The Power Of One

DEDICATION
I want to thank my children Tana, Richard, and Evelynn for loving me through the
eyes of God and letting me see that love every day. Anthony for proving to me t
hat I could succeed at something. My friends Beverly and Wanda for loving and su
pporting an aspect of myself that I had trouble supporting. Elayne for being a g
reat psychic and for being a clear mirror through which I could always see mysel
f. Maria for giving me a love that anchored me through tough times. Georgia for
reminding me how healing the love of a child could be. Ony, for directing me and
pushing me back to my source. I want to thank Gary for believing in and support
ing my work so completely and contributing his own creativity. Paul and Scott fo
r helping me see through the veils to the other side. Michael Lutin and Robert Bu
z Meyers, for reading my astrological chart from a soul level and convincing me t
hat I would not be given a mission that I could not fulfill. My family for provi
ding me with all of the tools that I could ever need to do this work. Harold for
being an anchor of light at The Seeker of the Light and James for asking me to
write a book. And to Fernando for shining the light in my life each time that I
retreated into the darkness. Above are the people who directly helped bring this
book to life. I also want to give thanks to everyone who has touched my life an
d let me learn from theirs. And a very special thanks my daughter Cati, who was
with us only a moment, but changed the course of our lives.
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~ Contents ~
DEDICATION............................................................ 2 THE BEG
INNING ..................................................... 6 CHAPTER 1........
............................................................... 8 THE POWER OF O
NE CHAPTER 2....................................................................
. 10 PSALM 23 CHAPTER 3.........................................................
............ 11 OPENING TO RECEIVE HEALING CHAPTER 4............................
......................................... 13 EMBRACING THE POSSIBILITIES CHAPTER
5 ..................................................................... 15 WORR
YING CHAPTER 6..................................................................
... 17 OVERCOMING FEAR CHAPTER 7................................................
..................... 19 ACKNOWLEDGING THE PARTNERSHIP IN OUR LIVES CHAPTER 8...
.................................................................. 21 CHANGING O
UR BELIEFS CHAPTER 9............................................................
......... 23 GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION CHAPTER 10..............................
..................................... 24 OUR NEED TO FEEL SAFE CHAPTER 11.......
............................................................ 26 INTEGRATING THE
EGO CHAPTER 12..................................................................
. 29 THE IMPORTANCE OF PERCEPTION
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CHAPTER 13................................................................... 31
ACTION INSTEAD OF REACTION CHAPTER 14..........................................
......................... 32 IDENTIFICATION CHAPTER 15..........................
......................................... 35 HAVING ENOUGH CHAPTER 16...........
........................................................ 36 BECOMING COMFORTABLE
WITH CHANGE CHAPTER 17.........................................................
.......... 38 RELEASING OUR BAGGAGE CHAPTER 18..................................
................................. 40 KNOWING OUR CHOICES CHAPTER 19.............
...................................................... 42 LEARNING TO LET GO CHA
PTER 20................................................................... 44 FR
EEING OURSELVES FROM OUR SHELLS CHAPTER 21......................................
............................. 45 SUCCESS & FAILURE CHAPTER 22...................
................................................ 47 OUR HAVES CHAPTER 23........
........................................................... 50 MAKING PEACE WITH
OURSELVES CHAPTER 24...........................................................
........ 53 OUR BODIES CHAPTER 25...............................................
.................... 55 ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR LIVES CHAPTER 26.......
............................................................ 58 THE IMPORTANCE O
F COMMITMENT CHAPTER 27.........................................................
.......... 60 NARROWING OUR FOCUS CHAPTER 28....................................
............................... 62
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AVOIDING LIFE CHAPTER 29........................................................
........... 65 LOVING FULLY CHAPTER 30..........................................
......................... 66 RELATIONSHIPS CHAPTER 31...........................
........................................ 69 MEN AND WOMEN CHAPTER 32............
....................................................... 73 OUR FAMILIES CHAPTER
33................................................................... 75 HUMILIT
Y CHAPTER 34...................................................................
76 KARMA, LESSONS, MISSIONS AND TESTS CHAPTER 35................................
................................... 79 JUDGMENT CHAPTER 36......................
............................................. 81 LIVING WITH INTEGRITY CHAPTER 3
7................................................................... 83 ONENESS
CHAPTER 38................................................................... 86
PUTTING OUR EXPERIENCES INTO PERSPECTIVE CHAPTER 39............................
....................................... 89 THE SOUL'S JOURNEY CHAPTER 40........
........................................................... 92 ATTRACTION CHAPTE
R 41................................................................... 96 DEATH
AS CHANGE CHAPTER 42...........................................................
........ 98 MASTERS AMONG US CHAPTER 43.........................................
.......................... 99 A PARABLE CHAPTER 44..............................
................................... 100 A FINAL MESSAGE ASTROLOGY, NUMEROLOGY, A
ND MY JOURNEY...237
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Next Page
Next&nbspPage
THE BEGINNING
I have found that we need to know that it is OK to be where we are before we can
accept moving on. We need validation of the way in which we have lived our live
s up to the point of change. What is new, whether it is good or bad, seems like
an attack against our identity since that identity is built on our living up unt
il now. When we feel attacked we automatically put up our defenses. The reason i
s that our identities are totally vested in what we have and what we have done u
p to this point. Therefore, to change is to invalidate who we are. Most books te
ll us how to live happy and productive lives. The problem is that, subconsciousl
y, the message that we receive is that there is something wring in how we have l
ived. If what we have done, or how we have lived our lives has been wrong, then
it seems reasonable to assume that we are wrong. The more logical the new way se
ems, the more foolish we feel for not having done it that way ourselves original
ly. Sadly, it is human nature to prefer being right to being happy. So we stand
at the edge faced with the answers that we know are right. Instead of feeling be
tter because at last we have found the way, we feel more lost than before. To ma
ke the change means to lose our identity, to leave ourselves behind. This book i
s written for those people who are standing at the edge, desperately wanting to
change their lives and improve their living, but not wanting in the process to f
eel that they must to invalidate themselves to do so. There are no new answers i
n my book. It is written for people, like me, who need to understand that what w
e have done ,and how we have lived, has been completely appropriate for the less
ons that we needed to learn on our journey. The changes to be made by those peop
le who are guided to read this book are simply the next step on their journey. T
his is not a blind leap over a canyon to be made from who we were to who we will
be. We do not have to invalidate or leave ourselves behind in order to make it.
This is hopefully a bridge built stone by stone that makes crossing the canyon
simply part of our original journey.
This book began 20 years ago. For some reason my mind frequently wandered, it wa
s as though I were tuning into some radio station while a program was already in
progress giving information on the state of mankind. This was at first unnervin
g. It took all of my concentration to stay focused on living my life
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The Power Of One

because a voice was invading my thoughts. This voice spoke about things that see
med to have no relevance to my life personally. I began to find that when I woul
d write down the things that were being said, they would eventually stop. This w
as my first journal. It has been lost. The fact that it was lost does not matter
because at no time did I think that I might be writing a book. I was told later
by a very gifted British Mystic named David Cousins that this was the first tim
e that God knocked on my door. I was busy. A few years later, I began to study A
strology and Numerology. These tools taught me that there is a plan, that God di
d not drop us here without a map. These gifts that came into my life taught me t
hat life is cyclic. They showed me not as much my destination, as the fact the j
ourney was planned. My life had been very difficult for me up to that point, and
I felt very victimized. These gifts gave me power. They showed me that I did no
t just happen to constantly end up at the wrong place at the wrong time. Althoug
h God may have knocked at my door many times, I know that He guided me through m
y life to collect the tools and the experiences that I needed to bring this book
out. Og Mandino in his book The Greatest Miracle in the World calls many books H
and of God Books. I know that this is one of them. I have put these words on pape
r as I have heard them in my head. I have merely been taking dictation. They hav
e taught me a great deal. These words are not mine. I am merely sharing a lesson
that I was ready to receive and asked to pass on. Before we come to the earth p
lane, we make agreements with other souls to work together on our lessons. I hav
e made an agreement to transfer this information to a certain number of people.
Those are, I am sure, the people who will be drawn to buy this book. It has been
written for them. So, I know that the words contained herein will make a differ
ence. So guys, here is your message and my debt is paid. The most important thin
g to get from all of this is that we can never find where we should be by seeing
where someone else is. And we dont have to tell ourselves that we are great just
because we need to feel good, we have to tell ourselves that we are great just
because we are.
I am comfortable with the word God, although the meaning of it has changed since
it first became a part of my vocabulary. Trying to decide what word to use that
would satisfy anyone reading this was very difficult. I decided to remain with
the word that was comfortable for me and to explain what it means to me. When I
use the word God, I am referring to the Creator, the act of creating, and the Cr
eation. I am referring to all that exists known and unknown to us. I am not refe
rring to a man or a woman sitting somewhere in the sky.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 1
THE POWER OF ONE
When we move from within, we are centered and one with our journey and our desti
nation, this creates a power that can move any mountain.
When I was a child, I was impressed with the way people responded to my father.
I was aware of the fact that people treated him, as though he were somehow speci
al. When he entered a room the atmosphere seemed to change and those in the room
would gravitate to where ever he was. When he spoke, people listened. They want
ed to gain his attention, his approval. Through all of this adulation, he seemed
to be completely unaffected. He was my father, and although I enjoyed the way t
hat I was treated because he was my father; I could not for the life of me see w
hat it was about him that made people treat him the way that they did. I was als
o confused by the way that he saw life. He did not seem to have any fear. One ti
me he was in a room when someone pulled out a gun. Everyone in the room hit the
floor to keep from getting shot everyone except my father. When I asked him how
he could do something so crazy, he told me that if one does not show fear when a
ttacked, it scares the attacker. I dont know if this is true or not, but the fact
that he took the time to think about this while his life was in danger really c
aught my attention. He was a dark skinned Cuban. During the time when anyone wit
h dark skin would have to enter a place by a different door than Whites, my fath
er would enter by the same door as the Whites and instead of stopping him; peopl
e would pretend that they did not see him. I grew up watching the world adjust t
o him instead of him adjusting to the world. My mother was a Hungarian Jew with
blond hair and green eyes. One day in the mid-nineteen fifties, my parents were
driving somewhere in the South and a Policeman pulled them over. My father knew
that they were pulled over because he was dark skinned and she was white, so he
looked the officer straight in the eye and told him that my mother was black. Th
e officer let them go. He just did not seem to be subject to the same rules that
other people were. I could not understand why the river seemed to flow in a dif
ferent direction for him, I never noticed him asking it to. When my father died,
the minister said This was a man who was loved and hated, but whether you loved
him or you hated him, you always called him Mr. Gibel. The minister had never eve
n met my father, but he knew of him. There were not many things that he was pass
ionate about in the way that he raised me, but the two things that I could not d
o were wish to be anyone or anything other than myself, and wish to have anythin
g that anyone else had. Those were the only two instances I can remember my fath
er slapping my face. My father believed in God and himself. He knew who he was h
e was a man. I heard him say it many times. My father was completely self-center
ed. He sought no outside approval and accepted no outside criticism. He set his
own rules and he lived by them. He listened to the voice from within and no othe
r. I cannot say that he had self-confidence in the way that we think of it. Conf
idence was not an issue. He was secure in the belief that we create our own worl
d whether we do a good job of it or a bad job of it is another issue. He did not
look at himself in the mirror and say I love you, it was more like as long as I
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The Power Of One

live I will only have one pair of shoes, so Id do better loving them than hating
them. He believed that if God gave him this body and this life, then there couldnt
possibly be anyone here who can stop him. When I was in my late twenties, as my
father was leaving his body, God brought into my life another man who exemplifi
ed this same power. This man was to bring me along with him on his journey and t
each me first hand, that one can begin to swim against the tides, and out of she
ar determination turn the tides in ones own favor. This mans name was Anthony and
he faced life in the same manor as my father. He honored each person that enter
ed his life by offering them the same power that he himself had. He never held a
nyone back. He gave the ball to anyone who wanted and let them run with it, even
if they ran ahead of him, because he had an understanding that in the end we al
l arrive together. He was as proud of someone elses success as he was of his own,
as though it was his own. He forced me to become a success because he believed
in me. He succeeded where everyone was sure he would fail. He did not seek to ov
ercome obstacles; he just did not acknowledge them. By traveling with him I bega
n to see that my father did not live an exceptional life, he lived one that was
real. I too finally learned to live life in the same way. This is the power of o
ne. The belief that what God created only God can affect. The knowing deep withi
n that God creates us in His image and for that reason we are fully capable of r
ealizing any dream, doing any thing that we choose. It is only the One who creat
ed us that can judge for better or worse our lives and our living. It was this c
enteredness, this total trust this certainty that people responded to. Most peop
le are not sure, they are not sure about anything. Most people will follow anyon
e who seems to know where he or she is going. Of course, I did not know my fathe
r when he was young. I believe that he had a very difficult childhood. I feel ce
rtain that this acceptance was hard won. From what he told me of his life, I bel
ieve he came to this point simply because there was nowhere else to turn. Being
a survivor, the only way to survive is ultimately making the only one that you h
ave your strongest ally. My fathers life taught me that things were not the way t
hey seemed, there was something wrong with this picture. He would not allow me t
o be a victim because he showed me that no one can victimize us unless we give h
im or her that right. He showed me that nothing stops us that we do not buy into
. He showed me the power of one through his living. When we create our lives fro
m within, instead of simply trying to fit into the world that is without, we hav
e all of the power that we need to succeed in anything that we attempt.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 1
PSALM 23
The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want, He maketh me to lie down in green past
ures, He leadeth me beside the still waters, He restoreth my soul, He leadeth me
in the paths of righteousness for his names sake. Yea though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me, Thy r
od and Thy staff shall comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the prese
nce of my enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely
goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in
the house of the Lord forever. When we are children we are a blank slate. So ma
ny things that are seen and heard stay with us as long as we live because we hav
e no filters. We accept as fact all that comes in. Sometimes we may not even rem
ember what these things are; yet in some way they determine our direction and fo
rm the basis for our fears or our sense of safety. I do not remember the first t
ime that I heard Psalm 23, nor do I remember the context in which it was read to
me. What I remember was that from that moment on, this indescribable feeling of
security and love that I had inside of me during times of suffering and loss fi
nally made sense. The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. I realized that with
the Lord as my Shepherd I would always be safe, and I would never want. Each mo
ment through the rest of my journey through the valley of the shadow of death, I
knew that I would never hit bottom. I knew that I would always be saved. My lif
e has read line by line Psalm 23. So many people laughed at me, at my seeming so
out there, at my seeming so stupid. There were so many people who felt that I c
ould never succeed in the material world that I believed it. My mother basically
told me when I wanted to go to college that the best I could hope for was for s
ome man to come along and support me. This was not Gods plan, and the day came wh
en I advanced in the material world to a height that I could not have ever dream
ed of. I rose before the eyes of all of the people who laughed at me or tried to
sabotage my efforts, and destroy my faith in myself. I looked around at all tha
t I had accomplished and realized that my Lord had prepared a table before me in
the presence of my enemies. Before them He anointed my head with oil, truly my
cup had run over. Somewhere through each low in my life I can find solace with G
ods rod and staff, and during the good times I can feel grateful once again for t
he table that He prepares before me. When I feel drained, I know that He will re
store my soul. When I am lost or inundated with too much noise, He makes me lie
down in green pastures and leads me within to the Still waters that are His love
. I know that as long as I follow Him in the paths of righteousness, goodness an
d mercy will follow me all the days of my life. If I could sum up my entire life
, it would be Psalm 23. We are all walking through the valley of the shadow of d
eath, but it is just that, a shadow. There is no such thing as death; there is o
nly fear. When we shine the light of God upon our fears they vanish. We are neve
r alone, we are always protected always guided by friends and loved ones that we
can see and those we cannot. Most of all, the Lord is our Shepherd.
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Chapter 3
OPENING TO RECEIVE HEALING
It is necessary for us as human beings to understand that the fact that our futu
re happiness requires that we make changes does not mean that until this point w
e were doing things wrong.
With the sheer volume of self-help books that are coming out on a daily basis th
ere is no doubt that we have a hunger for healing ourselves. In my bookstore the
re were no less than 5,000 titles that contained some form of self-help message.
Why is it that we seem to only become hungrier as we are flooded with answers i
nstead of becoming finally satisfied? I believe the answer is that we are consum
ing these books, tapes and workshops like kernels of corn; they are going in and
coming out in their original form without the nutrition contained being extract
ed. As we are being given more and more answers as to how to heal, we are only r
eceiving the understanding that we need more and more healing. There is somethin
g that lies between our ability to understand that there is a way and our abilit
y to receive the way which is not working. What could be the problem? We have th
e hunger, we recognize it, and we have the food and we recognize that too. Yet a
ll that we are left with, no matter how hard we try, is the hunger the food and
no way to eat it. This is what I want to reach. I want to work through the block
that stands between our hunger and our satisfaction. We dont need answers to our
problems we need drano to help us receive the answers. What does this block con
sist of? It consists of everything that we have done and everything that we have
been taught throughout our entire lives. This block contains all of the shoulds
and coulds and cants that we have built our lives upon. It seems that each time
that we are faced with something that makes us realize that there is a way to fi
nd what it is that we are seeking, we are faced with the realization that the wa
y we were seeking it was wrong. This is of course is not to say that it was wron
g. The fact is that it was the right way for us at the time. And if we have reac
hed an answer it is because of the way that we have taken not in spite of it. Ea
ch road that we take is a road that leads us to where we need to go. What impede
s us is that our ego, our feeling of security is totally connected with our havi
ng been right, even if it hurt. There is the saying Better the hell you know than
the hell you dont, the truth is that the hell you know is better than anything th
at you dont know. This block that prevents us from being able to receive a new wa
y is instinctual. It functions in black or white, right or wrong. We need to tel
l it that it is not a question of right or wrong it is a question of right and r
ight, right then and right now. That way was so right that it lead to this way.
Life will no longer give us any form of security if we try to live it based upon
the tried and true. If we continue to approach our lives as we have in the past
that way will only provide us with the same results as it had in the past. Life
is being reborn each day and with it so must we. Each day there is a new set of
questions that yesterdays answers do not fit. That does not mean that yesterdays
answers were wrong, they were right yesterday. The problem that we are faced wi
th is not that we did anything wrong, it is that we are constantly trying to mak
e what worked before work now. If the door that we want to enter was two steps i
n front of us, and we took two steps, we would reach the door. However, if the d
oor now is three
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The Power Of One

steps in front of us and we continue to take two steps we will never reach the d
oor. We are not allowing for the fact that now is not before. We do not need to
question ourselves and find fault with our methods of dealing with life; we mere
ly need to be open to new methods appropriate to new lives. It is vital that we
now open ourselves to the world as it is, changing and improving with each day.
There are new situations and each of us can face them and find all that we are s
eeking simply by recognizing that we become new each day. We can satisfy our hun
ger by being open to the food that we are given. We need to receive answers with
out judging ourselves for not seeing them before. We did not see them before bec
ause they were not appropriate before. We see what we need to see exactly when w
e need to see it. It is our judgment of ourselves and our actions in the past th
at prevents us from fully accepting and growing with the present. Anything new r
equires us to change something that we did or thought or felt before. That chang
e does not mean that before we were wrong, it just means that before was before.
There is no reason to apply what we learn today to yesterday. What we need to d
o is to apply what we learn to today. We can heal by living. Living requires bei
ng open and able to receive what is here today. The Universe guides us to a book
, or to a teacher who has what we need today, this is no criticism of how we han
dled yesterday or of what we were taught yesterday. What is new in no way denies
the validity of what was old. What we do can in no way reflects on what we did,
each thing is appropriate to its time, each action was appropriate under to the
circumstances. Our lives, when well examined, show us the perfection of our liv
ing. If you are reading this book, or any book that you have been directed to, i
t is because there is something in it that is just perfect for where you are now
. If the information rings a bell, if it feels right, that is because it is the
key to the door you need to open now. It would have never fit before. Each soul
has a journey that is perfect for it, and we each walk it perfectly. Life has ch
anged. Life is constantly changing. We need to be constantly open to those chang
es. With each new day, our bodies are changing and growing, evolving. So is it t
hat we need to change and grow spiritually and emotionally as well. This is the
process of living. Life is not chaos life is growth. In order to heal ourselves
and live in the happiness that we all are seeking we need to accept that we have
lived our lives well up to this point. We each have battle scars; they are sign
s of our having lived. They are not meant to show us where we have failed but wh
ere we have succeeded because we went on. To heal is to live, to live is to move
forward and use what we have in each moment. Be open to todays lesson; be ready
for todays gift. Yesterday is complete and perfect unto itself. There are no chan
ges that are needed to be made. The cure for the hunger is to be open today. Let
yesterdays food pass through us with each yesterday so that there is room enough
for todays. Let us not compare today with yesterday and not compare ourselves to
day with who we were yesterday. They are different. There is no point in being h
ere if we cannot be open to what it has to offer. Become born again each day. We
are to be born anew with each new sunrise. We should be as children each time t
hat you open your eyes and remember that wonder we once felt. Pain is always a p
art of the past, because each moment is gone as soon as we notice that it is her
e. Let go and face this day, as if it were your first. In this way you will find
healing, even more than that, you will find joy.
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The Power Of One

As your soul travels its own journey, it will be wonderful, that does not mean o
nly happy, it means full of wonder. You will be open to hear the messages that c
ome to you from the Universe and the help that you will receive from your guides
and the Universe itself.
Chapter 4
EMBRACING
THE POSSIBILITIES
It is what is possible that turns a journey into an adventure.
In astrology there are many possibilities for each combination of planets. For e
xample the planet Saturn next to the moon can mean fear of emotional attachment,
keeping feelings repressed, or it could mean building a strong secure emotional
foundation and the capability of deep responsible attachments. It could be any
one of the possibilities, any combination, or it could be all of them. All of th
e possibilities are accurate. In our lives we have many possibilities and the on
es that we choose to live, or the ones that we feel that we are stuck living are
among those possibilities. The point is not to believe that our lives are wrong
or that we are lost and it is over, it is to believe that our lives are open to
as many possibilities as we have dreams. We may be at a point where we have sto
pped for a while but we are never at the end. Nothing in life happens that is no
t promised within our birth chart according to Astrology. Our lives are the fulf
illment of our astrology charts; or our charts are the image of our journey in s
ymbols. We should take this even further to understand that when we come into ea
ch incarnation we come with vehicle. We do not just come into the physical body,
but we have the emotional body, the mental body, and the etheric body as well.
Each one of these bodies is equipped with all of our possibilities all of our pr
omises and all of the tools that we each need for our journey. The beautiful thi
ng about understanding the astrological chart is that in knowing our chart we le
arn our possibilities, possibilities that we may not even have known that we had
. It is a fact that we only use 10% of our brain, well we also do not utilize al
l that we have available within our charts. This does not mean that we cannot. I
t just means that at this time we have not. When we are born, we are born into a
family with its beliefs and its accepted boundaries. As we grow from birth with
in this family structure, as we seek to fit into our place within this structure
we utilize those aspects of ourselves that fit into the structure and those asp
ects which do not fit, we put away out of sight, even from ourselves. Those aspe
cts are our personal possibilities, however within our original family structure
they cannot always unfold. To allow those parts of us to unfold, and be seen wo
uld not permit us to fit within our family structure. Those aspects of ourselves
of our path that we hide away surface as
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The Power Of One

dreams, wishes, longings and even doubts. They become camouflaged in this way be
cause although we cannot utilize them at that time, they are still as much a par
t of us as is an arm or a leg. They surface to remind us that they are ours that
they belong to us and can be fulfilled by us. The struggle that we have as we g
row is to incorporate as many of our possibilities within our lives as we can. I
t is possible that tomorrow we will lose everything that we own. It is also poss
ible that the day after that we will win the lottery. We never run out of possib
ilities. No matter how bad or good things are the possibilities are constantly f
lowing. It is important to remember that no matter how things ahead of us look,
ahead is all that we can see, but it is not all that is there. The possibilities
often lie not in front of us but just around the corner where we cannot see. To
morrow may be just another day, or tomorrow may be the day that changes our enti
re lives. We cannot see all of the possibilities that are around us. Yet they ar
e the things that life is made up of. Each of our lives is built on possibilitie
s. The possibilities consist of those things that we did and did not see. Nothin
g is ever, as it seems. Each moment is as full of what we can see as it is of wh
at we cannot. Life is full of possibilities. When we are happy with things in ou
r lives we do not look for our possibilities, and when we are unhappy we do not
see them. Yet whether or not we see them, the possibilities are all around us. T
hey are the things that guide our lives. No matter how carefully we plan the fut
ure, each possibility is what builds it. The journey of man from cave dweller to
space traveler is a journey built on possibilities. That is the adventure. It i
s the possibility that makes life exciting. In the blink of an eye, with the tur
n of a corner our lives can change completely. It is not what we expect but what
we do not expect that puts the life into living. I walked into a temporary agen
cy looking for some work for a week or two and my entire life changed. Walking i
nto that door brought me to a road that took me from rags to riches. This is how
our possibilities work. Sometimes everything just seems lost, and sometimes we
just get tired of looking. Perhaps we just need to rest; perhaps we need to clea
r our eyes so that we may see what is coming. Whether it is a talent we didnt kno
w that we had, or an opportunity that we never though we could have had; anythin
g is possible at any time.
This means that no matter how bad things are we should never give up and no matt
er how good things are we should never get too comfortable. All that we can do i
s enjoy the ride.
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The Power Of One

