COMPLIMENTARY

MARCH 2017, VOL. 15 ISSUE 3

SEE PAGE 24
Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong
Table of Contents
SPECIAL OLYMPICS ................ 4
Sales Manager
GONZALES GARDEN CLUB .. 10
Dottie Godberry
Staff Photographer SWEET EYES W/ TANYA..... .....12

Jimmy Dunkley CRAWFISH FESTIVAL .......................24 FOR MORE INFORMATION
225.622.3262
JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE........ 29 www.riverparishfoods.com

Contributing Writers
BILL DELAUNE........................ 30
Bill Delaune
THOUGHTS FROM BULLY.....34
Linda Melancon
CHURCH POINT .....................36
Calvin Bessonett
Bully SNO’S RECIPE...........................45

Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Mireworks
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Jimmy Dunkley

For Advertising
Information Please call:
225-622-1324

E-Mail Comments
to Stronggraphics1@cox.net
www.ascensionmagazine.net

Note: Features in this
publication labeled
“advertorial”
are paid for editorials.
All Rights Reserved.
Opinions expressed are not
necessarily those of the
publisher, editor or staff of
Ascension Magazine

18386 Little Prairie Rd.
Prairieville, LA 70769
ASCENSION PARISH SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT
AND DUTCHTOWN HIGH SCHOOL
HOST SPECIAL OLYMPICS LOUISIANA
This past month I had the pleasure
to witness our parish citizens
display the best form of kindness.
The kindness that only comes from
the heart.

The Ascension Parish Sheriff’s
Department and students
volunteered to make this heart
warming event the best it possibly
could be for the Special Olympians
and participants. Every child was
treated special with hugs, support
and enthusiasm and the athletes all
enjoyed that day as winners.

Special Olympics Louisiana (SOLA)
is a state wide not-for-profit 501©3

4
Kids Meal Night
$2.99
Wednesday

Tues ... Steak Night
Wed ...... AYCE Crawfish
organization that changes lives athletic competitions and we

Thur ...... AYCE Shrimp
by promoting understanding, transform lives through the joy
acceptance and inclusion of sport, everyday, everywhere.

The Fresh Seafood
between people with and Currently, 14,639 children and

Market
without intellectual disabilities. adults with intellectual disabili-

is back with
We provide sports training and ties in Louisiana participate in

Live Crawfish.

37306 Perkins Road • 673.1799
(Formerly Tommy’s Fish House)

5
over approximately 100
competitions. We are also a
global social movement. With
initiatives to activate youth,
engage individuals with and
without intellectual disabilities,
build communities, and
improve the health of our
athletes - we're changing the
game for people young and old
and asking you to be a part
of it all.

6
protected from environmental it. For more information, please
conditions. contact Traci Furlow at your
convenience by email at
Groundbreaking for this traci.furlow1969@gmail.com or
project was held on March 9, by phone at 225-614-5565.
2017. The scope of the project
is to build a 15 x 20 gazebo This year’s “Rockin’ Through
complete with relaxing sitting the Ages” project team
areas, landscaping, and electrical members are: Bethany
accessibility for fans and radio. Duplessis- The Spa House Day
The “Rockin’ Through the Spa, Ryan Falgoust- Commerce
Ages” project team is asking for Title , Traci Furlow- Adam
monetary donations as well as McCarty State Farm , Alysha
supplies or physical labor to Guillot- BASF , Joshua
assist in this worthwhile cause. Ory- Forte & Tablada , Craig

Leadership
You may purchase a rocking Stevens- Genesis 360, LLC ,
chair for under the gazebo Shawn Winchester- Ascension

Ascension
projects are designed to exam- with a donation of $300. If Parish Sherriff’s Office ,
ine important issues within the purchased, the rocking chair Sandy Zaher- EATEL ,

Groundbreaking
community and work with will feature a metal plate with Lynell Zirkle- Rubicon.
either a non-profit organization your name or company name on

Event
or government entity to relieve
or solve an existing problem
This year’s Leadership
Ascension is comprised of four
groups of community leaders.

Leadership Ascension is an The “Rockin’ Through the
innovative program sponsored Ages” project team chose to
by The Ascension Chamber of help the Gonzales Council On
Commerce to assist in preparing Aging (COA), and after
emerging community leaders for discussion with COA leadership
leadership positions in local and an inspection of the facility,
government, business and the project team saw an
community affairs opportunity to develop an
outdoor gathering space for
Leadership Ascension class members that is safe and

7
LEGACY ESTATE attorney, prosecuting administration, elder law, special For more information on the
& ELDER LAW OF misdemeanor and juvenile cases. needs, life care planning and services provided by Legacy

Announces a
LOUISIANA, LLC She has previously worked with Medicaid and Veterans Adminis- Estate & Elder Law of

New Attorney:
New York Life Insurance’s Nau- tration benefits planning. Its Louisiana, LLC or to register

Lisa L. Henson
tilus Group, providing guidance mission is to help Louisiana for a free Estate Planning
on estate and business planning families leave a lasting legacy Seminar, please contact our
to agents with high net worth through proper planning. office at 225-744-0027 or
clients, and with U.S. Trust services@legacycenterla.com.
Legacy Estate & Elder Law of Bank of America Private Wealth
Louisiana, LLC in Prairieville, Management as a trust officer
LA is excited to announce that and a trust information
attorney Lisa L. Henson has specialist. She has now returned
joined the firm. to her home state to do what
she envisioned herself doing
Lisa L. Henson is an attorney when she started law school.
practicing in the areas of Estate
Planning and Estate Administra- Lisa is married to Brian Henson,
tion (Successions and Trust Ad- and they have two boys, ages 14
ministration). Originally from and 7 and they live in West
Bunkie, Louisiana, Lisa Baton Rouge Parish. Lisa is a
graduated from Baylor very active member of the
University with a Bachelor of Church at Addis and enjoys
Arts in English in 1990, and adventures with her family,
she received her law degree playing the piano, writing,
from Baylor University School baking, and reading mystery
of Law in 1993. novels.

A former Texas attorney, she Legacy Estate & Elder Law of
began her legal career as an Louisiana, LLC assists clients in
assistant district and county the areas of estate planning and

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8
Rotary Club
of Gonzales
Plans Annual
Food Fest
Members of the Gonzales Ro-
tary Club have been busy
preparing for its Annual Food
Fest scheduled for March 28,
2017 at the Lamar-Dixon Expo
Center Trade Mart Building.
This annual event benefits the
St. Theresa Food Bank.

“The Rotary Club has spon-
sored this event since the late
1990‘s. It continues to be a sig-
nificant resource in efforts to
feed people in need throughout
our city and parish,” said
Sheena Falgoust, 2017, Chair-
man of the Food Fest Commit- Walling, Ticket Master; Sheena and may be purchased at several Club member or by emailing
tee. Members of the Food Fest Falgoust, Committee Chairman; businesses in the Gonzales area caw5060@aol.com. Restau-
Committee, pictured from left and committee members, Anna including Ascension Funeral rants interested in participating
to right are: David Herring, Sparacino, Rae Milano, Martin Home, Lofton Staffing, and may contact tracy@tourascen-
2016-2017 Gonzales Rotary McConnell, Dr. James Jean- Jeansonne & Spillers Dentistry. sion.com. Join us for great food
President; Tracy Browning, sonne and Willie Robinson. Tickets may also be purchased from our local vendors and en-
Restaurant Chair; Glenda Sha- at the St. Theresa Church of- tertainment. You will not leave
heen, Past President; Craig Pre-sale tickets are $25.00 each fice, from any Gonzales Rotary hungry!

