Eigo Enshu Ted Talk: February 23, 2017

Name: Momoko Kawame

Topic: Crying

Scoring out of 5= 5: Excellent 4:Very Good 3:Good 2:OK 1:Needs Improvement

CRITERIA SCORE

Opener (first 30 seconds): Grabs audience’s attention with a story, question, etc. (topic is not clear) 3 /5
Starting with a question could be good, but give the audience time to think and
respond

Body (middle 60 seconds): Information is clear, focused, and interesting 5 /5
Your information is interesting and you gave several good examples of crying
benefits
Closer (last 30 seconds): wrap up and state your main idea clearly and inspirationally 4 /5
**give us something to think about or some action to take
Closer should restate the benefits more explicitly, although your final advice
was good
Vocabulary Usage: Simple, natural, easy to understand. If difficult words are used, the speaker explains them 3 /5
Many of your words were a bit difficult—choose more natural and simple
language
Grammar: Grammar is correct, simple & clear 3 /5
Your sentences are long and complex—not wise for speaking. Make them
shorter and simpler
Voice Inflection: clear emotion, strong intonation, charisma 2 /5
Your voice was muted—give more energy to your speaking

Gestures/Eye Contact/Posture: connecting to audience. Your body language didn’t aid your 3 /5
speech—let gestures emphasize and strengthen your words
ELI5: Speaker’s speech is easy to understand, speaking slowly, small pauses between phrases 3 /5
Needs more simplicity, as stated above. If you used a few pictures, it might help
clarify
Memorized: Speaker doesn't use notes, speaks with confidence and memorization is complete 6 /10
Practice more! Strong memorization would make inflection/body language more
natural

Time: 3:30 Total speaking score: 32 /50
Total writing score: 50 /50

Notes:
I appreciated your topic—it’s a very empowering thing to cry without shame. You
made some interesting points about the benefits of crying. However, your memory
lapses cause trouble regarding your engagement. You seemed to spend much energy
trying to remember your speech—energy better used for voice inflection and good eye
contact. Moreover, your language was fairly academic. It sounded like you were
reading an essay. Speaking requires shorter and simpler sentences. The way you write
an essay should be different from the way you write a speech. When you write a
speech, think about how sentences should have ten words or less. Moreover, any
complicated words or ideas should be repeated so everyone can catch your meaning
(since they can’t re-read any lines, as we would with an essay).