CHAPTER 5
WORRYING
It is not as though since we hit the ground so many times in our minds that when
it actually happens it doesnt hurt. It only hurts again
When we worry we focus our attention on experiencing the worst that can happen o
ver and over again. All of this rehearsal time spent experiencing the bad things
does not in any way diminish the effect that these things have on us when and i
f they finally happen. The most outstanding thing about this is that as often as
not the bad things, the things we spend all of our time worrying about just nev
er happen. I have a friend who every time he meets someone new, and sets up a da
te with that person, he starts playing the whole thing out. He builds each small
piece of information that he may have about the person into a long story and co
mpares it with his story and puts the two together and either it takes the entir
e relationship to the point where one of them has to end it. This is done before
he even spends 10 minutes with the other person. Sometimes the date is canceled
. Sometimes everything goes great, but never, does his scenario play out. If the
date is a week away from the time that they meet, this is a week that my friend
goes through the most torturous hell imaginable. The fact that he suffered for
a week is the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that he leads the r
elationship through all of his preconceived disasters. When we worry, we accompl
ish nothing. Worrying does not have any effect what so ever upon the outcome of
a situation, nor does it effect our ability to handle the outcome. It is not as
though we having hit the ground so many times in our minds that when we finally
do it wont hurt. It only hurts again. Once the ball leaves our hands anything can
happen. Careful aim can narrow the margin of error, but the fact remains that a
nything can happen. When we feel ourselves entering into a state of worry, we mu
st ask ourselves what we can do to make a difference or help guarantee the outco
me that we want. If there is something that we can do, we should do it. If there
is nothing that we can do, let it go and move on. What will be will be. And wha
t will be is what is meant to be. Our part is throwing the ball and Gods part is
hitting the right mark. Every time that we set a goal it is not necessarily to
reach an end, it is to reach the next point in our journey. Even if we get to th
e exact point that we planned, there is no guarantee that it will be in any way
where we want to stay. The fact is that everything always works out for everyone
in the end, if it didn t we wouldn t be able to move on. Sometimes everything f
alls apart at the same time, what a wonderful thing to be able to work them all
out at the same time and get it over with. It is time to start eliminating from
our lives some of the things that we do to ourselves. There are seasons in our l
ives there is a time to build and a time to break down. Things are moving so fas
t that we really need to remove all of the distractions that we possibly can. It
is time to be in a permanent state of awareness. It is as though God is throwin
g the ball to us and saying, Heads up twenty-four hours a day. We are sent enough
curve balls from life not to have to imagine them. This is an important time in
our history. Lets live it as it is and really try to be where we are. There is re
ally no time to worry. And if we do not worry, we wont have anything to worry abo
ut. Let us stop doing things to ourselves and start doing things for ourselves.
Let us begin to live our lives as they are not as they could or should be. For e
very moment that we spend thinking about how
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something should be, we just missed living it as it is. If we do not worry, we d
o not have room for fear to grow. If we do not fear we do not have food for worr
y.
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Chapter 6
OVERCOMING FEAR
The bravest people in the world are not fearless; they simply use that fear to m
otivate them instead of paralyzing them
When we can understand fear we will find it much easier to deal with. Fear is di
fferent that worry because worry is not connected with anything actual, it is mu
ch more connected with possibilities. Fear is connected with a definite reality.
Fear is connected with something that once happened to us, some pain that impri
nted upon our conscious mind while the exact cause of that pain fell into the su
bconscious. We definitely know what it feels like to be burned but we do not rem
ember whether it was fire, a stove, a cigarette lighter, or exactly what it was
that burned us. So anything that looks or gives the impression of hot will cause
us to have fear. My first husband was an amazing musician. Yet somehow he just
came close to success but every time that a real opportunity presented itself he
would sabotage himself. The problem was that his father was also a musician but
he never made it and somehow he gave my first husband the belief that to really
try would destroy ones life. Although my ex-husband would never have put the tw
o together, and consciously he could not remember being told that, what was alwa
ys fresh was the feeling that he felt watching his father live an unhappy life.
The problem with fear is that knowing the cause, even remembering the initial in
cident does not erase the fear. Again, fear is not logical and it is not subject
to reason, fear is based upon something that was proven to be a fact and can be
removed only by proving it to be wrong. I read somewhere that courage is being
without fear, it is acting in spite of it. Fear is self-perpetuating. Fear multi
plies. Because it is not based upon the present reality, it has the most fertile
ground in which to grow. Once we are afraid, that energy grows. The problem tha
t makes fear so much more powerful is that it is actually a tremendous feeling t
hat has absolutely no words. When dealing with worries we can sit and rationaliz
e because they are things that go through our heads. Yet when we are struck by f
ear it is really this huge dangerous nothing. It is a nothing because we dont rem
ember what it is. When we dont know exactly what it is or even what it could be t
here is no way to check its growth. We must learn that fear has a moment in whic
h it immediately propels us back to a feeling that we had when we were in a situ
ation that reminds our subconscious of this one. It shows us how we felt, but it
cannot show us why. It just tells us that something feels dangerous. Sometimes
it just finishes the sentence for us, we dont even feel the anxiety of it but we
react to the situation as though we know how it will turn out. In this way we sa
botage our efforts and begin to destroy a successful situation because our fear
writes the script of the future. We have to remember that the subconscious mind
is like a computer, garbage in garbage out. It tells us that it feels like somet
hing familiar. We re-feel a past event that had a painful consequence. This is t
he value of fear. But from this moment on it us up to us to examine the situatio
n. It is important that the moment that fear advises us that something feels fam
iliar, it must be checked. Fear is not based on whatever present experience is t
riggering it; it is based upon something that it seems to resemble. Just because
it smells like smoke does not mean the building is burning it could just be a s
tick of incense. However fear will go there if it is free to travel at will. Tak
e from fear its only gift. Allow
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The Power Of One

fear to awaken us, allow fear to awaken our senses, but not our imagination. Lis
ten to what it knows but never let it think. Fear is always attached to the past
; its eyes are in the back. The only way to deal with fear is to override it. Wh
en we feel fear, be in the current situation. Fear is there to tell us to wake u
p to the situation. So each time we feel fear we must see clearly and if the sit
uation that we see is really not related to what we are feeling, we must walk th
rough the fear. Each time that we do this, the fear will diminish. Fear is part
of our survival instinct. Instincts do not discriminate. When we are about to be
eaten by a tiger there is no time to think. Fear is primitive. It always feels
as though we are about to be eaten. We may be on top of the food chain, but we a
re still on it. Fear is necessary, but so is our ability to use our minds and ov
ercome it.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 7
ACKNOWLEDGING THE PARTNERSHIP IN OUR LIVES
We are the actors in our roles here on this planet, we create and develop the ch
aracters that we portray, but we do not write the play. We chose the role becaus
e it aligns with our purpose and must have faith in that choice and in the One w
ho wrote the play.
I was driving in one lane on the highway and I noticed how the cars in front of
me swerved around each other and changed lanes. It dawned on me that riding here
in my lane was like trying to implement a plan. When we plan we take a starting
point and try to map out a route to reach our goal or destination. And as it is
with driving on the highway, as soon as we begin to implement our plan, things
outside of our control begin to happen. A car may stop short in front of us, or
there may be an accident up ahead and we will have to detour. There are so many
things that can happen and do happen from the time that we begin to the end. The
re is no way to plan for all of the possibilities that could occur, simply becau
se with each moment and each new move there are born an unlimited number of poss
ibilities. What we have to realize is that in every moment of our lives in every
effort that we make we have a partner. Now we can call it God, Spirit, the Univ
erse, Fate or even just life, the name does not matter. Whatever name feels righ
t, there is something larger than we are that is involved with and that influenc
es everything we do and are. It is in every breath that we take every raindrop,
every wind that blows, and it guides every person who crosses our path. We do no
thing alone; we accomplish nothing alone we alone control nothing outside of our
own actions. This is neither good nor bad, it just is. If we examine our lives
we will find that circumstance helped and hurt our intentions on a basically equ
al basis. Allowing for this partnership takes a great deal of pressure off of th
e need to control the outcome. Really accepting this can be a step in finding th
e peace that we all crave. In many cases our partner has the same agenda as we d
o, but often it is different. Now I believe that our partner has a much better i
dea of what is right for us than we do, but it is not necessary to believe this.
What is necessary is to simply believe that at best we are equal partners in ou
r lives. How close we are to equal depends upon how much control we exert over o
ur own actions. When we do the best that we can, when we are true to ourselves,
we are at least equal. The fact that we are not in sole control of our lives doe
s not mean that we should not make plans or we should not have goals. It simply
means that we need to be flexible, put our plans in pencil not in ink. The plan
or goal is a solid beginning, a direction. It gets us started and once we start
we will get to wherever we are meant to go. Very often when we make plans or set
goal and they do not work out we feel that we are less as human beings, or that
we are failures. This is because we feel that we are in control, therefore any
change is somehow our fault. These changes do not even have to come from outside
of ourselves. We may just get to where we thought we wanted to be and find that
what we were really looking for is not there. This does not mean that we made a
mistake, or that we failed it just means we still have a bit further to go.
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The Power Of One

Our end of the partnership is remaining true to ourselves. We need to be in touc
h with what we want and need and to be willing to accept that even what we want
may be adjusted. Many things that I could not live without yesterday, I could no
t live with today. I was not wrong then and I am not wrong now, it is just about
growing. We learn each moment and receive new information upon which we can the
n base new choices. We need to find our truth and commit to it. It is our truth
that the Universe is committed to. When we do this we find that the work of our
partner is more often than not, in line with our true goals. We are builders, br
ick by brick, experience by experience, we build our lives. As time goes by mate
rials change and improve the atmosphere changes and so the design must be altere
d and sometimes we even have to take down a few levels in order to rebuild them
in a sturdier fashion. This is all as it should be. The point in the end is not
a matter of just finishing by a certain time; the point is in erecting the best
possible building that we can. When each of us enters the world we enter with a
foundation. That is what we must remain true to. What we build will change and e
volve with time, but it will always remain perfect so long as it is true to its
foundation. Our partner gave us this foundation. And when our partner intervenes
it is only to keep us true to that foundation.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 8
CHANGING OUR BELIEFS
There is no point in finding happiness unless we believe we can be happy. We may
find many things, but we only keep what we believe to be ours by rights.
It is a great first step to desire to change and improve our lives. This is howe
ver only a small step. There is no way to change our lives unless we change our
beliefs. Beliefs are like magnetic filters that attract certain experiences and
opportunities and filter out others. Beliefs are what we see our lives through.
If I do not believe that something could be in front of me, I would never see it
if it were. In astrology the sign of Taurus rules our beliefs. This is fixed ea
rth. This is not an area that is easily changed. Yet unless we are able to be fl
exible there, we cannot truly grow. What we believe is so strong that it even pr
events us from being able to truly hear things that are not in accordance with i
t. We are so firmly planted in our belief systems that to change them is equal t
o literally pulling the rug out from under us. The space between having a set of
beliefs and reaching for another is like standing on a step and extending our f
oot where there is no next step. That space between fully believing one thing an
d believing something else is scarier than stepping off of a cliff, because if I
believe that I will not fall, I will take that step whether there is ground bel
ow me or not. We walk on; we rely on what we believe. A brick wall has less subs
tance than a firm belief. Even faith is a belief. Since our lives are built upon
our beliefs, it would be impossible to change our lives without changing our be
liefs. So how do we do that? We have to understand that our beliefs have become
so firm because we have proved them throughout our lives. The catch is that we n
eed to realize that our beliefs will always prove themselves. When we change our
beliefs we are entering a strange new country, but soon, that country will beco
me familiar. Even more than that it is important to realize that we can always g
o back to what we once believed. If our lives are not working the way that we wa
nt them to work, there is something in our beliefs about our living, not in our
lives, that is not working. The problem is not that I keep going to the wrong pl
ace, but that regardless of the outcome, I believe that it is the right place. W
e cannot act in a way that is contrary to what we believe for very long. We are
not committed unless it is to something that we believe. We may change our behav
ior, but if we are going left and still believe that we should go right we would
never see the value in the change that we made. The way to change our beliefs i
s to first realize that whatever it was that we believed, was completely appropr
iate to our lives at the time that we developed that belief. It was that belief
that gave us the ground that we walked upon at the time. Now things have changed
and the facts that those beliefs were based upon are no longer applicable. Even
our beliefs must evolve. It is not that what we believed up until now is wrong,
and therefore so are our lives. It is that what we believed worked before and n
ow those beliefs must evolve to accommodate the present. I once believed that Go
d was a great old man that lived in the clouds. This does not mean that I was st
upid then or that I am smart now, my beliefs simply evolved to flow with my curr
ent experience. God created man in his own image. It made sense then. Now I beli
eve that we are much more than flesh and
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The Power Of One

blood and gender. So it makes sense that God evolves from flesh and blood and ge
nder in my belief system also. At one time that belief made sense and it worked.
I once believed that everyone in my life would fall apart if I did not work 24
hours a day to keep everyone going and try to be everything for everyone that I
knew. Because this was what I believed, everyone accommodated me by letting me c
arry every load that they had. One day I became very ill and had to spend a grea
t deal of time in the hospital. Much to my amazement, the world around me did no
t fall apart. This would seem like a very easy belief to change at this point bu
t it was not. We see ourselves through the image* of our beliefs, and without th
e mirror of my beliefs I found myself unsure of who I was or where I fit in anym
ore. Instead of feeling relieved I felt lost. After the hospital I had two choic
es. I could go back to my old belief system and no one would stand in my way. Th
e other choice was that I could see the truth. That truth being that my need to
make life easy for everyone around me was not something that anyone was only a p
roblem for me. The fact that they were in my life even though I could not do the
things that I believed gave me value; meant that my value was in who I was and
not what I did. Changing this belief changed my life. We can change our beliefs
without damaging our sense of self by understanding that all beliefs have a reas
on for being. We dont just believe something because we are stupid, or because we
are neurotic. We believe things because there was once an idea, a fact or a sto
ry that was planted in the ground like an acorn. From that acorn grew a mighty o
ak. That mighty oak is a belief. Beliefs do not come out of nowhere but It does
not matter where it came from or who planted that acorn, our parents, our teache
rs, our friends, or an experience, what matters is that the acorn was planted an
d life watered it and it became a mighty oak. Through our beliefs we make sense
of our lives. Yet since we are here to evolve and the world around us is in a co
nstant state of evolution it only makes sense that our beliefs would evolve in t
he same manner. We can detach ourselves from many things in our lives, but it is
very difficult to detach ourselves from our beliefs. So why try. What we must d
o is free our beliefs to grow and change with life. We do not have to cut off on
e in order to hold another, we simply have to let go and allow one belief to tra
nsform itself into another.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 9
GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION
It is only through gratitude that we can keep our lives in perspective.
There was a story someone told me about a couple of old people with very little
money, the husband had lost his arms and legs and the wife carried him in a bask
et. The man told me this story because the happiness that these two people had w
as his dream. This is happiness that is derived from simply the existence of eac
h moment. This is the miracle of being. There are experiences in the lives of ea
ch one of us that cause us to feel sad, or fearful or discouraged, that is O.K.
the problem comes when we cross over and cease to experience those emotions and
become them. We need to begin each day by making a list of at least 10 things we
can be grateful for, list them, give thanks for them and try at least 7 times d
uring the day to call them to mind. This is an exercise that is necessary to int
roduce the habit of gratitude into our lives. You see it is not only that we are
ungrateful, it is that we truly lose sight of what we have to be grateful for.
When we remind ourselves to be grateful what we are actually doing is reminding
ourselves of what we have to be grateful for. This exercise puts us into a place
of appreciating what we have. Most of our unhappiness comes from looking at wha
t we do not have or what is wrong in our lives. The practice of gratitude redire
cts our view to what is good instead of what is not or what is lacking. It is go
od to thank God, for the bounty that we have received, but usually that is a pra
ctice and if we are not truly thankful, God knows. However if we practice focusi
ng on the things in our lives that we have and have had to be grateful for, we b
ecome happier and that happiness in and of itself says Thank you to God. Our joy i
s light and light is God. When we are focused upon our joy or the joy in our liv
es we are focused upon God. Whatever we do for our souls we do for God. Whatever
we do from love we do from God. Even if it seems like a struggle to find things
each day to be grateful for, it is time that we spend looking up and not lookin
g down.
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Chapter 10
OUR NEED TO FEEL SAFE
We can never enjoy anything or any place unless along with everything else that
it gives us it also gives us a feeling of safety.
For each of us there was once a time when we had no uncertainty. There was a pla
ce where we had no fear and no doubt. That feeling was what we had when we were
home in the heart of the Universe. We knew that we were part of something that w
as perfect and therefore we were perfect. We knew who we were and we knew that w
e were love itself. We were perfect and complete as a part of All That Is. Our e
xistence was safe. We did not know what we had because we were it. We did not kn
ow that it was perfect because it was all that we knew. When we began to incarna
te it was to embark on a journey to find all that we already had in order to kno
w it. It is not that we are no longer all that we have ever been. We are only se
parated by a veil that does not allow us to see. We are in the darkness. The one
thing that we do not have so long as we are in the darkness is the feeling of b
eing safe. If there is one thing that every man woman and child on earth wants i
t is to feel safe. Underneath everything that we seek, everything that we covet,
is the simple need to feel safe. Why is it that a person can live 90 years, obv
iously being safe, yet always hungry and fearful because of the need to feel saf
ety? The problem is that what the majority of us consider to be safety is the on
e thing that we can not have. Safety, to most of us is a place where we can coun
t on nothing changing. Safety is not necessarily a place where we feel good. Whe
n we hit bottom, or become depressed, very often we stay there because although
it is not pleasant, it is safe. To finally know that things cannot get any worse
can sometimes feel like a good place to be for a while. It is safe to believe t
hat everyone is out to get us, or to believe that nothing that we do will ever w
ork. As long as we believe the worst, all surprises (theoretically) are good one
s. All absolutes, whether pleasant, or torturous are safe. The worst thing that
can happen, once we accept it, is good because it is safe. Wed rather be safe tha
n happy. In actuality, safety is a feeling that is no way connected with what is
real; it is only connected with what we believe to be real. There really is no
bottom. When we think that we have reached the bottom we will find that there wi
ll only be another. As far as pain is concerned as soon as we think that we cann
ot hurt anymore, we only find that our ability to hurt only increases. Life is a
series of highs and lows, peaks and valleys. It goes up it comes down it levels
out for a while then it goes up and down again. This continues from the moment
that we take our first breath to the moment that we take our last. As our lives
unfold we choose different points to mark off. These points are the moments that
we consider indicative of our lives; they are where our chapters end. They are
the story that we live. Each of these points creates the theme of our lives. It
is in this theme that we find our safety.
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The Power Of One

We feel safe anticipating that each story will end the same whether good or bad.
The crucial point is where we mark our chapters. Do we mark them on the highs a
nd the happy endings or do we mark them on the lows and have nothing but tragic
endings? Many times we mark them where our parents marked their lives. That does
not mean that we must continue to do so. One night I was watching a movie that
had a happy ending and I thought to myself that I wished my life could have a ha
ppy ending. At that moment I realized that my life had many happy endings. Howev
er, a sad ending sooner or later followed each happy ending. Each sad ending aga
in was followed, sooner or later by a another happy one. Every happy ending that
I saw in the movies was also followed by a next day, which could bring a new up
or a new down. But just as the writer of the movie chose to let us leave the th
eater remembering the happy ending, I had to choose to remember my life by my ha
ppy endings along with the sad ones. I have one friend who completely erases fro
m her memory banks anything bad that happens to her; I have another friend who c
ompletely erases everything good. One friend never learns the lessons that are c
ontained in the difficult experiences and therefore recreates far too many of th
em. The other friend lives a life that is hopelessly filled with disappointment.
She never sees any good. Although one of them seems to be much happier than the
other, neither of them feel safe because life does not prove to be consistent w
ith what they believe. To truly feel safe is to understand that life is in a sta
te of constant evolution as are we. And to realize that as we have handled it up
to now we will continue to handle whatever is put before us. We are not given a
nything to handle without being given exactly what we need to handle it. We can
neither control all that could happen nor can we anticipate all that will. We wi
ll never find safety in an absolute because there are none. When we build any wa
ll we will keep out not only the bad but also the good, but more importantly, on
e day that wall itself will cave in and crush us. The truth is that our lives ar
e rich in depth and color. This richness is based upon all of the highs and the
lows. Within each of us exists all that we could ever need to make us feel safe
because we are life. We are the Universe; it is around us and it is within us. W
e are safe. If we can pull ourselves away from the judgment of our lives and loo
k at our experiences as though they all had different colors, we would see their
beauty. We have the ability to grow and evolve and to adjust to our lives as th
ey happen because we are cocreators of those lives. We are in a place that is da
rk, but we carry the light within us. Once we accept this we can feel safe and f
rom there we can truly live the adventure that is before us.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 11
INTEGRATING THE EGO
When we know who we are, when we know where we fit, within that knowledge lives
a healthy ego.
Many people have come to realize that it is possible that their ego is standing
in the way of a special kind of happiness that seems to be eluding them. It is i
mportant to begin to be aware, and thereby separate ones soul action from ones e
go action. In order to be aware, it is necessary to know exactly what the though
ts and desires of the ego are, and perhaps where they originate. In the beginnin
g, there was the soul, and the soul was covered and protected by the love of God
, or Source. Then the soul came to be a part of a baby growing in the mothers wom
b, still, feeling the comfort and love of Source. Later, when the baby entered t
he world, it slowly lost its complete connection with God and its guides. It bega
n to feel attachment to the mother, to feel as a part of the mother. All of its
needs and desires were fulfilled physically by the mother. She was a part of the
baby an extension of the baby caring for its needs just as God was a part of th
e soul and cared for its needs. As time went on the soul felt that it was now ev
en separate from the mother, and alone. Here is the birth of the ego. Its purpos
e was to obtain comfort from the outside world, to remove fear and loneliness, t
o protect the physical existence of the soul. This is not something that the sou
l itself is capable of. It is not familiar ground for the soul. The ego takes on
the role of being God. It seeks to give the soul all that it once had first fro
m God, then from Mother. The problem arises because the ego can only obtain, it
cannot retain, and the soul cannot find comfort or satisfaction from the materia
l world, the only arena where the ego can maneuver. Since the ego does not know
God, it cannot turn to God. Only the soul knows God, but it cannot communicate t
his knowledge to the ego. To the ego even God is a threat. The ego is an illusio
n, a fake. Only the ego does not know this. So the ego is in a constant state of
obtaining things, people, and triumphs, in order to feed a starving soul that c
annot find nourishment in those things. Neither the ego nor the soul feels satis
fied. The ego seeks to survive, by means of providing the soul with whatever it
feels will satisfy it and make it feel safe. The ego remembers that as a child w
hen we did something wrong, we were punished, it caused us hurt. So the ego refu
ses to allow us to be wrong, to be caught, in order to prevent the punishment th
at it remembers as the result of being wrong. The only way that the ego can care
for the soul is by feeding it the only food that it sees is available. The food
that it sees consists of those things that can be taken and held. The ego knows
that there is only one way to hold onto anything and that is to have control, t
o have power. So the way to guarantee that it can feed the soul is by obtaining
this power. Power is in having more things, Power is used to hold onto love (to
hold onto the people that we want). Power is used to amass things in order to su
rround the soul with what it feels is safety.
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The Power Of One

Since the soul seeks love, the ego tries to get it and hold it for the soul, but
the only love the soul can be nourished by is the one that flows unconditionall
y. That love flows from a connection with God. It flows to us when it flows from
us. It is hard for the ego to allow anything to flow out because that translate
s to losing and becoming empty. The ego has to see that by allowing us to give a
nd allowing us to be open will ensure that it can receive those things that the
soul needs. We need to show the ego that sometimes what it considers losing is t
he only way to win what it really wants. So it is important to listen to our tho
ughts and our words. When I mentioned to a friend that he had to withdraw his eg
o from a battle of egos, and by doing so, all egos would be defeated, he asked m
e how long he would have to "grovel" (an ego word) before it was enough. The ans
wer is as long as it takes to defeat the ego, or, until it feels good. What the
soul feels is that if groveling brings harmony to others, it brings harmony to t
he soul. The soul has no need to protect itself, it is a part of God, and so it
is perfect. It is the ego that is in a constant defensive stance. So we must lis
ten to ourselves when we are about to get that last word in. We must stop and th
ink when we are about to curse out someone who cuts us off on the street, or jum
ps in front of us in the line. All of these satisfactions are very temporary, ha
rmony is permanent, and it is the road that loves travels. When we meet someone
who is cute, and we decide to pursue that person, then once we win that person o
ver we do not find satisfaction in him or her, why? It was our ego trying to fee
l good enough by winning the attention of someone that it feels would give us th
at feeling. The soul does not know cute, what someone looks like does not give e
ither the ego or the soul what they need. We once knew that we were a part of so
mething big, something so powerful that we felt safe. At that time our parents w
ho were also big and powerful in our eyes protected us. The ego seeks to emulate
that feeling of being big and powerful so that the soul feels safe. Unfortunate
ly there is always someone bigger and more powerful then us so when we depend on
our egos to feel safe we never feel safe we are only just working to feel safe.
So we must teach the ego how to let go. We must teach our egos to step aside an
d focus on what the soul really wants and how to best get. Pay attention, be awa
re, find instances to say "I m sorry", let someone else have the last word, give
in, the exercise is first to be aware of who is thinking, speaking or acting, o
ur souls or our egos. When we separate ourselves from our egos actions and modify
those actions we will then begin to humble our egos. The ego knows that we win
or we lose. If we win we are safe and if we lose we will be destroyed we will be
punished, we will be bad. We must teach the ego that we do not have to see ever
ything in terms of winning or losing anymore. We are not infants anymore and the
world is not as threatening to us as it seemed when we were small. Christ said r
esist not evil", He did not mean give in to it, He meant do not perpetuate it, w
alk away, it feeds on the fight, by the fighting we resist, we transfer our powe
r, we need to keep our power and walk. If we battle our egos, and win that fight
; all other impediments will fall in line. We are beginning to see the senseless
ness of having our happiness depend on people or circumstances that are outside
of ourselves. The problem of course being that when and if that person or situat
ion passes away, along with them passes away our happiness. We need to remove th
e obstruction to our happiness, the ego. The ego is not a bad thing, everyone ha
s some ego, some sense that although we are all one, we are all part of the same
ocean, we are also drops within that ocean, each drop is encased in the ego it
has an individuality.
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The Power Of One

It is important when dealing with the ego, to understand it, why it responds the
way that it does, then perhaps we can instead of annihilating it, incorporate i
t. The ego is a response mechanism, a protective armor, it is automatic action,
it obtains, but does not have. It is the hunger alone, so it is the hunger that
cries for food, but the hunger cannot be satisfied it is the stomach that is sat
isfied. The ego is never satisfied, it knows how to protect, but never feels saf
e. It is a tube, it is a funnel it so empties on both ends. It functions as the
need, but not the thing that needs. The ego wants love but never feels loved. Th
e ego is never permanently satisfied. The ego does not learn cause and effect, o
nly cause. It is also completely attached to the material, for it is the part of
us that is from this earth, and when our souls continues on, the ego ends. Know
ing that it will come to an end at some point, the ego is full of fear. The ego
says seeks to collect, constantly, because it never has. What it collects it cal
ls mine", so it does not lose anything, whatever it attaches to makes it feel lar
ger, and perhaps, more permanent. The more it can hold onto the greater it belie
ves is its chance at immortality. The ego is always in a defensive posture. The
ego exists so long as we need it. Therefore it must continuously prove to us how
necessary it is to our survival. Remember that it is constantly hungry, and con
stantly on guard for any threat. The ego is jealous, it trusts no one. It is onl
y satisfied while acting. The first step in dealing with the ego is in being awa
re of it. Paying attention each time we say the word I. Question who is speaking,
is it our egos or our souls? The way to begin this is to know what it is that ou
r true selves wants and what it is that our egos want, and who is being satisfie
d. The ego enjoys conflict, it enjoys winning It is constantly proving its impor
tance, again, for the purpose of survival.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 2
THE IMPORTANCE OF PERCEPTION
There is no such thing as a fact; all that exists is a perception. Even a fact w
ould be irrelevant in ones life it one did not perceive it as such.
Each perception of the situation creates a different reaction and each reaction
creates a different outcome. One can ruin our lives, allow opportunities to pass
us by. One can take us to incredible new avenues, its all a matter of perspecti
ve. No one remembers how many times we fall only how many times we rise. If we p
erceive ourselves as being victims we will be victimized. So now where does one
go? How do we see the glass? Do we see it as half empty or half full? Only the U
niverse knows all the facts, all that we will ever know is what we perceive to b
e the facts and even that is subject to change and other perceptions. Our percep
tions will determine our actions or reactions to any given situation. Things app
ear to be the way the most people believe them to be. The truth as we know it is
not based upon reality it is based upon consensus. An observation is relative t
o the perception of the observer. Every opportunity in life is open to anyone wh
o perceives that it belongs to him or her. If I perceive a wall as a dead end, I
will turn back but if I perceive it merely as an obstacle I will get a ladder a
nd climb over it. No matter what situation we are in, there is someone who perce
ives it as better than theirs and someone who perceives it as worse. Finally the
re is someone who will perceive that better or worse is irrelevant. If we want t
o change our lives we have to change the way that we perceive them. There is a s
tory about a man who had two sons. One son was always happy one was never happy.
So the father decided one Christmas to give the son who was never happy every p
ossible toy imaginable. The other son he gave nothing but horse manure. When he
went into the room of the son who was never happy, he found the boy sitting on t
he floor looking very sad. When he asked why the boy said that with so many toys
there would never be enough room to play. When he went into the room of the son
with the horse manure, he found the boy smiling and singing with a shovel in hi
s hand just shoveling away. When the father asked his son why he was so happy he
said, With all of the manure there must to be a pony. People, who are truly happy
, seem to illuminate peace. We may find that they have nothing more to be happy
about than we and in appearance perhaps even less. Sometimes it may seem to us t
hat they live in a fools paradise, but how foolish can one be who lives in paradi
se? When I was a child I had material abundance. I had everything that money cou
ld buy. I had dolls that walked and dolls that talked. There was nothing that I
could imagine that I did not have. I was still not happy. Each new toy made me h
appy for a while but soon the happiness wore off along with whatever toy it was
attached to. One day my father took me to play with a little girl who lived in o
ne of his apartment buildings. She had nothing compared to what I had, but she h
ad one thing that I did not have, she had happiness.
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The Power Of One

