4 The Vanderbilt Hustler | Friday, March 4, 2005

Opinion
pinion
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech,
or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to
petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

VANESSA HOO, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF EDITORIAL CARTOON BY AYUMI FUKUDA

MICHAEL HARTNEY, MANAGING EDITOR

TAYLOR SMITH, MANAGING EDITOR
JACQUELINE WILDE, MANAGING EDITOR
ALLISON REEVES, ADVERTISING DIRECTOR
BILL GRADY, ADVERTISING MANAGER
ASHLEY WHITNEY, OFFICE MANAGER

OUR VIEW

Make the most of it

By the end of today, the last day of class before spring break,
students should have finished their midterm exams and papers,
and thoughts of snow, home, beaches or just free time should
dance in their heads.
The tradition of spring break is an integral part of the college
experience. Before high school students even begin their college
careers, popular culture indoctrinates them with the notion that
spring break for university students is the ultimate party in the
nation. Whether you watch MTV or see a commercial for “Girls
Gone Wild,” most rising college students have a preconceived
notion that spring break inevitably involves inebriation, intoxi-
cation or some form of nudity.
Although the nefarious activities listed above are not with-
out their charm, we encourage caution and safety throughout
this upcoming vacation. As many seniors will say, your time at
Vanderbilt as an undergraduate passes quickly and four spring
break vacations do not suffice once a student realizes he or she
has none left.
Therefore, make the most of your time off so it truly can be
memorable, instead of having to relive the moments through LETTER TO THE EDITOR
pictures you don’t remember taking.
So whether you are going to a warm-climate vacation hot spot
with your friends or just heading back home to be with your fam-
ily, value the time you spend with them. For as we get closer and Kentucky-fried cruelty In response to ‘Matthews II:
closer to graduation to make that giant step into the “real world,”
the time with close friends in college and family at home most To the Editor: ket heavily to African Americans... Christians may deceive’
likely will dwindle. Being that Rev Al Sharpton will obviously hoping we won’t care
If you have decided to spend your break helping out with be appearing at Vanderbilt’s IM- about what they do to the under- the earth, and his angels
To the Editor:
some type of volunteer project, such as Alternative Spring Break, PACT Symposium on March 21st dog...So, if KFC wants to take our were cast out with him.
I am writing in response
Habitat for Humanity or another service endeavor, we would like at Langford, I wanted to bring to money and use it to pay for sloppy Related verses are Isaiah
to Mike Matthews’ column
to commend you for donating your time and energy to a good light an issue that both he and I practices that hurt animals—I say 14:12-15 and Revelation
in February 28’s Hustler in
cause. Community aid and involvement makes a contribution are passionate about. As some we send them a message that this 12:4. I am not saying this to
which he called himself an
that lasts for much longer than the single week that constitutes may already know, Kentucky Fried is not going to happen. I’m call- nitpick an error in a column.
“… atypical theologian in
spring break. Chicken has been exposed as a ing on people to boycott KFC until Rather, I am saying this as a
that [he] actually read[s] the
Lending your hand to help other people in the world can company that tortures its chickens they adopt animal welfare systems basis for my personal re-
Bible (instead of accepting
prove to be more valuable than a trip to the Bahamas. Further- in “ways that would result in felony recommended by PETA and until quest that Mr. Matthews not
someone else’s misinter-
more, college is the time for such acts of servitude because now cruelty-to-animals charges if cats they stop the worst abuses of the allow truth and fiction to
pretation of non-religious
is when time is more readily available, compared with a few years or dogs were the victims, but KFC birds they raise for their restau- mix in his articles and that
texts as gospel truth)…”
