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®

May 2004

Keep Your
Hair Forever

His noggin was bare.
He wanted hair.
All he had to do was spend a week in
sunny Florida--and let a doctor cut
2,200 holes in his head.

M
Y VACATION PLANS were set: a week in a nice hotel in
beautiful Boca Raton. But while other guys would return
from such a trip with golf scorecards and stealth bikini
photos, I'd be coming home with the ultimate souvenir-a
full head of hair. Or the seeds of one, at least. I'd decided that I was done
being bald, so I signed on for a $10,000 procedure called follicular-unit
micrografting, a new surgery that lets you treat your scalp like a wheat
field and grow your own.
My intended crop: hair. Lots of it.
I was nervous, of course. A lot could happen. My seedlings could die
in the field. It could look terrible. It could hurt. (The doctor told me I'd
be awake the whole time.) Nursing these anxieties, I sat in the lobby of
my hotel, jittery, waiting for the Town Car the surgeon sent for me. Then
I ran a hand across my smooth scalp and smiled. It would all be over
soon. My indecent scalp exposure, that is.
Here's what the first day of my vacation itinerary included: After
numbing my skull with lots of anesthetics and some quality drugs (a
great selling point for any surgical procedure), the doctor would peel a
long, thin strip of hairy skin off the back and sides of my scalp-a eel of
flesh with one greasy yellow side and one long, hairy, buzz-cut - side. dripped from speakers. After I was shown to Dr. Alan Bauman's office, I
Medical technicians would then separate every tiny, egg-shaped hair realized that he was Valium in human form-so calming, experienced, and
follicle from this "donor" tissue. Next, the doctor would incise thousands reassuring. Plus, he'd assembled a team of two M.D.'s and four
of 3/16-inch-deep slits in my scalp. Then the surgical team would plant nurse/technicians to work the assembly line of my bead. And this is the
4,800 of my own healthy, productive hair follicles into the open wounds, guy who is a nationally recognized leader in microsurgical hair
one, two, or three at a time. restoration including eyelash transplants. My head is the Capitol dome in
The more I thought about it, the more I thought that sending a driver comparison. How could he miss?
was the least the clinic could do. A cigarette and a blindfold might be Dr. Bauman made sure that I'd adhered to the pre-op regimen of
more like it. abstinence from alcohol and aspirin (blood thinners) and had refrained
The sterling service continued when I arrived in the wood and earth- from strenuous exercise. (Impact workouts can hinder clotting.) Why the
toned lobby of the Bauman Medical Group. A pretty, redheaded nurse precautions? Well, you've heard about how head wounds bleed. In the
brought me water and Valium. (Should I have tipped?) Smooth jazz name of progress, Dr. Bauman was about to inflict thousands of them.

