahli have

pulled out, they an-

swered.

750.

February.

New

works on

drawing from nature, stepping,

glass:

all

"A

Girl Writing,"

white, out of a

after

pencil-

fish, etc.

Played music at the Zionist Student Association: Schubert's String Quartet


in

minor, with the good Jahn as

Acquired

violinist.

a Testore violin of the year 1712, got rid of the old,

revarnished Mittenwalder.

One

falls

in love with violins.

charmingly

But when they

commit suicide. That's convenient.


At the symphony concert we played the excellent symphony by Cesar
Franck, Berlioz' Cellini Overture, and Liszt's Mephisto Waltz. Baritone

are jilted, they don't

Louis Frohlich from Paris sang splendidly, especially the Mephisto Serenade

from The Damnation of Faust.


This time I just read world literature. Rabelais, Gargantua and Pantagruel.
Moliere, Les Fourberies de Scapin and

mann, Zinnober and


753.

February.

Le malade imaginaire and, by

Hoff-

Phantasiestiicke.

The hybrid blossom

is

an appropriate symbol for a good

marriage.

A
of

bon mot overheard

new

in the arcades of Bern:

shoes in his head; that's

why

he's carrying

"He must be wearing a pair


it so stiff." The Allemannic

bear doesn't want to lag behind the other animals on the Allemannic scutcheon.

756.

By no means!
February 1906. Since

practice, because

my

last

works,

Now my

much

further in

style in the

immediate

have gone

have succeeded in maintaining

my

may

enter

speaking of things like the "Little Garden Picture," on

glass.

presence of nature.

struggling

is

over.

life

now.

am

1" ^02

197 /

Your head

My

757.

ceeded
is

tower with lenses where light rays dance.

is

work

If

"nature" into

sometime
I'll

just

my

style.

are separated

by days or moments.

have to go hunting,

lie

in wait,

wonder whether

way

first.

shall ever get as far in the

strike the best

realm of color? At any

another limitation has been broken, and, at that, the heaviest,

still

hardest limitation there

my

well with
for Lily

and

not have to be interrupted then, never again.

will

Naturally a certain dualism will be unavoidable at

rate,

have suc-

of "study"

should again be unable to express myself on an empty

know how. Production


I

lively. I

The notion

Everything shall be Klee, regardless of whether impres-

and representation

stomach,

grow considerably more

in the studio will

in directly transposing

a thing of the past.

sion

September 1906

to

it

for

an

This improvement

artist.

It will

be good to

jibes

long

don't know;

am

just

wonderfully

live in a large city,

be good to leave her parents' house. Both of us

will

how

work. For

is

plans for marriage.

will

and

simply

not to be evaluated by bourgeois

standards.
It

would be shortsighted

wreck eventually. As long

And
758.

will

to set a time limit, so as to explain the ship-

as

work, there certainly will be a right to hope.

work!

March. For

my

kind of composition,

it

is

essential that the dishar-

monies (profane imponderables, defects or roughnesses)

in the values

be

brought back into equilibrium by counterweights, and that the harmony


regained in this

In category

puppet drawn

At the

fifth

way not be wanly

beautiful but strong.

(without nature) a good work on

glass,

"Marionettes."

The

in black, the strings in purple.

symphony concert we played Borodin's Second Symphony

the main work.

The

as

blind pianist Fabozzi played Chopin's Concerto and

various solo works.

Shortly after,

we played

Berlioz' Cellini Overture.

the same

symphony

The wonderful

guest soloist. (Violin Concerto by Brahms,

and

solo pieces

by Bach, Sarabande

From Neuchatel

in

Neuchatel, and besides,

violinist

Capet, from Paris, was

Album Page by Richard Wagner,

et double,

Bourree

et double.)

traveled across the Jura to Basel to hear the

Joachim

198 / Diary III

Quartet. Mozart's E-flat major, Beethoven's

op. 130.

lucky coincidence enabled

me

minor

French Impressionist paintings. Simon, Carriere,


a Degas, etc.,

and

room devoted

Renoirs, four Monets,

five

to Rodin.

In Bern, Verdi's Othello (love purified of jealousy by death

music expresses

fully the

because

this at the end!)

known

hadn't

emanates from

One

her.

To

be

sure,

The

he were

Wedekind was

coloratura

The Berner Bund put on Oenone,


if

how beautiimpressed me,

it

unattractive as an actress, something inferior

is

celebrates one's native writer,

natural.

was performed;

the work before.

guest artist in the Barber. She

and B major

op. 18

become acquainted with good

to

drama by

and no one can object

a prophet, the local

to

it.

Grillparzer.
It is so

very

temples would close before

him.

March.

759.

nice anecdote

To

a high-school student.

had

to shit

on the handle of

graders raised

that

it

Mimu

would be more

position

still

survives about the days

punish a teacher,

practical to

it

Two

strong twelfth-

in a

more comfortable

to the ordained place. But Haller

commonplace. He had no

graders: the sacredness of the act

Haller was

But then Thiessing suggested

produce the coating

and then somehow to transplant

when

was decided that somebody

door "before sunrise."

his

to the proper height.

rejected this procedure as too

it

pity for the twelfth-

was to inspire them with the necessary

strength.

To emphasize

only the beautiful seems to

system that only concerns

itself

760. Ingenious glass-pane technique:

tempera,

if

me

to

be

1.

it

mathematical

cover the plate evenly with white

need be by spraying on a diluted mixture;

scratch the drawing into

like a

with positive numbers.

with the needle;

3. fix it; 4.

2.

after

it

has dried,

cover the back with

black or colored areas.

The
The

trained

hand often knows

far

more than the head.

compositional harmony gains character by dissonant values (rough-

nesses, imperfections),

which are brought back into equilibrium by means

of counterweights.

761.

poet!

Wishest thou

to describe the rotten air of a grave,

and

art

199 / l^ne

thou without the inspiration that

by

sniffing

crimson

He

sits

am

down without

at her in

He

September 1906

Then buy

batting an eye.

me

urges

My

to

camembert:

Irritated, she closes the

moments

In our dreams

of our

and made us momentarily

life

helpless.

great impressions of times

sit

bench,

down.

at the

made

all

pretend

sitting attitude gradually

me, the magician's daughter stands

embarrassment.

in his garden.

more unabashedly from behind the

the

The

magician

visiting a

roses, stands there. Please!

painful. Facing

all

so needful for it?

is

to

from time to time, thou wilt succeed.

it

Dream:

762.

^02

of
to.

becomes

window;

smile

window, but observes

me

curtains.

often recur which have surprised us

They

are mostly trifling occurrences.

when one has

exercised self-control remain at

a distance.

With

763.

Bloesch,

took the Neuenburg train

secondary line to Sugiez.

electrified,

(Mont

lacherberg

Vuilly); from

burg can be seen,

as well as

its

From

had

lunch

Motier.

in

top, the

snow clouds

was

sailed

feel closer to

sky.

We

the most beautiful,

flower-strewn spring landscape over to the sedate village of


I

and the

somber day, swept by

through the blue

Then we wandered through

took the "Direct" train home.

Ins,

part of the Bielersee. Fine walk through

vineyards, under warlike cannonades of hail. It


a north wind. Rhythmically,

far as

as

we went to see the Wistenlakes of Murten and Neuen-

there

Giimmenen, then

the lake country than to the

Alpine regions.

764.

The

etchings

now

are to be assembled in a single, large

frame for

the Sezession in Munich. Otherwise the jurors might pick the collection

frame in Munich;

apart. Lily ordered the

gin in a Tree";

Two Men";
Phoenix";

7.

10.

"Woman

this

way we

shall save the cost

a Wing"; 3. "Vir"Comedian"
Charm"; 6. "The
"Feminine
(copper);
4.
5.
"The Monarchist"; 8. "The New Perseus"; 9. "The Aged

of transportation.

1.

and Beast";

2.

"Hero with

"Threatening Head."

For Professor Stuck,

am

assembling a portfolio of separate printings of

the same plates, so he will be prepared and perhaps will put in a good
for

me.

If

not Berlin, then at least Munich!

believe

it

will

work

out.

word

200 / Diary

HI

April. Trip to Berlin

765.

and back by way of

Kassel, Frankfurt-am-Main,

and Karlsruhe.
Sunday,

home
way

4.8.

Bloesch and

where we had dinner at the


That same night we traveled on by
Weimar, Halle. Monday, 4.9. Arrival in

went

to Basel,

of Louis Moilliet's brother-in-law.

of Frankfurt, Fulda, Erfurt,

Berlin at 2.40 p.m. Jonas Frankel, Bloesch's friend in his student days, picked
us

up

at

Anhalter Station. Soon we found a private room in the vicinity

(Kothener Strasse) and were able to take our

first

exploratory walk. Pots-

darner Platz, Leipziger Strasse, Friedrichstrasse, Linden, the Palace of His

Majesty, museums, the Brandenburg Gate, Wertheim.

Museum

Tuesday, 4.10. At the Kaiser-Friedrich


a

until three o'clock.

Had

meal somewhere or other, mediocre. Linden, Reichstag Building, Bismarck

monument (!), Siegesallee (!!). In the Tiergarten, the Kaiser rode by theatrically. Took the underground from the Tiergarten to Potsdam Station.
Sudden decision to go to the Comic Opera. Asked a coachman for directions,
jumped on

home

at

a bus. Marriage of Figaro. Later, dinner

two

Costumes

in the

and then

to a cafe.

Back

morning. Figaro had been staged very cleverly by Gregor.

by Walser. The musical part was

in the style of the Revolution

not as good as in Munich.

The

director caused a disturbing interruption in

the last act when, for the sake of atmosphere, he had nightingales twitter.
I

was particularly receptive

time hearing the magnificent things that

this

low "Engel verzeih mir." This


pressed so

much more

Wednesday,

4.11.

is

fol-

the very highest level of ethos, only ex-

economically than in Fidelio.

To

the Centennial Exhibition

(National Gallery).

Paid particular attention to Feuerbach, Marees, Leibl, Triibner, Menzel,

and Liebermann. Empire and Biedermeier did not exactly appeal to me.
Lunch at one o'clock. Then to the Pergamum Museum, where we suffered
a great deal

from the

(Aschinger).

Then

first

storm burst.

blackbird sang with touching idealism.


so

much

that

we went

was even better than


as

Thirst drove us into a

sultry weather.

the year's

We

to see Donizetti's

yesterday's. Fraulein

On

tea

shop

the Potsdam Station a

had enjoyed the Comic Opera

Don

Pasquale.

The performance

Francillo-Kaufmann we recognized

an old acquaintance from the Hoftheater in Munich. She looked most

lovely,

and the director had taught her how to

act.

201 / June 1902 to September 1906

NUDE STUDY

IN

THE ART SCHOOL, 1906, 30

LLiiliJ
S7<* Jo

HI

202 / Diary

Went to the Kaiser-Friedrich Museum


New Theater, where the Midsummer

Thursday, 4.12.
time.

At

for the second

Night's Dream,

night, to the

staged by Reinhardt, was playing. Afterward a friend of Louis Moilliet

who

music with Humperdinck invited us to an excellent meal and to

studies

nocturnal automobile drive through the Tiergarten.

until four in

It lasted

the morning.
Friday, 4.13.
I

paid a

promise.

(Good Friday)

visit to

my

pleasant

and agreed that

quiet day, with a long siesta.

he doesn't keep

very sympathetic

with a slight nose defect.

many

his

word

illustrations (by

and he

will

He was

city.

Gave me

me

be able to send

when he has some good news to tell me I


handsome biography of Goya instead. At seven o'clock I went
is

home

of

expecting,

my

and

Saturday, 4.14.

Museum. At

first

so

is

buyer, Schultz.

he

namely,

He

keep his

to

handsome

Loga), a kind of

gravings only

at the

five o'clock

man

was right to move to a large

At

him

biography of Goya with


If

Professor Heilbut in hopes of inciting

collateral.

back the en-

shall

to

have the

have dinner

has a comfortable place. His wife

patients.

Morning at the Zoo. In the afternoon, at the Ethnic


went to the Lessing Theater, where Rosmersholm was

night,

being given, with Triesch, Reicher, and Bassermann.

Sunday, 4.15. In the morning, went to see the parade. At night, to the

German
Portia:

Theater, where Reinhardt has staged

Sorma. Shylock: Schildkraut. The

the best theater performances

sets

The Merchant
by Corinth.

It

of Venice.

was one of

have ever seen in Germany. Oddly enough,

the Berliners don't applaud much.

Monday, 4.16. I took leave of the country's capital,


mark meals (bread and mustard free), its bedbugs, and
their little

amusements.

Berlin? After

The
lake),

all, it is

Why

four o'clock

its

theaters,

its

one-

nice people with

does one never hear anything but insults about

really a very pleasant city!

and went through Potsdam, Brandenburg (on a


Lily and I met happily in Kreiensen. At

train left at 8:35

Magdeburg,

its

etc.

we reached

At 1:46
Kassel.

Bloesch had wanted to stay on for a

little

while in Berlin and to join us

later.

766.

Kassel. Tuesday, 4.17.

museum. After lunch, we


Wilhelmshohe.

During the morning,

at

the extraordinary

rested until five o'clock. In the evening,

we

visited

203 /

Wednesday,

He had

and looked

We

of

it.

traveled

visited the

We

night, "a soldier pressed against

all

Museum

Rembrandts. After lunch we


Thursday, 4.19.

again, with

and

I)

at 9:40 a.m. for

Meanwhile,

Lily paid a call at the Schwanallee.

at this fraternity students' hangout. Besides, the

my

breast,"

outstanding collection

its

through the well-scrubbed

strolled

(Lily

left

September 1906

t0

morning Bloesch turned up while we were

4.18. Early in the

having coffee.

W 2

J une

city.

Marburg, where

somewhat ill-humored

felt

weather gradually became

quite rainy.

At

five o'clock in

again to

garden

visit

we

the afternoon

Friday, 4.20. Spent the

morning

arrived in Frankfurt-am-Main.

at the Stadel Gallery.

the Meunier retrospective. Afterward

Bloesch joined us

we went

palm

to the

as usual.

Saturday, 4.21. Again to the Stadel Gallery, then to the


to the Opera,

where Titus was given

Sunday, 4.22.

We made an excursion to

walk to the Neroberg, with

Monday,

a distinctly

4.23.

We

its

Zoo and

at night

mediocre performance.

Wiesbaden and took the

beautiful

fine view.

Goethe House and began

visited the

to think with

melancholy about having to take leave of each other.


Tuesday, 4.24.

We

Munich

parted at 6:20 a.m. Lily's train to

left at 6:30.

At nine o'clock in the morning I arrived in Karlsruhe. Had breakfast in


some insipid establishment or other and set out for the Kunsthalle. Here
I

saw the celebrated Griinewald, w hich frightened me, and Feuerbach's


r

"Last Supper," which again


at noon.

me

left

remember where. At 6:22

don't

a little cold.

arrived there at four o'clock


I

The

and devoured

train for Basel left

good Swiss meal,

and

was already back on the

train,

reached Bern at nine o'clock in the evening.

Concerts in Bern. 6th

767.

and the Overture

Don

to Alceste

Symphony

concert: Haydn's

by Gluck. Ludwig Hess sang

major Symphony
a tenor aria

Giovanni and many songs, among them Schubert's "Sei mir

from

gegriisst,"

which he interpreted charminglv.

The

choral societies performed

fairly operatic oratorio.

An

alto,

II

Paradiso Perduto by Enrico Bossi, a

Frau Kraus-Osborne, sang quite beautifully.

There were about eighty of us musicians. At the Theater


as guest artist

philistines

and had the misfortune

commented:

to

a tenor

become completely

appeared

hoarse.

Two

204 / Diary III

"What

1:

that fellow needs

is

"Why, then

bear's dung." 2:

come

he's

to

the right place!"

My

best reading was of course Loga's biography of Goya, which Professor

Heilbut had so innocently given me.

768.

May.

work

would have

it,

trouble: but

book,

Don

it

trip

many

a great

spent before one realizes

main

from nature, partly

feverishly

bent on showing that the

it.

had taken was

difficulties

crop up. In this

Goya hovers around me;

must be overcome.

Quijote de

la

mancia. Also, a bit of Ibsen,

770.

In our garden

Rome

lavish pious attention

to

me

that probably
in

letters,

my

were

is

the

favorite

and Chekov,

particularly.

on the bergamots that

and replant them by making

if I

Of course, as luck
way the month is

once again read

whose somewhat brutal wit does not appeal

back from

in the garden, as

profitable.

a strong

brought

branch grow inde-

pendently. This procedure also provides a neat experiment in the field of


capillary action.

Plant with two branches a and b;

B Branch

After

has struck roots at this point,

The new

it

is

bent

down and

fastened to the ground by


it is

plant bl/bll grows independently; from

of the sap in branch bl

is

reversed.

its

middle.

severed from branch

now

a.

on, the circulation

205 / June 1902 to September 1906

The people

772.

they

Bern

of

more than

are a bit slow; they probably think

they certainly would have shouted something up to "Knie"

say, or else

high rope, as he was making the following home-spun speech up


"The performance will last an hour and a half. For this hard period
of work we are forced to demand a fee of at least twenty to thirty centimes.
Ever)- sort of work must be paid, and I know that none of you would work

on

his

there:

an hour and a half

"Now up on

for thirty centimes."

the highest rope! For

of ten to twenty centimes!

am

this,

we must
none

sure that

of

ask for an additional

sum

you would do such

risky

work!"

(German clowns

Am

June.

773.

are far

from being

this witty.)

working almost feverishly

sultry weather. Hesitation

between

Munich and

engravings exhibited in

in spite of great heat

and very

so to speak, classical style of the

the,

a certain loosened style

such as the

Impressionists display.

At the beginning

of the

month,

few days

in

Thun. Once Heinz Lotmar

came; we took the walk from Spiez to Leissigen. In Bern


with Olga
cisely,

at

my

Naturally on a Saturday,

Selig.

afternoon.

He

starts at the

visited the Schanzli

only social day, or more pre-

Cafe "Jahn"; once he ended

in the

Engried

Frau von Sinner's.


I

him

became acquainted with Ernst Sonderegger,


to

me.

Here and

fine,

there,

but which one

ographically, in part
satirical glass pictures

an ultrared
me.

He

evoke for him the

wanted

him about

name

base. This

it
is

marbleized in a

how one makes

Davos,

me

it

feels

autobi-

in early youth.

My

of Pascin, but he finds greater

well,

up

to a point. It's possible

people.

to render an asphalt base

and was already warmed

turpentine,

He comes from

explains his bent toward

by the bad treatment he endured

to converse profitably with

When

ray.

[sic]

concentration in me. Seems to understand

775.

man; Haller had sent

an intense, discreet side glance, which one hardly sees

feels like

a kindship with the satirist in

rich

a fine

inward-turned smile.

somewhat

more
most attractive way

which

fluid

into a

had become too

by sprinkling

new kind

discoveries in one's stupidity.

it

with

of aquatint

206 / Diary III


776.

Water, upon which waves, upon which

upon

whom

man. Already thought out

a boat,

upon which

summer

in the

of 1904.

woman,
Rocking

construction.

777.

Romantic

fits?

Play of fancy? Reverie? Vaporous masses heaped tow-

eringly? Darting lightning? (Dramatically:)

Out

of joint goes the law!

Oh!

SEPTEMBER
Personal

Chamber

news.

of

Engaged:

Dr.

Ferdinand Knoblauch, secretary of the

Commerce, Fraulein Josepha Mayer, daughter

of the Court

stirrup master; artist Ernst Paul Klee, in Bern, to Fraulein Karoline

daughter of Medizinalrat Dr.

Ludwig Stumpf. Married:

wig von Hacke, of the 2d Light-Horse Regiment,


riding school,

Meyn,

and Fraulein

Emma

Lieutenant Lud-

at present serving at the

Meyn, daughter

of Cuxhaven; District Judge Dr. Michael

Stumpf,

of landowner Charles

Maduschka and Fraulein

Hildegard Roth, daughter of the rentier Anton Roth.

^gfamih atarf)rit$teit. 2113 S3erIo6ie ftnb bom


btanbeSamte aufgeboten: ber ftanbelsfammer*
e!retar r. gerbinanb SnoBIaud&fcier mit ber#of*
i'porermeifter3tocJ)ter graulein ftofep^a 9JI a ij c t Ijtet
$aul le e in 53ern mtt grau*
lein Sardine Stumpf, Socfjter beg Wlebi&lnahateS

ber Sunftmaler (Srnft

3)r.

Submig Stumpf fiier. SJerma5ItIja6enfid&:


im 2. (SEebauIeger'Me^iment Cubttrig

ber Seutnant

greiljerr b. $acf e, *ur 3ett fommanbtert jur @quita


9ttetjn, Sotfjter
tionSanftalt, mit graulein
be (SutSbeftfcerS (SE)arIe SJtebn in ujljaben; ber
Bier mit
2Imt3rici)ter 2)r. SJHdjaet 2Jiabufd)la
graulein $tlbegarb {Rot, Softer be8 ftentierS

mma

Slnton

SRotf) ier.

Munich

October.

778.

am

legally a spouse,

mayor's

for at the

office

walked

through the door labeled "Married." Herr Henzi dispensed noble exhortations to us

from behind

sometimes

to the left,

bouquet of

a large

sometimes

my

times to me, other times to

flowers,

On

bride.

which

skirted,

the Miinsterplatz the market was

we walked by

open, and the butchers had a laugh as

words

his

and which he addressed some-

to the right,

their stands.

Such were

their simple souls.

In

Munich that soul


when you live

especially

is

The

of a different nature.

in a small

city

is

less

friendly,

The

boardinghouse on the Fiirstenstrasse.

people, on the other hand, are quite cheerful.

looked with amazement at

the monotonous, smoke-begrimed facades of the houses in which

was now

good burgher.

to be a

But there

are also temptations. Music, opera,

in the long run,

Work

still

not

as

cheap picture frames. Even

certainly livable.

it is

it

should be, but work nonetheless. Nice

little

at 32 Ainmillerstrasse, in the building overlooking the garden,

apartment

second floor on

the right.

modeling

table, plaster.

Freischiitz led

Why

that? Just

by Mottl. Flute

solo

bought

it!!

by D'Albert and the unpalatable

Feuersnot by Strauss, Richard. Samson and Delilah with the pasty Preuse-

Matzenauer. At the Gartner Theater, Offenbach's witty Orpheus.

by

recital

Max

minor Sonata, wonderfully played pieces by Liszt


tor at the

Lehmann

Kaim,

acts the virtuoso,

many

November.

nice,

certain comfort,

warm room

in

him.

Don

The

old Lily

Giovanni,

Amusing
better. Hard as

songs by Robert Franz.

absolutely no contact with Byron

be denied.

piano

Schneevoigt, conduc-

grausam" from

Anatol by Dr. Schnitzler. Hebel's Treasure Box

make

779.

but has nothing

sang, remarkably well, "Ich

songs by Richard Wagner, and


ing:

Pauer: Couperin-Rameau: Eroica Variations, Brahms' F-flat

(Don

is

five

readI

try,

Juan).

though perhaps

for working. Lily's

a bit insidious,

cannot

grandmother gave us

a big,

207

208 / Diary III

many

drawers bring order

do "Portrait of

a Child," a colored

shining chiffonniere in bourgeois Empire


into

style;

the

my work things.

In Bern

drawing on

had been commissioned

The

right away.

to

and executed

for druggist Albrecht-Moilliet in Basel,

glass,

fee

was two hundred

francs.

it

price for friends.

Immediately, Frau von Sinner also wanted to have a portrait made, and

am now

dutifully

Besides,

With

at

it,

not to stretch her impatience too

none remained.

my

went

to see Dr.

at the Simplicissimus offices at a very dirty spot along

Kaulbach-

under

arm,

thought, since Pascin was held in esteem there, that

might be

ceptable too. But Geheep, after conferring with his colleagues, asked
all

due respect

no way

far.

the utmost zeal on the smoothest surface, on glass,

off ballast, until little or

a friendly introduction, a portfolio

Geheep
strasse.

moved with

threw

simplified,

working

for things that

a virtuoso,

to drop the idea altogether

becoming

might

and don't wish

to

fit

Simplicissimus better. Since

become

one,

ac-

with

am

in

unfortunately was forced

so pleasing from the economic point of viewof

a cartoonist for Simplicissimus.

Even

seemed

Pascin's art

to

make

the gentlemen sigh softly.

November/December. There were plenty

of concerts,

and

heard enough

of them. Busoni played, among other works, the Opus 25 Etudes by Chopin

superbly.

delssohn
cality

Then Max Pauer again; this time he showed us what a man Menwas. The great Meschaert sang songs and ballads with deep musi-

and perfect declamatory

restraint;

Marteau played the Brahms Violin

Concerto.

At the
said.

theater, Berlioz' Destruction of

Troy led by Mottl, which

But, on the other hand, a horribly styleless

is

enough

performance of Tartuffe on

12.18.

780.

December. In

this city of five

alone and for myself.

found him

remembered

thousand painters,

now

live entirely-

Lichtenberger, a student of Knirr's, but

no use to me.
Speaking as one human being among others, life was quite monotonous. In
Solln my acquaintance from the good old days with Frau Frida Fischer was
tired

and

disillusioned.

This

is

of

Then Frau Hofman-Menscher, Lily's former teacher, invited me to


Brahms' Sonato op. 100. And once Lily's little pupils came to our house for
their audition, which made a pleasant change.

renewed.

209 / Munich 1906

SOOTHSAYERS CONVERSING, 1906, 33

210 / Diary

The work
loosened

HI
consisted mostly in transposing older motifs into the new,

The

style.

most deluded me
As

781/782.

cool casualness with which this was

into thinking

had attained

look back on those days,

done sometimes

importance the display

rate first in

of the engravings at the Sezession show; less important was a


dorfer's in

al-

a certain mastery.

show

at

WachenThe

Frankfurt-am-Main, which aroused no interest whatsoever.

"Portrait of a Child" for Basel brought


"Portrait of Frau von Sinner" in Bern, six

At the end

of the year

me

two hundred

and the

francs,

hundred marks.

heard Richard Strauss' Salome conducted by Mottl,

with Knote, Preuse-Matzenauer, Larsen, Feinhals,

etc.,

and The Magic Flute

conducted by Mottl, with Bender, Bosetti, Knote, Zimmermann, Brodersen.

The

direction of Mottl was unique!

and when once

tension,
heit, die

Wahrheit," what an

chiefly in order to

Such

restraint in spite of all that vigorous

he emphasized a passage,

in a while

effect

like "die

Wahr-

got! Finally, Stradella with Knote,

he

my

be able to hear his beautiful voice to

heart's content, for

once.
Fritz Kocher's essays are of considerable interest

point of view. But Byron! Byron!

shall never quite

from the psychological

come

to an understand-

ing with you, no matter what.

1907
January. Lily's friends invite us to see them;

783.

any advantage to us exactly! But

with a really friendly interest and

who

in-law's

Coming from

couldn't claim that this

is

wish to underestimate people

don't sound

bourgeois, after

all,

my

gravely injured father-

this gesture implies a certain generosity.

the people from earlier days

Lichtenberger, whose creative drive


in her consists in her obvious
I

all

horn of lamentation.

Among

this

don't at

suppose

is

who have

exhausted

pregnancy

will quite disappear again.

(if

She

turned up again
is

Wassiliew.

only Haller could see


is

now

besides

One change
it!),

called Eliasberg,

it

and

being

the case that she has married a German-Russian-Jewish literary gentleman of


that name. All in

all, it

was a pleasant and entertaining evening, and there

211 /

were

all sorts

of things to listen to, look at

illustrations),

and "learn," since

this

(among

gentleman

Munich 1907

others, Beardsley's
is

informed,

if

Salome

only super-

ficially.

784.

again turned to paper; with India ink, applied partly by spraying,

made some
ginning to

tonal drawings, using older drawings in the process. Tonality

mean something

have almost no use for

to

me,

in contrast to the past,

when

be-

is

seemed

to

it.

und Kiinstler ("Art and


The new man is named
done on glass, among them

Eliasberg wants to try his luck again with Kunst


Artists")

now

Karl Scheffler.

that Heilbut has been fired as editor.


sent engravings

and pictures

"Father," "Couple in Brown," "Past Grandeur," "Drawing, Portrait of


Father." This last-named work he called

To
glass:

the jury of the spring Sezession

"Comedy,"

"The Prophet Elias."


show I submitted these

"Lyrical Submersion,"

"Woman

My
on

pictures

and Beast" (green-red),

Heinemann, the conservative gallery, soared upward to show the French


Above all else there was the magnificent "Absinthe Drinker,"
by Manet, which helped me greatly in my efforts with tonality. Then a large

785.