In her world happiness had not come from the outside in, it had come from the in
side out. My dolls talked, so they said 10 phrases and it was over. Her dolls di
d not talk for themselves, so she talked for them and the conversations were end
less. She had what first looked to me like nothing, but what I realized was that
within nothing lies unlimited possibilities. Nothing can be filled with as much
as our imaginations can hold. When we have too many things we take up room that
could be filled with the incredible. Things take up space that can be filled wi
th love. Things take up space that could be filled with endless imaginings. My f
amily gave me things and called them love so my perception was that love was att
ached to things. Her perception was that love was simply attached to nothing and
to everything. I had everything but she was rich. I realized that what we have
does not matter, what matters is how we perceive what we have. My things limited
my ability to receive love because my perception of love was attached to things
. We move through the physical world, but we live in a world of perception. One
person perceives himself or herself as poor because that person has only one bat
hroom. Someone else perceives that same person as rich because he or she has a b
athroom in their home instead of an outhouse. Someone else perceives that person
as rich because instead of an outhouse he only has a hole in the ground. Before
we change our lives we must change the way that we perceive them. Ask yourself
these questions. How do you perceive life? Do your possessions belong to you or
do they define you? Is a glass half empty or half full? Are you made better by y
our surroundings or are your surroundings made better or worse by you? Do the cl
othes make the man or does the man make the clothes? Do you believe the bottom i
s the beginning or the end? Is your ability to give determined by how much you h
ave? We cannot change our lives until we know exactly how we perceive them. Chan
ging our physical world will do nothing for us because the physical world is onl
y the backdrop against which we live our lives. The place where we actually live
is in our perception. Once we truly understand how we perceive our world we wil
l automatically understand that there are other ways. Each way of perceiving any
situation or any experience has its own unique set of possibilities and choices.
Happy people see beauty in things that unhappy people don t not because they wo
uld not see them as beautiful. It is because they do not see them at all. When t
he ground is dirty happy people look up and see the beautiful clouds, they find
what the Buddhist call "the bless in the mess. I remember a job that I had that m
ade my life so miserable I had to quit. Having no job my grandmother made being
home so hard I went out to look for one on my birthday. Thanks to that job endin
g I started my own business making close to 1,000,000.00 a year. It all happened
fast, but I did not take the time to feel sorry for myself. I did not allow mys
elf the time to engage in self-pity or self-destructive behavior. I did not see
the loss of my job as the end so I did not miss that opportunity. But I have to
add that opportunity is a train that runs twenty-four hours a day seven days a w
eek. It may take determination to find the station, but if we don t give up we w
ill find it. Christ said" Seek and ye shall find....knock and the door shall be
opened into you", no other conditions, just seek or knock, we may have to be the
re a while but so long as we don t give up, we ll get it. It is up to us as to h
ow we perceive each experience that makes up our lives. Our perceptions and our
actions or reactions that are based upon those perceptions will determine what f
ollows.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 3
ACTION INSTEAD OF REACTION
When we react we are in essence finishing a story that was begun by someone or s
omething else. When we act we are writing our own story.
If we first master controlling our reactions then we automatically master contro
lling the direction of our lives. A man has a high paying job, a beautiful house
, a family, a car and all the trappings of success. Then one day his company rep
laces him with a computer. He gives up, hides from life considers himself a fail
ure. He loses his house his car his family and ends up on the street, in a box,
begging for change to buy a bottle of liquor. This man believes that he was unlu
cky, or that he was paying back karma, or he had a bad Uranus in his astrologica
l chart. Or he could just believe that it could happen to anyone. Another man ha
s the same thing happen to him. But this man reacts differently. The day after h
e loses his job looks for a new one any job. He begins negotiating with his cred
itors to buy time, and when no one gives him a job in his field he ends up worki
ng for someone who mows lawns. This is not enough money so at night he works in
a supermarket. He develops a relationship with the people whose lawns he mows, h
e saves to buy some used equipment and gets some referrals, goes on his own and
loses nothing except perhaps some ego, but he ends up financially better than be
fore. The life experience, the initial situation is the same in both cases, it i
s not luck that makes the difference, the difference was in each mans reaction t
o the situation. The first man declared himself a victim, or a loser, became ang
ry, or resentful, or just felt sorry for himself, in any case, he quit. Our enti
re life is written by how we act or react. The situations or the people with who
m we find ourselves interacting do not write it. When we live a life that is in
reaction to, we are living a life as a victim. When we see a situation and contr
ol how we will act within it and not allow the situation to control us and there
fore react, we are truly the captains of our ships. To live in the knowledge tha
t we did the best that we could is the only truth that we can have in our lives.
That is where we are with God in our presence. In each moment of our lives we m
ust act in accordance with who we are. We must act in alignment with our soul. W
hen we do this we are acting and living consistently no matter what happens arou
nd us. Our lives may change drastically but that change does not affect us. We d
o
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The Power Of One

not feel out of control because the outside world does not control our actions.
We are controlling them. When our focus is on what we do and not on what is done
to us, we are in control, we are acting and not reacting. When we are centered
and acting from our own center no matter what the world does, we never feel unsu
re. When we reach this point the world outside of us becomes aligned with us. Th
ere are no more surprises. This is because we are not dependent upon the world w
e are dependent upon ourselves. Our lives are not ruled by what goes on only by
what we do. This is being in the world and not of it. When we get into our cars
to drive we know that some cars will stop fast, some will come out of no where,
there may be an accident that throws us off course. This does not keep us from d
riving and it does not make us afraid. We feel secure in the belief that we can
handle whatever happens because we are in control of our vehicle. This is how li
fe is when we are in control of ourselves, of our actions. We are fully aware th
at anything can happen, but that does not bother us because we know that we are
able to handle it. So long as we remain awake and keep our eyes on the road we w
ill take advantage of every opening that appears in our path and we can steer cl
ear of every obstacle. It is a matter of living within the awareness that anythi
ng is possible and anything can be handled so long as we are paying attention. W
e simply need to be in alignment with our own source. That source is the drivers
seat. That source within us never changes and never lets us down. It keeps us c
onnected with the gas pedal, the brakes and the steering wheel. This is the know
ledge of one who truly lives his or her own life. One who is truly paying attent
ion and able to act on any possibility. This is one who is realized. That is not
a goal that is unattainable. It is simply living in the one truth. It is not be
ing one who reacts to the illusion that is the world; it is one who acts from th
e reality that is the soul.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 4
IDENTIFICATION
If we identify ourselves with anything or anyone outside of our own souls, we wi
ll inevitably, at some point, lose our identity.
We come into this incarnation from a place where we do not think of ourselves as
separate. We have the knowledge that we are all one. In that special understand
ing that we are part of a greater whole, we feel safe and we feel love. This kin
d of love is one that we long to recreate while we are here, it is safe and it i
s secure because it is unconditional. We are complete because we are part of com
pleteness. It is like water, the ocean is an ocean of drops of water. We enter o
ur bodies and are blinded by an illusion that we are separate drops and although
in our souls we have a deep memory that we are really an ocean. Yet because of
the illusion we are blinded to seeing this. I remember once I took L.S.D. with s
ome friends in an apartment in Washington D.C. on the seventh floor. At one poin
t we all looked out of the window and saw Times Square over run by zoo animals.
It looked as real as if I were actually standing there yet deep inside of me, be
hind what I was seeing was the knowledge that it was not real. No matter how rea
l it looked, I knew that I was blinded to reality by the drug. This is our exper
ience here. The reality that we see is that we are now separate. Yet inside of u
s somewhere is the knowledge that we are not only still in the Ocean; but that w
e still are the Ocean. However the illusion is what we see and that illusion mak
es us feel vulnerable and alone. Although there is something exciting about bein
g an individual there is also something missing. We feel detached from the whole
that we are a part of and yet know somewhere that we are not. When we first ent
er our bodies we enter through our mothers bodies. She feeds us she nurtures us
she recreates to some extent our feeling of being a part of something greater. W
hen we leave her body we still feel as though we are connected to everything tha
t is around us. The world of an infant is the world as he or she remembers. When
the baby closes its eyes, the world is dark it is one with its environment. Our
journey is to pierce the veils of illusion and to remember that we are always a
part of the same whole. Our true eye, the eye of our soul the reality, sees tha
t we are part of the Ocean that is God, but our physical eye, the eye of our min
d sees the illusion of the world that we feels a part of as the reality. As long
as the eye on the inside sees one thing and the eyes on the outside see another
we cannot see the truth. When the two eyes become one we can enter the kingdom
of Heaven. Then and only then do we know that we are already there. When the ins
ide and the outside are the same the illusion is wiped away. As we grow within o
ur physical illusion we begin to believe that we are not connected, that we are
separate, yet because this is not the truth we are constantly seeking to become
a part of anything that we can. We are trying to find our place, trying to find
the truth. So since we believe our reality to be our physical experience, we see
k to identify ourselves with it. Because we do not remember who we are we attach
our identity at first to whatever whole is around us, our mother and then our f
amily and then our peer group. We identify with anything that we do or that we h
ave or that we see in our environment because our self is somehow lost in what w
e cannot remember.
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The Power Of One

We use those powerful words, "I am" in such self-destructive ways. We say I am b
lack, I am white, I am Greek, I am Italian, I am Cuban, I am a Doctor, I am a La
wyer, I am an artist on and on. People will say" I am from a good family or I am f
rom a poor family, I went to all the right schools or I couldn t afford the right sc
hools. All of these things have nothing whatsoever to do with who we are or where
we are in life. Most often when someone reminds us of their pedigree, or their
credentials they are not talking to us, they are talking to themselves. They are
trying to convince themselves that they are better than they themselves believe
they are. Christ said," By his works you will know him." We identify ourselves
with everything outside in order to belong and feel connected. We are so afraid
of connecting with our selves because we are afraid that we will be alone when i
n fact we will be all one. We identify ourselves with whatever will make us fit
in. We are all guided by the right feeling we just look for it in the wrong plac
e. We go outside of ourselves instead of inside. We are walking two roads simult
aneously the souls journey is symbolized by the physical path and where the two
paths finally join is the point where we will find our truth. The physical world
is a journey through everything that is not in order to find everything that we
are not. Through eliminating that which we are not we find what we actually are
. The entire world is looking for someone who knows where he or she is going. We
seek to be accepted we seek to be good enough and the only way to be good enoug
h is being the best we can be. When we think about who we are, we must strip awa
y skin color, religion, family name, history, and position. Then look in the mir
ror at who is left. And we will find that who is left is God. Once we strip away
all of the physical attachments and identifications, we become everything that
is truly real. We become what beauty is. We have reached an important revelation
in our course in our life lessons. We are not all of those things we identify w
ith. Now it is time to discard the robes of the material world and adorn ourselv
es with the robes of the God. To wear the" I am a perfect image of God" and begi
n to live our lives as our true selves. Sometimes we must see ourselves as nothi
ng in the eyes of the world to become open to the joy of seeing how perfect we a
re in the eyes of God.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 5
*
HAVING ENOUGH
More or less is never enough, but enough is always enough.
One of the most important keys to happiness is having enough. Most of us actuall
y have enough to be happy right in front of us, but as usual we are not looking
there to find it. We are looking at what someone else either has or what someone
else says that we should have. One day it dawned on me that if there was any re
ason that I should consider myself lucky, it would be that I always have enough.
I have had very little money and I have had a lot of money, but at each stage t
he things that I wanted were within my reach. It was not that I did not know tha
t there existed more than I had, I just never wanted more than I could have. I h
ave a friend who I always felt was very beautiful. She was short in height had b
eautiful dark hair and a beautiful olive complexion. She never felt that she was
attractive because she was not a tall blond. It came to me that she could never
be happy with herself, with that kind of image. I then realized that all of the
women that I felt were beautiful, looked not like me but were within my reach.
I understood how so many people were not happy because the key to their happines
s was always somewhere over there and never here. The sad thing was that when th
ey bought the house over there that they thought would make them happy, immediat
ely there was another one somewhere else there that was better. Happiness for so
many people is always in having more, or in something else, they never have eno
ugh. The problem is that they never experience what they have only what they do
not have. What we have *is ours because at some point it was what we wanted. Wha
t happened to the wanting when it became ours? Again it is the question of wheth
er it was the thing that we wanted in the first place or something that we expec
ted to find within it that was not there. It is always something that someone el
se seems to have that we dont. The funny thing is that we are someone else to som
eone else. As we are looking at our neighbor, our neighbor is looking at us. If
this were to be our last moment, it would contain all that we have and all that
we will ever have. This means that if this is our time to go, we have everything
that we came here for. Therefore we have enough. Each moment that we have lived
along with everything in our lives at this present moment is enough. This is ou
r story, this is who we are right now and that is more than enough. What we have
at any given moment must be enough because it is all that there is and because
it is ours. We have what the Universe intended for us to have at this point in o
ur lives. We are complete. If you can look back at your life and recapture the f
ullness of each experience, you will see that you have enough. When we can look
within to find our personal value and not attach it to things outside of ourselv
es we will then begin with enough. If we begin with enough, anything that we add
to that is extra. We are already complete.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 16
BECOMING COMFORTABLE WITH CHANGE
Until we can accept and embrace change, we will be unprepared for life.
It is not change that makes us uncomfortable. We are not afraid when we decide t
o change our homes, or when we change our minds. The kind of change that we are
afraid of is the change that comes from outside of us. It is not change that we
fear it is the loss control over our lives. This is what change means to us. We
have become accustomed to believing that things should move in a certain way, th
at life should be lived in a certain way. I remember hearing that children need
consistency. It is not children who need consistency it is just what everyone wa
nts. Truth is consistent. Children need truth and so do we all. For so long we h
ave lived our lives based on appearances. We have smiled though our hearts were
breaking. Lived in houses that we could not afford to maintain appearances. Our
Society has become so dependent upon appearances that when the illusion fails to
keep its form we become afraid. I was speaking to my broker the other day and I
said something about the recent market crash. He corrected me and said that it
was an adjustment. Now that is really true. The thing is that life is in a state
of adjustment now. Things around us are not crazy they are becoming real. The i
llusion that we have been so dependent upon cannot be maintained. In order to ha
ve consistency in our lives we must accept consistent change. Life will never be
as it was because it was not real. We were all living in castles in the sky, or
trying to build them. Now we must become comfortable with ourselves. We must fi
nd the truth within ourselves and see that it is only within truth that we are s
afe. When we are flowing with life it is not moving past us. When we embrace cha
nge as growth it does not rock our worlds. Change is not sudden it is constant.
When something seems to happen suddenly it is because we have resisted for so lo
ng that the pressure has built up and finally broken through. We are constantly
in a state of change from moment to moment that is growth that is evolution. Not
hing stays the same that is real. However dealing with change on a personal leve
l and on a societal level is a process. The first step in the process is to see
the truth to see that things the way that they are do not work any longer. Once
we see the truth we become shaken. After we are shaken, we begin to do everythin
g in our power to recreate the lie, to hold on to things the way that they were
or the way that they are. The problem is that since we really know the truth we
cannot maintain the lie. When it falls apart for the last time we accept it. Thi
s acceptance brings peace. Anything that does not change does not continue. We m
ust stop thinking of change as something that is different than growth. There is
no difference; change is only another word for growth. Embrace change, because
it means that we are living. Life flows like water. What is not real will not su
rvive. We cant be hard on ourselves. We do not find the
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The Power Of One

changes in our lives comfortable because it is a process, all acceptance is a pr
ocess and the time that it takes is very individual. It never takes too long or
happens too fast, it happens the way it should for each individual.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 17
RELEASING OUR BAGGAGE
Everything that we carry beyond who we are at this current moment is excess bagg
age.
I was faced with a choice regarding the quality of the life that I would live. I
could be unhappy; looking at the seemingly unending list of tragedies that seem
ed to enter my life, not to mention all of the great adversity that I invited in
to my life through poor judgment. Or I could look at the fact that for every dol
lar I lost I found $5, and for every $1 that was stolen from me, I was given $10
. So I could live a life of one who is miserable because for every, win there is
a loss, or as someone grateful because for every loss there is a gain. These ar
e the decisions that I felt I had to make in order to survive the most painful t
imes of my life. During this time, this hell within hell, the dark night of the
soul, I just had to find a way to be happy from a place that life could not affe
ct. I decided that I would not rely on life for my happiness, basically I decide
d that because I had to go on for the sake of my family, I needed to take contro
l of my life. Or more accurately, I had to take control of the quality of my lif
e, and the only way to do that was to refuse to allow the exterior world to dict
ate my living. To take control of our lives is to do begin eliminating the bagga
ge that we carry with us from our past. It is this baggage, my sad childhood in
one suitcase, my bad marriage in another, and my feelings of self-loathing in an
other. All of this baggage seemed to have within in no bottom. Each moment that
I lived seemed to jump back into the suitcase that most resembled it. So with al
l of that baggage, I literally could not go anywhere that I did not have clothes
in my suitcases to fit. Since I carried those suitcases with me, I lived out of
them. I could only venture in my life where I was equipped to go. That equipmen
t being the clothes in my baggage. I only went into experiences; or rather I onl
y related to experiences that I had from my past. In order for me to move forwar
d, to begin fresh, I had to travel light. Let go of my past experiences and my p
ast habits and come only with myself. Our baggage limits us. We feel responsible
to live out of it when we have it with us. Once we let it go we get to shop for
a whole new wardrobe. The key is to keep that wardrobe only so long as it fits
where we are. When we move on, leave it behind and take only what is necessary.
That is us. We need to understand that each situation is different. Each situati
on is new. We need different perspectives, different solutions. In order to trul
y realize that the totality of each new experience, we need to start fresh. Once
we learn to leave the past where it was appropriate, we will see each moment as
it is. Our lives will be fuller because we are living in it as it happens.
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The Power Of One

In order to truly release our past, and leave our baggage behind, we must come t
o terms with it. We must always close the past, not just walk away from it. We n
eed to put it where it belongs intentionally. We have to truly release ourselves
from guilt and regret. Because when we come to the realization that perhaps, we
are in some way responsible for the unhappiness that seems to follow us, we add
the blame of carrying it to the other baggage that we are carrying. So even whe
n we read all of the steps that show us how to move forward, we add to our burde
ns that guilt, or the loss of self worth for not releasing those things that cau
se us pain thereby causing ourselves more pain. It is essential to understand th
at everything that we did is OK, everything is appropriate for the situation in
which it was created, and our past actions, our past emotions are fine as long a
s we leave them where they belong. Even if we fall backwards, or take a long tim
e to stop, that is OK too. We have not done anything wrong we cannot do anything
wrong. We are learning. As a child learns to speak, and says one of those cute
things that are not exactly right, it is not wrong, it is all in the process of
learning. We need to release ourselves, and go even further, we need to praise o
urselves for acknowledging the need to change. We should praise ourselves for ma
king the attempt. If we intend to grow, intend to improve, intend to become a be
tter person, those intentions show that we are growing. They show that we are le
arning and becoming the person, the soul that we are meant to be.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 18
KNOWING OUR CHOICES
All that we need to be in control of our lives is to know that we have choices.
We do not even have to exercise them so long as we own them.
Our lives are not determined by the situations that confront us, but by the choi
ces that we make when confronted. If I am born into a poor family I can accept m
y lot and make the best of it, I can work hard to overcome it, or I can become a
thief, or a drug dealer. We are not victims of the situations that life puts us
in, we are victims of the choices that we make within them. It is vital to livi
ng a full life to accept this fact. I knew a woman who was living a very unhappy
life; she began with everything and ended up living on the street. I saw my dau
ghter once reacting to things in the same way an it worried me that if my daught
er saw things in the same way she might react to them in the same way. My daught
er said to me Dont worry I wont end up like her. That statement had such an impact o
n me, because I knew that no one decides to live an unhappy life. Our lives foll
ow the path determined by our choices and those choices are made one at a time.
Each choice is taking us in one direction or another. If we are not aware that w
e are making choices, we will not look around us for options. The path that my f
riend was on was not the path that she thought she chose it was the path that sh
e took because she believed she had no other choice. When we are in a place that
is not where we had planned to be, we feel unhappy, either with ourselves or wi
th the life that we feel put us there. Usually we prefer to accept that it is li
fe and not ourselves that put us where we are. It is generally a partnership, li
fe presented to choices and we made them. Understanding that we made the choices
helps us to continue to make them. It helps us to stand back when things seem b
leak and look for other choices, look for another way. If we feel like a victim,
if we feel like we have no choice, then we stay where we are and suffer, or we
keep digging ourselves in instead of digging ourselves out. My childhood was ver
y difficult and I felt that I was a victim. I became involved in drugs, I tried
to kill myself, and I married the wrong man in order to escape, exiting through
the only door that I could see simply because I was not aware that there could b
e others. I felt very sorry for myself. I believed that I was a victim and the c
ircumstances in my life as long as I held that belief only reinforced that feeli
ng. There was nothing new. All of my limits, fears and pain simply changed form
but remained consistent with my belief that I was a victim. One day while I was
in therapy the therapist asked me why I chose to take drugs. Now I came from a t
own where taking drugs was the accepted way that we all dealt with our pain. How
ever when I had to explain it as a choice, something changed. Suddenly it dawned
on me that it was a choice, one of many choices that I could have made. When we
are children we do not have many obvious choices, we can fight, we can hide but
we cannot change our situation. We actually have very little apparent power. Wi
thin that context I did not see myself as making choices, I simply reacted. I ac
cept the choices that I made; I accept my reaction to that environment because I
did not know at the time that I had choices. I could not look back and blame my
self for walking through a door that seemed to me to be the only one open. Yet k
nowing even after the fact that I did have choices gave me the power that I need
ed to move on. I finally realized that each step along the way in my life I did
make a choice.
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The Power Of One

Perhaps I made the only choice that I could see, and that was O.K., because a pe
rson with choices is not a victim. I may have made wrong choices, but those choi
ces were mine. This freed me. The fact that my life is made up of my choices gav
e me my wings. Nothing could stop me but me, and that was fine. I knew that in m
y life I may reach many dead ends, but if I built the road that got there, I cou
ld build the road that would get me out. We are suffering not because of the wha
t happens to us in our lives but because of the choices that we make in reaction
to them. In each moment of our lives we are making a choice, and that choice wi
ll determine the next experience. No choice is the last choice until we take our
last breath. We cannot assess our worth based upon one choice, but rather upon
our willingness to accept responsibility for each choice and therefore make each
choice responsibly. Always remembering that as long as we have a breath we have
another choice. Sometimes we even have to make a choice that seems wrong to get
to a place that is ultimately right. When a situation is painful it is not work
ing. If we cannot find a way to make it work there probably is no way. Here is w
here we have to make a choice if we stay that is our choice and if we keep movin
g that too is our choice. The controlling factor is not the situation it is the
choice that we make. The simple fact is that it is not the right situation. That
does not in any way mean that there is no right situation. If I want my partner
, but only if he or she fits into a certain mold, I really want the mold. I shou
ld look elsewhere or change the mold. If I need a job but I will only work under
certain conditions, I cannot complain that I cannot get a job. I just have to c
hoose what I want more and follow my choice. No matter what we do we are making
choices, whether that choice is to do something or to do nothing, and what happe
ns to us is and will always be a result of that choice not ever a result of the
reason we made the choice. There is a person with one leg who plays tennis and l
ives a full life and joyful life. Then there is the person with one leg who sits
in a room lonely and bitter feeling that life has given him nothing but pain. I
t used to get me angry that every time I said that I could not do something beca
use it was too hard, or even impossible to accomplish and someone else would do
it, someone with less going for them than I had. But I chose to let that help me
grow. I could have said that that person was lucky, and I was not. That way of
thinking would have been a choice that would validate my self-pity. Instead I ch
ose to allow others accomplishments to empower me, to make it harder for me to s
ay, I cant. We have to take responsibility for our choices, and embrace our ability
to choose. Some souls have chosen a more difficult road that others, yet howeve
r difficult or easy the road may be, we have all come here with everything that
we need to reach our own destination. The pot of gold is behind one of the doors
. All that we have to do is to find it. It is like a treasure hunt, each experie
nce gives us something, a direction, a tool, a clue to the next until we have it
all. The key is not to give up if it is not behind door number one. We have to
keep in mind that the goal is to find the treasure not to be right. God knows wh
ere it is and He will lead us to it so long as we choose to seek it.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 19
LEARNING TO LET GO
Letting go is being open. It is viewing our experiences as just that, experience
s and not as who we are. When we do this, we may act or we may not act but whate
ver we do, we do because we have moved to a point where we can see clearly.
A man falls off of a cliff. As he is falling he grabs onto a branch that is stic
king out of the side of the mountain. As he hangs there he says, God, please help
me. Soon he hears a loud penetrating voice saying My son, I am God, do you believ
e in me? The man answered, Oh yes God I believe in you with all of my heart, thank
you so much. God replied, If you want me to save you then you must do what I say a
nd the man said I will do anything you say, I promise, please just tell me what t
o do God said, If you believe in me, then LET GO. After a moment the man looked up
and said, Is there anyone else who can help me? Letting go is not giving up; it is
getting out of the way. It is the understanding that once we do all that we can
, we must have faith that the rest will be taken care of. It is saying that I am
a part of what is happening, and perhaps I need to allow the Universe to assist
me. When we ask for help, when we need help, help comes. It may not come in the
form that we want it to come in, but it comes. However, unless we let go, we ca
nnot receive help. If we pick up the arrow and set it in the bow and aim, unless
we shoot, unless we let it go, it will never reach its mark. Often we hang on s
o hard because we do not want to appear to the world as having made a mistake. W
e need to look right, somehow we believe that if we look right somehow we will b
e right. So we do everything that we can to make the most difficult situation ap
pear to be wonderful rather that just letting this situation go and really findi
ng a wonderful one. Sometimes it is not even because of others that we hold on t
o a bad situation, it is because we cannot release ourselves if we make a mistak
e. So instead of letting go and saying this situation is not right let me keep l
ooking, we destroy our lives trying to make it right. When reaching for an apple
we may accidentally pick up an orange. What we should do is accept that these t
hings happen and put down the orange and pick up the apple. This is not what we
do, we will choose to die of starvation make the orange an apple. We are unable
to allow ourselves to be wrong. We have such a need to be right that we actually
prevent ourselves from getting whatever it is that we actually wanted. If we pu
t a rat in a maze and place the cheese somewhere in the maze the rat will look a
round until it finds it. Once the rat finds the cheese, each time we put it into
the maze it will go to where it found the cheese the first time. If the cheese
is moved, once the rat finds that the cheese is not there it will begin the sear
ch all over again for where the cheese is now; its goal being to find the cheese.
We are not like that, we will continue to go to where the cheese is supposed to
be until we die. In this life the fact is that everything will not always work
out but something will always work out. Something will always fall apart but eve
rything will never fall apart. We have to begin to accept that if this isnt it, t
hat does not mean that it does not exist, it simply means that this isnt it, or t
hat this is another doorway not the destination.
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The Power Of One

