Anger Management

Corporate Training Materials

Instructor Guide
TABLE OF CONTENTS

Preface ..............................................................................................................................................1
What is Courseware? ................................................................................................................................ 1

How Do I Customize My Course? .............................................................................................................. 1

Materials Required ................................................................................................................................... 5

Maximizing Your Training Power .............................................................................................................. 6

Module One: Getting Started .............................................................................................................7

Icebreaker: Friends Indeed........................................................................................................................ 8

Housekeeping Items.................................................................................................................................. 9

Pre-Assignment Review .......................................................................................................................... 10

Workshop Objectives .............................................................................................................................. 11

Action Plans and Evaluations.................................................................................................................. 11

Module Two: Understanding Anger .................................................................................................. 12

The Cycle of Anger .................................................................................................................................. 13

Understanding Fight or Flight ................................................................................................................. 17

Common Myths about Anger.................................................................................................................. 18

Module Three: Dos and Donts ........................................................................................................ 20

Unhelpful Ways of Dealing with Anger................................................................................................... 21

Helpful Ways of Dealing with Anger ....................................................................................................... 23

Module Four: Gaining Control .......................................................................................................... 25

A Word of Warning ................................................................................................................................. 26

Using Coping Thoughts ........................................................................................................................... 29

Using Relaxation Techniques .................................................................................................................. 31

Blowing Off Some Steam ........................................................................................................................ 33

Module Five: Separate the People from the Problem ........................................................................ 35
Objective vs. Subjective Language .......................................................................................................... 36

Identifying the Problem .......................................................................................................................... 39

Using I Messages ................................................................................................................................. 41

Module Six: Working on the Problem ............................................................................................... 43

Using Constructive Disagreement .......................................................................................................... 44

Negotiation Tips...................................................................................................................................... 46

Building Consensus ................................................................................................................................. 48

Identifying Solutions ............................................................................................................................... 50

Module Seven: Solving the Problem ................................................................................................. 52

Choosing a Solution ................................................................................................................................ 53

Making a Plan ......................................................................................................................................... 55

Getting it Done ....................................................................................................................................... 57

Module Eight: A Personal Plan.......................................................................................................... 59

Understanding Hot Buttons .................................................................................................................... 60

Identifying Your Hot Buttons .................................................................................................................. 61

A Personal Anger Log .............................................................................................................................. 63

Module Nine: The Triple A Approach ................................................................................................ 65

Alter ........................................................................................................................................................ 66

Avoid ....................................................................................................................................................... 67

Accept ..................................................................................................................................................... 69

Module Ten: Dealing with Angry People ........................................................................................... 71

Understanding the Energy Curve ............................................................................................................ 72

De-escalation Techniques ....................................................................................................................... 76

When to Back Away and What to Do Next ............................................................................................. 79

Module Eleven: Pulling It All Together .............................................................................................. 82

 Process Overview .................................................................................................................................... 83

Putting It into Action .............................................................................................................................. 84

Putting It into Action............................................................................................................................... 85

Module Twelve: Wrapping Up .......................................................................................................... 87

Words from the Wise .............................................................................................................................. 87

Parking Lot .............................................................................................................................................. 88

Action Plans and Evaluations.................................................................................................................. 88

Appendix ......................................................................................................................................... 89
Worksheet One: Cycle of Anger .............................................................................................................. 89

Worksheet Two: Using Coping Thoughts ................................................................................................ 90

Worksheet Three: I-Messages ................................................................................................................ 91

Worksheet Four: Constructive Disagreement ......................................................................................... 92

Worksheet Five: Identifying Solutions .................................................................................................... 93

Come up with three possible solutions for the following situation using the method assigned to you. 93

Worksheet Six: Choosing the Best Solution ............................................................................................ 94

Worksheet Seven: Creating a Plan.......................................................................................................... 95

Worksheet Eight: Identifying Your Hot Buttons...................................................................................... 96

Pre-Assignment ....................................................................................................................................... 98

Action Plan ............................................................................................................................................ 100

Evaluation Form.................................................................................................................................... 102

Recommended Reading List.................................................................................................................. 103

 Learning is a treasure that will follow its
owner everywhere.