down the road when our occupations or careers will be the pri- refuses to make changes” (source: rants” (source: KentuckyFriedCru- he not make sweeping ac-
He then goes on to say that
mary consumer of our time. KentuckyFriedCruelty.com). Acts elty.com). cusations, such as asserting
“…one [such misinterpreta-
Moreover, even if you decided to take a rest, don’t fail to reflect such as live scalding, crippling In summary, chickens are intel- that the Church “prospers
tion] I fell into is the fallacy
on your time outside the Vandybubble. Experience can be a far under their own unnatural weight, ligent animals with distinct per- through the ignorance of
of believing that the Bible
greater teacher than textbooks, but usually only if an individual and de-beaking without pain kill- sonalities that rival those of cats its members” or saying that
explicitly mentions Satan’s
takes time to reflect on what he or she has learned. ers are only a few of the repulsive and dogs. They also feel pain; just “…by and large the Church
descension or some divine
Regardless of the spring break path you choose to tread, we cruelties that KFC subjects it’s over like any other living being. I ask (especially the Catholic
battle before time began.
hope it is enjoyable and one that will be looked upon as a fond 750 million chickens to each year. any and all to take a stand against Church) is in the business
Neither of these is in the Bi-
memory in the future. Al Sharpton, who is well- KFC (and any other corporation of misinformation” when he
ble, but instead they come
Have a good break! known for his strong convictions that abuses animals) by visiting himself makes misinform-
from John Milton’s ‘Paradise
and ability to speak out for what KentuckyFriedCruelty.com or Lost.’” ing claims that directly con-
he believes in, has taken on the PETA.org for more information. Scripture, however, states tradict scripture.
daunting task of trying to get KFC The only way to make change is to in Revelation 12:7: While I do take issue
to eliminate the nastiest abuses become active. The best thing that 7 And there was war with this and other state-
OPINION POLICY that their chickens suffer (which anyone can do for animals is to go in heaven: Michael and ments in the article, there
have all been ignored since PETA’s vegetarian but everyone can write his angels fought against are some things in it with
The Vanderbilt Hustler opinion edit and condense submissions for length a letter or not supporting com-
original request back in May the dragon; and the drag- which I agree, and I think I
page aims to stimulate discussion in as well as clarity.
the Vanderbilt Community. The Hustler Lengthy letters that focus on an issue 2001). Since KFC has recently an- panies like KFC by not avoiding on fought and his angels, understand your point Mr.
welcomes reader viewpoints and offers affecting students might be considered for nounced its plans to market more them altogether. Do not let this go 8 And prevailed not; nei- Matthews. However, if you
three methods of expression: letters to a guest column at the editor’s discretion. seriously to African American con- on any longer. Take action. Let us ther was their place found truly wish to help the Chris-
the editor, guest columns and feedback on All submissions become the property sumers, Sharpton has called on be the voice for the chickens who any more in heaven. tian Church, please be more
our Web site. of The Vanderbilt Hustler and must con- the African American population cannot cry out for help. 9 And the great dragon was careful with your words in
Letters must be signed and will ap- form to the legal standards of Vanderbilt to stay away from KFC until they cast out, that old serpent, the future.
pear as space permits each issue. Letters Student Communications, of which the improve the welfare of their chick- Cat Opderbeck called the Devil, and Satan, Dan Maxwell
should in response to something already Hustler is a division. Submit a typed Senior, Peabody College
ens. He says, “KFC is not black which deceiveth the whole Junior, School of Engineering
published in the paper, and should be copy of your response to the Hustler
around 300 words. All letters must be office, located in Sarratt 130, or e-mail owned, but it sure knows to mar- world: he was cast out into
typed. The editor reserves the right to editor@vanderbilthustler.com.

