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General Counsel

Kris Kringle, Inc.


North Pole
Re:

Harassment/Discrimination Claims of Rudolph Reindeer

To The Elf It May Concern:


You may know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner
and Blitzen, but please be advised that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is represented by our
firm to seek redress for the years of abuse and harassment he has received at the hands of your
elves, your reindeer, and most notably, your CEO, Santa Claus. We are providing this
communication to you in an effort to avoid costly litigation that will certainly end in favor of our
client.
As evidenced by the famous names associated with Santas reindeer sleigh team, it is
commonly known that the most prestigious career available to a young reindeer is promotion
from the common reindeer pool to being an elite member of Santas sleigh team. This is a goal
that Rudolph has had since he was a fawn; and he has been working hard his entire life for this
ultimate reindeer promotion.
Unfortunately, Rudolph was born with a visible, physical abnormality that is genetic in
nature, but also a chronic and untreatable medical condition (particularly in times of heightened
stress, the condition causes a visible glow to radiate from his nose). In any event, it was as
immutable as ones race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation. Because it directly impacted his
potential to perform his job as a reindeer - even though it was actually a benefit - he was also
perceived as having a work-related disability.
As you are no doubt aware, when it came to Rudolph in the workplace, all of the other
reindeer used to laugh and call him names. Rudolph endured countless years of abusive and
harassing behavior from all of his co-workers relating to his condition, with the knowledge and
consent of management at Kris Kringle, Inc. Each of the fellow reindeer are liable to Rudolph
for their medical condition/disability harassment of him. In addition, the employer, Kris Kringle,
Inc., is liable for failure to prevent the harassment, and is strictly liable for the harassment
performed by managers of the reindeer pool.
Similarly, the reindeer never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. Rudolph was
deprived of opportunities to advance in his career and was made a virtual pariah in the workplace
- again, with the apparent knowledge and consent of management.
Then - on last years particularly foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph,
with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" Although too late to prevent the
severe psychological trauma and emotional distress, Santa, the CEO, finally acknowledged
Rudolphs value as an employee, thus tacitly admitting the wrongfulness of the prior abuse and
harassment Rudolph had endured. Unfortunately, by making the derogatory and gratuitous
comment about Rudolphs nose being so bright, the CEO only further exacerbated the
psychological trauma to Rudolph.

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I know you are aware that after that - the reindeer loved him, and routinely shouted out
with glee - "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, you'll go down in history." We will let the jury
decide the issue - but we do believe that Rudolphs case will indeed go down in history, and set a
new standard for the award of punitive damages in the area of workplace harassment. Rudolph
is an extremely sympathetic figure, who - despite the risk of further trauma to himself magnanimously agreed to help save Christmas for children all over the globe. That experience,
however, simply reminded him of his years of torment at the hands of his co-workers, and the
years of sitting on the sidelines while they played their reindeer games. Understandably,
Rudolph does not want to work on Santas sleigh anymore - around the co-workers who formerly
treated him so horribly. Rudolph will have no trouble convincing the jury of his post-traumatic
stress disorder and ongoing need for psychological treatment.
As a settlement proposal and in an effort to avoid litigation, Rudolph is willing to accept
a Quitclaim deed to the Island of Misfit Toys as full compensation for Rudolphs injuries. It will
give him the solitude he needs to focus on his recovery; and he can focus on his new career namely, real estate development of a winter sports-based resort. This offer shall remain open
until the clock strikes midnight on the last day of this year - and it should be mentioned that
Rudolph and the baby New Year are good friends, so Kris Kringle, Inc. should seriously consider
this offer, as it may not be available in the new year.
Sincerely,
Grinch
Mr. Grinch, Esq.
Law Offices of Grinch, Heat Miser & Burgermeister Meisterburger LLP
Counsel for Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

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