Impressionists.

array of works

which gradually move toward colorism, from "Bon Boc"

"Lady with Parasol." Either the "Absinthe Drinker"


work of the lot, or I am particularly attuned to it at

is

to

really the strongest

this time.

By Monet,

and surroundings. Courbet

there were landscapes of Paris (Boulevard scene!)

was represented by the great picture "The Wrestlers."

At the Sezession there was an ensemble

of works

by Uhde, very respectable,

but somewhat pale next to the French, and only in some details genuinely
Impressionist. Holzl has

been progress

is

made amazing

in itself even

more

progress, but the fact that there has

interesting.

Herr Schramm

is

a ghastly

painter.

785a.

Mottl conducted

charming opera by Berlioz: Benedict and Beatrice,

following "Tant de bruit pour une omelette." Fraulein Fassbender really

is

great artist.

Humperdinck's Forced Marriage, on the other hand, oh myl


Reisenauer, a superb pianist, played

one

can't say that he played the

212 / Diary

HI

piano, because

it

no

sounded completely de-pianotized. Opus

major

in A-flat

by Beethoven, Schubert's Moments Musicaux (there was one!!!) and Impromptus. Then

many pieces by Chopin, one by

Field,

and

few by Liszt!

An

experience.

D'Albert had a hard time,


angry face with the
out, either.

little

remained quite

cool,

and the piano

rattled.

remained cool down to the very heart.

The Bohe-

Stavenhagen-Berber-Kiefer played together, and that was that.

mian

The

piggish eyes didn't succeed in wrenching the stuff

String Quartet

is still

good, in spite of the change of

violist.

Mottl returned to provide some new experiences. This time


Eroica!!! Hebrides Overture

it

was the

and "Bohemia's Groves and Meadows" preceded

it.

February/March. The good

786.

and

father-to-be

moves

me

to undertake a really absurd project:

without Commission for the


If

the real production

myself even

Summer Show

had not

do such

less to

brand-new head of the family

will of the

"A

Portrait

of the Sezession!"

just fallen off sharply

could have allowed

a thing.

Moreover, Scheffler refuses me, and likewise for the spring Sezession exhibi-

He

tion.

wrote two or three pages to Eliasberg; he grants that

but detects too


tive.

Now

many

Apropos papa
better

tainly

is

787.

April.

me. The

ass, as

is

way

it

later, since Lily

portrait that

glass plate

is

have

talent,

bad, he says, but at least imagina-

people say in Munich.

that's just the

now than

The

Kubin too

mistakes.

look like an

goes.
is

can't call

a joy,

it

but

it

cer-

thirty years old.

have undertaken for the exhibition excites

so beautiful

and pure.

Why

the dabbing with a

all

And the damned deadline.


humor magazine, a degenerate

brush and pricking with a needle?

The

people of Bern want a

Simpel and Jugend. Certainly fated to be


there
to

is still

stillborn.

time to get something out of

it.

But the

Significantly,

am

be approached. But Aemilius Cardinaux did remember me,

credit for that. After

all,

he might have forgotten about

cross

between

artists hurry,

me

while

the last one

let's

give

until the

him

day of

the bankruptcy.

Other worried voices

are heard

from old Switzerland.

My

"Portrait of Frau

Munich 1907

213 /

von Sinner" arouses


me!!

good deal

of excitement. Fritz

Lotmar has

to

defend

Nice of him.
Mottl's preference for comic opera

788.

is

very pleasing.

enabled us to

It

hear Donizetti's L'Elisir d 'amove, with Bossetti. Herr Geiss was

not

and rather dry and comical. This was played

fiery,

Then

saw some Shakespeare again. Richard

kirchen. It wasn't too bad.


of the people beside us
violently.

"There he

his entrance. It

is

Handel oratorio

tion

still

by Herr Liitzen-

on by

Michelangelo's

My

Saul. It

very good. Felix von Kraus gave a beautiful

is

works by Toulouse-Lautrec.

But Triibner's
letters.

skill is

so cold that

Wedekind, The Waking

successes to date.

No. Then

No! As

a "student of Stuck,"

Munich. The

The
gives

He

remained

after
its

all,

silent

all

by him-

his concep-

graphic pieces are

me

a cough.

of Spring, good.

and Rainer

in

who

said:

at the Sezession

show

asked Cassirer,

was able to exhibit them

critics

had a certain importance

it

sent the engravings to Keller

to Heilbut, likewise in Berlin.

Forest cantons, which shook


climes:

woman

when Mathieu made

power and sang the dialogue with Samuel

Berlin.

of 1906, in

She hated Richard

(sotto voce, in the balcony).

again, the scoundrel," she hissed

large collection of

particularly good!

III played

better performance was put

Ludwig Hess, the tenor, conducted without any technique;


of the work was a little affected.

790.

though

was unbelievably funny.

display of interpretive
self.

lively,

recently.

about an event which, to me,

except for a small paper in one of the

head mightily,

a gesture signifying in our

"No."

went on developing cautiously and,

dently to Karl Scheffler.

The

latter

after Heilbut's

fall,

turned confi-

shouted "No!" several times.

And from

the rooms of the Sezession

on the Konigsplatz, above which the spring sun


shone, an echo resounded: No! Simplicissimus had also whispered No, which
found
strasse.

its

complementary echo

"No

in green."

at the

Debschitz School on Hohenzollcrn-

Herr Schmoll had thought of handing

me

over the

which he had given up, but he had not reckoned with the landlord,
the good friend von Eisenwert. True, my Swiss patrons, who had commis-

position

214 / Diary III

me

sioned

to

do

me

their portraits, paid

as agreed,

but that money was eaten

up more quickly than can be imagined. To make up,

now

received a

me

from Green Heinrich, looking prematurely wilted, who invited

handsome

leftovers of a

banquet served to the voracious

artists of

visit

to the

Zurich-

Bern-Basel. "Yes?"

When We Dead Awaken??? Don

791.

May.

Mottl

at the Hoftheater.

Haydn

is

Ibsen:

Joachim Quartet,

Beethoven: Opus 127

E-flat.

Brahms: B major, the

least of

-U

Schumann:

all.

Wf
A

minor.

May

13th: Mozart's

Green Heinrich.

were invited by a patroness, with a touch of affectation, and her

husband,

pig-headed Hessian.

Name

is

B.,

the place: Prien

Chiemsee. Broad and humid countryside. The whole party was


over by someone
ride.

At

Beethoven: Opus 59 in C.

17th. Yes? Yes! Sent several drawings to

We

792.
retired

Giovanni conducted by

11th.

performed extremely subjectively these days.

*l,

May

May

named Zimmermann,

a kitsch painter.

Good

am

later invited

cigars.

Carriage

Wine.
B.'s,

the food was heavy. Nicest thing about

the walks which

we took by

ourselves.

it

were the boat rides and

Munich 1907

215 /

met

Dr. Voltz

death on an African journey.

his

kindly, brave

man. He

stepped into some fighting by Frenchmen in Liberia. Just before, he had told

me: "Maybe

it

will kill

me, and

if it

doesn't, I'd like to get married."

him before me, in the Nydeck arcade.


hear music. 'Toward the end, he started to like
see

still

to

June.

793.

am

obsessed with tonality.

me

teacher had advised


charcoal.
tle

Now a

do

to

this!).

Fritz always dragged

also

him

it."

squint convulsively

Now

can

(if

only some

know why one draws with

picture like Corinth's "Portrait of Ansorge" also

means

lit-

something to me.

July.

Gotterdammerung,

Mottl. At the end of June

In July

my

father

Fidelio,

made

and Cosi fan

tutte,

conducted by

all

the acquaintance of Albert Welti.

came from Bern

for a visit.

We showed him

Munich. He

was probably supposed to take us back with him, but he made


the grounds that he was needed at home.
suit

him? Did

him

at the

carrots

end of

Or maybe our

and peas make him cease? As you

off early

on

vegetarian diet didn't


please.

We

followed

July.

August and September. Bern. We spent two months there. Bloesch


came from Rome, Fritz and Olga Lotmar from Berlin. Hallermandu from
Finland. A great deal of music. Lewandowsky, the capering cellist. Dvorak's
794.

Dumky
this

A
in

Trio suited him,

gypsy

was not so austere. But

bungled

preacher joined us to play quartets. Music reconciles!

Opus 59

little

it

a great deal in

stuff.

in

major.

couple of times,

minor passage, on the low

string.

made

played the viola

noticeable mistakes, in the

In other respects

my

Bergonzi was

exquisite.

We are testing. We are testing names. A:

Julian, Felix, Alexander, Joachim,

Franz; B: Susanne, Helene, Henriette, Franziska, Charlotte, Eva.

795.

Work

was also accomplished

touched up with

color.

On

sheets of Ingres paper out


of

my army

a misty

in Bern.

on the gravel

with Hallermandu.

Outdoors. Charcoal, sometimes

autumn morning
in the

The General

spread the large,

humid

garden and inspected the van

gave praise. Afterward he praised

himself in affable tones: "I've always wanted to do hard things, until

could

216 / Diary

do them.

But

III

puttered around, you understand! Afterward,

way

light-hearted

me

Done unsentimentally. I
Or acquaintances had to sit

September we spent some time

furnished apartment, rented at off-season rates.

The

Bernese peasant

style.

night we prepared our

Beans with bacon

own

There were plenty of


considerably fewer

aromatic walnut

News came

fish.

wife very

much

fat.

bad

fish.

Food

at

all.

in

At

food.

flies

for casting near the woodpiles.

But there were

Walnut

trees, beautiful,

Here and there

trees. Vis-a-vis

a steamboat.

Beatenberg. Yes,

of Joachim's death.

yes.

sensed something like this during the

in

798.

Munich. The section marked "Being

major.

again reached

my

destination, thinking of

bodings. Errands at the Military and the

a Father" gradually begins.

what

is

come:

to

Tax Bureau add

all sorts

Once

of fore-

a sort of acrid spice

atmosphere of expectancy.

Pleasant news that Ernst Sonderegger

is

swing

like a

pendulum between the

from nature, which

and

easel,

start.

He

sobriety of

my

and the

thing of that sort had to

be there,

if

fantasticality of Ensor.

Berlioz'

exist.

The

Then Daumier!! To

A complete Parisian,

his wife

is

sings;

good, kind man.

recent tonal studies

continue here by chasing through the suburbs with port-

cheap, not always literary. Sonderegger introduced

and Gavarni.

Munich. His wife

settling in

she was well disposed toward us right from the

folio

didn't catch

My

at the Steinbock, not

Fugue

in Leissigen, in a small

We

bourgeoisie from Basel was rather disturbing.

to the

it.

probably forever."

in the garden.

Leissigen. In

796.

it,

to justify his relation to art.

rediscovered the beautiful quarry in Ostermundig.


for

always dropped

in art things don't go so fast; you've got to stick with

this

Sonderegger.

fantastic

me

is

not always

to this Ensor.

a lesser extent,

Would

Some-

De Groux

certainly prefer to

were not intent on making a career in music.

Trojans at Carthage, with Fassbender as Dido, conducted by

Mottl, a splendid performance from the musical point of view.

Lamond,
piano; the

a warm person, not a


human quality comes

pianist like Reisenauer:

he

just plays the

out of the total performance; the indi-

217 / Munich 1907

come from

vidual sounds

piano,

the piano.

WTien Reisenauer

music

hungry wolves, but don't always hear

played,

wasn't a

it

was magic.

it

we

In general,

listen to

like

the best.

November. Out

800.

though

cause, even
to spare

my

and what

of necessity,

from the heart.

letter, straight

wrote

told

him

my

that

Stumpf

father-in-law

a long

alone had read his letter be-

understood nothing about medicine,

thought

pregnant wife. But that same wife of mine knew

it

proper

was answering

was answering, and that she approved.

Regarding the deadly insulting

letter

from Uncle Hansen or Professor

Holzminden on the Weser, I wrote that this was to be said: Lily,


even without the letter, would have found out sooner or later anyway, from
the letter to Horns, the opinion entertained about the Uncle by father
Schlie in

Stumpf, to the

Schlie was trying to swindle an in-

effect that Professor

heritance.

Also, father
in

Stumpf had

end of September that

told us in a letter at the

view of the situation he did consider an inheritance swindle to be possible.


I

should like to ask:

proach

To

Would

the Herr Medizinalrat ever have taken a

re-

like this in a friendly spirit?

speak of the child's way to his heart was,

ventured to

say, a

manner

of speaking.
I

naturally did not

been

in

tell

father

Munich, of course

husband; but

Stumpf even

secretly, since

in this letter that

was not welcome

did mention ironically that, on one occasion

he had caught me,

had an excellent

alibi: just

then

had often

as a prospective

when he thought

was walking the Boule-

vards of the French capital.

Then

became more

no longer always

serious

self-evident.

and went on

"Order means

only one other spot in the letter that

to say that these days morality


life"

was

a fine phrase; there

is

was

almost preferred, the one where Herr

Medizinalrat had deigned to say of me, "I have alwavs been a good example."

And

yet

had bid

said

me

could not remember, from the dav

when Herr

Papa-in-La\v

look more deeply into the chaos of his soul, having seen any-

thing but hostility, insult to others, praise of himself, and the

like.

2i 8 / Diary III

The

future

had now

arrived,

said in conclusion; these old squabbles

no

we can do, is to draw from them the lesson that


home some day for a child, I said, and that I felt

longer concern us; the best

we must

provide a better

justified in casting to the

That

is

about

how

portant and since

winds the pious wishes of such an inept person.

we would soon be educated by our

Papa and Mama. "Preferring not


the end, and signed

ber

had now become

wrote, since the past

my

first

and

so very

name

unim-

and no longer by

have contact in the future"

to

last

child,

beneath. Yes, indeed!

added

at

On Novem-

1907.

1,

Heard nothing

801.

until 11.14.

not too happy situation.

in her

Now the stepmother wrote


The matter

older of us two mellows, grows senile, as

comes

imbecilic. Until that day

we

will

were.

it

as best she

could

remain hopeless until the


.

Until one of us be-

simply have to work, play music, and

shall

drink tea.

Anna Sonderegger

certainly has sensibility

and

also a certain interpretive

But the voice has something wrong with it, it seems to me.
At Zimmermann's, an art gallery on Maximilian Street, one can gather an

gift.

impression from time to time. Pascin


there.

The

strongest thing about

aesthetic culture.

inconsistent
I

and

The mixture

is

them

of Paris

currently showing a

is

their depravity

and

number

of works

a certain

and the Balkans. In the

French

final analysis,

effete.

try to carry over

what

learned from

into free composition. In addition,

my

charcoal drawings from nature

etch, using the reservage process.

Lily too craves for music, or perhaps she intends to give birth to a musician?

At any
1.

rate,

we consume enormous

Jubilee concert by the

quantities of

wind section

it:

of the

Hof

Orchestra.

2.

Tschai-

kowsky's Trio Vie d'un Artiste, played exemplarily by the Press Maurina

trio.

The Christmas Oratorio (the first three cantatas). 4. Cesar Franck's D


minor Symphony and Richard Strauss's Don Quijote, conducted by Pfitzner.
3.

5.

charming concert by the Societe des instruments anciens from

Paris.

Shortly after that concert, the childbirth pains began.

802.

Felix Klee, born

on November

30, 1907.

Fraulein Singer, a Professor Saudner, and a Dr. Ashton were in charge.

219 / Munich 1907

The

business took thirty hours.

kept house, the charwoman Theresa Schatzl

helped as best she could in her confused state of mind.

Saudner and Fraulein Singer were mostly


tion,

about everything. She

finally

turned out to be

Forceps were not used for a long time.


she

became more and more

in disagreement.

languid.

My

About the

posi-

right.

wife was supposed to labor, but

bath was given to stimulate her.

No

The funny part was


who had to undergo

that

effect.

Dr. Ashton's arrival gave an impetus to things.

no longer thought of the

child, only of

my

wife

this

pain.

The

operation and being

and sprinkled the mask,

sick;

wasn't conscious of anything

for the narcosis

was not deep, and

the two doctors and the midwife, had their hands

When

the child arrived, "a boy,"

The

first

a center, as

to leave

new

were the doctors; we

up and sleeping. Then the midwife


Perhaps

helped

three people,

full.

center of attention was formed.

was to learn hourly and thoroughly from then on.

sat,

Fraulein Singer and

The

bed, quite pleased about the end of the ordeal.

the traditional type

else. I

was astonished again that everybody

didn't disband quietly, but that instead a

And what

all

left too,

young

by the

bundled

lady, incidentally, not at all

and now we were alone,

this reads like a bucolic novel,

I,

child was safely

and yet

it

was

a real little family.


a stirring

moment;

indeed, one hovered close to emotion, but then back again to the grossly
practical, for instance,

had

to resurrect

from

press the bottle against

when

a "rabah,

rabah" penetrated

some

a deathlike state, heat

my

eye,

and then shove

it

water,

into the

my

sleep

and

add some milk,

open gateway!

How

the fellow guzzled! But then he left us in peace again.

On

803.

the following days there were visitors

but the chickens they brought were

they

let in. If all of

were turned away,

them had

lived,

we would

have been the possessors of a magnificent poultry farm and had eggs for the
our

rest of

lives.

Exceptionally,

and
804.

Fritz

Lotmar,

let in

Sonderegger feeds

Gogh's

letters,

three parties, the Eliasbergs and the Sondereggers

who came from

me

his

Berlin to
favorite

sell

himself to Krappelin.

fare:

Baudelaire's writings, Edgar Poe.

Daumier and Ensor, Van

220 / Diary III

Academy, not included

in the subscription series.

Mottl

conducted the Ninth, preceded by Gluck's overture to Alceste. The

instru-

Concert

at the

mentation had probably been overdone. For Gluck sounded different from

way he did

the

in Paris, altogether different, strongly psychological, the

wind

instruments dominating the strings.


In the Ninth, the

first

movement was

particularly stirring,

which should not be played too

also the scherzo,

heavily.

The

and perhaps
adagio, Mottl

took so slowly that the musicians could barely blow their instruments.
don't like to hear the last movement,

prefer to imagine

it.

Really, some-

thing always goes wrong with the intonation.

1908
Looking back at the end of the year created a
than before.

To

bring children into the world

no

is

little

more

trifling

serious

mood

matter! Over the

entire horizon, bluish, phosphorescent flashes of sheet lightning.


I

middle of the

as actor in the

circle:

the pose didn't last long; a single day

another time, a

a family.

of spirituality

Van Gogh

spirit of

it

to

make

us a

little

larger or,

Joseph the carpenter belongs to any humble

good deal of

nobility, of adventurousness, of bizarreness,

is

hidden behind the locked door.

is

congenial to me, "Vincent" in his

does have something. There


earth;

"Never mind the lightning!" Yet

enough

smaller.

little

Something of the
head of

is

is

has too peculiar a savor.

no need,

after

The words we

all,

letters.

Perhaps nature

to speak of the smell of

use to speak about

it, I

mean,

have too peculiar a savor.

Too bad

Van Gogh was so fine a human being, but not so


and that the later, wonderful artist is such a marked man.
mean should be found between these four points of comparison: then, yes!

good

that the early

as a painter,

Then one would want


In fact,

really

to be like that oneself.

do go out into the snow

there, freeze, freeze

stiff,

but work.

the abundance around me; but

in all seriousness, station myself

accomplish

little in

comparison with

accomplish a great deal in comparison with

the poverty and simplicity of a small bourgeois homestead.

221 /

Sometimes color harmonies take hold of me, but then


hold them

fast, I

am

one from, the lady from

lady, the

from Konigstal can, can go, can go

on

agrees, agrees
this lady,

am

On

this point!

nor do

not ready to

can go to blazes.

to,

February

K.,

1908. Besides,

first,

from Konigs,

The

family

little

don't

know

have any need, any need for commerce with relatives and

therefore, therefore quite free, free of doubts.

809.
life

am going to
my own. I am

try

of

Go

without speculation now, without any spiritual

it

going to try

The

bourgeois fashion.

Even

me

that's Swiss

is

toned-down, slightly
going to try

to

finger), that's

what counts,

artist.

do completely without personality, but to

to

that's

my age one has personality;


men now, in arte?
a

is

raises his fore-

what we must wrinkle our brow

and, anyhow,

am

over!

At

not one of the finer young

nature herself doesn't obey any personality, any central

thing about her

it.

drawing from nature.

from excessive concern with personality (the teacher

free

If

a small scale, in

have to do to become a good

was devoted

no need any more

is

on

fourth part of

in high school

There

it

good boy to find out from teacher Meier-Grafe or

to school like a

teacher Karl Scheffler what

be

am

not equipped.

The

February.

807.

Munich 1908

will, if every-

matter of habit, occasion, and adjustment, then

all

the

better.

But what

The
of

if

God

exists? (Pshtt!!)

teacher declares:

God: look at one of


"Oh, teacher, I want
"Besides,

pallor to be

it

is

good

"Why

should you concern yourself with the being

his flower beds, that

is

sufficient."

be good!"

to

you

for

found there! You

to live

shall

be a

and work outdoors; no


little,

intellectual

busy ant amidst bees and but-

terflies."

"Teacher,

may

play a

"Versatility in the arts?

the arts
811.

is

good, provided

little

By
it

mu-mu-music besides??"

all

means, you must, you may! Versatility in

does not lead to works of integrated art."

Learned how to differentiate tonality (with or without colors) from

the coloristic.

Got

it!

222 / Diary

HI

Exchange of

812.

my

with Albert Welti and Kreidolf concerning

letters

admission into the Society of Graphic Artists (Glaspalast). Welti had unexpectedly proposed

it

to

me.

thanked Welti for the good thought and

his friendship.

the place where he exhibited could not be bad for

thought very highly of Herr Kreidewolf.

Still,

my

with the Impressionists, at least judging from

words were beginning to bear


there were

so, if

still

said too that

either.

And

that

probably belonged more

current work (the teacher's

fruit).

Max Liebermann and Uhde,

valued

And

me

said,

no objections,

but the French

would

still

my name

let

more.

be voted

on next Friday.
wrote

ment.

my

congratulations on the commission from the Swiss Govern-

was sorry to see him move to Bern but hoped, together with

wife, to play violin

summer

vacation.

Kreidolf answered informing

At the end
813.

my

and piano music for him at Melchenbiihlweg during the

Due

of the letter

it

that

had

failed.

That was

terri-bull.

said: Claude Lorrain Strasse, 17.

meeting with the kindly but very drunk "Prsze-

to a personal

byszewsky,"

me

read his book,

On

the

Ways

of the Soul, or Gustav Vigeland.

That is, I tried to read it, but soon found myself as delirious as the author
and now can't remember a thing.
Wedekind's Music I was at least able to understand. In addition, I busied
myself with Boccaccio's Decameron and Balzac's Contes Drolatiques.
the question occurred to

book some day??

me

whether

Finally, Little Eyolf.

Music: Aca-Academy:

small,

innocent

Schubert, Ritter's "Ride to the Grave of

the Last.

Now

too might not illustrate a beautiful

A new Munich

Symphony

in

Good Music," Don

string quartet

(Kilian, ouch!

C, No.

6,

by

Juan by Richard

Industrious medi-

ocrity).

And

then the virtuoso conductor Ganzner, with pop favorites. Cellini

Overture, Prelude and Love Death, and the inevitable Pathetique by Tschai-

kowsky (with the Kaim Orchestra).

The

best was the eighth concert at the Aca-Acad, with a splendid rendition

of the Pastoral, the

first

movement

broad, strong and countryboyish, the

Munich 1908

223 /
scherzo rather

very fast!
so-called

fast,

the Thunderstorm incredibly dramatic, the final allegretto

Mozart Violin Concerto No. 7 with too


be truthful about

ful pleasure, to

March. The

813a.

odd Ahner, played

very spiritless violinist,

was forced

This led to
I

back

a successful

a little

wench

my

on

once

the lurch. As a

left us in

program of nulla dies sine

a couple of days earlier,

my

balcony, naturally, which was

myself from

doubt-

re-

linea.

work, which shows a particular freshness of form.

had already seen the picture

free

March

1908/56, "The Balcony." In

glass picture

to go

newly discovered

it.

again played nurse for a while; a serving


sult,

large an orchestra.

from

only way of getting out.

my

kitchen

was able to

that was accidental in this slice of "nature," both in

all

the drawing and in the tonality, and rendered only the "typical" through

Have

carefully planned, formal genesis.

This kitchen balcony, the empty

lot,

really

come out

now??

of the jungle

the Hohenzollernstrasse.

prisoner's

view in several directions.

Welti and Kreidolf came

814.

With

to speak.

to look at

my

works.

true instinct Kreidolf immediately

made

showed

my

all,

so

for the "Balcony."

more exactly,
About "Pregnancy" he said, "By and large, one
that." He had already liked my engravings in the

Welti, with a childlike smile, remained open to everything (or,


closed to everything new).
sees

some

fat

women

like

when he saw them being printed at


3.15. Soon after, we paid him a visit

past

people in the

little

such uncongeniality.

table five-year old Ruedi.


is

in Solln.

But there were

so

many

room, the entire Frau-Frieda-Fischer-Salon and the

of Solln into the bargain, that


sible for

Girardet's.

it

made

a cheesy mass. Cordiality

The boys were


wild

is

rest

respon-

there too, especially the inimi-

little beast,

awe-inspiring.

The

older one

going through puberty, gets a well-intentioned box on the ear from his

father

from time to time.

Kreidolf a bachelor, a bit


a gigantic jug of

816.

The

triste, quiet,

milk and a few

large,

spring Sezession exhibition

see the latest art

from

Paris,

which

not unmanly. In the middle of

it all,

round cakes.

is

making

jibes

a real effort.

One

can

now

with Herr Meier-Grafe's views.

224 / Diary III

Bonnard, no doubt cultivated, but very small and


is

something to be learned from

He
a

tight, very narrow.

There

economical way of selecting his values.

his

so restrained that the bright accents, for all their quietness, can give

is

triumphant

effect.

Vuillard

a style that transcends the

is

weaker

still,

even though he

strives to achieve

European. By Roussel, a beautiful

still life

with

flowers.

The

strongest

is

Vallotton, but a very unpleasant

and yet appetite

painting,

for painting.

Also, a large collection of drawings by

manner

of painting.

But somehow he

Liebermann

Not
man.

quite a

is

"which Liebermann?"

they asked in Solln. For people out there, there are two Liebermanns. Also
etchings by the

same

artist.

Long-familiar, well-assimilated things!

stand on the kitchen balcony myself and hunt with some luck for children

playing.

Two more
Van Gogh
deal; at

many
he

is

Van Gogh

at Brakl's

and

Zimmermann's on Maximilianstrasse. At Brakl's, a great


Zimmermann's, the very famous pieces, like "L'Arlesienne," and

others. His pathos

is

alien to

me, especially

in

my

current phase, but

certainly a genius. Pathetic to the point of being pathological, this en-

man

dangered
is

exhibitions, quite important ones!

again at

can endanger one

consumed by the

fire

who

does not see through him. Here a brain

of a star. It frees itself in

its

work

just before the

catastrophe. Deepest tragedy takes place here, real tragedy, natural tragedy,

exemplary tragedy.

me

Permit

817.

On

to be terrified!

April

1st, Liszt's

Holy Elizabeth

delightful mustering assembly;

ating combination.
to Piper's.

only for a
reads aloud

Hofoper.

On

the 2d, the

nause-

That night we went


Mahler and
has musical passions

the 3d, Fritz and Olga arrived.

don't share. Music mustn't go that way, in any case

moment! A plebeian called Esswein plays a certain role there,


when we don't disturb him. Lily had to join in some banging

quatre mains. Ear-splitting.

On

at the

smelled of people and barracks.

Piper, quite a personality,

which

Bruckner

On

it

The

landlord threatens and curses downstairs.

leaving the "salon," the guests are insulted

refined atmosphere about the

on the

staircase.

whole thing. Through

thoroughly

the intercession

of

Munich 1908

225 /

who

Eliasberg,

takes an interest in the publishing house. Fruitless for me,

because of outspoken opposition.

On

openly showed

my

boredom.

work by d'Albert. The cheap pieces

April 6th, Tiefland, a contrived

have success. Brodersen's acting was extremely stupid (verismo); Fassbender


did well.

On the 9th, I put in my first stint


On the nth, Saint Matthew Passion

of correcting at Debschitz's (nude).

(Mottl), uncut performance with a

one-hour intermission.