If the situation that one is in is causing pain, since one is in pain anyway it
might be a good time to find another situation. Pain whether physical or emotion
al is a true sign that something is wrong. We become afraid to release control.
We can become so caught up in controlling everything that nothing gets done. All
that we can really control is ourselves. Letting go is stepping back and seeing
what is real. When we are too attached to something then we cannot really under
stand it. Our focus is on holding the object and not on the object itself. Every
thing happens for some reason, we need to do what we can from our hearts and let
the rest go. Life will always work itself out if we let it. We only kill what w
e hold onto; we cannot keep anything. When there is nothing more to do, we know
it. When it is time to let go we will feel it, the point is to listen. Letting g
o is trusting, sometimes it is trusting ourselves, or our friends or our lovers,
but always it is trusting the perfect order of the Universe. One can never see
a picture from within it. We must let go, detach, and step outside of the situat
ion order to find any resolution. Whenever one finds oneself holding on too tigh
tly or even holding on at all, there is something wrong. We believe that we must
hold on, we must control everything because we believe that if we did not there
would be chaos. The fact is that the Universe is in perfect order we just dont s
ee it from where we stand. Once we let go everything finds its proper place. Let
ting go is not just trusting. It is the only way to assure that balance will be
found. Only when we let go can an arrow reach its mark, only when we let go can
a letter reach the recipient. Letting go does not mean not participating. It mea
ns flowing with nature. It means going with life, living in life and not trying
to control it. We cannot tell the Universe where the stars belong, we must learn
from the Universe by allowing them to go where they belong. This is letting go.
When we resist we do not trust and when we do not trust we create a blockage. W
hen there is a blockage it does not stop the water permanently, what it does is
it creates pressure that so that when the water finally breaks through it is wit
h so much force that it destroys all that is in its path. It is this resistance
and pressure that causes pain. God does not cause us to suffer; He causes our li
ves to flow perfectly like the water. When we do not accept the flow we cause a
block. When we hold on we interfere with the natural flow of life. It is the res
istance, the pressure that causes us to suffer. The pain comes from not acceptin
g that we live in life we do not control it. What will be will be. We are guests
here; we need to respect the order and natural rhythm of the Universe. There is
no point in trying to change it. We are each here in lessons that were designed
to fit us perfectly. These lessons were designed with such love and compassion
that it is beyond our ability to comprehend. Our lives are perfect for each us,
we have no ability and no right to try and control the world. We do not see how
intricately our lives; our experiences and our destinies are connected with the
lives, experiences and destinies of everyone else in the Universe. We are so cau
ght up on the thread that is our individual lives that we do not acknowledge and
respect our role, our place in the blanket that is the Universe. Letting go and
Letting God is not a theory or a goal to attain. Letting go and Letting God is
the only way to avoid the suffering that we experience when we try to control Go
ds plan and find the joy that is the purpose of the plan.
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The Power Of One

Chapter 20
FREEING OURSELVES FROM OUR SHELLS
A bird does not accept its shell as its world. It pecks away until it is free. T
his is what we must do, peck away at our limits until we too are free.
Birds are born within a shell, and they peck their way out of that shell piece b
y piece and when they are finally free from that shell they start to learn to fl
y. We are also born in a shell, but it is not a shell made of matter, it is a sh
ell made of limits. The limits that are part of our family structure, or peer gr
oup our early environment. As we grow we must learn to peck away at that shell s
o that we too can learn to fly. A bird could not seek to fly if it did not have
wings. Nor could we reach for or dream of reaching for any goal unless we had th
e wings to take us there. Just as a bird must first free itself from its shell i
n order to spread its wings and fly, so must we free ourselves from our shell in
order to empower our dreams to fly. One person might have come from a poor fami
ly, one that envied others with money, and was instilled with the belief that he
or she was from the wrong side of the track and could never achieve what others
have. This would be his or her shell. That person may imagine a beautiful house
, imagine being a success, but the reality; the shell is that he or she cannot a
chieve this. That person may grow to hate the shell and those who created it, an
d therefore develop self-hatred for being a part of them. Yet the only thing tha
t keeps one within that shell and that pain is the belief in it, as long as that
shell is believed to be real; it is real. The only thing that can free one from
that shell and from that pain is the belief in a dream, a belief in ones wings.
When one believes in oneself and in ones dreams they become the reality and any a
ttachment to the prior limits is destroyed. That old shell crumbles as the shell
of a bird. Now this may take time, peck by peck, little success by little succe
ss until one day we are out. It could also happen because life kicks us out of o
ur shells; forcing us for some reason to stretch beyond what we believe to be ou
r limits. It could happen in many ways and sadly, it does not have to happen at
all. What is important to understand is that it is up to us. Our original shell
consists of the accepted limits of our environment, be it a family, a neighborho
od or a system. Our caretakers protect those limits because they themselves fear
that they cannot save us if we journey beyond them. If my arm can only reach so
far I cannot want my child to venture beyond that. So many of our boundaries ar
e enforced out of love. Many times once we have succeeded at breaking our shell
and taking flight into the adventure that is our birthright we can look back at
those who tried to protect us within their shells and give them wings.
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Chapter 21
SUCCESS & FAILURE
What we consider failure is merely a rehearsal for success
Belief is the greatest factor in whether or not we succeed in reaching our goals
or not. Whether we believe that we are able to reach them or whether we believe
that the tools that we have will bring us to our goals. There is a story about
a German troop during World War II that was out of guns. The commander handed ea
ch soldier an imaginary weapon and told him that this weapon was superior to any
other. He told them that they only had to point it at their enemy and say, Bang
bang and the enemy would drop down dead. One day the soldier, as he was fighting
in the field of battle saw an enemy soldier, pointed his imaginary weapon and sa
id, Bang bang and enemy fell down dead. He was so excited that he charged after ea
ch enemy soldier that he could find pointing his imaginary weapon and yelling, Ba
ng bang and they all dropped like flies. Soon after he heard the Star Spangled Ba
nner playing in the air, and he knew that the Americans were coming. He was read
y, he pointed his imaginary gun at the first American soldier that he saw and ye
lled, Bang Bang, and nothing happened, the soldier kept advancing. He did it again
and still the American soldier kept advancing. Soon the German soldier found hi
mself on the ground dying, and as he slowly faded out of consciousness he heard
the American soldier saying, Im in a Tank Im in a tank, Im in a tank Im in a tank, Im
in a tank, Im in a tank One way to succeed at reaching our goals it to go forward w
ith the belief that we ourselves are fully capable of reaching that goal. Anothe
r way is to believe that we have the tools, the abilities that are needed to rea
ch that goal. A third way is to be so focused on our goals that we do not even c
onsider whether or not we can reach it. In this way we do not even acknowledge a
ny obstacles and therefore they are not given the life that they need in order t
o be obstacles in the first place. This is how many people who do not have any g
reat amount of belief in themselves reach their goals. The main thing that each
of the above ways of succeeding have in common is the fact that they are all mov
ing in the direction of their goal. So long as we move, the Universe will assist
us in getting anywhere that we need to go. That forward movement is in itself a
n act of believing whether or not we are aware of it.
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The Power Of One

We are all given the same keys to success at birth. There are, as many people wh
o were born wealthy who do not make anything of their lives in the world, as the
re are people who are born without money and do. What we need to achieve whateve
r it is that we want is not something that comes to us from the world it is what
we bring from ourselves out to the world. Everyone has a talent. Everyone has t
hat specific talent that is required to achieve whatever it is that they came he
re to achieve. Sometime we must know exactly what it is that we want in order to
find that talent that we have. Sometimes we have a talent that we do not know w
hat to do with. That may not even be the talent that is immediately connected wi
th our hearts desire. Yet once we connect with our hearts desire, we will find w
here our talents fit in. Success and failure are both part of a process, failure
is the means to success, but succeeding is something that does not end with rea
ching one goal. It is only after reaching one goal that we are able to see the n
ext one. Once we are in sight of our next goal we will fail and fail until we su
cceed. Again the process will begin. The fact is that we cannot succeed without
failing. Failure is actually nothing but practice. Failure is rehearsal. How wou
ld we ever learn to walk if we were afraid of falling? What would happen if we a
ccepted falling down the first time that we tried to walk as a failure? If that
were the case we would all be crawling failures. As children there was never any
doubt that in order to accomplish whatever it was that we wanted to do be it si
tting crawling walking or riding a bike we would have to fall. Falling was not a
n issue. And we did not stop and count how many times we fell, our eyes were on
our goal and we knew that we would reach it. The sense of failure is really a by
product of living in comparison to others or to the standards set by others. We
were taken from being the best that we could be to being better than someone els
e is. The thing that impresses me when I hear successful athletes speak is that
they usually say that they are not competing with others they are competing with
themselves. They seek to better their best. It is this going outside of ourselv
es, living in comparison to others that causes us to judge ourselves as failures
. Many people are afraid of failure so in order to avoid it they do not try. The
y do not realize that once we take the first step the possibilities before us ar
e endless, but if we do not take a step we will go nowhere. We do not have to kn
ow where we are going in order to get there. We are here to find our way. If we
do not exactly know our destination we can be certain that we wont end up on the
wrong place because anywhere we end up will be right. The only way to fail is to
quit. So long as we keep going the road will lead us to success. In actuality w
e are all in the process of succeeding. Some of us have a longer road than other
s have. If my goal is 10 miles away and I am competing with someone whose goal i
s 5 miles away, logic says that he will reach his goal before I will. Yet there
are two separate things going on here. If the object is to reach ones goal, the
winner is the one who reaches his goal. Therefore the only way to win is to keep
striving until the goal is reached. If the object is to beat someone else, ther
e is no winning because competition can never be fair. Someone will always have
an advantage and someone else will always have a disadvantage. There are no equa
l playing fields, yet the ultimate playing field is always equal. We can all rea
ch our goals. We can use competition to help push ourselves, to help keep oursel
ves motivated, but not to compare or judge our success or failure. Only clones c
an compete fairly because in essence they are competing with themselves. Living
in comparison is not living. If something makes you happy I cannot assume that i
t will make me happy. It does not mean that there is something wrong with me. If
your shoes are not comfortable on my feet it does not mean that there is someth
ing wrong with my feet.
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The Power Of One

We need to find within ourselves what makes us happy. We need to find within our
selves what it is that we want. Somehow, we need to start with our childhood and
filter out what others told us was right for us and seek deep inside for what w
e know feels right. The guarantee is that if we seek we shall find. If we intend
to find what our hearts desire is, it will be shown to us. Our task, our journe
y is to find our way to that hearts desire. We just have to accept the fact that
it is out there for us. We will reach it if we sincerely desire it. The greates
t guarantee of success is to find ones road and to travel it. We each have a roa
d and a destination, and each road leads to that destination. Success is promise
d to us. It is there, we just have to keep going and not give up. More than anyt
hing we must not compare ourselves to others. We should find hope in the success
es of others not lose ours because of them. The Universe gave us each exactly wh
at we need. All we have to do is use what we have and keep going.
Chapter 22
OUR HAVES
There is no mountain that we cannot climb so long as we can fix our eyes on the
peak
To truly believe something is to have innate knowledge. Belief is different than
fantasy; belief is connected with inner sight, the sight that sees the truth th
at our eyes do not see. We are only capable of believing that which is possible.
We all believe in fate. Even those people, who feel that they are totally in ch
arge of their lives, believe at some point that something happened in their live
s that had the feeling of Divine Intervention. There was at least some moment in
which fate played a part. Now it does not matter whether we believe that fate i
s the path defined by God, by the Universe or simply the path we ourselves deter
mined prior to coming here; fate still has a hand in determining the path that w
e walk. The Knowledge of this path is buried within each of us. The Maya, the ve
il of illusion, fools us into believing that these are merely our wants or desir
es or our wishes, when in fact these are truly our possibilities. Everyone longs
to fulfill his or her destiny. It is our needs, our wishes and our desires that
direct us towards that destiny. When we are able to visualize something or when
we are fueled with the passion for something to the point that such a passion c
onsumes us, this is not a desire. It is in fact a "Knowing". It is a piercing of
the veil of illusion to that which actually will be.
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The Power Of One

