BARBASIL, Evelyn Daiana 19.

549 Literatura Comparada 2016

Assignment N5: C&C Essay
Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman are, undoubtedly, two of the greatest American
poets. Even though each of them had their own particular style, the genres and themes they
worked with sometimes overlapped, as in the case of Dickinsons poem J813 and Whitmans
This Dust Was Once The Man. Both poems resemble epitaphs, in structure and content.
However, Dickinsons 813 is more impersonal than Whitmans aforementioned poem. The
female poet did not write this poem for someone in particular, at least not explicitly; but
Whitman did write his poem for someone: Abraham Lincoln, reason why it is included in the
section Memories of President Lincoln in his book Leaves of Grass. In the present essay, a
close analysis of the poems as well as a revision of the translations provided will be included.
Emily Dickinsons poem 813 begins This quiet Dust was Gentlemen and Ladies,
following the structure of epitaphs, which usually begin with the word This. This is respected
in both Ocampos and Rosenbergs translations: Este plcido polvo and Este polvo
quieto respectively. Ricardo Herrera, however, did not respect the syntax of the verse, as he
chose to place the verb in initial position instead of the demonstrative pronoun: Fue este
apacible Polvo Damas y Caballeros. Still, this change does not seem to greatly affect the
resemblance of Dickinsons poem to an epitaph. The poem then continues by means of an
enumeration achieved by a polysyndeton: Was laughter and ability and Sighing / And Frocks
and Curls. This rhetorical device, which contributes to the idea that the Dust now laying on the
grave was once so many different things, is respected by both Silvina Ocampo and Ricardo
Herrera in their translations. In contrast, Rosenberg decided to eliminate one and, the one that
is in between ability and sighing, and changed it for a comma. This ellision breaks the
polysyndeton and thus the slow pace of verses three and four of poem 813.
In the second stanza of her poem, Emily Dickinson included a rather odd structure, but
which is representative of her special use of grammar: Where Bloom and Bees. Language
conventions would make the reader expect a subject and a verb after an adjunct of place such as
the one cited. However, the idea begins and ends in that construction. Being the weird and
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BARBASIL, Evelyn Daiana 19.549 Literatura Comparada 2016

seemingly incomplete structure line 6 is, it becomes difficult to translate. On the one hand,
Silvina Ocampo and Mirta Rosemberg opted for constructions that omitted the where: con
flores y abejas and con capullos, con abejas, respectively. They modified the structure to
make it more understandable and easier to match with the rest of the ideas in the stanza. Ricardo
Herrera, on the other hand, decided to include the word where, but that decision led to him
having to add more words for the construction to make sense. He added the verb zumban
which is not present in the original poem: Donde Florece y zumban las Abejas. Even though
this verb does not deeply affect the idea Dickinson was trying to express, it still constitutes a
deviation from the original poem. Another feature that it is interesting to mention is that all three
translators opted for non-literal translations of the word Exists, present in line 7. Ocampo
translated it as cumple, as well as Herrera, and Rosenberg did it as dura. The lexical tems
chosen by the translators do not directly reflect what Dickinson wrote. Cumplir and durar
are certainly different from existir, which would be the literal translation of exist. As poem
813 resembles an epitaph, and thus deals with the topics of life and death, the word exist is
too meaningful and relevant so as to be changed for non-direct alternatives in the different
translations.
Just like Emily Dickinsons, Walt Whitmans poem opens with the demonstrative
pronoun that is representative of epitaphs: This dust was once the man. The very first line of
this poem also offers a direct reference of whom the poem is about; it is not about any man that
has died and is now buried, it is about the man, one in particular. As This Dust Was Once
The Man is about Abraham Lincoln, the use of the definite article instead of the indefinite one
plays a crucial role. Probably aware of this, Francisco Alexander and Pablo Ingberg chose to
translate the article literally, into el. Armando Vasseur, however, translated the man as un
hombre. This decision affects Whitmans intention to be unambiguous about the character the
speaker was talking about. With un hombre, the first line of the poem becomes less direct and
clear. Readers could easily think the poem is not about someone in particular when reading
Este polvo fue antao un hombre. Whitmans poem then continues by means of an

BARBASIL, Evelyn Daiana 19.549 Literatura Comparada 2016

enumeration of characteristics of the man mentioned in the first line: Gentle, plain, just and
resolute. These adjectives, which are not the most common ones used to describe people,
contribute to developing the idea Whitman himself had of President Lincoln. The description
that the speaker includes is crucial because as the name of the man is not explicitly mentioned
in the poem, the adjectives used serve as a substitute for his name. As to the word gentle,
Alexanders translation could be thought as questionable. Vasseur chose the word suave and
Ingberg amable; but Alexander opted for the word dulce. This word certainly has a different
connotation than the ones chosen by the other translators. Dulce seems to be a soft word that
takes away the strength that Whitman implied Lincoln had. Similarly, the translation of the word
plain by Ingberg seems to be too literal. Llano, the word chosen by the translator, is an
adjective that does not transmit the same image as the English word plain. Vasseur (who
chose the word simple) and Alexander (who opted for sencillo) offer images that resemble
that proposed by Whitman in the original poem.
The description of the man continues with a synechdoque (in which a part stands for the
whole, in this case hand stands for Lincoln himself) followed by a hyperbolic statement:
against the foulest crime in history known in any land or age. Once again, the adjectives
Whitman uses express his viewpoint. The word foulest is quite a strong one, used to describe
the crime Lincoln defended America from. The three translators chose three different words to
translate the powerful adjective used by Whitman: Vasseur opted for abominable, Alexander
for horrendo and Ingberg for sucio. Taking into account the multiple negative- definitions
of the word foul, Vasseurs and Ingbergs choices seem more appropriate than Alexanders. In
fact, Ingberg could be considered the one that was able to find a word that had the negative
connotation of the original English word. Once again, Ingberg seems to be right with his
translation of the word land, present in the line quoted above. Vasseur and Alexander used the
word pases, but the one chosen by Ingberg (tierras) is more effective in terms of the
hyperbolic nature of the statement. Tierras gives the impression of a bigger place than
pases. This Dust Was Once The Man finishes with a construction with a verb in the passive

BARBASIL, Evelyn Daiana 19.549 Literatura Comparada 2016

voice: was saved the Union of these States. Armando Vasseur and Francisco Alexander
offered literal translations of the verb phrase as se salv. Ingberg, on the contrary, decided to
change the tense. He translated the verb phrase as se ha salvado, which in English would be
has been saved. This change of tense seems rather odd, because the translated version offers
some hints of continuity that are certainly not included in the original version.
Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman may have worked with the same text type, but they
certainly did so in different ways. From the personal/impersonal distinction up to the word
choices, the poems analyzed are quite dissimilar. The translators, each in their unique way, and
making definitely difficult choices, tried to offer Spanish versions that honored the original
poems written by two of the greatest American poets.