Schmoll's recommendation to Eisenwerth had

818.

me

entrusted

for

one month with the correction of

ing from the nude.

went

at

it

its effect,

his

and Debschitz

evening

class in

draw-

of course with frantic zeal.

Then Hallermandu came and had even more


wanted, almost, to buy the "Balcony."

He

praise than last time.

He

"Children in the

also liked the

Construction Yard."
In the third place,

again sent works to the Sezession. "Balcony," "Child-

ren in the Construction Yard," and "Pregnancy" were refused.

them

at

riage,"

two hundred marks and one hundred and


each.

confraternity of kitsch

During
was put

this period,

My

had priced

it is

June.

It's

The

on Good Friday.

of us

The people

An

am

few of

ture gallery, they are really good.

achieving very

a specialist,

in this respect.

out Hals, but something of Hals does remain.


well-oriented European.

extended

industriously, but are also

much

there.

exhibition of works left behind by Busch

was not merely

somewhat limited

draw

there

questionable whether

this artist

naturally he's

figures tells the story.

an excursion to Kochel, Kesselberg, and Walchensee

not without interest.

shows that

comparison of the

out there on the Konigsplatz!

job as corrector at the Debschitz school was

May and

quite mediocre.

is

The two

off again.

May.

through

But

"Street with Car-

"Suburb with Courtyard," and "Street beneath Trees" were accepted.

One hundred marks

819.

fifty.

but also a thriving painter;

Thinned-out and trimmed-

Not

cheap dauber, but a

his lads with red jackets

belong

in a pic-

226 / Diary III


820.

5.14.

Barber of Seville led by Mottl; Rosine: Bosetti; Basilio: Bender;

Bartolo: Geiss. 5.15. Marriage of Figaro at the Residenztheater, conducted

by Mottl; Count: Feinhals, Suzanne:

Bosetti,

Bartolo:

Walter, Antonio: Geiss. 5.16. Opening of the Sezession.

Thomann from Zurich visits


Thomann my acceptance.
821.

6.16.

At Frau

Faust at the

6.23.

822.

Genesis of a work:

Draw

2.

Turn No.
your

into

upside

down and emphasize

the main lines according to

its

and bring

initial position

nature

= picture into harmony.

Said Herr
little

Waldemar when

the carrion

on

fly lit

his

hand:

"May

ask

patience!"

Oil painting
shall paint

from nature, possibly using a telescope.

strictly

feeling.

twice for a
824.

and Kreidolf.

Theater, a Court performance. Staged by Fritz

Return the drawing paper to

and
823.

painter

good Gretchen: Lossen.

1.

3.

The

me. Invitation to join the "Walze." Gave

Fischer's in Solln with the Sondereggers

Artists'

Erler.

Basilio:

Sieglitz,

5.24.

I.

human

figures

from nature

two time periods and treating each

1st state (imperfect)

in a deeper sense, dividing

them

separately.

the space, the environment; this stage must be allowed

to dry too.
2.

Action begins (perfect, passe

defini, aorist): the figure itself. For: in na-

ture too the environment was already complete

occurred.
tive
3.

From

the outset,

economy

is

required in

when motion

joined

may be

in,

effec-

1,

so that 2

is

finished (Color applied

without forcing. Furthermore, there remains:

To

test the

mutual

effect of

and

2.

The

picture

with a palette knife, because brushes always smudge right away.)


Oil painting

II.

1.

Laying down the local

2.

Modeling by means of darkening and

finished.

colors, in

broad strokes, by

areas.

lightening. Again, the picture

is

227 / Munich 1908

He

825.

has found his

something

style,

The way

else.

All sorts of books read

826.

Homo

when he cannot do

to style: gnothi seauton

and

II,

cannot do

i.e.,

thyself).

and performances attended

Sapiens by Prszybscewsky, Parts

don't like

otherwise,

(know

in

June and

July.

banal, delirious monster;

it.

Wedekind,

Gnome and Pandoras

Box. Schick, Bocklin's "Eckermann."

Guest performances by the Berlin Chamber Players (Reinhardt). Gnome:

Schon played by
theatrical

an entertaining

fession;

play.

by Hartleben, and so on,

1.

Another

Shaw's Mrs.

best

Pro-

(how he took

his curtain call!)

etc.

Angele

less impressive.

painting.

oil

Laying down complexes of color patches, freely produced from

ings, as
2.

this style.

Mrs. W.: Fraulein Wangel; her companion:

Steinriick; Pastor: Schildkraut!!

827.

The
Warrens

Steinriick. Lulu: Eysoldt; Schigolch: Schildkraut.

performance imaginable in

my

feel-

the ineradicable, essential core of the work.

See in this "nothing" an object (the marble tabletops in

taurant),

make

figurative

it

and

clarify

it

by means of

my

lights

uncle's res-

and shadows.

given ground tone was laid down first, which now shows through here
and there over the entire surface. The picture is finished.

828.
is

Armed with

the best

way

binoculars,

went hunting

in the fields outside

They

to outwit one's models.

town. This

suspect nothing, and their

poses and faces are natural.

829.

Thomann

writes that an article

the review Die Schweizg, and that

about "Die Walze" in


'The Comedian" is to be

to appear

is

my

etching

reproduced.

Then

a Swiss fellow called

Schweizg, writes

me

Willy Lang, the author of the

that having

with

my

more

prints in the review Hyperion,

Then

engraving, he

the said Willy

would

Lang

had the occasion

article for

like to arrange for the publication of

and begs

me

to think

writes again telling

with Blei, that Blei wanted a plate, that

ought

me

Die

become acquainted

to

one or

about his proposal.

that he

had spoken

to visit Blei at his

home

at

228 / Diary III


Hubertusstrasse 13, that

make

that Blei could

too

my becoming

known

as well

an even greater gain. Very

And

so

inside. Blei
I

stand

So

travel to

and wait

me

my

through these things would be

Willy Lang.
ring at

showing

No.

me

13,

am let
He is

his back.

around toward me,


latest

in

and escorted

lost in thought.

in a carefully calculated way.

Munich

He

"genius," Mayershofer.

He

with the most synthetic naturalness.

ings since the time of the Sezession

He

as possible, so

confidentially not to ask for

few moments. Then a lean face with gigantic horn-

spectacles turns

talked to

secure

me

urged

as possible

Nymphenburg,

was the discoverer of the

this

He

sincerely,

sitting at his desk,

is

still

rimmed

many works

should bring along as

(the gentlemen are able to pay), say, two to three hundred marks,

little

and

a selection.

has

known

the engrav-

show (1906), but had been unable

to

address at the time.

"Hero with the Wing," because of the size, since he wants to


But he has co-editors. Three hundred marks. Fine.

picks the

print the exact original.

Has
830.

co-editors.

Performance of The Gnome.

7.2.

on the balcony.

7.7.

Frau Fischer's.

7.19. Birth of

The

831.

And

yet

My

line!

had

7.5.

Photograph of Lily and Felix

Performance of Mrs. Warren.

7.12.

Went

with Lotmar to

Walter Lotmar.

1906/07 were my most personal possession.


them, they are threatened by some kind of cramp,

lines of

to interrupt

perhaps even by finally becoming ornamental. In short, I was frightened


and stopped, although they were deeply embedded in my emotions. The
I just couldn't make them come out. And I could not see
them around me, the accord between inside and outside was so hard to

trouble was that

achieve.

The changeover was

complete; in the

entirely to the appearance of nature

and-white landscapes on

No

sooner have

spective

makes

me

and outside??

of 1907

devoted myself

studies built

my

black-

1907/08.

mastered that stage than nature again bores me. Per-

yawn. Should

tortions in a mechanical

inside

glass,

summer

and upon these

way)?

now

How shall

distort
I

most

it

(I

have already tried

freely cast a bridge

dis-

between

229 / Munich 1908

Oh, the enchanting

line of the

sweep of

this bridge

In Bern, the uniquely beautiful angora cats

Let action be the exception, not the

832.
it

must be contrasted with

situation

must be

laid

on

dark base.

intensity

its

is

The

If

Action

rule.

a static situation. If

base for our static situation.

some day!

Nugg and Myz

want

want

is

died.

in the aorist tense;

to act light, the static

to act dark,

we need

effectiveness of the action

strong and the quantity of space occupied by

a light

when

greater

is
it

small, but

is

with slight situational intensity and great situational extension. Never give

up the all-important extension of the


static

one considers

There

833.

static

ground, however, a double action


it

On

element!

possible,

is

medium-toned

depending on whether

from the point of view of lightness or that of darkness.

are days that resemble a battle that reeks of blood.

Now

depth of night, but not for me, for the others, for the dullards

They make music,

sense the battle.


I

cannot find

sleep. In

me

the

easy, coarse songs.

fire

glows, in

still

Then

me

it

they
still

it is

the

who do not
lie

down.

burns here

window and see all the


window is still lit. Is
not another like me sitting there? There must be some place where I am not
completely alone! And now the strains of an old piano reach me, the moans
of the other wounded person.

and

there.

lights

Seeking a breath of fresh

darkened outside. Only very

One wants

air, I

far

go to the

away

a small

more than nature and one makes the


it with more means than she, instead
of fewer. Light and the rational forms are locked in combat; light sets them
into motion, bends what is straight, makes parallels oval, inscribes circles in
the intervals, makes the intervals active. Hence the inexhaustible variety.
834.

Reduction!

to say

impossible mistake of wanting to say

835.

At 11:15, departure

for

Bern with Felix and Theresa.

Bern. 8.11. Photo of the entire family. 8:12.

8.6. Arrival in

The Sew Amadis by Wieland.

and I leave for Beatenberg. 8.23. Waldbrand, Amnisbiihl. 8.24.


Lower Burgfeldalp, Habernlegi. 8.25. Gemmenalphorn, Niederhorn 8.26.
Waldbrand. 8.27. Brienzerrothorn by cogwheel train. At night, on foot from
8.21. Lily

Interlaken to Beatenberg. 8.29.

Bad weather

drives us to Bern.

230 / Diary III

Heighten the lighting process psychologically

836.

the spirit needs

it,

not where nature

up

sets

its

in places; heighten

where

highlights.

Magic. Far away from thee / immediately in front a path rises /


837.
branches out, / no path inclines, / a path inclines, suddenly vanished, /
softly awake: / through night and sun.

thou soulless

bliss,

/ o thou quarrel of the crowd, / thou cacophony /

caused by the crush of questions.

who

Already suspicious /

could squeeze his way through there?

"who could

pass through that Gate," / right in front, the Gate: / in front of

it,

straight

ahead.

And no

What

path at the

left

/ and on the right an enclosure: of delicate flowers.

There no one can come, / the fat God, / the good


gardener / demands that there: No one can come through.
And yet such a one comes, / yet such a one!
is

to be done? /

Laughter can be heard:

knows what

He
in

listen to advice,

man

of action, /

upon three

guesses nothing, / he goes through, / treads

no time

The

of heaven

is

comfortably on the other

violets

/ and,

side.

imbeciles gape, / gape after him: after him: the wight.

What

light,

among

us,

/ what wonders! /

friends with cups, / ladies with fans,

The

man

business!

and

What

feasts,

/ what nudities, /

this fop acts so familiar.

imbeciles are dazzled, / at once / they too want to leave: for the

promised land.

thousand thunders / through sleight of hand: now the gate has a wall, /
shimmer from shudder. / Covered with hair of fire / beard against

separating
beard, / a

Dusk

row of

lies in

tigers stands there.

wait.

The sounds

dissipate, only the beasts

/ are heard /

growling softly / through the night.


Until the obscure ones / without grumbling, / steal away.

838.

September.

8.

Excursion with Lily from Lanzenhausern to the Gras-

burg, then to Schwarzenburg, Guggisberg, back to Schwarzenburg.


Moilliet's. 13.

Sketched in the garden.

15.

Walk

to

9.

At Louis

Reichenbach with

Lily,

Munich 1908

231 /

Bloesch, and Lotmar. 27. Lily went back to Munich. 29. Painted on white
paint,

839.

hour

October.

Took

rival in

840.

With my

1.

in delightful spots

and fished
18.

oil

wet on wet.

there.

Papa went

2.

on foot to Neuenstadt, here an

father to Biel,

on the

on the

lake,

to

Munich.

little

came back

to pick us up.

leave from the Weltis, received three engravings as a

Munich.

31.

Our new

and skin

speak of the specific anatomy of the picture.

must not be created by the laws

"a naked person"

gift.

19. Ar-

human

beings.

Dr. Fritz Strich.

cellist:

Pictures have their skeleton, muscles,

One may

steamer to Erlach; loafed

17. Lily

of

like

picture representing

human anatomy, but

only by those of compositional anatomy. First one builds an armature on

which the picture


is

is

to

be constructed.

matter of choice; an

How

far

one goes beyond

this

armature

can proceed from the armature, a

artistic effect

deeper one than from the surface alone.

And

instead of books or hollow oaths, that

cherish a wakening, living word. Naturally people

The many
of split

intervals

words and

must be present

letters, split until

in

it,

is,

instead of official

who can

hear

at least latently.

it

lies,

are needed.

Books are made

they are sufficient in number. Only the

professional journalist has time for this.

noble writer works to

make

his

words concise, not to multiply them.

Beyond the constructive elements of the picture, I studied the tonalities


by adding layer upon layer of diluted black watercolor paint. Each
layer must dry well. In this way a mathematically correct scale of light and
of nature

dark values

nomenon
841.

is

the result. Squinting facilitates our perception of this phe-

in nature.

November.

10.

Steinbach conducts Brahms:

phony, and Academic Overture.


lin.

13.

Sent

six

Serenade,

The

chief

Symphony conducted by Mottl.


Dance of Death, and poems.

drawback

First

Sym-

drawings to the Sezession in Ber-

Beethoven's Fifth

reads an act of Censure,

842.

11.

25.

of the naturalistic kind of painting

continually return for thorough orientation and training

is

Wedekind

to

that

which
it

leaves

232 / Diary III

no room
in

ities

my

for

capacity for linear treatment. Actually no lines as such exist

merely generated

lines are

it;

By using patches

or colors.

as frontiers

of color

between areas of

and tone

it is

different tonal-

possible to capture every

natural impression in the simplest way, freshly and immediately.

Line

as

ing only

such could appear in the severely scientific-naturalist type of paint-

when

color

be

in other words, in tonal painting; to

left aside:

is

between two areas of

precise, as a substitute for the color limit

identical tonal

value and different color value in nature.

work of

independent

art goes

In fact

is
I

Van Gogh's

an

line enters in as

drawings and paintings and

In Ensor's graphic compositions the juxtaposition of

in Ensor's graphics.

the hnes

beyond naturalism the instant the

pictorial element, as in

noteworthy.

am beginning to see a way to provide a place for my line. I am


my way out of the dead-end of ornamentation where I found

at last finding

myself one day in 1907!

With new

my

strength from

naturalistic etudes,

may

dare to enter

my

prime realm of psychic improvisation again. Bound onlv very indirectly to an


impression of nature,

To

may

again dare to give form to what burdens the soul.

note experiences that can turn themselves into linear compositions even in

the blackest night. Here a

my

ing me, which only

the past.

Working

new

creative possibility has long since

in this way,

my

been await-

from isolation interfered with

in

real personality will express itself, will

be

frustration resulting

able to emancipate itself into the greatest freedom.

December

843.

8.

Moved

into a small studio:

Harold Symphony under Mottl. From the 22d


fever

up

to 104 degrees. 29.

Got

up. 31.

Two

till

Feilitzschstrasse

the 27th.

Eliasbergs,

Had

3/4.

two Sondereggers,

two Lotmars, and Professor Lotmar from Bern celebrated Christmas with
Put an extension on the

Well-composed

844.

layman draws
whole
this

is

table, a feat of

composition in

when he

believes that such a

with a second part,

it

first

us.

room.

But the

harmony

achieved by making each individual part harmonious.

can only be feeble, because once a

mony

this small

pictures strike us as completely harmonic.

a false conclusion

11.

tonsilitis,

The

of the

effect of

part has been brought into har-

no longer requires

a third part.

Only when one

2J3 /

<T\Vb

TWO

AUNTS, NUDES WITH CRESTS,


1908, 14

Munich 1908

Dwry

234 /

and two

III

are set harshly against each other does three

then carries

much

The form

845.

clude from
P.S.

occupies the foreground of our interest.

this that the

first

rank of our metier. But

contents that

it

it

It is

the object of our

would be wrong

to con-

embraces are secondary.

sent the following six pictures

necessary, in

stronger conviction.

belongs in the

efforts. It

become

harmony. This new three-part harmony

turn, to transform this harshness into

on

glass

black

watercolor

to

the

black-and-white section of the Berlin Sezession, and they were exhibited there:

"Pregnancy,"

"Street

with Courtyard," 'The Balcony,"

"Street beneath

Trees," "Children in the Construction Yard," "Musical Tea."

horror / Until his ripe old age / he was a

tickled / never did sneeze.

of his horn /

But

at the

and that was the end /

end

it

man who

came / with

/ no matter

a cannon-like

how
blow

of the administrator.

I9O9 MUNICH
January.

847.

by

Max

3.

Marees' exhibition at the Sezession, an event. Piano

Pauer. 20.

At

Blei's

recital

with India ink drawings. 24. At Meier-Grafe's

with India ink drawings. Debussy's Pelleas and Melisande, the most beautiful
opera since Wagner's death. 31. Siegfried conducted by Mottl, with Knote,

von Roy, Fassbender.

tion

pleasure that comes with artistic development may well be


some day as a manifestation of energy, but only because this liberatimes crowned with thorns.

The deep

848.

described
is

at

Rest and unrest

849.

Whenever

as

changing elements of the pictorial discourse.

a gallery-mad

in the city has his erotic crisis,

Munich

artist or

some dauber newly

he composes an "Adoration

see a female nude, a waitress, salesgirl, or the like,


her,

Herr Painter, also naked.

And

of

arrived

Woman." You

and kneeling

in front of

yet the best erotic picture hangs in the

Pinakothek, Rubens' "Bride," with a feathered, velvet cap on her head, gloves,

and

a pearl necklace

more beautiful than

real pearls.

heightened portrait

235 / Munich 1909

\>m

*, t*
-

f
J

ik,.

GIRL AND LITTLE BOY

of a

-v

ON THE FLOOR, SIMPLE CONTOURS,

woman. And, without

actually mixing

3i

1<

up with

Sallies

and Sues, one con-

stantly has the opportunity to treat people to this kind of childish stuff!

850.

A good

851.

In

picture seems incomplete until the last brush stroke.

my new workroom

have the chance to do a considerable amount

of oil painting. All sorts of experiments, always strongly inclining

Now

values.

852.

phony

and then

February.

3.

between.

moment

of liberty, like

Peasant dance.

F major by Haydn, with

in

Adagio,

9.

Minuetto,

17.

4.

11.

"Boy

Mottl conducts wonderfully

the smaller Hoforchester:

Allegro molto with a slow, minuet-like

Russian masked

toward tonal

in Fur."

ball. 20. Ball at Zoller's.

sym-

Presto,

2.

movement

in

1.

236 / Diary III

At the end of January

853.

Marees exhibition, with


see

how

first

something
I

will

would develop

come

with the same drawings.

Whereupon

went

to see Meier-Grafe,

who was

would

please keep

him

in

here for the

He wanted

But only

He

to

him by

Blei. Blei

had been

really delighted

wants to use three of them in Hyperion instead

a little later,

he

says.

the local spring Sezession turns

down

all five

my

of

drawings.

(Here follows a daily and detailed fever chart kept by Paul Klee, of

854.

to

mind. "Maybe

of it!"

had been recommended

of the etching.

a portfolio full of India ink drawings.

son Felix between March

1st

and

May

his

1909. [Editor's Note.]) [See the

8,

"Felix Calendar" at the end of the book.]

855.

This

lines.

did

illness

interrupted everything as will appear from the preceding

completely took charge of the child's care, only in the worst period

have myself replaced by a nurse. Olga Lotmar also helped

course expertly, being a doctor.


quite excellent, especially in the
ear specialist von

moment

first,

physician in charge, Dr.

nonsurgical phase.

me

often, of

Trumpp, was

Once he

called in the

Nadoleczny and twice Professor Pfaundler. From the


Trumpp began to

the throat swelling appeared at the end of March,

go wrong, declared
side.

The

it

to be tubercular, although

it

was only present on one

This error he stubbornly clung to until the operation took place.

The
The

surgeon, Dr. Gilmer, proved to be right and saved the child's


first

exceedingly dangerous

moments came

in the period

life.

from March

12th to 14th.

856.

(Case history with fever chart in the "Felix Calendar.")

857.

Nature can afford to be prodigal

frugal

down

Nature

is

in everything, the artist

must be

to the smallest detail.

garrulous to the point of confusion, let the artist be truly taciturn.

Moreover, in order to be successful,

it is

necessary never to work toward a

conception of the picture completely thought out in advance. Instead, one

must

give oneself completely to the developing portion of the area to be

237 / Munich 1909

SELF-PORTRAIT

The

painted.

total impression

derive the effect of the

is

DRAWING FOR A WOODCUT, 1909, 39

then rooted in the principle of economy: to

whole from a few

steps.

Will and discipline are everything. Discipline


whole, will as regards
here, the

man who

its

parts.

Will and

can't do, can't will.

of these parts thanks to discipline that

my works

If
is

sometimes produce

explained by

steps. It

ness.
I

is

discipline,

is

regards the

work

The work then accomplishes


is

as a

itself

out

directed toward the whole.

a primitive impression, this "primitiveness"

which

consists in reducing everything to a

no more than economy; that

Which

also

my

as

craft are intimately joined here;

is,

few

the ultimate professional aware-

to say, the opposite of real primitiveness.

saw eight pictures by Cezanne

teacher par excellence,

much more

at the Sezession. In

of a teacher than

my

eyes he

Van Gogh.

is

the

238 / Diary III


I spent the period between June and October in Bern, so that the child
might recover more quickly. The incision still had to be treated and cauterized

858.

a bit.

For

Villette,

this,

and

Stooss gave

took the trolley with Felix to the Barengraben, then to the

him on my shoulder

carried

him

to the Inselspital.

Here Professor

post-operative treatment.

phenomena
German now. Cases like "bite

did take notes on his linguistic development, but the main

and done with.

are over

It

begins to sound like

bite" ("please please") are

becoming more frequent, things learned and reThe nice thing about it is the element of mishap

peated occur more and more.

mimicry, for instance, instead of "Kuh" ("cow")

in the child's verbal

instead of "Gritli": "ti-ti"


inversions; instead of

Two
did

him good. At any

Gunten

of the

"Ko";

were the

"Schuh": "usch."

rate

he

Wohlen,

Frieswielhubel, Aarberg or

summer and autumn


them

only partially

Gemmenalphorn

Beatenberg.

of 1909.

scattered different spots as parts (tones) of the color

entire canvas, gathered

it

slept very badly.

Sigriswil, Justistal, St.

Work

859.
a)

later "ge-ge." Interesting too

sojourns in Beatenberg, one with the child; however,

Beautiful excursions:
or

and "gaga,"

harmony over

the

into figures, partly with the help of the con-

touring line;

b) Collecting forms and perspectives from nature with the ardor of a bee.

Handled them

y\

in part

Q%
861.

We

ular

mf
***

and the darkest notes

tones silently in between.

much too much concerned with biography in art, no matter


it may be to investigate problems like Van Gogh and Ensor.
to writers, who can't help being writers. I want to know, at least

are

captivating

We owe this
right

by rendering

the lightest notes

The middle

how

in part in calligraphic-linear fashion,

now,

work

picture

an experiment occasionally to be made, the tone of the partic-

as

as such.

and

examine the

just

want

what

common

is

to find out

good about

whether or not I'm looking


this particular

work.

at a

good

don't want to

feature of a series of works or the differences

between

239 / Munich 1909

two

series of

luck to

no such pursuit of history

works

individual act in

itself,

become good,

and were

it

for

me

but to consider the

only a single work that accidentally had the

happened with two or three

as recently

my

of

"paint-

ings."

my

For the fact of

not painting good pictures with

from

regularity results precisely

my

measure of

a certain

imperfect knowledge of what makes a

good individual work.

How
sense,

by one of these masters

picture

862.

am

am

am

is

constructed as a matter of

well acquainted with the ethos that

But both

are unnecessary to

simple as a

little

folk tune.

fits

this sphere.

me

at present.

difficulty

behind, but

"it

about

it is

On

the contrary,

is

just to

thyself,

thou gate

a joyful existence here

in the depths,

me

who senses light.


And bright hands come and

seize

me,

friendly words are spoken joyously:

Forth, you beautiful pictures, wild beasts,


spring forth from thy cage
that fingers

eye.

and now??

catch up with developments that already

Cell underground, release

and

ought to be

no hurry. Let pathos be overcome.

must be done!"

Open

ought to be candid and sensuous, an open

Why try to tear oneself violently away from

863.

fact.

it.

Let ethos wait in the distance. There

The

a particular

mundane

equally well acquainted with the pathetic region of music and easily

conceive pictorial analogies for

as

difference, in the biographical

well acquainted with the Aeolian-harp kind of melodies that re-

sound within.
I

knows the

well every tenth person

between Rubens and Rembrandt. But no one knows how

may glide

lovingly

on flaming hide.
And all is one as once in God's garden:
day and night,
and sun and splendor of stars.
(In the paradise of those trembling with poetry.

lie

HI

240 / Diary

Hyperion Verlag

864.

tion to Meier-Grafe.

And

hind the scene.


a decision,

the to-do and the

first,

turn into something

it'll

when

went

some

to take

in the jargon of

Now

contempt:

day."

back from

sleeping firm, something appropriate for Berlin they

me back

recommenda-

then Meier and Grafe hadn't quite been able to work out

surmise, for

At

in all likelihood they listened to his opinion be-

and he probably uttered an oracle

"Well, maybe
This

acts bizarrely.

Then

this publishing firm, this

more than

willingly gave

everything.

what kind

of a

head

is

this Blei, this

noble blockhead? Didn't he a

The

short time ago discover the local genius Mayershofer!

Giessen, the baker boy four stories

And

tall!

baboon from

latest

surely completely without any

Meiers and Grafes. For the bearer of these two names has something after
too

much

ever to be taken in so easily

my

opinion about
Bleis

wanted

future actually been optimistic, and was

to be the only ones to have

The problem

never be solved, so

will

by Mayershofer. Or

flair,

let's

to be

wipe

on

all,

had the bearer's


it

that the vain

the track of

new

talent?

sponge over the tracks of the

whole business.

865.

Project for illustrations: Voltaire's

Candide with

provides innumerable stimuli for illustration. Sonderegger

the Sentimental Journey which, as a result,

The

pleasure.

read,

and

condensed riches

its
is

more

in favor of

certainly with great

fewer temptations for illustrations don't compensate, however,

speaking

for the inferiority

which

mentally

as the illustrator

now want

to

become

recognize in this work. In Candide there

is

experi-

something

higher that attracts me, the exquisitely spare and exact expression of the

Frenchman's

866.

style.

December.

am

almost thirty years old;

this scares

me

a little.

"You've

had your time, your dreams, your fantasies. What really matters now is to be
what you can. Realism now and no affected high-fantastics henceforth!"
But the vagabond will remain incurable, that's sure!

The

Berlin Sezession didn't accept without a hitch this time, but at least

it

accepted the best, not the worst, as the jury on the Konigsplatz here does.
First,

the "Sketch of a Portrait in Chiaroscuro" after Felix, and second, the

"Caricature of a

Woman

in Negligee," charcoal

and watercolor.

24i /

?fcr >kK

PORTRAIT OF

MY SISTER IN PROFILE,

1909, 24

Munich 1909

242 / Diary III


867.

Horrible messy piece of writing with the purpose of patching up the

tattered marriage of the E***s: "Z. has freely decided to

the belief that a


conviction and
considers

it

new

life

can be

show her what

a strong

868.

hope you

come back

to you, in

will strengthen Z. in this

man you have now become. Even


moment of change. Not pity

unjust to abandon you in such a

decency brings her back to you.


proof."

rebuilt.

(The things one

Win

she

but

her again by giving her the necessary

writes out of the kindness of one's heart!

Felix talks: "Nic," this

means "kin(d)/'

that

is,

"child"; in short,

he

inverts the sounds. "Pipar" ("Papier"); previously, "usch" ("shoe").


First sentences: "dat
is

daddy!" "Dat

When

dada").

si

si

daddy" (that

foot," "dat

si

is

daddy).