We cannot sustain a burning desire for that which we cannot actually achieve. If
in fact we are capable of truly visualizing a goal, it is not simply a goal; it
is the essence if not the actual vision of our destiny. The fact that it is rea
l and not just imaginary is the only reason that we are actually capable of visu
alizing it. The next step is believing. Whatever we believe will be will be. It
is our beliefs that work to manifest our reality. We can not truly hold on to a
belief that cannot be realized. We may hold a vision for short period of time bu
t we cannot maintain it unless it is real. Therefore if we can really believe so
mething to be true, if we can really believe that we can attain a certain goal,
this is only because we will attain it, or at least it is within our capabilitie
s to attain it. Let s say that we all come into this incarnation with what I cal
l a "Bag of Haves" . These are the things that are within us to do, to accompli
sh, or to obtain. These things are a part of our destiny. The knowledge of these
things is shown to us by having the dreams, wishes and desires which represent
them. We would take no notice or at least we would not be able to retain any des
ire for these same objects, positions, or relationships if they were not within
our ability to have. Many times we are obsessed with getting to one point and on
ce there we feel as though it isn t where we want to be at all. This wasn t a mi
stake; it was a step that we had to reach on the road to our ultimate destiny. T
he lessons come in each step of the process and sometimes the lessons are meant
to make us feel lost, or out of step because within that experience is the key t
o the next door, or the clue to our next step. Some people spend their entire li
ves feeling lost and out of place, even that would mean that within those feelin
gs are the lessons to be learned in this lifetime. What is important to remember
is that we are always going to have what we came here to have. We always have w
hat we really need, it may be just a matter of time and experience until we rece
ive it. No matter what specific lessons we are here to learn, we are also learni
ng faith. Faith is something that would not be required if we had conscious know
ledge of what was ours, and who we were. Faith is a part of love. When we are ch
ildren we trust that we are loved. We have faith in the things that our parents
tell us. When we have faith we can love because we know that we are loved. So we
are always learning to believe and to trust There was a time when in order to g
et a donkey to move they would attach a carrot to a stick and put that stick on
the donkeys head. The donkey kept going in order to reach the carrot, which he ne
ver reached because it was always in front of him, but he always had it because
it was attached to his head. He goes around chasing the carrot because he can se
e it, but actually the reason that he can visualize the carrot is because he rea
lly has it. He cannot reach the carrot because he does not believe it, if he bel
ieved it, he would find a way to get it off of his head, instead of chasing it.
Faith and trust are steps in removing the carrot from the head and placing it in
the hand. It is our carrot, it is on our heads. We simply see the carrot as wha
t we want, what we wish for and desire. When we have faith and belief, we realiz
e that the carrot is ours and we stop following it and just take it. But if it w
ere not attached to our heads, if it were not in front of our eyes, in other wor
ds within our "bag of haves", we could not think to desire or want it. So it is
helpful to say that if we can visualize what we want and believe it, then it is
truly already ours, it is in fact attached to our heads; now it is just a matter
of getting to it. When we are capable of visualizing a thing, a goal, or a rela
tionship so totally that we can feel it and believe it, that is not the work of
our imagination, it is simply piercing the veil into the truth of what is really
ours. When we are taught that the appropriate prayer for receiving what we want
is a prayer of thanks for having it already, it is truly appropriate. The reaso
n being that we do actually have it already.
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Understanding this does not change the fact that it is in front of us and not in
our hands, we still must do the work of reaching for it whatever that may entai
l. The difference is that if we know that it is actually ours and there is a way
that it can be reached, we can remove our confusion, and our doubt, and simply
focus on getting there. This still requires faith. If I know that the thing that
I desire is behind one of the doors before me, I will get it. We are here to le
arn lessons, to grow, to perfect our souls. This is done through our experiences
here on earth. We all have our own destiny, our own path along which lies our p
ersonal lessons and our "haves". In order to reach each of our "haves" we must p
ass through different lessons, and in order to hold onto our "haves" we must aga
in go through lesson. An infant has a burning desire, an obsession to raise its
head. It is not really a goal from our point of view; it is a step toward standi
ng and walking. It is simply a step in the development of a human being, however
to that infant it is the end product. That infant cannot focus on anything else
until it reaches that goal. Then it moves to the goal of turning over. Well we
do not spend our entire lives rolling over, even though while striving for that
goal to the infant it is complete in itself. This is also how it works with our
"haves". The stronger the desire that we have, the more we are connected to that
"innate knowing". There really is no such thing as a desire, that is the veil t
hat covers our destiny. We cannot desire what is not ours, just as the donkey co
uld not desire the carrot if it were not visible in front of it s face twenty fo
ur hours a day. Now I am not referring to the desire that comes from envy, from
wanting what someone else has. When in fact that is not a desire for the thing i
n itself it is a desire for the feeling that the other person exhibits from havi
ng whatever it is. If I know that what I want is definitely in front of me; it i
s definitely behind one of the doors that I face, I must still find that door an
d face what ever challenges lie before me. The difference is that I will reach i
t because I know that it will be there whenever and however I get there, and mos
t of all that I will get there. When we are clear and able to focus on the journ
ey and the process and not confused by doubt or fear we are able to listen and a
ccept the guidance that is constantly given to us on our path to attainment. We
can learn our lessons as we travel because we are awake to our journey and not l
ost in fear. It is important to understand that the lesson, is the process and t
he process contains the journey, the journeyer and the destination.
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Chapter 23
MAKING PEACE WITH OURSELVES
To make peace with oneself is to bring together all of the fragments of our live
s and ourselves into one joyous whole.
We are constantly evolving through time, experiences and through the people that
we meet. I often look back and wonder how I could have done some of the things
that I did. The answer is that I, the person that I am here and now with the inf
ormation and experiences that I have now could not have done those things. Howev
er the person that I was in each situation, was working with different informati
on and coming from different experience that I have now. In fact for all intents
and purposes at each point when one of those decisions was made it was a differ
ent person. Many of the situations in my life, many of the things in my life tha
t I consider to be problems today are the result of the actions of the person th
at I was at each of those times. Deep inside I am condemning each of those aspec
ts of myself and in that condemnation I am disowning those aspects of myself bec
ause they put me into the positions I am still working my way out of, and they m
ade the choices that I must pay for. However while I disown those aspects of mys
elf I also lose the good things that were done and the benefits that I have rece
ived from those choices. These different aspects of ourselves are alive and well
within us. Each of them carries the burden of a choice made and the pain that I
suffered as a result of that choice; yet each self is alone in that past and un
able to see into the present. It is unable to heal itself. Certainly it does not
know the wiser and stronger us that was born from it. We cannot complete our he
aling process by dealing only with the child within. We must also deal with each
one of our selves that we left at each of the critical points of our lives that
caused us pain and altered the direction of our lives. Immediately before writi
ng this book I went into a great depression. Each time I cried, the tears seemed
to come from somewhere so deep I could not find the bottom. Resolving the issue
s that seemed to trigger my pain did not remove my pain. I thought that I must h
ave deeper issues but what I found was not the issues, but the shadows of myself
that were trapped within each issue. I did not heal and release myself, what I
had done was merely walk away from that self and left her with the issues and th
e pain. I needed to go back as my therapist, as my mother and as my friend and c
omplete each issue with that part of myself and bring that part to the present w
ith me. We need to go back and revisit each of those corners in our lives that t
urned us in a different direction and meet the self that is still there. At each
one of those junctures there is one of our selves standing there saying I am sor
ry, or I am lost, but mostly it is saying I am here and you are there, please take m
e in but no one is listening. It would benefit each of us to make a list of all o
f those turning points in our lives, all of those decisions that lead us in a di
rection not originally planned. We need to accept those decisions that seemed at
the time to be mistakes; making peace with the aspect or these aspects of ourse
lves that is waiting there to move on. We need to go back to those places and ta
lk with ourselves, understand that everything that we had to work with at the ti
me lead us in a very appropriate direction. The choices made at those moments we
re the only choices that fit who and where we were. Those choices that redirect
our lives are always made with
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the best of intentions. We need to make peace with each of those aspects of ours
elves and welcome him or her into our hearts. When we repeatedly find ourselves
in the same situation, just with different characters, feeling the same pain the
re is an aspect of ourselves still seeking to heal its wound. This part of us is
trying to find its way home by righting the wrong that it feels that it committ
ed. Yet it cannot change the ending because it has not grown beyond it. So each
time the situation is repeated, so is its conclusion. After each experience we c
annot understand how we could have done the same thing once again. In fact we di
d not repeat it; it was that aspect of ourselves that was left in the first expe
rience that is repeatedly drawing this experience to us over and over again. Yet
that part of us cannot get to a different ending because it does not know one.
When we move on without forgiving and healing we leave part of ourselves with an
open wound. We do not feel it anymore because we detached from the part of ours
elves that carries the wound. That part of ourselves longs to feel whole and the
only way that it know how to do this is to get it right. So it continually sets
itself up to do this. Of course we can never see what is not visible no matter
how many times we try, and we can never find what is not there no matter how oft
en we look. So it does not matter how many times we repeat the experience, it wi
ll always turn out the same. In fact, it is not the situation that caused the wo
und in the first place, it is how we judged ourselves and blamed ourselves and r
ejected ourselves that caused the wound. Each time that we repeat the experience
since we cannot fix it we just continue to dig the wound deeper and deeper beca
use now we were not just stupid once we were stupid 20 times. Now we need to let
each part of ourselves come out of the shadow of error and understand that thin
gs unfold just the way they are supposed to. There is no way to make a wrong sit
uation right, it was not who we were at the time that was wrong it was the situa
tion that was wrong. Often there was nothing that was wrong at all it was just f
inished. No matter what the immediate outcome there were many benefits that came
from each choice, however painful the initial result was. The problem is that e
ach aspect of ourselves; never moves into the light of the present in order to s
ee what good came out of it. It is still mourning the pain that it caused. We ne
ed to go back to each of those moments, and release ourselves from guilt, not re
sponsibility, but guilt. We are responsible but not guilty, for we did in each i
nstance what we felt was appropriate. For our journey, it was. Write a letter to
as though we were writing to someone else. Explain to that part of ourselves th
at we understand each decision and the reason it was made. Then go on to explain
and describe all of the beautiful things that came into our lives; the people t
hat we have met, the experiences and growth that has helped us all from that dec
ision. Welcome him or her along with those decisions into our hearts, into our l
ives. The truth is that all of the choices that we make that are life changing a
re not made by us alone. Usually the choice is part of a path that we must take
to get to a place that at that time we do not know that we need to go. So at the
time that the decision is made, our Guides purposely shield us from seeing anyt
hing that would direct us to make a different choice. We all are learning now th
at there is no such thing as an accident. If that is the case there is no such t
hing as a mistake. Each critical decision in our lives is made with the help of
the Universe. We are given as little or as much information that we need at a gi
ven time to make a decision that helps further us along on the path that we are
to take. The problem is that the part of us that was responsible for the decisio
n does not understand the value of the decision made. That part of us is living
within in regret and guilt only aware of the immediate
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pain that the decision caused. Making peace with each aspect of ourselves that g
uided us to where we are today will help bring total peace to our being.
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Chapter 24
OUR BODIES
We should not love our bodies because of how they look, or feel. We should love
our bodies as our companions on this journey into the physical.
I imagine that it is important to begin with the body, since it is what keeps us
separate and is our vehicle for learning on this earth. I had a very hard time
with the idea of looking in the mirror and telling my body that I loved it. It t
ook me a long time to understand that concept, because I did not love my body. I
did not like the size of my body. I did not like the shape of it and for a very
long time I did not like its color. I could stand in front of a mirror and repea
t the words I love you to my body and never believe it.
What we have to understand in order to come to love our bodies is their purpose.
We chose these bodies. There is not one thing, not the size, shape, color, or e
ven functioning of this body that was not chosen carefully in order to help us f
ulfill our lessons on this earth. For this, for its work, for its functioning we
should love it. We should love our bodies unconditionally because through the w
isdom of God and of our Higher Self, this body was carefully created to suit our
needs. We dont appreciate our bodies because we dont listen to them. We do not ut
ilize the many gifts that they offer and even when we do we just take them for g
ranted. We dont hear what they have to teach us. When one is overweight, the body
has functioned as a shelter to hide in, it has helped us by allowing us to enjo
y and feel nurtured by food while that is what we feel we need. It gives us the
beautiful sensations that we feel when we are touched, it allows us to smell thi
ngs that make us feel good, and smell things that protect us from harm. Everythi
ng that is the body is for us. Sometimes we are born to look a certain way in or
der to fit into our families. Sometimes we are born to stick out. There is a rea
son for all of this; it is all part of our lesson. Nothing is by chance. A physi
cal disability is a choice made for some lesson or some karma that we chose to d
eal with in this lifetime. When we are told to love our bodies, we go directly t
o esthetics. That is not what we are to love. We are to love our bodies as ourse
lves. We are to love our bodies as our friends, our teachers, and our guides on
this earth. There are many people who have old dilapidated cars that they seem t
o love as though they were family. They love every nick, every dent; each one ha
s a story has a memory. They may just love it because it gets them where they ne
ed to go and never fails. This is how we should love our bodies. It is important
to listen to our bodies, take time with our bodies to hear their stories. Write
down what they have done for us. What lessons we have had to learn because of o
ur bodies. What important things in our lives have happened because of our bodie
s. My body has a habit of breaking down and putting me in the hospital. I had to
give up a business that was very successful because it just would not keep goin
g. I hated it. I became so sick that I was given only a couple years to live. Th
en I realized that my body did that for me. It forced me to take time to learn a
nd to grow within, to connect with God with my family, with my life. My body too
k away my business but it gave me my life. I always felt that the world would st
op if I did not carry it. My body made me stop so that I could learn that the wo
rld would go on with me or without me. That was only one of the many lessons tha
t my body has given me. Our bodies cooperate with every lesson that we must lear
n. It is their duty to us. They
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are our companions through life. I am no more my body than I am your body, but m
y body will be with me as long as I am on this earth. Our bodies love our souls.
Our souls love our bodies as well, they work together. Our bodies are part of M
other Earth. They are Her gift to us. We have to love our bodies not for what th
ey look like or what they do, but because they are our bodies. If our bodies are
fat, they are fat because we need that fat. When we longer need to be fat, it w
ill adjust and become slim.
We have even found now that the body can answer questions through muscle testing
, and it does not lie. If we study the Bach flower remedies we will find that th
ere is a remedy for every part of the body and emotional issues are stored withi
n it. If we have pain in a certain part of our bodies we can look up that part o
f the body and find what issue we have placed there. As we enter the Age of Aqua
rius we will learn more and more about how there is no separation in cause or in
cure. Spirit, emotion and body are all joined in one cause and that cause is ou
r growth and realization that all is one.
When we look in the mirror and tell our bodies that we love them it is not the c
onditional esthetic love, it is not the love of our shape or how we handle putti
ng on weight, it is unconditional love. When my son was born and I held him in m
y arms I must say that I cannot remember seeing anything so ugly. There was this
second (and I mean only a second) when an image passed before me of walking dow
n the street with this little troll, and people looking at me with pity. Then al
l of a sudden the unconditional love of a mother took over and I held the most b
eautiful creature God ever put on this earth. I took him home and dressed him up
and took a million pictures to send to modeling agencies. My family and friends
, of course, thought that I was crazy but they humored me. They did not tell me
the things that were going on in their minds every time I mentioned modeling. No
w I look back at the pictures of my son as an infant and I realize that my love,
my sight was truly unconditional. This is the kind of love we must learn to hav
e for our bodies. We must love them for what they have meant and will mean to ou
r journey here. We have no lover, no companion, and no friend on this journey th
at is closer to us than our bodies; no one that is more in tune to our every nee
d and for that we need to give our bodies unconditional love. We need to appreci
ate them each time we look in the mirror for joining us so lovingly on our journ
ey.
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Chapter 25
ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR LIVES
To be responsible is not simply to accept burdens, more than anything else it is
to accept power.
When I was a child my father taught me how to play Gin Rummy. We would play for
hours and most of the time that we played I would win. One day I was feeling ver
y full of myself as a great card shark and I decided to play with money. My fath
er tried to talk me out of it, but I insisted. I bet my entire allowance and in
about five minutes my father won. Now the game was over and he had won, so now I
believed that he should give me my money back. My father refused. I cried, I be
gged, I sulked, I even tried to borrow the exact amount, but he absolutely refus
ed. I could not believe that my father could actually love me and not give me ba
ck my money. I decided that he did not really love me. I believed that if he lov
ed me he would give me anything that I wanted. This was what I really felt. It t
ook a long time for me to understand that my fathers love had nothing to do with
my responsibility for my own actions. After many months, perhaps even years, I
finally understood what he gave me. I could never again act in any way or say an
y words that I was not prepared to be responsible for the outcome of. I realized
that my father would never make idol threats, if I wanted to do something that
I should not, he would tell me the punishment that I would receive if I did it.
He was no longer attached to my choice, and when I ultimately did what I wanted
to do anyway, he was not attached to the punishment. I am now grateful for this
lesson. The one good thing about this lesson is that it is never too late to lea
rn, and never too late to teach to your children. It only takes one time, which
was all it took for me. I may have pushed the envelope many times after that, bu
t the difference was that I was responsible and prepared for whatever the outcom
e was to be. I was in my power. Why are people unhappy? This is not the kind of
happiness that comes from things outside; its a kind of happiness that cannot be
altered by the happenings of life, the ups and downs. In fact it is more than th
at it is a place within each of us where we can get help when life gets us down.
We choose the lessons we will learn. We have to accept responsibility for the c
hoices we made before we came here as well as the choices that we make while we
are here. We did not choose to suffer, we chose to learn we chose the areas of g
rowth we would work on in this lifetime. This was how we determined our moment o
f birth; we set up that moment so the energies of the planets would bring to us
situations that would cause our growth in the needed areas. If and when we learn
the lessons the situations immediately cease to present themselves and rewards
actually appear. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others or where we shoul
d be in our lives at this point, because we are where we should be. When we comp
are ourselves to others we are no longer responsible for where we are and where
we can be Taking responsibility automatically puts us in the present. It puts us
in a situation in which we have choices to make. As soon as we acknowledge that
we have choices, we will realize that we have power.
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Some people prefer to be miserable, they prefer to be a victim. These people are
constantly seeking and rejecting answers. Everything that goes wrong in their l
ives is the responsibility of someone or something other than themselves, and no
amount of facts will convince them otherwise. The wrong people find them; they
don t find the wrong people. They remember the harsh things said to them but not
what they might have said to provoke harsh words from others. If they are ever
wrong, it is because they were provoked, tricked, or in some way forced to do wh
atever they were being held responsible for doing wrong. If there is any good in
their lives they find someone to compare it with who has it better. They do not
compromise, because if it is all or nothing there is a much better chance of ge
tting nothing. These same people tend to be luckier than most, they tend to be t
aken care of although they don t notice it. These people probably live the most
tortured lives because they have to keep validating their misery. The problem li
es in a feeling of powerlessness, a feeling of being less capable. The catch is
that when we are not responsible we are not in our power, we hand our power over
to those people or experiences that we consider to be responsible. One way to f
ind out if this is you is to ask yourself honestly, whatever difficult situation
you are in, are you in any way responsible for it? If you search your mind and
heart, can you honestly find at least one situation that went wrong to which you
in some way contributed to? If the answer is yes, there have been situations in
which you have been in at least in some way responsible this is not your issue.
This is all perception. If you perceive yourself as not responsible, as helples
s then the positive side is that you are off of the hook, you didn t make a mist
ake, fail, etc., the negative side is you are helpless, a victim of an unsafe wo
rld. Being responsible Has nothing to do with blaming ourselves because being re
sponsible has nothing to do with blame. What matters is that wherever we are, if
we are responsible for being there we can get ourselves out. Lets look at an ex
ample, you have a good job, never been late, and never been sick. One day you wa
lk into the office and the boss s lover is sitting at your desk and you re out o
f a job. Well that is a classic case of victimization if ever one existed right?
Perhaps, it really depends on ones perspective. This could be an example of how
nothing you do works out, so it is a good reason to go get drunk, or lock yours
elf in your room. You can this to the list of wrongs done to you. Or you could t
ell yourself that youre lucky that you got away from a losing situation. Perhaps
you might perceive it as a sign from the Universe to go on your own, or that it
is just a sign to move on. Part of living a successful life is taking responsibi
lity for our actions. Now most people are aware of what it means to be responsib
le for the outcome of our actions. However, taking responsibility for the outcom
e is unrealistic. When we take responsible for a child or a valuable piece of je
welry or anything left in our keeping this is in a moment. It is not something t
hat we do twenty-four hours a day. However when we accept responsibility for our
actions we are taking responsibility for everything except the outcome and we a
re taking that responsibility in every moment that we are alive. It is being res
ponsible for each thought, each movement each word that we say. We cannot contro
l the outcome of anything. I may drink and drive and have an accident or not. I
am responsible for the drinking. I am neither responsible for the fact that I ha
ve an accident nor am I responsible if I do not have one. To be responsible is t
o be present and aware in each action that we take in each thought that we have.
This is to be in each now of our lives. There is a part of our brain that works
automatically. It regulates our body, it breathes, it pumps blood to our organs
it does not take our presence or our awareness in order to function.
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When we are toddlers and we begin to walk we are present. Each step is an effort
it takes mindfulness. After we walk long enough it becomes automatic. I watch m
y son focus and strain while he tries to put his socks on. One day he will not e
ven notice that he is doing it, it will become automatic. Even when we drive to
a certain destination enough times it too becomes automatic, as though the car j
ust knows where to turn. How often do we bump into a piece of furniture and say,
excuse me? When our living, becomes automatic we cannot be responsible, we are sl
eep walking. We are not present when we are functioning on automatic. Many times
the loss of passion in our relationships and even the loss of growth in our rel
ationships comes simply from our sending the functioning of the relationship to
automatic. Where once we experienced each word and movement of our lover and wer
e present within the relationship now the relationship becomes automatic. The re
lationship becomes part of our unseen unfelt automatic world. So we cannot find
where we went wrong because we were not really there. We need to relegate the fu
nctioning of our bodies to the automatic brain and the functioning of our lives
to our active self. When we meditate we are taught to focus on our breathing bec
ause that connects us with the present. That connection is the key. When we are
connected with our present, with our actions we are then finally responsible. Wh
en we are truly responsible we are again empowered and in control. It may take w
ork and time to disengage our lives from automatic. Yet once this is done we are
finally connected with our lives, our loves, our souls and our God. When we are
awake we can hear sounds that the sleeping cannot hear and feel things that the
numb cannot feel. When we are awake nothing gets past us or slips through the c
racks. When we say something it has value because it is not just an automatic re
sponse. When we are awake we awaken those around us, merely by our presence. Our
lives do not just happen, we dont wonder where the day went. We are aware that w
e have lived it. Each moment is fuller because we are aware of all the wonders w
ithin it. In a relationship we feel all the things that we felt in the beginning
because each moment is a beginning when we are alive. Life becomes awe inspirin
g because we are in it. We feel empowered in the knowledge that we are responsib
le for our lives.
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Chapter 26
THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMITMENT
Commitment creates focus, and focus is a laser beam that can remove any obstacle
from your path.
When I was in my mid-twenties I noticed that all of my friends who where working
were advancing towards their independence at a much faster rate than I was. I h
ad always worked, but I was constantly changing jobs. I felt each time that eith
er I was at a dead end or I just began to feel suffocated. I had a child to supp
ort and I wanted to be able to take care of her and also have some money to do t
hings for myself. So it came to me, (now I know that I was told by a guide) that
perhaps the thing that held me back was the fact that I did not stay at any job
, or anything long enough to advance. I made a commitment to myself at that poin
t that the next job that I found I would remain in no matter how often I wanted
to quit. I would just stay. I would see it though the rough times and make a com
mitment. The next job that I found was a temporary job, but they asked me to sta
y. I stayed and learned, and no matter how many times I felt the need to quit, I
stayed. Eventually my boss and I became such a successful team that we went int
o our own business and succeeded. I know now, although I was not aware of it at
the time, that the reason for my success was my commitment. I did not have a fix
ed destination; I did finally make a commitment to the journey. When I succeeded
in being committed, my reward was monetary success. There are many lessons each
day and at each step, my lesson was to stay. For me staying in one place was a
very difficult lesson. There were times that I would become frustrated, but that
was my test. My goal was to just stay committed. When things seem the hardest a
nd the darkest we are just being tested to see whether we are ready for the ligh
t. There are many side benefits to being committed. It requires being aware; it
requires that one be awake and present because it is something that we do in eac
h moment. When we are aware, and actively participating in what is going on in t
he moment, we are open to signs and messages from the Universe. These are things
that we would not notice if we were living ahead or behind. When we are committ
ed we are focused on our journey and when we focus on the journey we are automat
ically in the now, because the journey is in each step. As soon as we begin to s
tay in the now, we hear and see things that we would not have otherwise noticed.
We are able to receive guidance that would not have been available to us were w
e focused upon the future. It is like when we are deeply focused upon a televisi
on program and someone starts talking to us, we are aware of the sound, but it i
s as though they are talking through a pillow, because our focus is so concentra
ted somewhere else. We hear them but are unable to listen and interpret what the
y are saying. However, when we are focused in the present, we hear what is said
to us, and do not miss anything because this point is where our attention is. Ag
ain, life is a treasure hunt and in each moment, perhaps right in front of us or
even under our feet, there is a clue that will guide us towards reaching the tr
easure. If we are not paying attention, we will miss it and it will take us that
much longer to get there. It is not that we will not reach the treasure; it wil
l just take us that much longer if we only notice one out of every six clues. Th
e best place to hide something is right in front of someones face, because no one
would ever think of looking there. Why do things come to us the moment that we
stop looking? This is not some brilliant
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formula. It is when we stop looking that we are able to see. We need not to comm
it to the outcome because all outcomes are ultimately in Gods Hands. We need to
commit to the work, to commit to the journey and with commitment comes focus, wh
en we commit to something we place all of our energy in that direction and that
focus is power. Even if we are in the wrong place, if we are committed to the jo
urney the road will open up and take us in the right direction. When the wall in
front of me seems too high or the road to dark I think of a pickle jar. It neve
r fails that when I try to get the top of a pickle jar off I seem to use every o
unce of energy to turn it and cannot. When I give it to anyone, even my little d
aughter, it just seems to open with no effort. It is not about strength at that
point; I just took it all the way and gave up. From that point it only took a li
ttle turn, not even any strength. So when we are about to hand over the pickle j
ar because we are sure we cannot go on, just step back, and take a few deep brea
ths, and open it.
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Chapter 27
NARROWING OUR FOCUS
We usually do not ask the Universe for what we really want. We ask for what we t
hink it looks like, so when we get what we ask for, we are disappointed.
Once we have made a commitment we have focused our energies. That focus creates
a clear direction that the Universe will be able to interpret and then help guid
e us towards. It takes focus to bring clarity. Once our desires are focused it i
s clear, once it is clear it is understood and immediately the Universe begins t
o work to bring whatever it is that we want to us. It takes the understanding th
at what we want is not always where we think it should be. It may not even be wh
ere we want it to be. We think and plan in terms of physical things. The Univers
e does not interpret things in that manner. What I may say is that I want that p
articular job. The reason that I want that job is because I think that it will b
ring me a feeling that I really want. It is not the job; the job is only the for
m that I think my desires will take. This is really important to understand. The
Universe may not bring me that particular job, because in actuality that job wa
s not going to give me what I was really looking for. It is that underlying need
, that underlying feeling that Universe will bring me. So we need to focus not m
erely on the outer form of what we want but primarily on what it is that we want
it to give us. Do we want to feel secure, or is it the sense of achievement tha
t we desire? What does our soul receive from whatever it is that we going after?
When we see ourselves with whatever it is that we are going after, how does it
feel? More likely than not what we actually want is that feeling not the object
or experience that we think will give it to us. We may go after the physical for
m of something but there is really the essence that we perceive is contained wit
hin that form that we are after. I may think that I want John, but in fact I wan
t what I imagine I will feel being with John. The fact may very well be that wha
t I think I will feel from John is not in any way what I would actually feel fro
m him. He may not be who I think he is. However if I focus on what it is that I
want to feel it is that feeling that I will be directed to. When I am clear on w
hat qualities I am seeking in a mate, even if I am hoping it is John, it will be
those qualities that the Universe will bring to me. If I do not get John that d
oes not mean that I will not get what I am seeking, it only means that what I am
seeking is not John. To work with the Universe is to focus on the essence, to f
ocus on the quality of what it is that we want. We may have an idea of the form
that we imagine it will come in, but we need to leave the actual form up to the
Universe. We need to trust that we will get what we really want. We will get the
enduring quality that our soul is seeking. This is a lesson that may take us fo
rever to learn. Very often the Universe will give us exactly what we ask for, an
d often when that happens we are disappointed because it is never what we though
t it would be. What we do not realize is that the Universe may have presented us
with exactly what we really wanted many times but we did not know it because it
did not come in the box that we expected it to be. So each time it appeared bef
ore us we simply passed it by without noticing. So often the Universe will give
us exactly what we ask for so that at some point we will begin to realize that p
erhaps it is not what we are getting that is the problem but what we are asking
for.
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We may be so caught in what we expect our desires to look like that we forget wh
at we need them to actually be. Finally we learn that perhaps we need to look de
eper to find what we really want and rephrase the request. It is valuable to go
inside and dig beneath all of the layers and the superficial packaging that we h
ave been programmed to look for. We need to find the feeling we are seeking. Wha
t is the quality that we need from the experience? Once we know what we need to
feel, we will be able to focus clearly upon what we want. When we can focus, we
will find that we do get exactly what we want. We need to acknowledge that we ca
n only see a small part and only God sees the whole picture. We can be very cert
ain and focused upon what it is that we want, but we have to let go and accept t
hat only God knows which box it is in.
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Chapter 28
AVOIDING LIFE
Nothing that we avoid ever goes away, we will spend our lives avoiding it, and t
hat will be how we live. If we dont want to avoid something for the rest of our l
ives, we need to deal with it once.
Many people once they have been hurt, begin to withdraw their feelings from each
subsequent encounter in order to avoid being hurt again. Each time that they ar
e hurt, they cut off more and more of themselves from being vulnerable to feelin