9
Gonzales Garden Club
Sets the Stage for Flower Show
The first item on the agenda of exceed a one-inch buffer from
the March 1 meeting of the the top of the niche. The
Gonzales Garden Club was a background fabric should
demonstration presentation by complement the flower color,
longtime Member Marilyn Rice. and no plant material should
She set up a comprehensive touch the sides or bottom of the
exhibit of floral design resources niche. Rice encouraged
and analyzed three creative
niches of arrangements that she
titled “The Petrified Forest”
Creative Horizontal Design,
“Wine and Roses” Tablescape,
and “China Doll” Oriental
Design. Rice then disassembled
them to show the audience their drangeas during late March to
compositions and constructed boost these plants. The garden
three more niche displays, all tip came from Member
(tints, tones or shades of a
the while explaining the reasons Conchita Richey. When using
single hue), triadic (three
for her choices. grocery store flowers, fill a
contrasting colors) and analo-
Rice spoke of design container with tepid water and
gous (three related colors). Her
elements such as color har- add the flower food from the
tips for size and proportion in-
monies, balance and proportion, included packet. Cut the stems
cluded elevating the base of the
textures, and the allusion of on a slant and leave them in the
flower arrangement to center it
movement. She described color beginner floral designers to food water overnight in a cool,
vertically in the space while not
schemes as monochromatic incorporate pieces of wood, dark, draft-free place. Create
allowing plant material to
glass figurines, and sculptural
pieces into their displays to
enhance the artistic concept of
the flower arrangement. Lastly,
GGC Members Lorraine
Ramirez and Priscilla Monson
generously shared their own
horizontal floral designs for
critique to culminate the
program on “Sharing Years of
Design Experience”.
This month’s horticultural
hint is to apply fertilizer to
azaleas, gardenia, and hy-
the flower arrangement the next
day using a soaked oasis for
long-lasting design.
The meeting was held at
Jamie Trisler’s home in the
heart of Gonzales. She and
fellow hostesses Cynthia
Cagnolatti, Priscilla Monson,
Marilyn Oubre, Janis Poche,
and Conchita Richey served
“meatless” finger sandwiches,
salads and desserts during the

lunch break. The club’s next
meeting will be held on April 5
in conjunction with their
Annual Floral Design Exhibit at
the Gonzales Library on Irma
Blvd. The theme will be
Louisiana’s Natural Beauty.

Yard of the Month Residential and Commercial • February & March

Dr. Dale Doty stands in front of River Parishes Community Colleges as the proud recipient of
The home of Jeff & Sandy Gaudin at 1731 S. Augusta in Gonzales was awarded February’s
Gonzales Garden Club's Commercial Landscape of the Month Award for March. The property
Residential Yard of the Month for its early bloom of azaleas. The garden included crinum,
that was a cow pasture in 2013 is now a sprawling campus of stately buildings, walkways and
camellia, knock out roses and compacta holly, and the sego palm.
parking lots lined with spring blooming azaleas and summer blooming crape myrtles.

This magnificent front yard belongs to Jim and Susan Kimes at 1031 Eva Street in Gonzales. It
was chosen as Gonzales Garden Club’s Residential Yard of the Month for March for its plush The Gonzales Garden Club chose KopyKats Printing Company at 226 Burnside Avenue as
design and variations of color and texture. The beds are comprised of agapanthus, azaleas, February’s Commercial Landscape of the Month for its neat maintenance and bright colors.
privet, olive, pomegranate, pear trees and crape myrtle. Owner Susan Kimes noted that the Plantings included blooming pansies and knock out roses with a healthy row of boxwood shrubs
plants bloom in a continual succession from spring though summer into autumn adding interest forming a hedge below the windows.
and beauty to this quiet neighborhood.
you, so do people! Make sure
you surround yourself with
people that will allow you to
thrive. People that are in their
purpose inspire me the most.
That doesn’t mean making the
most money or having the
biggest title at a workplace, but
it means someone who knows
what they were put on this
Earth to do and are doing it.
So, put yourself in the presence
of people that encourage you,
lift you up, and believe in your
success even before you
believe it.

Faith without
ACTIONS is dead
Do you expect to have a fulfilled
marriage without kindness and
forgiveness? Do you believe
you will have an athlete’s body
without training? Do you have
faith to get out of debt yet keep
spending beyond your means?
That won’t happen without
action on your part. You must
around us to flourish. As contain. I believe that as life
continue to have wisdom
Are you Surviving? human beings, we should all be happens we lose our hope for
concerning your vision and
growing and developing - what we thought would be an
what it will take to achieve it.
I want to discuss something emotionally, mentally, and cer- amazing future for ourselves,
When you truly believe, walking
relevant and life changing. tainly spiritually. Stagnant water so it’s important that as life
out your vision is easy. That’s
So, I ask you… is not good to drink from, and happens we keep our vision,
something that will take
neither should we be stagnant. even if that vision changes!
discipline...believing I mean.
Are you happy with where Now, I’m not saying life is
You may have a setback and
you are in life? Are you Have a clear VISION perfect, (for in this life we will
want to give up, but you’ve got
really fulfilled? have hardships) but we should
to keep on moving towards
Every brilliant idea or invention never give up on our hopes and
that goal if your want that
A guest pastor asked us a few started with and idea and that dreams. It’s what gives us that
dream to manifest.
weeks ago, “Are you surviving?” idea had a vision. Why not have sparkle in our eyes, that thing
If so, that’s not exactly where a vision for your life? If your that everyone knows but can’t
You see how all of these work
you want to be, unless you’ve vision is hazy or uncertain, make define, and that passion to get
together to define your pathway
recently been through a life it clear. Spend some time up in the morning with
to success? Have a vision,
undeniable energy in
surround yourself with positive
our bodies.
people that inspire and uplift
you, and finally, create your
Surround yourself plan of action to walk towards
with people that that dream. So, don’t just
survive but thrive!
INSPIRE
Just like natural elements (the
sun, wind, earth, and rain) make
up the environment around

threatening event. You should with yourself and use your
not survive but thrive. But in imagination. If you would
order to thrive, you’ve got to consider your perfect life what
have the right environment. would it look like? Maybe its
Just like plants need sunlight, time for you to sit down with
water, and sometimes fertilizer, pen and paper and write down
we also need elements in and what that vision look like and

12
Stylish Oversize Rings in
both karat gold and sterling
signs in gold, platinum, or ster-
ling silver in many elegant tex-
Did you know!
silver continue the recent head- tures and Opals require special care?
turning trend of featuring finishes set with diamonds, This beautiful, translucent gem
elongated settings with pearls, or colored gems. Swing- displays a continuous array of
ing hoop earrings include two vivid rainbow colors seemingly
and three inch sizes aswell as suspended in a luminous white
large inside-outside diamond or black base. The name opal is
hoops which sparkle with every

Birthstones
a shortened version of the
movement you make. Roman word “opalus” which
means color play. While on the
Mohs scale, opals have a
March - hardness of 5.5, they are
Aquamarine and Bloodstone composed of 3% - 23% water, so
they should never be allowed to
sparkling diamonds combined Those born in
with big, bold colored gems in March are
a rainbow of pink, orange, blue, fortunate to
Dramatic Rings green, yellow, purple, and red have two
colors. Halo and doubl halo set- birthstones to
And Earrings tings are designed to give these choose from
high-fashion rings a Aquamarine
Topping Runways bigger and more sparkling look. and Bloodstone. Although
with Layne Gautreau these two gems are strikingly
Trendy Drop Earrings give different, both promise courage
This season’s red-carpet fa- you a wide choice of exciting to those of March birth.
vorites include the brightest and styles including chandeliers, freeze or dry out. Avoid ex-
biggest eye-catching pendants, and openwork de- Aquamarine is a transparent treme or rapid changes in tem-
statement styles in colorful sea blue beryl once prized by perature while wearing and
stacking rings, knuckle-dust- ancient Greek sailors on long storing your opal jewelry. Also
ing cocktail rings, and glitter- voyages. Opaque bloodstone avoid cleaning products,
ing right-hand rings, aswell as isn’t red at all; it ultrasonic and steam jewelry
the classic look of dazzling is actually a dark cleaners. Whether you are
neck-skimming drop earrings green chalcedony considering a beautiful opal
and oversize hoop earrings, with vivid red piece for yourself or a loved
which are among today’s top flecks and it has one, or your current opal
earring trends. been a favorite of jewelry has lost its luster and
men since medieval times. needs a prof.

13
Look Your Best This Summer
Lip Inhancement Microneedling/Skin Pen
Lip enhancement is a cosmetic Microneedling/Collagen
procedure that can give you Induction Therapy (CIT): Is a
fuller, plumper lips. Injectable non-surgical skin-tightening
dermal fillers are the most procedure that creates a
controlled injury underneath the
skin’s surface, inducing the body
to respond by producing more
collagen in the treated area.
The skin plumps and thickens in
response to the stimulus,
reducing the appearance of scars,
pore size and fine lines. SkinPen
Before allows for controlled induction
of the skin’s self-repair process
by creating thousands of precise
micro-injuries in the dermis,
automatically triggering new
collagen synthesis without scar
tissue formation.

Botox
Botox is the most popular
After
cosmetic non surgery treatment,
with more than 6 million Botox
treatments administered each
commonly used method of lip year. Botox is most commonly
enhancement. There are many used to treat forehead lines,
types of dermal fillers that can be frown lines and crow’s feet by
injected into your lips and relaxing the underlying muscles.
around your mouth. The most Williamson Cosmetic Center
common fillers today are was named Top 50 practices
products that contain hyaluronic in the United States by
acid. Hyaluronic acid is a Allergan producer of Botox
natural substance found in the and Juvederm.
body. It helps increase volume
in the lips!

