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Puzzling
Thoughts/Eric
Albert

So Damn Dull

)
PuzzlingThoughts
Contest#12 Results(May/June)...................
3
puzzlessodamndull?
Why arecrossword
Letters
3
I askmyselfthisquestiona lot, usuallywhenglancingover
CoverStory by HeleneHovanec
yetanothersetof ttremeentriesthatpunonthenamesof French
'GodBless
theFranklin'............................
5 painters. Then I rememberthe
answer: becausethey're
Two RossOriginals..
..............
7 requiredto be.
Themesand Cluesfrom RossPuzdes.....9
I'm not makingthis up. Honest. We all know what's
entertaining:
sexandviolence.Especiallysex. But checkout
the First Commandment
on every puzzlepublication'sstyle
sheet:"Avoid all references
to sexandviolence."
And that's just the beginning. Crosswordcreatorsare
AnatomicalAberrationsby ErnieFurtado.......4
CinematicConfusionby D. J.DeChristopher..
4 routinelygiven a long list of subjectsthey can't mention.
drugs.Diseases
anddeath.Even,for oneprominent
Ouch! bv Shirlev Solowav
6 Drinksand"bad
publisher,
news."
Buy Lines by Nancy Salomon
8
Sometimesspecific entriesare verboten. No, not your
Military Surplusby MannyNosowsky........10
favoritefour-letterfriends. Wordslike "bra," "mai-tai," and
CodeWords by FredPiscop
........10 "Xmas." And whenwasthelasttimeyousaw"gay" cluedby
Stonedby R. M. Hopkins
..............11somethinglike "Like Liberace"? Right - just after they
UneasyStreetby Mel Rosen
.......12 electedthatnon-Catholicpope.
Theserestrictionson wordsand cluesare fierce,but they
In theLuggageCompartment
pale
choice.Nothing
Frances
Hansen......
by
....,.......13 whencomparedto thelimitsputontheme
"Is sex
(there
risqu6,
goes
of
course
Woody
Allen's
dirty?Only
Pun Namesby ShirleySoloway....................14
if it's doneright"). Nothingto do with religionor politics(so
Devetoping
Ticsby CathyMillhauser
15
..............
muchfor "GeorgeBush- thefirst presidentto havea league
Who's Where?by RichardSilvestri
15 namedafter him.).
Nothing controversial,and nothingthat
EnduranceRecordby MannyNosowsky.....
16 refers to anythingcontroversial(au revoir to "Laundromat
Mensa Modesty by RandolphRoss
T7 sign:life'sa bleachandthenyoudry.").Basically,if someone,
FinancialHoldingsby JanetR. Bender........
L8 somewhere,
might actuallycare aboutit, it can't go in a
Off With TheirHeads!by LouisSabin...........19crossword.
From AzuretoZaffer by JohnGreenman.......20 Imagineif theselimits were applied to other forms of
"Sorry,
yourmoviecan't contain
TheySaidIt byCharles
R.Woodard
..................21entertainment."We Mr. Scorsese,
any
violence."
your
like
style,Ms. Landers,but you
PagingBerlitzby EricAlbert
......22
simply mustn'tdiscusssexualmatters." "Remember,Mr.
Playgroundsby JamesHarveyEstes
.............
22 Leno,no jokesaboutpoliticians."
AroundtheDial by MarkDiehl....................23Are we havingfun yet? Of coursenot. Becausethethings
Crafu Fair by CathyMillhauser
......26 thatmakeussweat,thethingsthatmakeushot,thethingsthat
Rewound bv PeterPaine
27 makeus uncomfortable,arepreciselythethingsthatmakeus
Meeting
Manny
Miller
UN
by
27 feelmostalive. We cannevertouchpeople'sheartswithout
steppingon theirtoes.
CONTESTPUZZLE #I4:
Sowho'sbehindall therules,anyway?It's certainlynotthe
No Gimmicksby RichardSilvesti
28
editors. I'm friendswith mostof themandthesefolks areas
kinky as ttreycome. Could it be the solvers,a groupoften
describedassuperciliousandsupersensitive,
readyto pounce
ontheslightest
hintof impropriety?
Perhaps,
butthisconfuses
Cryptic Crossword#1
causeandeffect.
by Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon..........24
If youforceamediumtobeblandandspiritless,
you'llattract
Cryptic Crmsrvord#2 by RosalieMoscovitch....24 only the fans you deserve. In truth, the rules are merely
Split DecisionsrMby GeorgeBredehorn.
.......25 symptomsof a muchdeeperproblem: most peoplein the
business,
includingpublishers,
editors,andevenconstructors
just don't takecrossword
themselves,
puzzlesseriouslyas a
Classifieds
29 form of entertainment.
SOLUTIONS
,..........29-31 And that'snot funnv.

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September/October
1993