g. As time goes on they give less and less of themselves to life and to their re
lationships. Those parts of themselves that they have pulled away are stored in
a void, a place of emptiness. Feelings are the food that the soul exists upon, j
oy as well as pain. When we hide our souls from experience, what we are doing is
starving it. Sooner or later the pain that we are avoiding pales in contrast to
the emptiness that we are feeling. It is the avoidance that causes us our pain.
We walk around knowing that for some reason we are unable to experience joy, bu
t we do not understand why. When we avoid feeling we not only lock away our soul
s, but we have forget where they are, or how to release them. Even when we enter
a relationship, we do not bring our souls with us. The other person involved fe
els that nothing is being shared. We demand more and more from them in order to
feel safe, instead we drain our partners until they pull away. So we still get h
urt because although we are unable to give of ourselves we are still looking to
receive. We believe that if we do not open ourselves we will not be exposed. We
think that we are loving, but we are not letting anyone in. Our partner sees tha
t we appear to be loving but the feeling of closeness does not is not there. Thi
s is because we do not let anyone in. No sooner do we feel love then we pull ins
ide, we retreat. Love when true comes from a place that is open, a place that is
vulnerable. This is the place that we do not let anyone or any feelings near. L
ove cannot flow in if we are not open. So our emptiness just keeps on growing an
d since we are giving nothing, we are getting nothing. It is only need than can
flow from emptiness. Although need feels like love to those that it is coming fr
om, it only feels like a drain to those that it is flowing to. So we try not to
expose ourselves. Yet there seems always to be enough exposed to get hurt, just
not enough to bring joy because joy comes to us when we are open. There is no wa
y to avoid being hurt as long as we live. When we refuse to open ourselves for f
ear of more hurt, we are also locking the hurt that we have already experienced
inside. This hurt is locked in the darkness and any emotion in darkness grows. S
o we are not protecting ourselves only hurting ourselves. Pain can only be heale
d by love and forgiveness. As long as we live we will be trapped with our pain i
nside and the cure outside. There is not avoiding this. We can avoid loving but
we cannot avoid living. Life does not allow us to hide; it finds us wherever we
are. It is imperative that we experience life with every fiber of our being. We
must embrace every chance that we are given to feel. What we can do is not place
any expectations on life, or on love. Each time something comes into our lives
that has the ability to bring us an emotional experience we must embrace it. How
ever, we cannot hold on to it. Allow the experience to be lived for the moment w
ithout strings attached to it or expectations of tomorrow. If it is still there
and it is still good tomorrow, we should experience it all over again. If it is
not there anymore we cannot think in terms of what we lost, only in terms of wha
t we had. I have been loved, I have been left, and I have lost and found again.
Yet my life would not be as rich as it is has been had I not been open to the po
ssibilities of being hurt as well as being loved.
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We are here to experience. As long as we live we will experience all sides of al
l things. To every thing there is a season under Heaven. While we are here we ar
e to experience all of the seasons in our lives. These experiences are what livi
ng is all about. Each person, each situation that comes into our lives is a gift
as well as a lesson. Who we are today is the sum total of these gifts and lesso
ns. These experiences make up our colors. Yet what we must understand at all tim
es is that it is all experience, and all part of our journey. I am who I am, tha
t I am, no matter how someone else experiences me. If I make a mistake, I experi
ence that mistake, I never become that mistake and I must never be afraid to sta
rt again because we are made as much from the times that we fall as from the tim
es that we get up. We all need love, and to avoid it because we are afraid of ge
tting hurt is sentencing ourselves to a lifetime of pain. We must immerse oursel
ves in each experience, but detach ourselves from the outcome. It does not matte
r whether or not something will last, we must be grateful that it is here now. W
e dont even know how long we will want to stay. What matters is that something is
giving our lives extra color and extra meaning today. It does not matter if we
try something and fail; it matters that we tried. We will always be rewarded for
our efforts, perhaps not in the way that we expect, and perhaps not even within
the time period that we expect it, however we will be rewarded. We are co-creat
ors with the Universe by design, not by choice. If we do our part, the Universe
will do its part. If we do nothing the Universe will do nothing except push us t
o do something. We will receive in equal proportion to what we give, if we give
nothing we will get nothing. Even if superficially we receive something it will
be of no value to us. When we give from our hearts, what ever we receive will co
ntain joy. Remember that no matter what happens to us in our lives, no matter wh
at we experience, we will always remain separate from it. For example, when some
one succeeds they may be called a success by the world, but they do not become a
success. We are always in the process of succeeding sometimes we are on the top
and sometimes we are on the bottom, but as long as we keep moving we are succee
ding. Therefore if one fails, they do not become a failure, for most every perso
n who has succeeded has also failed. Yet we immediately identify ourselves with
outcome of each experience. We see ourselves and many times each other not as wh
o we really are but at the product of our last experience. So long as we do this
we withdraw from life for fear of being a failure of losing our success or losi
ng a love. I lose almost everything that I put my hands on, that does not make m
e a loser, it simply means that I have a tendency to lose things. I dont stop try
ing, there is always the next time. We are here to live our lives we can never b
e our lives. We are nouns, our actions are verbs and never will one be another.
Being hurt is one of the most important parts of living. That is how we learn ou
r lessons, this is how we expand and evolve on our journey. No matter what anyon
e does to me, it cannot last my entire lifetime. I must experience the pain and
by experiencing it I will grow, but why move in to it? So many people make pain
a permanent residence, believing that if they move in to it will mean that it ca
nnot throw them off again. So we live in our pain and hide from our hope. Everyo
ne would agree that this makes no sense.
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It is important that we process our emotions our joy and our sorrow, and in orde
r to process them we must experience each one, as part of the flow open at all t
imes to more experiences hoping for the joy but embracing the pain as well. The
universe knows exactly what we need and where we need to be. In the end, to have
lived a good life is to have lived a full life. The Universe knows exactly what
we can handle, but that is something that we do not know. It makes no sense to
live here and not live passionately. What we should not do is enter into a situa
tion already focused on the outcome. Not only do situations change, but so do we
. What we think we want right now may have no place in our lives in 10 years or
even 10 minutes. We are growing each moment of our lives. The greater the pain t
he greater the joy that we will be open to experience. We cannot deny the season
s of life, or the seasons of our emotions. We are the creators of our own happin
ess. It is a state of mind, and as a state of mind it is within our own control
to think in a manner that is positive and joyful. This does not mean that we hav
e to walk around as a fool, oblivious to what is going on around us. It means th
at we should walk around like the Fool of the Tarot deck who is totally aware of
all of the things that happen around him, yet has the faith that all happens fo
r a reason and that reason is good. Live life constructively. Act in a way that
is productive. If someone steals something from me I would not rejoice, but ruin
ing my day with anger and depression will not get back that thing that was stole
n, why should I do that to myself. What I need to do is to understand that I mus
t be more careful in the future. However sometimes there are things that just ca
nnot be avoided. Know that, acknowledge it and then let go. To be unhappy is to
create dis-ease that will at some point affects our health and cause us to fall
into the role of victim.
We cannot control how things will turn out, but we can control how the outcome w
ill affect us. We are here for a very short time, to avoid anything, any moment
or any experience is something that in the end we would regret.
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Chapter 29
LOVING FULLY
If everyone simply loved someone unconditionally then everyone would be uncondit
ionally loved.
We may live our lives in order to adapt to loves requirements, but we will never
adapt love to ours. It will ask us to bend and twist in ways that may hurt, in
order to make us more able to receive its joy. It may even break us to put us ba
ck together more perfectly. It does not require that we accept its terms, becaus
e it is perfect and complete. Love sustains Love. If it offers itself to us we m
ust not make demands of it; we must accept its demands. Love knows that it is th
e greatest gift. We must be worthy of it. Love must be free to flow. Love will n
ot attach. Love will remain so long as we do not try to hold it. Love does not n
eed us, it has a secret. It can take from us what it chooses. When we promise to
give allow love to flow unconditionally and serve nurture it with all of our he
arts, asking and expecting nothing in return, we will live in loves secret. That
secret is that love only flows from within. Love takes from us all that we want
from it. Love gives to us all that we give to it. If we expect love to make us
happy, it will take our happiness. If we expect nothing but to make love happy,
it will make us happier than we could ever dream. If we want to be loved by one
person, we must love all people. When we do this we will receive from one person
the love as great as that of all people. To be loved we must truly open our hea
rts. For only an open heart can receive love. To find love we must never seek it
, for only in giving will it come to us. To open ones heart is to risk it being
open and still empty. This is the requirement. Many things may come into our liv
es that mimic love, because it is the illusion not the true love that we seek. T
his illusion will not stand up to any test. It will vanish for it is not real. Y
et when true love enters our lives it will give us all that we could ever dream
of and more. For the price that we pay for it is just as great. Many of us canno
t handle love. Love is never easy and it is never safe. Most people say that the
y want love, but what they want is just a feeling. They want a feeling that asks
nothing of them except what they want to give. What they want is something that
does not take them into their souls. Through real love we see ourselves. We mee
t our weakness as well as our strengths in our lovers eyes. The illusion that mas
querades as love does not give us this. It shares nothing. Each person within th
e illusion cares only about themselves and the effect that the other has on them
. Each person in love cares only about the other and the effect they have on the
other. Real love is by nature You centered not Me centered. We may have real love o
r we may have illusion. But truly few are able to stand up and receive Love. Lov
e is forever. The relationship may or may not work out. Love does not guarantee
that a relationship is permanent. It guarantees only one thing, and that is that
after loving we will be forever changed. We cannot sustain love without growth.
Sometimes love itself makes that growth easy, and sometimes it makes it hard. Y
et whether it is hard or easy we will grow. There are many different levels of f
eelings that are shared between people. Some are more comfortable than others ar
e. We should remember this when we are faced with whether to accept love or to t
urn away from it. The joy of love can only be as deep as we are willing to risk
the pain. If we walk away from feeling pain, we are walking away from feeling an
ything.
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Chapter 30
RELATIONSHIPS
An honest relationship can only be built by people who can relate honestly. We c
annot expect from a relationship anything that we cannot expect from ourselves.
We all have an image of what a relationship should be. The image that we have, t
he form that we hold is an ideal that we have seen on television, seen in the mo
vies and read in books. This image is something that we have rarely if ever seen
in real life. Yet we hold tight to this image. Our expectations for a relations
hip never take into consideration how we ourselves relate. We hold an image in o
ur heads that we not only try to fit in ourselves, we also expect another person
to fit into it as well. Two people come together with their own image of a rela
tionship and try to force themselves and their partners into it. It is no wonder
that so many people are afraid of entering into one. We can no longer think of
a relationship as something that we enter into. We must consider a relationship
as something that two people create together. It must be something that is built
of a material that consists of who each of us is. If the relationship is built
of us and by us then it has a much better chance of growing and evolving with us
. The way that we function within our personal relationships is going through a
metamorphosis. When we hear statistics that say that one in four people has been
cheated on, this is frightening. The divorce rate, which held at 50% for so lon
g, is not at 65%. There is a problem in how we form and keep or try to keep our
relationships going. A relationship should be one with two entrances that are al
ways open. One entrance for each person to come in as they choose. The problem t
hat we have is that we think in terms of possession. No one today can be possess
ed. With all of the changes that are going on in the universe today, each person
needs, and requires freedom to grow, and to expand to their full potential. We
are evolving so fast that we need to feel unencumbered. The kinds of relationshi
ps that we have been accustomed to tend to freeze in time, I may grow and we may
grow but the relationship stays the same. Eventually one or both of the people
involved just cannot fit into the space that the relationship has allowed for th
em. So outside of the relationship the two people may love and respect each othe
r but when they try to relate something goes wrong. What is sad is that it is ve
ry often not that the people within the relationship do not love each other anym
ore, it is that the relationship does not fit them anymore. Although they know h
ow to change themselves they do not know how to change the relationship. As huma
n beings we have no choice when it
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comes to growing. We grow and we evolve on a daily basis. The problem is that as
we grow the structures that we build to feel safe or comfortable do not grow. I
t is like a childs chair; as the child grows the chair does not, but the child ke
eps sitting on that chair because it was so comfortable at one time until one da
y it just breaks. We are living in the 90s and trying to fit into relationships t
hat were barely working in the 50s. The problem is not that we chose the wrong pe
rson but that we create a relationship that cannot stand up to reality. That rel
ationship is what we depend on to keep us together instead of ourselves. What we
need to do is to become acquainted with each other each day. Each day we need t
o form a new relationship with the person who is sitting next to us or sleeping
next to us in the bed. Never allow our relationships to become automatic no matt
er what the title is that it carries. The bond of love between two people is not
visible it does not change. The exterior experiences and appearances change, bu
t the souls do not. A bond of love is soul to soul. If permitted to do so, the l
ove would form a bond that will grow and evolve as the individuals within it gro
w and evolve. Love is alive, it must be allowed to be free and to breathe. If we
try to put it into a box that we label marriage, or relationship, it will die.
No matter what we label our union, it must not be a prefabricated container; it
must become an open field for us to flourish in. When we meet someone, we fall i
n love with that person. Eventually, after we consider ourselves in a relationsh
ip or a marriage, we assume roles and expect our partner to assume a role. So no
w we are in a thing called a relationship or a marriage and must fit into a role
be it boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, husband or wife. It becomes very hard to fi
nd the person that we fell in love with in the first place and even harder to fi
nd ourselves. We cannot be ourselves and we cannot grow. We are soon very insecu
re because we become lost in the role that we must play to stay within the thing
that we call a relationship. It is fear that breaks up relationships. That same
fear that we once believed this relationship would free us from. I am afraid th
at if I allow you to change then you will not love me anymore. I am afraid that
if I change you will not love me anymore. In both cases we are trying and not be
ing. If we allow love to be the bond and not what form we have given a relations
hip, then we will not have a 65% divorce rate. A relationship is full of because
s. I love you because you are always waiting for me when I get home. I love you
because you have such a beautiful body. I love you because you always listen to
me when I speak. We can go on and on with becauses, but becauses are prisons. We
know that we love someone when everything that implies because is very nice but
has nothing to do with why we love him or her. This allowing each other to chan
ge and grow does not remove the necessity for commitment. What it does is simply
change what it is that we are committed to. Commitments in relationships build
a foundation upon which to grow. They do not build walls to be trapped within. I
n a relationship one should be committed to honesty and to communication. We sho
uld commit ourselves to understanding each other and making sure that we are eac
h understood. If I say to you If we are going to be together you need to change t
his or that what I am saying is that whatever it is that I am asking you to chang
e threatens me. Therefore it is really my problem and not yours. Now if I am tal
king about the fact that you need to get a job or give up a drinking habit or st
op being abusive those are all problems that in reality affect my ability to liv
e my life fully. However if I say that you need to change your hair, or change y
our friends, change the way in which you speak, those are my insecurities. In th
at case it would be your commitment to me to help me work through those fears. B
ut you
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would have no responsibility to not change yourself. We are committed to love an
d be there for each other, but most of all to love and understand ourselves. Whe
n we love and understand ourselves we are more able to understand the real issue
s that exist between us and know which are mine, which are yours and which are o
urs. We need to break our habit of expectation. Each relationship is unique to t
he people who are in it. A relationship is the area in which two people relate.
No two people will relate exactly the same so we cannot carry relationships from
one partner to another. Ideally a relationship is a place where two people feel
the most free to be themselves and to grow safely. If we take a flower and leav
e it out in the field its growth is subject to the weather or to whomever will or
will not step on it before it has a chance to fully mature. A relationship is l
ike taking that flower and bringing it home to water and love and protect while
it still grows and reaches its fullest potential. Love breaks the bonds of fear.
Within that love we need to be free from fear because love has no judgments. A
relationship is also something that feeds both parties. When one grows that grow
th can help the other grow if allowed. The only thing that stops this from happe
ning is fear. It is fear of the partners growth clogs the flow and prevents our a
bility to grow along with the partners. With a bond of love this would be automat
ic because the flow of energy that moves one along moves between to two individu
als connected through love. I do believe that we are meant to marry and to be mo
nogamous. When we are not monogamous problems arise. Monogamy was first decided
upon to be certain of the parentage of children. Later it helped insure against
the passing of sexually transmitted diseases. So I am of the belief that the Uni
verse wants us to be monogamous. The problems arise when we do not make the best
choices. When we do not take seriously our commitment to the choices that we ma
ke we make choices that we do not feel required to stay committed to. This in it
self builds a shaky foundation. We need to build a strong foundation. It is impo
rtant that before we enter into a relationship, even a friendship that we search
our motives. Any connection not built on love is going to short out. Even a rel
ationship built on the strongest love will require dedication, sacrifice and har
d work to succeed. The people of today cannot allow themselves to be forced to f
it into a relationship. A relationship has to be designed and built by and for t
he people who are in it.
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Chapter 31
MEN AND WOMEN
Today we need to allow not only for the things that make men and women different
, but more than ever we must allow for the things that possibly make us the same
.
I once read a book in which there was a comparison of men and women based upon o
ur reproductive organs. The point was that men had a very simple system and woma
n had a very complicated involved system capable of holding and nurturing life.
The male reproductive system was compared to a single celled ameba. I wonder tha
t if men are so simple why are they so hard to understand? Why do women have suc
h a difficult time working with them? The truth is that men are much more fragil
e and emotional than women are. Women have a much better ability to heal than me
n do. Women suffer, and suffering is a very important part of the healing proces
s. Men go on. In going on, men do not heal. Men walk around with open wounds. Ev
ery human being on this planet, every soul in existence wants and needs love. Me
n and women want the same thing. The difference is that although we all know tha
t love may hurt, but without risking that hurt we will not find love; because of
the fact that men dont heal that risk is equal to death. I believe that the wome
ns liberation movement, although disorienting for men will ultimately prove to ac
tually liberate them. For men the world has been black or white. For women it ha
s always been a place of gray areas. It is right for women to fight for the same
rights in the world as men have, equal pay for equal work and equal respect. It
is equally right for women to give men the same rights that women have always h
ad, the right to feel, and the right to stop and heal. The truth is that women h
ave always controlled the world; if for no other reason than they raise the men.
If a father is abusive to women his son does not become abusive because of the
fact that the father was abusive, he becomes abusive because of the mothers reac
tion to the abuse. Children male and female respond to cause and effect. It is n
ot just half of the picture that is embedded into the childs psyche. If after the
father hit the mother she picked up a baseball bat and smashed him in the head
with it, the child would not be very likely to become abusive to women when he g
rew up. I am personally familiar with the abusive scenario. The way that it usua
lly goes is that the man vents his anger and frustration on the woman. He then b
reaks down and begs for forgiveness. The woman feels sorry for him and nurtures
him back to his old abusive self. If I were a son I could see this as a win, win
situation for the male. The womb carries a lifetime responsibility. The connect
ion is never severed. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. I came into
this life in a female body, with its female memory and I think it is great. Wome
n truly rule, we know the game, we raise the players on both sides, we teach the
m the rules. Remember the Garden of Eden, the snake knew that Adam could never t
alk Eve into biting the apple, so he went to Eve. If Eve was created from Adams r
ib, then within every Eve is an Adam. Then from Eve came Cane and Abel. Women ne
ed to acknowledge their power, not look for men to give it to them. Once women a
cknowledge that they have had it all along, the war between the sexes will becom
e much more of a negotiation. After women acknowledge their own power, they will
begin to be free to share the source of that power with men. Women will not be
threatened by men who are in touch with their feelings, they will
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allow boys to cry and not expect them to be so strong. Because in fact men are n
ot stronger than women they just repress their doubts, they repress their fears,
and they repress their feelings. They do this now because women require it. Men
and women both enforce the roles that each of them plays. The world is as full
of unknowns for men as it is for women. Without knowledge of what exactly will h
appen and how exactly to handle what does happen, there must be uncertainty. It
is uncertainty that causes us to have fear. So men and women are both playing in
the same field with the same challenges but not taught to respond in the same w
ay. In the beginning there was man and there was woman. Men and women lived in a
rather hostile environment. Our priorities as a species were survival and procr
eation. Our world was eat or be eaten, kill or be killed. It made sense that sin
ce men were physically stronger it was left to them to go out and fight for food
. It made sense for women to take care of the children that they bore, tend the
fields and keep the home. This was a logical division of duties. They were initi
ally decided based upon the obvious physical differences. However the world has
changed. No one has to hunt wild animals anymore. On the societal level our batt
les are waged brain to brain, heart to heart. Taking care of oneself and ones fa
mily does not require brute force. In the days of the hunt a man had to hide his
fear so that an animal could not smell it on him. He had to remain focused upon
the hunt, for he was also the hunted. All of the roles that we have held onto w
ere once required for survival. Our species has evolved and so has our world. Ou
r roles must evolve. They were not wrong within the context that they were creat
ed. They just do not fit within the context of the world that we live in now. Th
ere are many differences between men and women but not all of them are physical,
many of them are conditioned. As time goes on the differences will be fewer and
fewer. As women become more and more comfortable with their own power, they wil
l become more and more comfortable with the growing sensitivity among men. In th
e present age, women are sensitive and that same sensitivity in men is considere
d weakness. Just as women grow old and men become distinguished. All of these di
fferences in perception are slowly fading. We are in a time where there is no re
al need for the separation of roles that we have been so accustomed to. What doe
s that mean for us? We have so deeply identified with those roles, that to lose
them is like losing ourselves. What we can do now is not require that our roles
abruptly change, but we can hold onto those parts that we like and discard those
that we do not. This all brings us back to the fact that we are not men and wom
en, we are souls, sometimes we wear the bodies of men and sometimes we wear the
bodies of women. A man who enjoys holding the door open for a woman will be attr
acted to a woman who enjoys having the door held open for her. We wear our roles
now, just like we wear our clothes and we will be attracted to someone who wear
s a role that we are most comfortable with. There is nothing wrong with that. Th
is only gives us so much more variety to choose from. It is only important that
we acknowledge that these are merely roles that we have chosen to wear, they sui
t our taste. We are not living in a time where any role is a requirement for sur
vival. If women have had a genetic propensity for decorating, that would only be
because they were the ones taking care of the home while the man was out huntin
g, sometimes for days at a time. This is in our genetic programming. But now eve
n that programming is changing. It has just been so many generations since this
was the way we had to live. There are men now who are more sensitive and more cr
eative than was once the case. This is because our needs as a society as a speci
es are different. It is part of evolution. Homosexuality is part of evolution. M
en have had sex with men for centuries, I have friends who do not consider it an
act of homosexuality, they come from societies where it is not accepted openly,
but still accepted as something that men can do without being in any way consid
ered homosexual. Homosexuality as we are seeing it today in
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our society is something much more complex than sex between people of the same g
ender. It is much more about people born with those genetic scripts a little alt
ered, perhaps even evolved. We are not looking at merely or even mainly a sexual
preference. We are dealing with men and women who do not have likes and dislike
s, or strengths and weaknesses built in along gender lines. They are truly human
beings born with sort of genderless program. Truly free choice. Simply in terms
of souls, it is a period of time when souls who have spent as many lifetimes as
they could as women, are coming in as men and visa versa. Souls who are predisp
osed to being servers and caretakers are entering the bodies of men and souls wh
o have a predisposition towards aggressiveness, souls that would be classified a
s warriors are being born into female bodies. So we have souls who are more comf
ortable as the sex opposite to the one in which they have incarnated. This is no
t an accident. It is necessary for the evolution of our species. We are changing
the genetic codes for generations to come. This is not to say that soon there w
ill no longer be heterosexuality. That is still and will always be a requirement
for the survival of our species. What this means is that how we feel, what we l
ike or dislike, how we act or carry ourselves will not be ruled by what sex we w
ere born. It is a step towards purely being. The two becoming one. How can anyon
e be asked to be himself or herself, when they may look inside and not be able t
o accept who they truly are because society does not accept them. People are gro
uped and classified by what they like or dislike, how they walk or talk or what
color their skin is. A man who is sensitive, must as a man, deny that part of hi
mself in order to avoid ridicule and rejection. A woman who feels most comfortab
le relating in ways that are considered masculine or aggressive cannot be true t
o herself openly and honestly if society frowns on those behaviors that are trul
y natural to her. We cannot become whole if we must become whole only in hiding.
If those souls whose actions and feelings that were rejected and ridiculed beca
use they did not fit in with societies rules for their gender were instead not o
nly accepted by family and peers, but also applauded, I have to wonder how many
would have become gay. I do not want to in any way sound as though I think that
being homosexual is wrong. For many men and women the sexuality of it did not co
me first, first came the need to feel comfortable as who they were. In order to
do that it meant finding other individuals who shared their feelings and their d
ifferences. For those souls, it was inevitable that they would be attracted and
fall in love with the people with whom they felt the most affinity. I truly beli
eve that homosexuality contains a message, it is a part of our evolution. Someti
mes we must scream to be listened to, sometimes we must journey to the extreme f
irst before we find the middle way. We must never lose sight of the fact that th
e goal of our journey is oneness. God freedom to feel their freedom to express a
nd release feelings. Once men learn that they can feel they will learn that they
can heal and will begin to heal. When men learn to heal they will not spend so
much time running. We are all contained within each other. We need to acknowledg
e this unity and embrace it through the exploration of our differences. As the U
niverse has been slowly dissolving the many structures that we have built and re
lied upon one of the structures that has also been slowly eroding is our roles.
One of the symptoms of this dissolution of roles the homosexuality. It is possib
le that many homosexuals are simply the forerunners of the ways in which we will
be programmed in oneness in the future. God has no gender, though we choose to
apply one. Since we are a part of God, as souls we have no gender. On this earth
plane we experience all of the different aspects of ourselves through our inter
changes with other embodied souls. The act of sex is the physical projection of
the female side nurturing the male
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side. The male organ seeks nurturing, seeks that feeling of being embraced, held
within the warm loving female organ. The female organ seeks to engulf, to surro
und and nurture the male organ. Homosexuals seek to satisfy both the male and fe
male physical desires. Perhaps if that opposite gender need was satisfied from w
ithin, embraced and accepted the physical need would not be so stressed. In an u
nbalanced world, balance is the outcast. In order for a wheel to change directio
n it must first stop. In stopping there is inevitable confusion. We are in that
period of stopping and confusion. If we want to relate to each other we have to
allow for the confusion. If one person is trying to grow and the other is hangin
g on, the one who wants to grow cannot. If both people hang on, no one can grow,
but if both people let go, they can both grow together. If we love each other,
whether or not we know it, we love who we were, who we are and who we will becom
e at the same time. Love has no time; it has no era.
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Chapter 32
OUR FAMILIES
Love was absent in my mothers presence and it was present in my fathers absence.
It is part of our journey to criticize and find fault with the people who raise
us. However, if we stay with the process of dealing with these issues we may fin
d that there is a treasure buried underneath the pain. Our parents, no matter ho
w dysfunctional or abusive they were, are not the weak links in the chain that i
s our lives. There are no mistakes on our journey, so therefore it certainly wou
ld not begin with one. Our parents give us the tools, the perfect tools for the
chain that we are to build. They give us exactly what it is that we need. They g
ive us the lesson plan; they give us the alphabet and the words that we may use
to write our own story. They do not write the story for us. Some of us choose to
learn how to use the words, some of us choose to consider them insufficient. Ot
hers sit back and wait for the story to write itself. However the fact is that w
e are the writers of our stories. We expect that our parents are here to give us
what we need to be prepared for our external journey into the world. This is no
t the case. Our parents give us what we need in order to be prepared for the int
ernal journey of our souls. Our families brand us with the issues that we come h
ere to work on. If we come into this incarnation to deal with trust, they will g
ive us betrayal. If we come to find our power, they will take it from us. They w
ill give us the wound, (no matter how good they are), that we need to focus our
attention throughout our lives on the issue that we came here to perfect. This w
ound will not give us peace until we heal it, and through the process that this
wound takes us we not only heal ourselves but we heal others. If we come here to
learn humility, we may be in a family that gives us an empty sense of superiori
ty so that the world will bring us to our knees. Our families either inflict the
wound or set us up for the wound to be inflicted. This wound propels our journe
y. It is through this wound that we learn, and through this wound that we teach.
Even as they wound us our families give us what we need to find our way through
it. However sure we all may be of what they did to us, it is not until we have
healed that we can then realize all that they did for us. When we enter the worl
d God gives us each a parable that is our lives. When we figure it out, when we
learn it, we learn that the essence of all is love. When we learn this we will h
onor those who hurt us the most. On the soul level it is those who love us the m
ost who take on those roles of hurting us for our growth. Mans greatest obstacle
is his inability to understand love. One could understand God if only one could
understand and fully accept love. When we understand that the value of darkness
is that it is from there that we are able to see the light, we will no longer n
eed the darkness. We are given whatever we need because we are so loved. We will
be given whatever we need in order to turn us to face the light. Once we know t
hat all is love, that all is light, we will not need darkness we will not need t
o feel unloved. Once we know that we are always full, we will never again need t
o feel empty. We live like fish in an ocean searching for that wonderful thing c
alled water. Only our ocean is love.
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Our families give us pain and or happiness, but whatever they give us it is what
we need from them so that our lives can unfold according to our own destiny. Al
l that they do is for us; all that they do is from love. Sometimes to play a rol
e convincingly one must believe it. Those who hurt us may intend just that in th
eir roles here, but in their souls, they are only giving love. To forgive our pa
rents for whatever they may have done or not done is to miss the whole point. Wh
at we must do is understand and appreciate what they have given us. If we do thi
s, we are then required to work with that gift. We are then required not to pamp
er our wounds, but to build something strong and healthy from them. At this poin
t of acceptance we must look carefully at where we have been disabled and turn t
hat disability into strength. We need to look into this wound as we would into a
crystal ball and see what it is here that we can be empowered by and even more
importantly what we can use to empower others. The fact is that our greatest str
ength and our greatest gift lies within this wound. It is our primary focus for
being here. This is one of the most valuable lessons that we can learn here on e
arth. Here is the answer to that question, Why are I here? That wound is a treasur
e chest that has no bottom. It is a gift that we will ultimately, be the most gr
ateful for.
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Chapter 33
HUMILITY
How could it be better to be the Ocean, than to be a drop of water in the Ocean,
is there really a difference?
It has always been difficult for me when things seem to contradict themselves. I
have always felt that one who saw oneself as great could not be humble. I would
like to consider myself humble, and at the same time I strive to accept my grea
tness. I do understand the virtue of humility. To be humble is not so much to se
e how small one is, or to feel that one is small, as it is to see how great ever
yone is. We do not have to come down from our high horse; we just have to see ev