IPL/Brown Spot Reduction Treatment Special
of the Month

Prestige Peel
Intense Pulsed Light (IPL) a

$200
popular medical treatment that
corrects broken capillaries and

Skin Pen
hyper-pigmentation (age spots)
caused by age and sun damage.

$250
IPL also stimulates the
production of collagen and
elastin, which plumps the skin
and gives a more even skin tone. Offer Good thru April 30th

15
16
17
offer valuable assistance in this information, you can visit their
YOUR ESTATE MATTERS situation. Upon a physician’s website,
order, Baton Rouge Rehabili- https://brrehab.com/site342.
By Linda Melancon tation Hospital will conduct a php, or contact them at 225-
comprehensive driving evalua- 927-0567.
tion to aid in determining an
ing your concerns and seeking individual’s ability to drive As with so many other deci-
his or her agreement that it’s safely. The evaluation includes sions regarding aging relatives,
time to consider other means both a clinical portion, con- removing driving privileges can
of transportation. Be ready to ducted by an occupational be a difficult decision, and has
suggest other options for therapist to determine the im- the potential to cause a great
transportation, such as public pact of health conditions (such deal of tension and hurt be-
transit, the aid of other family as stroke or Alzheimer’s) and tween those involved. Enlist-
members, or transportation functional limitations (such as ing support from resources
services offered by some elder- vision problems and slower re- such as those discussed here
Keys, Please: care companies. Having an- action times) on driving safety, can help defuse a lot of the
other way to get around may
How to Gently help older drivers let go of the
and an on-road evaluation, tension and bring peace of
completed by a Driving Rehab mind knowing that your loved
Keep Unsafe keys more easily. Specialist, to assess the individ- one won’t be behind the wheel
Older Drivers If that conversation falls on
ual’s driving ability. Once the when driving is no longer safe
evaluation is completed, the for them.
Off the Road ears that aren’t ready to hear occupational therapist and
it, you may want to enlist the Driving Rehab Specialist will Ms. Melancon has engaged in
We as Americans are a free- the practice of law in Ascension
help of your loved one’s physi- make recommendations for
wheeling society. We like our Parish for the last eighteen
cian or eye care specialist. driving safety, which may in- years. The primary focus of her
cars, and we like our freedom
They can offer counsel as to clude driver training, adaptive practice is estate planning,
to go where we please, when
the dangers posed by health or equipment for the vehicle, lim- probate, special needs planning
we please. But as loved ones and elder law. For more
vision problems, and often, a itations on driving distance,
get older, you may find your- information or to attend an
person will listen to their care time of day, or speed, and, if
self in the unenviable position upcoming estate planning
providers where they won’t lis- necessary, complete restriction seminar, call her office at
of trying to keep them off the
ten to their children. of driving privileges. For more (225) 744-0027.
road when they start to lose
the ability to operate an auto-
You may also consider meeting
mobile safely. The question
with someone at the Depart-

Hey Dr. Rob,
then becomes, what’s the best
ment of Motor Vehicles to ask

I have a question,
way to take the keys away?
that the Department request a

after my nap.
new vision examination, paper
As people get older, their abil-

Me too,
exam, or driving test for your
ity to drive safely can be im-

after my nap.
loved one. The Department’s
pacted by a variety of factors.
decision as to someone’s abil-
Failing eyesight can be a prob-
ity to drive safely based on
lem, as can poor hearing.
their own examination will de-
Slowed reaction times can in-
termine whether your loved
crease the chance of accidents.
one can stay on the road - if
Even medications can have
Mom or Dad can’t pass the
side effects that make driving
written exam or a road test,
more difficult. But removing
their license won’t be renewed.
your loved one’s freedom to
This does remove the child
drive may be removing what
from the decision-making
they see as their last source of
process, and may take some of
independence, and they may
the tension out of the surren-
not surrender the keys will-
der of driving privileges. But
ingly. With some planning,
be aware, Mom or Dad may
you can enlist the help of oth-
want to know whose idea it
ers to keep you from being the
was that they be retested, so
bad guy in your loved one’s
it’s a good idea to be prepared
eyes.
to have that conversation with
A SCEN SION P ARI SH
A good place to start is an
open and honest conversation
them if the need arises.
A N I M A L H O S P I TA L
There is also an option local to
with your loved one, explain
the Baton Rouge area that may 225.744.4905
18
6. Optimize for
Mobile Keywords
Mobile-First Indexing:
Already, searchers on mobile are
The New Direction of slightly different than on desktop.
For instance, voice searches
already make up about 20% of
Google Search 2017 searches on mobile devices,
resulting in the style of queries to
is the year mobile be slightly different than it is on
desktop, mainly because people
get more personal and express
dominates desktop their queries in a conversational
manner. If you’re looking to view
by Orhan Mc Millan your mobile queries that are
dezinsINTERACTIVE relevant to your business, go into
your Google Search Console >
Search Traffic > Search Analytics >
and from here you can check out
the reports for queries, clicks,
In the year 2015, a tremendous version of your site is properly and mobile site. If any differences positions and even comparisons
revolution started taking place, as indexed by simply Google are present regarding content and between mobile and desktop.
it marked the first time that searching your domain on a design as it appears on mobile,
Google searches on mobile mobile device. If you see results, make a note of it, and collaborate 7. Take Care of your
devices surpassed desktop use. then everything is correct, but if with your web developers and Local SEO
Since then, the margin between not, then you more than likely editors on changes that might
the two has only grown have an issue or two to fix. need to be made. The content In this day and age, mobile SEO
exponentially larger. Currently should be identical but the search is becoming increasingly
Google’s search engine is re- 3. Check Google Search presentation may need to be more focused on local search,
volved around desktop-based Console adjusted depending on the quan- mainly because user intent has
indexing, but on November 4th, tity. become an important factor for
2016 Google released a blog Another basic tip involves going Google. Currently, 80% of mobile
confirming that in the upcoming to the Google Search Console 5 Optimize your searches relate to things that are
months, it would be permanently dashboard > Search Traffic > Site Speed in the direct neighborhood of the
pushing mobile-first indexing, Mobile Usability. In this section searcher, indicating that local SEO
eventually, on a larger scale. In you will learn everything you The speed of your website, optimization is vital for your
other words, consider your need to know about mobile especially your mobile site, should mobile success.
mobile and desktop website with usability issues currently affecting be skyrocketing. In order to
the same level of importance. your site, including a graph with determine your site speed, run a The internet has changed drasti-
your mobile usability status vs. page speed test (a variety of them cally since its creation, and 2017
Currently, mobile-first indexing is time, a report with the total can be found using a simple will be the historic year for
in the experimental stages mainly number of mobile issues, Google search). Most of them will mobile SEO as it takes a
including a limited group of users information about each and a list run and tell you if there are any permanent domination over
that will be expanded once of pages that indicate the issues with the load time with any desktop on Google searches.
Google is confident that they specific problems. of your pages. Scores and issues Change is inevitable, but by
have achieved a desirable user will differ between each individual staying on top of the latest trends,
experience. If your website is 4. Mobile Content page, so make sure that you you’re already a step ahead of the
both desktop and mobile friendly, should be equal to implement these tests on all game. The team at dezinsINTER-
then you will have nothing to Desktop Content pages of your site, making the ACTIVE is always available to
worry about. If not, you have to needed improvements based on answer any questions you
make Mobile SEO a priority, as Check to see if you can find any suggestions. may have.
mobile-first indexing will become differences between your desktop
permanent this year. Check out
these Basic Mobile SEO Tips for
your Website.

1. Conduct a Mobile-
Friendly Test
The first step is to check if, and
how mobile friendly your website
is. Test each individual page of
your website on
search.google.com/search-con-
sole/mobile-friendly by verifying
that each are mobile responsive,
as pages that are not mobile
friendly will be pulling your SEO
results down.