The

following month: "dat

light"; "whereishe?" "there-si!"

he hears children's

voices,

("coocoo

he rushes to the window and

screams: "nic!"

Ended

the year with Morgenstern's Gallows Songs.

1910
January.

The pantograph, system

The function of this pantograph is to enlarge or to reduce the scale of drawTo enlarge: plant the needle at No. 1, the guide point which passes over

ings.

the drawing to be enlarged on No.

enlargement on No.

3.

2,

(For reduction

and the pencil which makes the desired


in scale: needle at No. 1, point for pass-

ing over at No. 3, pencil at No. 2.) The dimensions of the


mined by displacing evenly screws 5 and 6. (For unenlarged
No. 2, point and pencil at No. 1 and 3 or No. 3 and 1.)

System B

copies are detercopies: needle at

Munich 1910

243 /

EF

Let ruler

AC

diagonal

point

attached to

is

CD

be parallel to

and AB. At point

EF, the needle

interseets

and the pencil

is

proportion of size of the two figures a and o

AO

to

equals

AE

to

ED

O, where
axis.

The

to C.

The

OC

of intersection

planted as immovable

the same.

is

and ean be changed

by displacing

as desired

the ruler EF.

Prepare a base for painting by mixing paint powder and water con-

871.

taining glue

and apply

it

like a

that will set off both light

chalk base; this enables one to work on a base

and dark tones from the

mortuum. Against white, any

outset.

For instance, caput

element appears dark from the outset, and

light

by the time one has managed to subdue the white, the whole thing has gone
wrong. Relativity of

This
First,

is

why

all

values!

was so pleased with the creation of

applying a layer,

light gray layer gives at

left

once

dark against the blanks. But

main points

the

and produce

new

way

dried layer,

enrich the

remain blank

the ensuing process. In

in

advance step by step toward greatest depth, and consider

measuring technique fundamental

Beauty

is

as relative as

woman, none
ful

first

stage of logical development. Naturally the

parts left blank in the earlier phases


this

appears quite

it

leave out the points of light of secondary

importance, and apply a second layer on the


picture greatly

black watercolors.

because

a very tolerable effect,

when

my

of light blank. This extremely

woman

at

will

all,

and dark. Thus, there

light

this time-

as regards tonality.

because you are never certain that

no beautiful

exists

a still far

more

beauti-

not appear and completely shame the supposed beauty of the

first.

On

872.

and
I

Shrove Tuesday the greater part of the winter

quick retrospective glance

cannot say that the survey

capable of painting, in spite of


spite of

The

my

clever

way

is
is

lies

safely behind,

in order.
a

my

cheering one this tune, lor

am

still

in-

sharp observation of tonal values and in

of determining the proper gradations of light

and dark.

transfer of the time-measuring technique to oil paint cannot be carried

through very successfully,

in spite of gasoline!

Now

attempt to stage simul-

taneously a light action and a dark one against a middle ground, and to bolster

244 / Diary III

murmuring modulation
some goal.

these active elements by a softly

Perhaps

this will also lead to

March.

873.

And now

an altogether revolutionary discovery: to adapt one-

the contents of the paintbox

self to

study.

must some day be able

of the middle tones.

is

more important than nature and

to improvise freely

its

on the chromatic keyboard

of the rows of watercolor cups.

The

874.

light-form.

By

this

mean

the conversion of the light-dark expanse

according to the law by which lighted areas grow larger


areas of mathematically equal size. This

my

when opposed

to dark

was observed previously by focusing

eye unsharply (as distinguished from the squinting used for measuring

chiaroscuro).

Now

carried through with greater thoroughness

by means of

lens (glass eye).

This magnifying

glass brings into

the natural phenomenon. All detail

The

view at the same time the color essence of


is

simply eliminated.

attitude of the will during this process

form be dissolved by the

light expansions,

is

the following: not to let the

but instead to end by recapturing

them and binding them firmly to each other.


phenomenon in stone. Neo-plasticism, who knows!

these motions, contouring

imagine

875.

this optical

April.

Launched

new

white thinned out in linseed


surface lightly

can

offensive against the fortress of painting. First,


oil as a

by applying very

general base. Second, color the entire

large areas of different colors that

one other and that must remain

free of

swim

into

effect of chiaroscuro. Third, a

any

drawing, independent of and substituting for the unformulated tonal values.

Then,

at the end,

some

bass notes to

ward

off flabbiness,

not too dark, but

colored bass notes.

This

is

transfer of

876.

the style that connects drawing and the realm of color, a saving

my

fundamental graphic talent into the domain of painting.

Cultivation of the

tonal values in

itself;

means

in their

pure

state: either the

proportion of

or line, as a substitute for omitted tonal values (as a

boundary between tonal values); or


For, in art, everything

is

else contrasts of color values.

best said once

and

in the simplest way.

245 / Munich 1910


Puccini's

Madame

affair.

devil of cross-breeding already

and return to the

most

few

in a

first

Limited palette:

878.

and

6.

Possibly also

watching!

A warm

few passages of

in their

break

pure

off

The

state,

the

the struggle

brushstroke at

but in no case so as to give the impression of mass!

1.

white,

2.

black,

3.

Naples yellow,

4.

caput mortuum,

permanent green and ultramarine. And the grays need


Naples yellow-black. Cool gray: white-black.

gray:

shadow image, of the chiaroscuro time-measuring

June. Transfer of the

879.

shows up again. Must

position: "the brushstroke in itself"?

situations,

better.

May. Now, before the types have been cultivated

877.

5.

Moving

Butterfly with Bosetti.

good music, La Boheme

way that each degree (the number of


minimum), each degree of tonal value,

process into the realm of color, in such a

degrees
that

is,

color

is

be reduced to the

to

strict

corresponds to one color; in other words, one must not lighten a

by adding white to

it

or darken

by adding black, but there must always

it

be one color to a degree. For the next degree, the next color. Ocher, English
red,

caput mortuum, dark madder,

P.S. Rational: the

etc.

shadow image;

irrational: the color image.

two cannot be melted into agreement, but

it

should at least be

Perhaps the

tried!

Gluck's Iphigenia in Tauris, Mottl; Iphigenia: Fassbender; Orestes: Fein-

performance.

hals; stirring

Marquis von Keith with Wedekind


spends himself on his
880.

July.

hope

to sell

am

more

own

holding
there

in the

main

role; strange to see

how he

work. Alien to me, but piquant!!!

my

first

one-man show

in Switzerland, because

and because "circumstances" already have made

me

known there to some extent. I start with the Kunstmuseum in Bern (August)
Then follows the Zurich Kunsthaus in October, and finally perhaps an art
gallery in

Winterthur. Fifty-six items,

Kunsthalle will follow, on January

1,

all

nicely framed. Finally, the Basel

1911.

Wittikofen

100-

1.

1909 Landscape with oak

2.

1909 Five oaks

100.-

3.

1909 Belpberg

100-

246 / Diary III

5.

1910 Young

6.

1909

7.

1909

8.

1909

Tree over shrubbery


Light form
Beatenberg Birenfluh
Beatenberg Garden of the Hotel
Beatenberg Hotel Seen from Below

9.

1910

The

10.

1910

New

11.

1909 Quarry near Ostermundigen, Seen from

4.

1909 Belpmoos

woman

Isar after

it

Rose

100.80.-

100.80.-

100.-

Military Avenue

alley

50.-

Above

80.-

The Round

12.

1909 Children Playing

13.

1909 Quarry near Ostermundigen, Seen from Be-

50.-

low

100.-

14.

1910 Orchard near Munich

15.

1910 Orchard

16.

1909

Man

100.-

small

50.-

Peasant with Trees

100.-

Drinking

ioo.-

17. 1910 Girls Playing (scrawled)

Eggholz
Path through Forest Hirschau

18.

1909 Leafy wood

50.-

ioo.-

(charcoal)

19.

1907

20.

1909 Bird Cage (pencil)

21.

1909 Study of a Head

22.

1910 Etching

23.

1908 Busy Square

24.

1907 Quarry (charcoal and watercolor)

ioo.50.-

Lily (pencil)

ioo.50.-

Balcony

200.150.-

200.-

25. 1909 Asters (watercolor)


26.

1910 Garden (watercolor, wet on wet)

200.-

27.

1909 Near Munich (pen and dabs with brush)


1909 Child on Collapsible Chair (black tones,

120.-

28.

large)

150.-

29.

1909 Child on Collapsible Chair (small)

30.

1909 After

31.

1910 Lilac

120.

32.

1910 Set Table

100.

my

33. 1909 Fruit bowl


34.

100.

Father (not for sale)

1909 Head of a

100.

Woman

35. 1909 Asters by the

(glass)

Window

100.

120.

247 / Munich 1910

100300-

36.

1907 Betty (colored chalks)

37.

1910 Footbridge in Rain (watercolor)

38.

1910 Garden near Munich (watercolor

banal)
Steamboat (watercolor)
Sugiez Canal, Near Lake (more

39.

1910 Sugiez

40.

1910

41.

1910 Sugiez

like

150.150.-

150.-

sketch

Breaking

42.
43.

Canal,

200-

toward North (sold)

Waves

1909 Sketches of Children

(six

pen drawings)

50.-

44. 1910 Near Munich (reduced by means of pantograph)


45. 1910 Near Munich

Military

100-

Gravel Pit with

Houses (playing)
46.

1909 Oberwiesenfeld;

100.-

The Houses Near

the

100-

Military Gravel Pit


47. 1909 Schleissheim
48.

Facade of
Woman

1909 Seamstress and

49. 1909

Justistal

100.-

the Castle

(pen drawing)

(drawing pen

disproportionate)

50.

1910 Bern

51.

1909 Bern with Cathedral (brush dabbings)

52.

1909 Bern

50.-

100-

(pen drawing)

Meadow with School House

80.-

100-

(brush
80.-

dabbings)

881.

W oodcut
r

53.

1909 Drawing for

54.

1909 Dancers

55.

1910 Road to Schwabing

56.

1910 View (pen)

Summer

in Bern.

10010050.-

100.-

August-September. Watercolor, wet on wet, on paper

sprinkled with water. Swift, nervous

work with

a specific resonance,

whose

parts are scattered over the whole.


Similarly,

pen drawings on paper sprinkled with water and covered with

naive contours, on which

applied tangent spots, from within and from with-

out in turn, with the brush.


I

twice visited the region of

sulted at once.

The

first

Murtcn

for a day. In

time was lovely

summer

both cases

weather, and

few works
I

re-

crossed the

248 / Diary III

and Miintschemier, making

great bog, leaving the road that connects Kerzers

This wasn't such easy going, and

for Sugiez.

over

many

throwing

a water-filled ditch.

my

to follow.

At the

leaped nimbly through the

largest one,

air

gave myself courage by

painting gear across ahead of me; after that, the owner just had

(A ten-yard run before jumping!) Such

when

tours are nice

you're

alone and arrange everything without having to consult anyone but yourself.

The summer
one point

is

sultry

met some

and

this has a strong effect

What

very strange in Switzerland.

Then

a large stud

paused and

ous hiking

From

point

this

farm appeared:

set

on the

flora of

who understood none

foreign laborers

of

the bog.

my

country did they come from? Poland.

''Belle

Chasse." After two hours of strenu-

up camp below the bridge on the Broye

wandered here and

October.

man

did

some

autumn had already come

along and consequently took

the Broye, in the afternoon

it

a bit easier.

we climbed up on

home. Here

at

The main

shooting!

The second time

where the thrushes are

at Sugiez.

there, lay in wait for the little steamer,

allowed myself to be mocked by automobilists from Neuchatel.


thing was that

dragged the old

In the forenoon we fished in

Mont

the marvelous

quickly noted

down

few

Vuilly,

views. In the

evening a steamer took us to Murten, where we arrived in an enchanted

by

nightfall.

The end

is

At

languages,

banal;

Other excursions brought


Langeberg (Butschelegg).

we

me and

We

mood

waited until the silly train at last arrived.


Lily into the region of the Belpberg, the

spent a few days in

St.

Beatenberg, already

very late, the weather not too good.

November.

Finally,

the Gurbe, through the

went once on

much

hunting tour along the

strange creatures scurried across the river bank.

suppressed, suspicious laughter. As a result,

horde of Indians suddenly

fell

left

bank of

smaller Belpmoos. In this most lonely region,

on

me

my

On

reaching this spot

fright wasn't too great

with war whoops.

pletely covered with a red handkerchief.

Amid

One had

his face

first

com-

crackling gunfire, they danced

around me, the victim. The gang soon calmed down, since they saw that
proof even against the

heard

when

was

shock of surprise.

At night they again sweetened the banality of

my way home:

the dusty road

from Kehrsatz to Wabern. Tired and tame, they passed me, and whooped
briefly

and mechanically,

kindly peasant had let

all

them

of

them

ride.

stretched out

on

wagon on which the

249 / Munich 1910

READING ON THE BED, 1910,

It

was

a beautiful

summer. Lily was even quite willing

to

remain in Switzer-

land.

But
882.

"didn't

make

move."

December. After getting back to Munich,


Schwabing;

intrigue in
living in

Schwabing

Toward

may

also

home

These wax

dolls
it's

find a really delightful


I

happen

to be

too.

of Lotte Pritzel,

moved her

really

be involved obliquely since

the beginning of the year

dolls at the

(Aside:

it

seems that

who was

Z., E.'s wife,

saw some wax

the mistress of a good

many men.

deeply.

amusing

to see the

community

get excited over tidbits

like these.)

Out

of the depth of her emotion, she copied the dolls, the only difference

being that by error her figures lacked a wire armature and had bodies molded
all

the

way through, and thus stood

fixed

and immovable: wax

statuettes.

250 / Diary III

Now

husband, had tried to cover up the story of their

E., the

origin, a fact

about which our cello-playing gentleman, the brother of one of Lotte's

complained to me. The

art critic

"How

Lotte only after exclaiming:

But an

art critic

is

human

lovers,

Michel was said to have been wised up by

being

strange,

saw such

as well as a lover,

dolls just recently."

and might have given

Lotte the reputation of being dishonest.

my

Even
set, for

friend Earnest,

he deemed

it

seems, belongs completely to the Schwabing

it

important enough to whisper into Lotte's

ear:

"Your

being copied!" Later he brought written proof of this allegation by

dolls are

exhibiting a copy of a letter by


his joy at the

thought of

how

were to be shown in public

So Earnest had

his joke

E., in

which the

latter gives vent to

would

be,

if

Z.'s dolls

first!

completely earnest, since he

and wrote him

husband

furious those little Pritzels

this

was something about which he couldn't be

still

got along quite well with E., sketched him,

friendly dedications!

him the copy of the passage of


Whereupon E. took Earnest in
passage himself, but demanded

In the meantime Lotte got at E. and showed


his letter that Earnest

had jokingly passed

on.

bloody earnest and not only denied the said


that Earnest issue a written denial too.

Earnest, however, refused to admit that he


joke;

he

finally

had

lied

and merrily kept up the

placed the original manuscript in which E. had set forth his

request into Lotte's hands (Lotte's hands are said to be lovely).

Whereupon

E. exclaimed,

883.

Kubin

1910.

Dear Madam. In

writes Z.:

"Damn

"Wernstein

like

priced favorably,

if

for

him

is

by Ernst])

pieces of

would

to send

work

too.

is

up."

like to acquire a small

him with my

me

few items

drawing by Klee

greetings.
for

me

to

What

should

choose from

possible, for a fellow artist. His marvelously logical recent

development (an example of


[this

game

am Inn, Upper Austria, November 22d,


my visit, I have a favor to ask of you

to transmit this wish to

most would be

the

recollection of

which perhaps you can do me.

and beg you

it,

interests

The

it

me

hangs in your home, under the fake Ensor


especially,

but

let

him

enclose

some older

things will be sent back by return mail, registered,

etc.,

Alfred Kubin."
In short, an act of recognition outside of Schwabing;

felt flattered

by the

251 /

*/&

po

CARICATURE OF A PIECE OF FURNITURE, I9IO, 15

Munich 1910

/<*cW<4&w

^ainZ

252 / Diary III

and sent the

fact

pieces.

Munich,

factory near

He

chose "Canal Harbor," which

drawing done

in the late

autumn

is

actually an ice

of 1910, a light-form

executed by imposing spots on

lines, wet on wet, for forty marks, and wrote


me: "Dear Herr Klee, Your beautiful consignment (I am keeping one piece)

has given

me

them

but

am

all,

wonderful pleasure. Of course what


it's

the same old story.

always encouraged

Didn't we both

start

when

come upon good

would

like best

is

to keep

efforts

neighboring

my

own.

out from abstractions, to find ourselves today with

deeper empathy for the actual world?

shall

the beginning of January and also pay you a

am

find your progress really admirable;

come

to

visit. I

Munich

for a

few days at

hope you won't be away.

sending back your things tomorrow. I've enclosed a small work by myself;

please consider

it

a token of

my

gards, your devoted Alfred Kubin.

gratitude for your kindness!

December

With

best

re-

16th, 1910."

Small satyr play. Winterthur, November 21, 1910, addressed to Herr

884.

Klee, painter in Bern:

"Your works have been on show

at

our gallery since

November

15th.

We

are obliged to note, however, that the great majority of the visitors expressed

very unfavorable opinions about your works, and several well known, respected

As a result, we beg you to tell


away what we should do; perhaps you might send us explanations
about your work which we could hand out to the visitors of the exhibition.
Hoping to hear from you, we remain respectfully yours, The Art Gallery at
High House."
My reply: "Dear Sir, Your embarrassment is certainly regrettable. But as a
connoisseur of art you have no doubt heard that, here and there, good artists

personalities asked us to stop displaying them.

us right

have come into conflict with the public. Without trying to compare myself
to anyone,

now

need only mention the familiar name of Hodler, whose bearer

does handsomely, in spite of earlier friction.

his works, provides explanations of


art.

That

Zytig,

tween
fully,

is

the

October
us,

artist

who,

little

in addition to

confidence in his

and I refer you to the review by Trog, Neue Ziiri


At the end of the time of exhibition agreed be-

critics' role,

30, 1910.

be so kind

Klee."

An

them must have

as to

send the works to the Kunsthalle in Basel. Respect-

Munich 1910

253 /
Light considered from the draftsman's point of view.

885.

To

represent light by

means

of light elements

movement is somewhat newer.


I am now trying to render light simply
handle energy
I

call to

black on a white surface,

in

mind

is

old

stuff.

Light as color

unfolding energy. x\nd

as

when

ought to hit the mark again.

the entirely reasonable black

made by

on photographic

light

negatives.

Moreover, the

lesser thing

always

is

made

special note of, so

one imagines

means

the situation of singling out a few highlights on a white surface by

of

lines.

To heap up an
lights!

untold quantity of energy

That would be the

lines,

because of these few high-

real negative!

ADDENDUM TO JULY 19IO


"Dear Dr.

886.

Blei:

Since at one time you expressed such strong interest in

how Hyperion

be interested in knowing

mained
ago,

silent, silent, silent.

Moreover,

had sent you the zinc plate

for

acted toward

it

my work,
in

you might

due course:

'The Hero with the Wing," which was

being considered. Since the publishing house also remains silent about

would be very grateful


ble!

Yours

(P.S.

887.

you

if

you could inform

me

about

will

have noticed

be able to

tell

as

soon

this, I

as possi-

how

dissociate

him from the publishing house,

the "publishing house" the truth.)

Another pleasant exchange with

a publishing house.

"Light and Shadow." At the request of someone or other,


1.

"Construction Yard," pen drawing, 1910,

2.

"Hannah,

3.

"Steamer on Canal," pen and brush,

Profile,"

This one
sent in:

pen and brush, 1910,

4.

"Gravel," pen and brush,

5.

"On

the Thunersee" (house and boats near the Hiinegg),

pen and brush,


6.

it

sincerely, Klee."

He

in order to

to

it re-

have a request to make: two years

"Cart on

Way

to

Market," pen and brush,

is

called

254 / Diary

HI

7.

"Bern," pen and brush,

8.

"Hannah's Head, front view," pen and brush.

Addendum:

after three quarters of a year, the decision

was negative.

1911
January. Kubin,

888.

that he carried

me

my

away.

benefactor, has arrived.

We actually sat entranced

He

acted so enthusiastic

in front of

my

drawings!

Really quite entranced! Profoundly entranced!!

He

returned that night for our music session, with Karl and Maria Caspar.

In his enthusiasm, he didn't even fear such calm witnesses as these.

"As regards development, you are the

first

them all! Is it not so.


have some hope for my

of

."
.

devel(Whereupon he slipped in: ) "I trust you also


opment?" In saying this, his voice succeeded in sounding magnificently sincere.

He

is

certainly a fascinating person, an incredible

mimic!

much

he musical? His assertion that music excites him too

Is

The Swabian

couple had their quiet fun about

for the first time;

happy

She's as

She saw

is

suspicious.

my

drawings

how deep an impression they make on her.


about them. He is more precise, spoke of baroque

one cannot

as a lark

it all.

tell

Gothic, a catch-phrase that Kubin greeted with vigorous applause.


I

don't want to

know about

it!

telligent in the professional part.

889.

Z.

brought the

art critic

want

The

rest

to be stupid about these things. Inis

in the

Wilhelm Michel.

hands of God!

In the spring of 1910 certain

works had somehow been shown to him, without success.


things,

suppose, have changed for him. After

all,

Now

number
him

there was no Z. for

of
at

the time.

sweet Schwabing.

He

quickly suggested that

we undertake

to

thing together and finally went off with a whole pile of drawings.

do some-

The

first

attempt was supposedly made on Herr Koch, a former traveling salesman in


wall paper,

now

Councillor Koch and Publisher of Kunst

("Art and Decoration").

Gallery

didn't like

my

work and

und Dekoration

for the days

ahead

Then an attack was launched


the former custom tailor Thannhauser who now owns the Modern
in the Arco Palace. This worthy, who had returned my works to me

predicted a new, loving


against

He

manner

of execution.

255 /

unopened when

him

dealt with

personally,

now

Munich 1911

said yes, in principle, to

"the influential gentleman of the press."


In half a year, the gentleman of the press was transformed by love, the

owner by

gallery

fear.

The gentleman
quite modest,

we

are

of the press

and has begun

human

all

beings!

very pleasant, doesn't hold forth

is

behave

to

much,

acts

an uncle toward Felix. But then

like

This holds true everywhere, and especially in

Schwabing!

February.

890.
still

in

892.

my

Am

am

starting a precise catalogue of

all

the works that are

possession.

continuing to play with a dark notation for light-energy.

My

in-

terpretation, in the sense of a photographic negative, can yield thoroughly


positive pictorial results against the white

In addition,

am

background.

attempting to arrive at

tion while preserving order. In studying this


device. Theoretically, the

To

get

around

a gasoline

lamp

this flaw,

on
is

glass.

best,

rhythmically distorted composi-

problem

pantograph might be

sulting distorted picture can't often

correct drawing

resort to a

set incorrectly,

darkened the room and

because the

size of the

lit

drew an ordinary
a candle,

though

flame can be easily regulated.

placed the glass pane at an angle between the source of light and the
sheet of paper,

which

lies

new

horizontally on the table.

Result: In the "correct" image,


or distorted

re-

be predicted.

thought of the following:

Then

mechanical

but the

image shows the

we

find

AB, BC, CD, whereas the projected

reverse, A1B1, B1C1,

C1D1.

i$6 / Diary III


In each case

made

the most varied experiments by altering the angle of

inclination of the glass plate until


satisfactory to

hit

upon the conversion

me. But each conversion was

of the image

somehow by

justified

most

the fact that

the disproportioning obeyed a rule.

In

many

cases,

finished off the composition

"What

Impressionist principle:

893.

Two

don't

like, I

by applying the basic pseudo-

cut away with the scissors."

graphic simplification: the characteristic minority

liberties of

is

noted down; for instance, in a snowy landscape with a great, great deal of
snow, the few remaining parts without snow are indicated

as

black energy

(black in nature and black in the rendition), or in a dark landscape with few

few

lights, these

One may
894.

lights are also indicated as black energy (white in nature).

even imagine the two instances combined in one scene.

Now

again need the contour, that

sionisms which are fluttering around. Let

it

it

gather and capture the impres-

be the

spirit ruling

over nature.

SPRING
895.

All the things an artist

And now

catalogue of

must be: poet, explorer

have become a bureaucrat


all

my

artistic

as well

productions ever since

out only the school drawings, studies of nudes,

of nature, philosopher!

by compiling

etc.,

my

a large, precise

childhood.

have

left

because they lack creative

self-sufficiency.

896.
as

In spite of love and fear,

was thought

at

my one-man show

The two Hebrews

first.

commercial incentive in

my one-man

is

not materializing so easily

Brackl and Thannhauser find no

debut. If you are so brash as to stand out

how you

become

from the average, you must

at least

be famous. But

famous without exhibiting

a point

on which the two gentlemen can

advice.

And

is

the gentleman of the press

is

influence adequately in the proper place.


rather tends in this day
different.

are to

give

no

too befuddled by love to exert his

Anyone who has

so

many

children

and age to be neurasthenic. In Bach's time things were

257 / Munich 1911

YOUNG MAN RESTING ( SELF-PORTRAIT )

To put

it

briefly

19II, 42

and bluntly: the hallway offered by Herr Thannhauser was

a little offensive. In

consequence, one

first

had

a try at

Herr Brackl. The

latter

wrote back very nicely:

"In these works, which


here and

would be

it

where people primarily look


honorable

there

is

for paintings

Artists' Association 'Scholle,'

taken in graphic
able to

sell

something quite out of the ordinary

shame, therefore, to exhibit these plates in

artists of

and

specifically for the

and where absolutely no

extreme modern tendency

creations of that sort

(I

am

can hear him saying

my

gallery,

works of the
interest

is

practically never
this in his tenor

voice).

In appreciation of your truly great talent


serve

Herr \\ llhelm Michel,

would sav

ves,

and
but

in

in

my

joyful willingness to

view of

etc., etc., etc."

258 / Diary III


In conclusion, this laurel-wreathed ass sent

me

to Littauer, to Steinicke,

to Bertsch, to Putze, etc.

"Do

not take this refusal badly and do not hold

it

against your respectfully

devoted Franz Josef Brakl."

Thereupon, we returned ruefully

to

Thannhauser and contented

with the hallway and the limited number of thirty items.


the beginning of June.

have

many more

The gentleman

It will

of the press said consolingly:

now

exhibits; let's not start out

ourselves

take place in

"You

will

with the most favorable con-

ditions."

Came

897.

out of a certain depression that threatened to overcome

ing to external "success"; shook myself vigorously.


I

De

lack the whining, purgative organ for a

Father Voltaire was pleased with

beckoned to me.

was there

Candide. Following his paths,

had been

viously

perhaps

in

its

had

he never moaned

and started

found many

at

my

either,

once to

ow-

and

illustrate

weight was shifted, which pre-

proper place, as was indispensable to

actually recovered

me

to shake myself, for

Profundis.

this, for

in a trice

real self at this point,

my equilibrium;
my opinions in

though

the matter are uncertain to this day.

Concurrently, attempts at mediation with the outer world were made,

1911/41, 1911/42, 43, etc., but then the sciences brought a diversion, while
for the time being nothing happened with Candide, except struggling and

more

struggling. Finally in the beautiful

spring began to

awaken here

too.

With

MM

[Month

of

May]

a kind of

the desired equilibrium, the work be-

gan to move ahead.


I

really

main

wanted

to say

superstitiously

898.

in a single person.

beautiful things, but

am and

shall re-

fanfares.

Johannes Mescaert sang. The

combined
Poet's

many more

opposed to

man

From "The

is

Vogl, Gura, Joachim, and Casals

Miller's Songs"

by Schubert. "The

Love" by Schumann. As encores, Schumann's "Moonlit Night," "Ich

hort ein Bachlein rauschen," and

still

another song by Schubert.

Caesar and Cleopatra, a witty play by Shaw. Very well played, Steinriick

and Terwin,

etc.

259 / Munich 1911

SCENE IN THE RESTAURANT, 1911,

The

899.

progresses.
it is

longer

But

my

just

production moves

broadening into a

lake.

was the faithful image of

and beyond

it. I

hope

wanted

it

don't want to say that

to

know

will

all

norance, and to assimilate

to be

happening to the stream:

not lack a corresponding depth.

a part of art history;

was not dilettantism that made


esty:

in a definite direction, the less gaily it

now something new seems

grew out of

it; I

this small-scale replica

hope

this

is

not

so. It

out of me, but mod-

these things, so as not to bypass any out of

some

parts,

moved toward Impressionism

ig-

no matter how small, of each domain

that was to be given up.