COLUMN
CORRECTION POLICY

Accuracy is our profession. As the

“Voice of Vanderbilt,” we are committed
to ensuring our work is fair and accurate
Bring corrections to the Hustler
office in Sarratt 130 or send an e-mail to
editor@vanderbilthustler.com. You may
Law-breaking an underage rite of passage

”
and will correct errors of substance on also fax them to (615) 322-3706 or report
Page 2. them by telephone to (615) 322-2424. Anyone who has been carded at I think that using numbers MTV-sponsored Super Bowl half-
the movie theaters in the year 2005 to gauge the limits of restrictive time show in which Janet Jackson
to ensure that he or she is mature measures put on entertainment, exposed her breast on national
News Editors Sean Seelinger Vibe Editor Kelly Taylor enough to witness violence, graph- driving and alcohol consumption television highlights the overreac- Ultimately, this form
Rachel Stevens Asst. Vibe Editor Clare Scalzi marks an effort to create author- tion of a nation that is determined of law-breaking
Lindsey Windham Frontiers Editor Ximena Levander ity where it does not rightfully ex- to pretend it is still innocent. Per-
Asst. News Editors Meredith Casey Editorial Cartoonist Ayumi Fukuda SICK AND TIRED ist. All of these age limits do almost haps the most interesting part of and immorality is
Megan Ceryanec Art Director John Maynard
Lisa Guo Webmaster Osman Jalloh nothing to stop the moral decline this controversy occurred when a condoned right of
pascha
Debra Lewis Designers Brielle Bryan of society nor prevent dangerous CBS considered fining the people
Julio Lupo Becca Carson BROWN behavior. responsible for this incident; I passage that uni-
Features Editors Gabe Morris Eleasa Kim
Mary C. Shamblin Laura Kim ic language and sexual content can If anything, stipulating that peo- wonder what price would have fies the repressed,
Laney Woolfolk Copy Editors Margaret Butzow speak at length about the absur- ple must reach a certain age to earn adequately compensated CBS for underaged commu-
Opinion Editors Aden Johnson Erica Ermann the right do certain “adult things” its pain and suffering caused by
Ilya Gurevic dity of age limits. The entire two
Ashley Mallinson
minutes a movie attendant spent just stirs up rebellion and makes actions that made them look like nity in a country that
Michael Wilt Tim Kustusch
Asst. Opinion Editor Pascha Brown Stephanie Madden looking at my identification to ver- unlawful, underage behavior more actors corrupting the American tells children what
Eric Kacker Production Manager Rosa An ify that I was ready to watch an R exciting. There is an entire counter- people. The price probably would
Ashley Zaleski Gabe Morris cultural movement to aid and abet have been a number as random as they can’t handle in
Sports Editors Joshua Cooper Ad Design Manager Andrea Johnson rated film this past weekend gave
Greg Roberts Ad Designer Lisa Guo me time to reflect, “Why is 17 the the numerous pre-teens and teens the age at which the network exec- public, they can buy
Asst. Sports Editors Geoff Combs John Thompson age at which I can handle viewing who feel compelled to test the ef- utives deem someone old enough
Jordan Mamorsky Sharon Yecies
in private.
‘adult situations’? What makes age ficiency of age restrictions. to see Janet Jackson’s nipple.
Photo Editors Jeff Bowen Ad Staff Emily Lineberger MTV stands as today’s most In addition to MTV, there are
Jonathan Dietz Daniel Ross 16 the right time for me to drive?
Evan Hyde Most importantly, is it really neces- obvious example of a company other companies who play a more
VSC Director Chris Carroll sary for so many people to pretend dedicated to pushing traditional subtle role in prematurely exposing
Asst. VSC Director Jeff Breaux expectations for age groups. The
they are 21 in order to drink?” Please see BROWN, page 5