Chinese Proverb

Preface

What is Courseware?
Welcome to Corporate Training Materials, a whole new training experience!

Our courseware packages offer you top-quality training materials that are customizable, user-friendly,
educational, and fun. We provide your materials, materials for the student, your PowerPoint slides, and
a take-home reference sheet for the student. You simply need to prepare and train!

Best of all, our courseware packages are created in Microsoft Office and can be opened using any
version of Word and PowerPoint, from 97 to 2007. (Most other word processing and presentation
programs support these formats, too.) This means that you can customize the content, add your logo,
change the color scheme, and easily print and e-mail training materials.

How Do I Customize My Course?

Customizing your course is easy. To edit text, just click and type as you would with any document. This is
particularly convenient if you want to add customized statistics for your region, special examples for
your participants industry, or additional information. You can, of course, also use all of your word
processors other features, including text formatting and editing tools (such as cutting and pasting).

Page 1
To remove modules, simply select the text and press Delete on your keyboard. Then, navigate to the
Table of Contents, right-click, and click Update Field. You may see a dialog box; if so, click Update entire
table and press OK.

(You will also want to perform this step if you add modules or move them around.)

If you want to change the way text looks, you can format any piece of text any way you want. However,
to make it easy, weve used styles so that you can update all the text at once.

If youre using Word 97 to 2003, start by clicking the Format menu followed by Styles and Formatting. In
Word 2007, click the option button in the Styles group. Now, right-click on your chosen style and click
Modify.

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For example, if we wanted to change our Heading 1 style, used for Module Titles, this is what we would
do:

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Now, we can change our formatting and it will be applied to all the headings in the document.

For more information on making Word work for you, please refer to Word 2007 Essentials by Global
Courseware.

Page 4
Materials Required
All of our courses use flip chart paper and markers extensively. (If you prefer, you can use a whiteboard
or chalkboard instead.)

We recommend that each participant have a copy of the Student Training Guide, and that you review
each module before training to ensure you have any special materials required. We include worksheets
in the Appendix at the end of this manual that can be reproduced and used where indicated. If you
would like to save paper, these worksheets can often be transferred to flip chart paper, instead of
having individual worksheets.

We recommend these additional materials for all workshops:

Laptop with projector, for PowerPoint slides

Tips and Tricks Tutorial for students to take home

Timer or watch (separate from your laptop)

Masking tape

Blank paper

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Maximizing Your Training Power
We have just one more thing for you before you get started. Our company is built for trainers, by
trainers, so we thought we would share some of our tips with you, to help you create an engaging,
unforgettable experience for your participants.

MAKE IT CUSTOMIZED. By tailoring each course to your participants, you will find that your results
will increase a thousandfold.

o Use examples, case studies, and stories that are relevant to the group.

o Identify whether your participants are strangers or whether they work together. Tailor
your approach appropriately.

o Different people learn in different ways, so use different types of activities to balance it
all out. (For example, some people learn by reading, while others learn by talking about
it, while still others need a hands-on approach. For more information, we suggest
Experiential Learning by David Kolb.)

MAKE IT FUN AND INTERACTIVE. Most people do not enjoy sitting and listening to someone else talk
for hours at a time. Make use of the tips in this book and your own experience to keep your
participants engaged. Mix up the activities to include individual work, small group work, large
group discussions, and mini-lectures.

MAKE IT RELEVANT. Participants are much more receptive to learning if they understand why they
are learning it and how they can apply it in their daily lives. Most importantly, they want to
know how it will benefit them and make their lives easier. Take every opportunity to tie what
you are teaching back to real life.

KEEP AN OPEN MIND. Many trainers find that they learn something each time they teach a
workshop. If you go into a training session with that attitude, you will find that there can be an
amazing two-way flow of information between the trainer and trainees. Enjoy it, learn from it,
and make the most of it in your workshops.

