Eigo Enshu Ted Talk: February 23, 2017

Name: Nanako Matsushita

Topic: History/Diary

Scoring out of 5= 5: Excellent 4:Very Good 3:Good 2:OK 1:Needs Improvement

CRITERIA SCORE

Opener (first 30 seconds): Grabs audience’s attention with a story, question, etc. (topic is not clear) 5 /5
That is a very nice personal story to show how a diary can be useful

Body (middle 60 seconds): Information is clear, focused, and interesting 5 /5
You started with a clear example in Hiroshima, and then extrapolated nicely
Closer (last 30 seconds): wrap up and state your main idea clearly and inspirationally 3 /5
**give us something to think about or some action to take
You advised us to keep records, but I’m not a historian—how can normal people
do it?
Vocabulary Usage: Simple, natural, easy to understand. If difficult words are used, the speaker explains them 4 /5
A few of your words were a bit complex—introduce their definitions or give
examples
Grammar: Grammar is correct, simple & clear 5 /5
Clear and effective

Voice Inflection: clear emotion, strong intonation, charisma 5 /5
Awesome!
Gestures/Eye Contact/Posture: connecting to audience 5 /5
Awesome!

ELI5: Speaker’s speech is easy to understand, speaking slowly, small pauses between phrases 4 /5
I liked your pacing, but a few of your ideas require simpler explanation—maybe
powerpoint?

Memorized: Speaker doesn't use notes, speaks with confidence and memorization is complete 9 /10
A few minor pauses, but mostly great!

Time: 3:05 Total speaking score: 45 /50
Total writing score: 50 /50

Notes:
I enjoyed your speech a lot. You showed great confidence and charisma. Your gestures
and eye contact were very effective and pleasant. You are a gifted speaker, and should
consider entering an English speech contest. One thing is that you spoke about a diary
and historical records, but it’s hard to see the connection between the two. With the
Hiroshima records, we can learn the dangers of nuclear weapons and teach future
generations. The benefits are clear. However, with a diary, you can remember an
exchange from a vacation, but how does such a memory benefit us? I want to know
why personal memories should be recorded like big historical ones. You can explain
this connection, but it wasn’t clear in your speech. Moreover, your final call to action
didn’t show us how we, as private individuals, can follow your advice if we aren’t
historians or journalists.