2. Is your Mobile Version
indexed correctly?
Double check if the mobile
19
• Minimal sedation -- you are hour before the procedure. The Sedation dentistry may also be
Sedation awake but relaxed.
• Moderate sedation (formerly
pill will make you drowsy, al-
though you'll still be awake. A
appropriate for people who:

Dentistry called "conscious sedation") --
You may slur your words when
larger dose may be given to pro-
duce moderate sedation. Some
• have a low pain threshold
• can't sit still in the dentist's
By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD speaking and not remember people become groggy enough chair
Ascension Premier Dental much of the procedure. from moderate oral sedation to • have very sensitive teeth
• Deep sedation -- you are on actually fall asleep during the pro- • have a bad gag reflex
Dr. Bessonet is one of only a the edge of consciousness but can cedure but this is rare. • need a large amount of dental
still be awakened. work completed
few dentists in the country • General anesthesia -- you are IV moderate sedation.
trained and certified to completely unconscious. You receive the sedative drug Sometimes, children are given se-
provide IV sedation in the through a vein, so it goes to work dation if they are terrified of
dental office. What Types of Sedation Are more quickly. This method allows going to the dentist or refuse to
Used in Dentistry? the dentist to “titrate” the drugs,
which means he can
cooperate during the visit. Ni-
trous oxide tends to be safe in
Does the thought of having
your teeth fixed make your entire continually adjust the level of se- children, and just about any den-
body tense with fear? Would you The following types of sedation dation until it is ideal for the in- tist can administer it.
rather endure the agony of a are used in dentistry: dividual patient. You cannot do
toothache than step foot in a
Inhaled minimal sedation.
this with oral sedation. Iv seda- Can Any Dentist
dentist's office? You're not
You breathe nitrous oxide --
tion also makes it possible to give
multiple combination of drugs to
Perform Sedation?
alone. A lot of people are so pho-
bic about going to the otherwise known as "laughing suit the patient, as all people have
dentist that they prefer not to gas" -- combined with oxygen different tolerances to different All states require dentists to
have any treatment. through a mask that's placed over types of drugs. provide proof of advanced
For people who avoid dentists your nose. The gas helps you Regardless of which type of training and a certain number of
like the plague, sedation dentistry relax. Your dentist can sedation you receive, you'll also sedation cases completed under
may take away some of their anxi- control the amount of sedation typically need a local anesthetic -- supervision in order to obtain a
ety. Sedation can be used for you receive, and the gas tends to numbing medication at the site license for IV sedation. It's im-
everything from invasive proce- wear off quickly. This is the only where the dentist is working in portant to make sure that your
dures to a simple teeth cleaning. form of sedation where you may the mouth -- to relieve pain if the dentist is trained and qualified to
How it's used depends on the be able to drive yourself home procedure causes any administer the type and level of
severity of the fear. after the procedure. discomfort. sedation you will be receiving.
The dentist should monitor your
What Is Sedation Dentistry? Oral sedation. Depending on the
total dose given, oral sedation Who Can Have Sedation at vital signs during the procedure
following the American Dental
can range from minimal to the Dentist's? Association's guidelines. The
Sedation dentistry uses
medication to help patients relax moderate. For minimal sedation, dentist should also have oxygen -
you take a pill. Typically, the pill Sedation is most appropriate for - artificial ventilation -- and drugs
during dental procedures. It's people with a real fear or anxiety
sometimes referred to as "sleep is Halcion, which is a member of that reverse the effects of seda-
the same drug family as Valium, that is preventing them from tion on hand in case you need
dentistry.” The levels of going to the dentist.
sedation used include: and it's usually taken about an them.

HEALTHY
SMILES FOR
THE WHOLE
FAMILY
EMERGENCIES WELCOME
• IV Sedation
• Invisalign Certified
• Laser-Assisted Decay Detection
• Porcelain Veneers
• Implants
• Wisdom Teeth

Ascension
PREMIER DENTAL
Calvin G. Bessonet, DDS, FAGD
13375 Hwy 73, Suite 1 • Geismar, LA 70734 • Call: 225.673.6910 • www. AscensionDentist.com
20
"Proudly Sponsored by Dutchtown Physical Therapy"

Be on Top of the Schedules
Spring Break April 13th-21st

to Finish up the Year
State Testing Windows
April 26-28 • 5th-8th Grades • ELA and Math Test • Computer Based

2017-2018 PUBLIC SCHOOL REGISTRATION Head Start/Pre K/Kindergarten
May 2-3 • 5th-8th Grades • Social Studies Test • Computer Based
May 5 5th-8th Grades • Science Test • Computer Based
May 1st-5th • 3rd -4th Grades • ELA, Math, Social Studies, Science • Paper/Penci

Monday, April 3, 2017 Wednesday, April 5, 2017 Friday, April 7, 2017
Central Primary Duplessis Primary: Lakeside Primary:
Oak Grove Primary: Dutchtown Primary: Lake Elementary:
Prairieville Primary: Spanish Lake Primary Galvez Primary:
9:00 A.M. to 12:00 P.M. 9:00 A.M. to 12:00 P.M. 9:00 A.M. to 12:00 P.M.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017 Thursday, April 6, 2017 PARENTS: The following information is
required for Kindergarten Registration:
Ascension Head Start G.W. Carver Primary:
Donaldsonville Primary Gonzales Primary • Child’s Birth Certificate
St. Amant Primary Pecan Grove Primary • Up to date Immunization/shot records
9:00 A.M. to 12:00 P.M. Sorrento Primary • Proof of Residence (example: utility
9:00 A.M. to 12:00 P.M. bill/including service address)
• Child’s Social Security card
(not just a number)
Those entering Kindergarten should be five years of age by September 30, 2017.

"Your Community
Physical Therapy
Provider" for
9 years.

Stephen Jackson, PT, DPT

(225) 744-3631 • fax (225) 744-3647
DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY • 13053 HIGHWAY 73, SUITE B • GEISMAR, LOUISIANA 70734

21
Brady James Chifici, a name that Jewelers ( Layne Gautreaux), D &
will live forever in the hearts of J groceries( Donna and Jeff
disabled children. Brady was Kling), The Grapevine ( Brent
diagnosed with Spinal Bifida at Barbier) , The Donaldsonville
22 weeks into my wife’s Rotary club ( Marvin Gros and
pregnancy, although we cannot Sandy Gautreaux, Lamar Dixon
question God’s plan, it was his Expo Center(Kyle Rogers and Jazz
will. Brady passed on to our Lord Traylor), LMR Digital Billboards
on December 21, 2016. This ( Denise Grafisi), Geaux Shirts
horrible life changing experience ( Jerry and Jamie Binder) , Pat
has brought us to want to be able Rusha’s Remodeling and Race
to help families that have went Team ( Pat Rusha), KPR
through the same experience we Productions (Kevin Roberts), and
went through or are going through team members who all take part
on a daily basis. My wife and I in making the foundation grow
have started the Brady James each day. Needless to say were
Chifici Sport Foundation in honor far from done, at Lamar Dixon on
of our little man that we have lost. April 22, 2017 we will hold a
benefit on what would have been
On February 18, 2017 at the Brady James birth day. The benefit
VFW Hall on Churchpoint Road in will consist of a Jambalaya cook
Gonzales Louisiana with the help off, Car show, Bike show,
of Brent Gautreaux, we held our spacewalk for the kids, craft
benefit to help our disabled booths, silent auction, live music,
children of our community and DJ’s, and Brady James Chifici
surrounding areas. We raised Sport Foundation merchandise
funds to provide families with for sale.
medical issues, sickness, and
low income families with some All proceeds go to our sick and
financial issues due to caring for disabled children of our commu-
their disable loved ones. Through nity. Please come out and support
the help of family, friends, and our a great cause! For more informa-
surrounding businesses, tion please call Justin or Krystle
Ascension Clean and Care ( Paul Chifici at 225-229-2998.
and Connie Manning), Layne’s

Brady James Fundraiser
Lamar Dixon on April 22, 2017
• Jambalaya cook off • Car show • Bike show
Craft booths • Silent auction • Live music