At present, I begin to understand many things about Van Gogh. I develop


more and more confidence in him, partly because of his letters of which I own
a selection.
It

He was

cannot be

historical clock
art history. It

able to reach deep, very deep into his

easy, in fact, for

anyone

moves more harshly

never stops though;

it

to

hum- by such

in the present

only seems

to,

own
a

heart.

landmark, for the

than in the meditation of

on foggy

days.

260 / Diary III


Perhaps he did not say
called

upon

he had

all

to, so

that a few others might

still

be

to complete the revelation?

It is particularly

Van Gogh

tempting to view

in historical retrospect

how

he came without a break from Impressionism and yet created novelty.


His line

more

It is

The
at the

is

new and

yet very old,

a question of

and happily not

a purely

European

affair.

reform than of revolution.

realization that there exists a line that benefits

same time conquers

it

from Impressionism and

has a truly electrifying effect on me. "Progress

possible in the line!"

The

possibility ripened in

me

of harmonizing

firmly restraining linear boundaries.

And

this will

my

bear for

the line that eats and digests scribbles. Assimilation.

empty, but not for

much longer!
I now have

In lucid moments,

my

inner

self.

First the

cramped

The

me

scribbles with

a further fruit:

spaces

still

look a bit

a clear view of twelve years of the history of


self,

disappearance of the blinkers and the


self

swarming

that self with the big blinkers, then the


self,

now

gradually the reemergence of a

without blinkers.

It is

good that one didn't know

this in

advance.

SUMMER
We spent the summer in

900.

Switzerland. It was hot, very hot;

can

recall

They were much cooler, even


though they too were extremely hot. This far hotter summer even burned my
brow (clear through the roof). Often it was the real South. The absolutely
unadulterated South. Only the water of the old Aare was cool, like mother
some hot summers, but none

glacier, like
It

mother

so hot as this.

glacier.

had already begun

in

Munich and one went

daily to bathe in

Wiirm,

to

bathe daily in Wiirm, day after day to bathe in Wiirm. Roses were blooming

blooming roses swam by.


and took our leave from the blooming roses,
ming roses. Never again will you bathe in this still far hotter summer, far
hotter summer. You will forget what little you know about swimming, and

there,

which one swam

Sadly,

you

will

we bathed our

by, the
last

crumble, crumble into sweat and dust.

Munich 1911

261 /

CANDIDE, CHAP.

The

7,

dust in Bern

Even from the


of

mother

train

white, white as flour.

saw the floury

in the train said: "I

to dive into the


I

is

And

the water

lines of the streets of

is

pure melted

ice.

Bern and the waters

glacier sparkling icily below.

Someone
fever,

1911, 63

still

know someone,

Aare before the day

managed

is

engender admiration, a

to

know someone who's

going

over." Close to despair, in the throes of


full

dose of admiration, for

this hero!

And

as the excessive

heat continued, another hero was born.

to the "Buber," like so

many

there where the waters of

"Oh!
hero and

It's

mother

like a seal (I

came too and

wrote

many

trekked

heroes, trekked there daily,

glacier rushed.

hot today! 120 degrees!"

swam

Later she

heroes, so

And

it

And

to

my

even Professor Lotmar became a


wife)

also joined the ranks of the heroes. Variety

brought to the daily routine (the repetitive heroism), by the lakes of

was

Thun

262 / Diary III

and

The

Biel.

known

Sinners too were heroes and so was godfather "Molie," also

Uncle "Lui." Heroes along with

as

us.

day on the island (Schanschaagrousseau) was not at

were more or

less able to

morn." Then the older members of the party went on


glasses,

and scanned the timetable,

was against the timetable,

on

it

had ever

Meanwhile,

run.

right in the waiting

because no train

as always,

My wife giving me hard


found

yet

We

bad.

still

it

strike,

put on their

room.
I

had ever looked up

looks.

a train sneaked into the station, just the

had not

ever, they

all

walk from Biel to Tiischerz in "the coolness of the

one we needed. How-

on the timetable. And they didn't

black on black; they wanted to see

it

trust

it,

black on yellow, as stated on the time-

my

table. They were spurred into action by


more by two shrills of the whistle.

getting aboard the train,

and even

This was even more exciting than the fact that there was no steamer at the
landing in Biel.

Do

you know the timetable symbol

for

"Sundays Only/' future reader?

All aboard then for Ligerz.

When

was

in the twelfth grade,

was once

in Ligerz

with a

priest.

We

had drunk lake wine, and enthusiasm made a genius of me on the church
organ. But the church lies somewhat uphill. The priest contemplated the
stained-glass

windows.

provided a feast for the

That was about the way

The

priest

was

nice, a real

passed

my

ear.

graduation exam, shortly afterward.

tower of strength. But "Professor Sidler" was even

nicer.
I was no longer a candidate for the graduation exam, but a marman. The motorboat took us to the island "Schanschaagg." My wife had

This time,
ried

to perform acrobatics climbing


efforts,

on and

off.

snack rewarded us for

then we dug for worms (faster said than done).

all

And papa

our

fished,

which took care of him.

Both of us into Mother Green's waves. A good meal rewarded us for all our
But then we decided on a new arrangement: both men fished, and

efforts.

she had to look on as penance.


In return she was allowed to take a dip with
evening.

Then

It

me

a second time; toward

was beautiful, very beautiful!!

the familiar ride to Biel, the city without connections.

We

saw the

263 /
people of Biel strolling along very

much

the

way people do

Munich 1911

in

Rome, along

the Corso.

At

last

on the

Miinchenbuchsee whisked

train;

where were born

by,

famous-men-to-be. Gallop, gallop!

Spent two weeks on the gorgeous Beatenberg. Here a

901.

man
us

officiated as chef, formerly

Our craving for water


down to Thunsee. In

downhill matter?

One

didn't leave us even

where

on these heights and often drove

could also rush in turn to Merligen, to Sundlauenen,

swim;

this

water,

on the water and

French-

those circumstances, what did nineteen-hundred feet

and to Gunten by way of


is

skillful

cook to His Majesty the King of Siam.

Sigriswil.

Sundlauenen provided

caught a violent cold as the result of a


in the water. First

fell

into

it

in

me with my
mad day by

last

the

Uncle Lui's boat

house in Gunten; then rowed Lui's boat toward Spiez. Dived for the second
time between Spiez and Faulensee, at a Boecklinian spot between
a picnic in grass

and grove,

Sinner took part in

it.

Windy

Gunten, hot from rowing,


by way of

berg,

The

darkness.

Sigriswil,

fall

most tempting

in the

place.

return trip across the lake.

a third

cliffs.

Then

Kurt and Sascha von

On

the shore of

swim. Finally on foot back to our Beaten-

through the Justustal, the

last stage in

complete

into the water at Sundlauenen, as already mentioned,

closed the watery part of the season.


It

rained toward the middle of September for the

grandmother died, and

this

event

first

dampened our

time in ages.

Lily's

enterprising

collective

spirits.

After that,

come

leads to the
I

climbed up once again alone, to where,

as a boy,

had

first

be-

mountains, following the familiar path that

Niederhorn by way of Vorsass and Vorsasspitz.

On

the

way back

rediscovered the already forgotten path leading to the huts of upper Burg-

feld.
I

closely acquainted with the

Here

heavy shower forced

me

to stop in a completely

abandoned room.

wrote Senno a poetic greeting on his table, exactly the way boys do, and

after a while

continued homeward: over the lower Burgfeldalp and over the

familiar Kanzeli back to

In the

first

place, this

my

hotel, to wife

had been

bad weather approaching

and

in person.

child.

Up on

the Horn I had seen the


The wind had blown polyphonic tunes

beautiful.

264 / Diary III

and

child

had
I

started

had found

among

of creatures. Kingfishers,

all sorts

others,

which

as a

so fairylike.

In the second place, it had been good for my health, as I could actually feel
my cold departing through my nose and ears, like an exorcised demon.
On the way back to Bern we again stopped at Uncle Luli's, where we met

August Macke and

his wife. In the afternoon

seemed happy and was very well behaved,

mate

dip; the lake

was very cold now, very

boat and gravely looked at

Gunten

in the evening,

lantern.

On

him

me

as

we rowed and
be noted.

a fact to

cold. Felix sat

on the

was swimming about.

sailed.

Felix

risked an ultifloor of the

When we

left

was already completely dark. The boy carried the

it

Thun and Bern he

the train between

violently by his soft collar.

Such

quieted down: sleep seized

a terrible, such a poor little fellow.

AUTUMN
This summer

Munich a group of young artists gathered into an asname "Sema," the "sign." I am one of the founding members, probably through writer Wilhelm Michel's doing. Others who
belong are a series of painters, sculptors, and poets. The last group, currently
in the minority, are there mostly to make propaganda, I suppose. The art

902.

in

sociation that will bear the

critics

Michel and Rohe. Kubin, Oppenheimer,

artists

whose names come

We

to

my mind

had met a few times

Greco and about the

Now

it

fact that

least

Scharff,

we

all

see little connection


it's

worth

903.

between

this

had already been found.


exhibition. Caspar put on

thirty

a timid initial

was, after

all,

not to

re-

attempt to join others.

and the inner world. But,

as the saying goes,

a try.

Uncle Luli (Louis Moilliet)

mood, the August Mackes hung


lishment.

we

a portfolio of original graphic works;

one hundred subscribers;

isolated in the outside world

and had agreed about

had no money.

Then Herr Thannhauser agreed to organize a first


optimistic airs. And I? Well, it is at least a sign that
main

Genin, Caspar are the

moment.

in a pleasant little club

was decided to publish

were to collect at

at this

He

has

left his

quarters

is

with us for

his hat

few days.

on the chandelier

He

is

in a

bad

in a public estab-

and moved into our vacant maid's room.

265 /
Kandinsky, about

whom

Munich 1911

have often spoken in the past and

the house next to ours, this Kandinsky,

whom

who

lives in

Luli calls "Schlabinsky," none-

on him. Luli often goes to

theless continues to exert a strong attraction

visit

him, sometimes takes along works of mine and brings back nonobjective pictures

without subject by

this Russian.

Kandinsky wants to organize


has given

me

new

fine, clear

paintings.

society of artists. Personal acquaintance


in

him.

He

is

somebody and has

mind.

time in a cafe in town; Amiet and his wife were also


way through Munich) Then, on the trolley that was taking
home, we agreed to meet more often. Then, in the course of the winter, I
for the first

present (on their


us

Very curious

somewhat deeper confidence

an exceptionally

We met

joined his "Blaue Reiter."

HODLER
904.

Great Marees exhibition at Thannhauser's, organized by Meier-Grafe,

1908/09, and

now Ferdinand Hodler

stimulating, even though

am

at the

same

gallery;

such things are very

not altogether for Hodler. For his significance

I am striving more and more.


He knows well how to characterize gesturing people, this I grant him. But I
am worried by all these figures which look as if they can't find peace. Hodler

doesn't rest in the purely pictorial, toward which

is

interested only in spiritually hyperintense beings; or

their image: spiritually hyperintense painting

These Dinge-an-sich become wearisome,


them together, and get on one's nerves.

use.

of

This
people

is

my

who

is

more

exactly, only in

neglected rather than put to

especially

when

there are

many

repudiation of the man. But the repudiation by the numerous

sought to connect him with modern developments remains

ridiculous.

1912
905.

From my Munich

the private galleries,

it

art-letter,

which

wrote for Switzerland:

"Among

was once again the Thannhauser Gallery that

at-

266 / Diary III

my

tracted

attention with the (third) exhibition of the

more

this group's still

Association and

my-

the idea, not to the momentary, accidental nature and the merely

self to

appurtenance of a number of works,

superficial

who found
ginnings in

home

should

like to reassure

people

it

even a Greco. For these are primitive be-

such as one usually finds in ethnographic collections or at

art,

Do

in one's nursery.

and there

ability,

themselves unable to connect the offerings here with some favorite

painting in the museums, were

more

new

radical offshoot called the Blaue Reiter. Limiting

is

wisdom

not laugh, reader! Children also have

in their

having

The more

it!

instructive are the examples they furnish us;

free of corruption

from an

and they must be preserved

phenomena

early age. Parallel

artistic

helpless they are, the

are provided

by the

works of the mentally diseased; neither childish behavior nor madness are

commonly

sulting words here, as they

more

when

seriously than all the public galleries,

day's art.

coming

men)

If,

as

lost in the

be taken very

are. All this is to


it

comes

to reforming to-

believe, the currents of yesterday's tradition are really be-

sand and the so-called unflinching pioneers

and healthy

display only apparently fresh

faces,

but

(liberal gentle-

actually, in the

light of long-term history, are the very incarnation of exhaustion,

moment

in-

seriously,

has arrived, and

hail those

who

are

then a great

working toward the impending

reformation.

The

boldest of

them

is

who

Kandinsky,

also tries to act

by means of the

word. (The Spiritual in Art, published by Piper.)

906.

February.

Bern.

He

teacher.

The good

was an

None

Jahn, our beloved musical mentor, has just died in

able, serious,

of this

mentary instruction, he

is

and noble gentleman.

exaggerated.

From

set the loftiest goals.

and he knew the

An

outstanding violin

the very beginning of his ele-

He

himself was

still

constantly

way to teach diligence, because in


his eyes diligence stood higher than talent. As an artist, he was a shade too intellectual. The authorities in their efforts to relieve him of some of the
burden, and perhaps also to replace him, must have made gross errors of
striving to improve,

late.
I

On

right

few occasions he had been beside himself with humiliation.

believe, however, that the errors

committed were only

errors of form.

For

the tragedy had always been there. Jahn had always lacked the virtuoso strain

267 / Munich 1912

and

As

this led to conflicts

a teacher,

with which he could no longer cope as he grew older.

he was of the highest eminence.

him suddenly and within

stroke paralyzed

Ah, the Sezessions! They won't believe

907.

few days he was gone.

it

anyway, even

if

one could

They won't, no matter


instance, when the battle of

prove to them that they have outlived their usefulness.

how

symptom appears; as now, for


more and more to transfer its arena to the provinces. Here, one
lives peacefully in the most beautiful palace, in royal Bavarian style.
And the poor public will have to grow accustomed to something new besuspicious a

opinions tends

cause

it is

the fullness of time (once again).

the French

manage again

to

make

And

it

will

be converted when

capital out of the new.

And

that will be

sooner than one dares to think.

"Der Blaue Reiter,"

so the thing

is

called.

The

enterprising "editors"

Kandinsky and Marc have already organized a second show

this winter, this

time a graphic one, in the upstairs rooms of the Goltz Bookshop. This dealer

was the

first

in

town

badauds describe

it

to dare to exhibit Cubist art in his display


as

typical

Schwabing production.

windows; the

Picasso,

Derain,

Braque, as Schwabing cronies, a nice thought!

Thanks

new Schwabing

cronies and their works, the


more became very attractive. My
wife wanted to come along too, and so we dared and decided. The boy had to
be parked at my parents' in Bern, this was obvious, and so I started out on this
roundabout route, while my wife went directly and arrived a few hours before

908.

April.

to these

idea of having a look at things in Paris once

me

(on April 2d).

909.

In Pontarlier

took a local

train; in this

the crests of the Jura at a very leisurely pace.


train there.

They were

still

way

Many

was able to contemplate


soldiers

had boarded the

wearing red pants, they twirled their cigarettes

and were merry without being too bothersome. The railroad employees were
rather unkempt. On their caps it said "P.L.M."
This noble train stopped at every station.

drenched clothes and baskets got on.

And

so

it

went, as far as Dijon.

An

Women

with snow- and rain-

unspeakable smell of people spread.

268 / Diary III

The

After a considerable delay, a through train was ready, thank God!

compartment was

the

around Dijon

is

better now, too. It smelled quite nice.

appealing.

Rocky

hills

the most beautiful, blooming trees.

Quite southern

plexes.

and, and in the midst of

in aspect, that

is

to say French,

air in

landscape

all this

A blossoming minority among

stone,

stony com-

where north and south

melt into each other, instead of being separated by a wall of

ice.

charm and became green, soft, crepusQuiet streams appeared, here and there a grazing horse in the distance.

Gradually the scenery


cular.

The

Somewhere

lost its alien

we had to let two express trains pass us. "Ah, les


woman, trembling, and "Whamm!" one of those
Ten minutes later, "Woof!" the second one. Real ex-

or other,

directes!" exclaimed a

monsters sped by

us.

plosions!

910.

ger

4.2.

and

Arrived at the Gare de Lyon even later than scheduled. Sondereg-

Lily,

she already enraptured.

To

the Hotel des Mines on the Boul'

Mich. Then to Hofer's, to make an appointment.


4.3.

etc.,

Dame, Grands Boulevards, Opera, Louvre. In


Musee du Luxembourg: Degas, Manet, "The Balcony"

Boulevards, Seine, Notre

the afternoon, to the


the

Luxembourg Garden.

4.4. Palais-Royal, Tuileries

To

Garden, Place de

la

Concorde,

Champs

Elysees.

Hofer's studio. In the afternoon: Salon des Independants; in the evening,

Moulin de
4.5.

la Galette.

Forenoon: Pantheon. Afternoon: Louvre

Greco, Delacroix; evening,

Pantheon Bar.
4.6.

Montmartre, Sacre Coeur, Montmartre cemetery

At night: Gaite Montparnasse: "Polu chez


comedian Cambon.

Lily!).

les

(something for

cocottes" with the

4.7.

(Easter). Versailles. In the evening, at the Cafe de la Paix.

4.8.

Notre

Dame and

Sainte Chapelle. In the evening, at Karl Hofer's.

The church of Saint-Germain-l'Auxerrois.


Manet (Olympia), Ingres, Delacroix, Daumier's Etruscan colIn the afternoon: tea at Hermann Haller's. Cafe Pantheon.
Musee Cluny, outer Boulevards, the fortifications, Porte Clichy, Cafe

4.9. Jardin des Plantes.

Louvre:
lection.

4.10.

du

Dome
4.11.

Schwabing-like milieu).

In the morning

visited

Delaunay

at his studio. In the afternoon, the

:6g /

Munich 1912

HARLEQUINADE, 1912, 84

Louvre, to see Manet's "Dejeuner," Delacroix, Guys. In the evening, Concert


Bullier.

On

4.12.

the tower of Notre

Picasso, Braque.

Rue de

Dame.

In the afternoon, at Uhde's, Rousseau,

Seine; in the evening,

saw the coronation of the Emperor of India

on Hofer's recommendation,

at the

Cinema

colore (English

antics!).
4.13.

Musee

Carnavalet.

Then

(Derain, Vlaminck,

at Kahnweiler's shop.

Le Fauconnier. In the evening:


Auteuil and back. Pantheon Bar.

Picasso). In the afternoon: visit to

the Seine as far as

4.14. Pere-Lachaise cemetery. In the afternoon: lovely

de Boulogne and along the


his wife.

4.15.

Champs

Elysees.

Another

ride

on

cab ride in the Bois

visit to Haller, to

meet

In the evening, at the Cirque Medrano.


Seine-ride to Saint Cloud, strolled

around there (Pare),

in the eve-

ning to the Opera: Rigoletto and ballet.


4.16.

In the

morning

at Barbizanges (gallery) at Kandinsky's request; in

the afternoon, at the apartment of Durand-Ruel, then to

Bernheim jeune:

Matisse, Goya. In the evening, Bal Tabarin.


4.17.

At the cursed customs

office at

Gare de

l'Est.

Then

to Druet.

Ob-

270 / Diary III


served the eclipse of the sun from near the church of the Madeleine. In the

evening, signed one hundred lithographs. Lily's departure.


4.18. In the

morning, a

met and impressed

visit to

who

Haller,

Herr Sourbeck's. In the afternoon,

runs after his

sister.

at Sr.,

At 10 p.m., departure

for

Bern.

Spent

We

911.

days there and went back to Munich.

five

found an excellent guide

for Paris in E.X.,

to be a guide primarily through old Paris.

recent, but
tive

knows how

to tell us the

way

from Biinden, briskly accompanied

He

there. His

us; a

even though he proved

looks skeptically at anything

second wife, a distant

of her hat like a signal, sometimes from a great distance, for she

walk.

However, her tempo picked up sharply

tempting store

displays.

a bit embourgeoise,

As

rela-

white feather nodded at the front

in

front

of

had

a brisk

exceptionally

a result of this marriage, our friend E. has

become

but also a bit sounder, economically speaking.

Inside him, things might at times have looked less affable.

pleasant task of telling

him about the

last

days of his

first

We had

the un-

wife and giving

him

her not very cheering diary and a "will."

This

first

wife,

taking poison.
this

human

moved

born in

My

whom

F.,

wife and

he had divorced, had died recently from

had been allowed

ruin, only thirty years old,

in with us,

completely went

but thinking no good could

small boardinghouse in Schwabing. She

you could

with

us, if

sight

became unendurable

call

such a

And

come

so she was allowed to

do

were, while

of

She almost

it,

we put her up

came to our house

little bit

ever}'

in a

day and ate

of food eating. This excruciating

in the long run, until

wrecked creature had a right to

it

to pieces.

to look on, as

said to myself that this ship-

die.

as she pleased.

She was sent once again to the

doctor (Fritz Lotmar), she was allowed once again to express her fearsome

preoccupations and

my

with a terror such

only a truly hideous swan song can provoke.

as

wife accompanied her in Schubert's "Winterreise"

Then she handed me naturally! poems, for publication naturally, and


number of written things for her E. For the last time she caressed a piece
of furniture that we had taken over when her household broke up, she almost
a

caressed

me

as she said

the eve of her birthday.

good

night,

and then she

left.

And

naturally

it

was

Munich 1912

271 /

During the night she swallowed several poisons collected


and died undisturbed,

morning she was found dead, and

in F. In the

The

to take care of everything.

in small doses,

her suicide attempt some time before,

in contrast to

was summoned by a note

investigation was going on, a journal-

official

scavenger was there too; he published in the newspapers, for the pay-

istic

ment

of a fee, the few explanations

Now

the relatives had to be called in from far and wide, from Berlin and

from H.,
but

it

etc. All this

was done

felt

to give

about the suicide.

expense of time and nervous energy,

at the

was nothing compared to the

had

her

effects of

last days.

X's second marriage seems solid. Haller's marriage seems less good. Before

"Now,

her bust, he said:

would be

fine!"

Two

912.

if

About the

only she were as beautiful inside as outside,

he

late X.,

said:

"She overloaded her

dead painters, Bruhlmann and Welti (Totnigi). The more en-

by the

joyable part of Welti's oeuvre can be explained

himself

faithfully reflected in

is

true heart.

can

still

take charge of the

him with

see

body

it.

him before me when he came


of his wife,

who had

painful apprehension, but the old

fate.

The

burial scenes. It

made

it

with a

to Solln last fall to

died suddenly.

man, who

man

fact that the

good, old craftsman

heart disease, dispelled our anxiety by the simple,

bore his

it

cart."

suffered

human way

We

awaited

from

a severe

in

which he

situation rose above the usual unedifying character of

was

as

if

we were

old stories have very jarring notes;

reading from an old story book. But even

and we

an

are simply not figures out of

old story. Translated into a picture, this ancient forefatherly quality tends
to

become

distressing again,

into a picture

he

by repeated

And he

dilution.

did translate

it

etched a funeral cortege, showing himself behind the

with "Albart and Ruodi." Then he wrote


and the schmalzy piece was done.
coffin

a sentimental

motto beneath,

Hans Bruhlmann agreed too much with Meier-Grafe. He allowed his adhim by force. It was not an easy
victory for Meier, nor was it very nice to see Bruhlmann surrender himself.

miration for Bocklin to be torn away from

Later, nothing of the sort

happened

remained bound to the "new


low.

Hear

ye,

to

Bruhlmann has become

portrait as such.

No

him

again.

track. Naturally,

a disciple!

direct light shines out

from

The

nonfantastic

artist

Marees and Cezannes

He
this

has painted his

man, only

fol-

own

reflections.

272 / Diary III

And

course, the monumonumental or one


isn't. Just like Haller and Hofer, who also always want to be monumental
and only succeed in being weighed down by the past. But the gentlemen are
not disappointed and will never be. Poor happy souls.

yet he

mental

is

strove to attain the

Again spent the summer

913.

my

where

fingen,

"monumental." Of

in Switzerland.

more

is

Bern and

a while in Hilter-

surviving aunt keeps house in three rooms. In con-

little,

with 1911, the weather was cool and rainy.

trast

Autumn

smiled somewhat

kindly.

We
Arp

still

never achieved in this way. For either one

spent three days, the three of

visited us;

and himself along with

sionists

us, at

Uncle Lui's

Gunten. In Bern,

in

he launched the Modern League of Associated Swiss Expresit.

He

is

quite a lively fellow. Returning his

journeyed back by way of Lucerne-Weggis-Zurich.

visit, I

We

way

seen the exhibition in the Kunsthaus at Zurich on our

had already
and

to Bern,

taken advantage of the opportunity to take a ride across the Lac des Quatre
to Andermatt. In Weggis there was still Liithy, an erotic artist,
somewhat too gleaming and pearly, and also Helbig, a little tailor from
Saxony, and also Sprenger, who can only say "Pikkasso." All of them make
brave efforts, and a little Alsatian litterateur beats the drum for them with
a certain grace. I was welcomed as if I were already a great man. How relative

Cantons up

all

ideas are!

Having gone back

914.

freedom than before.


little

son's permission.

Goltz
gallery

fell

And

becoming an

Munich

first

without the child,

and

is

opening

my

make up

his

mind:

had

a bit

more

my

a small, very appetizing

Alfred Mayer, nicknamed "Softy," approached


so in love with

having to ask for

even took part in the preparations.

me and had a look.


me to the Georg

"Candide" that he went with

Muller-Verlag to sign a contract on the basis of


not

first

really got very busy.

art dealer

on the Odeonsplatz.

Then

He

is

to

was able to go out without

this

work. But Georg could

can't think of anything for the

moment, he

lisped.

mentioned Sterne's Sentimental Journey. "Already published, with Chodowiecki's copper engravings, as is Candide." I was able to think of still another:
I

273 /

'frt

GOOD CONVERSATION, 1913,


84

&. jido

Munich 1912

\Lh&l(&X\iAfr^

HI

274 / Didry

Would

"Reynard the Fox."


tantamount

Now

to a polite no,

think

over and submit sketches? This was

it

and Mayer almost became

Delaunay wrote and sent

me

an

article

From Cologne, Franz Marc wrote several


Paris, about Walden and his Sturm, about
ought to get together

which might eventually tour

times about his impressions of


the Gereon

my

good selection of

sad.

by himself about himself.

Club

in

Cologne.

works for Cologne and Berlin,

further.

Kubin shows up, Wolfskehl met at Miinter's. Then Marc in person, bringing along Walden on another day. The latter remained very quiet, to him
I

am

much second

very

rate.

But

since Franz wishes

he allows a couple

it,

of drawings to be slipped in the pocket of his coat for the Sturm.

Marc

at the

them and

recognizes the value of the "Candiddles," wraps

them to Piper.
Once again, on the following

day, little

takes

Herwarth Walden was to be seen

opening of the Futurist show at the Galerie Tannhauser. Lives on

and

cigarettes, gives orders

something

is

them with

his

good

very good; Russolo


are not

up

enough."

He

lacking.

runs, like a strategist.

sniffing organ. Carra, Boccioni,

more

is

typical.

for sale; they are so

heard

He

is

just doesn't like paintings at all!

Herwarth

somebody, but

He

just sniffs at

and Severini

said to

are good,

me: "These pictures

famous that the people simply can't paint

it.

1913
915.

also beat the

short piece by

me

offered a delightful

little

Goltz Gallery, which


nable,

drums; Hans Bloesch in Bern occasionally prints a

in a small

is

paper he

devoted to

cessions) of organizers

Now

now on
who did

For

this first

For instance: "Munich

art

and

is

in the best location imagi-

has thus acquired a real home, after

the hospitality (which involved some con-

at Goltz's, besides the local

Paris.

art

editing.

opening of the privately operated

not really share

ciation, are the brave Swiss of the

and

new

on the Odeonsplatz. The new

having depended until

is

surprise in the

its

ideas.

Blaue Reiter and the local

Modern League and our

allies

New

Asso-

from Berlin

mass demonstration, the handsome room

is

just

Munich 1913

275 /

enough

large

to exhibit three or four

'new trend'

friendly to the

works by each contributor.

much remains

To

those

one-man shows

obscure, but

will

follow later."

guest performances by the

Several

916.