eryone else on a horse as high as ours. The fact is that we are of God, we are i
n God and God is in us, how can one who realizes this be humble? We can if we al
so realize that God is in each person, in each living creature in the Universe.
In the eyes of God there is no job, no mission, and no purpose that is more impo
rtant than another is. Everything must be done. The one who builds the ladder is
as important as the one who climbs it. The movie star, the cameraman and the au
dience all make a movie. There is not one position in the equation that can be r
emoved. Even the people who stand on the unemployment lines create jobs for the
people who work for Unemployment. The mothers who collect welfare create jobs fo
r the welfare workers. If we look down on someone because of his or her position
in life it is important to realize that somehow in some way what they do and wh
o they are permits us to be who we are and do what we do. If we are in a positio
n in life where we feel that we are not as good as someone else or that what we
do is not as important, remember that God sent a carpenter, not an emperor to sa
ve mankind. No one rises that someone else does not support, and the higher one
rises the more souls that person depends upon to remain there. It is time to wak
e up and become aware of just who we are, and what our real responsibility is. W
e must realize that our value does not ultimately lie in how much we are paid on
this earth, it lies in how much we give. Although we are all the same in Gods ey
es we do not all carry our weight. What are we giving in equal measure to what w
e receive. There is no later, and no tomorrow. We are in the days of judgment. A
nd deep down inside we all know this. There would not be this great spiritual mo
vement if we were not all somewhere deep inside completely aware of the fact the
Lord is here now. He is among us, he is within us and He is trying to make us s
ee that we must save ourselves. The way to do that is to save each other. It is
not done by preaching but by living. You will know him by his deeds, this is what
Christ said. This is the day that you will be known. Stop judging others, how wo
uld we know wrong if we were not wronged. God teaches Justice by giving us the u
njust. The one who wronged us is also an image of God, teaching his or her lesso
n to us. God teaches honesty through the dishonest. God teaches love through tho
se who deprive us of it. It is the blind that teach us to see, it is the deaf th
at teach us to hear. It is the rich that teach us the value of things that canno
t be bought, and the poor that teach us to strive for more. All of creatures on
earth are here to learn and to teach. No one can pass judgment upon another. Chr
ist felt no greater compassion for any human being than He felt for Judas and th
e job that Judas had to do.
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Chapter 34
KARMA, LESSONS, MISSIONS AND TESTS
Between our Karma, our Lessons, or Missions and our Tests, it is a wonder we eve
n have time to ask why we are here.
There are so many parts of our existence here. There are lessons, missions, karm
a, and there are tests. There is always a core issue, either a lesson, a mission
or a test. This is a consistent theme in our lives. No matter what we do or wha
t direction we appear to be going, we always find that this direction or theme c
onsistently appears throughout our lives.
MISSIONS
They say that there are some people who believe that they are here on a mission.
The fact is that we are all here on a mission. Some souls missions involve one p
erson, and others involve the Universe. In the eyes of God, all missions are of
equal importance because to save one soul is to save the Universe. These mission
s all involve teaching. We do this in many ways. We may teach others through our
compassion, or we may teach through our cruelty. We may teach through our succe
eding against all odds or through our failing though we seem to have every advan
tage. We are teaching, whether we are teaching one person or teaching one millio
n. We may overhear a conversation that in some way changes our lives, that perso
n was sent to teach us.
KARMA
Now most people that I meet believe in reincarnation and they believe in karma.
Karma lets us see both sides. It lets us give and receive, it is the actualizati
on of the Golden Rule. What goes up must come down. Karma is not bad and it is n
ot good. I do a good turn for you, you do a good turn for me. That is karma. The
balance does not even have so much to do with experiencing the situation, for e
xample it is not just I cheated on you in the last life and now you cheat on me
in this one.
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If I cheated on you in the last life and also acknowledged to you that what I di
d was wrong from my heart, I have in effect created the needed balance. However
it is not always that easy for us to do this without the shoe being on the other
foot. If there is a difference between karma and lessons, it could be that the
lessons that are set up to perfect our beingness. We might first set up a situat
ion that will test how we will react. Within that situation we may create karma.
Now we still have a lesson to continue to be faced with until we learn how to h
andle it properly, and we have in addition added karma. An example may be that I
choose in a certain lifetime to deal with greed. The scenario is that you as on
e of my soul mates agree to posses something that I want and within that situati
on I can test what choices I would make. How I handle that situation will determ
ine whether the lesson needs to be repeated. In addition to that, I may react in
a way the causes some karma between us. They both work together however karma i
s generally a result of how we function within our lessons. Karma is nothing to
worry about, in fact it is really simply balance. When we accept the truth, when
we act from our heart our karma as we are acting is positive. Our actions today
, if positive and heartfelt erase any negative karma we may have carried from th
e past either in this life or in a past life. The point of all life is to rememb
er that all things, all energy, and all actions must at all times be in balance.
Karma simply demands that balance. What goes up must come down. Karma is nothin
g more than that. The scales must always be balanced, there is no emotion attach
ed to that it is a fact. In the world that we see there is a form for everything
and those forms must be in balance. In the world everything is one because of t
hat balance. One is absolute. Being aware of our thoughts our actions and oursel
ves puts us in connection with the Absolute. When we are in connection with the
whole, karma does not frighten us. No matter where we go, no matter what subject
we address, the answer to living a life that is joyful, is being present and aw
are.
TESTS AND LESSONS
We are all here learning some lessons, no matter what level we are on in evoluti
on. There are areas in which we are still perfecting. These lessons are the cont
inuation of our evolution. They are the areas that we are here perfecting. In li
fe, when we are given a lesson to learn we learn it through being knocked down,
through suffering. The lesson comes in many different forms until we figure it o
ut. Once we figure out what the lesson is by understanding the consistent theme
that runs through these experiences, we face these situations again for a last t
ime of lesson. During these experiences we are conscious as they are occurring.
We are able to learn and when the experience is finished we are changed this tim
e. Then here come the experiences one more time. It takes a long time for us to
understand that these things could be happening again. This time is the test. Th
is time is not so difficult. If we get through this last time awake and aware, w
e will not experience them again. That is how we learn. We have finished this le
sson, from now on we will be gifted with these areas of experience. These areas
will come to us, these are the areas where we will be considered lucky. They wil
l be so easy that we could misuse them. Our issues will not be whether or not we
can have them. We will have to deal with how we will use them. For some souls t
his lifetime is that last time. Because it is the test lifetime and not the less
on lifetime they do not seem to hit the ground when they fall. Their lives seem
to be like those of others up until the outcome of each situation. Everyone fall
s everyone smashes against the ground except these souls seem to always land on
a mattress. They could go in to rob a bank and be the only ones who are not caug
ht. If they do not do what is right, and you are waiting for what goes
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around to come around, you will be waiting a long time. The thing to always keep
in mind is that lessons are learned by falling and hitting the ground. Lessons
are learned by getting hurt. Lessons are learned by suffering. There are not man
y other reasons for suffering. When we come here having completed the lessons ou
r choices will be tested. Those tests will show up in those areas of our lives w
here we just dont seem to fail. We may worry, we may do everything that seems to
be wrong, but in the end, we land on top. For most of us this is in one area tha
t probably we ourselves dont notice. However, those around us see it. There are o
ther people who seem to have this kind of luck in every area of their lives. The
re do not seem to be any rules that pertain to them. They walk between raindrops
. Each time that I have come across these people in my life I have felt that for
some reason they had some sort of scholarship in life. Those people who seem to
get away with things that others cannot. Every time they do something they get
a second chance. Not only do they get another chance, they win. They cheat and t
hey win. They hurt people and they win. I am sure that there are people who get
away with murder, literally and yet they seem to live lives that are unhurt by a
ny sort of repercussions for the things that they do. In the business world they
take the opportunity they steal, lie, and cheat, anything to win. It is not per
sonal. And they believe that there is some sort of exemption if things are done
in the name of money. That would seem to be correct because they do not pay. The
re are some of us, and those people whom I have mentioned above fall into this c
ategory, who do not have a core lesson, but a test. They have a life set up to w
in no matter what they do. They have pitfalls and setbacks but these are not set
up as lessons, they are set up as tests, they are set up to test how these soul
s will respond to whatever happens.
Now most people that I meet believe in reincarnation and they believe in karma.
Karma lets us see both sides. It lets us give and receive, it is the actualizati
on of the Golden Rule. What goes up must come down. Karma is not bad and it is n
ot good. I do a good turn for you, you do a good turn for me and visa versa. Tha
t is karma. The balance does not even have so much to do with experiencing the s
ituation, for example it is not just I cheated on you in the last life and now y
ou cheat on me in this one. If I cheated on you in the last life and also acknow
ledged to you that what I did was wrong from my heart, I have in effect created
the needed balance. However it is not always that easy for us to do this without
the shoe being on the other foot. If there is a difference between karma and le
ssons, it could be that the lessons that are set up to perfect our beingness We
might first set up a situation that will test how we will react. Within that sit
uation we may create karma. Now we still have a lesson to continue to be faced w
ith until we learn how to handle it properly, and we have in addition added karm
a. An example may be that I choose in a certain lifetime to deal with greed. The
scenario is that you as one of my soul mates agree to posses something that I w
ant and within that situation I can test what choices I would make. How I handle
that situation will determine whether the lesson needs to be repeated. In addit
ion to that, I may react in a way the causes some karma between us. They both wo
rk together however karma is generally a result of how we function within our le
ssons. Karma is nothing to worry about, in fact it is really simply balance. Whe
n we accept the truth, when we act from our heart our karma as we are acting is
positive. Our actions today, if positive and heartfelt erase any negative karma
we may have carried from the past either in
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this life or in a past life. The point of all life is to remember that all thing
s, all energy, and all actions must at all times be in balance. Karma simply dem
ands that balance. What goes up must come down. Karma is nothing more than that.
The scales must always be balanced, there is no emotion attached to that it is
a fact. In the world that we see there is a form for everything and those forms
must be in balance. In the world that is, in the whole everything is one because
of that balance. One is absolute. Being aware of our thoughts our actions and o
urselves puts us in connection with the Absolute. When we are in connection with
the whole, karma does not frighten us. No matter where we go, no matter what su
bject we address, the answer to living a life that is joyful, is being present a
nd aware.
Chapter 35
JUDGMENT
In order to judge one must be the ultimate authority on living. There is no one
else qualified.
In order to make a judgment there must be something or someone to judge against.
I cannot judge what someone does as wrong unless I know what is right. Who on e
arth knows what is right? We each know how we see things and what our own opinio
ns are but only the Creator knows enough to judge. Who on earth has the right to
judge another human being? Who knows where someone else should be at a given ti
me in his or her own life? You see each of us comes to this earth with our own s
et of lessons to learn we begin when we are born and finish when we die, at whic
h point we meet with the only one qualified to judge how all our progress went,
God. Some of us have more hurdles to overcome on our way, and we will never be j
udged on whether or not we got anywhere but only on how sincerely we tried. We n
eed to perceive our lives as a journey with no time clocks and no destination. D
eclare ourselves winners for trying and keep doing it. No one is in a position t
o judge except God, for us the criteria is in such a state of constant change th
at no one could keep up. The rules that are constant are the rules given to us b
y God. All other rules made by man are in a constant state of evolution. Certain
ly no one is in a position to judge another person. No one has all the facts. Th
ey dont exist. There is always a dimension that we do not see in every situation.
There are always circumstances that we do not understand. There is not one pers
on on earth who can speak for God. And God is the only judge. If we choose to be
judge let us then look into our hearts and judge ourselves. Jesus said You see t
he spec in your brothers
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eye but you do not see the plank that is in your own eye It is because of the pla
nk in our own eye that we see the spec in our brothers. When we find fault with
others it is not their faults that we are seeing but the outward image of our ow
n. We are all self centered in a way that we are each here on a journey that is
individual. There is nothing that enters our lives unless it is not connected wi
th that journey. We do not see, hear or experience anything that is not in some
way directly connected with our growth. Our physical world is symbolic of our in
ternal journey. If I keep meeting liars it is because somewhere inside I am lyin
g. When we clean the inside the outside will be clean because everything comes f
rom inside out. It is not for anyone to judge us and we cannot allow ourselves t
o judge anyone else for we are all blind. We live in darkness and the only true
light come from within. When we think of judging someone else it is an opportuni
ty for us to see that thing that we are judging within others, within ourselves
and remove it. The good thing is that we are always born anew. We are constantly
in progress. So long as we seek to grow and become better human beings we will.
We are all one, to judge each other is like the left arm judging the right. Eac
h has his own place and his own road. Each soul knows only its own way and can o
nly judge itself based upon how well it follows that way. We cannot compare, the
refore we cannot judge.
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Chapter 36
LIVING WITH INTEGRITY
Pride belongs to the ego, but integrity belongs to the soul
In the end we must live with integrity. We must live a life that integrates who
we are with what we do. We must integrate our morals and our values in the way t
hat we live our lives. We cannot live our lives telling ourselves that we once w
e get to where we want to go we will change. Each moment may very well be our la
st chance to do the right thing. When we live only for the approval of the world
we can never fully approve of ourselves. When we return home and turn out the l
ights we are faced with the greatest critic. We all have a spirit inside of ours
elves that knows what is real and what is not. It knows what is temporary and wh
at is everlasting. This is where we live now and forever. When the dust clears a
nd the illusion is wiped away, we must live with and ultimately answer for the w
ay in which we lived our lives. The choices that we are presented with, the perc
eptions that we have are always a part of the illusion that is our lesson here.
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However we perceive our lives and however we view our choices or lack of choices
the only thing that will matter will be whether we acted in accordance with our
true selves. All that matters is whether or not we treated each person that ent
ered our lives as we would ourselves want to be treated. Our honesty, our compas
sion and our willingness to forgive will be all that is on our slate when we go
home for the final counting. No matter what tests, no matter what lessons are pu
t before us in our lives, what we are being tested on is simple. How able are we
this time around to love, to be true, to be compassionate and to release oursel
ves, our brothers and life itself. We cannot live our lives as though we still h
ave time to fix anything that we mess up on our way. We are not being judged by
how we act at the finish line it is how we handle the journey that will count. T
he real end does not justify the means it is the means that justifies the end. T
here comes a point in every life whether it is age 50 or age 150 when we no long
er hear the sounds that come from outside of us. All that we hear are the sounds
that come from inside. That moment when we hear nothing but our souls, will be
the longest moment of our existence. There will come a time in every life when t
he length of life lived will extend longer than the length of life left to live.
At this time, when we have more memories than we have future hopes, we will nee
d to feel that there was truth in our living. Because it will be in preoccupatio
n of how we lived that our minds will spend most of their time.
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Chapter 37
ONENESS
Each of us is God and all of us are God, in the sense that we are aspects of Him
spread out over all of time and space. When we love ourselves we love God. It i
s not looking up saying God I love you, you are perfect. It is looking in the mirr
or and saying God I love you, you are perfect.
We are special; we are all on a mission to spread love and light. If we can lear
n to love ourselves completely, each part of our being, then by doing that from
within we will automatically love each other. It is by loving and accepting all
of our different qualities that we will love and accept all of those souls who r
epresent those qualities around us. That love will infect the energy of the enti
re planet and the Universe. This is each persons individual mission. Understand t
hat love and hate are like air born viruses. They travel through the energy fiel
d and infect others. As a virus begins first within an organism, so love and hat
e each begin first within the individual. I cannot spread something I do not hav
e. I must love or hate myself to spread it into the energy environment. Hate is
simply fear. Love is acceptance as oneness. Love is being whole. We do come from
one source. We are all different aspects of All that is, and we each contain ev
ery aspect of All that is. As we meet others we are meeting ourselves, like the
same piece of the cardboard, just cut into a different shape. It is truly, as ab
ove, so below, as within without. If I can only love one person, I still am only
accepting those aspects of myself that are represented by that one person. If I
cannot love a certain person, and worse, if I hate that person, it is the aspec
t of myself that is represented by that person that I am not accepting. We speak
of good versus evil, of us versus them Satan versus God - these are all imagina
ry divisions. They are not real. If you look to Satan as he appears in the old t
estament, he is not the enemy of God. If he is the enemy of anyone he is the ene
my of man. The impression is that he just thinks that God gives man too much cre
dit. He doesnt believe that man is capable of loving God as the angels do. So God
gives Satan carte blanche as to how he tests mans love of God with one exceptio
n he cant kill him. Knowing that Satan, being an archangel, is no dummy he would
use the division and distraction to distance man from God and prove his point, t
hat man doesnt have what it takes to love God. Religion is the first and the best
tool to divide and conquer humanity. It makes sense; people are so busy defendi
ng their particular religion from other people who are defending their own relig
ion, that God becomes an afterthought. The focus becomes the bathwater and not G
od, the baby in it. If we were to overcome all of our other boundaries race, nat
ionality, economic status, religion will still remain Satans trump card. We commi
t more actions that distance us from our own loving hearts and God, in the name
of religion, than even our greed commands. Remember that a chain is only as stro
ng as its weakest link. We are each links. If we are not individually in love wi
th the totality of our beings, we cannot benefit the whole. I can teach you to u
nderstand a concept, even the concept of self-love, but I cannot give it to you
or to the energy of the universe until I have it. If we can love ourselves uncon
ditionally we will see no one as unworthy of our love and embrace the Oneness th
at we all share. We are God, in the sense that we are aspects of Him spread out
over all of time and space. When we love ourselves we love God. It is not lookin
g up saying God I love you, you are perfect. It is looking in the mirror and sayin
g God I love you, you are perfect. It is looking at all beings and saying, God I lo
ve you,
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you are perfect. When we understand that we need not look to what we cannot see t
o love God, because we each are a cell in the body of God. We are not born from
God; we are each and all forever a part of God. The veil, the Maya is what keeps us
looking at a liver cell as opposed to a pancreatic cell as opposed to a skin cel
l when we are all simply and divinely cells of one beautiful body, and our indiv
idual work is what keeps the body alive. We are a part of All that is. This is w
hy there is no death. Even our physical bodies do return to the physical substan
ce from which they came; that is not even dying, it is transforming into somethi
ng greater than before. When our physical vehicle is no longer of use, we are re
-incorporated into spirit. Until we choose to utilize a physical vehicle again.
If we go back to the theory of cells, we can understand that we have an ego, whi
ch in its highest sense, is the attachment to our individuality and the experien
ces we have had throughout our history of incarnation. The Aquarian Age is a tim
e where we do not blend our individuality into the brotherhood of man. We add ou
r individuality to aid the betterment of mankind. It is also about taking that i
ndividuality and bringing it into the perfect working of the whole. Just as a li
ver cell cannot forget it is a liver cell and start functioning as a pancreatic
cell. Ideally it should realize that it is a liver cell of the same material and
a part of the same whole as the pancreatic cell and without both there would be
no body. Individuality does not mean that we are floating unattached. Individua
lity means that we have our self, our gift, and our unique identity to contribut
e to the whole of which we are a part. We are a drop as well as the Ocean. We ne
ed each other because we are each other in the greater sense. We need God becaus
e we are God. To say that we are children of God is beautiful and it conjures up
a beautiful loving image. Yet it implies that we are separate from God so when
we are then told to look within for God, we become confused trying to find somet
hing separate but within. My child comes from me, she loves me and I love her, h
owever we are separate physical beings in life and that separateness is what imp
els her to perfect the gifts that are contributed by her being and knowing her w
hole self. My cells and my organs, on the other hand, are a part of me; they bea
r the same connection to me as we bear to God. I may look at every part of me an
d say this me in this lifetime. The power and strength of each part of me is at
my disposal. So we must incorporate the premise that we are not children of God
but parts of the body of God. We do not have to look within to find God, we are
God within and without. Not only are we parts of God, but so is everything that
exists as far as we can see and as far as there is. If we can understand this co
ncept and break free of the belief that we are merely creations of God but not G
od, then we can understand that everything else is connected to and a part of ea
ch of us. God created man in His own image. Perhaps what that is saying is the G
od created man from His own image, and a soul that is, His own image. Understand
ing that all that exists is God, as each cell within our bodies are connected to
the other and dependent upon the other, and the body upon the whole of all if i
ts cells, so too are we connected to every living organism and in some way, awar
e of it or not, we are dependent upon each. God is economical. There are no left
-over or dispensable parts. Each species, each organism has a purpose, and if we
remove one from existence, we will eventually feel the repercussions of its abs
ence. We cannot pollute the atmosphere without somehow polluting ourselves. We c
annot weaken the immune system of the earth without having problems with our own
immune systems and the immune systems of every living organism that exists on t
he planet. Not in just affecting from without, but mirroring the effect within o
ur own organism. We must remember that as above, as below as within as without.
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We cannot consider ourselves separate from God nor can we consider ourselves sep
arate from another individual, even if that individual lives thousands of miles
away worships in a different church, speaks a different language and has a diffe
rent color skin. We are all connected by the atmosphere that we all share. We li
ve under the same sky and breathe the same air. We are each connected by air. Ev
erything on earth is made of atoms. How then can we not be connected? To be a pa
rt of something larger than ourselves does not make us less in reality it makes
us more. When we look at the night sky and see all of the stars and all of the u
niverses, this should not make us feel small and insignificant; it should make u
s feel great and limitless. Only the belief that one is great can give one the c
ourage and motivation to do great things.
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Chapter 38
PUTTING OUR EXPERIENCES INTO PERSPECTIVE
Our experiences are the lessons from which we learn. They are the problems on ou
r tests and the rewards for our efforts. However, no matter what part they play
in our lives, they will always be outside of us. They are what our lives are mad
e of but never what we are made of.
Each day our lives unfold before us. Each day we are faced with new opportunitie
s and new challenges. We are reborn each moment with each new choice and new act
ion. This is how we evolve. So long as we are here we are growing we are becomin
g. We cannot judge ourselves. We cannot label ourselves because we are constantl
y changing. We can judge our decisions and our actions if that judgment will hel
p us grow. An action can be judged because it is frozen, it has a beginning and
an end. People do not. If one feels insignificant, then ultimately one will feel
that any contribution that he or she will make will be insignificant. This feel
ing keeps one from accomplishing the fullness of the potential that lies within
each of us. Our souls will in some way be permanently altered by our experience
here. We are forever changed each day by each event that unfold before us. This
is as it should be. This is growth. We need to believe that we are not a product
of our lives we are the co-creators of them. If we are failing it is not in our
efforts nor even in our abilities, it is in our beliefs. How can an ant lift so
many times its weight? It does so because it believes it can and that belief ha
s formed a reality. That belief is not only the belief of one ant it is the beli
ef of all ants everywhere. It is in the Universal Consciousness from which they
draw their power. It is a belief that we accept about them. Imagine how much pow
er all of this believing gives one single ant. It takes belief to create reality
, and the more a thing is believed the stronger that reality is. Even though the
re is no physical explanation for it. How can the belief of an ant be greater th
an our own? We should each be reborn with the sun each day. We should begin to e
xtract from the past only those lessons that help us move forward, not the ones
that hold us back or trap us to live in the mode of reaction. What is depression
? Depression is when the soul says to the personality,Can we talk? Our souls becom
e the therapist, and shut the door to any outside interference. Images, failures
, lost dreams, missed opportunities surface in a seemingly endless parade of hum
iliation and degradation. To what end? The purpose is to put a light into the ar
eas that we have closed off from ourselves. The light is the light of truth. We
need to see each of the situations in its proper perspective. Everything that oc
curs in our lives does not occur in order to show us how bad we are. Each thing
that happens in our lives happens in order to teach us, or to allow us to experi
ence something that we needed to learn from. Each choice that we look at with re
gret, each action that we call a mistake, has as much to do with our positive gr
owth as any other action that we take. No matter what choice we make, no matter
how we handle a situation we will always arrive at our destination. When we beco
me depressed, immobilized, we are being told that it is time to let something go
. Usually by the time that we are immobilized by depression there are many thing
s that we must let go. Depression tells us that wherever we are bound for requir
es that we travel with a lighter load. It is a
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heaviness of the soul. Being overburdened with the unnecessary bad feelings caus
es this heaviness. We need to go into our depressions and do spring-cleaning. We
need to sift out our self-judgments and realize that we are here to learn those
things that we have stuffed away in the closet that is now too full. We must fi
nd what we were to learn from each of those incidents that we are allowing to hu
rt us. Once we apply the purpose to each of the situations, they will no longer
be hurtful obstacles, they will be transformed into steps that we may climb to r
each our next destination. We learn the most in the first three years of life. T
hat is very scary, considering that until now our parents and even many of us as
parents thought those were the years we could use to practice. So in the first
three years we are this totally open being taking all in as truth. We learn caus
e and effect, action and reaction. Then we begin to start referring back reactin
g more and acting less, trusting what was already known and putting into the exi
sting patterns any new information or situation that comes in. We need some foun
dation. We need something to depend upon good or bad. During our early years we
develop cause and effect. As time goes by, take in less and less as new and use
what we have already experienced as our basis. We expand our already accepted tr
uths to encompass each new situation in our lives. Perhaps as a toddler our pare
nts went away for an extended period of time. We would, of course, not be able t
o understand that they will come back and the drama of their absence would have
been totally played out before they returned. The fact that they did come back m
ay have no impact in comparison to their leaving. In response we may leave every
situation before we feel we become attached enough to get hurt by the other per
son leaving. When we cry too often as an infant and no one comes within the time
that we anticipate we expand that to mean that no one cares or will ever care a
nd we must only take care of ourselves. This could make us feel that we are not
good enough or do not deserve to have our needs met or to even ask, so we may gr
ow up not asking for help because we are assuming that no one will respond. It c
ould also happen that we have over-protective parents who never allow us to fall
. Because they always catch us, and because our parents are all knowing we assum
e that they know that we are not capable of getting up. So the first time that w
e leave home and fall without anyone to catch us is the last time that we try. W
e turn all of those things that caused us pain into facts of. We instinctually r
efer each new experience to a pattern based upon a prior childhood experience th
at felt similar. In doing this we are trying to protect ourselves from any unexp
ected outcomes. We believe that being forewarned is being forearmed. We believe
that if we anticipate what will happen and we act first, we will prevent the fee
ling that we experienced initially. When I was a child I had a friend who I like
d very much, except for the fact that she would beat me. Both of our mothers tol
d me that if I did not hit her back I would not be allowed to play with her anym
ore. So one day we were playing and I saw my mother and her mother watching us.
Immediately I became so nervous that I punched her. When my mother asked me why
I said that I hit her back first. In essence this is what we begin doing in our
lives. We think that we know what will happen, and so we react and make it happe
n. By doing this our life works. The problem is that it does not work like that.
The truth is that we cause ourselves to be in the same situations many times by
simply setting them up ourselves because we project what happened in the past o
nto the present situation. We need to allow our lives to unfold. With each new d
ay there is a new situation that will arise before us.
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We grow, by approaching each situation that appears before us as though it were
new, and individual and handle it not based upon something that seems like it, b
ut based upon itself. We must not anticipate the next step we must allow it to u
nfold before us. We are in a much different position now then we were even yeste
rday because we have yesterdays experiences behind us along with the benefits and
lessons that we bring with us. We should carry with us the answers not the prob
lems. Each situation in our lives, no matter how familiar it seems as we approac
h it is different because we are different. This is how our experiences are set
up to help us grow. They are not meant to weigh us down or to cause us to use th
em to limit our future. These experiences are the ground on which we build our l
ives with the lessons that we learn from them. Each experience is a new chance.
It makes no difference what it is a result of, the only thing that matters is th
at it is our next chance.
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Chapter 39 THE SOULS JOURNEY
The journey of a flower begins as a seed, working through the earth to reach the
light, and such is the journey of the soul.
The earth is called the only planet of choice, it is a special place. In terms of
the concept of eternity it might be something like a New School. In Edgar Cayces r
eadings on astrology he speaks about the other planets as places we have spent l
ives. One chart will be read as someone who spent a great deal of time on Saturn
. On the earth plain that persons chart will carry a strong Saturn energy. As a p
erson who has lived most of their life in one country and then carries with the
attitudes and customs of that country to another. Symbolically the earth is like
this country. This was the New World. This country represents the country of choi
ce, of opportunity. If we are born here, or come here at a young age, we carry t
he energy of our environment, we know how to fit in and have an innate understan
ding of its workings. However if we move here as an older person this place is s
trange and frightening. Some people never adjust. So returning to Cayce, if we a
re from Saturn, we will never find enough structure or system or boundaries to f
eel fully at home, we are constantly working at flow. Yet if we come from Neptune,
we will find the form and the gravity just oppressive. Imagine that on each of
the other worlds, the influence of the other planets is blocked. On Mars, the en
tire planet was Martian. The entire planet lived under Martial law. There existe
d one Nation, one energy. In the Michael teachings there are souls who are warri
ors, perhaps those souls were born specifically to live on Mars while the Sages
went to Jupiter, the Priests to Neptune, and the Scholars to Mercury. Our lives
on each planet would bear some influence on our souls, but we would forever carr
y the core energy of our home. Then God created the Earth, the Melting Pot of the
Universe where all of the energies would be combined to form a truly perfect sou
l. Our Astrology charts therefore would not represent simply a map of the planet
s in the sky, but the story of our soul s path in a very real sense. In the begi
nning there were seven planets. Saturn was the boundary. There were always twelv
e signs. I believe that the original seven planets were the planets whose inhabi
tants would first come to Earth. As the outer planets were discovered, the energ
y of each planet was being introduced into our environment to prepare for the so
uls from each of these homelands the cross the Saturn boundary and make their wa
y to Earth. Remember that we emulate in the physical plain of Earth, that which
is done above. We had a world in which each country was a world unto itself, for
eign and isolated from the others. Then we created a
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New World in which all races and nationalities would come together and blend formi
ng a perfect human, not different but blending all differences through compassio
n, love and understanding. This country represented the hope for the world. This
world represents the same for our solar system and perhaps on and on. Each of u
s comes here with a purpose that is exclusive to us. We have lessons that we hav
e mapped out to learn, and gifts that we have chosen to receive. Our path is not
one that is based upon time, as we know it. It is a different form of time, mor
e of a time that is measured by our lessons and the tools that we equip ourselve
s with as we go through each lesson. Each point is carefully coordinated with th
e other souls that are a part of our family and a part of the entire group incar
nated upon the planet at the same time. We do not make mistakes, there are no er
rors. There is a great deal of preparation that goes into the journey into flesh
. Each of us unites with our soul group to work out the meshing of our individua
l karmas, our group karmas and our Universal Goals. Those of our group who are n