22
R E A LT O R ® L O G I C W I T H T H E O N E A L G R O U P
Tap into Your Home Purchase Investment your desired level of wealth. Once
you achieve one goal, reassess and
Appreciation Property set the bar higher.
Experts expect home prices to ap- Investment properties provide 1. What is your idea of wealth?
preciate 3.24 percent and grow by passive income to your growing What do you want your
21.4 percent cumulatively.2 If a financial portfolio. More than net worth to be in 5 years, in
homeowner purchases a home this 25 percent of Americans say 10 years and in 20 years?
year for $250,000, they could earn real estate is the best way to
more than $40,000 in equity over invest money you may not need 2. Write down your short-term
the next five years. Although the for the next 10 years.4 While many and long-term goals.
home value of the average Ameri- people flip houses to make Once you have your goals in mind,
can family’s home is $165,000, money—that is, they buy a home write them down. This will make it
home values vary by market.3 at a low price, fix it up and sell it easier to refer to them later on.
quickly—others purchase multi-
Build Equity in family properties to create monthly 3. Develop a budget to help you
cash flow to save or to reinvest in reach these goals.
Your Home other properties. A budget not only helps you
understand where your money
One of the most compelling The longer you own a property, goes each month, it may also
reasons to own a home is it the better investment it becomes as prevent you from overspending.
allows you to build wealth over you’ll continue to build equity. That way you can have more
time. Saving for a down payment, While rental costs rise with money to save and invest.
especially if you plan to put down inflation, your mortgage will
more than 20 percent, helps you remain the same. The best part? To increase the amount you
adopt good financial habits. The Once you pay off the mortgage, can invest, make adjustments
more you put down when you buy, your cash flow will increase. to your daily spending and
the higher your share of equity monthly bills, if possible. Look
when you close. Although for the There are tax benefits to owning for opportunities to save money
first five to seven years, the investment property as well. and transfer that savings
majority of your payment will go You may be able to claim into your accounts.
toward interest, over time more deductions for depreciation, as
money will be applied to the long as it fits within the guidelines;
principal. Build equity sooner by
If you’re curious about
repairs, travel expenses, interest the value of your home
The Compound Effect: choosing a shorter amortization and more. If you’re thinking of
or looking to invest in
term. While your payment may be purchasing investment property,
Building Your higher, you’ll likely qualify talk to your tax professional to get homeownership,
Household’s Wealth for a lower interest rate and will the details. give us a call!
pay less interest over the life
of the loan. Ricky O’Neal 225-939-6686
Wealth is within reach for many Achieve More Wealth
people; however, according to a Sources: 1. Bank Rate.com by Creating Financial ricky@onealgroupllc.com
recent study 63 percent of 2. Pulsenomics, Home Price Expectation
Americans said it’s not likely Survey Q4 2016 Goals Shari O’Neal 225-936-2696
they’ll become rich.1 3. Statistic Brain, August 1, 2016
4. The Motley Fool, July 30, 2016
Setting a goal will help you achieve
shari@onealgroupllc.com
Don’t just dream of being wealthy;
start taking the steps to make it a Pay Down Your
reality. There is no secret to
becoming rich: it takes time, Mortgage…or Not
sacrifice and good financial sense.
Here are a few ways to build your Many homeowners grapple with
household’s wealth. whether or not to pay down their
mortgage. On one hand, if you pay
it down, or pay it off early, you’ll
Let Compound save money on interest, which you
Interest Work for You can use to make other investments.
On the other hand, if your goal is
Compound interest is your interest to be debt free, it’s better to pay
earning interest. While the concept off your higher-interest debt, such
may work against you when you as credit card debt, first before
take out a loan to buy a car or use paying down your mortgage debt.
your credit card, it works in your Additionally, if you’re saving for
favor when saving money. Your retirement, putting extra cash
money will grow exponentially the toward your retirement accounts
longer you save: the more money will help you build a nice nest egg
you’ve saved, the more your to enjoy later on. Your financial
money will grow. For example, if advisor can help you decide if
your savings is growing at a rate of paying off or paying down
four percent, your investment your mortgage is right for
will double in eight years and your goals.
quadruple in 16 years.

11414 Lake Sherwood N. Baton Rouge LA 70816
www.onealgroupllc.com • 225-500-1125

23
South Louisiana’s
4th Annual Crawfish Boiling
Contest Festival Benefitting
“Dreams Come True of Louisiana”
April 8, 2017
Gates Open to Public at 9:00 a.m.
$5.00 admission Children 12 and under free
“We’re bringing back the Cajun Navy”

We are Looking
for Sponsors
Have your company’s name
displayed on Banners/Signs
throughout the day for the
various events:
• Car show
• Crawfish boiling contest
• In door-Craft Booths over 200
• Crawfish eating contest
• The band “Chee-Weez”
• Washer board contest
• DJ Booth
• Jambalaya Festival Booth
• Silent Auction
• T-shirt booth
• Kids fishing Rodeo
• Kids play land
• beer/drink booth
• Boiled crawfish booth
• Pony Rides
• Cracklin Cook-Off
• Petting Zoo
• Jambalaya Cook-Off
• Crawfish Stew
• Crawfish Etouffee
• The band ”Na-Na-Sha”
We ask that you consider sponsoring the crawfish
boiling cook-off and help continue a Louisiana tradi-
tion. An event that will help Louisiana children. All
money raised will go to “Dreams Come True of
Louisiana”. Granting dreams to children in Louisiana
with life threatening illnesses.

Thank you,
Rodney Dupuy Jr. 225-328-6735
• Please make checks payable to Dreams Come
True. Send check and Logo by: March 14, 2017.
Mail to: South Louisiana Crawfish Boiling Contest
44580 Hwy 42, Prairieville, LA 70769
Email Logo to: Cajunlivinncookin@yahoo.com
The Hall for
All Occassions!
Accommodates up
to 300 guest.
• Full catering menu
• Outdoor Pavillion
for Weddings
• Space for seminars
• Business meetings
• Birthday parties
Call to set up an appointment
to view our venues.

225.677.5545
17425 Airline Hwy • Prairieville
27
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622.5085
44253 Hwy. 42 ( 1 m i l e f r o m P o r t V i n c e n t )

28
specs definitely came back to the stretch of highway roadside be-
lake a little later than normal tween Reggio and Delacriox. I
last winter, but they did return. have never been to that spot
Lake fishermen are claiming and not been successful. Please
that the freshwater caused a try that spot with your kids.
spike in aquatic vegetation in There is plenty of great fish-
the lake that is holding scores of ing just a short drive from our
bait. The fishing there should parish. Try the Tchefuncte
be very good this summer. River, Old River in Morganza,
Many from this area make the Gibson area and the new ef-
tracks for the Reggio-Delacroix forts to revive False River
area. It stands for reason. It's a should make a promising desti-
little further trip than Lake nation in the future. Whatever
Pontchartrain, but it's not near choice you make, you should
as far a truck ride as Grand Isle not have any problem enjoying

FISHING OUTLOOK FOR 2017 or Venice. The fishing there will
be great at some point but like
many south Louisiana fish fries
this summer. That's just another
Not long ago I ran into an rette area shows that the fishing most areas in the marshland reason to love the region in
old friend of mine in the gro- there will be on the upswing for your success will depend on which we live...
cery store. He explained that he sure. I've already seen some wind speed. One plus for this
often reads my articles and re- beautiful catches of sac-a-lait area is you can catch large-
quested that I give a prediction and bass from the Grassy Lake mouths and reds in the interior Till Next Time,
of some kind on what may be area. As usual the awesome Lake marsh if the specs become too
some productive fishing spots Verret catfish bite in the cypress big a challenge. "Good Luck"
for the upcoming months. Well, trees should continue as it has When I find that I've caught
I still fish quite a bit after hunt- for the last several years. If you my share of fish for the time James "Goosie" Guice
ing season is over, but not as don't have a boat then purchase being I'll turn my efforts to-
much as I used to. With that yourself a box of cold worms ward crabbing. Pointe-aux-Ch-
being said, I am constantly and head to the rocks at Lake enes is an excellent crabbing
around all types of fishermen at Palourde. As soon as the lake destination. The Grand Isle
work and through my affiliation comes into view, turn at the first beach can be fabulous for crab-
with the Ascension Sportsmans exit to your left. Fish against bing usually in July and August.
League and Louisiana Outdoor these rocks or out a little ways One one of my favorite crab-
Writers Association. with a cork about three feet bing locations is a four mile

If you are a fan of the article, ‘Thoughts from Bully’,
Let's start right here at deep and you'll be home clean-

you can now purchase the book on Amazon !
home. We were lucky to get by ing a box of catfish by eleven o'-
with a minimal fish kill from the clock. Fish there April, May, and