And now, time for the training!

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 Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot
coal with the intent of throwing it at
someone else; you are the one who gets
burned.

Buddha

Module One: Getting Started

Welcome to the Anger Management workshop. Benjamin Franklin once said, In this world, nothing can
be said to be certain, except death and taxes. We would like to have a third item to his list: anger.
Anger can be an incredibly damaging force, costing people their jobs, personal relationships, and even
their lives when it gets out of hand. However, since everyone experiences anger, it is important to have
constructive approaches to manage it effectively.

This workshop will help teach participants how to identify their anger triggers and what to do when their
angry.

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Icebreaker: Friends Indeed
PURPOSE

To get participants moving around and introduced to each other.

MATERIALS REQUIRED

Name card for each person

Markers

PREPARATION

Have participants fill out their name card. Then, ask participants to stand in a circle, shoulder to
shoulder. They should place their name card at their feet. Then they can take a step back. You as the
facilitator should take the place in the center of the circle.

ACTIVITY

Explain that there is one less place than people in the group, as you are in the middle and will be
participating. You will call out a statement that applies to you, and anyone to whom that statement
applies must find another place in the circle.

Examples:

Friends who have cats at home

Friends who are wearing blue

Friends who dont like ice cream

The odd person out must stand in the center and make a statement.

The rules:

You cannot move immediately to your left or right, or back to your place.

Lets be adults: no kicking, punching, body-checking, etc.

Play a few rounds until everyone has had a chance to move around.

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Housekeeping Items
Take a few moments to cover basic housekeeping items.

Let participants know where they can find washrooms, break facilities,
and fire exits.

Ask participants to turn off their cell phones or at least turn them to
vibrate. If they must take a call, request that they do it outside.

Take this time to encourage the group to ask questions and make this
an interactive workshop.

Tape a sheet of flip chart paper to the wall and mark it Parking Lot. Explain that any questions
that cant be answered, or that are more appropriate for a post-workshop explanation, will be
placed here and dealt with at the end of the day.

Write the words Respect, Confidentiality, and Practice on a piece of flip chart paper and tape it
to the wall. Explain to participants that in order to get the most out of this workshop, we must
all work together, listen to each other, explore new ideas, and make mistakes. After all, thats
how we learn!

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Pre-Assignment Review
The purpose of the Pre-Assignment is to get participants thinking about the Anger Management
strategies they are already using and where they need to improve.

As a pre-assignment, we asked participants to think of a situation where they had experienced anger,
preferably one that no longer affects them in the present time.

We also asked them to recall the exact symptoms they experienced, and the way they responded to the
symptoms. The following guide questions can help during this process:

During your anger incident,

1 What symptoms did you experience

a. physically?

b. mentally?

c. emotionally?

d. behaviorally?

a. What was your response to your anger symptoms?

b. Was your response helpful? If yes, in what way was it helpful? If your response was not helpful,
in what way was it unhelpful?

We asked the participants to take a moment to review their responses. The participants were also
requested to keep their responses in mind during the workshop, as they can assist in grounding the
ideas to be presented into their practical lives.

NOTE: A worksheet for these questions can be found in the Appendix Section.

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Workshop Objectives
Research has consistently demonstrated that when clear goals are
associated with learning that the learning occurs more easily and
rapidly. With that in mind, lets review our goals for today.

By the end of this workshop, participants will be able to:

Understand anger dynamics in terms of the anger cycle and

the fight and flight theory.

Know common anger myths and their factual refutations.

Know the helpful and unhelpful ways of dealing with anger.

Know techniques in controlling anger, particular reading anger warning signs, using coping
thoughts, exercising relaxation techniques and blowing off steam.

Understand the difference between objective and subjective language.

Know tips in identifying the problem.

Express a feeling or position using I-messages.

Know skills and techniques in making a disagreement constructive, including effective

negotiation and solution-building.

Reflect on ones hot buttons and personal anger dynamics.