ot incarnating but still working with us are also involved in setting up where t
hey fit in. We put together the family that we will enter through who will be pa
rents who will be children what genetic lineage we will enter and finally the bo
dy requirements for our incarnation. Before we take our bodies we are aware of t
he limited time that we have incarnate. It is like the blink of an eye in terms
of soul age. We each set goals that we can reach; there is no guesswork. Whateve
r it is that we need we are provided with. There is no such thing as chance. We
plan each juncture in which a choice is to be made and we plan every possibility
that is connected with each choice. Our lessons are learned through our choices
they are our tests. There is no right choice or wrong choice; there is only cho
ice. There are many different possibilities for each event. What is destined is
the lesson that will come before us to face. As we face each one there are numer
ous possible outcomes based upon our response to each lesson. All of the possibi
lities fit into the Master Plan. It is something like a computer program, you ca
n tell the computer that you must get from A to Z and then have the computer set
up every possible scenario, to make sure that all directions will still lead yo
u to Z. Now a computer may be limited and miss a possible scenario, but the Univ
erse will not. Each agreement that we make as souls before we come here will in
some way be kept. No matter what we do, or how we handle each lesson, we will en
d up where we are to be when we are to be there. All of the souls that agree to
work together are perfectly fitted together in their lessons. They are one. It i
s as though they are part of a smaller consciousness. The pace of each member of
the group will be the same because the pace of the whole is the same. Everythin
g is synchronized. At all times we have choice, however as we make our choices,
whatever they may be, the outcome of that choice is designed to bring us to wher
e we are to be next to meet whomever we are to meet next. Like the computer, all
possible outcomes are designed to bring us from A to B to C to D and so on. No
matter what road you choose at each fork that you come to, that road will take y
ou to your destined arrival point. It does not matter whether you choose a1, a2,
or a3, you will still end up at B, there is no where else to go on your persona
l journey. There is a Master Clock. In accordance with that Clock, we are always
on time. Whether it takes one step or 10 steps, according to the Master Clock,
we will arrive on time. We have destiny and we have choice. Our choices are set
up for us to learn from, in no way however do they interfere with our destiny. I
f we always remember that our learning comes from the process and not from the o
utcome, we begin to understand that whether we achieve a goal or not we, on the
soul level, accomplish our goal.
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Someone who comes here primarily to learn commitment, will learn it either by se
eing the rewards of being committed, or by seeing the lack of reward in failing
to commit. The lesson will be experienced. If someone comes here to teach commit
ment they will teach it in the same way. If that person is committed, he will sh
ow those he is here to teach the results of being committed or failing to be com
mitted. Whatever the action, be it showing what commitment can bring or showing
what failing to commit can bring, he is still teaching commitment. A soul may ne
ed to learn humility. This can only be learned by lessons that involve what is c
onsidered failure on the material plane. On the soul level by failing on the mat
erial plane and learning humility, you have succeeded. If you do not learn humil
ity then another lesson is set up for you to learn from. Once the lesson of humi
lity is learned, you will not need to repeat it. Whatever you attempt after that
can be accomplished. No matter what the outcome of a situation, those souls tha
t you are working with in that lesson will see the results that they came to see
on the soul level. It is what we learn from our experiences and not the experie
nces themselves that make up the materials from which our lives are built. Take
ten people and give them the same experience, we find that each one of them will
see it in a different way. Each one will perceive it based upon the lesson that
his or her soul came to that situation to experience. Since all things here are
truly an illusion, they are each experienced based upon our personal illusion a
nd then on the level of the group illusion. However it happens and whatever happ
ens, we all will accomplish on the soul level what we came here to learn. There
is no reason to feel robbed of choice by destiny, or worry that the wrong choice
will ruin your destiny. All choices accomplish our destiny. It is through the c
hoices that we learn, it is because of the ability to make choices that we come
to this particular planet. It is our destiny that sets up the situations in whic
h we must make the choices and it is through making the choices that we reach ou
r destiny. We learn our lessons no matter what choice we make. We teach what we
are here to teach no matter what we do. We are each the student, the teacher, an
d the lesson. No matter how we react to our lives on earth, our soul is learning
. All of the lessons are predestined. It is through the souls journey we meet eac
h lesson. The journey is the lesson and each lesson is the adventure. We always
get where we are supposed to go, even though it may and is in many respects is n
ot exactly where we planned to go. It is however exactly where we planned to go
before we incarnated. The line that we are walking here is not a line in our tim
e; it is a line in lesson. It does not matter how long it takes us to reach a ce
rtain point, all of the things that we consider wrong turns and dead ends are me
rely the places we had to go to get what we needed to move to the next destinati
on. There are special relationships that we are here to have. Most of them are n
ot to be permanent, but all of them have a specific lesson within them or us to
learn. We are never with the wrong person, each person allows us to perfect some
part of ourselves. Each person in our lives reflects those things in us that we
need to focus on. We come from one Source and we journey towards returning to t
hat Source. While we are here on earth, we are learning that we are one. All of
the souls that we meet, all of the souls that inhabit the planet with us are one
.
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Chapter 40
ATTRACTION
We should not judge ourselves based upon what we attract into our lives, we shou
ld judge our lessons by those attractions.
Our first environment, which is our immediate family, will confront us first wit
h the issues and lessons that we will be dealing with in some form or another th
roughout our lives. How we create our personality will be in a direct response t
o this environment. We will develop either in accordance with it, or in an oppos
ite response to it. In whatever way that we respond to those beliefs and actions
of our early environment, we will carry with us the core issues that we will ne
ed to resolve throughout our lives. As we adapt to our surroundings we develop o
ur likes and dislikes in accordance with those of the people that we need to ple
ase in order to live in comfort. We mimic behaviors and adopt attitudes all of w
hich will make us feel like a we fit into our immediate circle. As we go out and
find friends in the neighborhood and in school we continue to adopt behaviors a
nd beliefs that are in some way a reflection of or a response to those behaviors
and beliefs which are accepted by our peer group. These parts of ourselves that
are not inborn, but are the product of our environment create an image a mask t
hat we wear. This image or mask is who we believe we are, should be or who we ar
e working on becoming. This image is like our clothing. We dress in a way that r
eflects the person that we either believe ourselves to be or the person that we
want to be. In either case this image, this suit of clothing is not exactly who
we are. It does not have the issues that we must deal with or the areas in which
we need growth. It is either a reflection of the best that we can be or it is a
reflection of the best that we believe we should be based upon what we were tau
ght by our early environment. By the time we reach adulthood we are very much co
mmitted to this image of ourselves. This persona that we wear is not a false fro
nt that we put on to fool anyone. We are no longer acting we are being. At one t
ime we tried to appear a certain way, however after years of acting a certain wa
y it becomes natural; it becomes automatic. Yet even though it is automatic it s
till is not all of who we are. It is more likely an image of who we are in the p
rocess of becoming. Throughout our lives our true natures and our true beliefs f
ind a way to surface. As they do we must either incorporate them into our image,
discard those parts of our image that are in contradiction to our true nature,
or in the case of the areas that we came here to work on, we must acknowledge th
ose aspects of ourselves. We must learn not to judge them but to understand and
correct them. When we project an image of who we are becoming, in that process o
f becoming we will attract to us people who exemplify on the outside or as their
image, those characteristics that will be a perfect
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compliment to the image that we project. However on the inside, or as we get to
know that person, they will mirror, or bring out in us those characteristics tha
t we are either trying to work on or those characteristics that we are here to w
ork on but that we are denying. We are in the process of becoming so long as we
are here on earth. Those souls that we agree to meet and work with on this plane
are not only in process themselves, they are working on complimentary issues. I
f we acknowledge those aspects of ourselves that we are trying to improve when w
e see those aspects of ourselves in others we will work together to correct them
. If we do not accept those aspects of ourselves, if we deny them, each time tha
t a person comes into intimate contact with us and mirrors those aspects, we wil
l react passionately to the actions or beliefs of that other person. We will eit
her push the other person away, or we will try to purge that behavior from that
person. All the while we are not recognizing that we would not have attracted th
e into our lives someone who acts in a certain way unless we ourselves we at lea
st capable of acting in that same way. Or that perhaps we need to address the sa
me core issue that is causing that response in the other person. We prevent ours
elves from growing because we cannot face the fact that this person is showing u
s what is within or what is needed within ourselves. There are many ways to resp
ond to a core issue. A person may have low self-esteem and respond to it be bein
g a bully, by intimidating others. Another person may have low self-esteem and r
espond to it be backing away from all tests of their personal worth. One yells s
o that you wont look and the other hides so that you wont see. The noisy one seems
so strong, secure and unafraid to the quiet one and the quiet one seems like so
meone who is sure enough of themselves not to have to make noise. This is a perf
ect match. When they become intimate and take off their clothes, so to speak, ea
ch sees that the other one is afraid of being exposed as not good enough. What h
appens at this point is determined by the desire of each soul to grow. Once a so
ul is truly committed to growth, that soul will recognize himself or herself in
the other person. They will respond not to the other person but through what the
y see in the other person to make the changes and allow the growth that is neede
d within themselves. They will work from within themselves to heal that issue an
d more truly align their behavior accordingly. If the soul has not yet reached a
point where growth is the priority, that soul will reject the other, judge the
other as wrong and either leave or constantly fight until the other one leaves.
I know someone who appears to be very directed in her life, yet inside, her grea
test fear is that she cannot find her own direction. She attracts partners who h
ave such dreams and desires that she believes that they are directed and focused
. Once they become intimate she finds that they too are as lost and scattered as
she is and she becomes repelled. If she were to confront this issue within hers
elf, and find her own direction and focus, she would not look to a partner to gi
ve it to her and would attract a partner that was not looking to her for the sam
e thing. When we seek a partner we seek a partner who will compliment us. Which
is exactly what we get. We will find a partner with an external image that is co
mplimentary to our external image and with internal issues that are complimentar
y to our internal issues. This is how we come to work together. We will each see
in each other those aspects that we admire and embrace within ourselves and tho
se aspects that we deny. How close we have come to accepting ourselves and growi
ng from that acceptance will be seen by those individuals that we attract into o
ur lives. Birds of a feather do flock together. The fewer the issues are that we
have to work on, the more intensified those issues will be seen in the people w
ho come into our lives. I am an astrologer and in astrology as in life, we must
each learn to balance our masculine and feminine energies. In the chart that mas
culine or aggressive energy is symbolized by the planet Mars. My greatest battle
has been my inability to access my Martian energy. I have extremely strong Mart
ian energy in
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my chart yet I have been repelled by it and so I have denied it as a part of mys
elf. For that reason I have always attracted to myself people who have excessive
Martian energy. The people in my life are always in a battle with someone. They
are always ready to attack or be attacked. In my presence this energy is exagge
rated. For my benefit, these people are carrying my Martian energy for me. For t
heir own benefit, this exaggeration is to cause them to see their own over aggre
ssiveness by seeing it in contrast to my total lack of aggression. If we constan
tly attract to ourselves people who are untrustworthy, it is because we have not
dealt with this characteristic within ourselves. Perhaps we detest this charact
eristic to such an extent that we would hate ourselves if we acknowledged that i
t was within us. The fact is that we do hate ourselves but because we do not ack
nowledge the problem, we do not know why we have this feeling towards ourselves.
We are in denial. I have known some women who have husbands who cheat on them.
They detest this and most men because they believe that this is what men do. The
problem is that in response to their husbands cheating, they themselves have ch
eated. Yet if you asked them if they cheated they would vehemently deny it. To t
hose women they did not cheat because they believe themselves to be justified th
erefore they did not cheat. They were driven to do what they did. Their husbands
cheated, yet to the husbands they too had justification. Once these women could
accept themselves as being capable of cheating for whatever reason, they could
then decide that they do not condone it but they understand it. With that accept
ance and understanding they could handle the issue and make decisions that were
best for themselves not simply in reaction to what the other did. No interperson
al drama is set up for or by only one person. Each party involved has a part in
its creation and a lesson to learn from it. When someone does something that we
feel they are doing to us, they are actually doing it for us, and with us. No on
e acts alone. We need to step back and find our what our participation is, and w
hat our benefit is. When we resolve our own part in the drama, we will resolve t
he drama. When we find and take what we need from it, it will then be over. If o
ur partner has not found what he or she needs to get from the situation, they wi
ll then be forced to recreate it with someone else because we will no longer hav
e a need to play. When a soul is evolved to a point that its growth and its perf
ection are the priorities, that soul will attract souls at the same level. They
will attract souls who are ready to recognize their own issues in their partners
, and will work together to grow from within themselves individually. It is natu
ral for us to have feelings about certain things that are wrong. It is natural f
or an honest person not to condone dishonesty. What should be a signal to us is
when we are constantly confronted with the same issues in our personal relations
hips. If we are continuously attracted to the same type of person who causes us
to suffer in some way, or whose behavior or attitudes repels us, there is someth
ing within ourselves that we are not dealing with. It is not the people who are
attracted to us that we must watch, but the people who we are attracted to. If o
ne is a teacher, that person will attract students, and if one is a healer, that
person will attract those who need healing. Yet if the healer is attracted to t
hose who need healing then that healer needs healing also. We all need to learn
balance. Whatever it is that we have too much of will cause us to be attracted t
o someone who does not have enough, and visa versa. Whatever we need to work on,
whatever area we need to grow that area will be brought into our lives through
the people we are attracted to. No matter where we go or with whom we are associ
ating, we are always looking within. One day when I was a child I decided to run
away with my girlfriend Beverly. When I reached her house to pick her up so tha
t we could run away she said that she changed her mind. When I asked her why,
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she said, There is no point in running away because everywhere I go, I go. I was 1
0 years old at the time, but that phrase has stayed with me all of my life. We c
annot run away from ourselves, not just because we are always there, but even mo
re importantly because we will meet ourselves in every person that we bring into
our lives, and we will meet our issues in every situation that we are confronte
d with. When we enter into a relationship with someone, that relationship is the
re as a part of our growth. That person is in our lives to help us see who we ou
rselves are. So often we need to project the problem onto someone else, tell our
selves that we must learn to avoid this type and that type of person. When we ta
ke this as the lesson, we find that we cannot do it. The reason is that if you d
ecide that you have oranges and God knows that the only way you will learn your
lesson is from eating an orange, He will disguise it as an apple. When we attrac
t someone who abuses power, it is because we ourselves are abusing our own power
by not using in appropriately. The person who is an abuser and the person, who
is abused, both have the same core issue. They come together in order to see the
ir issue and heal their issue through the other person. For each underlying issu
e there are many different ways of reacting. We will be attracted to people who
share our own underlying issue and who will show it to us in the way that will m
ost profoundly cause us to react. How we react is up to us as individuals. I hav
e met the same man dressed in more varied disguises than Mother Nature has color
s. I finally realized that I needed to embrace and release those parts of myself
from the guilt that was being magnified in the men who came into my life. I had
to acknowledge that even a blind man could not fall into the same hole that man
y times by accident. We never meet the wrong man or the wrong woman, we only mee
t those aspects of ourselves that we deny, or condemn, and by doing so, we are d
enying and condemning ourselves. We meet the perfect person for our needs and fo
r our growth. We will always meet the perfect opportunity to learn. We seek to a
ssociate with those people who exemplify the qualities that we want. We bond wit
h those people who exemplify the qualities that we have.
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Chapter 41
DEATH AS CHANGE
A seed becomes a flower; a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, it is not death, it
is change.
Death is not the end of life, it is the end of a form, the end of an experience.
We go to school and spend sometimes years with the same people, going from grad
e to grade lesson to lesson with each other until one day we graduate. Most of t
hese people whom we could never have imagined living without; are people we will
never see again. Our lives as we knew had lived that were so connected with the
se people will die. We each go on to build new lives in new places and no matter
how much we loved each other while we were together, the time comes to move on.
This is death. It is not the ending of a life, it is the ending of an experienc
e. The act of dying is simply the ceremony, the ritual attached to that moving o
n. There are many old souls who would rather die a thousand deaths than be born
once more. I was sitting with a friend of mine at the New Jersey shore, when she
told me about a man who was recently standing in the bay fishing when a helicop
ter fell out of the sky and landed on him. Needless to say, he died. She then re
marked that there was no doubt that it was his time. We all have our time it is
that moment when we have completed all that we came here to do. We establish, be
fore we incarnate all of the things that we are going to accomplish while here.
In some lives there are many major events that we need in order to complete our
mission, and our lessons. In others lives the lessons are very few, sometimes ev
erything we experience in our lives is only to support one lesson. Sometimes we
just come in to help another soul that we are close to, as in the case of many c
hildren who die very young. It is not for them that they come; it is to help the
ir families with a lesson and sometimes to effect the whole society as in the ca
se of Ryan White. The length of years that we spend here is not very often the i
ssue. There are times when in order to connect with all of the souls that we hav
e agreed to connect with we must spend many years, and other times the lesson it
self is to stay here and to stick it out until old age. Often the time of death
is chosen in order to fit in with lessons of those close to us. So there is our
time, that time when we graduate to the next level or need to move to another li
fe for our next set of lessons. When it is our time there is not reason for our
soul to stay incarnate. This has nothing to do with our ego attachment to being
here, the ego does not rule the lesson, and it is only one of the tests. Often w
e will place other points in our lives where we may or may not die and although
these points do not mark the end of our lesson here in this life, they still mar
k points where we may end our time here for whatever reason. Sometimes we need t
o come close to death in order to prepare for the next step in our lives. In oth
er cases we need to be brought to the point of choice as one of our lessons and
even other times we just need to know that if this particular lesson is a little
more difficult than we thought it would be, we can by agreement put it off. Eve
n these moments must be predetermined because we are committed to many other sou
ls and their lessons before we incarnate. Death is merely a change in form.
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Many times when someone comes to me for counseling it is because a soul on the o
ther side needs help completing the agreement made with the soul that they have
left. It is important to understand that when someone leaves his or her body, th
e connection that they had with the souls left behind does not end. The work tha
t we came together to do must be completed. Often I suggest that people sit in a
quite space and either talk with the person who is no longer incarnate or write
a letter to that person. As we do this we will receive impressions, that may se
em like our imagination, which are actually communication from the other soul wh
o is committed to finishing with us whatever was started. The work that we are d
oing on this plane to effect the earth and her willingness to continue to serve
us as a teacher is very important. Because of this the connections between souls
and the completion of their workings together are of vital importance and remai
ns much longer than they used to. The veil is lighter, which enables us to stay
together much longer and enables us to work whether incarnate or not to increase
our light and therefore the light here on Earth. We have to accept that everyth
ing has a beginning and an end. There comes a time when every situation is over.
When someone leaves us, it is important to let go of any guilt or any regret th
at we attach to that person or to our relationship with that person. The point o
f his or her moving on is that those issues at least for this lifetime are over.
It is a moving on for all parities concerned, not just the one who moves to the
other side. The fact is that the exchange is complete. Any guilt or regret shou
ld be redirected to positive changes for future situations. Nothing is left unfi
nished, we may not like the conclusion, but death is about as conclusive an endi
ng as we can get. When souls leave the earth plane they enter into a period of e
valuation. This is where they really resolve any lessons that they may have miss
ed concluding while here. When someone leaves us it is important for us to enter
into this same space. Not questioning our actions or their actions in a way tha
t cannot be answered; but in a way that seeks the lesson to be found and the way
to grow in accordance with that lesson. When someone or something leaves us it
is over. They are not over, they are just somewhere that we cannot see them. If
there were any reason for us to remain together we would, but they have given us
and we have given them all that was promised. Now they will move on with the gi
fts that they have received from us and we must do the same. When we were in sch
ool and we took a test, when the bell went off, or the teacher said put down our
pens, it was over. Over, ended, finished, completed, nothing more can be done,
let it go. There is nothing else that we should have done if it is over. There i
s nothing else that we could have done if it is over. All that is left is what w
e can do now. Where can we start from this point? When we do not close a door th
at is behind us, we keep falling backwards. Only that space that we keep falling
into is empty, only ghosts exist within it. We are supposed to be in the world
and not of it, well the truth is that we are in the world and there is nothing t
hat we can do to be of it. No matter how hard we try to become the things or peo
ple who are in our lives; no matter how hard we try to attach to our things or o
ur positions, or our loved ones, we cannot hold on. To hold on would be to stop
movement and anything that stops dies. When we leave this earth plane and look b
ack on our time here, it is neither the pain nor the joy that we remember, it is
the fullness, the richness of all of our experiences combined. It is the roller
coaster ride that is life that we long to return to.
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Chapter 42
MASTERS AMONG US
There are more masters among us today than ever in the history of our civilizati
on. When I say this I am saying that the Ascended Masters are walking incarnate
among us. This is not to say that St. Germaine is living next door to us. Howeve
r an aspect of St. Germaine is living next door to someone. The Ascended Masters
have sent many aspects of themselves to walk on the earth and help in this crit
ical time. Some of these souls know who they are because their work here is depe
ndent upon their knowing who they really are. Yet the majority of these souls do
not know. We may notice something strange about them, generally we will notice
something beautiful about their presence. Always there will be some powerful ene
rgy that draws us to their presence. They are here to help save mankind but they
will do this in many different ways. Some are here to create disruption, cause
some tragedy in order to wake up to the compassion and love for our fellow men t
hat lies dormant within us. They may just be here to hold light, and no one ever
even hears of them. Some may be schoolteachers, and some may be homemakers, her
e to touch the appropriate souls and bring out the light within them. Then again
some may be world leaders or spiritual leaders. It may often seem that somethin
g is very missing from them. They may seem too one sided. It could be that somet
hing seems to prevent us from feeling that they are really here. This is not bec
ause they are not here; it is because they are aspects, their purpose in physica
l form it is hard to explain in terms of our reality but in terms of Science fic
tion they are like holographic images. They live their lives, they experience ev
erything that everyone else experiences but their purpose is different and their
Higher Self is a little more active in their day to day activities. Every soul
incarnate now is here not just for his or her own evolution, but to save this pl
anet. Each soul here on earth at this time has taken on and is capable of carryi
ng great Universal Work. Many souls here could have chosen an easier time to do
their personal soul work. No one was recruited, all chose to perhaps delay their
own progress in order to guarantee that the Light on the earth will remain stro
ng enough to support all the souls of the Universe. We do not have a great deal
of time left. The veil between dimensions has been getting thinner so that all s
ouls, those in lesson and those who are not, can come together and work in uniso
n. I believe that although we do not see it yet, we are doing a great job.
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Chapter 43
A PARABLE
The Kingdom of God is like this:
There once was a loving and generous king. He built a beautiful kingdom in seven
years that was perfect he filled it with just enough food for all the subjects
he intended to invite into his kingdom. On one end of the wall that surrounded t
he kingdom he put a door. Then he invited his subjects in and told them that he
there was enough food for every one of them to be comfortable and well fed for s
even years. By the time the food would run out he would have completed on the ot
her side of the door an even grander kingdom with more abundance that any could
imagine. At the end of that period of seven years he would welcome them in. He a
sked only that they divide the food equally amongst themselves while he was gone
. During the seven years two thirds of his subjects became so thin from near sta
rvation while the other third became so fat that they were twice the size of the
doorway. One third of the people had consumed two thirds of the food. When the
king opened the door to the new kingdom with more food and treasure than the hea
rts of man could imagine he said, All are welcome who can fit through this doorwa
y.
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Chapter 44
A FINAL MESSAGE
We carry too much guilt and regret around with us. It is not a matter of forgivi
ng ourselves because to forgive ourselves is to acknowledge that we did wrong. W
e did not do anything wrong. At each step on our journey we have obtained more i
nformation and more experiences In each moment that we have acted in ways that w
e feel require forgiveness; we were acting based upon our beliefs. We cannot spe
ll correctly if we do not yet know the entire alphabet. We will do the best we c
an with what we have. It is releasing ourselves from judgment that will allow us
to move on with a clean slate. Today I would not do all of the things that I di
d yesterday. That does not put me in a position to judge what I did yesterday ba
sed upon who I am today. All actions are appropriate to who and where we were at
that time. And all actions that we have done, have lead us to where we are and
who we are today. We come here to learn and to grow. Our souls journey is from wh
at we bring into this life to what we take from it when we leave. If we did not
have anything to learn, if we were complete and perfect enough to judge ourselve
s we would not be here. We learn though trial and error. Our actions are always
appropriate to our level of growth. We are perfecting. We are not perfect, and s
o we need not try to be. Only one who is perfect can judge anyone including hims
elf or herself. We are truly works in progress. It is from the progress that we
grow and from our actions and our experiences that we learn. They are not good o
r bad, they are in the state of perfecting. We are not here to be perfect, just
to be perfected. The way to happiness in this life is to realize that we have to
take life with a grain of salt. We need to drink the lessons that we can from t
he difficult experiences, and drink the joy that we can from the wonderful exper
iences and throw the containers away. We need to use the experiences in our live
s not live them. No matter how good a movie script is or how good the actors are
it is still a movie. We lose ourselves while we watch it, we almost become a pa
rt of the story, but in the end, we get up and go home. That is life. No matter
how real it seems, no matter how engaging the roles are, we need to always remem
ber that in the end, the lights will go on and we will get up and go home.
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ASTROLOGY, NUMEROLOGY AND MY JOURNEY
Those people who were born in the midst of World War II were born during an envi
ronment that was charged with fear and pessimism. Those people who were born in
the years right after the war were born into an environment of elation and optim
ism. Those people who were born during the great depression were again born with
a certain energy that pervaded their being as they grew. The same applies to th
e children born during the 60s, the 70s, the 80s and the 90s. Each period in time ha
s a certain energy; this energy affects the lives and future attitudes of those
born during those times. A psychologist can determine many things about the futu
re lives of babies based upon the attitudes and beliefs of the period in which t
hey were born. The psychologist would attribute those attitudes and beliefs on t
he attitudes and beliefs prevalent within the society in which they were born. A
n Astrologer would come to the same conclusion based upon the placement of the p
lanets at that time. When a child is born, that child is born to a certain set o
f parents, at a certain moment in time. This child is reacting to attitudes and
beliefs of the immediate family into which he or she is born. This family is rea
cting at this time to the environment into which they were born along with the e
nvironment in which they are living at the time of the childs birth. Up to this p
oint, we are all on the same page. When you study astrology you learn that the e
nvironment into which a child is born and the environment around each moment tha
t we live, is not created by but is reflected by the placement of the planets. Y
ou are not the way you are because your moon is in Aquarius, but the way that yo
u act is reflected by the moon being in Aquarius at the time of your birth. If y
ou move one step further, every planet in the Cosmos is Gods creation. Therefore
how these planets reflect our lives must be part of Gods Plan. Someone would tell
you that if you must go out during a rainstorm you should wear a raincoat, and
carry an umbrella. This is advising one based upon the atmosphere outside. It wo
uld be reasonable to predict that there would be more car accidents during a hea
vy storm also. This is not much different than Astrological or Numerological div
ination. An Astrologer might tell you not to sign any contracts or purchase any
mechanical devices during Mercury retrograde. A Numerologist might tell you that
this year 1999 is a one year so there will be many new beginnings Universally.
They may tell you that you are personally in a number nine year, therefore many
things in your life will be coming to an end in order to make room for the new.
That is simply basing advice upon energy, an environment so to speak at the time
. When I was twenty-seven I was going through a very difficult time. I had just
finished therapy because I realized that it could not help me anymore. It seemed
to me at that time that the things that were happening to me were coming from t
he outside and not from the inside. It was at this time that I met an Astrologer
who asked me if he could do my chart. I did not really believe in it, but just
for fun I let him.
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This was a life changing experience. To me he appeared to be looking at a circle
with some squiggles on it, but through this circle he told me things about myse
lf that me took years of therapy to uncover. He told me things about myself that
I would not even admit in therapy. Then he told me about the difficult period t
hat I was going through and when it would end. All that I could hear in my head
at that time was, This too shall pass. I saw astrology as a way for me to understa
nd people and not judge them. I saw astrology as a way for me to understand that
life is cyclical and no matter how difficult the time that I was passing throug
h was, it would pass. It was not occult or metaphysical to me. It was truth. Som
ehow in the moment that I was born Gods Universe was carrying a certain energy pa
ttern. That energy pattern was ascribed to planetary positions. Astrology empowe
red me. Now my healing was no longer dependent upon with whether or not I could
fix my parents, or my relationship with them. My healing was dependent upon unde
rstanding my own planetary positions. I could fix myself through understanding m
yself. This was a gift, it changed my life and I hoped by understanding it I cou
ld then change the lives of others. Soon after this I discovered Numerology. Thi
s made even more sense to me because everything in the Universe translates to so
me numeric pattern. Even music translates to some numeric pattern. Numerology ga
ve me an understanding of my life path. Both Numerology and Astrology showed me
that everything has a season. These gifts came into my life at a time when I was
so lost and so deep in hopelessness that I was considering suicide. There were
many people who later said to me that these things were evil. They said that the
se were the tools of the devil. It was in a moment of my life when I was about t
o commit a great sin, suicide, and thereby giving my soul over to the devil that
these things were brought into my life. Why would the devil send into my life s
omething that not only saved me by preventing the possibility of suicide, but in
tensified my belief in God and His Perfect Plan? Evil cannot put hope into ones h
eart and God into ones life. Astrology and Numerology did this for me. If the Dev
il brought these things into my life, he has either converted to doing good work
s, or we give him much too much credit. It is important that it is not the tool
that is evil it is the intention of the user. A knife can cut our food, remove a
tumor that is cancerous, or stab someone to death. There is no inherent evil in
the knife. Everything in the Universe came from God and is therefore inherently
good. It is our free will, which allows us to have our intentions, and our inte
ntions are what determine good and evil. A woman who thought that she was very h
ealthy went to see wonderful Channel that I know, Hans Christian King, and Hans
told her that there was a mass in her abdomen. She went to the doctor and had hi
m check and it was there. He saved her life, I believe that God sent her to him
to learn this information. Who else would? To heal or to harm are our choices. B
oth of those words begin with the letter h. That letter vibrates to the number eig
ht, if you look at it 8 it is pictured by two equal loops above and below. It vibr
ates to the right use of will. To heal represents the loop on top and the loop o
n the bottom being balanced. To harm represents the loop on the bottom being lar
ger than the loop on the top. To manage the power that we have we must balance.
The balance of spiritual and material energies is represented by the number eigh
t.
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