Simply go to Amazon and type in the title in the search
August flood. Fishing in the June. Not heresay, I do it regu-
Amite and Blind River basin larly. We'll see what the
should be very good this year. Atchafalaya Basin brings as bar and purchase this ridiculously fun book.
By the time this article is pub- water levels begin to recede.
lished the biggest part of the The fishing there may not
sac-a-lait and bass spawn will be match what it used to be for
over. These fish can still be some folks but it can still hold
caught in good numbers in shal- its own. There's no place that
low water through the end of I've ever seen that compares
May. As the summer heat pro- with its beauty and bounty of
gresses you'll have to fish a little fish, birds, frogs, and crawfish.
deeper, but the action should On the salt water side all in-
still be great. Bluegills and Gog- dications from winter catches of
gle-eyes will do their thing in specs and reds suggest that the
this area in the early summer spring and summer fishing
and the catches will reach out should be great. Grand Isle
from our waterways and across beach catches, depending on
Lake Maurepas to the Ruddock the wind, will generally start in
area. There is some really good April and last throughout the
fishing over there. All of our summer with the size of the fish
local waterways will be a very diminishing as time passes on.
good choice for catfishing in Try Lake Pontchartrain for
April, May, and June. Remem- specs in the early summer. It's
ber the Bonnet Carre Spillway amazing that the fish have made
was open for quite a while last a comeback there after all of the
winter and this puts an enor- freshwater that has passed
mous amount of catfish in our through there from the Bonnet
water. Carre opening last January fol-
From all reports that I have lowed by two floods, one in the
gotten so far from the Lake Ver- spring and one in August. The

29
Sgt. Pepper Tackles March Madness by Bill Delaune

“Genius is a form of madness it’s Trump or the Russians or the
and we’re all that way.” CIA or that drunk detective from
John Lennon. ‘The Killing Fields’. But I’m
going to blow their equipment
I know all you “legal immi- with some Beatle technology from
grants” who migrated to Ascension the 60’s. Like when they ran the
Parish for one reason or another in tape backwards on ‘Strawberry
the last 20 years or so get tired of Fields Forever’. I’m using ‘Sgt.
hearing us life-long residents Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club
lament about the “way things used Band’ right now for obvious
to be”. reasons.”
In fact, if you would like to get a “Because they experimented with
glimpse of “Prairieville in the so many different sounds like
Past”, load up the kids one day and George Harrison’s haunting sitar
come by my family’s “De- solo on ‘Within You and Without
launederosa” land across from St. You’,” I ventured a guess.
John’s Catholic Church on “Not bad, Tree Killer. Maybe
Highway 73. There, on the last 80 that rag you and Bully put out is
acres of undeveloped land in the good for something besides a
area, you will get tractor rides ($10 canary cage bottom. Or maybe it’s
a head-hey, we have taxes to pay.), because it’s the 50th anniversary of
your own personal bale of hay the album that revolutionized the
($10 a bale) and the kids can feed recording industry,” he lectured.
and pet a real-live cow ($5 a cow)- “I’ve got to admit it’s getting
a small price to pay for an better, a little better all the time…”
invaluable history lesson. blared the speakers as if to echo
Or you can choose our bonus Ninja’s sentiments.
“Rainy Day Package” where your How could I have forgotten such
entire group gets stuck in the a monumental occasion. The
ditch-much to the delight of the Beatles had quit touring in 1967
mud racers in your entourage-and and gone exclusively into the
gets rescued by brother-in-law studio. The concept of “Sgt.
Mike on his super tractor. We’re Pepper’s” was to have the band
talking family entertainment in its perform as their alter-egos and
purest form here. include a variety of styles ranging
What brought all this on, you from music hall (“When I’m 64”)
ask? Well, I suppose it was during to 60’s trippy (“A Day in the
my annual spring pilgrimage down Life”).
Alligator Bayou Road where I go With the help of their
to seek wisdom-and maybe borrow multi-talented, classically trained
a few bucks-from the great, all- producer George Martin (often
knowing, all-seeing Sports Ninja. referred to as the “Fifth Beatle”),
As I strolled down the once the Beatles became increasingly
gravel-covered route, the contrast experimental and achieved sounds
in what it used to be- a wooded in a studio that were impossible to
area patrolled by Frank and reproduce in a live performance.
Boodah’s coon dogs-to the The result was the 1967 release
sprawling subdivision there of “Sgt. Pepper’s”-an immediate
now-was never more evident. commercial and critical success.
experienced such drastic changes me, it wasn’t Jim and Darryl.
I can remember directing friends Even the album cover was iconic
when they returned to their The unmistakable voice of Sir
to the Alligator Hilton where with portraits of everyone from
respective shrines over the years. Paul McCartney echoed through
those famous American Edgar Allan Poe to Bob Dylan on
For instance, did Chaucer’s the remaining woodlands asking
singer-songwriters Jim Bullion and the top row and Marilyn Monroe
characters ever remark, “I don’t the age-old question, “Will you
Darryl Smith entertained a motley among many other dignitaries on
remember Canterbury being this still need me, will you still feed me,
crew of cowboys, hippies, bikers the second. The star-studded third
crowded.” when I’m 64?”
and college kids on Sunday night row included boxer Sonny Liston,
Or the swallows who Then another recognizable voice
and having them turn around actor Marlon Brando and child star
return to Capistrano every from under the bridge and-to my
before arriving-thinking I had Shirley Temple.
March 19-“Damn, Heathcliff, relief-it was not a troll but the
jokingly sent them down some “I get by with a little help from
another mission since we were elusive Sports Ninja.
dead end road. my friends…” Ringo was now
here last year. More steeples, “Psst. Hey, Fish Wrap, over
Even my own boys-back when singing-a tune later made famous
more peoples.” here. Happy birthday and all those
they were pre-teens-questioned my by Joe Cocker and the theme from
Or the buzzards who come back other formalities.” His voice was
sanity during a trip to Bayou the popular TV show “The
to Hinckley, Ohio, annually on barely above a whisper.
Paul when I chose Alligator Wonder Years”.
March 15-“Man, this place used to “Thanks-and you know how
Bayou Road instead of a more “So have you come here looking
be so dead.” much I dig the Beatles. But it’s
conventional route. After miles of for a little help from your friends,
But my nostalgic memories and been four years since I was 64 and
curving through the then-desolate my mild-mannered muckraker?
whimsical fancies were interrupted why is the music so loud? And
wilderness, one finally wondered Every spring, it’s the same old
by some ear-piercing sounds-loud why are we whispering?” I asked.
out loud, “Daddy, are you sure this song-you’re depressed over
enough to be heard in my deaf “The whole place is bugged,” he
road has an end?” another birthday, you can’t tell the
ear-emitting from the rickety old replied looking cautiously over
But now, I was the one Republicans from the Russians and
Alligator Hilton Bar. And, believe both shoulders. “I don’t know if

30
wondering if other spring pilgrims
you can’t pick your nose in the great Bruin squad of 1967. The Ninja was full of himself now. 50 years.”
March Madness pools,” he coach Steve Alford even has his son “Last song, first side-“For the I admitted I was impressed with
accurately assessed. Bryce pretending to shoot 3’s like Benefit of Mr. Kite…” the effort and the selections. But
“Well, I can’t help you with the Steve did at Indiana. But no face appeared on the there was still something that
first two. But some of our mutual “So for ‘Great Pretenders’ screen this time-just a highly- gnawed at me.
friends from ‘Sgt. Pepper’s’ are everywhere, I pick UCLA. Now, agitated voice in complete denial… “Remember the last time we
here to assist you with the latter. when that song is over can you put “What benefit? I didn’t take any took teams that spelled out
Because of some unfortunate on The Platters for me…’Oh yes, money. Two K’s? Don’t know L-U-C-K, as in Louisville, UCLA,
events in each one’s past, we’ll be I’m the great pretender…’” what you’re talking about. Must Carolina and Kansas/Kentucky.
using Skype so as not to give away Ninja seemed pleased with his mean Kentucky and Kansas. Yeah, Three of them made it but Florida
their current location. technological skills and his clever I’m sure that’s what it means.” beat out Louisville and we
He noticed the puzzled look on associations. “Wait until you hear “I guess we’ll accept Mr. Kite’s got-well, screwed.”
my face and assured me there was a from ‘Lucy in the Sky with K’s then since he seems to be flying But the Sports Ninja was already
method to his madness. “Trust Diamonds’”, he beamed. “Cue about these days,” said the Sports piled into his ’49 manure truck
me,” he said. “There’s not enough the third song from the first Ninja. “And last but not least, with “Good Morning” (third song,
trust in the world these days. Now side and…” representing the second song on second side) complete with
without further ado…” A bawdy lady-of-the-evening the second side-‘Lovely Rita, roosters crowing coming from
On cue, Paul’s voice screamed type appeared on the screen with Meter Maid’.” inside. “Got to keep moving,
from the title track, “So let me enough bling to draw the envy of Still in uniform, a once-perky Clark Kent. Ever since you hung
introduce to you-the one and an NBA player during All-Star lady-now wearing a worn face from this Ninja tag on me, the
only Billy Shears…” week. In a sultry voice she too many days in the rainy weather immigration officials think I’m
On a screen set up on the began… began almost apologetically… here illegally. Hell, I can’t even get
Hilton’s porch appeared a nervous “When John wrote the song, he “I thought that’s why they hired on a plane anymore. Good luck
British gentleman who bore some wanted a not-so-subtle reference to me-to issue tickets to those who with the picks. I’ll see you for
resemblance to Paul McCartney. the drug LSD in the title. broke the law. But when I found the Derby.”
He spoke in a shaking voice as one Therefore when I turned to the all those violations on the North He roared off down the road
who had never adjusted to his role world’s oldest profession, I altered Carolina campus, they told me to leaving me with thoughts of
in life. it some to become ‘Lucy in keep it quiet or else bad things Beatles, and riding in the back of
“Do you know what it’s like Disguise with Diamonds’. I got a would happen to me-like tarring pickup trucks and 1967 when I did
being Paul’s double? Being the job in Kentucky supplying my girls my heels and other stuff. But I’ll pick UCLA and Lew Alcindor to
‘Great Pretender’ all your life? as escorts for Louisville basketball take Carolina because I know they win it all-maybe my last victory.
Ever since they recruited me to recruits. We used to say, “To get have good players-even if they Give peace a chance.
participate in that 60’s ‘Paul is the best talent on the court, use don’t go to class.”
dead’ hoax, I’ve never had a life of the best talent escorts!” “Well,” smiled Ninja, “what do
my own. “Therefore, Louisville Lucy is you think? Straight from the
“Just like this year’s UCLA team. going with the Cards to win it all. Sergeant’s mouth-or at least
They want to pretend they’re Oh, by the way, the coach wasn’t from some of his most famous
National Champions just like the too bad on that pool table either.” characters. And remember, these
cats have been around for