Know alter, avoid and accept ways of responding to an anger-provoking situation.

Understand the energy curve and how it can help in responding to someone elses anger.

Learn and practice de-escalation techniques.

Gain an integrated view of anger management and how it can be best practiced.

Action Plans and Evaluations

Pass out the participant action plans and evaluations, available in the appendix of this manual. Ask
participants to fill these out throughout the day as they learn new things and have ideas on how to
incorporate the things we discuss into their lives.

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 Anger always comes from frustrated
expectations.

Elliot Larson

Module Two: Understanding Anger

Before we discuss specific anger management strategies, it is helpful to first understand the nature of
anger. While most are familiar with this emotion, not everyone is aware of its underlying dynamics. In
this module, we will discuss the cycle of anger, the fight-and-flight response, and common myths about
anger.

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The Cycle of Anger
Estimated Time 15 minutes

Topic Objective To enumerate and describe the five phases of the anger cycle.

Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss.

It has five phases:

The Trigger Phase. The trigger phase happens when we perceive a

threat or loss, and our body prepares to respond.

The Escalation Phase. In the escalation phase is the progressive

appearance of the anger response.

The Crisis Phase. The crisis phase is when the anger reaction is at its
Topic Summary peak. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if not
impaired.

The Recovery Phase. The recovery phase happens when the anger
has been spent, or at least controlled, and there is now a steady
return to a persons normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning
and awareness of ones self returns.

The Depression Phase. The depression phase marks a return to a

persons normal/ adaptive ways. A persons full use of his faculties
return at this point. Consequently, this stage may be marked by
embarrassment, guilt, regret and/ or depression.

Flipchart

Materials Required Markers

Worksheet One (Optional)

Prepare an example to illustrate the 5 phases of anger, preferably one thats

suited to the profile of the group. You may also use the example in this
Planning Checklist manual.

Print out Worksheet One for everyone (optional).

Ask participants to think of a person whose anger reaction they have

observed. It can be a family member, a friend or a co-worker. Ask them to
Recommended Activity think about how this person goes through the five phases of the anger cycle
(or any of the five they have seen). Discuss their observations. NOTE: Keep
identities confidential!

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 If a participant is comfortable with self-analysis, then he or she can choose to
analyze a personal anger incident for this activity. The incident they thought
of for the pre-assignment review can be a subject for the activity.

Worksheet One is an optional guide for this activity.

At this stage of the workshop, the group may not yet be comfortable around
self-reflection and self-disclosure. Succeeding modules, however, have many
areas of self-analysis. You may set up for this methodology by explaining to
Delivery Tips the group early on that the workshop topic may be sensitive and personal,
but learning can be maximize if concepts are related to personal experiences.
Model self-analysis and self-disclosure to the group to set the tone.
Encourage acceptance and contract for confidentiality.

Review Questions What are the 5 phases of the anger cycle?

Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. Its a pervasive emotion; it
affects our body, thoughts, feelings and behavior. Anger is often described in terms of its intensity,
frequency, duration, threshold and expression.

Anger typically follows a predictable pattern: a cycle. Understanding the cycle of anger can help us
understand our own anger reactions, and those of others. It can also help us in considering the most
appropriate response.

Illustrated below are the five phases of the anger cycle: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery and
depression.

Crisis

Escalation Recovery

The Cycle
of Anger
Trigger
Depression

Normal/
Adaptive Phase

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The Trigger Phase

The trigger phase happens when we perceive a threat or loss, and our body prepares to
respond. In this phase, there is a subtle change from an individuals normal/ adaptive state into
his stressed state. Anger triggers differ from person to person, and can come from both the
environment or from our thought processes.

1. The Escalation Phase

In the escalation phase, there is the progressive appearance of the anger response. In
this phase, our body prepares for a crisis after perceiving the trigger. This preparation is mostly
physical, and is manifested through symptoms like rapid breathing, increased heart rate and
raised blood pressure. Once the escalation phase is reached there is less chance of calming
down, as this is the phase where the body prepares for fight or flight (to be discussed later).

