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Book Reviews

What Every Man Wants in a Woman; What Every Woman Wants in a Man
John and Diana Hagee, ISBN 1-59185-723-6, Charisma House
This a dual book bounded into one, written by a husband and wife, but not from the viewpoint of
the authors but from their experiences and research done and the things written down by men and
women about what they want in a partner. In both the sections of the book, each of the author’s
also draws a parallel to the section written by the other to illustrate the differences in the way a
man and a woman thinks.
What Every Man Wants in a Woman – John Hagee
The author starts his book by listing the top ten things a man wants in a woman in order of
importance and then bases the rest of the book there upon. In addition to the information shared
with men, each chapter also contains a special section for women titled “Hints for Her” to assist
women in giving a man what he needs.
Conflicting expectations are the source of most unhappiness in marriage. If you are entering into
marriage with high expectations but with low preparation, you are going to be disappointed. A
hasty courtship can often lead to a marriage relationship that is a disaster. Allow enough time for
infatuation to die and for true love and spiritual attraction to develop. Marriage is the act of two
incompatible people learning to become compatible via compassionate compromise. The author
discusses the following four differences every man and woman must learn to accept:
- The woman’s right-brain caring versus the man’s left-brain logic
- Enjoying the process versus accepting the goal
- Spiritual authority versus feminine manipulation
- The Days of Wine and Roses versus the Days of Thunder and Lightning
In 1 Corinthians 7:2 Paul commanded “Let each man have his own wife”. This means s~x
outside of marriage is absolutely forbidden. The implication in 1 Corinthians 7:3 is that God does
not only expect the man to be loyal, but He also expects him to be a lover. Several Scripture
references to various pages are given to show that the Bible is indeed a book for Lovers.
The author discusses his interpretation of the 7 things listed below he thinks God says Woman
wants from men based on Ephesians 5, and teaches some communication skills in between.
- Women want a man to love them completely, passionately and romantically.

you will not like your neighbor. Stop putting up with problems in your love relationship and take steps toward change. Take charge of your life or someone else will. Learn to laugh – It is important to learn to laugh together. Love fades in the environment of neglect.Women want a man who can truly understand that women are divinely different and that they aren’t going to change. no marriage counsellor could keep your marriage together. you will lose. A marriage built upon s~xual excitement alone is doomed to failure and jealousy is the way to drive your wife off without trying. Stop believing that you do understand her. because she does not understand herself. acknowledge it and apologize. There is no adversity that cannot be overcome if two human beings are willing to totally forgive each other and not allow the past to control their future. Change is painful but if there is no pain. Marriage problems related to addictions. Love is not a license to change or to control your partner. walk your own road. There will come a time when you will need to give love to your spouse even if it is not deserved. . alcoholism and homos~xuality can all be overcome if you are willing to confess everything in your life that resents and resists the perfect will of God. .Women want non s~xual affection. Don’t let your parent’s marriage control yours. abuse and imprisonment that survived and became stronger than what they ever were. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a relationship in your life if that person does not meet your spiritual requirements for a lifetime partner. Feel great about yourself. Have the unconditional love of God one for the other. When you make a mistake. If you cannot accept responsibility for what you have become and for the things you do. Learn to forgive yourself for not being perfect. It is certain that if you do not like yourself. Put love first to make love last. The author narrates three real-life stories about marriages in situations of adultery.Women want mutual submission. but together with your spouse. The love you refuse to give. . there is no gain. What you are willing to walk away from will determine what God can bring you to. hostility and resentment. Happiness is a choice and you will only be as happy as you make up your mind to be. In accordance with Proverbs 23:7. Stop playing the blame game. . what you believe to be so becomes so. not at each other.Women want spiritual intimacy. Jealousy turns conversations into inquisitions.Women want emotional intimacy. Your attitude is contagious and is never content until it is expressed and determines your success or your failure. .. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. God is greater than anything you may face in your marriage.

You can win an argument but lose your marriage. The author provides some clear practical steps as a way out of alcoholism.Live in s~xual freedom . not before.Totally forgive and forget the past . Without love.Common personality traits existing among alcoholics are traits developed after the addiction. but Diana sums up God reasons for marriage as: . When it stops flowing. Poor communication is generally the result of poor hearing. John Hagee concludes hid part of the book with an in depth discussion of love as described by the Apostle Paul 1 Corinthians 13.To become one flesh . The Bible says in 1 John 4:8. you are nothing. The second most important decision you will make is who you will marry.Start communicating today . These choices will contribute to your future happiness and whether you will be able to serve the Lord to your maximum potential. The first step toward making your marriage an affair-proof marriage is to determine that both of you want to improve your marriage. words are a transcript of the mind. love is what you do. for God is love”.Realize that submission in the Bible means mutual submission . your marriage dies. In accordance with Matthew 12:34-37. What Every Woman Wants in a Man .Reference for the marriage relationship Love is not what you feel. Alcoholism has no known physical cause and an unhappy childhood is not a primary cause of addiction. “He who does not love does not know God. Priest and Prophet of his family . The alcoholic plans his day around drinking and hides behind “excuses”. Alcoholism or drunkenness of any kind is clearly forbidden in Galatians 5:1921. There are many reasons why people get married.Eliminate the absentee father . but not without you planning to make it happen.The Husband is the King.Diana Hagee The most important decision you will make in your life is whether you receive Jesus Christ as your Savior. Your marriage can sizzle. The author discusses the following steps to Marriage Survival: .