Imperial Russian

with

Ballets,

Nijinsky and Karsavina as soloists, bring an unusual novelty into the routine
of the opera.

probably dying

am

not saying new

art.

Times long

can look with emotion on what


outstanding

is

Nijinsky,

My memory

who

conjures

what

for

modern elements does not

incursion of

ously.

life,

is

involved here

since vanished survive in

it.

The

is

an

old,

occasional

And one

alter this state of affairs.

disappearing, never to return. Particularly

is

dances in the

him up

and on the ground simultane-

air

in the

moment he

leaps

and

in the

exquisite turnings of his young, powerful body.

certain coolness in their reception

is

People here scream

surprising.

about the onset of changing times, in particular about the Futurist

who

with their great talent, yet they remain

at least stimulated us

the good old days rise up before them.

do they

really

want?

when

Still

noth-

Wagner, Knote, and Feinhals? Fortunately Munich has

ing but

become

What

a place

where

good deal

is

on

display,

artists

stiff

recently

whether Munich wants

it

or

not.

The

great talent that

crossing this

new

attention to

call

threshold and

may

so related are the sonorities of his color

With Boccioni and

Severini, to

be

is

Carra; one needn't trip in

think of Tintoretto or of Delacroix,

and even the

sure, the relation

spirit of his execution.

with the old masters

is

happy one. For instance, it says in the Manifesto: "When one opens
a window, all the noise of the street, the motions and the substance of things
suddenly invade the room," or: "the power of the street, the life, pride, and
a less

fear that

can be observed in the

Such things,

in fact,

city,

the oppressive feeling caused by noise."

have been convincingly represented. (Holy Laocoon!!)

So the domain is enriched by a new work. The frenzy of the hot-blooded


young people needn't have been misunderstood either; they lavish it on their
manifestoes, partly to scare people, but partly to establish their presence

proudly and gloriously.


has opened
(it

its

The Modern

Gallery,

which

is

Herr Thannhauser,

display-room to the Futurists but assumes "no responsibility"

was amusing,

at the opening, to see the usual, highly

decent "modernities"

276 / Diary III

make room and

The

depart).

real organizer

is

the heroic

Walden from

the

Berlin Sturm.

This "no-responsibility" frontal attack


by the

enterprise; not only

Nolde show

Diezl," where a

effectively flanked

is

by the Goltz

though, but also by another "Salon Schmid-

latter,

on view

is

brook of the

close to the lovely

English Garden, fortunately at some distance from the "Harmless," toward,


"of course," Schwabing.

And the measure is still not full!! Even Schonberg


mad melodrama Pierrot Lunaire!
Burst,

Philistine,

few

sales, to

Kohler

all sorts

in Berlin (just as

of small

my

new

left

the fact that Arp

is

He

the good cause.

White Books,"

Modern League. But

making

me

put

which

in

efforts in

and

so on.

June. Piper

is

this

concerns

me

less

been won over to me,

my

happen,

still

illustrations.

this

than

Or let us say: in behalf of


new publishing house, "The

behalf.

touch with a

in

do an edition of Candide with

withdraw, which might

my

Herr Otto Flake, an Alsatian and a poet,

participate. This fine Alsatian has

918.

Even

Weggis. His father's factory went broke; nor does everything seem

to be going well with the

to

steps forward.

wife was suffering from a severe

case of influenza), to Miller in Biberist near Solothurn,

Arp

being performed, the

methinks your hour has struck!

In the course of the winter,

917.
a

you

is

it is

Even

if

said,

is

to

and plans

Flake were to

wouldn't jeopardize the Candide.

planning a portfolio of Expressionists and wants a con-

me ... A symptom? Until now this publisher has avoided


marked persistence
And Walden is planning an Autumn Salon

tribution from

me

with

in Berlin,

and Kubin and

there! In addition,

are to have a private

room

Franz Marc discloses that Kohler

for our graphic


is

giving

works

money and

that he himself will exhibit. His velvet eye glows as he imparts this news.

919.

Poor

E.,

whose marital troubles have already involved

occasions, lately

by

his wife

with

us.

went completely out of

his

mind.

me on

several

love correspondence

affair, and E. has now broken off his relations


more and more given to contradiction, who senses

drew us into the


sick fellow,

betrayal behind any opinion that differs from his own, cannot be

good com-

277 / Munich 1913

SISTERS, I913, 140

pany

in the long run.

He had

felt called

upon

me, without success of course, but that, after


now,

my

as

career

is

visibly taking a turn

ginning to offer themselves,


resents

my

now he

several times to try to help


all,

is

not what counts. But

upward and

possibilities are be-

thinks I've fallen into bad

company and

having joined the Blaue Reiter. Moreover, he resents

my

not

having sided with the defeated party in the breakup of X.'s marriage (feels
himself in a parallel situation, to his detriment, in his

and

my

having

let

own

marital troubles)

A.X. meet her death.

It is a pity for a human being to barricade himself off and shut himself
up more and more, but since this thing threatens to lead to intolerably war-

like situations, it
It is a

us.

is all

great relief,

Let her do

so.

to the

good

for relations to

and he made

But not much

having a bitter taste about her.

it

will

be broken

off.

easy for me. Z. wants to go on seeing

come

of

it,

for she too has

ended by

278 / Diary III

"Woe

920.

me

is

under the pressure of the returning hour, alone in the

midst, in the depths the stealthy

"The death

worm."

the drawing

(I believe

is

good.)

of the old magpie liberates a tiny spirit which escapes with the

message" (another drawing).

An

idyllic picture of

1.

The

2.

3.

Two

Bern would have to show the following things:

Zytgloggegiigel [clock cock], which sings "Call you

drunken foursome of

singers

4.

my

."

fa

serenade this bird.

polyps [policemen; cops] in rubber shoes pondering whether they will

triumph over the four or succumb

The

who

in the end.

arcades of Bern, which arch over the scene [double over with amuse-

ment].

"A

stroke of lightning in the night; the day screams sharply in

Faster,

Mr. Canine,

you'll

be

late for

you're invited to a full plate." Suchlike things

with a certain precision, and

its

sleep.

Frau Gfeller's dinner date / where


I

am now

able to express

this by line alone, line as absolute spirituality,

without analytic accessories, simply taken for granted.

Tie small-scale contrasts together compositionally, but also large-scale

921.

contrasts; for instance: confront chaos with order, so that

are separately coherent,

become

related

when

both groups, which

they are placed next to or

above each other; they enter into the relation of contrast, whereby the characters of

both sides are mutually heightened.

Whether

side.

can already accomplish such things

there.

"Innocence upon Innocence."

1913/162
world more

The man
923.
all
it's

The technique

will

Sometimes, a long time passes without

922.

is

questionable on the

is

than questionable, unfortunately, on the negative

and more
But the inner urge is

positive side

as a

game,

in love

December

Christmas

enthusiastic about the idea.


difficult to find

toward

will
art.

less as a failure of the earthly.

no longer drinks and

1913.

struggle.

The

naive style.

a real declaration of love

Why

any objection to

is

Then

turn out

under anaesthesia.

Abstraction from this

Somewhere

in

between.

eats.

trip to

Bern

is

undertaken. I'm not at

two Christmases there? Well,


One knows, after all, that Christmas

celebrate
it.

develop in time.

279 / Munich 1913

tp

"V

?x<

(***&>

Vetf.,^

THE AFFLICTED POLICEMEN, 1913, 54

280 / Diary III


at the

home

beautiful

But

my

still

is

blissful.

certain forebodings spoke against

images from

and

of one's parents was indeed beautiful, was blissful,

and remains

it.

kept seeing uncomfortably sharp

childhood.

Shortly after the

New

Year, Felix

came down with

influenza.

soon

fol-

lowed; from a devilish cold, a highly interesting sinus infection developed.


Professor Lindt, an excellent specialist, was called
to

Munich only

at the

bronchitis. Finally

it

end of January. There

ended and

was

in.

was able to return

suffered

I still

from a lingering

fully recovered.

1914

new
of

came

Mitrinovic, a Serbian,

924.

art,

my

Kandinsky,

etc.

He

also

to

Munich and gave

a lecture

about the

Had me lend him some


them. A nice man with a peasant

approached me.

works so he could immerse himself in

face.

Often comes to our music

knew how
Piper

to write

is

it,

sessions.

you know how

Made

to play

this classic utterance: "Yes,


it,

and

know how

me

mellowing and exchanges books with

Bach

to listen to it."

for drawings.

with the Shirtsleeves, the Sour One, certainly musn't hear about

The

Belly

it.

Dr. Fritz Burger also takes an interest.

Musical soirees with

B major

cellist

Barjansky; once

played Schubert's Trio in

with Barjansky and pianist Sapellnikoff.

such people than with scholars.

What

partners

It is easier to

play with

have always dragged along

with me! Idealists drunk with beauty at the expense of intonation and

ele-

gant mountebanks juggling at the expense of honesty. Yes, yes!

925.
stein

The

great phalanx

from Putz to Kandinsky had to be created. Hausen-

and Weisgerber wanted

to

command

it.

Who

is

Weisgerber? This

never did and never shall understand. Hausenstein, indeed!


doesn't paint mediocre

stuff,

because he doesn't paint at

all.

He

is

witty and

281 /

MtS

rr

&& 'pty*-*

THE FLEEING POLICEMEN, 1913, 55

Munich 1914

282 / Diary III

But they

didn't quite carry

it

Kandinsky and Marc declined,


phalanx

will stretch

bad the vanguard

is

off.

Putz would not accept majority, and

largely

through Marc's doing. Thus the

from Piittner to Klee, with Caspar


weakened.

It

in the center.

was named the "Neue Sezession."

Too

Trip to Tunisia

April 1914. This

926.

how

is

came about: Louis

it

Moilliet, that Swiss

count, had been there once (of course).

This because he had been invited by a doctor from Bern,

who lived there.


Now, my friend
of his

the count

good fortune, but

And he

likes

is

name

of Jaggi,

not only impudent about taking advantage

also willing to share

with people he

it

likes.

two people, one of them August Macke and the other my-

(He likes a good many young ladies, too.)


Macke has recently taken a place at the Thunersee, and last December
the three of us vowed that it should come to be. Louis thinks I deserve this
treat, and will advance me money against pictures. Macke can take care of

self.

himself, he

is

selling pretty well.

Bornand, the pharmacist

in Bern, agreed to

was to put up Louis and me. That

926a.

Friday, 4.3.

Going

is

to Bern;

how

first,

it

pay

came

my

fare,

and Dr. "Jegi"

about.

to park Felix with his grandparents;

second, to pick up the money.

926b.

Saturday, 4.4. Bern. Bought French money, a pocketful of beautiful

gold pieces, five

although

though
926c.
a

it

it

was

hundred
slightly

may not be

Sunday,

francs.

Some

instinct or other

more expensive than

bills.

made me

Natural and

take coins,
right,

even

really necessary.

4.5. 2 o'clock in

the morning.

On

to

Geneva and Lyon

in

comfortable Swiss railroad-car, through to Marseille. In Lyon the train

stopped for quite a while. Beautiful town, houses like those in Paris.
quays along the

Rhone

very typical. In Geneva, a group of

French or French-Swiss

silly

The

youngsters

got on; they danced in the corridors and sang


"Puppchen" and other imports from Berlin in French patois. In Lyon they
marched through the streets in bands. Probably they knew a good restaurant;

we

didn't.

Nonetheless we had had enough of their company and didn't


283

284 / Diary III


follow them.

found

finally
it

Not

down

was very good, although

At 12:15 the
ern land.

is

a side street,

called

The Rhone

where we had

on the small

a bit

went on;

train

passed through

So we looked and looked, and

for us, these collegians.

a place

believe the

first

a fish

Let us

side.

from the Rhone;

call it a

Baby

Dauphine and then came Provence.

it

we

lovely South-

countryside near Geneva had already been very striking,

there where the train turns off toward Aix-les-Bains by crossing the
bridge;

Fish.

part of the countryside

Then

was, in fact, a sight in the grandest style.

the

Rhone
trees

little

covered with red blossoms began, and the roofs became orange-terracotta,
enchanting, exactly
In Provence the

my

little

favorite shade of orange.

women

going.

Avignon

clad in black,

Charms

of unpleasantness about them.

God's residence

in

Sunday crowds with no savor

that set

Count

Louis's shark eye

and

those other sound-

France

Aries,

ing names. Finally the landscape flattened out.


trees against
sick.

The

wind or some other danger

At

by

would make one

freight traffic.

Handsome

railroad

big lake, the Lake of Bern. Looks like the sea.

five in

the afternoon,

we reached our

hackney with Louis, drove

little

track was protected

a flickering that

Swiss carriage was a bit too light.

Approaching Marseille, extremely heavy


station.

The

all

first

Mounted an amusing

goal.

or rather bouncedthrough

this

Southern

and constantly downhill. Let the cabman pick the


Inexpensive, but so beautiful. Beautiful enough to make you stay.

Paris for a long time


hotel.

A
up

stroll at twilight

along the harbor front. Looked for our ship.

Looked

a terrific appetite.

Finally found him.


like a

young

around

it.

for

Macke on

There he was with

prince. Didn't see us. It

We

baby

his

Worked

the quay of the Vieux Port.


face, eating

and drinking

was a sidewalk restaurant with

hedge

crouched down behind the hedge, so that he could see only

our heads.

Now

he sees us

saw

us,

blushed

slightly,

he had seen nothing. Then he greeted us


Marseille and environs.

There was

still

Monday,

He

to a bullfight.

time to go to a vaudeville show.

personates a Tyrolean

926d.

Has even been

looked quickly away, as though

gaily.

4.6.

girl,

the only

number

in

good

is

bubbling over about

Almost made him

sick.

young comedian im-

taste.

In the morning, tramped around Marseille, and out

285 / Trip to Tunisia

FLIGHT TO THE RIGHT,

beyond the
place.

The

city gates.

We

countryside

is

felt

1<?13,

that

58

we could

take quite a good deal of this

tremendous and the colors are new. But Count

Louis smiled at the idea of staying on, knowing what

young Turk hears us speaking German on the


quaintance; he says he served under

German

Liman

trolley

still

and

lay in store!

strikes

up an

Sanders. In any case, he

A
ac-

knows

quite well.

At noon we went aboard our

ship.

fine,

big vessel of the

Compagnie

Transatlantique, called the Carthage. Pleasant, clean cabins. Little recep-

and promising. The ride through the harbor made


an amusing excursion. Out on the breakwater a last group of people waving
goodby. Now the real thing as the ship began to roll. The Golfe du Lyon
tacles for vomiting, pretty

286 / Diary III


[sic] is

known

for

II fait

it.

beau temps, pourtant. Try to believe

Gabriele Munter's medicine; the other two were taking big


pills

and smiling

much

me and my

at

Miinter remedy.

it.

took

mauve and green

distrusted both remedies,

why I began to feel pretty sick, though


it was gradual enough. August Macke drew me a little sketch to show what
I would look like when I was really sick (he had no faith in Miinter) Whereupon I let him give me some of his mauve and green pills. Lo and behold!
I felt better. And a bit later I lit my pipe. Whereupon August Macke really

the one as

as the other. That's

became my friend. Until then he had considered me a monster


and now I was snugly smoking a pipe. He found this irresistible.
This raised our good

mood

to high spirits,

but

slanted like a roof and everything began to slide,


there was no
side

confusion around the

little

and the other brought

results:

us.

We

This continual slanting to one

rail.

And how we

926c

Tuesday,

colors of water

are

Woke

up within

air are still

more glowing and

class frequently)

fewer.

But the

Just happy. Desire for

special,

it

room

seemed

a half-hour

to us

fit

sight of the coast of Sardinia.

more intense today than yesterday.

The

The

colors

rather darker. In the front of the ship (I visit third

the most colorful scenes are to be observed.

colonial soldier goes so well with

Africa appeared. Later on, the

first

all

this.

The French

In the afternoon the coast of

Arab town was

clearly discernible, Sidi-

Bou-Said, a mountain ridge with the shapes of houses growing out of


strictly

for

slept!

4.7.

and

became

it all.

laid siege to the dining

ahead of time. Perhaps the food was nothing


a king.

the same the deck

men, women, deckchairs;

the passengers

three of us remained cheerful, carefree, above

food and sleep overcame

all

of perfection,

rhythmical forms.

fairy tale

turned

real;

not yet within reach,

it

in

far,

still very clear. Our proud steamer left the open sea.
The harbor and city of Tunis were behind us, slightly hidden. First, we
passed down a long canal. On shore, very close, our first Arabs. The sun has
a dark power. The colorful clarity on shore full of promise. Macke too feels
it. We both know that we shall work well here.
The docking in the modest, somber harbor very impressive. The first
Orientals we saw close up were those on the banks of the canal. But then,

quite far away, and

though the ship was

still

moving, incredible characters climbed aboard up

287 / Trip to Tunisia


rope ladders. Below, our host Dr. Jaggi, his wife, and his

little

daughter.

And

his automobile.

Finally

we landed and were submitted

making our way

to the last test,

through the crush of the customs inspection, amidst deafening noise. By car

and to dinner. Everything continued to sway.


Under his guidance, a nocturnal walk through the Arab town. Reality and
dream simultaneously, and my-self makes a third in the party, completely
to Dr. Jaggi's

at

home

here. This will be fine.

Dr. Jaggi, comical, dry, and sober, feels alienated.


the climate and money. Yearns for Switzerland,
first

Arab beggar. "There's an inn and

have to

comment on

of enthusiasm, this

take the violins

And

926f.

Wednesday,

4.8.

color in the

Arab

Self.

quarter.

pictorial architecture.

My

Tunis.

nature

Art

Not

Bought something
money.

bit.

mate

really think

we played good

head
to

is

the impressions of last

full of

work

at

once and painted in water-

Began the synthesis of urban architecture and


of traveling in
later,

in the souk.

it

the

somewhat too much

Self, in a

word. Things

once the intoxication has worn

Macke

praises the fascination of

off a

spending

a car ride in the vicinity of the city. Jaggi as unlicensed chauffeur.

sirocco wind, clouds, the extremely subtle definition of the colors.

Nothing painfully
to diy

We

our state

in

few jokes about Stradivarius,

yet pure, but quite attractive,

mood, the enthusiasm

Took

his nose.

Went

no doubt get more objective

Heavy

he bought cheap;

our testing of the violins met with everybody's approval.

night's walk.

will

make

than the

back home."

August banging out the rhythm on the piano and singing

monotonous melody through

music.

of the

We

a bit trite.

a feeling for

me

and improvise the most beautiful Arab music. Louis and

as off-pitch fiddlers,

a long,

a church, just like

a couple of fiddles that

is

Only has

stranger to

is

up

in the

sultry

weather

says Dr. Jaggi.


First into a

sonority of

bright, as at

summer.

home. To the

like this brings

Not

rear, a big lake,

which

slight feeling of desert, threatening. In

showers of

a drop has fallen since

rain.

Not

December.

strikes

paint on the spot.

deep and

will

We

walked

remain within me, even though

Then we came upon

a funeral.

cli-

here, unfortunately,
a little.

park with very peculiar plantings. Green-yellow-terracotta.


it

said

is

our

The
don't

The lamenting women

288 / Diary III


could be heard from a distance. Louis's legs twitched, he ran ahead. Macke:

"Since old Gobat's death, he's got a mania for funerals."

August! "Le divin Gobat," as an obituary

me

dear August, this funeral strikes

And

not uninteresting."

as

bit nasty, dear

supposed to have read. "But,

is

lowed, August somewhat reluctantly, but he came!

The

coffin

so

we

fol-

was colored

A carriage drawn by six mules. Louis claims it was the Bey.


No rain, and the weather was clear by evening.
On the way home Jaggi told us about a real-estate speculation in which

blue and gold.

he has

a share.

hotel was to be built in the park.

an enticing poster? August: Of course we


might earn some money and

But done? Never, of

The meals
surly

we

abundant.

woman from Aargau

kitty.

not execute

Well thought, quickly

we

said.

The cooking is done by a Negro; a


Our stomachs burn because

cleans the rooms.

Macke swallows

one thing the

there's

our travel

Would we

Dr. Jaggi thought that

course!

at Jaggi's are

overload them.

"But

fill

will!

girl

bicarbonate, powders wrapped in wafers.

from Aargau does superbly,"

says Louis, taking

her side: "That's to prepare baths! This she does to perfection."

926g.

Thursday,

4.9.

Weather completely

my

clear again.

But windy. Painting

Worked anyway!
The men on a French torpedo boat recognized that we were German and
mocked us in broken German. August's appearance is a little compromising.
in the harbor.

He

Coal dust

in

eyes

and

in the watercolors.

advised us to steal away as unobtrusively as possible. Sometimes he

exaggeratedly afraid.

And he

doesn't like Louis's jokes, such

as:

acheter une negresse? etc." In the evening, went to the Concert arabe.

monotonous,
dances.

One

a bit for the tourist.

to us nonetheless.

doesn't see such things at home. Musically,

appeal of novelty.

926I1.

But new

Good

The most melancholy

Friday, 4.10.

Tunis and

it is

is

"Oil peut-on

Very

bit

fine belly

not without the

melodies!

St.

Germain near Tunis. In the

morning, came along in the car to participate in our doctor's driving examination.

very funny

examiner, getting

Dr. Jaggi,
stretches.

him

affair.

to

do

He

was

all sorts

at the wheel,

of tasks. Louis

and next
and

who usually doesn't spare the horn, forgot it in


He had to drive up a large mountain in reverse;

were

to

him the

in the car.

his zeal for long

turning in order

289 / Trip to Tunisia

207

CRITIC, 1914,

he drove on the sidewalk.

to carry out this order,

speed to the outskirts of town, he brought

minded

natives;

but

all this

many

When

he was ordered

cries of fear

to

from the absent-

to-do proved to be just an ordinary part of the

The examiner combined this phase of the test with a little personal
visit and let us wait for him on a lawn. Strolling around, I saw little spring
flowers that don't exist at home. The doctor was worried, not about the
show.

exam

he was sure he had passed but about other matters.

pressing,

wanted
nice

Many

it

ated patients were waiting for

him

at

home and

and the examiner was being very

to take us

all,

in private clinics.

leisurely.

bag and baggage, to

After lunch, the doctor

hound.

Hamed,

house

He

is

on

sandy garden with artichokes,


doctor's daughter.
it.

it

was

filled to over-

the colored cook, overtook us on his bicycle like a gray-

carried a basket

his

back with the groceries

beautifully situated close to the sea beach

around on

where

his country estate,

and peaceful. The drive there was adventurous, the car

loading.

oper-

Time was

The

etc.

beast bites.

little

The

and

is

in

it.

The country

built

on sand.

donkey, which belongs to the

little

girl

was overjoyed and rode

In the cellar were wines, pungent and very strong.

"Home

grown, the pride of Dr. Schegi."

Very hot during the day, but much cooler and a heavy wind in the eveLaundry is not hung on lines, but simply laid out against a bush. The
wind is steady and holds them fast. Found a chameleon in the garden; thin
ning.

290 / Diary III


as

an empty purse, jaws gaping; the only

effective thing to

do

for this

is

to

pour water into them.


926L

Germain near Tunis. Some watercolors on the


still somewhat

Saturday, 4.11. St.

beach and from the balcony. The watercolor of the beach


European. Could have been painted near Marseille
ond,

encountered Africa for the

just as well. In the sec-

(Hausenstein later obtained

time.

first

Ganymed.) The heat overhead probably helped.


Got undressed upstairs, came down in
my coat. Left the coat on the beach. Fine. In the afternoon our host came
with his car and took us through a section of the countryside. Intense heat.
this

work, reproduced

At noon

my

first

in

it

swim

in the sea.

In the evening, decorated Easter eggs for the children. August created exquisite patterns.

immediately at
master, etc.
I

Then painted a plaster wall in the dining room. August


home in the large format, a complete scene, donkey and

contented myself with two small pictures in the corner, which

completed.

Easter Sunday, 4.12.

926k.

Germain. August remained

St.

ing with a slight case of melancholy.

They ought

for his boys.

work.

The

little girl

to be here

now

was looking for the

to go

bed that morn-

in

himself and feels nostalgia

Is so childlike

swimming.

eggs. Unfortunately,

went

out!

To

we had nothing

and part of the magic came off on her tiny fingers; the
St. Germain with the tricolore flag. St. Germain
with the young palm tree. August didn't swim. Perhaps he was thinking of
to fix the colors,

morning

was humid.

air

the legendary sharks?


little girl

wouldn't forego the

Noon here is too hot. The


The prospect across the

treat.

stood on the shore with a big, heavy coat.

water was splendidly beautiful, but not extravagant. Everything has great
dignity.

The evening
came

Naturally
I

is

indescribable.

up. Louis urged


I

am

did before.

nature. This

is

doesn't trouble

The evening

me

not up to

know

And on

to paint
this

top of everything else a


said:

the disparity between


affair to

me

No

one

bit.

deep inside

it

kind of nature.

an internal

is

it.

keep

me

will

know

best.

a bit

busy for the next few

use hurrying

when you want

me

Many

forever.

moon

more than
inadequate resources and

Still, I

my

full

be an exercise at

so

years. It

much.

a blond, northern

moon

291 / Trip to Tunisia

rise,

muted

like a

and again.
myself

am

my

bride,

my

An

alter ego.

again

incentive to find myself.

the moonrise of the South.

926I.

Easter

swam.

Monday,

Germain-Tunis. Before noon painted and

4.13. St.

work before me. So

sacred scarab dung-beetle does his

work; will test again and again whether

time after time. In the end,

ward with

me

remind me, and remind

reflection, will softly

be

It will

my

ball,

it

rolls,

it

go right. But shall

will

mean backward toward

But the comparison doesn't have

to

too will

remove some, measure


I,

like

it

him, move back-

the goal?

be pushed

all

the way.

bit of

Homer

can bring consolation.

Afterward back to lunch in Tunis by


drive in the car to Sidi-Bou-Said, the

way

Drove

all

lifting

the rear. August observed that

the

no further than

After lunch an Easter

car.

town that we

first

Monday

saw from the

up. Dr. Schegi turned his car around by getting out

this.

tried

drenched with perspiration.

and

was rude not to help, but he went

it

to help,

Some

ship.

but was stopped. Schegi's hat was

who were

Italians

passing gave a hand.

Xow

some explorations could be undertaken in good conscience. The town


lies so beautifully up there and looks far over the sea, which accompanies
us with its deep breathing as we climb. Stopped by a garden gate and began
a watercolor sketch. Thalatta!!

Then back

to the little town.

was drinking coffee in front of a cheerful mosque

Aemmetal, "across from the church

at

Where

Schegi

home,

(just like at

in

Waadtlander's and Greyerzer's" )

We were soon to see clearly that Rome's


We again climbed into our delightful

victory over Carthage was abso-

and drove down the mounmore beautiful than the place


where Tunis is situated. Or what people generally call more beautiful: more
open to the sea, with more of a panorama. Of the city, with the exception
of a few excavated spots on the ground, there is not a trace. Instead, a new

lute.

tain into the region of Carthage.

little

Italian

hoarse and

This

site

car

is

agglomeration with a mass of people cutting up.

memorably

out-of-tune, such as

brass band,

had never even heard

musical Switzerland. Europe's victory over Africa,

it

now

in un-

turned out, had

been of questionable value! At the entrance of the village some beauty was
sitting all dolled

of the music.

up on

dungheap, so the eye might have

These mixed

Sicilians are really

a treat

not handsome at

all.

worthy

Rough

292 / Diary III

There

cross-breeds.

The

colons.

is

some

justification

however, are different. Tunis

ians,

contempt of the French

for the

reasons for the severe tension between the French and the
is

Arab

Ital-

in the first place, Italian in the

second, and French only in the third. But the French act as

if

they were the

masters.

Dr. Schegi on this holiday treated us to dinner in a French restaurant

where the waiters were


trip

home

a little snooty.

(Hamed had made

food wasn't bad.

varied day

ended with

Tuesday, 4.14. Tunis-Hammamet.

926m.

riffraff is

It

An

old

man

up to him

as

my mistake.
Eifel

if I

primitive.

Had an appointment

As

meant

this

from children.

to rob him. Before

a result, progress

am

in

picked his pockets,

What

The

at the rail-

good

spirits,

discovered

it

Hammamet, but

was

a girl, sullenly paces

One

it

Downright

at the cistern.

matter?
still

We looked

a day! Birds sang in every hedge.

certainly hasn't changed.