Your voice doesn’t stop here. President Andrew Maxwell President Austen Heim U.S. Sen. Bill Frist U.S. Sen. Lamar Alexander Rep. Jim Cooper Rep. Edith Langster Sen. Douglas Henry, Jr. Councilor Ginger Hausser
The Vanderbilt Hustler encourages Student Government Assoc. Interhall United State Senate United States Senate U.S. House of Rep. Tenn. District 54 Tenn. District 21 Metro District 18
its readers to voice their opinions 1542 Station B austen.m.heim@vanderbilt. Washington, DC 20510 Washington, DC 20510 Washington, DC 20515 35 Legislative Plaza 11 Legislative Plaza 521 Chesterfield Avenue
on legislative issues. The following sga@vanderbilt.edu edu (202) 224-3344 (202) 224-4944 (202) 225-4311 Nashville, TN 37243-0154 Nashville, TN 37243-0021 Nashville, TN 37212
students and legislators represent Sarratt 359 Sarratt 357 (615) 352-9411 (615) 736-5129 (615) 736-5295 (615) 741-1997 (615) 741-3291 (615) 783-0106
the Vanderbilt Community. (615) 322-8742 (615) 421-7515
Friday, March 4, 2005 | The Vanderbilt Hustler
COLUMN
Hypocritically
hooked on reality TV
I’m hooked. It’s addictive. It sucked me
in and suddenly took over my Tuesday
night. Reality television is more than a fad:
it’s an obsession.
A-BOMBS
ashley
MALLINSON
The worst part is that my addiction
makes me quite the hypocrite. I hate real-
ity TV. Quality television has wasted away
with alarming rapidity over the last few
years, and its down to its bare bones. Re-
ality TV is hardly enough to hold together
the skeletal remains of what once was
healthy programming, but is now starved
of decent storylines or talented actors.
When MTV launched The Real World in
1992, the American public had no idea that
it was witnessing the beginning of a trend
that would eventually eclipse their favor-
ite classic sitcoms as they knew them. We
would have been abhorred had we known
that just over a decade later, Friends and
Seinfeld would no longer be releasing new
episodes and instead shows like Fear Fac-
tor and The Incredible Mom Swap would
be multiplying exponentially.
Sinful as it is even to make the compari-
son, American Idol is to today’s generation
what Saved By The Bell was for me. I find
it absolutely unacceptable that on any
teenager’s wall, clearly a space reserved for
posters of Mark-Paul Gosseler or Tiffany
Amber-Theissen, I might instead find Clay
Aiken smiling down at me. These reality
TV stars deserve their titles as they really
are America’s idols, the first episode of the
show having the highest number of view-
ers of any series this season.
American Idol seems harmless in com-
parison to shows such as The Swan where
we don’t applaud contestants for using
their natural talents, but for the extent to
which they can pervert their bodies and
their lives. America looked on, rabidly
following several ‘ugly ducklings’ as they
underwent months of grueling workouts,
diets, lifestyle changes and, worst of all,
painful cosmetic plastic surgery and li-
posuction to emerge ‘swan-like’ from this
unnatural process of change. The real fa-
ble here seems to be not the fairy-tale of
the ugly-duckling, but the myth of such
a show being anything other than symp-
tomatic of a culture with a sick fixation on
reality TV.
Watching Jessica Simpson and Nick
Lachey prance around the menial duties
of their everyday lives simply holds no
interest for me. Because the couple is fa-
mous, I am supposed to care about their
relationship as “newlyweds”? If I am cu-
rious as to newlywed behavior, I would
much rather learn first-hand from my own
friends’ new marriages. True, I will actu-
ally have to interact with real people if I
want to learn about their lives; I will have
to sacrifice the ability of watching from a
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safe detached distance
as a couple pouts and
poses as they parade
in front of cameras. Mr. Rogers is an
Somehow, I sense that
I will get more out of ancient relic.
my interaction with Who needs him?
my real friends, rather Queer Eye for
than wedding myself
to a long-distance, ex- the Straight Guy
clusive, famed couple, shows you how
at least in the long-
run. to model your
As strongly as I op- life now!
pose absorbing oneself
in the lives of popular
icons and reality TV stars — living vicari-
ously through figures as they flit across
the TV screen — I am guilty of indulging
in this pleasure. I like to think of it as my
version of supporting an athletic team.
Watching The Bachelorette last Tuesday, I
desperately wanted Jen to pick John Paul
(stats: dark, young, driven and compas-
sionate) who I have been rooting for all
along; however, Kathy adamantly felt that
Jerry (stats: boyishly charming and oh-so-
good-looking) is the man for Jen. We girls
form teams, too: every Tuesday night we
rally around our favorite contender for
the bachelorette’s rose. The anxiety over
who Jen will choose may not keep me up
all night, but it has caused some heated
debate, and if my man gets ousted, things
might just get catty.
I blame my roommates. Leaving the TV
on — The Bachelorette playing in the back-
ground — was the worst thing they could
have done to me. I went from making fun
of the show to practically making love to
it. I was tempted; I picked my contender-
bachelor, and got hooked. I may not be
found at Sportsman’s begging the bartend-
er to change the channel and cheering for
team-John-Paul at the top of my lungs, but
every Tuesday night I revert to my own rit-
ual. The seduction of reality TV brings me
back to The Grove, to watch avidly while
I consume whatever homemade treat that
Hillary has magically popped out of the
oven in order to ease my nerves. Tensions
are high, as reality TV brings out my com-
petitive spirit as we suddenly go girl to girl,
bachelor to bachelor, rose to rose.