3. The Crisis Phase

As previously mentioned, the escalation phase is progressive, and it is in the crisis phase
that the anger reaction reaches its peak. In the crisis phase our body is on full alert, prepared to
take action in response to the trigger. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if
not impaired because the anger instinct takes over. In extreme cases, the crisis phase means
that a person may be a serious danger to himself or to other people.

4. The Recovery Phase

The recovery phase happens when the anger has been spent, or at least controlled, and
there is now a steady return to a persons normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning and
awareness of ones self returns. If the right intervention is applied, the return to normalcy
progresses smoothly. However, an inappropriate intervention can re-ignite the anger and serve
as a new trigger.

5. The Depression Phase

The depression phase marks a return to a persons normal/ adaptive ways. Physically, this stage
marks below normal vital signs, such as heart rate, so that the body can recover equilibrium. A
persons full use of his faculties return at this point, and the new awareness helps a person
assess what just occurred. Consequently, this stage may be marked by embarrassment, guilt,
regret and/ or depression.

After the depression phase is a return to a normal or adaptive phase. A new trigger, however, can start
the entire cycle all over again.

Below is an example of a person going through the five stages of the anger cycle:

Page 15
Josephine came home from work to see dirty plates left in the sink (trigger phase). She started to wash
them, but as she was doing so she kept thinking about how inconsiderate her children are for not
cleaning after themselves. She was already tired from work and does not need the extra chore. She felt
the heat in her neck and the tremble in her hands as shes washing the dishes (escalation phase).

Feeling like she cant keep it to herself any longer, she stormed up the room to confront her kids. In a
raised voice, she asked them how difficult could it be to wash the dishes. She told them that they are
getting punished for their lack of responsibility (crisis phase).

Having gotten the words out, she felt calmer, and her heartbeat slowly returned to normal. She saw that
her kids are busy with homework when she had interrupted them. She was also better able to hear their
reasoning, as they apologized (recovery phase).

Josephine regretted yelling at her children and told them that shes simply tired and its not their fault
(depression phase).

NOTE: How long each phase lasts differ from person to person. Some people also skip certain phases, or
else they go through them privately and/ or unconsciously.

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Understanding Fight or Flight
Estimated Time 10 minutes

To understand the fight or flight theory.

Topic Objective To understand the implications of the fight or flight theory to anger
management.

The Fight or Flight theory describes how people either aggress (fight) or
withdraw (flight) when faced with threats. The fight or flight response is
Topic Summary accompanied by physiological reactions designed for alertness and action.

This theory helps to realize that anger is an instinctive reaction, and

conscious effort is needed so that it does not overpower us.

Recommended Activity Ask the group for examples of fight and flight responses during anger.

Flip chart
Materials Required
Markers

Animals also have this instinct. The importance of understanding this section
Stories to Share is to be able to tap into that part of us that would stop us from acting like
animals when faced with anger triggers.

Emphasize the implications of the fight and flight theory in anger

Delivery Tips
management.

Review Questions What happens to our bodies when we perceive a threat?

The Fight or Flight theory, formulated by Walter Cannon, describes how people react to perceived
threat. Basically, when faced with something that can harm us, we either aggress (fight) or withdraw
(flight). It is believed that this reaction is an ingrained instinct geared towards survival.

The fight or flight instinct is manifested in bodily ways. When faced with a threat, our body releases the
hormones adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol. These chemicals are designed to take us to a state of
alertness and action. They result in increased energy, heart rate, slowed digestion, and above normal
strength.

Understanding the fight or flight instinct can help us understand the dynamics of our anger response.
The following are some of the implications of the fight and flight theory on anger management:

First, the theory underscores how anger is but a natural response. There is no morality to anger. Anger is
a result of perceived harm to self, whether physical or emotional.