M. beautiful.D. "Give me the highest dosage . 717. they converged on me He lent me another cool gadget-a LaserComb." said Dr. Bauman. Bauman today: 1-877-BAUMAN-9 toll free • 561-394-0024 • www. the kind of oxygen tent that Michael Jackson sleeps in. please!" Then I was introduced to a new machine: the Low Level Laser Therapy I was feeling no pain as the doctors went to work behind me. pushing. and I happily munched Doritos while dormant for a few months.. effluents on the sheets and pillowcases. the sooner you'll heal. seated in a I reviewed some notes I'd tapped into my laptop the night before. Bauman gave me another computerized scalp wash. he made several thousand incisions in a Afterward. The drugs continued. It felt nice. Produced under license by Reprint Management Services. 399." There was also a high-pressure set of shampoo and conditioner full of similar compounds. The solution was a hydrating back with my treatment containing an infusion of copper peptide that would help heal head in a machine my skin." he said. bandage was placed on my scalp. which worked like the once again – a combination of at least two doctors and/or technicians laser helmet I'd been using in his office. I smiled dreamily.com. it occurs Dr. With pores. of skin being peeled off the back of my head for the donor follicles. Then it was back to the washing the mirror. As I procedure on Ray Liotta in this one? The drug buzz wouldn't let me care. All Rights Reserved. fun – is unfazed by it all. deftness and precision. several medical technicians using microscopes and the next 5 days I'd spend an hour a day in a hyperbaric chamber-you microscalpels extracted and transferred thousands of gelatinous. where for Meanwhile. seed. # Reprinted by Reprint Management Services. they gave me a series of little manila pill packets: Percocet and b r u s h l e s s Motrin (for pain). the inside is now visible on the outside. One year later: The results are nothing short of miraculous.com. I was off pain meds made the cuts. The streams from the Valium. hard helmet. twice a day. It looked like an old salon hair dryer. the in. Wait. Bauman strapped a band around my head. Every week that's using forceps to push back the occasional recalcitrant seedling that had gone by has brought noticeable improvement. "The more you use it. Bauman nodded at my shredded head and gave me a satisfied grin. © 2004 Rodale Inc. I'll have more to show for this cutting.1900. but when it was finished. sort of like an inflatable. My whole life has improved-the person I always felt like on machine for one last antiseptic bath. and scalp in an "Six months from now. The next step liquid-filled packets. prednisone (to reduce swelling). The Hood. contemplate the rending of the hairy strip of flesh from the head. ® is a registered trademark of Rodale Inc. He also told me that in like servings of fish-egg sushi. from Costanza to Kramer-a Chia Pet on Miracle Gro.com Alan J. and those roots would go filled. "This will be the longest 6 months of me. Dr. After lunch (I recommend the meatball sub). My instructions: Soak the gauze in the solution and was for me to sit place it on my head for an hour. visit www. poking. Her only response to the work I've had done is. Be patient and then enjoy your new hair. clear plastic coffin. A daily field trip came onto my vacation schedule: I was to travel Dr. a sports-medicine clinic. Bauman. . Bauman immediately went to work suturing the wound. And he's one hairy guy.com • doctorb@baumanmedical. I woke up with spotty smears of blood and other rinse. The pressure forced oxygen into my lungs and even into my slim X-acto knife. I was exhausted. your life. to accelerate healing. Bauman did his final examination. My My debriefing consisted of an introduction to the special current girlfriend – young. Then I heard a tearing sound. For more information about Men’s Health®. they Now it was time for Dr. know. visit www. and Propecia (to carwash-to prevent future loss of my untransplanted hair). Bauman told me that all was well. No my full head of hair. After 5 days. It's a pleasure to look in popped up out of its little furrow. across town to Integrative Therapies. all the sites in my scalp were straight up like a crew cut would fallout.baumanmedical. didn't Anthony Hopkins perform some interesting scalp tight." I didn't lift a finger. But that's what the I was then Percocet was for. that used tiny.) I So did the gingerly washed and conditioned my hair. like a oxygen. And. They hovered over me for hours with tiny nine out of 10 cases."' embedded inside delivered continuous doses of painkillers into my scalp. I was issued gauze pads and "When do I get my implants?" State-of-the-Art Hair Restoration for Men & Women Located in beautiful Boca Raton. then gradually-yes! -regenerate hair watching incomprehensible images flicker on the TV screen in front of He shook my hand and said. but there was absolutely no randomized pattern through the bald areas of my scalp-all the while improvement in my moonwalk." His pressurized it to a few times normal atmospheric pressure and fed in pure weapon of choice: a shiny. general. "Run it slowly over your entire filling Dr. custom-made blade with an angled tip. The implantation scabs would fall off in about a week. the spiky little shoots that I could feel sticking forceps. Once I got inside. Slowly. Dozens of tiny needles to me that the appropriate metaphor is 'adult circumcision. plucking. both numb and prickly at the same time. free consultations and online consultations.menshealth. he does eyelashes! dissolve soon after that." antibacterial The next morning. Instead. which looked scalp for 15 minutes every other day. Dr. I've gone Around 4 in the afternoon. This would determine how natural my new hair would entirely and feeling pretty normal.reprintbuyer. Kickin' showerhead felt like individual flamethrowers. the stitches would My mantra: Relax. Florida For more information. Bauman to put the "scalp" in "scalpel. Valium. and some more Later that day. It was the thin tape healing of the thousands of mosquito-bite scabs. This is the truly artistic phase of the procedure. But in my case. Yeah. cleanse my hair Dr. but retrofitted by Q: Inside surgical team's small talk distracted me from the fact that something were rotating red laser projectors that stimulated scalp cells and hastened major was happening. (Note to self: Tip maid. and after I dried off. taking into account the natural direction and density of each follicle as he The rest of my vacation flew by. best of water jets-like a all. Bauman's incisions with my uprooted follicles. I felt pretty good. contact Dr. Dr. surgical lounge chair with a tape of Hannibal playing on the TV across under the influence of my whole prescription cocktail: "My scalp is a the room. To request a quote online. you won't believe how much hair you have. look once it sprouted. not less.. viselike pressure all over my head was worse. "Copper is an essential nutrient for healing skin cells. It looked shaped hair follicles from the fleshy eel to petri dishes. She likes postoperative take-home kit I'd be using for the rest of my vacation.