WE ARE THE SEAFOOD SPECIALIST $100 off Termite Treatment
$25 off Initial Pest Control
• Oysters By the Sack
Pest Prevention Programs • Real Estate Certificates
• Fresh Shrimp
• Pre-Construction Soil / Borate Treatment

Local • Licensed • Insured • Bonded
• A Wide Variety • Termite Treatment Programs • Mosquito Suppression Services
of Fish and Seafood
• Snow Crabs
• Turtle Meat

Ask for Sally’s stuff crabs. Doug & Sally
You’ll love them.
225-644-7466 Ascension • 225-924-7096 Baton Rouge
Website www.BeebesPest.com
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Foret Tradition FREE WIFI
March 10th

with Kellie
Useless Random Facts

Monday Night
The fastest wind speed not related to tornadoes ever DJ MUSIC & KARAOKE
recorded was during the passage of Tropical Cyclone $4 Bombs
Olivia on 10 April 1996: an automatic weather station on $2.50 Blue Moon Drafts
Barrow Island, Australia, registered a maximum wind gust
of 408 km/h (220 kn; 253 mph; 113 m/s).

Tuesday Wednesday
The two busiest commercial ports in the United States do DJ MUSIC/KARAOKE DJ MUSIC / KARAOKE
not border the Atlantic or Pacific, but the Gulf of Mexico: $5 Double Wells! 2 for 1 Bomb Shots Sp ecial $5 Bombs Coors Draft Combos
They're in New Orleans and Houston.
• Friday
The timing, size, and stream of bubbles in a glass of
champagne are influenced by dirt and "gas pockets" on 3/17 ... Sofa Kings
the side of the glass. 3/24 ... Paperchase

Before finishing his education, earning a doctorate, and
3/31 ... Foret Tradition
inventing the sport basketball, Dr. James Naismith was a 4/7 ... Orphan Annie
high school dropout. 4/14 ... Hi Maintenance

Researchers in Japan have developed a camera that can Saturday
capture 4.4 trillion frames per second. Phone cameras
max out around 120 frames per second. 3/18 ... Karaoke
• 3/25 ... Jam Cracker
During sleep, fluid in the body tends to pool in low-lying
areas, which is why most of us wake up with noticeable
4/1 ... Karaoke
bags under our eyes. 4/8 ... Voyage
• 4/15 ... Hip Deep
When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
• Every Sunday
SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHT 2 FOR 1
Bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun.
DJ MUSIC & KARAOKE ... $2.50 Domestics!!

Come Enjoy Golden Tee and Target Toss Pro
“Facebook Addiction Disorder” is a mental disorder
identified by Psychologists.

Human saliva has a boiling point three times that MEGATOUCH, AND POOL TABLES.
of regular water.
E V E R Y D AY A T H A P P Y H O U R ,

T R Y Y O U R L U C K A T R O L L - A - D AY !
The person who invented the Frisbee was cremated and
made into Frisbees after he died! “ L I K E ” U S O N FA C E B O O K
Visit our website:www.parkplaceofgonzales.com
• 1711 S. BURNSIDE • GONZALES • 644-8901
Movie trailers were originally shown after the movie, "BEST HAPPY HOUR IN THE AREA!
which is why they were called “trailers”. $2.75 DOMESTIC LONGNECKS!"
33
Thoughts from Bully
The Memories
and Stupid
Stories from
the Hunting

We Finally Got It Right?
Camp (Part 2)
After I showcased our
hunting camp news letter last
month I have had about twelve
friends invite themselves to my For the past 15 years Bully and Ram our labor of love was
camp. They seem to make the have been teaming up to cook crack- actually a reason to sit down for 3-4
same comments like, “You guys most of them will tell you that lins. It’s been a big learning curve. hrs. and drink beer.
are crazy, I want to come themselves. First we learned, don’t let Ram sea-
If you like stupid stuff keep son all of the
there.” cracklins un-
We are crazy. I can testify reading this.
less you want
there are a few people in WARNING: ARTICLES INCLUDE MALE to lose your
Oxford Crazy as a loon. The LOCKER ROOM BANTER AND STORIES taste buds for
best part of that statement is OF BODY FUNCTIONS. a week.
Then we
learned don’t
let him count
and hand out
the bags.
Because he
uses math
logic of 1 for

The true and not so true stories from the Oxford Hunting Club.

Top 5 Passout Photos and Grand Prize Winner
you 2
for me.
What
seemed to be

5
5. Fish • Using the classic

4. Josh • Using the, ‘Look
‘I’m thinking Pose?’

3. Chopper • Do I have
at the stars technic.’

2. Joe Bob • I hope I
doody on my shoe pose!

1. Johnny • Somebody
didn’t kiss Kalep prayer?

4
Grand Prize. Brisket •
check if he is breathing?

Legendary ‘DIG’ skull
Ground zero for Artic
Party epidemic. Don’t get

found in the Black Woods
close to him! I think 14

3 2 G
people got sick.

The legendary Black
Woods reaches out to re-
mind us, with this skull. It
says tred lightly when you
venture my way.
Few have ventured that
way. Some who did vowed
to never return.
The ‘DIG’ skull found

1
proves that there was the
creature. The creature was
part deer and part pig. A
thick head beast with deer

34
horns and deer tusk.
1 3 0 5 3 H W Y. 4 3 1 • S T. A M A N T

Oxford Hunting Club Camp Owners
Association Improve Standards. FIRESTONE BRIDGSTONE CREDIT CARDS
The members Oxford Hunting Club Holding in warmth and keeping out ACCEPTED AND AVAILABLE AT BIGGEAUX’S
has evolved from from pup tents and moisture.
sleeping bags on the ground at the The Ram pointed out to me that as
Old Camp to the State Park we live in nice and secure as it was there were
today. still a few cracks that allowed a snake State-of-the-Art
I thought I’d reflect on some of the or two inside. He had found some Equipment
inadequate dwellings we’ve resided in. snake turds on his bed. He didn’t
There was the drunk tank that at seem to be too alarmed. He pointed
one time was a high class place. out to me if he put his battery Front End
I personally have resided any many operated fan on during the night, the Alignments
structures that made me the black vibration would keep the snakes away.

NOW STOCKING: ANCO WIPERS,
sheep of residential living at the camp. Well I don’t know about you but I

HERCULES TIRES, INTERSTATE BATTERIES
There was the ‘Batcave and ‘The Crys- don’t think I would trust the fan tech- 9:52am 11/25/17
tal Palace’. Let’s not forget the Beverly nique however who can go against the
Hill Billies replica known as the ‘Cab- Ram. He’s never wrong! Just ask him.
ina’. He’ll prove you wrong everytime.
There was a time when this van that I’m gonna stand on the side of ‘The
was drug to the camp to be the best Ram’ because I don’t want to argue
dwelling at the camp because it was with him about why I was going

Andy Passes on
water proof and solid. against him.