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Second, this theory reminds us of the need to stay in
control. When we are angry, our rational self gets
overridden by a basic survival instinct. Theres a need to
act immediately. This instinct can then result in
aggressiveness, over-reactivity and hypervigilance, which
are all contrary to rational and deliberate response.
Conscious effort towards self-awareness and control is
needed so that this instinct does not overpower us.

Common Myths about Anger

Estimated Time 10 minutes

Topic Objective To list common misconceptions about anger and their refutations.

Common myths about anger includes:

1. Anger is a bad emotion.

2. Anger needs to be unleashed for it to go away.

Topic Summary
3. Ignoring anger will make it go away.

4. You cant control your anger.

5. If I dont get angry, people will think Im a pushover.

Flip chart
Materials Required
Marker

Present each of the myths to the class in the form of a debatable question.
Example: Is anger a bad emotion?
Recommended Activity
Solicit opinions and encourage a friendly group debate before providing the
factual refutation of the myth.

Delivery Tips You may also solicit from the group other anger myths that they know.

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Here are five common myths about anger:

1. Anger is a bad emotion.

There is no such thing as a good or bad emotion; they are instinctual reactions and
we dont make conscious decisions for them to come. In fact, some anger reactions
are appropriate, such as the anger against discrimination, injustice and abuse.
What can be judged as positive or negative/ healthy or unhealthy is how we react
to anger.

2. Anger needs to be unleashed for it to go away.

Its true that anger needs to be expressed in order for symptoms to be relieved. However, expressing
anger in verbally or physically aggressive ways are not the only way to unleash anger. Nor is anger an
excuse for a person to be aggressive. The expression of anger can be tempered by rationality and
forethought.

Note that venting anger does not necessarily results into the anger disappearing, although venting can
relieve the symptoms. At times, processing personal experiences, seeing concrete change and genuine
forgiveness are needed for anger to go away.

3. Ignoring anger will make it go away.

Generally, all kinds of emotions do not disappear when ignored. The anger just gets temporarily shelved,
and will likely find other ways of getting expressed. It can get projected to another person, transformed
into a physical symptom, or built up for a bigger future blow up. Some of our behaviors may even be
unconscious ways of expressing anger.

While there are situations when its inadvisable to express your anger immediately, the very least you
can do is acknowledge that it exists.

4. You cant control your anger.

This myth is related to the second one. As discussed earlier, the fight and flight instinct can make anger
an overwhelming emotion. However, this instinct does not mean that youre but a slave to your
impulses. Awareness of anger dynamics and a conscious effort to rise above your anger can help you
regain control of your reactions.

5. If I dont get angry, people will think I am a pushover.

Its true that a person can lose credibility is he makes rules and then ignores violations. However, anger
is not the only way a person can show that there are consequences to violations. In fact, the most
effective way of instilling discipline in others is to have a calm, non-emotional approach to dealing with
rule-breakers. Calm and rationality can communicate strength too.

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 How much more grievous are the
consequences of anger than the causes of
it.

Marcus Aurelius

Module Three: Dos and Donts

Now that weve established that anger is a natural, unavoidable and instinctual reaction, lets look at
how we can respond to anger appropriately. In this module, we will discuss the dos and donts in
responding to anger.

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Unhelpful Ways of Dealing with Anger
Estimated Time 10 minutes

Topic Objective To present unhelpful ways of dealing with anger.

Donts in dealing with anger include:

DONT ignore the anger.

DONT keep the anger inside.

Topic Summary
DONT be aggressive,

DONT be passive-aggressive.

DONT use non-constructive communication styles.

Make sure that you prepare enough materials, proportionate to the size of
Preparation Checklist the group. Check the venue before the workshop to know the best place to
post the large sheet(s) of paper.

Flip chart

Large sheets of paper (newsprint, manila paper or cartolina paper

are fine; you may also opt to just use the writing board for this
Materials Needed activity)

Markers

Tape

(This activity can be the activity for both sections of this module: unhelpful
ways of dealing with anger/ helpful ways of dealing with anger)

Post large sheet(s) of paper on one wall of the conference hall. Provide
several markers the groups use.