"The

installations of this railroad are very

was slow. But what did

transact. Arrived at

dromedary was working

the

small queue in front of the

Beautiful voyage. Serious forest, even a certain somberness.

no business to
to the city.

is

mistook someone in the queue for August and sneaked

beautiful too," August said.

is

where

The

us.

shouted: "bara! bara!" and makes room for himself.

was so natural. At home we hear

in fact exuberant.

But the

travel plans.

road station at 6 in the morning with Macke.


ticketbooth.

international.

Frau Jaggi joined

no particular mention. Darkness

in the evening deserves

same everywhere. This

This

us obese.)

could watch for hours

had
way

into a garden

biblical.

how

We

a little

The

setup

the camel, led by

up and down, thereby accomplishing the operation of


Had I been

lowering, drawing, hoisting, and emptying the leather bucket.


alone,

would have remained here

that there

The

Now

is,

city

is

there exists so

for a very long time.

much more

magnificent, right by the sea,

and then

But Louis maintains

to see.

bends and sharp corners.

full of

get a look at the ramparts!! In the streets

to be seen than in Tunis. Little girls without veils, as at

one

is

by the

allowed to enter the cemeteries here. There


sea.

few animals graze in

and bushes provide

a beautiful

it.

This

is

is

more women are


home. Then too,

one splendidly situated

fine. I try to paint.

rhythm of patches.

The

reeds

293 / Trip to Tunisia

/v

Superb gardens in the

Giant cactuses form

vicinity.

walls.

//

path with

cactuses just like the "hohle Gasse."

Painted a good deal and sauntered around. At the cafe in the evening,

and

the blind singer

me

his

boy beating the drum.

rhythm that

will stay

with

forever!

Spent the night in a place run by a nasty old Frenchwoman. Louis and

Macke, wearing only their night

and

constipating beef liver

But the

little

terrace

tea.

had

shirts,

The cooking

on the way up

a pillow fight.

at the Jaggi's

to the "hotel"

color here, transposing a great deal but

nature. Shortly afterward this watercolor

was

926m

Wednesday,

traveling

around too

stretch, as far as

4.15.

train.

did a water-

was acquired by Dr. Karl Wolfskehl.

street

Our aim now was

much by

fine.

remaining completely faithful to

High oboe sounds and tambourine beats lured us


and to the scorpion eater: a delightful

She gave us a

was better!

show.

to the snake

charmer

The donkey watched

to go to

too.

Kairouan and to avoid

Consequently, we decided to walk a

the railroad station Bir-bou-rekba. In this

way we

got our-

up the scenery of the country road with


incongruously as possible. The scene, which

selves into the position of livening

our European appearance


as
we had already taken in from the
that it was a shame to intrude on

train yesterday,
it

was so uniquely timeless

with our anachronistic early twentieth-

century costumes.

But we were about


disgrace to

both

to provide a

parties:

at least tragicomedians.

we

as

really grotesque

comedians and

spectacle,

veritable

group of blind singers

as

294 / Diary III


In the

place, the country road turned out to

first

makes progress

sand, the kind that

we both

because

carried our watches in our pockets.

Our comical

begging.

And

who brought
we

the aforementioned society of rhapsodes,

be sandy. Deep, dry

and of course we were

difficult,

haste in the dry sand, where

late

then we ran into

us to a dead stop

who

sank at every step, had been noticed long ago by the ones in the troupe
could

and they made ready not

see,

to let us through unshorn.

Louis and August were luckier in this than

by

a firm grasp.

this struck

Now

me

as too

much and

all

ran after

me

happened

who was brought

I,

any fresher

for

tore myself

to catch

me

away by

this slightly

retreating.

again; in the process, the fat blind


air in

the

flight,

but didn't

feel

we then used

as a road.

On

achieved victory through

the railroad track, which

harder sand highway

more

progressed

my

lateness,

it.

we reached

last

to a stop

have in the pocket of

to

swept along by his tambourine boy and leaped into the

most comical way. Anyway,

At

had been appraised higher. In view of our

seems

they

man was

paid whatever

it

but

jacket,

by

around and

slithered

easily.

The

(if

"highway"

railroad station

isn't

an exaggeration) we

was already

visible,

but very

small yet.

We
late.

managed

still

To

window

to reach

it

before the train, which was tremendously

new comic

give our adventure a

twist, the clerk

to the train schedule. This

was French pedantry

in folio.

minutes passed before the thing actually chugged into the


Magnificent
srira

trip

we changed

wasn't clean, but he

and had lunch

How we

knew

And

another ten

station.

at

an "Inn by the Station" run by

Negro did the cooking and

serving;

he

his business.

laughed at the inn of

this

Don

Quixote of

chickens! (Well, any chickens! If you looked at

afraid of being run over

and trampled.

a proprietor!

them through

you would think they had been transformed into


really

ticket

through more and more desert-like country. In Kalaa-

trains

a curiously excited innkeeper.

grow

behind the

greeted us with reproaches for being ten minutes late, according

Don

fiery horses,

were quite frightening, even without a microscope.

we now

and would

Quixote's feathery beasts


If

at least they

learned, they belonged to

had been

his chickens,

but actually,

neighbors.

They had no

business being in the halls of his inn!

as

Those

a microscope,

And he

simply

295 / Trip to Tunisia


could not stand for this behavior on their part or his neighbor's part.

They

were not to feed at his expense nor damage the table d'hote by letting things
drop.

At

we laughed at this comedy without giving offense, but soon our


became a ticklish affair, because the old fellow began to feel more

first

laughter

He

and more insulted.

interrupted

by hissing "Sh!

it

but every time

sh! sh!"

he was forced by his work to go back into the "house," his efforts were
reduced to nought.

Maybe he once lost a law suit to his neighbor? For he now


One would have liked to spare him, but comedy

struck quite

a tragic figure.

"Sh! sh!"

it

will drive

him

to destruction.

And

is

merciless.

"Sh! sh!" echoes a saucy

Oriental boy, and our sympathy for the unfortunate man's anguish turns
again into

its

opposite.

There were guests nearby who partook of nothing but

They

well-played drama.

who were

of the sane

meant

got laughs gratis. This

against the pitiful

Don

this extraordinarily

that the majority

Quixote was swollen enormously.

The
came running and almost

Louis and August became daring and secretly rolled bread balls.
chickens doubled in number, and

many

broke their legs in their eagerness.

Don

courage.

But then

the midst of the

chicks

Quixote's nearsightedness gave us

a giant bread ball fashioned

by August rolled

army of chickens. This seemed

leisurely into

Don

to arouse

Quixote's

suspicion.

Louis secretly caught a few chicks and let

Quixote didn't see


Arab,

who had

it

them

too well and blamed the

flutter

on the

little chicks.

Don
An

table.

"Sh! sh!"

controlled himself until then, one of the nonpaying guests,

began shaking with laughter. Everyone howled and thrashed about with

arms and

legs.

The

noise turned into a hurricane

to go into the house, as

ordered.

On

this

he did

just

whenever the old

occasion August threw

them

a piece of cheese,

caught in the act by the returning innkeeper. "Ah!

du pain

!"

man had

then to look after the coffee we had

II

but he was

ne faut pas leur donner

August: "Pardon, Monsieur, cest du frontage." "Mais par

megarde! par megardeir

The

old slipper-slopper sat

down

exhausted, this

was the end of him.


Luckily for him, our train was
1

cafe

are his last words.

An

now about

to leave. "Trois francs avec le

appropriate tip to the Negro, and

we

are

off.

JERUSALEM

MY

HIGHEST

BLISS, 1914, l6l

297 / Trip to Tunisia


episode would have provided us with enough memorable things for

The

twenty-two stations on the

at least

Emmenthal

We

dor of the land took hold of us again.

But here the new splen-

line.

dubbed the piece

of cheese a

"cheese-cube," and then silence reigned.

Akouda,

fabulous town, greets us briefly and temptingly, an image that

perhaps, and whisks by. At two o'clock, Kairouan.

will last for a lifetime

Our

Small French suburb with two hotels.

thirst for tea

is

abundantly slaked,

may be

so that the discovery of this marvelous Kairouan

carried through

properly.

At

an overwhelming tumult, culminating that night with the

first,

No

arabe.

essence of

same time

ment and

effect.

And what

Thousand and One Nights, with

What

content.

but the total

single thing,

an aroma,

clarifying.

how

Nourishment, the most

delicious drink.

Food and

it

Manage
The

was!

a ninety-nine percent reality

how

penetrating,

a totality

intoxicating,

real

and

at

the

and substantial nourish-

intoxication. Scented

wood

is

burning.

Home?
Thursday, 4.16. In the morning, painted outside the

9260.

No

city; a

gently

Then sketched in town.


A stupid guide provided a comic element. August taught him German words,
but what words. In the afternoon, he took us to the mosque. The sun darted
diffused light

falls,

through, and how!

at

once mild and

We

clear.

rode a while on the donkey.

In the evening, through the streets.


watercolors.

tiful

We

cafe decorated with pictures. Beau-

ransacked the place buying.

mouse. Finally someone killed

An

fog.

it

We

with a shoe.

evening of colors as tender as they were

clear.

Happy

hour. Louis found exquisite color tidbits

since

am

it
I

so skillful at

now abandon work.

and

it

gives

me

9*6p.

this

street scene

around a

at a sidewalk cafe.

Virtuosos at checkers.

and

was to catch them,

it.

It

penetrates so deeply and so gently into me,

confidence in myself without

don't have to pursue

meaning of

landed

it.

It will

me

possess

happy hour: Color and

effort.

always,

are one.

am

feel

Color possesses me.

know

it.

That

is

the

a painter.

Friday, 4.17. In the morning, again painted outside the town, close

to the wall,

on

sand

hill.

Then went on

walk alone because

was so over-

298 / Diary III


flowing, out through a gate,
I

got closer

determined

plants, frogs,

and

it

where

few

and

trees stand, rarities

was a small park.

water basin

When

rarity.

with water

filled

tortoises.

Back through the dusty gardens before the town, painted a last watercolor
while standing. Near the hotel, scenes of people on a roof. Below, an excited

woman.

crowd. She defended herself, weeping, her child on her back.

Louis was sorry for her.

The

the morning.

next day.
I

had

Today

had

packed

to be alone;

to leave to regain

The

my

few things;

Good

lads.

what

later,
I

my

train leaves at 11 in

on the same afternoon

of the

had experienced was too powerful.

senses.

other two travel with

experience.

my

other two will follow

Very

me

after

gifted.

all; it

seems they too have had their

Macke

and

facile

Moilliet

brilliant.

dreamy. In the train they wrestle again, to the astonishment of the natives.

An

oil

merchant,

really saturated

with

moves away, puckering up

odor. Louis

In Kalaa-srira, again ate at

Don

it,

facing us. Exudes a penetrating

his nose.

Quixote's.

am

Today

all eyes.

his

mood

quite relaxed, quite mild. Perhaps he has just got over a

too stay away. Perhaps locked up, perhaps they have

all

fit.

is

elegiac

The

and

chickens

been poisoned? Dead?

One cannot tell.

TUNIS
Upon

arriving in

and ask us to come

Tunis we learn that our medical couple are going out


too.

The

officer's

wife will be delighted by our

visit

and

some eggs, "sunny side up." I decline; today I want to eat in festive
namely alone. Louis respects decorum and accepts. I let the nurse pre-

will fry us
style,

pare a fine bath

she

is

an expert

at this

with steaming

to the best Italian restaurant, the "Chianti."

Chianti, which prickles like Barbera wine.


genially about

my

secret

towels.

Then August showed

debauchery and sang a

And

then

Ate wonderfully and drank

little

up, smiled

paean to the squander-

ing of money.

926q.

Saturday, 4.18. Tunis. Louis bought things for his wife.

bered that

had

to

do something of the kind myself.

We

strolled

remem-

through the

299 / Trip to Tunisia


beautiful souks.

He

bargained hard over an amber necklace.

When

all

was

"Ce nest pas de Vambre." But he didn't


confront the merchant with his advice. It was amber after all,
opinion, made of powder. Not complete pieces. I am now very

done, a connoisseur nearby declared:

want us to
but, in his

wary of these Orientals; the jewelers and perfume merchants are extremely
elegant gentlemen indeed, but
I

then bought a beautiful knife and leather cushions. Two. Besides, a

and an old

beautiful amulet, rings,

Light rain, "the

coin.

autumn,"

since

first

fell

for a brief hour.

Jaggi's little

daughter tossed blissfully in the courtyard with her umbrella, which she had
received at Christmas

Louis had

which the

Italians sell.

He

be drunk!"

moredly,

He must

we drove out

to use until

now.

beautiful purchase: pornographic photographs,

smiled happily over his possession.

was happy about the

Jaggi
all

and had not been able

made another

rain:

'Tonight, the colored folk will certainly

go and see his garden in Saint-Germain.

in his car.

He

also

Good

hu-

needed wine.

Arriving there after a rather uninteresting drive, he uttered a "Hey!" Seeing that

we had only

partly painted his rooms.

In the cellar he uttered


of his bottles.

"What

still

another "Hey!" because August dropped one

a shame, such

the wine was too sharp for our taste.

doctor was expecting literary

company

Another comical scene took place


a bit excited
as a result,

his

smiled skeptically,

raced back to town because the

in the evening, partly in our honor.

at this affair.

The Europeans had become

under the influence of the "good wine," and the conversation,

became

a little spicy.

Whereupon

whispered to Louis to pass

pornographic photographs around. August heard this and at once

into a violent laughing

three of us laughed like


fit

We

good wine!"

We

fit.

The

madmen and

couldn't recover for a long time.

started all over again, with special violence,

wife begged us to

9z6r.

tell

her

why we were laughing

Sunday, 4.19. Departure from Tunis.

departure.

Many

watercolors and

me, deep inside, but I'm so

full

fell

scoundrel contaminated us too, so that the

all sorts

that

it

whenever
so

First,

The

a certain officer's

much.

the preparations for the

of other things.

keeps bubbling out.

Most

of

it

inside

300 / Diary III


Paid one dutiful
the result of the

the

visit to

fall

"museum."

great deal of

Roman

This

art.

is

of Carthage.

the evening, boarded the ship. Ma and Mo stayed a few days more.
somewhat restless, my cart was overloaded, I had to set to work. The
big hunt was over. Now I had to unravel.

At

5 in

I felt

part of

is

my

combination

ticket,

reimbursed there, but only at the place where


result
class.
lit

me

very mediocre ship, the Capitaine Pereire, took

mixte, which

had

Luckily

by an

oil

pay

to

as far as

Palermo.

was the only passenger.

lamp, one could smell

ple to thank him, his

little

The Navigation

ran.

purchased

couldn't be

my

As

ticket.

And to save money I traveled third


The men's dormitory was large. It was

at once.

it

Below stood the handsome black

in.

no longer

my

car,

host Jaggi

Ma

daughter, and

who

doesn't like peo-

and Mo, who did

me

the honor

of escorting me.

Now

ish faces.

really

He was

shaved cheeks to
only meant

Hadn't

They asked how

stood above, the others below.

without

"fine,"

it

being convinced of

not at
kiss

all

moved by our

and pretended

as a farce,

but

always addressed

took

it

him with

be

to

Ma

it.

third class

me

leave-taking. Offered
filled

seriously

with sorrow. In

and kissed

said

is.

kept making priceless

fool-

closely

he

reality,

his childlike face.

the familiar du without formality?

He

spoke a very broken kind of Schweizerdeutsch which one can't take quite
seriously;

when we spoke High German,

never could bring myself to say du

to him.

One had to
much any

say

was beautiful,

shout in order to be understood below. Therefore

we had been
we were good comrades. Our
more; after

all,

hearts

would have been ready for some youthful escapades,


Be that as it may, I was the oldest.

One

time

Ma had cast soulful glances

toward

was posing. Immediately she made

d'un

officier

And

right after, she appeared downstairs.

for flight.

And

remained

a joke,

An

the two of

them

which was

really ran

didn't

together day and night. Oh,

had

felt so light

in spite of

that

it

we

being married.

balcony where the "femme"

a sign

felt called

and disappeared

upon

inside.

to give the signal

away with me. And

so

it

always

just as well.

exceptionally obliging guide took us to one of the bordello alleys.

great scene took place there, because

Count Louis

couldn't

resist

smiling

301 / Trip to Tunisia

French

at the sight of a fat

girl

in a short child's dress.

She flew at the

guide with a snappy voice that was in strange contrast with her babyish appearance.

"Tu amenes

des gens, sale cochon, qui viennent rigoler devant

ma

porte!!"

The

native replied in his

own brand

about to leap on

quarry. Louis pointed a forefinger at the fellow's

of prey

They were

legs.
fit

really

its

worth looking

of French; he trembled like a beast

and

at,

all

because of an old tart at best

for soldiers!

On

one occasion, the only one, we saw a

incredible

how much

fact too, simply

little

Arab beauty, and

Mo

she resembled August's wife.

it

was

commented on

this

because he can't keep anything to himself.

Now

pained that the three of us were standing there observing her like

As

it

again felt

this.

happened, there were two whores, but the second was not very

attrac-

Unfortunately, one can do anything to these creatures, except photo-

tive.

graph them.

And

You can manage

camera they

see the

so

after us.

we

it

only once in a great while.

left too.

instant they

But the creatures reappeared and shouted something

Louis answered something drastic in Bernese dialect.

was a not very proper gesture from the beautiful


jarred

The

flee.

girl

and

The

last

saw

a vulgar laugh that

with an otherwise pretty and delicate vision. Vulgarity even here, then.

(But certainly only because of European influence.)

Thus, partly through

my

doing, partly through circumstances, the merry,

and Mo were successfully kept out of misThey never got further than Macke's motto: "Hey, let's go!"
Now, let them do what they please, the two of them. In a very short while

brash, lusty

young

fellows

Ma

chief.

I'll

be floating toward

Italy,

and

they'll

be

left to

themselves.

Who

In Trappani, they say, the goats are beautiful; perhaps they will try

it

knows.

that

way

there.

My
fore,

ship won't stop in Trappani, so

my two

voices,

friends of the brush.

we scream

few

hear this very minute. Farewell there-

The

last trifles at

noise increases.

away. Actually the third-class cabin was pretty bad.

because
left

didn't

want them

to laugh at

With blooming

each other, and the wind blows them

my

said

it

was good only

thriftiness. In reality

had already

long ago. Perhaps they too had already stopped thinking about me.

merely wanted to see the ship leave.

They

302 / Diary

HI

From Palermo
if I

to Naples, however,

actually remain the sole passenger,

poor quarters. However,

me my

bring

must not

And

shall again travel in fine style!


it

will

be quite

don't like

all right. I

forget the sly steward.

He

going to

is

meals, perhaps in a spittoon for seasick people. Perhaps he

He

better than he looks.

hymn

ought to sing a

grande nation;

to the

is

how

grotesque that would be!


I

in

won't undress, even

my

brush again.

on the next day

if
.

but

now

few of

the ship

is

my

hairs are going to stick

about to leave,

go out once

again to look one last time at the funny faces peering up. (Don't disturb me,

you traveling companion who shared

a free laugh in Kalaa-srira,

me

straddling between Africa and Europe! Don't speak to

am now

about the land-

scape being quite Cubist there!!


Louis's shark eye seems to be looking for a victim.

Where might

He

stares so fixedly!

who want to see the boat


leave. Seen from where I am, they are just a mass. The second time, when
Don Quixote was so mild and so disappointingly wistful, we shouldn't have
among

the victim be

the

deprived ourselves of coffee. For, the

and the second time, without

cafe"

At

The

sea.

stomach.

ship rolls a

Now I am

little. It

had

than

I lie

feared.

down somewhere on

When
I

to have

vous

s'il

something

an orphan! The food

The wine

No

cost "trois francs avec

is

strong, bluish

plates, just the tin

is

my

in

mediocre,

and foaming.

bowl placed

and "bon appetit" The steward,

le

plait."

too,

is

be-

better

thought. But as for going to bed, not too soon.

my dream
inside

fork,

it

"trois francs,

coffee,

might be good

Everything has been cooked together.

me, the knife and

people

time,

first

really alone, alone like

the bowl not as bad as

fore

many

aboard ship

at last

deck,

begin to feel a bit

and climb up on

it is

a mild night.

And

here

experience

my berth.

chilly, in spite of

And,

in spite of

my

winter fur coat,

it all, fall

sound

asleep.

go

And

don't need a cradle to rock me.

926s.

Palermo. Monday, 4.20.

Woke up

early, off the Sicilian coast. Fresh,

mountainous scenery; sometimes we steam closely along the coast and one
might be tempted to make comparisons with the Lac des Quatre Cantons.
Certainly the grandeur of the landscape around Sidi-Bou-Said has gone.

up and down on the promenade deck, which

is

being scrubbed by two

walk

sailors.

303 / Trip to Tunisia


After a while another passenger

deck (just as
everywhere).
while, then

when

I,

was

comes

me

hope he won't draw

up and down on the promenade

to pace

into a conversation.

train chugs along.

And there are hardly any


many beautiful bays! The sea almost smooth.
doing up there?

We
city.

due

are soon

And

in

mountain, cover

it

villages to

How

comical.

it is

impossible at present to imagine a

is it

to spread out, will

here

it is.

entirely?

At

last,

Here then

climb up the

it

the celebrated

lies

medium-size harbor (compared to Genoa and

Marseille), but beautiful, like

The

harbors.

all

red

mountain over there

We don't put in at the pier, but are taken ashore in a launch.


on the boat quarrel with each other,

on the

pier.

assures

Arabia

is

me

Now

have to entrust
that the check

it

to

see

as usual.

There

is

Of

course the

a peculiar stench

smell of urine!

what

room

and hope to

protection then,

The

cleaner.

original fagades.

shall

cer-

powerful personality!

sailors

will

What

be seen! But a great

where

town! Doesn't seem big.

Very

for a

Palermo, but

a large city at that:

tainly has a

him

avoid

he disappears.

Over there on the dark mountains a


is it

snoop about

a second-class passenger, used to

shall

do with

my

luggage? Against

is

thoughts and

a highly official institution.

Under God's

you again!

on the evening steamer to Naples.

my

my

somebody. Someone reads

Made

go to Via

Roma

mental note of

to rent a cabin
a tea

room on

Piazza Marina, for the afternoon. After a few hours of strolling about, in the
course of which

prepared myself for the eventuality of lunch,

the only restaurant in this big city. Tired

very well anyway. Spinach grows here the

"Roman Restaurant"
three of us, all

two

Palermo

is

meal, had a short, carefree

Then lounged about


for it).

Stretched out

way

pretty girls

grow

is

found

hot.

Ate

in Saxony.

natives are also lunching here. Except for the

nap

my

(sitting).

(my hunger

gone, but

dusty shoes toward a shoeshine

were licked into mirror brightness;

my

at last

probably severely bourgeois and married. After

the harbor again

my

and hungry; the weather

down

under,

all

the thirstier

artist;

soon they

was quite the dandy; up in

room and a desperate yearning for something to drink.


turned out all right and was delicious. A very genteel atmosphere, with

head, the tea

It

antique furniture and paintings.


Swiss.

The

tea

is

soon ready, but

The
it

lady

seems

who

like

an

runs the shop speaks a


eternity. It

is

little

magnificent, as

HI

304 / Diary
is

...

the pastry

only the creature would vanish from sight after two

If

nude photographs that

seconds, like the beautiful

Duomo:

reins near the

pleasure

an

two seconds,

exactly

undischarged one.

stood the

tried

so that
test,

it

me

and

to the heart

would not turn into

morally speaking, laughed

sly vendor, and was able to do without. Drinking


more urgent than anything at this moment! Love, or "amore"

about the

tea,

however,

is

they say here,

as

applying the word both to the most dissolute and the most beautiful kinds,

me

strikes

as

unimportant

comparison.

in

Restored and completely transformed,


shine boy

who

had made

earlier

my

strolled on, trotting

shoes gleam so dazzlingly.

the splendid ship, Citta di Catania, but one


I

lie

comes.

down
Now,

luggage

is

Later

one may board

checked. Nothing

is

ship.

go quickly to the shed where

my

missing.

discovered that there was at least one

the ship, to

yet.

a litalienne par terre and wait in this position until twilight


at last,

leather case for


I

may not board

by the shoe-

To

little

thing missing:

my

my name tag.

was led to a cabin that delighted me. "Seconda classa?"

amazed. "No, signor,

la

prima dossal" or something

like

it

asked, quite

was the

reply.

"Mrral" ("I have no objection.")

Now.

again go to a good look-out post to watch the preparations for

weighing anchor.

How

beautiful

Gradually the ship was

filled;

it

was, this time,

on the

how

more numerous. Meanwhile night had begun to


sailed at 8:30 p.m., how warmly the people shouted
each other.

How

short a step

it is,

marvelously beautiful.

pier too the onlookers

here,

from

fall.

became more and

And when

the ship

perfectly lovely phrases at

reality to poetry.

Dear, eloquent

people! Choir and soloists!


I

was the only one to

whom

no one shouted anything from below. The

thought raised a powerful emotion in me. The


taking sounded

more

distant; the shouters

with the ship's tempo; only the very


those

who had moved

Something shouted
simply because

it

The

eyes of a

young

musical phrases of leave-

ones were

still

clearly audible,

from

out in time onto the breakwater.


in

me, shouted a reply to them and could not shout,

could not.

came from the depths

last

last

were no longer able to keep up

of

And

yet

all

of

me

cried out in a tearful voice that

my being.

Italian lady

met mine soon

after.

She had probably ob-

305 / Trip to Tunisia


served me.

glanced away and looked for a spot where

it

was pitch dark.

In-

deed, such eyes have an effect.

Later

An

went

entire

to dinner.

book could be written about

True,

this dinner.

it

cost something,

whereas the French transatlantique included the meals in the price of the
even cost four

fare. It

much

lire. I

assumed from the beginning that there would be

on ten courses would have seemed too daring.

to eat, but to figure

the brakes on at the beginning, but far too


ful that

took that course seriously.

up.

so difficult that

For some time

preserved

it

my

The

put

spaghetti was so wonder-

began to find the going rough with the

boar and pine needles and compote. But


a difficult victon

little.

played the

was impossible
slightly

game

to the end. It

was

at first to think of getting

bent eating position, so

as

not to

injure myself by stretching.


I

mention

this

because

extraordinary

For
fine
I

a long

Dutch

mood on
time

pipe,

had never been


even

this ship that

sat, until

this

deep sleep

in

my

at

in

considered
start

a sacrifice,

it

felt in

such an

was bound to happen.

any

My

bed and dreaming sweetly.

price!

leather chair.

everyone else had gone. Courage and to bed.

man, was already

was able to go to the smoking lounge. Here,

and no second getting-up

finally fell into a

a glutton.

god of the palate; from the

a sacrifice offered to the

When

got into

woke

up, almost

neighbor, an aging gentle-

mine

as quickly as

possible.

Wonderfully cool

linens, blindingly white,

good

for

one who

is

as

hot as an

oven.

926t.

Naples.

pletely,

had

by

left

after this

Rome. Tuesday,

my roommate

4.21. In the

morning, awakened, but not com-

brushing his teeth and rinsing his mouth. After he

the cabin, the bed felt so delicious that

second slumber

Capri. This excites me.

Naples appears;

it

am

went back

able to go to the window.

The heavenly

had enchanted

to sleep.

Only

We are right behind

bay!

me

before, a dozen years ago. It appears

out of a slightly veiled atmosphere, the Posilipo showing clearest, and then

What a city! It approaches far too quickly,


am not undertaking an Italian journey, this
the East and now I must remain there. That

the whole amphitheater of houses.

and then

have to go on. For

must not be forgotten!

was

in

306 / Diary III

music must not be mixed with others. The influences here are too dangerous!

And

down on

boatsmen again come

each other's heads. But


children quarrel.

and

to a lira

stead of

again

fifty. I

up

lifts

it

But

Marvelous

is.

notice

it

who

helps

perfidiously,

methought

a silver

when

fare,

which comes

railroad station

was close by.

the

him with my

an eloquent gesture and

Magnificent display of scenery!

rascal of a

twenty centesimi coin

right away, threaten

on

close to breaking their oars

had forgotten that the

his hat with

leisurely intonation
sat opposite

always

always works out without bloodshed, just as

And hands me

off there.

it

venture on a hackney, inquire about the

a half.

Smiling super-politely

me

arrival threatening, as

the light ladder. At a critical spot, a spruce sailor

us along. Below, the

lets

The

onward, onward.

so,

climbing

cab driver

as change, in-

finger.

Whereat he

trots off at a brisk pace.

Two Roman women I

can

and the phlegmatic manner and the "sh"

by the

tell

in "stupido"

me. Both read novels, and from time to time they inform each

number of pages they have covered.


