Thesis Statement:

In Mathesons I Am Legend, Robert Nevile is repeatedly proved as the

monster in this story. We learn to sympathize with his character. Many of his
decisions I would make. In doing so, we reveal that monsters are inside of us.
We are all monsters in our own personal ways. Through understanding the
monster are we then able to develop relations and connections with each
other.

Adrienne Chavez
1. Is the thesis statement well formed?
a. Is it grammatically correct? Are verb tenses correct?
- Some tenses may not be correct. I circled it on your paper for
you to double check.
b. Are there issues with punctuation?
i. 2x CHECK: Comma splices.
Good.
ii. 2x CHECK: Incorrect semicolons.
- I made a possible sentence use a semicolon instead of a
conjunction.
2. Does the thesis statement mention the kinds of evidence that will be
examined?
- Yes there is evidence of what kinds of evidence will be examined. It
will be a comparison between the United States and the book
written at the time. I feel like maybe more information on
communism such as mentioning the Soviet Union would be good.
3. Is the thesis statement addressing rhetorical issues?
a. Does the thesis statement include assertions about how a
particular reading is made possible or necessary because of the
way certain techniques or textual considerations (diction,
characterization, plotting, symbolism, metaphor, irony,
foreshadowing, theme, tone, etc.) are working for or on the
reader?
- The thesis statement discusses the metaphor between the
timeline of the historical context and the events in the book.
You could mention that there is symbolism in use with the
disease spread and communism.
4. If the essay will discuss historical and/or cultural context, does the
thesis statement include an assertion or assertions about context,
historical or cultural?
a. Does the paper's argument engage a specifically defined
context?
- Yes I believe communism is your main point you are trying to
get across. You could say a little more than just communism.
Compare it to the books end.
b. What is the text saying about how context leads to A) rhetorical
devices or techniques, and/or B) a reception based on those
rhetorical devices?
- The text reveals how the historic context lays a metaphor for
the people living at that time period of the Red Scarce.
5. If the essay will discuss genre, does the thesis statement include an
assertion or assertions about genre or generic conventions?
a. Will the paper's argument engage specific conventions of the
horror genre?
b. What is the text saying about how conventions lead to A)
rhetorical devices or techniques, and, B) a reception based on
those rhetorical devices?
6. Does the thesis statement provide a logical plan for proving its
assertion?
a. Does it suggest (or do better than suggest) a stepwise, logical
approach to its subject matter?
- With the last sentence, how does the genre of horror tie into
all of it? I feel like it was just thrown in there. If youre going to
be talking about the horror genre, add a little more to the
thesis statement about it so readers will know what to expect
of it. Also, I think a last sentence should be added to
summarize what exactly you are going to prove at the end.
7. Does it pass the so-what test?
a. Are the assertions made by the thesis statement worth proving?
- This is definitely worth proving because most people dont
know the reason behind Mathesons writing.
b. Do they seem reasonable?
- It is very much reasonable because it holds intellectual value.
8. Is the argument of appropriate scope?
 a. Can the thesis reasonably be discussed within a 6- to 7-page
limit?
- With more added to the thesis statement, it could be
discussed in a 6-7 page limit.
b. Is there enough in the thesis statement to discuss for 6 to 7
pages?
- My two cents would be to add more to your thesis statement
to make it more full, and so that people know exactly what to
expect.
Ali Rehman
1. Is the thesis statement well formed?
a. Is it grammatically correct? Are verb tenses correct?
- Another This was just change this to make it correct.
b. Are there issues with punctuation?
i. 2x CHECK: Comma splices
- Good
ii. 2x CHECK: Incorrect semicolons
-Good
2. Does the thesis statement mention the kinds of evidence that will be
examined?
- It mentions the kind of evidence that will be examined just not
in a natural flow. It seems chopped up here and there.
3. Is the thesis statement addressing rhetorical issues?
a. Does the thesis statement include assertions about how a
particular reading is made possible or necessary because of the
way certain techniques or textual considerations (diction,
characterization, plotting, symbolism, metaphor, irony,
foreshadowing, theme, tone, etc.) are working for or on the
reader?
- Yes I see the metaphor you are trying to create. There is
symbolism in there as well.
4. If the essay will discuss historical and/or cultural context, does the
thesis statement include an assertion or assertions about context,
historical or cultural?
a. Does the paper's argument engage a specifically defined
context?
 -Its not specific what exactly your argument is (I know you didnt
finish writing some thoughts on the statement) so make what
youre talking about clear such as the fear that you mentioned
twice.
b. What is the text saying about how context leads to A) rhetorical
devices or techniques, and/or B) a reception based on those
rhetorical devices?
- The historical context leads us to the metaphoric comparison
in the book.
5. If the essay will discuss genre, does the thesis statement include an
assertion or assertions about genre or generic conventions?
a. Will the paper's argument engage specific conventions of the
horror genre?
b. What is the text saying about how conventions lead to A)
rhetorical devices or techniques, and, B) a reception based on
those rhetorical devices?
6. Does the thesis statement provide a logical plan for proving its
assertion?
a. Does it suggest (or do better than suggest) a stepwise, logical
approach to its subject matter?
- I feel like the flow and transition of it all could be better. Does
the fear of communism tie in with the tension between the US
and Soviet Union? If so, dont state it as another fear but
continue on with the flow of maybe how the tension created
the fear or how tension turned into fear. Also, tie in how the
horror genre connects with the historical context place a
sentence in between your two big ideas and connect the dots.
7. Does it pass the so-what test?
a. Are the assertions made by the thesis statement worth proving?
- This is worth proving. I would love to read the final product.
b. Do they seem reasonable?
- As reasonable can be!
8. Is the argument of appropriate scope?
a. Can the thesis reasonably be discussed within a 6- to 7-page
limit?
- Yes this can be discussed within a 6-7 page limit.
 b. Is there enough in the thesis statement to discuss for 6 to 7
pages?
- Add some content to what youll be proving in your thesis
statement.

Thesis Statement Revision:

In Richard Mathesons horror novel, I Am Legend, Robert Neville is the

main character fighting for his survival in a pandemic of vampirism. As the
lone survivor that is known at the time, there is much sympathy surrounding
his character and given situation presenting him as a hero getting through a
tough time. I will use Nol Carrolls definition of a monster in his essay The
Nature of Horror to turn Neville from a hero into a monster carefully through
the course of the book. Carrolls definition states that a monster is an
extraordinary character in an ordinary world, threatening, and impure. Once
that is demonstrated I will now state that point of view is complicated
because I have been able to use these particular elements essentially
establishing Robert Neville as an exception, which a monster always is. Even
then Mathesons strong internal focalization on Neville calls for the audience
to empathize with him. Nol Carroll also tells us that as an audience were
supposed to take our reactions from the primary protagonist. Would it make
sense to take reactions from a monster then? As the story proceeds, a new
character Ruth emerges as a hero. She comes into Nevilles life as a spy, but
to his knowledge she comes into it just as someone else trying to survive the
vampire apocalypse. Compared to Neville, Ruth is not portrayed as a
monster; for the purposes of the story she is a unified force, and she
symbolizes hope for Neville. She establishes a relation with Neville after they
both gradually let their guards down when they are both cooped up together
in his house for one night. I will prove that through one on one time, the base
of understanding and sympathy between two people can genuinely be
established and only from then will a relation and connection be built and
forgiveness will be possible.