A woman wants a man who is confident in himself. You must submit to God before you can submit to any man. Submission is not an act of the will. However. A husband is commanded to find satisfaction (Prov 5:19) and joy (Eccles 9:9) with his wife and to concern himself with meeting her unique needs (Deut 24:5 and 1 Pet 3:7). . preparation and planning (Song of Sol 4:9).For mutual service What women want in a man may not be what God wants them to have. The man usually begins conversing with a close female friend and this friendship then develops into a deeper relationship of trust and desire.For committed love . you must have someone to lead. in her and their relationship.S~x is God-given and designed to be pleasurable. and that the husband should love and respect his wife. . The author discusses the following Biblical facts about s~x that should be acknowledged: . not a suggestion. comfort. to be a leader. Each chapter also provides a section titled.. who can lead her and her children with kindness and understanding and who consults the Lord and her before any major decision is made. It is the woman’s responsibility to submit to his leadership. interest (Song of Sol 4:16 and 5:2) and sensitivity to her husband’s needs (Gen 24:67). The author tries to equip women to receive from others what they need in order to be the best women. A wife should respect the position of husband as father and priest and the husband should respect the position of woman as wife and mother. The author expands and discusses the above in depth. The author describes and discusses two forms of respect. The second form of respect is linked to the person and . A wife is responsible for availability (1 Cor 7:3-5). wives and mothers God intended them to be. The antonym of submission is resistance. The first is a form of regard for the position held by an individual.God created s~x to have purposeful boundaries.The God-given purpose for s~xual intimacy are unity. The Word of God states that wives should respect their husbands through submission to their authority. it is a condition of the heart. Submission is a mandate. The author also supplements her section with additional information contributed by Dr Anne Reed.God created s~x to be both a physical and spiritual bond. a pastoral care counselor. procreation and as a defense against temptation. . Submission is one of the most difficult actions you will ever undertake as a Christian woman. “Hints for Him”. Every woman wants to know without a doubt that her partner is completely loyal to her in thought and deed. Adultery does not occur overnight.

a wife with a smiling face. it is dishonesty. Without trust. dreams and goals for the future is to . It is not honesty that drives a wedge into a marriage. One of the greatest services a woman can perform for her husband is to respect him in thought. In this case the woman must wait on the Lord to convince her husband. a solid marriage foundation cannot be build. Some men struggle with honesty and some husbands find it easy to lie to their wives about minor things. Recalling the events of a day allows both to practice current honesty. but they can never be the same again without the restoration of Jesus. God provided for our needs to be met by defining the roles of men and women. Be willing to share with each other the things in your past that happened to you. A man who rejects the principle of tithing cannot understand the feelings of a woman who believes and trusts in the Word of God regarding prosperity. This is a question that must be settled before the marriage takes place. Truthfulness and Honesty are absolutes in life and they must never be compromised. trust and gratitude. but won’t provide for his family. Lies will always be exposed sooner or later and they will do irreparable damage to the marriage. Honesty is defined as a refusal to lie. in word and in action. Her husband should be able to have full confidence in her and should lack nothing of value because of her management of the household budget in accordance with Proverbs 31:1112. Set goals for your family and stay focused on them. neat appearance and home. his wife and the Lord. clean and well behaved children and a car clear of debris gives a husband encouragement. but in her not trusting him with the truth. Others manipulate or control their wives by the lies they tell. Bless your spouse and your children daily. In 1 Timothy 5:8. is one who has abandoned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. To forget something is not the same thing as avoiding to tell about something. A clean. A woman will be held accountable for how she helps her husband maintain financial order within the marriage. hopes. Respect at this level is earned. a man can with the help of God and his wife. Revealing your thoughts. and in the mean time she must be obedient to her husband’s expressed with love. Pray daily with your spouse for your children. The thing a woman wants most is security on all levels. A wife must partner with her husband and not compete for his leadership over the children. They can be broken and they can be mended. It is important that a woman makes her husband feel needed. learn to be honest in the marriage relationship. plans. In order to get an honest relationship. Raising a family that loves the Lord takes a three-way partnership – the husband. even if it is things you consider to be failures or weakness. cheat or deceive in any way. you must contribute honesty to the relationship. When a problem with dishonesty is acknowledged. A family man spends quality time with the whole family as well as with each child. It will be difficult for a husband to give emotional support if the wife does not openly express her emotions to him. A husband’s biggest disappointment is not what happened to his wife in the past. A man who doesn’t feel needed is not going to provide. the Bible teaches that the man who can. A parent is only as happy as their saddest child. Pray for your children’s spouses early in their lives.

Praise him (Song of Solomon 4:7) .Give him gifts (Song of Solomon 7:13) . Humor is not laughing at someone else’s expense. In order to accomplish their purpose. In Matthew 5:1-12. one day at a time. these men had to have a very supportive and godly woman by their side. Humor requires that two people see the same thing as funny. To manipulate the facts to create a false impression is dishonest. Not telling the whole truth is the same as telling a lie.Tell him you love him (Song of Solomon 1:7) . Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows. The author quotes the columnist Ann Landers who makes a clear distinction between infatuation and romantic love: “Infatuation is instant desire – one set of glands calling to another. The word “Blessed” in this passage also means “Happy”. Moses or David.” The author then shares seven things a woman can do for her man to generate romance in her marriage based on Song of Solomon: .Loyalty (Song of Solomon 6:3) The author sketches some scenarios of what it might have been like to be married to a Godly man like Noah.experience future honesty.Surprise him (Song of Solomon 2:10) . To provide partial information that leads your spouse away from the complete truth is deception. They were all flawed individuals chosen by a flawless God to do His will. nine kinds of people are listed who are happy. Laughter can change everything. Learn to laugh at yourself and allow laughter to diffuse anger.Prepare a special meal for him (Song of Solomon 2:5) . . The author then discusses what it means to be a Godly man in today’s time and how a woman can help her husband becoming a Godly man. Abraham. It is very difficult to have a great sense of humor without being a happy person.The power of your touch (Song of Solomon 1:2) .