Give the group five minutes to write on the paper/ board as many ways of
Recommended Activity
dealing with anger that they know. These can be things that they do
themselves, or things they see others do. Encourage the group to write the
first thing that comes to their mind and not to worry if their answer is a good
strategy or a bad one.

Once everyone is done, the group can then pick out the ways of dealing with
anger that they think are unhelpful. You can cross out these ways with a

Page 21
 different colored marker.

Encourage a discussion on why their choices may be unhelpful ways.

Relate the principles to be discussed in this module to the examples of

unhelpful ways of dealing with anger presented by the group.
Delivery Tips
Surface other unhelpful ways of dealing with anger not mentioned in this
manual.

Review Questions Give three unhelpful ways of dealing with anger.

The following are unhelpful ways of dealing with anger:

1. DONT ignore the anger.

Some people respond to anger by not admitting, even to themselves, that they are angry.
Defense mechanisms often used to ignore anger include laughing
an issue off, distracting ones self from the problem, and trivializing
the triggers impact.

2. DONT keep the anger inside.

There are people who do recognize that theyre angry. However,

they choose to obsess about their anger in silence rather than
express it. They can bear grudges for a long time. People like this,
also called stuffers, are more likely to develop hypertension
compared to others. They are also likely to just explode one day, once the anger has built to
the point that they cant keep it inside anymore.

3. DONT get aggressive.

The right to vent your anger doesnt extend to doing it in ways that can hurt others, hurt
yourself and damage property. Aggression can be verbal or physical.

4. DONT get passive-aggressive.

Passive-aggressiveness refers to indirect and underhanded means to get back at the person who
made you angry. Examples of passive-aggressive behaviors are gossiping, tardiness and
backbiting.

5. DONT use non-constructive communication styles.

Avoid the use of indirect attacks and unproductive statements. These include blaming, labeling,
preaching, moralizing, ordering, warning, interrogating, ridiculing and lecturing.

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Helpful Ways of Dealing with Anger
Estimated Time 10 minutes

Topic Objective To present helpful ways of dealing with anger.

Dos in dealing with anger include:

DO acknowledge that you are angry.

DO calm yourself before you say anything.

Topic Summary
DO speak up, when something is important to you.

Do explain what youre feeling in a manner that shows personal

responsibility for your anger.

Flip chart paper

Materials Required
Markers

From the previous activity, you already have a list of ways to deal with anger,
with the unhelpful ones crossed out. This time, encircle all the remaining
Recommended Activity
helpful ways of dealing with anger. Discuss with the group what makes these
ways helpful.

Relate the principles to be discussed in this module to the examples of

unhelpful ways of dealing with anger presented by the group.
Delivery Tips
Surface other helpful ways of dealing with anger not mentioned in this
manual.

Review Questions Give 3 helpful ways of dealing with anger.

The following are helpful ways in dealing with anger:

1. DO acknowledge that you are angry.

It is important that you know how to recognize that you are angry, and give yourself permission
to feel it. This can be as simple as saying to yourself I am angry. Remember, you cant control
something you dont admit exists!

2. DO calm yourself before you say anything.

In the previous discussions, we saw how there is a biological reason why anger can feel
overwhelming --- our body is engaged in a fight or flight response. It helps then to defer any

Page 23
 reactions until you have reached the return to normal/ adaptive
phase of the anger cycle. Otherwise, you might end up saying or
doing something that youd later regret. Count 1 to 10!

3. DO speak up, when something is important to you.

This is the opposite to keeping it all in. If a matter is important to

you, so much so that keeping silent would just result in physical and
mental symptoms, then let it out. If its not possible to speak to the
person concerned, at least look for a trusted friend or a mental
health professional.

4. DO explain how youre feeling in a manner that shows ownership and responsibility for your
anger.

Take ownership and responsibility for your feelings. This makes the anger within your control
(you cant control other people). One way to take ownership and responsibility for your anger is
through the use of I-messages, which would be discussed in a later module.

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