Hunting Skills and
Life Lessons.
It was time to pass
24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service
hunting skills over to his
grand kids. Andy instructed
no burping, fartin’,
giggling and if you don’t
kill anything I have a plan
for you when we return.
(Seebelow photo for final results
of the hunting trip)

We’re Sorry
I’m sorry I’m sorry Pa Paw. We’ll
• All tires from ATV to Commercial Machinery • Emergency road service
• All brands to fit autos, trucks and assistance-Commercial Only
kill something 18 wheelers, including tractor/ • Locally owned and operated since 2004
next time. construction equipment tires • New used and retreads

Locally Owned & Operated by
Oscar and Linda Mire and sons
Call for Appointment • 225.644.8473
35
Mardi Gras at the
Pink House in Church Point
The “Pink House” on Main Street in Church Point,
Louisiana is where a Mardi Gras tradition first took
place in 1999. Mike Jagneaux started cooking at the
pink house for this Mardi Gras celebration to
alleviate the burden of his mother, Enola Daigle
Jagneaux, having to prepare food and clean-up for
all the family and friends that used the “Pink House”
as the Mardi Gras reunion place.
Like many families in 1968, Mike’s family miagrated
to Ascension Parish from Church Point and Port
Sulpher to work at thge Uncle Sam Plant near
Convent.
Once a year they return to Church Point to enjoy
their roots with the chasing of the chickens for gumbo
and reconnect with family and friends.
Next year visit the parade in Chuch Point and
experience South Louisiana at its best.

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Live Entertainment • 1st, 2nd, 3rd place awards • Judged by the Jambalaya Festival Association

'Cooking for
4th Annual

a Cause'
Jambalaya
Cook-Off
Wounded Combat Coalition, home
Sunday April 30th to benefit

of Wounded Wear which
supports combat
veterans across the

We need teams and sponsors.
United States

For More Information contact Zack or Katie • Facebook.com/tigertavern
14505 Highway 44, Gonzales, LA 70737 • (225) 622-3719
Please help us give back to those who have given everything.
37
Ascension Parish Finance Department
Wins National Award
Ascension Parish President
Kenny Matassa has announced
that the Parish Finance
Department has been awarded
The Certificate of Achievement
for Excellence in Financial
Reporting for the eighth
consecutive year.

“I am so proud of the accom-
plishments of our Finance De-
partment,” said Matassa. “This
shows the Parish’s commitment
to maintaining high standards in
the way we handle the people’s
money. I commend Gwen Photo Tag Line: Front Row, Left to Right: Assistant Treasurer Dawn Caballero, President Kenny Matassa, Treasurer and Chief Financial Officer
Gwen LeBlanc, and Assistant Treasurer Amanda Berot. Back Row, Left to Right: Finance Department staff accountants Toni Ourso, Sherri Bellina,
LeBlanc and her staff for this Abbey Roussel, Celeste Harris, Leslie Daigle, Val Cummins, Carol Celestin, Ashley Barnes, Lynda Timmons, and Laurie Lemoine. Not pictured are
staff accountants Ann Falcon and Shelley Villar.
well-deserved award.”
for Excellence in Financial Association of the United States recognition in the area of
Reporting is awarded by the and Canada (GFOA) and is governmental accounting and
The Certificate of Achievement
Government Finance Officers considered the highest form of rfinancial reporting.

You’re Invited to Our Annual
"Best Catch" Fish Fry
Dear Friends,

It has been a great pleasure to represent the people of District 59 in the Louisiana House of
Representatives for the past 14 months. During that time, we have had one Regular Session and
three Special Sessions, and I have done my best to be your voice in State Government every single
day since I took office.

Some of the key issues that I have fought for are balancing the budget without gimmicks, keeping K-12
schools fully funded, demanding accountability in St...ate agencies, funding TOPS, funding Higher
Education, and improving our local roads. While I'd like to proclaim full success in each of these areas,
the truth is that there is much more work that needs to be done to make Louisiana State Government
more efficient, transparent, and responsible.

I want to continue to be on the front line, fighting for Louisiana and for District 59, as your
Representative, and to that end, I hope that you will join me for our Annual "Best Catch" Fish Fry

Geaux Tigers
and Fundraiser later this month.

If you'd like to be a part of this event, please come dressed casual and ready for a good time.
The event will be at The Grand Pavilion, located at 14210 Airline Hwy, in Prairieville and will
be from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Friday March 24th. We’ll See You at ‘The Box’
If you would like to participate, email your name and address to tbacala2@yahoo.com, and
I'll send you a pre-addressed and stamped envelop for you to purchase an advanced ticket.
They are $100 per couple.

As always, if you have any questions about our Annual
"Best Catch" Fish Fry or anything else, please call me on
my cell phone. The number is 225-921-3852.

Thanks,
Tony Bacala, State Representative, District 5
JOIN US AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE
April 29, 2017 6:00 p.m. – 12:00 a.m.
Lamar Dixon Exposition Center 4-H Building,
What is Relay For Life? businesses, clubs, families, friends, hospitals, churches, schools
and service organizations. These people share a common
Relay For Life is the American Cancer Society’s signature purpose — their support of the American Cancer Society’s
fund-raising event, bringing communities together in hope, mission. During the event, team members take turns walking on
celebration and memory. It is a unique event that offers the track setting up a tent site. Each participant is encouraged
everyone in the community an opportunity to participate in the to raise at least $100 for the American Cancer Society.
fight against cancer. The event remembers those who have lost
the fight against cancer and honors those who have survived. Why Relay For Life?
Who participates? This year, it is estimated that more than 1,500 people each day
will die from cancer. More than 1.4 million new cases of cancer
Because Relay For Life is a community event, everyone is are expected to be diagnosed in 2015. Cancer is the second
encouraged to participate. Teams of 10 to 15 people form from leading cause of death in the United States, and one of every
three deaths is from cancer. In the United States, men have a

40
one in two lifetime risk of developing cancer; For more information:
for women the risk is one in three. Relay For
Life represents the hope that those lost to Lexie Grush – Community Manager,
cancer will never be forgotten, that those Relay For Life – 985-788-7982
who face cancer will be supported and that
one day cancer will be eliminated. Or call your American Cancer Society at
1-800-ACS-2345 for information
24 hours any day.
Our Mission
American Cancer Society Baton Rouge Office
The American Cancer Society is the 10528 Kentshire Ct., Baton Rouge, LA 70810
nationwide, community-based, voluntary (phone) 225-927-0782 (fax) 225-767-1374
health organization dedicated to eliminating Cancer Information: 1.800.ACS.2345,
cancer as a major health problem by www.cancer.org
preventing cancer, saving lives and diminishing
suffering from cancer, through research,
education, advocacy and service.
EAST ASCENSION SOFTBALL 2017

Y O U T H P H O T O PA G E S P O N S O R E D B Y

Same Great People • Same Great Service 18562 HIGHLAND DRIVE, BATON ROUGE, 225-751-8473
1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

42
ST. AMANT SOFTBALL 2017

Y O U T H P H O T O PA G E S P O N S O R E D B Y

Same Great People • Same Great Service 18562 HIGHLAND DRIVE, BATON ROUGE, 225-751-8473
1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

43
DUTCHTOWN SOFTBALL 2017

Y O U T H P H O T O PA G E S P O N S O R E D B Y

Same Great People • Same Great Service 18562 HIGHLAND DRIVE, BATON ROUGE, 225-751-8473
1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103
Ingredients:
Cooking Gourmet at Home
with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS
6 eggs (hard boiled)
¼ cup mayonnaise
¼ to ½ lb peeled boiled crawfish tails
¼ cup green onions (thinly sliced)
2 boiled red potatoes (mashed)
1 tablespoon Creole mustard
1 teaspoon dry crab boil mix
Salt & Pepper to taste
1 or 2 corn cobs (cut corn off of the cob)

“After the Boil” Method:
Peel all of your boiled eggs. Cut them in half length ways and
carefully remove the yolks. Place all the yolks in a mixing bowl
Deviled Eggs and add your mayo, mustard and green onions. Be sure that
before adding your corn and potatoes that you chop and mash
them as much as possible to ensure proper mixture. Finally,
Yield: 12
rough chop your crawfish tails and add to mixture. Salt and
pepper the mixture to taste. Using a piping bag or spoon add the
Prep: 15 minutes
mixture back into the boiled egg halves. Sprinkle with dry crab
boil and serve.
Chef
General Manager
Cook: 20 minutes
Ben Jarreau

ENJOY!!!!!!
Serving: 6

45
$100 OFF
60 DAY PLAN
NEW CLIENTS ONLY

46