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Pain was the only escape.

Its not that I dont love myself.

Its not that I wanted to end things here.
Its not that Im seeking for attention.
Im only doing this because I wanted to escape.
The blood I bled, the pain I endured, the scars I hold.
None of these hurt as much as how the world has hurt me.
It was the only thing that made me feel better.
Nothing helped me escape this pain in my heart, but this.
Only this.
Im not a masochist
Im not a pessimist.
I just need something to make feel like it didnt hurt that much.
Thats all I needed.