Campagna green! Harsh landscape around Rome. And Rome

other of the

itself,

bright

strewn in the distance below, the cathedral standing out clearly!

Rome.

Strolled over to the Piazza Colonna. It seems as

only yesterday! For lunch: coratella con


the Fontana Trevi through

my

if I

had been there

carcioffli. Still a real treat!

Then

to

old street, the Via dell' Archetto, and, since

time was getting short, by trolley to the Ferrovia.

At 2:40 p.m.,

left for

Florence. Umbria, somber region. Then, gradually,

Tuscan gayness. The people more light-hearted


as wine.

Short build, almost as in Vaud.

too.

believe

Trasimeno, the light soft and dusky. In Florence


p.m.) and

926U.

went

right

Wednesday,

on

it

Among
we

them, faces red

also passed

by Lake

was already dark (8:30

to Milan.

4.22. Arrived at six a.m.

(Milan) and stayed two hours.

Breakfasted at the station. Europe certainly began here. Industrial and commercial people. Serious faces. Nothing behind them. At 8:15, off on the

Lotschberg

train.

Frequent stops on Lake Maggiore, not unpleasant.

have a

pleasant conversation with this landscape. Beneath me, the wheels are

mering,

hear the

song of the blind

Add

irresistible

man

in

rhythm

of the tambourine

ham-

accompanying the

Hammamet!

to this the sight of the doll-like islands.

Toys

in a washbasin.

But

307 / Trip to Tunisia


pretty, awfully pretty! Little houses

Then we branch

another

off to

and

little trees (Hiisli

little lake,

And then the scenery becomes Alpine and


Then Simplon, Brig, Lotschberg, Kandersteg,
Bern

a forget-me-not.

And on
In

928.
its

Spiez.

Not

bad!

somber. Domodossola.

slightly

The Thunersee

sweet as

at 3 p.m.

Saturday, 4.25., traveled on to Munich.

my

genesis,

quickly,

u Baumli), bathing.

blue with a red shoreline.

and

productive

productive activity, every time a type grows beyond the stage of

and

have about reached the goal, the intensity gets

have to look for new ways.

this

the essential thing; becoming

is

the

It is precisely

lost very

way which

is

more important than

is

being.

Graphic work
ing pencil

movement of the hand holding the recordhow I practice it is so fundamentally differ-

as the expressive

which

is

essentially

ent from dealing with tone and color that one can use this technique quite

On

well in the dark, even in the blackest night.

ment from

presupposes some

light to dark)

the other hand, tone (move-

and color presupposes

light,

great deal of light.

If I

929.

whom

were a god to

one prayed,

rassed, that a supplicant's intonation

a finer note

was sounded, no matter how

what

"giving vigor to

is

good with

should be extremely embar-

might somehow sway me. The moment


softly,

my

drop of

would

dew." In

more than a small


must be maintained in the first

grant a small part, and never

part, for

that the good

place,

live

without the

evil.

tain degree bearable.


self at
I

the right time.

would

also

From

tolerate

this

be easy to deceive

dispense a yes; a short,


grant

would

Of

am

can see that

aware of

am

in the prayer

at once,

know

yes,

would

full well
it

cannot

would order the


things to a cer-

not yet a god.


it.

of transforming

me

would be quick

to

me

to

would be enough

would be capable

acting quite capriciously

And

make

it.

But then,

way

no revolution, but would make one my-

and

moving tone

once say

but that

In each particular case, therefore,

proportionate weights of the two components, so as to

at
this

for

308 / Diary III


Into the monstrous thing

That lies

in

ambush

whole families weep

Till

Whenas

its

poison

Strikes deep.
I

would

desire to put

on

a lot of historical theater:

time from their epochs;

one would be delighted


I

it

(if I

would loosen periods

would make laughable confusion. But many


ever

met

of
a

a knight errant in the field, for instance,

would be overjoyed!).
I'd

make

I'd

put mold in their provender,

fools of the little folk, so dear,

Pain in their pairing,

Acid in their beer.


I founded an order and on

its

banner

set

A merrily dancing tear.

Why do you cling so toward nightfall?

930.

"It

is

dawning!

But when it fearfully hammers,


But when it rends apart
Will you know
That you have a heart.

Then its driving desire is enhearsed,


And it wasn't a mere turn of phrase,
For the bladder burst."

(The respondent
931.

dies.)

am armed, I am not here,


am in the depths, am far away
am far away

glow amidst the dead.

I
I

932.

The

creation lives as genesis beneath the visible surface of the work.

All intelligent people see this after the fact, but only the creative see

it

before

the fact (in the future).

309 / Trip to Tunisia

MEDIEVAL

933.

Invent the chorus mysticus that would have to be performed by several

hundred children's

voices.

Whoever knew how

to

do

need to make strenuous exertions. In the long run, the


to

this,

would no longer

many

small works lead

it.

934.

CITY, 1914, 15

Misery.

Land without ties, new land


With no warm breath of memory,
With the smoke of a strange hearth.
Reinless!

Where no mother's womb


Between 934 and 935, war broke

out.

carried

me.

310 / Diary III

935.

The

the clever

big animals

little flies

sit

mournfully around the table and are not

climb upon mountains of bread and

936.

Only one thing

937.

One

938.

Human

939.

Seen from a church tower, the

How much
940.

is

me, a weight, a

true: in

eye sees, the other

little

filled.

But

live in a city of butter.

stone.

feels.

animal, timepiece built of blood.

more from where

The moon /

activity

am! (Satyr

in the railroad station:


in the forest: a

play,

on the square looks comical.

addendum

to 931.)

one of the many lamps

drop in the beard

on the mountain:

let's

hope

it

won't

and that the cactus won't pierce

roll

down!

it!

and that you won't burst your bladder sneezing!

941.

Ingres

is

said to

have ordered the motionless;

pathos and order motion. (The

942.

A: Grandpa

Quick, give the dog

Perhaps the

rides
its

want

to go

merry-go-round on the pepper mill. B:

teeth!

size of the full

Not everyone should

beyond

new Romanticism.)

C:

What

is it

moon! (Both

you wish?

glass ball!

A thief?
How big?

parties smile understandingly.)

guess this thing; otherwise,

woe

is

me,

D:

should be be-

trayed.

943.

Genesis as formal motion

is

the essential thing in a work.

In the beginning the motif, insertion of energy, sperm.

Works

as

shaping of form in the material sense: the primitive female

component.

Works

as

form-determining sperm: the primitive male component.

My drawings belong to

the male realm.

3u

-fpKf

10.

INSTRUMENT FOR

NEW MUSIC,

1914, 10

/ Trip to Tunisia

312 / Diary III

The shaping

944.

From

of form

The

termining of form.

is

final

the ways to the end.

weak

in energy in

comparison with the de-

consequence of both ways of forming

From

activity to the accomplished.

is

form.

From

the

Then

the

genuinely living thing to the objective thing.


In the beginning the male speciality, the energetic stimulus.

growth of the egg. Or:

fleshly

the bright flash of lightning, then the rain-

first

ing cloud.

When

is

the spirit at

its

purest? In the beginning.

Here, work that becomes (dual). There, work that

My

945.

was

crystal-clear soul

at times blurred

is.

by vapors,

my

towers some-

times surrounded by clouds.

Pain

settles

down by love;

Without yearnings
I

cannot

946.

Dream:

naked one

947.

live for a

long time nor for a short time.

find

my house:

empty, the wine drunk, the

White on

stolen, the epitaph erased.

Sounds from the distance.

river diverted,

my

white.

friend early in the

morning behind the

mountain. Blowing of horns, emeralds.

U.

A greeting thought calls me,

ments one of the


O.

star tied us, its eye

in content

promising kisses to souls that have presenti-

other.

found

us:

two beings who

are identical, but

meaning!:

"A
948.

more

than in form. Sacred stones, yesterday; today, no enigma; today,

friend early in the

kind of

From
a

morning behind the mountain."

stillness

glows toward the bottom.

the uncertain

something shines,

not from here,


not from me,

but from God.

From God! Were

it

only an echo,

313 / Trip to Tunisia

Were it only God's


still it

mirror,

would be the nearness

of

God.

Drops of the deep,


Light-in-itself.

Who ever slept and caught his breath:


he

found

end

in the beginning.

"Deer Kopap he send

Felix writes:

949.

his last

millers cow. einmilerschas

number

me

a pic pickcher book,

and thou

wen he

23 [thirty-two], feliz klee. ot ut

is

a rascle."

The

1915.

950.

me. As

if

heart that beat for this world seems mortally

only memories

still

tied

me

to "these" things

wounded

Am

in

turning

into the crystalline type?

Mozart took refuge (without neglecting


most

for the

part.

Whoever

his inferno!)

on the joyous

does not understand this might confuse

side,

him with

the crystalline type.

One

951.

and now to

deserts the realm of the here

into a realm of the yonder

where

total affirmation

is

transfer one's activity

possible.

Abstraction.

The cool Romanticism of this style without pathos is unheard of.


The more horrible this world (as today, for instance), the more abstract our
art,

whereas

Today

is

happy world brings forth an

a transition

fragments to some of which we


material.

art of the

here and now.

from yesterday. In the great


still

cling.

pit of

They provide

forms

lie

broken

abstraction with

its

junkyard of unauthentic elements for the creation of impure

crystals.

That

is

how

it is

today.

But then: the whole crystal


and death. But how can I die,
I,

cluster
I

once bled.

who am

thought

was dying, war

crystal?

crystal.

952.

have long had

nothing to me.

this

war inside me. This

is

why,

interiorly,

it

means

314 / Diary III

19 is
'das -fa)

<A*yt~
*&/

tu

ctit

*uf elth*

*^W

t't-t'tf*

fic~J>fi 76tfc>

'<fttH/>t'f

i*.

l>tfrt~

W&daA

)'**&*

A^j^W/aT^

v&ylSecije&H.

<vxvduit dt? dtfU^J^M, tfttf**^

Je J&u*~M*+&r, duse
cleg'

WM%ie*^

7**u.}

* hh'

-t+cfat k&t-J>4/Hj fit

cuic

&*

h^ttf-

cle***,

m*.<~

-tx*.

*hhC

*'??**> *.jA*:p

}f<r?

Joc/c

>fc*i*.

tu*~

(vie fvaJt,

cJutA&'JLe fre/t

frle

'**t eU-fttt w^

UJZ)

Jesfc

dtf&tttyc <~%mJ-

tt,'*e*Ve A***-?-

f^.

aAtiuii
Au*riA,g t

tfif^'cA**

9M-

315 / Trip to Tunisia

And

to

my way

work

out of

my

ruins,

had

to

fly.

And

flew.

remain in

ruined world only in memory, as one occasionally does in retrospect.

this

Thus,

am

"abstract with memories."

Certain crystalline formations, against which a pathetic lava

953.

is

ulti-

mately powerless.

Dream:

954.

asked the geishas only for a

that serves as a manifold substitute for

At the

temptation

slightest

all

little

music and some "of the tea

the geishas of the world."

heard a soft knocking.

the knocking, a small sprite stretched out his tiny

me

gently

upward into

There, things

fell

petizingly laid out

The

955.

Futurist
I

am

up, not down.

in

light breakfast, including eggs,

What

me

Germany. Futurism

also a Futurist. It's just that


it is

led

was ap-

ceiling.

magnificent, fat Daubler gives

(Perhaps

followed

his region.

on the

temperament

When

hand toward me and

I still

unfortunate that he

still

his

soft

hand. "Yours

is

tied to the traditional culture.

use rime."

rimes?)

meant to me was at first something largely physical:


That one's own body could be in danger, without
which there is no soul! The reservists in Munich, singing foolishly. The
wreathed victims. The first sleeve turned up at the elbow, the safety pin on
it. The one long leg, clad in Bavarian blue, taking huge strides between two
crutches. The actualization of the letter of the history book. The coming to
life of the pages of old picture books. Even though no Napoleon appeared,
956.

the war

that blood flowed near by.

but merely a lot of Napoleonettos.


it

as a

957.

wad

dung on

Cannot

Between
his feet,

of

science

me and

The whole

work

its

way out

much

sense to

of just being receptive?

Lotmar, for instance, a thick fence.

through maybe

Why

can

hardly see

a loose spot?

distant voice, before the voice changed,

pathetic: a fine,

business had as

a shoe heel.

good man,

at heart.

moans

in a

way

that was once

316 / Diary III


Leave-taking

What

is

not always so very easy.

between

a weighty destiny: to be the hinge

side, a

hinge at the border of yesterday and today.

958.

The outward

existence of an artist

may

reveal a

this side

number

and the other

of things about

the nature of his work.

My

childhood friend Haller loves

with such passion that he practically

life

hunts for shattering emotional experiences,

lest

he miss something. This

worldly drive was only useful to his art for a short time, until his imitative
type of statuette, which has

How
tion a
I

way

of

once led a

me

its

life

spiritual

weighs on him that in

restless

mode

of

had been

great charm,

he to achieve an active

is

life,

until

But then?

created.

development now, when

itself

in addi-

requires a giant's constitution?

acquired a natural base that enabled

abandon that mode. (One disclaims "the stomach" by granting


neither too little nor too much, for both excite.)
to

Both of us married; he needed

to put the

it

emphasis on "beauty" and

more important matters. In consequence his


marriage began to founder. Nor did he want to give up the hunt for shattering
emotional experiences. The effects on his artistic activity could only be

thereby overlooked

other,

negative.

Then

body aged prematurely, and

his

mentality. It

young

would have been better

if

this

jarred

with his primitive

he had aged mentally and remained

physically!

In contrast to him,

thus had

broad, natural basis where

all

marriage as a sexual cure.


mystery.

a kind of

monk,

monk

fed

my

with a

regarded

romantic tendencies with the sexual

up with monogamy, and that was enough.


struggled away from memories, down toward the essence, and to

found that mystery

Here too

become

the natural functions found a place.

tied

a considerable depth, at that.

He fled from this world because he could no longer


He remained stuck halfway, yearned for the crystalline,
but could not tear himself out of the sticky mud of the world of appearances.
His art interprets this world as poison, as breakdown. He has advanced further than Haller, who is a quarter alive; he is half alive, living in a destructive
Kubin

stand

it

element.

is

a third case.

physically.

317 / Trip to Tunisia

DEATH ON THE BATTLEFIELD, 1914, 172

Dr.

959.
a bit,

it

Hermann

seems.

On

my watercolors

Probst owns a few of

his urging,

had sent Rilke

poet personally brought back to me. His

visit

and

them

likes

a small selection,

gave

me

came with him.


once read passages of the Buck der Bilder and

quite

which the

really great pleasure.

picturesque, limping lady


I

at

des Malte Laurids Brigge. His sensibility

now

press

skin-deep.
area.

He

farthest,

The

on more toward the

He

is still

paid

less

is

of

Die Aufzeichnungen

very close to mine, except that

center, whereas his preparation tends to be

an Impressionist, while

have only memories

attention to the graphic work, where

than to the domain of color, which

perfect elegance of his appearance

is

is still

left in this

have advanced

in the process of maturing.

an enigma to me.

How

are such

things achieved?

960.

would

the Verlag der

like to

have

Weissen

my

Biicher,

Candide

illustrations back.

They

which even before the war put

are lying at

off

the publi-

318 / Diary III


cation in a strange way.

work were published

961.

Now it would be best if a book

was forced to write Franz Marc, who

length and

of

my

current graphic

first!

much more

seriously than

is

cared

much

at the front, at

expressed

to. I

my

greater

regrets at

having got into arguments about the theory of art with his wife. This,

had resulted from

my

help his wife

efforts to

who had

said,

perhaps only

lost her,

apparent, equilibrium and was opposed to her husband so far as art was concerned. This too was certainly only apparent, for

had

his better self in view. It

duels grow out of this,

if

the while she certainly

my

part, to let theoretical

only because of the difficulty of expressing oneself

which resulted

precisely in this field,

all

had been unwise, on

in a falsification of the

meaning "to be

expressed."
I

those that will

and
I

works

stressed the

come

mean

shortly.

those already produced, not even referring to

Frau Marc had also turned against Kandinsky,

thanked Franz Marc that he remained faithful to Kandinsky's work.

also protested forcefully against the notion of theory in itself

and stigma-

tized a passage in a letter that spoke of "falsely applied theory."

Then

defended the ego, distinguishing between

a self-seeking ego

and

divine ago.

This ego,

explained, was the only reliable element in the entire matter of

creative art and,

of

two

egos.

"Your

And

To

circle

went on,

and mine,

relied blindly

a while

my

trust in others rested

illustrate this point,

on

it

seemed

this fact,

was shaken in

on the

used two intersecting

to

me, had a

because

this conviction,

am

but

common domain

circles:

relatively large

common

area.

afraid of absolute solitude.

now

am

For

again completely

re-

assured."

What

was the cause of such

painter at the front?

useless incidents,

The weakness

of his wife,

worrisome for the brushless

who

still

cannot stand on her

319 / Trip to Tunisia

191$: 1*

Vi't^r Zaffn.

NAVAL STATION, 1915, 10

own two

and the influence of Kaminski, an insinuating prophet who

feet,

preaches in those parts.


Shortly thereafter,

962.

visibly thinner,

The continuous
began

Marc

got leave and, although he was very tired and

he came to Munich, never ceasing to


pressure

and

loss of

really to hate the cursed

officer's

To

freedom

costume, a poorly

relate his experiences.

weighed on him.

fitting

now

noncommissioned

uniform, with a tassled saber at the side.

speak more seriously with him,

visited

clearly

him

in

when he had had time

Ried near Benediktbeuren,

after

to recover,

having walked from Feldafing

to Bemried.

The

field-gray things

hung out

in the

open to

dry, like

emptied innards.

He

himself wore his sports trousers and colored jacket. This was better, indeed,

but

it

was not to

When
they

last long!

he had to leave again,

came

to eat with us.

his wife

cooked

risotto

accompanied him

to

Munich, and

We

and he brought some raw ham.

were gay, leave-taking did not seem unbearable to him.

He promised

to

duck

HI

320 / Diary

came

assiduously whenever something dangerous

The

through the

flying

smile that

is

He

simply part of him, simple and simplifying.

along for the burning ferment he

is in. It

air.

would appear, the

fellow ought to paint again, then his quiet smile

is

much

occurs because his vent

too far

not

is

al-

lowed to function.

He

ought to hate the

game more than he

soldier's

does, or even better,

it

ought to be indifferent to him.

963.

We

the

district, a

me

sternly through his glasses:

promise
could

summer

spent this

me

man

to return." This

I live,

later,

The

in Bern.

in a peace-time

sergeant-major

uniform and with a

"I give

who commands

fiery beard,

looked at

you the permission, but you must

did with a clear conscience, for where else

except Germany, where

had

just

developed a serious

fol-

lowing?
In Bern nothing had changed, everything had kept
bourgeois, forever normal. Shall
side, shall

always walk

A few excursions
to Kiental,

my way

life;

as for out-

in discreet, average fashion?

gave the illusion of movement.

On

where Lotmar was spending his vacation with

Then we

old shape, nicely

its

never lead any but an inner

Sunday we went out


his family.

spent a few days with an excited young lady in Fribourg, where

were to meet our Russians, Jawlensky and Werefkin,

The Dutch monster was called Frau L. H.


The Russians were, as always, highly talented

who came from

we
St.

Prex.

music and dragged Bach into

Wedekindian

We

people.

had

to play

milieu. Moilliet too was quickly

summoned, for a few anecdotes about this painter made our eager
mouth water. He came.
Just after we had played the G-minor Concerto, I went into the
boring room. There

found the

Louis was hard pressed on the


strangled him,
his larynx

possible,

had

not come

was not quite

and

in this

fat

Lulu riding on Frau

floor,
in.

in order.

L.'s

lady's

neigh-

back, but poor

gripped by her claws. She would have

Even

so,

he needed medical attention, for

Being annoyed, he

way acquired an

left

town

at

soon as

impartial opinion about the circum-

stances of L.'s divorce.

Another guest

who seemed

in the

house was the weakish son of a painter from Geneva,

to take advantage of L. His

good

mama

sat

through

it all

and

32i / Trip to Tunisia

ABSTRACT ARCHITECTS OF THE HEIGHTS,


1915, 232

322 / Diary
knitted.

HI

With

many

her husband, she had played a great

violin sonatas

by

the

we

"Mosar." She didn't know German.

For the third time, we


started to climb

peak.

The

warm

other nights

Ate meat again

again.

almost missed the


slowly began to

in a shepherd's
last

day,

first

beneath the

in the inn

hut by the upper

we

on

lake,

walked down

leisurely

Erlenbach and drank such merry wine that we

in

As we were

train.

sitting

down

breathless, a gentle rain

on the land.

fall

we spent

Later

we spent

was a wonderful evening. At

grass. It

On

on the Stockhorn.

settled

from Erlenbach and spent the night

few days

in

Gunten with Uncle

was

Moilliet. His wife

pregnant, and unhappy because he was enjoying himself.

On
for

the whole, social

much

went

to

much

too

life in

music,

Thun, trapped

Bern was very strenuous

we

as well as

monotonous;

received only material compensation.

in a quartet of clergymen.

We even

had

Once

to play

from

the manuscript a composition by one of the gentlemen. Lotmar thought that

only important composers should be performed during

Deep

within,

milieu

is

am

Joffre's fall offensive.

indifferent to the war, but the soft delusion of the Bernese

not good for

me

either.

have licked blood in the company of

real

must again appear in all his fullness on my threshold. The


will-o'-the-wisp Wolfskehl must again flitter through my modest rooms.
Kandinsky must at least greet me from the wall. The subtle Rilke must tell us

heads. Daubler

something about Tunis.

And Georg Hausmann

the searcher had better be

there.

In

964.

November Marc came home on

looked well; being an

officer,

he had

also

almost

feel like saying "unfortunately."

assumed the bearing of an

had with me
show them to him.

the same old Marc.

almost afraid to

The

last

leave as a lieutenant. This time he

he was able to take care of


officer.

am

him

and

well

not certain whether he was

still

evening he spent with us in Ainmillerstrasse, he was without his

She was

We

fitted

few variations by Jawlensky and was

ill, and he had already taken leave of


emanated from him, and he spoke little.

wife.

his appearance,

His new dress

played Bach, and the variations lay before

her.

Deep

him on the

seriousness

floor.

This was

323 / Trip to Tunisia

SPIRITISTIC

just his

CATASTROPHE, 1916, 32

way

of looking at paintings

and

listening to music. In the past

he had

often painted in his sketch book while listening to music.

Jawlensky's pictures seemed to


to the reverse of

mean something

to him.

He

called attention

one page obviously discarded by Jawlensky.

1916
965.

fateful year.

At the end

giving birth to a son, her


at

Verdun.

On March

first

11th

of January, Louis Moilliet's wife died while

child.

On March

was drafted

4th

my

friend Franz

Marc

Marc and I had not corresponded since his last leave; he had come
know my distaste for theorizing. This abnormal time should be over first,
the

more

so since

also could expect to

fell

at the age of thirty-five.

to
all

be forced any day to abandon paint

and brush.
I

was willing to exchange

ideas,

but healthy ideas arising from concrete

324 / Diary III


cases.

was ready to look

for causes with

him, but could not indulge

in search-

ing for hypothetical, basic presuppositions.

In this state of waiting and hoping, the telegram announcing his death

me

struck

like lightning. It

staying with the

widow

of

was sent by

journey there and breathe the same

The
that
slip

telegram called

far.

me

his wife

me

that

Frau Marc had had other company

to Frankfurt;

On

would be mustered

part, to

air.

She could not bear to be alone.

informing

from Bonn, where she was

August Macke. Ominous urge, on her

the same day


in

received the red

on March nth. That night

decided to clean up things a bit and emptied a number of drawers, thereby

my wife

disturbing

the bell rang,

gram

is

delivered.

member how

On
tion.

At

last

long, the

way

in her sleep.

and

shrill

With

a sense of

the next morning

night train and arrived

On

two

more

this

way,

named

disaster,

when an urgent
I

went

tele-

don't

re-

Marc was there at the


We came back on

Hirschfeld.

sta-

the

nine in the morning.

detailed information arrived from the front, as

letters to his wife.

and out of our apartment


Prepared in

at

rings at night

impending

Frankfurt. Frau

a family

home

the following days

well as Marc's last

left for

thought of her and went to bed; then

it

and the catastrophe occurred.

to the garden gate,

She had stayed with

Moreover, people kept coming in

to offer condolences to the

packed

my

widow.

bag and went to the District

Command

on March nth.

Now
address

have a new position in

is:

Recruits'

life:

am

Infantry Reservist Klee, and

Depot Landshut, Section Gabelsbergerhof.

my

Diary IV

LANDSHUT 1916
Depot Landshut, Section Gabels-

Infantry Reservist Klee, Recruits'

966.

bergerhof.

March nth,

Early on the morning of

Command

District

barracks (District

my

went with

Command, Munich

suitcase to the

At

I).

least the

weather was splendid. After we had been assembled there according to


structions written
a while.

on blackboards, we had

found

around and wait

kindly major wished us luck on our journey.

And

were going to Landshut.

Munich.

to stand

it

yet

humiliating

(it

had

We were

told that

tried to get permission to

was the

last

in-

for quite

we

remain in

day for a long time on which

was supposed to have an opinion about anything).

At about one
carrying guns,

in the afternoon,

and escorted

along the route. Close

streets

train at the station.

During the

sider yourself lucky to

some noncommissioned

officers arrived,

us to the railroad station. People celebrating in the


relatives.

Daughters. Tears. Jokes.

special

snap up a few consoling words. "Con-

trip, I

be coming to our town. There

isn't a better

place any-

where."

At about

4:30, arrived in Landshut. Again four by four.

march on the sidewalk. From

of troops at the windows.

calling of roll takes place.

Our

made

up.

quarters

we

We

are told to

schoolhouse, the sound of the ironic laughter

halt in the Heissgarten. There, a

good deal of

The sections are


Upon reaching our

passports are taken from us.

sergeant with a good head takes charge of us.

are divided, according to our height, into five detachments,

the while standing in the street. Night


get into our quarters, a large

room

in

is

beginning to

an inn, with

fall

when

bowling

alley.

dark

corporal apologizes in complicated language about the poor quarters.


stable,

knife

all

we
The

at last

with rows of straw sacks, on each one a loaf of bread, two plates, and

and

Narrow alleys between the straw pallets. Very hungry. No


Noncommissioned officers try to cheer us up. A few days later, we

fork.

real dinner.
will receive

permission to sleep in town.

That night
sausages,

and

awakened by
Sundays

at the inn

beer.

amidst smoke, headache (the

Then

a harsh

"On

most sensational

last for a

night. In the

long time),

morning we

are

your feet!" beginning one of the most memorable

ever.

327

328 / Diary
Sunday,

IV

3.12.,

than anything

awakened

at six.

Marched

else.

Had

a little sleep,

to breakfast.

At

first

more the

result of sadness

nauseated at the sight of

it.

Then we marched through the old town, very brave and stiff, four by four, to
the Prantlgarten. Under different circumstances the city would be enchanting.
At the Glaspalast we're

outfitted.

Again

terribly

loaded

straps, half civilian, half military,

nauseated by these rags and

down with

gear,

having trouble

holding onto everything, convulsively, painfully pack-saddled with greasy


pieces of uniform, boots, undefinable leather objects, dragging stuff along in

the mud, running the gauntlet, convicts exhibited for the curiosity of Sunday

we march

strollers,

be

back.

At our

quarters, dress rehearsal.

The

play promises to

a fine one.

Then,

for the first time, going for

already been survived. Delightful.

chow. The food

The

fat

had

plentiful. Breakfast

blond pig that dishes out the

coffee.

His unerring sureness. Ordered around in impossible boots, to our quarters,


to bathe

to exchange the boots, a fruitless operation.

Finally, the

deep

melancholy of the prisoner. Dull Sunday afternoon.

Monday, 3.13. Today, drill; with my own boots, it would have been a
As it was, I suffered from the melancholy caused by sore feet. As of
tonight, unfortunately, no mail from home. How do they feel without me, I

967.

pleasure.

wonder. Are they worried?


I

have never been so free of worries. Doing what you are ordered to do

at all difficult.

enough

of

The

cuisine isn't French, but

What

it.

a novelty this

it

hunger and

tastes all right

thirst

is.

is

not

and there

Downing

is

a quart of

beer without scruple!

968.

3.14.

Mail

What

at last!

this

means! Only the tone

is

too subdued.

Felix praises Sophie's talent for cooking. Lily wants to try to get
ferred back to