Reality TV is taking over, and now I’m a
hypocrite. I love my shows but I hate the
numerous tasteless reality TV shows that
storm the channels and crowd out what
decent sitcoms we have left. Mr. Rogers
is an ancient relic. Who needs him? Queer
Eye For the Straight Guy shows you how to
model your life now!
Enough is enough! I have had enough
of The Real World! I want back into the real
world. I want to be rid of reality TV, so I can
reconnect with my own life, instead of the
lives of people I will never meet. So, I am
strictly boycotting all reality TV…at least
until next Tuesday night.
—Ashley Mallinson is a senior in the
College of Arts and Science.
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AROUND THE LOOP
What are you doing for Spring Break?
“I’m going home.” “I’m going skiing.”
STEVE MCGUIRE
Senior
COLUMN
Bush’s hypocrisy finds fault with Russia’s democracy
This week, President Bush trav-
eled to Eastern Europe to chastise
Vladimir Putin, the president of
Russia. Bush spent the week lectur-
SPEAKING OUT
glenna
DEROY
ing Putin on the importance of civil
liberties and democratic ideals. The
two met in Slovakia to continue a
tradition started during the most
frigid days of the cold war. Back in
those days, however, the United
States had a right to lecture. We
were a fully-functioning democracy,
complete with a system of checks
and balances and various civil liber-
ties.
This time around, the situation
is different. Russia is no longer a
communist state. They have formed
their own democracy, and while it
is true that Putin has recently made
some anti-democratic moves, Presi-
dent Bush has no right to preach
when his own democracy is simi-
larly flawed.
In recent months, President Pu-
tin has concentrated power more
firmly in his own hands. He also has
restricted the freedoms of the inde-
pendent news media and bullied his
neighbors Chechnya, Georgia and
Brown: Attempts to legislate morality purchase immorality
From BROWN, page 4
America’s youth. Manufacturers of
candy cigarettes and battery-oper-
ated cars that children actually can
drive tempt children to experience
a life the law publicly denies them
and teach them how to break the
rules and satisfy their urges. With
enough money and parental inat-
tentiveness, an unsupervised child
can buy his or her ability to violate
www.vanderbilthustler.com
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DSSUR[ZRUGV
Opinion 5
“I’m doing Alternative “I’m going to Acapulco
Spring Break.” to meet Mexican men.”
CHRIS NETTUNE JULIA BENSFIELD
Senior Senior
Ukraine. These practices have not
only provoked this week’s chastise-
ment; if some members of Congress
get their way, Russia may be ex-
pelled from the G8, the elite group
of eight industrialized nations.
President Bush’s preaching is
indeed an extremely bold gesture,
considering the state of his own
country’s affairs. How can he lec-
ture on checks and balances when
the only checks Bush seems to care
about are those made out to fake
journalists? And the only balance
he knows about is the “fair and
balanced” reporting of Fox News.
The Republican Party controls the
White House, Senate, House of
Representatives and the Supreme
Court. The Democratic Party, on the
other hand, has had to resort to fili-
busters and whining protest letters
that never make it to the president’s
desk. How is this a checked or bal-
anced system?
Moreover, the white house press
corps is timid at best. The White
House seems eager to field soft
questions from fake journalists, but
shuts out real journalists willing to
ask the tough questions. During his
tour in Germany, Bush cancelled an
open town meeting-style event and
opted for a round table discussion
with previously-selected Germans
and Americans. Bush strives to pres-
the law. People only attempt to leg-
islate morality, but they succeed in
purchasing immorality.
Most people, when restricted,
learn to lie. The easiest way to
evade the law as a minor lies in the
ability to obtain access to money
or to older people who are willing
to vouch for you, usually under the
impression that they are toughen-
ing someone up or preparing them
Compiled by Pascha Brown
“I’m going on a cruise
with a lot of other
Vandy students.”
ANNIE GRUNER KATLIN SMITH
Senior Senior
ent a skewed view of his policies
in the news media; it is his goal to
make himself look as good as pos-
sible regardless of the First Amend-
ment. How is this chokehold on our
media any difference from Putin’s
restriction on Russia’s?
If similar actions could get Russia
booted from the G8, how does Bush
get away with them so easily?
Our own democracy is deeply
flawed, and for this reason, we have
little right to scold others. This is
precisely why we needed a new
president. Bush can’t go to Russia
and lecture Putin on democracy be-
cause his leadership of this country
has been so problematic. Someone
clearly needs to rein Putin in; he’s
crossed a lot of lines and is close to
erasing any democratic strides Rus-
sia has made since he took control
of the country. By the same token,
however, someone should rein in
President Bush. Democrats in Con-
gress are powerless to do so; thus,
the job falls on the shoulders of
more sensible members of Bush’s
party. The job of lecturing Putin
can fall to another member of the
G8; unfortunately, America’s leader
does not have the credibility to per-
form this important task.
—Glenna DeRoy is a freshman in
the College of Arts and Science.
for the real world. Ultimately, this
form of law-breaking and immoral-
ity is a condoned right of passage
that unifies the repressed, underage
community in a country that tells
children what they can’t handle in
public, they can buy in private.
—Pascha Brown is a junior in the
College of Arts and Science.