Gurudev, I want to be honest with my parents about my sexuality.

Yet my fear of
losing their love and support has been stopping me from being honest with them.
Do I need to be compassionate and not burden my parents? Please guide me to a so
lution.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You dont have to label yourself as gay or a lesbian. You dont need to put on a lab
el. These are tendencies which come and go.
You should label yourself as Divine light. This label is much better than puttin
g a label about your sexuality because it may change.
Many people get married and after that they discover that they have different te
ndencies. And for many gay people, sometime later, even their preferences change
. I have seen many gay people and lesbians getting married, settling in life and
having kids. I have seen the other way also. So all possibilities are open. Wha
t is the need for you to right away label yourself? There are some who are bisex
ual.
What are you going to achieve by telling your parents? Is it going to make them
any happier? When they are not going to be happy, what is the point in telling t
hem about it? You think about it.
Honesty is one thing. First you should be honest to yourself. What is your state
right now? Be honest with yourself. You dont have to pretend and be what you are
not, at the same time you dont have to put a bomb where people cannot accept it.
Tell them gradually. Prepare them.
You have to study the situation. How fragile are your parents? How unhappy are t
hey already and how much more unhappy they will become by your saying that? Is i
t worth being that honest to them and making them miserable? You need to judge a
ll these pros and cons.
Suppose your parents are forcing you to get married then you tell them, No, I h
ave no interest in this, I have a different interest . Otherwise why do you have
tell them?
Be honest at such times, otherwise you will make another person s life (who you
marry) miserable. If your mother is already very aged and is burdened with a lot
of other things and you be honest just for your pride and tell her something, a
nd she loses her nights sleep and it affects her health, what is the point. What
does it serve?
In the ancient system it has been beautifully said, Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat
na bruyat satyam apriyam , speak the truth but speak the pleasant truth. Dont sp
eak unpleasant truth and dont speak pleasant lies.
Something may be pleasant, but if it is a lie, dont speak that. Dont speak unpleas
ant truth or pleasant lies. This is the ancient path. The perfect balance.
So use your sense of discrimination and gently prepare them if you want to tell
them, and if its going to serve some purpose.
Rise above the body consciousness. Know that you are light. Youre scintillating c
onsciousness. Every cell of your body is awakened with consciousness, light, lov
e and life. Focus on that.